Do Clouds Rest?: Dementiadventures with Mom

by Michael Hicks

Do Clouds Rest? playfully archives the musings of a mother and son as they spend time together during her final eight months of life with dementia. From Marilyn Thompson’s entry into an assisted living center in Utah to the obituary and eulogy that followed her abrupt death, these anecdotes and reflections by her only child, Michael, reveal her wit and instinct for survival as she gradually realizes that she is literally losing her mind—or at least most of its everyday parts. The woman beneath the surface of her decline emerges in fresh ways, however abbreviated and questioning. The book is short but vivid as the mosaic of daily experiences depicts not only a woman but a reborn and recalibrated relationship.

114 pages, Paperback

Published September 8, 2017

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Reviews

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Hicks. Prolific composer, author, professor. Master of subtlety, profundity, and puns. Inspiration to probably every current & former student. I count myself lucky to be counted among the latter, and as an acquaintance, I have been able to sample his writing over the years, both in formal and informal settings.

Do Clouds Rest? collects a series of short observations about his mother, originally posted on Facebook. In the months before her death, Hicks' mother lived in an assisted-living community just a few blocks from him, and he made a point of visiting her every day, even if just for a few minutes. These observations are from the time they spent together, and center around the memory loss she went through.

Dr. Hicks is among the most well-spoken (and well-written) people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, so it's no surprise to me that the same is true here. There is humor, there is wit, there is frustration and pain. And while Hicks does not whitewash the difficulties of an end-of-life experience, the feeling that comes through is an evenness and sensitivity that feels exactly right. I don't know how else to describe it.

This book is a beautiful, loving tribute to Hicks' mother. I recommend it to everyone.

Here is one of my favorite passages:

Buying a birthday card with Mom to give to my son Johnny and she keeps saying "I don't really know him" and "He won't know who I am" and I keep telling her that she might not remember but he's 24 and he's known her since he was born and I try to explain that her memory is going and when she finally picks out a card she says the same things again and I give her a pen to sign it and she asks "How do I sign it—Aunt Marilyn?" and I say "You're not his aunt, he's your grandson" and she asks me this again and so I help her to sign "Grandma Thompson" though she keeps insisting he won't know who she is and I assure her that he will and on the way home she says "This is a transitional time for me—at some point I might not even know my own name" and I say "You won't but I will" and she says "Thank you."

[Becca Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a quick but very powerful read. Knowing someone with dementia or Alzheimer's is so common but this book shows just how much personality remains in one who has been diagnosed. I loved seeing his moms personality shine through and the love and devotion he had for her.

[Blair Hodges · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most books about dementia are science or therapy focused. Only a few focus on the relationship between a parent and child. None manage to combine warmth, wit, and sorrow as deftly as Michael Hicks's "Do Clouds Rest?" If you love someone with Alzheimer's or dementia, I strongly recommend this cathartic, funny, sad, thoughtful book. It made me feel somehow both lonely and less alone. It's a playful archive of exchanges between mother and son spending time together during her final eight months of life with dementia.