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Usages du monde: Règles du savoir-vivre dans la société moderne
Ce livre sur les usages de la société au 19e siècle, est une mine d'or pour comprendre la littérature de cette époque. Comme ces codes imprégnaient tous les rapports sociaux, ils n'ont pas été évoqués explicitement par les écrivains. Un autre intérêt est que bien des bonnes manières dérivent de ces pratiques, dont la lettre peut être dépassée mais pas l'esprit.
386 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 9, 2016
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September 15, 2018
Blanche-Augustine-Angèle Soyer (1843-1911) is a French author known under the pseudonym of Baroness Staffe, famous in her time for her best-seller, Usages of the world: rules of etiquette in modern society.
What could I tell you about this book? While reading it, I couldn't stop crying to laugh!
Here are few excerpts (translation by myself, good English not guaranteed!)
First "rendez-vous":
"Common friends can bring the young man and the young lady together for an intimate dinner, arranged for the occasion, and attended, it goes without saying, that the parents of the young lady are present.
These have the prudence not to instruct their daughter of the purpose of this meeting. This reserve has advantages. If she were warned of the kind of examination she will undergo, the emotion, the apprehension she would feel would make her lose her grace and her naturalness, and she would not have enough cold-blood to judge whoever presents himself with the idea of becoming the companion of her life. On the other hand, if she was not liked, it would be unfortunate to tell her what this dinner was about. She is humiliated, she loses confidence in herself. And it is not good for a young girl to have a too good opinion of herself."
Then, if the Monsieur and the young lady want to know each other before they decide to get married, the Monsieur can go for a walk with the young lady... but between them will walk the young lady's mother! :D
Once married:
"Around the first of january, the housewives have almost always bags of candy that they received in present. They are happy to have these treats on a nice plate, or in a beautiful cup that they offer to visitors.
When a baptism box has been sent to you, you can also reserve these dragees to offer to visitors. It's the box that you have to present. The people to whom it is presented take only one dragée at a time. The lady of the house always insists that we take a second dragee. The same rule is followed with respect with any dish of sweets.
There are still certain circumstances in which an inexperienced woman has difficulty in getting out of a trouble. For example, we would say that a young woman should better not receive the male friends of her husband in his absence, outside the day of reception. However, when one is without a servant, one can open the door to one's visitors. In this case, we will not show a fierce prudery. We will bring in the friend, but we will leave the door of the room where we will receive him, wide open. We will be very reserved in the conversation, and won't feed it as much as usual, so that the friend understands that he must not prolong his visit. If he stayed more than a quarter of an hour, he would be kindly told:
"I beg your pardon for chasing you, but I have to go out. (I am expected, or I have such a race to do, etc.) - A man, in the absence of his wife, will bring in the visitors who will come, but they will remain only a few moments."
From birth to death, all the details of etiquette are described like... a sweet prison!
What could I tell you about this book? While reading it, I couldn't stop crying to laugh!
Here are few excerpts (translation by myself, good English not guaranteed!)
First "rendez-vous":
"Common friends can bring the young man and the young lady together for an intimate dinner, arranged for the occasion, and attended, it goes without saying, that the parents of the young lady are present.
These have the prudence not to instruct their daughter of the purpose of this meeting. This reserve has advantages. If she were warned of the kind of examination she will undergo, the emotion, the apprehension she would feel would make her lose her grace and her naturalness, and she would not have enough cold-blood to judge whoever presents himself with the idea of becoming the companion of her life. On the other hand, if she was not liked, it would be unfortunate to tell her what this dinner was about. She is humiliated, she loses confidence in herself. And it is not good for a young girl to have a too good opinion of herself."
Then, if the Monsieur and the young lady want to know each other before they decide to get married, the Monsieur can go for a walk with the young lady... but between them will walk the young lady's mother! :D
Once married:
"Around the first of january, the housewives have almost always bags of candy that they received in present. They are happy to have these treats on a nice plate, or in a beautiful cup that they offer to visitors.
When a baptism box has been sent to you, you can also reserve these dragees to offer to visitors. It's the box that you have to present. The people to whom it is presented take only one dragée at a time. The lady of the house always insists that we take a second dragee. The same rule is followed with respect with any dish of sweets.
There are still certain circumstances in which an inexperienced woman has difficulty in getting out of a trouble. For example, we would say that a young woman should better not receive the male friends of her husband in his absence, outside the day of reception. However, when one is without a servant, one can open the door to one's visitors. In this case, we will not show a fierce prudery. We will bring in the friend, but we will leave the door of the room where we will receive him, wide open. We will be very reserved in the conversation, and won't feed it as much as usual, so that the friend understands that he must not prolong his visit. If he stayed more than a quarter of an hour, he would be kindly told:
"I beg your pardon for chasing you, but I have to go out. (I am expected, or I have such a race to do, etc.) - A man, in the absence of his wife, will bring in the visitors who will come, but they will remain only a few moments."
From birth to death, all the details of etiquette are described like... a sweet prison!
Displaying 1 of 1 review