Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

The New York Times bestselling book Boundaries has already helped millions understand that being a loving Christian doesn't mean you always have to say yes. Designed to help you create your own life-giving boundaries, Boundaries Workbook provides practical wisdom for setting boundaries in a highly connected digital age.

This companion guide to Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provides practical readings and prompts that will encourage you and teach you how to set healthy, necessary boundaries with your parents, spouse, children, friends, bosses, coworkers, social media, and more in order to help you become the best version of yourself.

Following the latest edition of Boundaries chapter-by-chapter, these interactive exercises are designed to help you take a closer look at your own life and ask

Why do I feel guilty about setting clear boundaries?What if the boundaries I set hurt the other person?Why is it difficult for me to hear no from others?What are examples of legitimate boundaries I can set at work and at home?How can I have good boundaries online and with social media?Can I stay connected while still setting boundaries with my phone?Boundaries Workbook gives you the support and the Scripture you need to help others respect your boundaries--whether you want to improve your work-life balance or you're practicing saying no when someone asks you to volunteer for one more activity.

Discover firsthand that having good, biblical boundaries gives you the freedom to live as the loving, generous, fulfilled person God created you to be.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Christian, Relationships, Personal Growth, Christian Living

237 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 18, 1995

About the author

Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships—marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.

Reviews

[Amy Yeager · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book Boundaries was amazing and life changing; however, the workbook was poorly organized and very repetitious. Although many of the questions were relevant and important, many were just recycled from the previous section. The chapters in the workbook did not correspond with the chapters of the Boundaries book. That was challenging, difficult to follow, and frustrating.

[Coralie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd read the book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life twice before--once before the update and once after--but I'd never done the workbook. I didn't even know there was a workbook at first. But my women's Bible study group decided to go through the book and a few of us chose to go through the workbook simultaneously. Since this was my third time reading the book, I figured it would be the perfect time to go through the accompanying workbook!

You can see my review of the book itself to see my thoughts there, but suffice it to say I find the concepts and writing extremely freeing, truth-driven, and practical. The workbook goes hand in hand, section by section through the book and gives you a more detailed guide on how to analyze your own life and apply the principles in your specific situation. It often drew short passages from the book itself, and so was primarily self-sustaining, but there were a few instances where it asked you to draw on a story or example given in the book.

I very much enjoyed the workbook. There were a few sections that weren't applicable to me (I'm not married or a parent, for instance, so the spouse and child analysis wasn't something I could answer.) I've read the information in the book itself (and I did read through each question in the workbook to see which applied and which didn't) because I could still learn about relationships, boundaries, communication, etc. either to apply to my future or to further analyze the relationships in my past and that I've witnessed. That said, it was fairly easy to simply add an NA under the sections that I couldn't answer and move on. The book covers every imaginable aspect of boundaries and thoroughly delves into each section so that you can have something to work with at any stage of the journey. The workbook balanced self-reflection, applying God's word, and creating a practical, actionable plan for your life.

Highly recommended. Easy to understand. Encouraging and not demeaning. Enlightening and freeing. I'd recommend reading the actual book, either on its own or in tandem with this workbook, but if you really wanted to just do the workbook, you probably could.

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been reading this book for a little bit but it truly is filled with so much goodness. For the people pleasers, the doormats, the people who say yes for others - learn to say no. Learn that forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t not the same thing. We can let go and forgive the debts of others. Reconciliation is contingent on the other personal owning their behavior. We tend to hold on to hope but sometimes we need to accept the reality of who they are and letting go off the wish for them to be different - the essence of grief and it is “sad indeed”.

“Let others’ debts go. Do not keep seeing a bad account…unforgiveness destroys boundaries. forgiveness creates them, for it gets bad debts off your property.”

“Forgiveness and opening up to more abuse are not the same thing. Forgiveness has to do with the past. Reconciliation and boundaries have to do with the future. Limits guard my property until someone can be trusted to visit again. Forgiveness gives me boundaries because it unhooks me from hurtful person and then in an act responsibly.”

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am reading this excellent book again in a Bible Study. I first read it several years ago and was very impressed. People who read the Holy Bible might think they have to do everything for everybody. But is that really loving their neighbor? Or do we have to say No sometimes, to set limits and define who we are and who we are not? This is a wonderful explanation of Christian relationships and how to help them thrive. The authors include hundreds of Bible references and it makes for a great topical Bible Study for individuals or groups. I have seen these principles work in real life and highly recommend Boundaries and the companion workbook.

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have finished this book years ago, but it didn't help much this time. Lots of reflective questions, but I was looking for steps and suggestions on handling narcissism and reforming my co-dependent tendencies. Other books gave me specific actions or detailed examples rather than putting it back on me. Codependent no more or Stop Caretaking the BPD or Narcissist were better for me this time around.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t like this book at first, but trusted those who recommended it. In the end it was like a fish discovering water and why it was essential. The writing wasn’t so amazing, but the principles continue to come to mind throughout my day and empower me to use them with more purpose or to teach them to my children or students more clearly.

[April · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a very good companion to the first read of the novel. It mainly touched on the main points of the novel but did not give very good outside activity. I felt like it was a review of the book, so maybe better if it was my 2nd or 3rd time reviewing the novel.

[Em Swaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read that explores what boundaries are and why they are so important for all aspects of life.
We can love people best by putting boundaries in place even though they may become angry or frustrated by them. Remember we are living for an audience of ONE!

[J Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent when utilized with the book. It was life-changing for me, because it required me to go back and review the chapters, as well as help me apply the boundaries in my relationships.

[Cheley · Rating 5 out of 5]

assists in defining boundaries ~ good advice.

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some good ideas. Rather dry for me. Hard time finishing.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worked on this workbook with a small group. The questions are good to help you think about where and how to set up boundaries. Great book to work with. Use it in a small group.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone. Must. Read. This. Book. Period.

[Meghan Corduan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great workbook on defining boundaries in your workplace and in your personal life.

[Heather Kirkpatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read. Especially for anyone who was neglected and abused... But a great read for everyone in general.

[Bethany Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed the way I think about everything. Loved it and must read it again.

[Macey West · Rating 1 out of 5]

To much religion and not enough actual help.

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely recommendable to read together with the textbook, and in a group.

[Joy Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the material was good, I thought the chapters were way to heavy and intense. Each one took 1.5-2 hours today. I would suggest splitting each chapter into a week and doing a little of the study each day.
This is for the person that is in lots of different relationships...family/friends/co-workers.

[Andrea]

Started reading this and realized that it has a Christian base, so I stopped reading it.

[Teresa Krafft · Rating 5 out of 5]

Used as a book study for small group. Very helpful and informative.

[Tillia Britt]

best book ever. I've reread multiple times in different seasons

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad, but part of me knows I didn't get the full effect because I wasn't a) in a group and b) didn't see the companion film. That being said on part of me found a sensitive spot and has me thinking and that was involving eating. Part of it is true I used it as a coping mechanism, but not to avoid meaningful relationships. I find the part of it asking if the person uses food to make themselves "less attractive" a bit appalling because my teachings in Sunday School/church was that we look past appearances (one should be clean, clean clothes, conservative modest at best, were as appearance focused as we got). Outside of that it was a good book to have.

[Lexine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book challenged me on my boundaries and helped me stop believing some of the lies I hold regarding boundaries. I have had the book for along but was reluctant to start it but once I started the participant guide I couldn't put the book down. It is refreshing and great to know that it's ok for boundaries to change.As well it is important to have safe people to work out your boundaries with. Boundaries are huge and so important in life!!! I am going to be reading more books by Cloud.

[Ramona · Rating 3 out of 5]

a book about mental and physical boundaries. Fortunately or unfortunately (I am not sure which at the moment), I've learned some not so flattering things about myself. It's a really fucked up feeling to be so self aware that it makes you question your own motives, which you were so sure were clear cut and justifiable.

[Jody · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life in only a few pages. I have bought this book for several other as well. It is fantastic for relationships with family, co-workers, friends, siblings, spouse, parents, bf/gf, and anyone who is in your life. The wisdom in this book can heal a family, even if only one person begins to make the changes.

[Kristine Bolt · Rating 5 out of 5]

The perfect companion

I used the workbook as I read the book and found it a vastly enriching experience. Reading each section of the book then journaling through the questions in the workbook helped me to really dig in and process what I read, and see how to apply it to my life. I’m glad I bought and used it along with the book!

[Stephanie Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The questions and videos helped explain boundaries in a lot more detail than the novel itself. I got so much out of this and I can already see how setting boundaries is working in my life! So excited to continue this journey!

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful to assist reader reflect on the material in the book, Boundaries, and to help them make the information relevant to themselves. Use of scripture which makes this a helpful book in a Christian counseling setting.

[Eddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

not to rush, and learn people character