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Homesteading in the Calm Eye of the Storm: A Therapist Navigates His Complex PTSD
Homesteading in the Calm Eye of the Storm is a companion book to my self-help COMPLEX From Surviving to Thriving. Homesteading is also a memoir of my journey of recovering from C-PTSD. Written in a more playful, easier to read style than my other books, it is much less dense and relatively free of psychological jargon. Several previewers have described it as rich, poignant, funny and full of self-disclosive anecdotes that are sure to help other survivors in their recovery.
"Homesteading" has two parts. In Part I, I escape from my dysfunctional family and backpack around the world seeking happiness while I unconsciously flee my suffering.
In Part II, I wander into the jungles of psychological theory and technique. I shift my focus from global adventurer to inner world explorer.
The many hits and misses of my recovery efforts are detailed in this book. Eventually, I discover what works, and gradually move from struggling to survive to discovering how to thrive.
Very gradually I find meaning, belonging and fulfillment. My fear shrinks, my toxic shame melts away, and peace of mind becomes my touchstone. My psyche heals as my self-kindness, self-care, and self-protection continuously grow.
Eventually, I break the pattern of being attracted to painful relationships that mirror my experiences with my parents. This in turn frees me to find a number of truly intimate and comforting relationships.
"Homesteading" has two parts. In Part I, I escape from my dysfunctional family and backpack around the world seeking happiness while I unconsciously flee my suffering.
In Part II, I wander into the jungles of psychological theory and technique. I shift my focus from global adventurer to inner world explorer.
The many hits and misses of my recovery efforts are detailed in this book. Eventually, I discover what works, and gradually move from struggling to survive to discovering how to thrive.
Very gradually I find meaning, belonging and fulfillment. My fear shrinks, my toxic shame melts away, and peace of mind becomes my touchstone. My psyche heals as my self-kindness, self-care, and self-protection continuously grow.
Eventually, I break the pattern of being attracted to painful relationships that mirror my experiences with my parents. This in turn frees me to find a number of truly intimate and comforting relationships.
373 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2017
73 people are currently reading
799 people want to read
About the author
Pete Walker
14 books578 followersPete Walker is a "general practitioner" who has a private practice in Berkeley, California, in the serene Claremont Hotel neighborhood. He has been working as a counselor, lecturer, writer and group leader for thirty-five years, and as a trainer, supervisor and consultant of other therapists for 20 years.
Pete Walker is a "general practitioner" who has a private practice in the Rockridge neighborhood of the San Francisco East Bay Area. He specializes in helping adults who were traumatized in childhood, especially those whose repeated exposure to abuse and/or neglect left them with the symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [Cptsd].
source: http://www.pete-walker.com
Pete has also experienced Complex PTSD.
Pete Walker is a "general practitioner" who has a private practice in the Rockridge neighborhood of the San Francisco East Bay Area. He specializes in helping adults who were traumatized in childhood, especially those whose repeated exposure to abuse and/or neglect left them with the symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [Cptsd].
source: http://www.pete-walker.com
Pete has also experienced Complex PTSD.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
February 3, 2018
This is the third book I’ve read by Pete Walker and as a result, I feel like I could hang out with the guy. The first half of this book is an On the Road style memoir that follows Walker from New York to the Middle East to Australia to California. The guy seems to have done it all, seen it all and learned from all his experiences. He also has a system of therapy I feel I can apply in my own practice. His sense of humor is painfully corny at times but he’s such a genuine guy with such thought out, empathetic theories, it’s hard to hold it against him.
February 18, 2022
I picked up this book because I'm reading Pete Walker's CPTSD manual, which is excellent, but so mind blowing I can only take in a few pages at a time. I thought this would help me get into it laterally.
Homesteading is an interesting book, but having read many therapists' memoirs, it was a little unusual.
Walker spends only a few pages on his childhood, with exactly 3 anecdotes, and then he's off. Off to see the world, as a Vietnam war soldier, then hitchhiking like a beat poet (and then like a hippie). He goes from crossing the US to San Francisco to Morocco to Europe to Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan (where he gets arrested) to Thailand (where he gets conned by a monk) to Bali to Australia (where he lives for 10 years). He is a true die-hard 60s flower-power child, and that in itself is an interesting, already historical tale.
On the way, he reads books, gets high, learns to make friends, looks for enlightenment, adopts a dog, thrives on communal living (but not open love), learns astrology and how to fix cars, meditation, Buddhism/Hinduism, seesaws between wonder, running and depression - which all help him get closer to the core of his search - why does he feel so bad?
How should I phrase this?
This is not a literary book - things and people pop in and out of the book in a somewhat disjointed manner. You don't get developmental arcs (ironically) or the old storytelling chestnut of building tension in order to release it, thus eliciting a pleasurable feeling in the reader.
Walker does not talk about his parents or early years, so we don't really get the genesis of his issues, or their width and breadth - and thus can't really follow him with bated breath, rooting for his success. New people, issues and situations roll out in from of us as if on an escalator. It lacks a bit of a dynamic - ie, *here's a problem *hero strives * hero finds the solution!
It's all ok, though. He's not an entertainer - but also the reason I'm only giving the book 4 stars.
Walker's search is genuine, devouring and must of course turn inward, no matter how colorful his 'external' life is. Internal landscapes are more complex, twisted and opaque than backpackers' tales.
I have been on many of the paths he's taken (astrology - of course he's a Sagittarius. I'm guessing his rising is Aquarius if his busy midheaven is in Scorpio. I also have a Scorpio moon, a Water Bearer Ascendant and a Fire sun sign) (Asia - I've lived in Thailand for 9 years)(leaving the Catholic church)(therapy... Well, duh) (hippyism) etc
Because I have learned/am still learning so much from this man, because he wrote one of the 2 best books on CPTSD that exist, because he is fiercely compassionate and actually created psychological tools to help us heal, I have the utmost respect for him. I will read everything he writes. There are many gems in this one. I particularly LOVE him blasting spiritual bypassing and mandatory 'forgiveness'. He doesn't go on a deep dive to 'understand' his parents and give them 'light and compassion'. THANK YOU. He doesn't excavate their family history (which can, of course be useful for some people, btw), he remains resolutely self-focused, which is the right place to be when you are healing from a childhood like his.
This is a great read it you're into any of those following; the 60s-70s, traveling around the world, self-healing, CPTSD, and open hearted authenticity and observation.
Homesteading is an interesting book, but having read many therapists' memoirs, it was a little unusual.
Walker spends only a few pages on his childhood, with exactly 3 anecdotes, and then he's off. Off to see the world, as a Vietnam war soldier, then hitchhiking like a beat poet (and then like a hippie). He goes from crossing the US to San Francisco to Morocco to Europe to Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan (where he gets arrested) to Thailand (where he gets conned by a monk) to Bali to Australia (where he lives for 10 years). He is a true die-hard 60s flower-power child, and that in itself is an interesting, already historical tale.
On the way, he reads books, gets high, learns to make friends, looks for enlightenment, adopts a dog, thrives on communal living (but not open love), learns astrology and how to fix cars, meditation, Buddhism/Hinduism, seesaws between wonder, running and depression - which all help him get closer to the core of his search - why does he feel so bad?
How should I phrase this?
This is not a literary book - things and people pop in and out of the book in a somewhat disjointed manner. You don't get developmental arcs (ironically) or the old storytelling chestnut of building tension in order to release it, thus eliciting a pleasurable feeling in the reader.
Walker does not talk about his parents or early years, so we don't really get the genesis of his issues, or their width and breadth - and thus can't really follow him with bated breath, rooting for his success. New people, issues and situations roll out in from of us as if on an escalator. It lacks a bit of a dynamic - ie, *here's a problem *hero strives * hero finds the solution!
It's all ok, though. He's not an entertainer - but also the reason I'm only giving the book 4 stars.
Walker's search is genuine, devouring and must of course turn inward, no matter how colorful his 'external' life is. Internal landscapes are more complex, twisted and opaque than backpackers' tales.
I have been on many of the paths he's taken (astrology - of course he's a Sagittarius. I'm guessing his rising is Aquarius if his busy midheaven is in Scorpio. I also have a Scorpio moon, a Water Bearer Ascendant and a Fire sun sign) (Asia - I've lived in Thailand for 9 years)(leaving the Catholic church)(therapy... Well, duh) (hippyism) etc
Because I have learned/am still learning so much from this man, because he wrote one of the 2 best books on CPTSD that exist, because he is fiercely compassionate and actually created psychological tools to help us heal, I have the utmost respect for him. I will read everything he writes. There are many gems in this one. I particularly LOVE him blasting spiritual bypassing and mandatory 'forgiveness'. He doesn't go on a deep dive to 'understand' his parents and give them 'light and compassion'. THANK YOU. He doesn't excavate their family history (which can, of course be useful for some people, btw), he remains resolutely self-focused, which is the right place to be when you are healing from a childhood like his.
This is a great read it you're into any of those following; the 60s-70s, traveling around the world, self-healing, CPTSD, and open hearted authenticity and observation.
December 12, 2022
I am forever grateful to Pete Walker and his book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. His writing has opened the pathway to healing for many survivors, me included. However, this book, his memoir, Homesteading in the Calm Eye of the Storm, was a struggle for me to read at times. His memoir writing style doesn't resonate with me, nor does the poetry (mostly his own) that he sprinkles throughout. He and I believe in similar ideas and values, but his language style is from such a different set of experiences - think 60s and hippies - that I often found my external critic huffing indignantly at his "riffing". In a way, reading this book was a practice of noticing my external critic and acknowledging its source, and then consciously turning it down to connect with the content that resonates, beyond the writing style.
Reading his journey is helpful for me, to better understand his cyclical and decades-long healing process, alongside the things he still struggles with. It gives me a more realistic sense of recovery from CPTSD - that things will likely continue to be better than I expect as I move from surviving to thriving, but perhaps not in the way I expected. He still has some flashbacks, but he has safe and nurturing relationships in which to experience them. He continues to feel old wounds at times, but his capacity to engage with them is expansive and kind - he rarely spends time avoiding or repressing the feelings, and he gently holds space to allow them to move through more readily, namely through many mini sessions of the grieving process.
Reading his journey is helpful for me, to better understand his cyclical and decades-long healing process, alongside the things he still struggles with. It gives me a more realistic sense of recovery from CPTSD - that things will likely continue to be better than I expect as I move from surviving to thriving, but perhaps not in the way I expected. He still has some flashbacks, but he has safe and nurturing relationships in which to experience them. He continues to feel old wounds at times, but his capacity to engage with them is expansive and kind - he rarely spends time avoiding or repressing the feelings, and he gently holds space to allow them to move through more readily, namely through many mini sessions of the grieving process.
July 10, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. I was intrigued by the anecdotes that Pete shared about his life in his more famous book, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, enough so that I decided to give this book a try. This guy has really had an incredible life, and this book will take you through it all, from serving as a captain in the Korean DMZ, to Moroccan hippie communes, San Francisco in the 60s, and Pakistani prisons. He hitchhiked around most of the world, and the stories that came out of it all are amazing! Additionally, he talks about his own healing journey throughout the story. As he realizes that he has C-PTSD, he seeks many forms of help, and some work, while others are learning experiences.
I think my favorite part was the ending. It was a very hope-giving experience for me to read about the peaceful and mostly recovered place where he has landed after so much struggle, and worse childhood experiences than I ever endured. It gave me hope for myself and others who struggle with trauma from childhood.
To be honest I didn't really like the style of the writing. I found the prose and the word choices to be awkward at times, but I enjoyed the content of the book so much that it didn't really matter to me.
I think my favorite part was the ending. It was a very hope-giving experience for me to read about the peaceful and mostly recovered place where he has landed after so much struggle, and worse childhood experiences than I ever endured. It gave me hope for myself and others who struggle with trauma from childhood.
To be honest I didn't really like the style of the writing. I found the prose and the word choices to be awkward at times, but I enjoyed the content of the book so much that it didn't really matter to me.
November 15, 2020
I write these reviews primarily for myself. And the number of stars I give is a subjective score rather than an objective rating.
I struggled to finish this book. This surprised me as Pete Walker’s ‘Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving’ (CP:FSTT) was a life changing book for me.
‘Homesteading in the Calm Eye of the Storm’ is an autobiographical account of Pete Walker’s life and how his life experiences informed and shaped his thinking on Complex PTSD and its treatment. And Pete has had a very full life indeed! A Vietnam vet, hitchhiked through America like Jack Kerouac, travelled the Hippie trail through Africa and Asia, thrown in prison twice, and more.
But I was not enthralled. Two reasons I’ve identified why.
1) The author was offering his life story as an example of how to heal from CPTSD and I couldn’t relate to his healing journey. To be fair, he does tell people to read CP:FSTT first and foremost.
2) My eyes glaze over when I see poetry in a prose book. I tend to skip those bits in Tolkien, and Pete Walker interweaves a lot of his poetry.
So to reiterate: If you’re looking for guidance on how to cope with CPTSD, then read CP:FSTT. I’ve read it twice, gaining much benefit from doing so. But I’m afraid this book is going to the Kindle equivalent of the charity shop.
I struggled to finish this book. This surprised me as Pete Walker’s ‘Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving’ (CP:FSTT) was a life changing book for me.
‘Homesteading in the Calm Eye of the Storm’ is an autobiographical account of Pete Walker’s life and how his life experiences informed and shaped his thinking on Complex PTSD and its treatment. And Pete has had a very full life indeed! A Vietnam vet, hitchhiked through America like Jack Kerouac, travelled the Hippie trail through Africa and Asia, thrown in prison twice, and more.
But I was not enthralled. Two reasons I’ve identified why.
1) The author was offering his life story as an example of how to heal from CPTSD and I couldn’t relate to his healing journey. To be fair, he does tell people to read CP:FSTT first and foremost.
2) My eyes glaze over when I see poetry in a prose book. I tend to skip those bits in Tolkien, and Pete Walker interweaves a lot of his poetry.
So to reiterate: If you’re looking for guidance on how to cope with CPTSD, then read CP:FSTT. I’ve read it twice, gaining much benefit from doing so. But I’m afraid this book is going to the Kindle equivalent of the charity shop.
October 20, 2023
Outstanding
I first read Pete Walkers CPTSD book - which kickstarted me taking some vital steps in my own recovery. This memoir - I could not read fast enough - I devoured page after page after page. His way of articulating the complexity and insidious nature of CPTSD is unlike any other I have read. I feel so SEEN and understood by a complete stranger, like I have less shame about my own experience, knowing these symptoms are COMMON amongst those who grew up in disruptive family homes with toxic parents. I’m so grateful for Pete’s writing. His exercises and suggestions as well for how to overcome CPTSD have been so helpful. Including learning to recognize my chronic compulsion and busyness as escapism from feeling - a sort of flight mode. I plan to read the Tao of Fully Feeling next. Thank you Pete
I first read Pete Walkers CPTSD book - which kickstarted me taking some vital steps in my own recovery. This memoir - I could not read fast enough - I devoured page after page after page. His way of articulating the complexity and insidious nature of CPTSD is unlike any other I have read. I feel so SEEN and understood by a complete stranger, like I have less shame about my own experience, knowing these symptoms are COMMON amongst those who grew up in disruptive family homes with toxic parents. I’m so grateful for Pete’s writing. His exercises and suggestions as well for how to overcome CPTSD have been so helpful. Including learning to recognize my chronic compulsion and busyness as escapism from feeling - a sort of flight mode. I plan to read the Tao of Fully Feeling next. Thank you Pete
April 19, 2020
Insightful
I’ve now read all three books by Pete Walker. After reading ‘The Tao of fully feeling’ and ‘Complex PTSD’, I really wanted to devour everything by him. I was tempted to go straight to part 2 of this book when I first started and I’m glad I did not. It’s a funny, insightful, healing, reflective book. I now feel Pete is my loving friend/father/brother on the page and I will visit him time and time again. I have the audio and kindle versions of the 2 other books, I’m only saddened that there is no audio to accompany this one 🤗
I’ve now read all three books by Pete Walker. After reading ‘The Tao of fully feeling’ and ‘Complex PTSD’, I really wanted to devour everything by him. I was tempted to go straight to part 2 of this book when I first started and I’m glad I did not. It’s a funny, insightful, healing, reflective book. I now feel Pete is my loving friend/father/brother on the page and I will visit him time and time again. I have the audio and kindle versions of the 2 other books, I’m only saddened that there is no audio to accompany this one 🤗
July 6, 2023
A unique and helpful book. I can't praise this book enough for how it helped me to understand how childhood neglect, "even just" emotional neglect can have a real and lasting impact on a person. Pete Walker is one of few professional therapists out there who was both brave enough to write a "close to the bone" memoir, and also articulate enough with language to get at the heart of why apparently "normal" childhoods can contain significant trauma to the developing child, enough to result in the grown person feeling maimed, incomplete, restless, wrong, ashamed of themselves for no "apparent" reason. And then, what does one do about that? Walker writes so vividly about his own quest to understand and heal from his CPTSD that you will feel you have lived it with him.
June 26, 2023
This was a really good read.
He tells his story of travelling the world basically trying to find himself. Scary the places he went and on what seemed like very little money.
Not surprised he ultimately ended up in northern California (San Fran/Berkeley) with him admittedly being a hippie.
I feel that a therapist, as does he, that unless you can truly relate to a patient, you really can't help. He's been through his share and can relate with his patients.
Interesting that he says that therapists usually have messed up pasts. But, as I said, this is how they are able to help their patients.
This book might not be for everyone, but I sure enjoyed it.
He tells his story of travelling the world basically trying to find himself. Scary the places he went and on what seemed like very little money.
Not surprised he ultimately ended up in northern California (San Fran/Berkeley) with him admittedly being a hippie.
I feel that a therapist, as does he, that unless you can truly relate to a patient, you really can't help. He's been through his share and can relate with his patients.
Interesting that he says that therapists usually have messed up pasts. But, as I said, this is how they are able to help their patients.
This book might not be for everyone, but I sure enjoyed it.
February 14, 2020
A Healing Read
I've been a big fan of Pete Walker since I first read CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, and Homesteading carries on the legacy of Pete's work as a survivor/healer. Pete provides a raw, honest telling of his life story, which provides clear, concrete exposition of his own personal growth, healing and development as a therapist. I was so happy to know Pete and his journey, and relate it to my own, and am so glad to have picked up insights and awareness from his own experience. This is a must read for CPTSD survivors and therapists alike.
I've been a big fan of Pete Walker since I first read CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, and Homesteading carries on the legacy of Pete's work as a survivor/healer. Pete provides a raw, honest telling of his life story, which provides clear, concrete exposition of his own personal growth, healing and development as a therapist. I was so happy to know Pete and his journey, and relate it to my own, and am so glad to have picked up insights and awareness from his own experience. This is a must read for CPTSD survivors and therapists alike.
September 24, 2023
Pete Walker is a therapist who specializes in Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) and has a keen understanding because of his experiences with severe childhood trauma. This, unlike "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving," is his personal story. Both books are must-reads, in my opinion.
August 31, 2024
So slow i could not continue ready , at least this is a personal opinion!
September 3, 2023
An accessible look at complex PTSD. The author tells us his life story to teach us about the impact of childhood trauma. A page-turner for me. The guy is cool.
May 5, 2021
I appreciate Mr. Walker's openness in sharing his own travails. Lends credibility to his other work.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews