100 Demon Dialogues

by Lucy Bellwood

Navigating the rocky shores of self doubt with charm and honesty, 100 Demon Dialogues is a collection of comics for anyone who wants to talk back to the little voice in their head that says “You’re no good.”

Cartoonist Lucy Bellwood is beset by a tiny, petulant demon who embodies workaholism, imposter syndrome, and fear of missing out. Fed up with its constant nagging, she sets out to defang and humanize her inner critic in a series of conversational comics. From overcoming self-doubt to prioritizing self-care, Bellwood and her demon embody a hilarious and relatable partnership that will resonate with people from all walks of life.

100 Demon Dialogues reminds us that we are not alone in our fear, and that our best self always comes hand-in-hand with a little demon of our own.

Genres: Comics, Graphic Novels, Nonfiction, Graphic Novels Comics, Humor, Mental Health, Memoir

144 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 19, 2017

About the author

Lucy Bellwood is a professional Adventure Cartoonist based in Portland, Oregon. Her comics projects have covered a range of expeditions, including rafting trips through the Grand Canyon, cutting-edge oceanography in the Pacific, and an expedition aboard the last wooden whaling ship in the world.

She is the author and illustrator of Baggywrinkles: a Lubber’s Guide to Life at Sea, an educational, autobiographical account of the worlds of modern and historical tall ship sailing, drawn from her time working aboard 18th-century replica tall ships. Her second graphic novel, 100 Demon Dialogues, explores the relationship between creators and their imposter syndrome through a series of relatable conversations with her inner critic.

Lucy contributes comics journalism work on climate change, gender, and history to The Nib and all-ages fantasy stories to Cartozia Tales. She also speaks extensively about the realities of making a living as a full-time artist through essays, conference talks, and podcast appearances.

Reviews

[Dave Schaafsma · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like this, don't get me wrong, but I just didn't love it as much as most reviewers, I see at a glance. Features a little cute but negative demon who actually speaks all the things to Lucy Bellwood that undermine her self-esteem and confidence, but instead instills in her self-douby, inhibition, distraction, anxiety. In each cartoon (and there are 100! Surprise!) she speaks back to the demon, and thus we understand the Dialogues of the title.

Reminded me of lots of also useful self-help comics, and maybe especially Lynda Barry’s similar One Hundred Demons.

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a delightful book. After I read it, my 10 year old consumed it cover to cover right away. When she finished, she looked up and said, "I know that feeling! I had no idea everyone else had the same thing." How amazing is that?

[David Pickett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anxiety has never been so adorable 😈

[Maia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel honored to have been following Lucy Bellwood's demon dialogues online since the very beginning. The pieces from her very first inktober challenges are just as sharp and insightful as the later pieces written during the 100 days project. It's very cool to see how her art developed into the finished style she choose for the bulk of the book. Everyone, but especially creative people, struggle with these same type of demon voices: mine tell me that I haven't done enough, no matter how much I do. Case in point, when I got home from Lucy's book release party at 10pm instead of lying in bed and re-reading the book as I should have I sat down at my computer to write three blog posts and answer emails. Was that an instance of me caving to my demon? Or an instance of using my demon's nudging to be productive? What Lucy's book tells us is that both can be true at the same time. The demon is trying to help, but its actions are frantic, sometimes pushing us too hard, at other times holding us back. We can't banish this demon- we must learn to live with it instead. Lucy's book offers a compassionate guide to successful demon co-habitation.

[Maggie Gordon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I meandered through TCAF this year, my eyes got caught on the cover of this little book. There was an adorable silver demon-looking creature, so I stopped to flip through the book. It was all about the little voice in your head that likes to undermine your self-esteem and thwart your attempts at taking control of your life. It was intensely relateable. After a chat with Bellwood about how many people responded to this book's existence with the realisation that they were not alone, I knew I had to take a copy home with me. Sure, the images are simple (though Bellwood is an excellent cartoonist), but they speak to a very common feelings. I enjoyed seeing Bellwood contend with her demon, sometimes having a good comeback, but sometimes not. It was a very real, personal exploration of mental health with a wonderfully positive, though not ableist approach. Definitely a favourite of mine (along with the matching plushy!)

[Steve Stivaktis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd followed the adventures of that little demon on Instagram and Twitter, but its story all together excited and moved me even more than I thought possible. It's an extremely universal experience when it comes to artists (should I worry about my own little jellyfish-shaped demon who's been torturing me since 2012 and who's not nearly as easy to defeat? no? I'll stop) and it's being presented in the best possible way.

What are you doing? Stop reading my review and go get it. Like right now. You'll laugh, you'll suffer, you'll probably cry. What more do you need?

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect examination of the imperfections that drive us.

[Jillian Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lucy's vulnerable moments touched me in a way I didn't expect. I think there's something universal about the demon who plagues us and plays upon our doubts. This book changed the way I think about my own demon(s), and it encouraged me to see these interactions and moments of fear and doubt as a way to grow instead of just a crippling weight to bear.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely little tome that's very fitting for me to read as The 100 Day Project is upon us soon! Bellwood invites us in and shares vulnerability that really resonates. We all have that same demon of self-doubt and pressure, and it's so nice to see her befriend and channel it by the end.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saved this for Halloween - because demons - but it is not really like that ?(which I knew).

Instead it is about that voice inside your head that doubts you and discourages you and berates you. Instead of only arguing with the voice (though that happens sometimes), you can also joke with the voice, reassure the voice, and build on it. Very encouraging and inspiring

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just what I needed after an emotionally trying day. It was a nice reminder that we all have our battles we are fighting each day.

[Emma Bourne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great visual representation of that annoying inner voice we sometimes have, some pages made me laugh, some were very relatable!

[Amy! · Rating 4 out of 5]

My review is at StoryGraph

[JK Gagnon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just wonderful. The author was very vulnerable, expressing their self-doubts over 100 different comics. Even though this book is about the artist’s self-doubts it’s super relatable and comforting. I would recommend this book for anyone who has experienced wanting to tell their inner little self doubt demons to frig off.

[Katie McMahon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't coherently write how much this book means to me, how much it validates my experiences, and how encouraged I feel every time I crack it open. A person's inner demon can be a horrible thing to live with, but Lucy Bellwood has developed a relationship with hers that is more akin to squabbling siblings who actually care for each other very much. This book has made my own anxieties and fears and self-doubt easier to bear, and I am slowly learning to treat my inner demon like an obnoxious, overbearing, but lovable friend.

[Sarth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down one of my favourite books about self-doubt and imposter syndrome I’ve ever encountered. Lucy has a delightful voice and her illustrations give each panel so much life and emotion. The transition the book makes near the end was really touching and has stuck with me. If you’ve ever thought about the voice that tells you you’re not good enough and wanted to better understand how to manage that this book is a great place to start.

[Liam Whitworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an honest and thought-provoking look at the worst voices inside our heads, and how we can deal with them. As an artist, I needed this book so badly. Thank you, Lucy, for taking the time to make this important work. I recommend this book to anyone who is struggling on their creative journey.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first discovered Lucy Bellwood in an interview she did on the Feminist Frequency podcast. She discussed her work and particularly 100 Demon Dialogues, and I immediately knew I had to read it. Luckily, I was gifted this book for Christmas and tore into after Christmas dinner.

I loved 100 Demon Dialogues. I absolutely loved it. In case you don't know, this book came from Bellwood drawing conversations she would have with that mean voice inside your head, your inner demon, every day for 100 days. Bellwood gets so many things right here: how creativity can be hard, what it's like to have anxiety, how you have to work through it... I found her experience to be so relatable and authentic, and I love that she was this vulnerable with her audience.

However, what I love most about 100 Demon Dialogues is its depiction of the demon: a tiny, sort of cute little black creature. Sometimes, the demon is mean. It taunts Bellwood that she isn't as talented as others, that her work doesn't matter. Sometimes, the demon is sad. It is worn out about the world, and it is frightened. The demon does hurt Bellwood, but it also worries about her. It wants her to take a break when she's overworked and tries to protect her from failure and disappointment. I love how Bellwood does interact with the demon because it is not enough to just ignore it. You have to respond to your demons, your anxieties, take them into consideration, and then do what is best for you regardless. The ending is particularly beautiful, and I was caught by surprise at how it all came together.

If y0u struggle with anxiety, with that mean voice inside your head, or with being a creative person, you have to read 100 Demon Dialogues. There has never been a comic lovelier or better for your mental health.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book jumped out at me as I was perusing booths at MICE this past weekend. I open to a random page and there is our artist-avatar taking the first whack at a huge block of marble with a little demon lounging in a nearby chair - "If you can't finish this in one shot, you shouldn't start."

Shit. How the hell did my jerk brain manifest itself on this random comics page?

I try another page.

Now the demon screaming about how there's just so much and how the author can't fix it all and nothing will every be right again. Our author-avatar has the little demon held up on her shoulder like a melting-down toddler and says "I get it, you are tired. Lets go take a nap."

Hey now! Don't go treating that little shit well. It doesn't deserve sympathy. It's the bane of my existence. It makes me so angry, and so frustrated and frozen in indecision and scared and I can't get rid of it because it is ultimately still me.

Dang.

Looks like I'm buying this book, huh?

Well get in line, because there are a bunch more people doing the same thing - some are even buying the little plush demon to go with it - to either hurl against the wall or pat on the head.

Because of the personal nature of the dialogues this book if aimed specifically at creatives - authors, artists, all you people going out and making new amazing things in the world, especially in an unstable gig-economy world (which is not new to many creatives). But even if a few pages missed the mark in my head by a bit, the ones that hit home did so disturbingly well.

Thank you Lucy, for sharing.

[Alexandra Cross · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm came across Lucy's Tumblr kind of by accident. I was drawn to a video she had posted looking out to the waves through a porthole window of a boat. I had no idea it would lead me to find one of the most therapeutic and relatable series I've ever read.

As a freelance photographer, I am constantly experiencing this self doubt and endless guilt for not doing enough, being creative enough, choosing the right path, pushing myself hard enough...etc. It's been so refreshing for me to see Lucy not only go through this as well, but her healthy and helpful responses to her demon.

This book won't be a coffee table book, it's going to be right on my desk. (I need it for when I'm questioning myself, which is a lot lately). I am so pleased that I found Lucy's artwork and I am even more grateful for her openness and honesty - feels good to know I'm not alone with these feelings!

Two additional comments:

1. I love love love the long limbs on the demon, it's hilarious.

2. My favorite and most relatable comics are 3, 5, 8, 11, 13, 36, 37, 39, 51, 61, 66, 72, 73, 91, 92, and 94.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun comic about Lucy Bellwood inner demon anxiety. This comic is a collection of webcomics from her 100 Day Project, where you create something everyday. Bellwood takes a very personal look at herself and makes a comic that is introspective and truthful. The raw truthfulness of this book makes it amazing and turn paging. We can all relate to the demon in her comic. We have demons like this telling us we can’t be great, but maybe we can. Bellwood address how we have to find balance and acceptance of our demons. They are part of us.

Lucy Bellwood has a beautiful artist style. A slight cartoonish realism that pops off the pages. This book is a joy to look at and read. If you’re an aspiring comic artist this comic will make you feel better and a little jealous at the same time. Go on give this comic a read.

[holly rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a cute little comic book, and I really admire the author’s dedication! I found it very relatable; we all struggle with self-doubt and negative feelings at times, but I love how she stresses that in order to combat those thoughts, we have to address them and not just ignore them. If we are actively talking back and telling that voice what’s actually true, it’s much easier to manage and even get rid of completely. I don’t know if I would agree with the image of totally embracing that inner demon, though, but if it’s symbolizing our inner critic, and showing that we all have one, I agree it can be healthy to acknowledge and let it hone us, but not overtake us. Not sure a demon is a particularly good choice for that, though, since demons are very real and different in that sense. But overall, I thought it was a brilliant book and very prevalent.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I followed along as Lucy put these comics out into the world and it is really something to find my own feelings, fears and thoughts coming out in her conversations with this little imp! Her playful interactions with this demon address the idea of imposter syndrome which every creative person I've ever met deals with in some way.

Love the book, and can't recommend the hard cover enough- it has beautiful silver foil and a ribbon bookmark! Also, you should know that my 10 and 13 year old kids love the book and blew through it one sitting each asking if there's more!

[micathemineral · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was already a fan of Lucy Bellwood for her nautical art and comics, but I was delighted by her branching out into relatable self-reflection in this collection of short comics! Lucy has allowed herself to be tremendously vulnerable in this book but, at the same time, wryly funny.

I'd recommend 100 Demon Dialogues for any creative person who struggles with self-doubt- you'll surely see yourself in these pages and they might help you to find a reply to your own demons, too.

[Jeremy Joseph · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gloriously funny, vulnerable and honest book about the bad voices we all hear in our heads about ourselves, louder for some than others.
It's adorable and sweet and hopeful and worth a read by anyone. My teenage daughter got a kick out of reading it and it's helped reaffirm what I've been telling her: you're not alone in these feelings, they are not the end of you, just a beginning of a positive conversation with yourself.

[Keith Schnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a complex book, but it's one that resonates very strongly. Whether you're an artist or just engaged in some other project that requires self-motivation and inspiration, you've been plagued by the doubts and self-questioning that Lucy Bellwood personifies with her little demon character. It's always a reassuring morale boost to see them articulated, and to be able to commiserate with the author. Strongly recommended.

[Eli · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent read for creators and doers of all sorts. This series of 100 conversations between Bellwood and her "demon"--the inner critic who tells her she'll never be good enough, productive enough, loved enough, ANYTHING enough--range from the amusing to the heartbreaking and will be all too familiar to anyone who's ever dealt with doubt in their creative endeavors.

[Rob McMonigal · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friend Lucy took a drawings during October idea and expanded it into this awesome book, which allows her to speak frankly to the reader about her own insecurities. It's cute on the surface, but the deeper meaning is where things really shine. In today's atmosphere, a book like this is essential for those of us with a lot of self-doubt.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This such a wonderful book. It's adorable, infinitely relatable, vulnerable, and all-around delightful. The art is absolutely fabulous and evocative. Buy it. Read it. Start referring to the annoying voice in your head that criticizes you constantly as "that little jerk."

[Rose Del Vecchio · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love using the Demon Dialogues in my work in wellness. It's a really great visual representation of the struggles of talking to yourself and being critical of your own work. I appreciate that Lucy has put so much time and effort into this project, and bringing it into the world!