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Netherfield
A Pride and Prejudice variation, for part of the story
In the 1995 BBC version of Pride and Prejudice there is supposed to be a note in the script about when Elizabeth Bennett arrives in Netherfield, and when Fitzwilliam Darcy meets her, after some words, Fitzwilliam notices that he has an erection, and realizes that he feels an attraction, animal at least, with this woman. In this short story, I imagine this meeting, and the times around it. This story is not for children, although, I think, many children now know enough about life as adults, thanks to the internet.
In the 1995 BBC version of Pride and Prejudice there is supposed to be a note in the script about when Elizabeth Bennett arrives in Netherfield, and when Fitzwilliam Darcy meets her, after some words, Fitzwilliam notices that he has an erection, and realizes that he feels an attraction, animal at least, with this woman. In this short story, I imagine this meeting, and the times around it. This story is not for children, although, I think, many children now know enough about life as adults, thanks to the internet.
20 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 21, 2017
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January 21, 2019
Zero stars
Very, very, VERY poorly written. Horrible grammar and sentence structure, incorrectly capitalized words. Double punctuation after every question (?.) None of the dialogue is identified with proper punctuation.
Just wacky stuff presented in this:
"Caroline had her best man catching outfit on, one could almost see her navel, but in spite of her allowing Fitzwilliam a view several times on the way, she still was not sure he was her man for the dancing." (I had no idea regency fashion was quite so risque.)
"Fitzwilliam had not bothered meeting these people, instead had rode [sic] and walked the area, and noticed how he was watched by various people for their various reasons, but the outright thieves had also seen that he was well provided for self-protection, how he still carried a sword, in spite of that becoming unfashionable." (Referring to Darcy not the Colonel.)
"Fuzzify the picture, and one could see which local girls had much to recommend them, and those who had little but who men danced with to be polite. The Bennett sisters were in this category..." (A few references about how the men probably only danced with the Bennets to be polite which was weird. Yet, Charlotte was "attractive, but the years were starting to show.")
Darcy refers to Bingley as a commoner.
Charlotte asks Darcy, while dancing at the first assembly, if he has visited a brothel. She also propositions him.
"In the battle in Darcy's mind about who he might marry, that section of the battle line that considered on sexual attraction, collapsed, and the troops went home, as he followed her rear view. When men were a species of monkey on the plains of Africa, the females rear view was what had kept them breeding and battling nature." (Darcy as Elizabeth walks in front of him as she's making her way to Netherfield to care for Jane.)
There's just so much wrong with this it's not sporting to list more. I will apply a review equivalent of a mercy rule. I actually kind of hope it's a joke, somebody seeing how badly they can write JAFF otherwise it's just embarrassing.
Very, very, VERY poorly written. Horrible grammar and sentence structure, incorrectly capitalized words. Double punctuation after every question (?.) None of the dialogue is identified with proper punctuation.
Just wacky stuff presented in this:
"Caroline had her best man catching outfit on, one could almost see her navel, but in spite of her allowing Fitzwilliam a view several times on the way, she still was not sure he was her man for the dancing." (I had no idea regency fashion was quite so risque.)
"Fitzwilliam had not bothered meeting these people, instead had rode [sic] and walked the area, and noticed how he was watched by various people for their various reasons, but the outright thieves had also seen that he was well provided for self-protection, how he still carried a sword, in spite of that becoming unfashionable." (Referring to Darcy not the Colonel.)
"Fuzzify the picture, and one could see which local girls had much to recommend them, and those who had little but who men danced with to be polite. The Bennett sisters were in this category..." (A few references about how the men probably only danced with the Bennets to be polite which was weird. Yet, Charlotte was "attractive, but the years were starting to show.")
Darcy refers to Bingley as a commoner.
Charlotte asks Darcy, while dancing at the first assembly, if he has visited a brothel. She also propositions him.
"In the battle in Darcy's mind about who he might marry, that section of the battle line that considered on sexual attraction, collapsed, and the troops went home, as he followed her rear view. When men were a species of monkey on the plains of Africa, the females rear view was what had kept them breeding and battling nature." (Darcy as Elizabeth walks in front of him as she's making her way to Netherfield to care for Jane.)
There's just so much wrong with this it's not sporting to list more. I will apply a review equivalent of a mercy rule. I actually kind of hope it's a joke, somebody seeing how badly they can write JAFF otherwise it's just embarrassing.
Displaying 1 of 1 review