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Alone: The Badass Psychology of People Who Like Being Alone
When Bella DePaulo published “The badass personalities of people who like being alone” at her “Living Single” blog at Psychology Today, it was an instant hit. “Alone” is a collection of more than 60 of Dr. DePaulo’s writings on people who like their time alone. The articles were first published at the Washington Post, Psych Central, and Psychology Today.
The 8 sections of “Alone” are:
I. The True Meanings of Alone, Loner, and Lonely
II. Why People Who Like Being Alone Are Badasses
III. The Positive Psychology of Solitude: What’s So Great About Being Alone
IV. Time Alone: Craving It More Than Ever
V. Alone in Public: Dining Alone, Traveling Alone, Alone in a Crowd
VI. The Demographic Trend Sweeping the World: Living Alone
VII. How People Will Try to Scare You About Being Alone – and Why You Should Blow Them Off
VIII. Keep on Reading: Insights from Great Books on Solitude
Dr. Bella DePaulo, a Harvard PhD, has been described by Atlantic magazine as “America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.” “Alone” is her 20th book. About those people who like living alone: readers of “Alone” will never think about them the same way again.
The 8 sections of “Alone” are:
I. The True Meanings of Alone, Loner, and Lonely
II. Why People Who Like Being Alone Are Badasses
III. The Positive Psychology of Solitude: What’s So Great About Being Alone
IV. Time Alone: Craving It More Than Ever
V. Alone in Public: Dining Alone, Traveling Alone, Alone in a Crowd
VI. The Demographic Trend Sweeping the World: Living Alone
VII. How People Will Try to Scare You About Being Alone – and Why You Should Blow Them Off
VIII. Keep on Reading: Insights from Great Books on Solitude
Dr. Bella DePaulo, a Harvard PhD, has been described by Atlantic magazine as “America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.” “Alone” is her 20th book. About those people who like living alone: readers of “Alone” will never think about them the same way again.
- GenresPsychologyNonfiction
202 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 21, 2017
101 people are currently reading
304 people want to read
About the author
Bella DePaulo
24 books88 followersI’m Bella DePaulo. I’m proud to say that I’ve always been single and I always will be.
• “Single at heart” is my term for people who love being single – single life is our most meaningful, fulfilling, authentic, and psychologically rich life. My latest book, “Single at Heart,” is all about that.
• The Atlantic magazine described me as “America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.”
• My TEDx talk, “What no one ever told you about people who are single,” has been viewed more than 1.6 million times.
• My 1st book about singles was Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After (St. Martin’s)
• I’m a social psychologist, a Harvard PhD with more than 150 scholarly publications. My 2023 article, "Single and flourishing: Transcending the deficit narratives of single life," was published in an academic journal but I wrote it in an engaging and jargon-free way so you don’t have to be an academic to enjoy it.
• I have bylines in the New York Times, the Washington Post, New York magazine, the Atlantic, Time magazine, the Guardian, the Chronicle of Higher Education, NBC, CNN, and many more.
• My work on single people has been described in many publications in the US and around the world, including, for example, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, Time magazine, the Atlantic, the Economist, the Week, the Nation, Business Week, AARP Magazine, Newsweek, and the TED Ideas Blog.
• I have been writing the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today since 2008.
• I have been on NPR many times, as well as many other podcasts and radio shows.
• In 2022, I discussed single people with Maria Shriver on the Today show.
You can learn more about me at my website, www.BellaDePaulo.com.
• “Single at heart” is my term for people who love being single – single life is our most meaningful, fulfilling, authentic, and psychologically rich life. My latest book, “Single at Heart,” is all about that.
• The Atlantic magazine described me as “America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.”
• My TEDx talk, “What no one ever told you about people who are single,” has been viewed more than 1.6 million times.
• My 1st book about singles was Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After (St. Martin’s)
• I’m a social psychologist, a Harvard PhD with more than 150 scholarly publications. My 2023 article, "Single and flourishing: Transcending the deficit narratives of single life," was published in an academic journal but I wrote it in an engaging and jargon-free way so you don’t have to be an academic to enjoy it.
• I have bylines in the New York Times, the Washington Post, New York magazine, the Atlantic, Time magazine, the Guardian, the Chronicle of Higher Education, NBC, CNN, and many more.
• My work on single people has been described in many publications in the US and around the world, including, for example, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, New York magazine, Time magazine, the Atlantic, the Economist, the Week, the Nation, Business Week, AARP Magazine, Newsweek, and the TED Ideas Blog.
• I have been writing the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today since 2008.
• I have been on NPR many times, as well as many other podcasts and radio shows.
• In 2022, I discussed single people with Maria Shriver on the Today show.
You can learn more about me at my website, www.BellaDePaulo.com.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 21, 2020
I give it a 4.99 because of all the spelling and grammatical errors I found and it’s not a proof copy.
I’ve been reading Bella DePaulo’s articles at Psychology Today for years and have wanted to read this book since I read her book “Singlism”.
Because of the COVID-19 pandemic mandatory quarantining, I learned that I am much more of a loner than I thought. So it was the perfect time to be reading this book. Reading this book during these self-isolating and physical-distancing times has reinforced my intense gratitude that I am able to live alone. A balm for my loner soul every day!
I’ve been reading Bella DePaulo’s articles at Psychology Today for years and have wanted to read this book since I read her book “Singlism”.
Because of the COVID-19 pandemic mandatory quarantining, I learned that I am much more of a loner than I thought. So it was the perfect time to be reading this book. Reading this book during these self-isolating and physical-distancing times has reinforced my intense gratitude that I am able to live alone. A balm for my loner soul every day!
November 18, 2018
Good representation of the Genuine meaning of being alone but not necessarily lonely..
November 30, 2024
any book about alternative relationships or lifestyle choices and challenging the dominant social status quo is a big yes from me! i really love the exploration of singledom, living alone, solitude, etc., especially when amatonormativity (not actually named) was discussed and challenged. the author really prioritized drawing from existing books and research, which makes this collection a handy dandy little resource, particularly when it comes to debunking claims about being single or alone. that said, because this is a collection of various writings of the author’s and not one cohesive work, some facts, quotes, talking points, and sometimes entire paragraphs showed up in more than one piece and it got a bit repetitive.
a few notes before i share some quotes i liked:
i don’t care much for the discussion about being alone with your thoughts, for two reasons. one being the author’s definition of “alone with your thoughts,” which is being able to or enjoying doing nothing (literally—no music, tv, phone, people, activities, etc.) and just thinking. by that definition, i would not be someone who enjoys being alone with my own thoughts, but only because i find not doing anything a waste of time. but when i’m doing mindless things, such as cooking, cleaning, showering, etc., i don’t always have something else going on to occupy my mind (like a tv show, youtube video, music, podcast, audiobook, etc.), sometimes i enjoy having full on monologues about whatever pops into my head. but since i’m doing something in those scenarios, the author doesn’t count that as “being alone with my thoughts.” plenty of people “fill the silence” because catching up on that tv show while cleaning or listening to a podcast or audiobook while cooking is a more efficient use of their time, or listen to music while answering emails or showering because they’re just in the mood. as the author stated elsewhere in the book, we don’t need to pathologize a preference. the second reason is that i don’t think whether or not someone enjoys being alone with their thoughts has anything to do whether or not they enjoy being alone. there are plenty of people who don’t like when their mind isn’t occupied in some manner because they have a mental illness (such as depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, ocd, etc.) that can make it very easy to fall into potentially dangerous thought spirals. not taking that into consideration feels like a huge oversight.
the author criticized “best things about living alone” lists because they weren’t “profound” enough for the author’s liking and didn’t showcase the “real rewards of solo living for those who really mean it about wanting to live alone.” but who are you to decide they “don’t mean it” and what a “real reward” is? arguing if the main reasons you like to live alone is that you can do whatever you want without being hindered or judged by other people (not wearing pants, not having to wait for the bathroom, not worrying about waking others, not dealing with food theft, etc.) then “maybe you are not that serious” about living alone is kind of really pretentious. it’s one thing if you take your singledom and alone-ness very seriously and are passionate about it, that’s fine and not pretentious, but it’s a problem for me when you judge other single/alone people for “not doing it right.” not everyone has to turn that into a “single at heart” identity to be coveted. sometimes wanting to live alone is as simple as being able to have things the way you want them and do things the way you want to and live by your own timetable, and that includes the “trivial” matters, such as having your tv as loud as you want it. acting as if when the choice to live alone doesn’t come from a deep seeded innate desire to just be with oneself because that is the only way you will truly ever be fulfilled and the only way you can truly “think with your whole mind and feel with your whole heart” is just gatekeeping an experience when it’s really not that deep for everyone, nor does it need to be. it’s very “those people might live alone, but they don’t do it like me. those people might be single, but they don’t do it like me” and it’s kind of gross, honestly. what does putting down others who are in the same boat as you accomplish?
the author said “there are people who conform to the stereotype of the sad, lonely, and isolated person living alone” and i just don’t think being sad, lonely, and isolated are automatically a choice someone is making, which is implied by the use of the word “conform.” people don’t choose to be sad or lonely and isolation can also happen outside of people’s control. i understand the author wanted to shed light on the positives and benefits of living alone/being single, but i wish there had been less judgement of those who are living alone/single and are unhappy with it or negatively affected by it, as if they’re maliciously choosing to further the stigmatization of living alone and being single.
now, some quotes:
“why is it that sociability is considered a skill, whereas the ability to be alone is seen as weird?”
“on the average, though, single people are more connected to other people than married people are. i’ve written often about how single people have more friends, do more to maintain their ties with siblings and parents and friends and neighbors, do more to participate in the life of their cities and towns, and do more than their share of caring for aging parents and others who need help. in contrast, when couples move in together or get married, they tend to become more insular. that happens even if they don’t have children.”
“anneli rufus says that a loner is someone who prefers to be alone, so that’s her central basic definition and she thinks that when we call these serial killers ‘loners’ and we affix that kind of dark, menacing meaning to loner, we’re distorting the true meaning of loner.”
“[are you suggesting that by stereotyping, stigmatizing and ignoring singles that society could be amplifying feelings of loneliness?] yes, it is, and ironically, what it could also be doing is pushing people to marry who really don’t feel like it’s right for them and what happens then is you have people who end up lonelier than they would have been because they’re marrying because they think they should marry, because they think it’s the only legitimate, respected, celebrated option and so then they end up with what is probably the most painful kind of loneliness; the loneliness you experience when there is someone lying there right beside you.”
“the opposite of loneliness is jomo—the joy of missing out. for me, that’s when i’m so delighted not to feel obligated to participate in social events that don’t interest me. i stay home and revel in my solitude, or pursue the social engagements that really do engage me.”
“despite all that is good and affirming about people who are unafraid of being single, they cannot expect to be celebrated or even respected by other people. people who like being single, who choose to be single, are threatening cherished worldviews about what people should want and how they should feel. other people evaluate them more harshly than single people who wish they were coupled—even expressing more anger toward them.”
“craving time on your own is so rarely acknowledged or appreciated in our cultural conversations, because matrimania is rampant, and because wanting to be in romantic relationships is portrayed as normal and maybe even inevitable, it is difficult for people who love their solitude to own that. too many of them are wondering whether they don’t really like their time alone, they just haven’t met the right person. or maybe they have internalized the cultural narrative that if they are not goo-goo over romance and coupling, there’s something wrong with them. so i’m not sure how many people who really do love their solitude more than they love romantic relationships would say so to a researcher—or even to themselves.”
“my biggest objection, though, is with something else warwick says about people who are perfectly happy with solitude: ‘their focus is satisfying their needs, and their needs only.’ but think about people who really need to be with other people. when they spend time with other people, they are satisfying their own need to do so. are they fulfilling someone else’s similar need in the process? most likely. but i don’t think that counts as something for which they deserve extra credit. if the other person isn’t fulfilling their needs, they will probably flee. (unless they stay because they are scared of being alone.) and i think that means that what they are doing really is about their needs, and their needs only.”
“i said i’m not against marriage or coupling. but i am against compulsory coupling. i’m against the stigmatizing of those who are not coupled, whether by choice or by happenstance. one way to stop the stigma is to stop playing along with the game. if there is not someone you really want to be with over the holidays, then go to all those parties on your own. (of course, i think party invitations should include friends, but that's a different topic.) even if you do wish you were coupled and it is hard to walk in uncoupled, do it and feel proud. embrace and enjoy your inner smug singlehood.”
“the theme that resonates most with me is the argument that other people can be distracting and taxing. i’m not talking specifically about being with people who are annoying and demanding. instead, the idea is that just having other people around—even wonderful other people—can sap some of your cognitive and emotional resources. you might, even at some very low level, use up some of your psychological energy wondering about their needs and concerns, or considering the impression you may be making on them (even if you are not insecure about that), or maybe even just sensing their presence when you are sharing the same space and not even conversing.”
“i’ve heard from other people that they have had similar experiences. they, too, feel very badly about telling people whose company they like a lot that there are times when they don’t want their company, not even to do fun things. too bad we end up feeling badly about wanting time to ourselves. maybe if we talk more often and more openly about our preferences, things will begin to change. the people who get rebuffed will know that they shouldn’t take it personally, and the people who do the rebuffing won’t feel guilty.”
“whoopi also wants you to understand those romantic songs and movies and even many commercials for what they are—fantasies and mythologies, not real life. ‘we think these movies give us hope,’ she cautions, ‘but in reality they just create false expectations that will come back and bite us in the butt.’ same for the love songs. for example, whoopi has an answer to the question posed by the supremes, ‘where would i be without you?’ her answer: ‘hopefully still yourself.’”
“one of their fears is that we may be on the cusp of an epidemic of loneliness. interventions, they say, may be in order. some even present statistics in support of the link between living alone and feeling lonely. not bogus statistics but real ones. for example, a recent report about the well-being of older people in the uk noted that 17% of older people living alone say that they are often lonely, compared to only 2% of those living with others. that’s a meaningful difference. i do believe that many older people are isolated, lonely, and depressed (though not as many as our stereotypes would lead us to believe). their problems should be taken seriously. but let’s not make a pathology out of a preference.”
“what’s more, there was no undermining the importance of friendship, no matter how the authors analyzed the data. people with more friends were less lonely. the results were that simple. but nowhere do we hear anything about how people need to ‘compensate’ for not having friends.”
“this is private practice’s definition of ‘dying alone.’ it is many other people’s as well. the usual perversion of the ‘alone’ word is in play: if you have two old friends with you, one actually in bed with you and holding you in his arms, you have died alone. by this taken-for-granted definition, friends are not people. unless there is a spouse present, you have died alone.”
a few notes before i share some quotes i liked:
i don’t care much for the discussion about being alone with your thoughts, for two reasons. one being the author’s definition of “alone with your thoughts,” which is being able to or enjoying doing nothing (literally—no music, tv, phone, people, activities, etc.) and just thinking. by that definition, i would not be someone who enjoys being alone with my own thoughts, but only because i find not doing anything a waste of time. but when i’m doing mindless things, such as cooking, cleaning, showering, etc., i don’t always have something else going on to occupy my mind (like a tv show, youtube video, music, podcast, audiobook, etc.), sometimes i enjoy having full on monologues about whatever pops into my head. but since i’m doing something in those scenarios, the author doesn’t count that as “being alone with my thoughts.” plenty of people “fill the silence” because catching up on that tv show while cleaning or listening to a podcast or audiobook while cooking is a more efficient use of their time, or listen to music while answering emails or showering because they’re just in the mood. as the author stated elsewhere in the book, we don’t need to pathologize a preference. the second reason is that i don’t think whether or not someone enjoys being alone with their thoughts has anything to do whether or not they enjoy being alone. there are plenty of people who don’t like when their mind isn’t occupied in some manner because they have a mental illness (such as depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, ocd, etc.) that can make it very easy to fall into potentially dangerous thought spirals. not taking that into consideration feels like a huge oversight.
the author criticized “best things about living alone” lists because they weren’t “profound” enough for the author’s liking and didn’t showcase the “real rewards of solo living for those who really mean it about wanting to live alone.” but who are you to decide they “don’t mean it” and what a “real reward” is? arguing if the main reasons you like to live alone is that you can do whatever you want without being hindered or judged by other people (not wearing pants, not having to wait for the bathroom, not worrying about waking others, not dealing with food theft, etc.) then “maybe you are not that serious” about living alone is kind of really pretentious. it’s one thing if you take your singledom and alone-ness very seriously and are passionate about it, that’s fine and not pretentious, but it’s a problem for me when you judge other single/alone people for “not doing it right.” not everyone has to turn that into a “single at heart” identity to be coveted. sometimes wanting to live alone is as simple as being able to have things the way you want them and do things the way you want to and live by your own timetable, and that includes the “trivial” matters, such as having your tv as loud as you want it. acting as if when the choice to live alone doesn’t come from a deep seeded innate desire to just be with oneself because that is the only way you will truly ever be fulfilled and the only way you can truly “think with your whole mind and feel with your whole heart” is just gatekeeping an experience when it’s really not that deep for everyone, nor does it need to be. it’s very “those people might live alone, but they don’t do it like me. those people might be single, but they don’t do it like me” and it’s kind of gross, honestly. what does putting down others who are in the same boat as you accomplish?
the author said “there are people who conform to the stereotype of the sad, lonely, and isolated person living alone” and i just don’t think being sad, lonely, and isolated are automatically a choice someone is making, which is implied by the use of the word “conform.” people don’t choose to be sad or lonely and isolation can also happen outside of people’s control. i understand the author wanted to shed light on the positives and benefits of living alone/being single, but i wish there had been less judgement of those who are living alone/single and are unhappy with it or negatively affected by it, as if they’re maliciously choosing to further the stigmatization of living alone and being single.
now, some quotes:
“why is it that sociability is considered a skill, whereas the ability to be alone is seen as weird?”
“on the average, though, single people are more connected to other people than married people are. i’ve written often about how single people have more friends, do more to maintain their ties with siblings and parents and friends and neighbors, do more to participate in the life of their cities and towns, and do more than their share of caring for aging parents and others who need help. in contrast, when couples move in together or get married, they tend to become more insular. that happens even if they don’t have children.”
“anneli rufus says that a loner is someone who prefers to be alone, so that’s her central basic definition and she thinks that when we call these serial killers ‘loners’ and we affix that kind of dark, menacing meaning to loner, we’re distorting the true meaning of loner.”
“[are you suggesting that by stereotyping, stigmatizing and ignoring singles that society could be amplifying feelings of loneliness?] yes, it is, and ironically, what it could also be doing is pushing people to marry who really don’t feel like it’s right for them and what happens then is you have people who end up lonelier than they would have been because they’re marrying because they think they should marry, because they think it’s the only legitimate, respected, celebrated option and so then they end up with what is probably the most painful kind of loneliness; the loneliness you experience when there is someone lying there right beside you.”
“the opposite of loneliness is jomo—the joy of missing out. for me, that’s when i’m so delighted not to feel obligated to participate in social events that don’t interest me. i stay home and revel in my solitude, or pursue the social engagements that really do engage me.”
“despite all that is good and affirming about people who are unafraid of being single, they cannot expect to be celebrated or even respected by other people. people who like being single, who choose to be single, are threatening cherished worldviews about what people should want and how they should feel. other people evaluate them more harshly than single people who wish they were coupled—even expressing more anger toward them.”
“craving time on your own is so rarely acknowledged or appreciated in our cultural conversations, because matrimania is rampant, and because wanting to be in romantic relationships is portrayed as normal and maybe even inevitable, it is difficult for people who love their solitude to own that. too many of them are wondering whether they don’t really like their time alone, they just haven’t met the right person. or maybe they have internalized the cultural narrative that if they are not goo-goo over romance and coupling, there’s something wrong with them. so i’m not sure how many people who really do love their solitude more than they love romantic relationships would say so to a researcher—or even to themselves.”
“my biggest objection, though, is with something else warwick says about people who are perfectly happy with solitude: ‘their focus is satisfying their needs, and their needs only.’ but think about people who really need to be with other people. when they spend time with other people, they are satisfying their own need to do so. are they fulfilling someone else’s similar need in the process? most likely. but i don’t think that counts as something for which they deserve extra credit. if the other person isn’t fulfilling their needs, they will probably flee. (unless they stay because they are scared of being alone.) and i think that means that what they are doing really is about their needs, and their needs only.”
“i said i’m not against marriage or coupling. but i am against compulsory coupling. i’m against the stigmatizing of those who are not coupled, whether by choice or by happenstance. one way to stop the stigma is to stop playing along with the game. if there is not someone you really want to be with over the holidays, then go to all those parties on your own. (of course, i think party invitations should include friends, but that's a different topic.) even if you do wish you were coupled and it is hard to walk in uncoupled, do it and feel proud. embrace and enjoy your inner smug singlehood.”
“the theme that resonates most with me is the argument that other people can be distracting and taxing. i’m not talking specifically about being with people who are annoying and demanding. instead, the idea is that just having other people around—even wonderful other people—can sap some of your cognitive and emotional resources. you might, even at some very low level, use up some of your psychological energy wondering about their needs and concerns, or considering the impression you may be making on them (even if you are not insecure about that), or maybe even just sensing their presence when you are sharing the same space and not even conversing.”
“i’ve heard from other people that they have had similar experiences. they, too, feel very badly about telling people whose company they like a lot that there are times when they don’t want their company, not even to do fun things. too bad we end up feeling badly about wanting time to ourselves. maybe if we talk more often and more openly about our preferences, things will begin to change. the people who get rebuffed will know that they shouldn’t take it personally, and the people who do the rebuffing won’t feel guilty.”
“whoopi also wants you to understand those romantic songs and movies and even many commercials for what they are—fantasies and mythologies, not real life. ‘we think these movies give us hope,’ she cautions, ‘but in reality they just create false expectations that will come back and bite us in the butt.’ same for the love songs. for example, whoopi has an answer to the question posed by the supremes, ‘where would i be without you?’ her answer: ‘hopefully still yourself.’”
“one of their fears is that we may be on the cusp of an epidemic of loneliness. interventions, they say, may be in order. some even present statistics in support of the link between living alone and feeling lonely. not bogus statistics but real ones. for example, a recent report about the well-being of older people in the uk noted that 17% of older people living alone say that they are often lonely, compared to only 2% of those living with others. that’s a meaningful difference. i do believe that many older people are isolated, lonely, and depressed (though not as many as our stereotypes would lead us to believe). their problems should be taken seriously. but let’s not make a pathology out of a preference.”
“what’s more, there was no undermining the importance of friendship, no matter how the authors analyzed the data. people with more friends were less lonely. the results were that simple. but nowhere do we hear anything about how people need to ‘compensate’ for not having friends.”
“this is private practice’s definition of ‘dying alone.’ it is many other people’s as well. the usual perversion of the ‘alone’ word is in play: if you have two old friends with you, one actually in bed with you and holding you in his arms, you have died alone. by this taken-for-granted definition, friends are not people. unless there is a spouse present, you have died alone.”
August 2, 2018
If you’re thinking “I don’t need to read this book because I don’t spend time alone or don’t need to spend time alone or am already comfortable with being alone”, don’t be so quick to discount it. There’s something in this book for:
-Anyone who enjoys interesting, well-researched, thought-provoking writing.
-Anyone who treasures their personal time but has had others make them feel guilty or worried about their lifestyle and choices.
-Anyone who has difficulty being comfortable with spending time alone and wants to make the best of every situation.
-Anyone who has had a change in their level of connection
-Anyone who has friends or loved ones who approach life differently than they do
-Even though I related to a lot of what Dr. DePaulo was discussing, there was one particular section that hit me like a freight train because it helped me realize that I was completely misunderstanding a friend of mine, and needed to rethink how I approached our relationship
-I bookmarked several sections to show a friend who often says to me “I just don’t get why you…” because the book explained it in a way I’ve never been able to.
That doesn’t cover everything, but I hope it makes the point that this book is good and is definitely worth reading.
Yes, the book does occasionally repeat the same example or information. However, I don’t see that as a problem. For one thing, the author makes it clear that this is a collection of different articles and blog posts, and the reader needs to remember that this type of collection is a little different than a book that is written start to finish as a unit. We should expect that the author might sometimes introduce an idea in the same way in more than one piece, because each article had to be accessible to a reader who was seeing it in a vacuum. More importantly, the author includes different ideas and analysis of the same ideas, so while I don’t necessarily need the starting point described again, it’s easy to skim past the familiar to get to the new and interesting connections.
I’m so glad I discovered Bella DePaulo, and I’m already reading another of her books.
-Anyone who enjoys interesting, well-researched, thought-provoking writing.
-Anyone who treasures their personal time but has had others make them feel guilty or worried about their lifestyle and choices.
-Anyone who has difficulty being comfortable with spending time alone and wants to make the best of every situation.
-Anyone who has had a change in their level of connection
-Anyone who has friends or loved ones who approach life differently than they do
-Even though I related to a lot of what Dr. DePaulo was discussing, there was one particular section that hit me like a freight train because it helped me realize that I was completely misunderstanding a friend of mine, and needed to rethink how I approached our relationship
-I bookmarked several sections to show a friend who often says to me “I just don’t get why you…” because the book explained it in a way I’ve never been able to.
That doesn’t cover everything, but I hope it makes the point that this book is good and is definitely worth reading.
Yes, the book does occasionally repeat the same example or information. However, I don’t see that as a problem. For one thing, the author makes it clear that this is a collection of different articles and blog posts, and the reader needs to remember that this type of collection is a little different than a book that is written start to finish as a unit. We should expect that the author might sometimes introduce an idea in the same way in more than one piece, because each article had to be accessible to a reader who was seeing it in a vacuum. More importantly, the author includes different ideas and analysis of the same ideas, so while I don’t necessarily need the starting point described again, it’s easy to skim past the familiar to get to the new and interesting connections.
I’m so glad I discovered Bella DePaulo, and I’m already reading another of her books.
January 11, 2018
An appealing title, but some statistically-heavy innards make this less enjoyable than other books of similar ilk. The author hammers the point that alone does not equal lonely, something self-evident to happy introverts everywhere.
Finished it as I try to polish off started-but-abandoned ebooks from last year.
Finished it as I try to polish off started-but-abandoned ebooks from last year.
March 8, 2020
The topic of this book is very important and deserves to be treated better than this poorly edited, mashed up collection of previously published articles.
I found myself skipping through 2/3 of the book because there was either no new point being made, or it was a repetition of am anecdote, or it was simply really badly edited.
I found myself skipping through 2/3 of the book because there was either no new point being made, or it was a repetition of am anecdote, or it was simply really badly edited.
January 15, 2018
This collection of essays and blog posts extolling the joys of solitude is very repetitious. I kept reading, hoping for more expansive insights, but it was all more of the same.
February 3, 2022
Living alone, I wanted a book that would help me through the loneliness and let me know how to cope. This book was full of information, but very repetitive. The author is supposedly and expert in living alone, but she quotes from many other authors and just repeats some paragraphs throughout the book. She is wildly fond of some authors, so at times, it made me feel like I should have read their books and not hers.
She did help to define “loneliness”, single at heart”, and “solitude”. It did help me to better understand my feelings and why I enjoy being alone most of the time.
I always thought I was anti-social, but this author walked me through all of the different scenarios and reasons why going solo is right for some people.
Also, there were numerous typos in the book. I self-published a book several years ago and I had two typos, but this book contained many more. As I said previously, some paragraphs were copied exactly from one chapter to another.
It is a good book to read, if you’re looking for some information regarding single people and the loneliness factory, but it’s not easy to read and I could only read it for so long before stopping.
She did help to define “loneliness”, single at heart”, and “solitude”. It did help me to better understand my feelings and why I enjoy being alone most of the time.
I always thought I was anti-social, but this author walked me through all of the different scenarios and reasons why going solo is right for some people.
Also, there were numerous typos in the book. I self-published a book several years ago and I had two typos, but this book contained many more. As I said previously, some paragraphs were copied exactly from one chapter to another.
It is a good book to read, if you’re looking for some information regarding single people and the loneliness factory, but it’s not easy to read and I could only read it for so long before stopping.
July 23, 2022
This book is just a compilation of blog posts that while has nuggets, is repetitive and just short not fully developed thoughts. Preferring her book singled out but in general glad she is out there trying to shift dominant narratives.
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