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Healing Hearts #4
Lost Soul: AJ's Burden
What does rock bottom look like to you?
AJ Silva is about to find out. His life has been spiralling the drain for the past year, and if he doesn’t find a way out soon, he may die on the streets of San Francisco. Drowning in a severe drug addiction, battling every day to survive, AJ doesn’t know where to turn. His past haunts him in more ways than one, and leaves him both grasping and begging for change, while fearing his future. All AJ knows how to do is chase one problem away with another. How can you win the war when your enemy is yourself?
Trystain Larsson is an addict. Five years ago, he discovered rock bottom first hand. Since that dreaded day, he’s worked his recovery with everything he has. Helping others who’ve fallen victim to drugs gives him hope for a better tomorrow. If he can save even one person from that life, it will mean victory.
When AJ lands at his doorstep, Trystain gets more than he bargained for. Not only is AJ at the end of his rope, but there is something darker going on.
Coming off drugs is not an easy task, and with AJ, Trystain has his work cut out for him. During their time together, a bond that goes deeper than friendship grows.
Will mistakes from the past be barriers for the future? It’s hard to move forward, when you can’t stop looking back.
**TRIGGER WARNING** This book deals with addiction and has on-page drug use.
AJ Silva is about to find out. His life has been spiralling the drain for the past year, and if he doesn’t find a way out soon, he may die on the streets of San Francisco. Drowning in a severe drug addiction, battling every day to survive, AJ doesn’t know where to turn. His past haunts him in more ways than one, and leaves him both grasping and begging for change, while fearing his future. All AJ knows how to do is chase one problem away with another. How can you win the war when your enemy is yourself?
Trystain Larsson is an addict. Five years ago, he discovered rock bottom first hand. Since that dreaded day, he’s worked his recovery with everything he has. Helping others who’ve fallen victim to drugs gives him hope for a better tomorrow. If he can save even one person from that life, it will mean victory.
When AJ lands at his doorstep, Trystain gets more than he bargained for. Not only is AJ at the end of his rope, but there is something darker going on.
Coming off drugs is not an easy task, and with AJ, Trystain has his work cut out for him. During their time together, a bond that goes deeper than friendship grows.
Will mistakes from the past be barriers for the future? It’s hard to move forward, when you can’t stop looking back.
**TRIGGER WARNING** This book deals with addiction and has on-page drug use.
230 pages, ebook
First published October 22, 2017
About the author
Nicky James
76 books2,425 followersI live in the small town of Petrolia, Ontario, Canada and I am a mother to a wonderful teenage boy (didn't think those words could be typed together...surprise) and wife to a truly supportive and understanding husband, who thankfully doesn't think I'm crazy.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
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August 2, 2023
The fact that this entire series were 4-star reads for me should say enough.
Highly, highly recommend. ♡
Highly, highly recommend. ♡
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August 4, 2023
to sum up how i felt in gif form,
me in the first half:
second half:
so much pain. so much heartbreak. but, beyond all that, there was also so much love. so much growth. so much hope. this wasn't an easy read - especially in the first half, i cried nearly every other page, but i loved reading about AJ's journey. the way he was trying so hard to make sure he doesn't fall back into old habits, i wanted to give both him and Tryst a hug. 🥺 i also loved seeing AJ and Tryst's romance develop bc, in some ways, the uncertainty and hesitance, it felt like they were experiencing first love with each other and, considering what they have been through, it was first love (AJ has never been in a relationship before and while Tryst has dated during his teens—it was never like this—and he just had meaningless hookups after 'til now) for both of them and, for that, it felt endearing to see their interactions while having all these all-consuming feelings for one another. i simply adored them and most of the side characters too. <3
me in the first half:
second half:
so much pain. so much heartbreak. but, beyond all that, there was also so much love. so much growth. so much hope. this wasn't an easy read - especially in the first half, i cried nearly every other page, but i loved reading about AJ's journey. the way he was trying so hard to make sure he doesn't fall back into old habits, i wanted to give both him and Tryst a hug. 🥺 i also loved seeing AJ and Tryst's romance develop bc, in some ways, the uncertainty and hesitance, it felt like they were experiencing first love with each other and, considering what they have been through, it was first love (AJ has never been in a relationship before and while Tryst has dated during his teens—it was never like this—and he just had meaningless hookups after 'til now) for both of them and, for that, it felt endearing to see their interactions while having all these all-consuming feelings for one another. i simply adored them and most of the side characters too. <3
November 1, 2017
3rd re-read February 10th 2024
***********************************************
2nd re-read January 1rst 2019
Just a good as the first time. I love Trystain and AJ together.
I was listening to this song yesterday "Fix you by Coldplay". And it remembered that this song was used for it's booktrailer. It's awesome. I always think of Trystain and AJ when I hear this song.
link booktrailer
********************************************
I loved this last installment. Ever since Soren's story, I hoped for AJ's HEA. He was a mistery and I was convinced he had a lot of secrets.
And he did. AJ's addiction to drugs was hard to read about. I was so happy even in his lowest moment, he met Trystain. Trystain understood him. Being free himself from drugs for 5 years, he is the encouraging factor in AJ's life. AJ was Trystain's last step in total recovery. They were perfect for each other.
~~ AJ
AJ
Trystain
***********************************************
2nd re-read January 1rst 2019
Just a good as the first time. I love Trystain and AJ together.
I was listening to this song yesterday "Fix you by Coldplay". And it remembered that this song was used for it's booktrailer. It's awesome. I always think of Trystain and AJ when I hear this song.
link booktrailer
********************************************
I loved this last installment. Ever since Soren's story, I hoped for AJ's HEA. He was a mistery and I was convinced he had a lot of secrets.
And he did. AJ's addiction to drugs was hard to read about. I was so happy even in his lowest moment, he met Trystain. Trystain understood him. Being free himself from drugs for 5 years, he is the encouraging factor in AJ's life. AJ was Trystain's last step in total recovery. They were perfect for each other.
"I'd fallen long ago if it wasn't for you. I'm scared every day of returning to that life. You're my strength when I can't stand on my own. You're my courage when I cower from reality. You give me hope for a better tomorrow. You put up with all my shit and never bat an eye.
No one has ever cared that much about me."
~~ AJ
AJ
Trystain
December 17, 2018
Un libro duro, pero bonito. Como toda la serie.
October 30, 2017
I fell in love with Nicky's books right from the first page of No Regrets...right through Abel's book then onto Soren..That's where we meet AJ and I loved him straight away....Right from the start I knew his book was going to be hard....AJ's life went down hill after leaving Donny's club..It's heartbreaking to read that he'd been there since he was 14 and on drugs as long as he has....They were breaking him...killing him......Trystain was his saviour....His knight in shining armour....He found him and boy the way these two are together was beautiful....and i'm not talking about them i bed together....Nothing happens between them for a good 70% of the book....It's about AJ coming to realise he needs help and that his life is nearly over....Tryst gets him back on track as his mentor and friend.....He's there for him...along with helping him to find his sister too......Their road together is not the easiest but this book is no where near as hard a read as Abel's Journey but it will bring you to tears a few times.....There's two moments in this that broke me....I won't mention them but you'll know when you get there......A beautiful book to finish the series....AJ needed his HEA and with Trystain he gets it....and he may just get his family back too x
May 23, 2020
ciężka książka. naprawdę ciężka książka i ciężka seria. ta część dotyka innego problemu niż pozostałe trzy i troche przez to czuje sie przemaglowana. ale dobrze ze i Ajowi sie udało. summa summarum po prostu bardzo dobra seria.
June 19, 2020
Na takie zakończenie liczyłam. Musze przyznać, że ta cześć podobała mi się najbardziej, chyba z uwagi na Trystaina, niesamowity facet. Generalnie całą seria warta przeczytania, nie było lekko, ale życie to nie tylko kwiatki i słońce.
June 19, 2020
ciężka seria :P czasami męcząca ze względu na poruszane w niej tematy, ale warta poznania i przeczytania ;)
June 20, 2020
Ten tom to koniec trudnej serii Nicky James. Szkoda... Bo, pomimo tego, że nie była łatwa, to jednak czytało się ją jednym tchem... Choć przyznaję bez bicia, moim absolutnym ulubieńcem pozostał niezmiennie Soren... I historia AJ-a i Trystaina tego nie zmieniła, choć chyba zajęłaby 2 miejsce 😉
May 18, 2020
Niekiedy ta historia mnie bardzo męczyła, ale w ogólnym rozrachunku bardzo mi się podobało.
May 11, 2024
3,5
Une lecture qui aborde des sujets forts en nous donnant de l'espoir et elle nous permet de rencontrer des personnages attachants.
Je m'attendais à quelque chose de plus poignant même si certains passages sont difficiles et font mal au couer. Malgré tout, j'ai dévoré les 3 quarts du livre et eu un peu de mal à terminer le dernier quart.
Une lecture qui aborde des sujets forts en nous donnant de l'espoir et elle nous permet de rencontrer des personnages attachants.
Je m'attendais à quelque chose de plus poignant même si certains passages sont difficiles et font mal au couer. Malgré tout, j'ai dévoré les 3 quarts du livre et eu un peu de mal à terminer le dernier quart.
April 16, 2022
I loved the beginning, loved AJ and Trystain. I love addiction stories, and all the darkness that goes with them.
Here though, it seemed a little too smooth sailing? I think I expected more pain, more angst, more heartbreak. I got a little bored around 75%.
I may or may not write a longer review tomorrow.
Here though, it seemed a little too smooth sailing? I think I expected more pain, more angst, more heartbreak. I got a little bored around 75%.
I may or may not write a longer review tomorrow.
May 25, 2018
4,5 stars.
Loved AJ and Trystain. AJ's hard journey of getting clean und building a trusting relationship with Trystain was painful.... and wonderful to read.
November 2, 2017
5 Stars
Trystain comes home from work one night to find AJ passed out on his doorstep high as a kite. He sees so much of himself in AJ and can’t bring himself to just walk away, so brings him inside his home to clean him up and offer him help if he’d like to get tackle his drug addiction. AJ, of course, leaves after a shower and some food, but Trystain can’t stop thinking about him. Eventually, driven by the need to finally get clean, AJ finds himself back at Trystain’s door desperate for his help.
I’ve read a few of Nicky’s books and they are always gut wrenching and sad, but while this story was sad and the subject matter wasn’t easy to read about at times, Trystain and AJ’s story had a more hopeful vibe about it. This book wasn’t as dark as the others and focused more on the recovery rather than the extreme self-destruction feathered in some of the other books by this author.
I absolutely loved both Trystain and AJ, and the chemistry between them was undeniable. I loved the progression of their relationship, it was natural and organic, sweet and passionate. I loved the determination of both men and their support of one another. Although Trystain has been clean for five years, he still has struggles and AJ is there to help him over the huddles and vice versa. These two men were a real team and they worked well together, both as friends and later as lovers.
I am an absolute fan girl of this author’s work and haven’t come across a book that I haven’t absolutely loved and although they normally tear me apart, I keep coming back for more. I haven’t been disappointed yet and this story was no exception. It was a well-written and emotionally driven story with characters you couldn’t help but root for. I wanted Trystain and AJ to get their HEA, but I wasn’t quite ready to let them go yet. I was satisfied in the end, but left wanting so much more. This was a really enjoyable read and highly recommended!
*copy provided by author/publisher in exchange for an honest review*
Trystain comes home from work one night to find AJ passed out on his doorstep high as a kite. He sees so much of himself in AJ and can’t bring himself to just walk away, so brings him inside his home to clean him up and offer him help if he’d like to get tackle his drug addiction. AJ, of course, leaves after a shower and some food, but Trystain can’t stop thinking about him. Eventually, driven by the need to finally get clean, AJ finds himself back at Trystain’s door desperate for his help.
I’ve read a few of Nicky’s books and they are always gut wrenching and sad, but while this story was sad and the subject matter wasn’t easy to read about at times, Trystain and AJ’s story had a more hopeful vibe about it. This book wasn’t as dark as the others and focused more on the recovery rather than the extreme self-destruction feathered in some of the other books by this author.
I absolutely loved both Trystain and AJ, and the chemistry between them was undeniable. I loved the progression of their relationship, it was natural and organic, sweet and passionate. I loved the determination of both men and their support of one another. Although Trystain has been clean for five years, he still has struggles and AJ is there to help him over the huddles and vice versa. These two men were a real team and they worked well together, both as friends and later as lovers.
I am an absolute fan girl of this author’s work and haven’t come across a book that I haven’t absolutely loved and although they normally tear me apart, I keep coming back for more. I haven’t been disappointed yet and this story was no exception. It was a well-written and emotionally driven story with characters you couldn’t help but root for. I wanted Trystain and AJ to get their HEA, but I wasn’t quite ready to let them go yet. I was satisfied in the end, but left wanting so much more. This was a really enjoyable read and highly recommended!
*copy provided by author/publisher in exchange for an honest review*
January 23, 2025
Vous savez ce moment où une saga vous transporte tellement que vous ne voulez jamais qu’elle se termine ? C’est exactement ce que j’ai ressenti avec la série Healing Hearts de Nicky James. Du tome 1 au tome 4, chaque livre a été un coup de foudre, et Sans peine vient clore cette aventure de manière magistrale.
Dans ce dernier opus, nous suivons AJ, un homme perdu dans les méandres de la drogue, dont la vie semble s’effondrer un peu plus chaque jour. Tout bascule lorsqu’il s’écroule, par hasard, devant la porte de Trystain, un ancien toxicomane sobre depuis cinq ans. Cette rencontre inattendue marquera un tournant décisif dans la vie d’AJ, l’entraînant sur un chemin de reconstruction qu’il n’aurait jamais cru possible.
AJ et Trystain sont tout simplement inoubliables. Ils incarnent l’espoir, la résilience, et la lutte contre leurs propres démons. Leur relation est un véritable slowburn, comme je les aime : rien n’est précipité, tout se construit étape par étape, avec une infinie tendresse et beaucoup d’émotions. On souffre avec eux, on rit avec eux, et on vibre pour chaque moment qu’ils partagent.
Sans peine n’est pas qu’une romance, c’est un plongeon dans des thèmes profonds et douloureux, explorés avec une authenticité désarmante. La toxicomanie, la résilience et la quête de rédemption sont au cœur de cette histoire. Nicky James parvient à traiter ces sujets difficiles avec justesse et humanité.
Chaque mot de l’autrice est chargé d’émotion et son écriture m’a littéralement retournée. C’est le genre de livre qui va vous chercher au plus profond de vous-même, qui vous bouleverse et qui reste avec vous longtemps après avoir tourné la dernière page.
Je referme cette saga avec le cœur serré, mais comblé. Cette série a été un coup de cœur du début à la fin. Merci à Nicky James pour ces histoires pleines d’humanité, qui m’ont touchée en plein cœur. Si vous aimez les romances poignantes, les slowburns intenses et les récits profondément humains, Sans peine est un incontournable.
Dans ce dernier opus, nous suivons AJ, un homme perdu dans les méandres de la drogue, dont la vie semble s’effondrer un peu plus chaque jour. Tout bascule lorsqu’il s’écroule, par hasard, devant la porte de Trystain, un ancien toxicomane sobre depuis cinq ans. Cette rencontre inattendue marquera un tournant décisif dans la vie d’AJ, l’entraînant sur un chemin de reconstruction qu’il n’aurait jamais cru possible.
AJ et Trystain sont tout simplement inoubliables. Ils incarnent l’espoir, la résilience, et la lutte contre leurs propres démons. Leur relation est un véritable slowburn, comme je les aime : rien n’est précipité, tout se construit étape par étape, avec une infinie tendresse et beaucoup d’émotions. On souffre avec eux, on rit avec eux, et on vibre pour chaque moment qu’ils partagent.
Sans peine n’est pas qu’une romance, c’est un plongeon dans des thèmes profonds et douloureux, explorés avec une authenticité désarmante. La toxicomanie, la résilience et la quête de rédemption sont au cœur de cette histoire. Nicky James parvient à traiter ces sujets difficiles avec justesse et humanité.
Chaque mot de l’autrice est chargé d’émotion et son écriture m’a littéralement retournée. C’est le genre de livre qui va vous chercher au plus profond de vous-même, qui vous bouleverse et qui reste avec vous longtemps après avoir tourné la dernière page.
Je referme cette saga avec le cœur serré, mais comblé. Cette série a été un coup de cœur du début à la fin. Merci à Nicky James pour ces histoires pleines d’humanité, qui m’ont touchée en plein cœur. Si vous aimez les romances poignantes, les slowburns intenses et les récits profondément humains, Sans peine est un incontournable.
May 12, 2018
Another amazing book by Nicky James. While heavy in drug use this was just so beautiful and eye opening into the world of addition and recovery. I was pleased actually that the we didn't have to relive the sex trafficing aspects of AJ's life that we knew existed from Book 3.
But this was equally as difficult. Trystain was just a beautiful soul and their journey through recovery together, while difficult, was equally uplifting.
The book trailer images are simply perfect.
https://youtu.be/df0WSvSrVJA
But this was equally as difficult. Trystain was just a beautiful soul and their journey through recovery together, while difficult, was equally uplifting.
The book trailer images are simply perfect.
https://youtu.be/df0WSvSrVJA
November 4, 2017
I don't know where to start with this review. I enjoy a good romance story like the next person but this series has been on a whole other level. I can see why some people would steer clear of them. I mean these books don't pull any punches. They contain really heavy material and the lives that are depicted are about as far from hearts and flowers as you can get but the way they are told just grabs you right from the very first word and does not let go. The characters depicted are so true to life and are living with situations that will break your heart and in this case, we are dealing with drug addiction and sex abuse amongst other things, so if these are subjects that you will struggle to read about, then don't pick up this book. If however, you love a book that makes you think and will make you feel, then don't hesitate, this is for you. This is the fourth book in the series and I have loved every one of them.
AJ ran away from home at fourteen after his foster parents didn't take too kindly to the news that he was gay. Seeing no other option, he took off and left behind his nine-year-old sister. Now aged 29, AJ's life has truly hit rock bottom, his drug addiction has him caught in a vicious circle that to be honest, he doesn't want to break free from. Real life is just too unimaginable and he still hates himself for abandoning his sister all those years ago. One night after spending days on a high and without sleep, he is, for want of a better word, 'lucky' enough to collapse at the door of Trystain, a man who has been exactly where AJ is now. He takes the frail stranger into his home in the hopes of helping but he knows all too well that unless AJ wants the help, he won't get clean. Eventually, AJ realises that he needs to get better and finds himself back at Trystains door. I loved the relationship they had which started off with Trystain being his sponsor. It didn't really sit right with me that their relationship turned into something more but I loved these guys so much that I got over myself and was happy for them. Over time, they help each other in ways that no-one else has even come close to doing.
In true NJ style, just when you think they are going to live happily ever after, bamb! you get the wind knocked out of you with info that you just weren't expecting. If you thought, they had suffered enough already, there's just a little bit more for them to deal with and I know I had one of those 'NOOOOOOOO!' moments. Thankfully, both men are strong and get through all that life throws at them. Their life may not be perfect but they have each other and you know they get an ending that they deserve. It even brought a lump to my throat and had me a bit choked up. A brilliant book that I just couldn't put down and would recommend to anyone who likes a kick of realism.
Copy received from publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Cheryl from Alpha Book Club
Alpha Book Club
All Alpha Males Accepted
alphabookclub.org
AJ ran away from home at fourteen after his foster parents didn't take too kindly to the news that he was gay. Seeing no other option, he took off and left behind his nine-year-old sister. Now aged 29, AJ's life has truly hit rock bottom, his drug addiction has him caught in a vicious circle that to be honest, he doesn't want to break free from. Real life is just too unimaginable and he still hates himself for abandoning his sister all those years ago. One night after spending days on a high and without sleep, he is, for want of a better word, 'lucky' enough to collapse at the door of Trystain, a man who has been exactly where AJ is now. He takes the frail stranger into his home in the hopes of helping but he knows all too well that unless AJ wants the help, he won't get clean. Eventually, AJ realises that he needs to get better and finds himself back at Trystains door. I loved the relationship they had which started off with Trystain being his sponsor. It didn't really sit right with me that their relationship turned into something more but I loved these guys so much that I got over myself and was happy for them. Over time, they help each other in ways that no-one else has even come close to doing.
In true NJ style, just when you think they are going to live happily ever after, bamb! you get the wind knocked out of you with info that you just weren't expecting. If you thought, they had suffered enough already, there's just a little bit more for them to deal with and I know I had one of those 'NOOOOOOOO!' moments. Thankfully, both men are strong and get through all that life throws at them. Their life may not be perfect but they have each other and you know they get an ending that they deserve. It even brought a lump to my throat and had me a bit choked up. A brilliant book that I just couldn't put down and would recommend to anyone who likes a kick of realism.
Copy received from publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Cheryl from Alpha Book Club
Alpha Book Club
All Alpha Males Accepted
alphabookclub.org
October 24, 2017
Argh! I so don't like writing these reviews.
Just like all the others in the Healing Hearts series, this one is full of raw emotions, heartbreaking lows and of course, incredibly euphoric highs.
This one was just a little . . . . lacking, for me.
I feel a little cheated on the romance and relationship development between AJ and Trystan. The drug use and recovery is the main focus in this story, and while that isn't a bad thing, I just expected a little more from these two. Their relationship was solely a sponsor/support one that it was 80% in before anything romantic took place, and even then, it felt . . . . rushed.
Now, this isn't to say I didn't like the story, I did, I think Nicky has done an amazing job with this story and taken her writing to a whole new level, this book is beyond powerful, and when you have lived a day in AJ's shoes, you appreciate that Nicky didn't shy away from the ugly reality of what life is like for an addict. I just cannot say this was the perfect "romance", this was more a story of two strong souls and their courageous journey of self-discovery, self-worth and a lasting and solid friendship, just my 2 cents.
Anywho, as I said this is a powerful story of AJ hitting rock bottom, and clawing his way back.
His life and drug habit have got so out of his control he doesn't know what's up or down and one night when close to overdosing in a dark alleyway, he is saved by Trystan, a guy who just wants to give people the chance to change their life like he was years before.
This story takes you on a Very bumpy and emotional, tear-filled read as you learn of not only AJ's struggles since leaving his foster home as a young teen to his horrific past but also about the battles that Trystan has had to overcome and is still fighting.
*ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
Just like all the others in the Healing Hearts series, this one is full of raw emotions, heartbreaking lows and of course, incredibly euphoric highs.
This one was just a little . . . . lacking, for me.
I feel a little cheated on the romance and relationship development between AJ and Trystan. The drug use and recovery is the main focus in this story, and while that isn't a bad thing, I just expected a little more from these two. Their relationship was solely a sponsor/support one that it was 80% in before anything romantic took place, and even then, it felt . . . . rushed.
Now, this isn't to say I didn't like the story, I did, I think Nicky has done an amazing job with this story and taken her writing to a whole new level, this book is beyond powerful, and when you have lived a day in AJ's shoes, you appreciate that Nicky didn't shy away from the ugly reality of what life is like for an addict. I just cannot say this was the perfect "romance", this was more a story of two strong souls and their courageous journey of self-discovery, self-worth and a lasting and solid friendship, just my 2 cents.
Anywho, as I said this is a powerful story of AJ hitting rock bottom, and clawing his way back.
His life and drug habit have got so out of his control he doesn't know what's up or down and one night when close to overdosing in a dark alleyway, he is saved by Trystan, a guy who just wants to give people the chance to change their life like he was years before.
This story takes you on a Very bumpy and emotional, tear-filled read as you learn of not only AJ's struggles since leaving his foster home as a young teen to his horrific past but also about the battles that Trystan has had to overcome and is still fighting.
*ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
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October 23, 2017
Lost Soul; AJ's Burden is the 4th book in the Healing Hearts series by the very talented Nicky James.
Although this is the 4th book, it is 100% standalone.
AJ is an addict drowning in his addiction to drugs. There doesn't seem to be a light at the end of his tunnel. How far does he need to fall before he realizes that he needs to do something??
Trystain is an addict. He is five years clean and now helps others who find themselves slave to drug use.
Trystain literally stumbles over AJ and being the person he is, Trystain does everything he can to help AJ.
You can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink. This is especially true with AJ.
These guys stole my heart from the very first page.
Nicky James is such a great writer that I felt that I was in the room with AJ, going through all the emotions with him... all his lows and all his highs.
This book comes with a trigger warning as it deals with drug addiction, however, I must commend Mrs James on a very well researched and written book.
I received an ARC from the author for my honest review, however, I loved the book so much, that I purchased a copy for myself
Although this is the 4th book, it is 100% standalone.
AJ is an addict drowning in his addiction to drugs. There doesn't seem to be a light at the end of his tunnel. How far does he need to fall before he realizes that he needs to do something??
Trystain is an addict. He is five years clean and now helps others who find themselves slave to drug use.
Trystain literally stumbles over AJ and being the person he is, Trystain does everything he can to help AJ.
You can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make it drink. This is especially true with AJ.
These guys stole my heart from the very first page.
Nicky James is such a great writer that I felt that I was in the room with AJ, going through all the emotions with him... all his lows and all his highs.
This book comes with a trigger warning as it deals with drug addiction, however, I must commend Mrs James on a very well researched and written book.
I received an ARC from the author for my honest review, however, I loved the book so much, that I purchased a copy for myself
October 23, 2017
I love this series my heart is in my mouth with every new book I read, waiting to see what heartbreak and triumph Nicky will bring to life. AJ's story was one of loss, abandonment and then finally acceptance and love. From a teenager AJ lived on the streets fending for himself after being kicked out of a foster home for being gay. Heavily dependant on drugs for survival and escape, AJ's life quickly spirals out of control.. that is until he finds himself at Trystain's doorstep, a recovering addict himself he instantly finds himself drawn to AJ and wants to help him get clean. This book for me focused a lot on the recovery of AJ's heroin addiction and it took away a wee bit from the connection between AJ and Trystain; but in true Nicky style this book was a heart-warming tale of survival and overcoming the odds.
October 20, 2018
3.5 Stars
I am a big fan of Nicky James and this entry into the Healing Hearts series is a good one.
We meet AJ in the 3rd book in the series and I was thrilled to see him get his HEA.
You don't have to read that book to enjoy this one but it will make it better.
James does a deep dive into addiction and the start of recovery here. And there are a pile of other triggers for sex trafficking and abuse of all kinds.
However, the heart of this book is the lovely romance between AJ and Trystan, two men who have never had a relationship before.
It is really sweet and healing overall with great secondary stories that I wouldn't mind reading more about.
I would have liked a richer epilogue as we are pretty early in recovery for AJ and being together for them both but as always James stellar writing and character development sees us through.
I am a big fan of Nicky James and this entry into the Healing Hearts series is a good one.
We meet AJ in the 3rd book in the series and I was thrilled to see him get his HEA.
You don't have to read that book to enjoy this one but it will make it better.
James does a deep dive into addiction and the start of recovery here. And there are a pile of other triggers for sex trafficking and abuse of all kinds.
However, the heart of this book is the lovely romance between AJ and Trystan, two men who have never had a relationship before.
It is really sweet and healing overall with great secondary stories that I wouldn't mind reading more about.
I would have liked a richer epilogue as we are pretty early in recovery for AJ and being together for them both but as always James stellar writing and character development sees us through.
May 17, 2022
3.5/5
James's stories are always filled with so much empathy and sincerity. Her characters struggle, but it never feels overwrought or melodramatic. This was no exception. I personally felt a little disconnected to this particular book; I think so much time was spent explaining the dynamics of addiction and recovery to the extent that it felt slightly clinical and detracted from the romance a bit. However, I can see why this was included and it would be great for those who are seeking understanding. Nevertheless, this was a beautiful story of healing.
James's stories are always filled with so much empathy and sincerity. Her characters struggle, but it never feels overwrought or melodramatic. This was no exception. I personally felt a little disconnected to this particular book; I think so much time was spent explaining the dynamics of addiction and recovery to the extent that it felt slightly clinical and detracted from the romance a bit. However, I can see why this was included and it would be great for those who are seeking understanding. Nevertheless, this was a beautiful story of healing.
June 4, 2018
loved as much as the others in this series !!
August 23, 2023
3.75⭐️ just because I would have liked a little more focus on the romance, just a little.
January 26, 2025
Quatrième et dernier tome de cette série bouleversante, portée par des personnages profondément attachants malgré leurs histoires déchirantes.
Les deux premiers tomes m’avaient brisé le cœur, au point que j’étais peut-être un peu plus armée pour la suite. Alors, même si l’émotion reste intense, que l’histoire est poignante et les personnages bien construits, j’ai un peu moins accroché à celui-ci. Pourtant, j’ai souffert aux côtés d’AJ et suivi avec intérêt son long chemin vers la guérison. Le slow burn est réussi, mais j’ai eu du mal à être pleinement investie dans leur histoire d’amour. Un léger syndrome du sauveur m’a gênée, et même si je ne souhaitais pas qu’il endure davantage, j’ai trouvé que la désintoxication de AJ semblait un peu trop facile.
Néanmoins, le personnage de Tristayn est remarquable, et la bonté qui le définit apporte une profondeur touchante à l’histoire. Mais décidément, personne n'est épargné dans cette série!
En résumé, ce tome conserve toutes les qualités de la série, mais il lui manque ce petit quelque chose pour être parfait.
Les deux premiers tomes m’avaient brisé le cœur, au point que j’étais peut-être un peu plus armée pour la suite. Alors, même si l’émotion reste intense, que l’histoire est poignante et les personnages bien construits, j’ai un peu moins accroché à celui-ci. Pourtant, j’ai souffert aux côtés d’AJ et suivi avec intérêt son long chemin vers la guérison. Le slow burn est réussi, mais j’ai eu du mal à être pleinement investie dans leur histoire d’amour. Un léger syndrome du sauveur m’a gênée, et même si je ne souhaitais pas qu’il endure davantage, j’ai trouvé que la désintoxication de AJ semblait un peu trop facile.
Néanmoins, le personnage de Tristayn est remarquable, et la bonté qui le définit apporte une profondeur touchante à l’histoire. Mais décidément, personne n'est épargné dans cette série!
En résumé, ce tome conserve toutes les qualités de la série, mais il lui manque ce petit quelque chose pour être parfait.
November 15, 2017
i liked this story a lot, it was something different and was very realistic. the couple is super cute and the author did a great job with character development
March 22, 2022
4.25*
October 25, 2017
This is the first book in the series that doesn't have any cameos from the previous books. This place in California, a far away place from the characters we know and love. It does make me sad. We met AJ in book three, The Escape: Soren’s Saga. He was the oldest of the boys who had worked at the a club who doubled in sex trafficking. Life hasn't been easy for AJ, and the journey for AJ's happiness is only just beginning.
Trystain is an drug addict, and now helps teens who are now in the position he's been in before. He discovers AJ outside his door one night, high and completely out of it. Trystain isn't one to not help others, especially when he can see them struggling like he once did. He takes AJ into his home and offers him a lifeline. AJ doesn't like the man he's become, but he's been relying on drugs to survive for so long, he doesn't know how to be sober and function without them.
This book is difficult to read. We see the book from a first-person perspective of both AJ and Trystain. And reading about AJ using or trying to come off the drugs is definitely not an easy read. This story is heartbreaking. Knowing what AJ's been through and seeing him in such a bad way at the beginning of this book? If you're a fan of this series, I just say you'll need to mentally prepare yourself to read this. It's not sad in the way that No Regrets and New Beginnings: Abel's Journey was, but it will do it's best to break you.
I adore Trystain. He's selfless and only wants to help others. He's been a lot and using his knowledge and experiences to give kids and teens the help they need to turn their life around. Aj is a sweetheart and I adore him. His one goal (besides getting clean) is to search for his younger sister. They've been separated for many years now, ever since he ran away from his foster home as a teen and left his sister behind. They've had no contact for years. I want to say the ending was the big moment that made me cry. It's a happy ending, in its own way, and I only wish these characters the best.
A few issues I have did kind of rub me the wrong way? First, this is a story about a drug addict and his sponsor falling in love. The message there seems kind of like a conflict of interest in AJ's case. And as much as I love Trystain, the basis of their relationship seems wrong somehow? Not that it probably wouldn't happen in real life, just that their lives seemed to become too woven together in a (dare I say unhealthy) codependant relationshp? Or at least on AJ's part. I'm not sure he could make it on his own without Trystain and, in that aspect, I'm not a fan.
A second issue is that AJ's mother is schizophrenic and lost her rights to taking care of her two children. AJ spends more than half the book terrified he has schizophrenia, whereas Trystain is convinced it's just affects left over from the drugs.
Overall, the book is a raw and emotional read. It's not a light-hearted novel, but definitely works as a standalone. This a story about overcoming great odds.
Trystain is an drug addict, and now helps teens who are now in the position he's been in before. He discovers AJ outside his door one night, high and completely out of it. Trystain isn't one to not help others, especially when he can see them struggling like he once did. He takes AJ into his home and offers him a lifeline. AJ doesn't like the man he's become, but he's been relying on drugs to survive for so long, he doesn't know how to be sober and function without them.
A hollowness, a gaping void where the exit was no longer marked and he couldn't get out. He was utterly lost.
This book is difficult to read. We see the book from a first-person perspective of both AJ and Trystain. And reading about AJ using or trying to come off the drugs is definitely not an easy read. This story is heartbreaking. Knowing what AJ's been through and seeing him in such a bad way at the beginning of this book? If you're a fan of this series, I just say you'll need to mentally prepare yourself to read this. It's not sad in the way that No Regrets and New Beginnings: Abel's Journey was, but it will do it's best to break you.
I adore Trystain. He's selfless and only wants to help others. He's been a lot and using his knowledge and experiences to give kids and teens the help they need to turn their life around. Aj is a sweetheart and I adore him. His one goal (besides getting clean) is to search for his younger sister. They've been separated for many years now, ever since he ran away from his foster home as a teen and left his sister behind. They've had no contact for years. I want to say the ending was the big moment that made me cry. It's a happy ending, in its own way, and I only wish these characters the best.
A few issues I have did kind of rub me the wrong way? First, this is a story about a drug addict and his sponsor falling in love. The message there seems kind of like a conflict of interest in AJ's case. And as much as I love Trystain, the basis of their relationship seems wrong somehow? Not that it probably wouldn't happen in real life, just that their lives seemed to become too woven together in a (dare I say unhealthy) codependant relationshp? Or at least on AJ's part. I'm not sure he could make it on his own without Trystain and, in that aspect, I'm not a fan.
A second issue is that AJ's mother is schizophrenic and lost her rights to taking care of her two children. AJ spends more than half the book terrified he has schizophrenia, whereas Trystain is convinced it's just affects left over from the drugs.
Overall, the book is a raw and emotional read. It's not a light-hearted novel, but definitely works as a standalone. This a story about overcoming great odds.
November 3, 2017
5 Stars!!!
I will admit I was almost afraid of reading this book. After reading the previous three installments in the series and the blurb, I thought Nicky James was about to crush me and leave me dead in the wake of AJ's story, however, while the book has some heartbreaking portions, it's not as angsty as I expected, it's not even as angsty as the previous books, so if that's stopping you from reading it, please don't, you'll be missing out otherwise.
AJ ends up at Trystain's doorstep unconscious and drugged out of his mind and Trystain, seeing himself in AJ decides to help him and brings him into his apartment. However, AJ isn't ready to be helped yet and goes back to his own apartment and the drugs he takes refuge in.
After a while, AJ decides he's finally ready to seek help and Trystain takes him in. It isn't easy for either of them and there's more going on with AJ than just his addiction, but Trystain is determined to be there for him every step of the way.
I loved both Trystain and AJ, their backstories were heartbreaking and I just wanted to cuddle them both and make it better. Trystain had such a strength of character and such an easy, friendly way to him and it was nice to see how that helped AJ accept his help. AJ was a sweetheart and stronger than he believed as well, it can't be easy to battle with addiction, especially being faced with temptation so soon after getting clean, and yet, he managed. I adored the slow burn and the progression of both their friendship and how it deepened into more, it was believable and beautiful to see how their relationship grew. They were both sweet and hot and so perfect for each other.
Nicky James did a fantastic job describing AJ under the influence and his journey, it felt realistic and well-researched. Same as everything that Trystain did to help him and his own struggle with addiction even after five years of being clean.
Overall, I can't recommend this book enough. It was brilliantly written, moderately angsty, sweet and emotionally charged and I just couldn't get enough of AJ and Trystain. Highly recommendable!
*** Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
I will admit I was almost afraid of reading this book. After reading the previous three installments in the series and the blurb, I thought Nicky James was about to crush me and leave me dead in the wake of AJ's story, however, while the book has some heartbreaking portions, it's not as angsty as I expected, it's not even as angsty as the previous books, so if that's stopping you from reading it, please don't, you'll be missing out otherwise.
AJ ends up at Trystain's doorstep unconscious and drugged out of his mind and Trystain, seeing himself in AJ decides to help him and brings him into his apartment. However, AJ isn't ready to be helped yet and goes back to his own apartment and the drugs he takes refuge in.
After a while, AJ decides he's finally ready to seek help and Trystain takes him in. It isn't easy for either of them and there's more going on with AJ than just his addiction, but Trystain is determined to be there for him every step of the way.
I loved both Trystain and AJ, their backstories were heartbreaking and I just wanted to cuddle them both and make it better. Trystain had such a strength of character and such an easy, friendly way to him and it was nice to see how that helped AJ accept his help. AJ was a sweetheart and stronger than he believed as well, it can't be easy to battle with addiction, especially being faced with temptation so soon after getting clean, and yet, he managed. I adored the slow burn and the progression of both their friendship and how it deepened into more, it was believable and beautiful to see how their relationship grew. They were both sweet and hot and so perfect for each other.
Nicky James did a fantastic job describing AJ under the influence and his journey, it felt realistic and well-researched. Same as everything that Trystain did to help him and his own struggle with addiction even after five years of being clean.
Overall, I can't recommend this book enough. It was brilliantly written, moderately angsty, sweet and emotionally charged and I just couldn't get enough of AJ and Trystain. Highly recommendable!
*** Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
November 2, 2017
4 1/2 out of 5 stars
This author is new to me, but she crafted a story that I really just couldn't put down. AJ and Trystain’s story is one of heartbreak and struggle that felt so real at times I wanted to reach out and hug both of them.
Parts of this story were so very hard to get through because the realness of the drug addiction and after effects was difficult as a bystander. I can’t imagine ever going through something like this in real life and have so much more sympathy for those who have experienced it. One of my favorite parts of this author’s writing style was the quote she put at the beginning of each chapter that dealt with addiction and it’s effects on people. Some of these quotes were simply beautiful and others really made me acknowledge what was happening -- not just in the story, but in the lives of so many people as well.
This story centers around AJ’s recovery from his drug addiction. Trystain is already in recovery - 5 years strong - and takes it upon himself to help AJ get through his. I appreciated the depth of Trystain’s care and desire to help AJ. I liked that it wasn’t an instant in the sack kind of romance. I liked that the guys really got to know each other and were well aware of the other’s personality and “realness” before they got involved. And the kicker really kicked me!
I can’t wait to go back and read more from this author!
*** I voluntarily read a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review ***
This author is new to me, but she crafted a story that I really just couldn't put down. AJ and Trystain’s story is one of heartbreak and struggle that felt so real at times I wanted to reach out and hug both of them.
Parts of this story were so very hard to get through because the realness of the drug addiction and after effects was difficult as a bystander. I can’t imagine ever going through something like this in real life and have so much more sympathy for those who have experienced it. One of my favorite parts of this author’s writing style was the quote she put at the beginning of each chapter that dealt with addiction and it’s effects on people. Some of these quotes were simply beautiful and others really made me acknowledge what was happening -- not just in the story, but in the lives of so many people as well.
This story centers around AJ’s recovery from his drug addiction. Trystain is already in recovery - 5 years strong - and takes it upon himself to help AJ get through his. I appreciated the depth of Trystain’s care and desire to help AJ. I liked that it wasn’t an instant in the sack kind of romance. I liked that the guys really got to know each other and were well aware of the other’s personality and “realness” before they got involved. And the kicker really kicked me!
I can’t wait to go back and read more from this author!
*** I voluntarily read a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review ***
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