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That Was When People Started to Worry
"In the waiting room, I see a lot of people who I could tell had real, serious Problems. They deserve to be here. I don’t. I’m a fraud. A lazy wreck seeking an excuse for her incompetence. I’m useless." - Abby, 24
Having conducted more than 100 hours of interviews with 60 British women aged 16–25, Nancy Tucker explores what it’s like to suffer from serious mental illness as a young woman. With raw honesty, sensitivity, and humor, That Was When People Started to Worry examines real experiences of anxiety, self-harm, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, binge-eating disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and dissociative identity disorder. Giving a voice to those like Abby who can’t speak out themselves, Tucker presents a unique window into the day-to-day trials of living with an unwell mind.
Having conducted more than 100 hours of interviews with 60 British women aged 16–25, Nancy Tucker explores what it’s like to suffer from serious mental illness as a young woman. With raw honesty, sensitivity, and humor, That Was When People Started to Worry examines real experiences of anxiety, self-harm, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, binge-eating disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and dissociative identity disorder. Giving a voice to those like Abby who can’t speak out themselves, Tucker presents a unique window into the day-to-day trials of living with an unwell mind.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published May 3, 2018
34 people are currently reading
1219 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
November 19, 2018
Nancy Tucker’s first book, The Time in Between (2015), was a wrenching and utterly absorbing eating disorder memoir told in an original blend of forms: cinematic scenes of dialogue and stage directions, schedules, tongue-in-cheek dos and don’ts, imagined interrogations, and so on. She’s recreated that experimental/hybrid style here to capture the experiences of young women with mental health challenges.
At a time when she was still struggling with anorexia and suicidal thoughts, bouncing between her uni room and a psychiatric ward, Tucker felt the need to get beyond her own pain by engaging with others’ problems. She interviewed 70 women aged 16 to 25 for a total of more than 100 hours and chose to anonymize their stories by creating seven composite characters who represent various mental illnesses: depression, bipolar disorder, self-harm, anxiety, eating disorders, PTSD and borderline personality disorder.
Each chapter follows a similar format, focusing on a first-person narrative from the invented character but also interspersing other documents like e-mails, instant messages, conversations with a therapist, a video interview transcript or a self-interrogation. A different font then sets out a few-page section that, in a sardonic tone, suggests the problem really isn’t that serious and is easily solved with a handful of simple tips. After this point Tucker steps out of character to give statistics and commentary on the particular mental illness, as she heard it described by her interviewees. She returns to the character’s voice to close with a “What I wish I could tell you about my [depression, etc.]” section, a heartfelt plea for sympathy.
These stories overlap with each other – anxiety and depression commonly co-occur with other mental illness, for instance. Yasmine’s bipolar means that sometimes she feels like she could run a marathon or write a novel in a few days, while other times she’s plunged into the depths of depression. Neither Abby (depression) nor Freya (anxiety) can face going to work; Maya (BPD, also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder) exhibits many of the symptoms from other chapters, including self-harm and feelings of emptiness.
Tucker is keen to emphasize how complex these disorders are: it’s never just a matter of being sad, having mood swings or seeking attention. She is sensitive to the way that certain ones might be belittled, such as binge eating disorder, which, because it isn’t as clinically recognized as anorexia or bulimia, can be equated with poor self-control. Also, mental health conditions exist on a continuum, so it’s hard to definitively announce a cure. In any case, “A binary perception of mental illness benefits no one,” Tucker explains: “the ‘insane’ may find themselves held at arms’ length, but the ‘sane’ may be denied rapid treatment, or accused of melodrama.”
The details of these narratives can be painful to read, like Georgia and friends browsing Tumblr for ideas of how to cut themselves with razors and take not-quite-overdoses of paracetamol, and Holly’s post-traumatic stress after not-quite-consensual sex with her boyfriend. But the voices are so intimately rendered, and the chapters so perfectly balanced between the general and the fictionalized particulars, that they illuminate mental health crises in a uniquely powerful way.
Reading this has helped me to understand friends’ and acquaintances’ behavior. I’ll keep it on the shelf as an invaluable reference book in the years to come. Based on what I’ve read thus far, this is my frontrunner for next year’s Wellcome Book Prize, which “aims to excite public interest and encourage debate around [medical] topics.” That Was When People Started to Worry seems to me to be just what the prize is looking for, as “Books that find stories in those brushes with medicine are ones that add new meaning to what it means to be human.”
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
At a time when she was still struggling with anorexia and suicidal thoughts, bouncing between her uni room and a psychiatric ward, Tucker felt the need to get beyond her own pain by engaging with others’ problems. She interviewed 70 women aged 16 to 25 for a total of more than 100 hours and chose to anonymize their stories by creating seven composite characters who represent various mental illnesses: depression, bipolar disorder, self-harm, anxiety, eating disorders, PTSD and borderline personality disorder.
Each chapter follows a similar format, focusing on a first-person narrative from the invented character but also interspersing other documents like e-mails, instant messages, conversations with a therapist, a video interview transcript or a self-interrogation. A different font then sets out a few-page section that, in a sardonic tone, suggests the problem really isn’t that serious and is easily solved with a handful of simple tips. After this point Tucker steps out of character to give statistics and commentary on the particular mental illness, as she heard it described by her interviewees. She returns to the character’s voice to close with a “What I wish I could tell you about my [depression, etc.]” section, a heartfelt plea for sympathy.
These stories overlap with each other – anxiety and depression commonly co-occur with other mental illness, for instance. Yasmine’s bipolar means that sometimes she feels like she could run a marathon or write a novel in a few days, while other times she’s plunged into the depths of depression. Neither Abby (depression) nor Freya (anxiety) can face going to work; Maya (BPD, also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder) exhibits many of the symptoms from other chapters, including self-harm and feelings of emptiness.
Tucker is keen to emphasize how complex these disorders are: it’s never just a matter of being sad, having mood swings or seeking attention. She is sensitive to the way that certain ones might be belittled, such as binge eating disorder, which, because it isn’t as clinically recognized as anorexia or bulimia, can be equated with poor self-control. Also, mental health conditions exist on a continuum, so it’s hard to definitively announce a cure. In any case, “A binary perception of mental illness benefits no one,” Tucker explains: “the ‘insane’ may find themselves held at arms’ length, but the ‘sane’ may be denied rapid treatment, or accused of melodrama.”
The details of these narratives can be painful to read, like Georgia and friends browsing Tumblr for ideas of how to cut themselves with razors and take not-quite-overdoses of paracetamol, and Holly’s post-traumatic stress after not-quite-consensual sex with her boyfriend. But the voices are so intimately rendered, and the chapters so perfectly balanced between the general and the fictionalized particulars, that they illuminate mental health crises in a uniquely powerful way.
Reading this has helped me to understand friends’ and acquaintances’ behavior. I’ll keep it on the shelf as an invaluable reference book in the years to come. Based on what I’ve read thus far, this is my frontrunner for next year’s Wellcome Book Prize, which “aims to excite public interest and encourage debate around [medical] topics.” That Was When People Started to Worry seems to me to be just what the prize is looking for, as “Books that find stories in those brushes with medicine are ones that add new meaning to what it means to be human.”
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
June 26, 2019
Not quite what I expected, which is perhaps why this didn't work as well for me as Tucker's The Time in Between. In That Was When People Started to Worry, Tucker pulled on dozens of interviews to tell stories about people with various mental health challenges. Each chapter offers a narrative, a sarcastic how-to guide, and a brief 'what I'd like you to know'. They're thoughtful and well-researched portraits, but the variety of formats (scripts, etc., as well as straight narrative) felt more gimmicky to me than in The Time in Between, and I was a little surprised to find a set of composites written by one author rather than individual essays written by numerous authors, or even individual portraits written by one author rather than composite portraits. Still, hopefully this will land in many libraries; seems like something that could be useful.
February 21, 2021
This was a unique way to go about writing on different mental illnesses and Nancy Tucker really did do justice to the women she interviewed. I would say that if I was recommending this book to friends, and I certainly would, the chapter on PTSD does contain uncomfortable and vivid descriptions of sexual assault which, had I known beforehand, I would likely have chosen to skip past the chapter altogether. So just a heads up if you did want to read this book - it will resonate differently for different people and so some level of caution is needed.
March 5, 2020
As someone with a few mental illnesses I loved the way this was written. It’s nice that it was in-depth but short stories on each persons experience. It encapsulates so many disorders without exactly speaking of them. I really recommend it to learn more abiut what it’s like to be mentally ill. She busts lots of myths - especially in the chapters on BPD and self destructive behaviours.
May 4, 2022
7 descriptions of mental health problems in young women, each followed by the author’s insights, then what the person would like people to know about their condition. Informative and compassionate.
January 15, 2022
A bit intense, and quite triggering for some people, I should imagine. I learned a lot from these first hand accounts though.
November 22, 2020
A very insightful read!
My favourite quote in this book, which really resonated with me, was
I found that some character stories were difficult to read because of the parallels I could draw to my own experiences and life. Some character stories were also shocking to read because I thought, "That can't be real, can it?", which really highlighted that there is no "one size fits all" for understanding mental illness. I think that the author did an exceptional job in writing the short stories. I found the discussion section at the end of each story useful for understanding the creation of the character, the disorder, the assumptions people can make about them, and what people with those disorders want others to know.
Very insightful and thought-provoking!
My favourite quote in this book, which really resonated with me, was
I found that some character stories were difficult to read because of the parallels I could draw to my own experiences and life. Some character stories were also shocking to read because I thought, "That can't be real, can it?", which really highlighted that there is no "one size fits all" for understanding mental illness. I think that the author did an exceptional job in writing the short stories. I found the discussion section at the end of each story useful for understanding the creation of the character, the disorder, the assumptions people can make about them, and what people with those disorders want others to know.
Very insightful and thought-provoking!
February 18, 2019
Tucker’s style is unique. Each chapter represents a different mental illness and she has used lots of interviews with sufferers of each illness to create a monologue inside the mind of someone afflicted. At the end of the chapter there is a section about misconceptions, and a section titled “what I wish I could tell you about my (insert illness)”. This is really well done.
I agreed entirely with Tucker’s words at the start of the book, when she talks about how even though people post supportive things on social media all the time about mental health issues, there is still a lot of stigma and a long way to go. The misconceptions in particular are presented so accurately.
I’d recommend proceeding with caution with this one if you’ve been exposed to mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, self harm, bipolar, PTSD, BPD, or eating disorders. Some of the content is super triggering.
I agreed entirely with Tucker’s words at the start of the book, when she talks about how even though people post supportive things on social media all the time about mental health issues, there is still a lot of stigma and a long way to go. The misconceptions in particular are presented so accurately.
I’d recommend proceeding with caution with this one if you’ve been exposed to mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, self harm, bipolar, PTSD, BPD, or eating disorders. Some of the content is super triggering.
July 27, 2025
This was an insightful look into the lived experience of those with a range of mental health conditions. Each condition is presented as a narrative, told through a character who has been created as an amalgamation of the people interviewed by the author, and each one is a distinct story and persona. The sections end with discussion of the issue, some tongue in cheek responses to common misconceptions and 'things I wish I could tell you' about each condition. Really useful for understanding mental illness in yourself or others.
August 17, 2019
A book that covers a number of mental health illnesses written from the perspective of many different woman. It is honest, difficult to read at times and very insightful. This is a book we all should read as none of us will not be affected by mental illness in one way or another, either ourselves or people we know.
October 27, 2020
More people need to hear these stories
Nancy provides a balanced yet compassionate view of various mental illness. I have gained a better understanding and am grateful for her humour and storytelling.
Nancy provides a balanced yet compassionate view of various mental illness. I have gained a better understanding and am grateful for her humour and storytelling.
January 24, 2022
Winter reading program prompt #4: Nonfiction 600’s.
I rarely read nonfiction and ended up choosing this book for my own education and understanding, and it fit the bill! The author interviewed 70 women during her research to write this book on mental health disorders. Each chapter, given a woman’s name, is told from the perspective of a woman with a particular mental health condition, and the “narrator” is actually a conglomerate of several interviewees. Each chapter ends with discussion of the featured mental health disorder- sometimes straightforward, sometimes satirical. Recommend for those interested in mental health. Included conditions are depression, self-harm, anxiety, eating disorder, bipolar, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder. 3.5 stars because I don’t love nonfiction, rounded up for importance/educational significance.
I rarely read nonfiction and ended up choosing this book for my own education and understanding, and it fit the bill! The author interviewed 70 women during her research to write this book on mental health disorders. Each chapter, given a woman’s name, is told from the perspective of a woman with a particular mental health condition, and the “narrator” is actually a conglomerate of several interviewees. Each chapter ends with discussion of the featured mental health disorder- sometimes straightforward, sometimes satirical. Recommend for those interested in mental health. Included conditions are depression, self-harm, anxiety, eating disorder, bipolar, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder. 3.5 stars because I don’t love nonfiction, rounded up for importance/educational significance.
July 2, 2025
A unique premise, taking multiple interviews with women suffering with various mental maladies, and merging their stories together to create one character for each chapter, which each chapter being designated to one disorder from Anxiety to PTSD and more. What made this five stars for me was when I read the eating disorder chapter. I suffered with bulimia and various other forms of disordered eating for 25 years. I have NEVER heard it described so accurately as I did here. I had to stop at multiple points with my jaw on the floor. As someone who has also suffered with various other mental health issues throughout my life, the visceral descriptions of them were also alarmingly true to life in ways I’ve never seen expressed before. The nuances and strangeness of the emotions and thought processes that I was guilty of thinking were unique to me. I felt strangely soothed by this book.
August 31, 2019
Seven stories, and five of them felt so close to my heart and so achingly true of my experience that Nancy must have interviewed me too, without me knowing. An interesting format for a book - for each diagnosis experience explored, there was a few pages of story/play/text insight to the fictionalised character representing the diagnosis experience, a few pages of more informing and research-driven explanation by the author, a snarky cut-back at stigma with "But isn't *diagnosis* just *everyday experience*" and some key points about what those living with the diagnosis want to have known.
February 4, 2023
“In my experience, being a young woman is, at best, challenging and, at worst, agonising”
Very accurate descriptions of mental illness. Even without having that specific illness yourself, there are lots of elements that are very relatable. Love the characterisation, seeing the internal side of it and what people experience. Really humanises a lot of misunderstood illnesses, especially BPD and bipolar. Everyone should read !!!
Very accurate descriptions of mental illness. Even without having that specific illness yourself, there are lots of elements that are very relatable. Love the characterisation, seeing the internal side of it and what people experience. Really humanises a lot of misunderstood illnesses, especially BPD and bipolar. Everyone should read !!!
April 23, 2019
This book was the most engaging and honest account of mental illness that I have come across. It was relatable and engaging, and covers a lot of struggles in a way that doesn’t sensationalise or glamourise mental illness. I loved reading something that put into words feelings I have not been able to express. The book also helped me understand the struggles of others .
May 27, 2023
A really invaluable resource for therapists and general readers alike. Gained from over 70 interviews with young women living with mental health conditions, Tucker uses the results of her interviews to give really clear vignettes about common mental health conditions. Well described, painfully so at times, it's a must read on an empathy level alone.
February 23, 2021
This is a rollercoaster of a book. I'm currently going through my own mental struggles so you may think my judgement is clouded by bias, but I'd wager that anyone would pick this up and feel something that touches their own lives in each story.
March 11, 2023
Nancy Tucker does a good job of writing about different mental illnesses. She also helps us learn that though people may be diagnosed with the same illness that doesn’t mean everyone experiences them the same. I recommend the book to anyone who wants to learn more whether patient or advocate.
July 4, 2018
Cleverly compiled and a rounded look at mental health. Definitely one to approach with caution if you've suffered yourself as elements are particularly triggering.
November 30, 2020
There is no DID (dissociative identity disorder) representation in this book, but other than that it was a wonderful read. Hopefully the blurb gets corrected.
January 14, 2021
Found it very triggering
November 24, 2021
Thank you for speaking for the voices that get drowned out by the society. Thank you.
July 2, 2023
Triggering and poorly written
August 15, 2023
Good, but stereotyped, except for the binge eating disorder, which was nice to see included instead of the other EDs.
June 23, 2025
Just read the chapter Beth disordered eating. Not quite at the standard that I find interesting. Some morsels of interest, but otherwise excessively plaintiff. Also, gendered.
March 10, 2023
For this book, Tucker has interviewed over 70 people and why she could not represent all of the women in her book she has done her best with the examples she does have.
Due to its multiple and often serious subject matter, this was on occasion a harrowing read. What Tucker does portray well is the mindset of her subjects at a particular point in time and following their train of thought which humanises them beyond what is written on the page. However, this small window into a moment in time is also a weakness so that after reading this the individual stories can blur somewhat.
I did find the layout confusing as you do need to read a little into the chapter to know which aspect of mental health it addresses. The author also has a conclusion in the final pages of the chapter but as this was not signposted it can be confusing for the first few chapters until you realise what is happening.
Due to its multiple and often serious subject matter, this was on occasion a harrowing read. What Tucker does portray well is the mindset of her subjects at a particular point in time and following their train of thought which humanises them beyond what is written on the page. However, this small window into a moment in time is also a weakness so that after reading this the individual stories can blur somewhat.
I did find the layout confusing as you do need to read a little into the chapter to know which aspect of mental health it addresses. The author also has a conclusion in the final pages of the chapter but as this was not signposted it can be confusing for the first few chapters until you realise what is happening.
February 10, 2021
I knew I loved this book when I started it many months ago
It reminded me of all the pain I've experienced and how far I still have to go, but it told me I am not alone
I want other people to read it so they understand, and so maybe they feel understood
It is a beautiful, painful book and I'm so glad I read it
It reminded me of all the pain I've experienced and how far I still have to go, but it told me I am not alone
I want other people to read it so they understand, and so maybe they feel understood
It is a beautiful, painful book and I'm so glad I read it
January 11, 2019
Fictionalised composites drawn from interviews with multiple women. Wasn't what I was expecting or hoping for, really. Reads like a book of fictional short stories, whereas I was expecting more of an investigative journalism type thing.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews