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Honeybee
Having been previously described as an "aggressively personal poet", Trista Mateer takes this to heart and then to paper in her first collection. Presented more or less in the order it was written, the poetry in Honeybee is in turns bitter, tender, and messy. Following the course of a little more than a year, the poems showcased in Honeybee chronicle the on-again off-again process of letting go.
160 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 11, 2014
161 people are currently reading
11467 people want to read
About the author
Trista Mateer
17 books1,394 followersTrista Mateer is the bestselling author of multiple poetry collections, including Aphrodite Made Me Do It and Honeybee. She is a passionate mental health advocate, currently writing in South Carolina. Connect with her on Instagram and Tiktok @tristamateer or at tristamateer.com.
Her newest collection, Artemis Made Me Do It, is available for preorder now and releases in September 2022!
Her newest collection, Artemis Made Me Do It, is available for preorder now and releases in September 2022!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 862 reviews
June 23, 2025
Pick this in a whim because the book cover is enticing. And a thing about me is that: I love genius lyricists. I could listen and analyze Taylor Swift’s creative writing in her songs, or Namjoon's play words even when I’ve never been in said position of what they're conveying.
However, I've come to realize that love poems are really hard to break through. I'm not sure if it's because of the writing style (not a fan of modern poetry, honestly) or the nature of the poems itself (because single pringle don't wanna mingle here). And I believe works like this would resonate better with people who are going through the same thing as through time and time, I find myself pissing and bored.
Honeybee explores more than just the theme of love, loss and heartbreak as it also deals with healing and changing. Nevertheless, I find some of the messages repetitive and I couldn't see much evolution in the poems. This is pretty much stereotypical Tumblr posts that had its metaphors repeat again and over. It's about someone who was unable to move on from past lovers over the course of years and as a result, penned a couple hundred poems about it in various forms. That's what.
But then again, I acknowledged that poetry is such a subjective thing and whatever written will always get back to what the author was feeling and trying to divulge at the time. It was never about me. Even so, I still believe this book should be read when you're in the same shoes as the author or you'll feel absolutely disconnected. Too bad it didn't work out for me.
However, I've come to realize that love poems are really hard to break through. I'm not sure if it's because of the writing style (not a fan of modern poetry, honestly) or the nature of the poems itself (because single pringle don't wanna mingle here). And I believe works like this would resonate better with people who are going through the same thing as through time and time, I find myself pissing and bored.
Honeybee explores more than just the theme of love, loss and heartbreak as it also deals with healing and changing. Nevertheless, I find some of the messages repetitive and I couldn't see much evolution in the poems. This is pretty much stereotypical Tumblr posts that had its metaphors repeat again and over. It's about someone who was unable to move on from past lovers over the course of years and as a result, penned a couple hundred poems about it in various forms. That's what.
But then again, I acknowledged that poetry is such a subjective thing and whatever written will always get back to what the author was feeling and trying to divulge at the time. It was never about me. Even so, I still believe this book should be read when you're in the same shoes as the author or you'll feel absolutely disconnected. Too bad it didn't work out for me.
February 24, 2022
l 88% l
this was…hard to read. there were multiple times where i had to put it down and read something else because it was just too much for me to handle. it touched down on a lot of really intense emotions and some of the things that scare us the most. healing and letting go can be really painful and scary, even if it all turns out okay in the end, and i could really feel that during this collection.
this poetry collection is not only beautiful and heartbreaking to read, but it rings true on so many levels because it is so clear that the author poured their heart and soul into this collection. poetry is one of the most personal kinds of writing that exists, and it really shows in Honeybee.
now, i haven’t read a lot of poetry, ive always said that it’s not my thing, i think because the kind of poetry i would be forced to read in school didn’t really resonate with me, but this hit me really hard. i was feeling everything. i also read Milk and Honey recently, and that had a similar effect on me.
Honeybee is about love, loss, and healing. it is about letting go of somebody and it is about heartbreak and it is about self-love and it is about acceptance. it is painful and it is beautiful and it is challenging. the journey the author has had to go through to get to this point is challenging. it is difficult and it hurts, and i understand how they felt selfish or shameful in putting their story out there, because why would one person have a right to when so many others suffer the same? but what the author has done is provided a safe haven and a collection where people feel heard and understood and feel that they are not alone in their heartbreak and pain. i know that this collection and these words that the author has written ring true to so many people, and rings true to me.
the author also writes about their experiences with bisexuality and biphobia. those words were some of the most beautiful because it describes bisexuality in a way that makes many people feel seen. and the biphobia was also heartbreaking to read about because it is so, so true that people will act like that and do that and not accept people for who they are. it’s disgusting and it happens to so many people and i am glad that the author addressed their experiences with it because that needed to be heard.
this collection is a journey through heartbreak and healing and all of the challenges along the way, and it is deeply personal. it is so deeply personal to the author that it transfers over to the reader and the reader can feel the emotion in those pages.
i recommend this book to anyone who has ever loved and lost.
____________________________
4.5 stars
tw for biphobia, homophobia, etc
this was…hard to read. there were multiple times where i had to put it down and read something else because it was just too much for me to handle. it touched down on a lot of really intense emotions and some of the things that scare us the most. healing and letting go can be really painful and scary, even if it all turns out okay in the end, and i could really feel that during this collection.
this poetry collection is not only beautiful and heartbreaking to read, but it rings true on so many levels because it is so clear that the author poured their heart and soul into this collection. poetry is one of the most personal kinds of writing that exists, and it really shows in Honeybee.
now, i haven’t read a lot of poetry, ive always said that it’s not my thing, i think because the kind of poetry i would be forced to read in school didn’t really resonate with me, but this hit me really hard. i was feeling everything. i also read Milk and Honey recently, and that had a similar effect on me.
Honeybee is about love, loss, and healing. it is about letting go of somebody and it is about heartbreak and it is about self-love and it is about acceptance. it is painful and it is beautiful and it is challenging. the journey the author has had to go through to get to this point is challenging. it is difficult and it hurts, and i understand how they felt selfish or shameful in putting their story out there, because why would one person have a right to when so many others suffer the same? but what the author has done is provided a safe haven and a collection where people feel heard and understood and feel that they are not alone in their heartbreak and pain. i know that this collection and these words that the author has written ring true to so many people, and rings true to me.
the author also writes about their experiences with bisexuality and biphobia. those words were some of the most beautiful because it describes bisexuality in a way that makes many people feel seen. and the biphobia was also heartbreaking to read about because it is so, so true that people will act like that and do that and not accept people for who they are. it’s disgusting and it happens to so many people and i am glad that the author addressed their experiences with it because that needed to be heard.
this collection is a journey through heartbreak and healing and all of the challenges along the way, and it is deeply personal. it is so deeply personal to the author that it transfers over to the reader and the reader can feel the emotion in those pages.
i recommend this book to anyone who has ever loved and lost.
____________________________
4.5 stars
tw for biphobia, homophobia, etc
February 2, 2015
This fucking book. THIS. FUCKING. BOOK. I don't know what I expected going into it because I had never read any of Trista's work but, oh my sweet lord, I read the first poem and I was hooked. I finished it in like, ten minutes, and cried at almost every poem. Somehow, this fucking incredible girl that I have never met in my life managed to capture all of my feelings and wrap them all up into this cute little package that is Honeybee. I'm the type of person who will ignore things and pretend my feelings aren't there but when I read those poems, let me tell you, my heart was like, "yo... Olivia... you've got some shit to deal with. And Trista fuckin' Mateer pretty much explained all of them." It was amazing. Best revelation ever. I think the best part about all of the fuckin' heartbreak that happened in Honeybee was that I had felt all of it, too. For the ten minutes I spent completely gluuuued to this book, Trista and I were going through everything together. It was like we were best friends who just happened to have synced our romantic issues somehow. It reminded me that no matter how shitty and alone I feel sometimes, I'm never really alone. It reminded me that the crappy things I go through can be turned into beautiful art that could make someone else realize they're not alone, too. Trista is a genius in terms of connecting to complete strangers through poetry and I will continue to read everything she writes and probably cry at all of it.
October 5, 2018
"I still remember you as a little girl,
Who overwaters plants,
Because she doesn't know when to stop giving."
What a lovely little book. Honeybee is a collection of poems about different subjects. The author zooms in on love, in particular, heartbreak, for most of the book, but other subjects, such as bisexuality and femininity, are also discussed.
It sometimes amazes me how poetry novels with so little words and not many pages can evoke more emotions than a full-length novel.
This book is beautiful. I want to highlight every page, every word.
The words seem familiar. The sentences make you nostalgic. The prose is simple but very effective and doesn't leave you unfeeling.
" So this is it.
This is the end of my love letters to things that don't exist anymore.
Honey,
we don't exist anymore."
I believe Trista Mateer has a way with words. Or words have a way with her. Everything feels so personal and intimate. This is poetry at its best. So little needed to make you feel every single word. Her writing is similar to Rupi Kaur and Robert M. Drake.
"You are not the moon or the sun, a planet or a dwarf star. You are a girl too far away, with chapped lips and messy skin and yellow hair - and I love you. Maybe that is the same thing."
A recommendation if you like flowery prose and not a too difficult poetry novel.
4 stars.
Who overwaters plants,
Because she doesn't know when to stop giving."
What a lovely little book. Honeybee is a collection of poems about different subjects. The author zooms in on love, in particular, heartbreak, for most of the book, but other subjects, such as bisexuality and femininity, are also discussed.
It sometimes amazes me how poetry novels with so little words and not many pages can evoke more emotions than a full-length novel.
This book is beautiful. I want to highlight every page, every word.
The words seem familiar. The sentences make you nostalgic. The prose is simple but very effective and doesn't leave you unfeeling.
" So this is it.
This is the end of my love letters to things that don't exist anymore.
Honey,
we don't exist anymore."
I believe Trista Mateer has a way with words. Or words have a way with her. Everything feels so personal and intimate. This is poetry at its best. So little needed to make you feel every single word. Her writing is similar to Rupi Kaur and Robert M. Drake.
"You are not the moon or the sun, a planet or a dwarf star. You are a girl too far away, with chapped lips and messy skin and yellow hair - and I love you. Maybe that is the same thing."
A recommendation if you like flowery prose and not a too difficult poetry novel.
4 stars.
February 13, 2022
« You call it a sin when we kiss
and you only hear the word unholy
in your mother’s voice.
What a slow way to die, baby.
Day after day after day. »
(3.5) yeah, i cried. a lot. 🙂
and you only hear the word unholy
in your mother’s voice.
What a slow way to die, baby.
Day after day after day. »
(3.5) yeah, i cried. a lot. 🙂
January 24, 2016
This just wasn't for me... There was no poetic tone to any of the poems; they all read like Facebook statuses or notes/emails.
A lot of the poems seemed redundant, also: seemed like some lines from one poem were repurposed in another poem and such.
A lot of the poems seemed redundant, also: seemed like some lines from one poem were repurposed in another poem and such.
June 12, 2018
This collection hit a little close to home, as it was about leaving someone and trying to get over it and how that happens in waves.
These weren't really "pretty poems" in that they didn't read lyrically. And some of them were a little repetitive, but for the most part I enjoyed it.
These weren't really "pretty poems" in that they didn't read lyrically. And some of them were a little repetitive, but for the most part I enjoyed it.
April 5, 2018
I liked this collection, but I definitely did not love it. And to be completely honestly, I only fault this collection because it did not satisfy my own personal taste.
First of all, I would like to say that I think Trista Mateer is a very talented poet; however, I think because majority of these poems were inspired by her bitter breakup with her ex-girlfriend, the book as a whole left me feeling like she was obsessed. Was she? Who knows. Probably not but that's how it read to me. I felt overwhelmed 15% in because it was just too much for one book.
I couldn't really appreciate the other impactful messages she was trying to convey because there was a lot written about her ex, and it felt quite repetitive most of the time. It's a shame because she briefly mentions other controversial points throughout, for example: labels. She mentions the use of the "b" word (eh em... bisexuality). I identity with the "s" word (straight, people, I'm straight), but I was really intrigued in reading a collection of poems about love and loss from a bisexual woman's standpoint. Let's be honest, there aren't too many bisexual poets that are being published these days, and I wanted to show my support. However, I thought it was a little bit of a letdown when the bitter poems about her ex overshadowed the many other messages that MANY other girls would have related to and appreciated - especially because some poems reference the fact that religion played a role in their breakup.
Aside from that, I really enjoyed the formatting of her poetry and use of punctuation. Her poems read quite nicely, and I freaking loved all of the titles she gave to every poem.
Anyways, I still think this is a powerful collection that everyone should give a read - especially those dealing with the struggles of coming out. I feel like you will either love these poems or just feel meh about them. Bottom line, love is love and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
One of my favourite poems:
Another Obligatory Poem Comparing A Girl
To Something Consumable
She was the whiskey:
a hard hit with a slow burn
I was the chase.
Thanks a million to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-ARC. Quotes are subject to change upon publication.
First of all, I would like to say that I think Trista Mateer is a very talented poet; however, I think because majority of these poems were inspired by her bitter breakup with her ex-girlfriend, the book as a whole left me feeling like she was obsessed. Was she? Who knows. Probably not but that's how it read to me. I felt overwhelmed 15% in because it was just too much for one book.
I couldn't really appreciate the other impactful messages she was trying to convey because there was a lot written about her ex, and it felt quite repetitive most of the time. It's a shame because she briefly mentions other controversial points throughout, for example: labels. She mentions the use of the "b" word (eh em... bisexuality). I identity with the "s" word (straight, people, I'm straight), but I was really intrigued in reading a collection of poems about love and loss from a bisexual woman's standpoint. Let's be honest, there aren't too many bisexual poets that are being published these days, and I wanted to show my support. However, I thought it was a little bit of a letdown when the bitter poems about her ex overshadowed the many other messages that MANY other girls would have related to and appreciated - especially because some poems reference the fact that religion played a role in their breakup.
Aside from that, I really enjoyed the formatting of her poetry and use of punctuation. Her poems read quite nicely, and I freaking loved all of the titles she gave to every poem.
Anyways, I still think this is a powerful collection that everyone should give a read - especially those dealing with the struggles of coming out. I feel like you will either love these poems or just feel meh about them. Bottom line, love is love and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
One of my favourite poems:
Another Obligatory Poem Comparing A Girl
To Something Consumable
She was the whiskey:
a hard hit with a slow burn
I was the chase.
Thanks a million to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-ARC. Quotes are subject to change upon publication.
July 23, 2018
These poems were laced with a intimacy only a friend sobbing in your arms could convey. Honeybee is about loving someone dangerously and dealing with what happens after. The author describes falling in love and all of the joys that brings. Her relationship was everything until her Honeybee decided that Christianity and societal norms meant it wasn't. While reading these poems I remembered my own experiences of heartbreak and felt relieved while reading that those feelings of despair has dissipated with time.
"I want things that you disapprove of and you want things that I cannot give you."
The poems are simple but impactful. This volume included polished thoughts, handwritten feelings and illustrations throughout. Poetry is hard to rate, but any prose that makes you feel, remember and think is worth your time. Love is universal so there is something in these poems for everyone.
Shedding
Giving my things back:
I am too heavy to carry
under the
weight
of all this new happiness.
I was as close as skin to you once.
Recommended for Readers who
- enjoy modern poetry
- can deal with intimate musings on love
- aren't afraid to revisit their own heartbreak
January 29, 2021
"when i met you, i was something small and whole.
i do not know how to get back there."
es un poemario hermoso donde la autora nos habla sobre muchas etapas de su vida como depresiva, separación y enamorarse nuevamente y realmente tiene poemas hermosos
i do not know how to get back there."
es un poemario hermoso donde la autora nos habla sobre muchas etapas de su vida como depresiva, separación y enamorarse nuevamente y realmente tiene poemas hermosos
![Profile Image for Jessi ❤️ H. Vojsk [if villain, why hot?].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1746468325i%2F66224803._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
February 21, 2024
Love was a museum
where we took down the art
that was there before us
and played masterpiece
with all the empty space.
Not my favorite Trista Mateer book, but still good.
where we took down the art
that was there before us
and played masterpiece
with all the empty space.
Not my favorite Trista Mateer book, but still good.
September 4, 2018
➳ 3 1/2 stars // ⚡️
Blog | Bloglovin’ | Tumblr | Instagram
Blog | Bloglovin’ | Tumblr | Instagram
February 4, 2018
Not bad, not great. Not mad I read it, not something I connected to emotionally. Not recommended, but then again just not my cup of tea.
July 20, 2019
There’s educated, well crafted poetry and then there’s “tumblr girl” poetry. This is tumblr girl poetry.
December 1, 2025
“You may have been part of the healing but you don’t get to be a part of what’s healed”
I-
I-
June 17, 2022
“reminder for times like this:
embrace the days
on which you are still hurting.
sore muscles have always
been a sign of growth.”
this era of poetry seems to be full of poetry we have seen before but when it hits you, it just hits you. this was one of these collections.
embrace the days
on which you are still hurting.
sore muscles have always
been a sign of growth.”
this era of poetry seems to be full of poetry we have seen before but when it hits you, it just hits you. this was one of these collections.
February 22, 2024
i normally don’t love modern poetry but this story absolutely wrecked me
May 13, 2018
A true gem! I went into this blindly. I’ve never read anything else by the author but am so glad that I can finally say I have and that I started with Honeybee. For anyone who recently experienced a break up or are still trying to get over one, this book does such a good job of capturing what it’s like to be in the process of getting over someone and the liberating feeling when you have. I love the light it sheds on sexuality. I adored this. Looking forward to more from this poet.
March 21, 2024
3.5! i have really mixed feelings about this one. some lines were crazy good, but the poems as a whole kept me wanting more. some of them did feel like a rupi kaur type poem, and i wish so much of it hadn't been that. i also wanted different themes to crop up in this collection and it was mostly just...the same breakup being discussed. despite that, i still liked it more than i expected to. i saw another reviewer say that if they were going to read a style of "instagram poetry", they'd have it be trista mateer's poetry, and i think that sums up my feelings perfectly.
November 18, 2018
Now, I am not very experienced with reading and writing about poetry, but for me, Honeybee was certainly a treasure. This book centers around Trista Mateer's past relationship with someone she loved so dearly. It was visible on every page how much emotions and feelings Mateer had in this relationship. I find it admirable how she was able to translate these feelings into the poetry in Honeybee.
What I like about this poetry collection is that it feels contemporary, yet it is not shallow. It feels very honest, even if the truth is a little ugly at times.
I recommend Honeybee if you are interested in an LGBT poetry collection, and actually, people who are not so interested in LGBT poetry too, because it's never wrong to sympathize with others, and overall Honeybee is just a ride on a rollercoaster through emotions that constitute a relationship. The rating I gave Honeybee is 4/5 stars.
What I like about this poetry collection is that it feels contemporary, yet it is not shallow. It feels very honest, even if the truth is a little ugly at times.
I recommend Honeybee if you are interested in an LGBT poetry collection, and actually, people who are not so interested in LGBT poetry too, because it's never wrong to sympathize with others, and overall Honeybee is just a ride on a rollercoaster through emotions that constitute a relationship. The rating I gave Honeybee is 4/5 stars.
January 24, 2018
I didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did, but here I am.
Some books of poetry just speak to you, you don't necessarily know why, but they do. This one did. This is the one book of poetry I didn't know I needed until I started reading it.
It's beautiful, it's elegant ... but it's also a heartbreak, waves of tears, hours of wishing for something that isn't anymore. It's poetry that speaks to humanity.
It's small but poignant at the same time. It's the first time I've read poems about bisexuality, about biphobia, bi-erasure ... these are things we need to talk about, even in poetry.
I am so glad this found its way to me!
You may have been part of the healing but you don’t get to be a part of what’s healed.
4/5
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-copy in exchange for an honest review.
Some books of poetry just speak to you, you don't necessarily know why, but they do. This one did. This is the one book of poetry I didn't know I needed until I started reading it.
It's beautiful, it's elegant ... but it's also a heartbreak, waves of tears, hours of wishing for something that isn't anymore. It's poetry that speaks to humanity.
It's small but poignant at the same time. It's the first time I've read poems about bisexuality, about biphobia, bi-erasure ... these are things we need to talk about, even in poetry.
I am so glad this found its way to me!
You may have been part of the healing but you don’t get to be a part of what’s healed.
4/5
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-copy in exchange for an honest review.
September 29, 2018
I went into Honeybee thinking that this would be an amazing read but...
At most I came out of this wishing for Trista Mateer to find happiness.
At most I came out of this wishing for Trista Mateer to find happiness.
December 8, 2019
"I’ve been reading your poems.
You’re proper heartbroken, aren’t you?”
This collection of poems was whiny and didn't have any structure in my opinion.
September 26, 2018
full review to come
June 11, 2018
Trista Mateer's only competition is Trista Mateer. Wow.
September 20, 2022
the only poem I liked:
"There is an emptiness here
that I swear was not there before
and I am doing my best
to fill it"
"There is an emptiness here
that I swear was not there before
and I am doing my best
to fill it"
June 15, 2020
I don't think this book is a collection of poems, it more the beginning and end of a relationship between a bisexual woman and her former female lover. Her lover seems to have broken up with her and is about to get married to a man.
The author goes on and on about how said she feels and how sorry she is forever feeling any type of love for her ex (This might just stem from my frozen heart but, girl move on). Although I do have to put out that I really enjoyed this book, as it did point out a few things such as the way her mother treated her after finding out that she is bisexual and also the sense of loss that one can feel about not being seen or heard.
The author goes on and on about how said she feels and how sorry she is forever feeling any type of love for her ex (This might just stem from my frozen heart but, girl move on). Although I do have to put out that I really enjoyed this book, as it did point out a few things such as the way her mother treated her after finding out that she is bisexual and also the sense of loss that one can feel about not being seen or heard.
June 14, 2018
Coming Home
It took me too long to realize it was not
romantic(, tender, or healthy)
to love someone else more than I loved myself.
•
I started this without much knowledge about Trista Mateer, I'd never read any of her poetry before so I wasn't sure what to expect. The collection of poetry in Honeybee goes through the process one goes through when letting go after heartbreak, after love. And honestly, I found myself not really understanding that process until the end.
For the majority of the collection, I found myself wondering if love itself, for Mateer, was like balancing precariously along the edge of a blade's edge, teetering back and forth between closure and obsession, letting go and giving in. There seemed to be a form of narrative to follow, a detail exposed with each poem that built the story as a whole.
I think one of the main reasons I didn't understand the process of letting go until the end was because of that, each poem giving me a little bit more to understand each time. Now, it makes sense to me that sometimes the process of letting go is just to let yourself feel, to teeter along that edge until you're reading to let go and fall in any which way. And you'd fall, no matter if you healed completely or if there was still that part of you that remained stuck. It was you letting go.
"there's no use forcing it before it's ready."
It also wasn't always about letting go of her love for an ex-girlfriend, because that is not the only relationship which you have to find yourself letting go of. Mateer also brings in her own family, her mother and grandmother, her other relationships and how they impact how she handles herself and how she takes on the emotions she's feeling.
It gives a contrast look at how one who is holding onto secrets about their own identity and battling with ordinary emotions like heartbreak and love cannot go about it in an ordinary way. It's a bittersweet truth, that not everyone has the luxury to pound through those barriers that close them in a precious little box for the sake of everyone else's previous little box.
"She says, I SUPPORT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER BUT I DON'T AGREE WITH IT AND I DON'T THINK IT'S RIGHT. I say, then you don't really support me, and she doesn't say anything."
I highlighted a lot of lines while I was reading this, some sticking with me a lot more profoundly than others as a pillar in Mateer's story, major points in her journey of moving on.
"You're not my biggest heartbreak anymore.
What a delicate relief to both of us."
I loved the poem titles as well – they were clever and I liked that they became a part of the poem as well. The use of capitals to convey emotion in turmoil and the clever placement of it really gave the poetry more gravity. I also loved the use of the images to show the handwritten poetry, with it's crossed out and feeling that even words aren't always easy to get down onto paper right the first time.
I really enjoyed this collection and feel I would very much enjoy reading more poetry by Mateer.
•
Some of my favourite lines and poems from Honeybee that I just want to note which I haven't put above, but really helped me shape my thoughts on it.
•
3.5/5
•
This was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
It took me too long to realize it was not
romantic(, tender, or healthy)
to love someone else more than I loved myself.
•
I started this without much knowledge about Trista Mateer, I'd never read any of her poetry before so I wasn't sure what to expect. The collection of poetry in Honeybee goes through the process one goes through when letting go after heartbreak, after love. And honestly, I found myself not really understanding that process until the end.
For the majority of the collection, I found myself wondering if love itself, for Mateer, was like balancing precariously along the edge of a blade's edge, teetering back and forth between closure and obsession, letting go and giving in. There seemed to be a form of narrative to follow, a detail exposed with each poem that built the story as a whole.
I think one of the main reasons I didn't understand the process of letting go until the end was because of that, each poem giving me a little bit more to understand each time. Now, it makes sense to me that sometimes the process of letting go is just to let yourself feel, to teeter along that edge until you're reading to let go and fall in any which way. And you'd fall, no matter if you healed completely or if there was still that part of you that remained stuck. It was you letting go.
"there's no use forcing it before it's ready."
It also wasn't always about letting go of her love for an ex-girlfriend, because that is not the only relationship which you have to find yourself letting go of. Mateer also brings in her own family, her mother and grandmother, her other relationships and how they impact how she handles herself and how she takes on the emotions she's feeling.
It gives a contrast look at how one who is holding onto secrets about their own identity and battling with ordinary emotions like heartbreak and love cannot go about it in an ordinary way. It's a bittersweet truth, that not everyone has the luxury to pound through those barriers that close them in a precious little box for the sake of everyone else's previous little box.
"She says, I SUPPORT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER BUT I DON'T AGREE WITH IT AND I DON'T THINK IT'S RIGHT. I say, then you don't really support me, and she doesn't say anything."
I highlighted a lot of lines while I was reading this, some sticking with me a lot more profoundly than others as a pillar in Mateer's story, major points in her journey of moving on.
"You're not my biggest heartbreak anymore.
What a delicate relief to both of us."
I loved the poem titles as well – they were clever and I liked that they became a part of the poem as well. The use of capitals to convey emotion in turmoil and the clever placement of it really gave the poetry more gravity. I also loved the use of the images to show the handwritten poetry, with it's crossed out and feeling that even words aren't always easy to get down onto paper right the first time.
I really enjoyed this collection and feel I would very much enjoy reading more poetry by Mateer.
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Some of my favourite lines and poems from Honeybee that I just want to note which I haven't put above, but really helped me shape my thoughts on it.
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3.5/5
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This was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
August 28, 2018
I was sent this book as an advanced copy by the publisher via NetGalley for reviewing purposes, but all opinions are my own.
This poetry collection is essentially about the author's life after letting go of the woman she loved. It's always hard to judge the content of such personal poems so I'm trying not to go there, I'll just say that what kept me reading was the style of the poems more than the concepts. It's just, the author's feelings either will resonate with you or they won't, and for me they mostly didn't, but that's something I need to have in order to really love poetry.
My favorite poems were the ones that talked about bisexuality (even if this book is not for you, you must read the poem called "A Brief Note on Biphobia"). They meant a lot to me.
I think this is an important book for queer women regardless of your own feelings while reading it, but definitely be aware that it's very heavy on breakup and heartbreak themes as well as homophobia and biphobia.
This poetry collection is essentially about the author's life after letting go of the woman she loved. It's always hard to judge the content of such personal poems so I'm trying not to go there, I'll just say that what kept me reading was the style of the poems more than the concepts. It's just, the author's feelings either will resonate with you or they won't, and for me they mostly didn't, but that's something I need to have in order to really love poetry.
My favorite poems were the ones that talked about bisexuality (even if this book is not for you, you must read the poem called "A Brief Note on Biphobia"). They meant a lot to me.
I think this is an important book for queer women regardless of your own feelings while reading it, but definitely be aware that it's very heavy on breakup and heartbreak themes as well as homophobia and biphobia.
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