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Single State of Mind
The breakout star of ABC’s The Bachelorette and New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not Okay returns with a “relatable AF” (Cosmopolitan) collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.Sharing moments like finding her first New York apartment (the front door broke so she had to use the fire escape), her first dates on “celebrity Tinder” (just as bad as regular Tinder) and finally, watching her ex-fiancé propose to another woman on Bachelor in Paradise, Andi Dorfman doesn’t shy away from pulling back the curtain on the life of a reality star who’s returned to reality. Once again, Dorfman “doesn’t hold back” (HuffPost) as she recounts her romantic mishaps, city adventures, and, of course, insider Bachelor experiences. Single State of Mind is Sex and the City for the reality TV generation.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 9, 2018
133 people are currently reading
1488 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 237 reviews
January 21, 2018
I didn't like Andi's first book, but at least it had fun Bachelor gossip, which made me give it two stars. This book, however, was just a mess.
Andi came across extremely unlikeable in her first book, and I suspected she had a serious drinking problem, but I chalked some of that up to her "heartbreak". It's clear after reading this book, however, that both of those things are true even in her normal life. Andi spends this entire book ragging on everyone, even friends she supposedly loves. Most of her "horror dating stories" just showcase how shallow and judgmental she is, and I think it's incredibly stupid to continue to call Nick and Josh "Mr. 25 and Mr. 26" as if we don't know who they are. It's just juvenile, and makes her seem petty. And Andi, peppering your entire book with the F word every other sentence doesn't make you "edgy", it just makes you seem like a bad writer.
Her drinking problem was actually even more alarming in this book, as I don't think a single page went by without her drinking a bottle (or three) of wine and/or becoming blackout drunk at a bar. When she complained about having no money to rent an apartment but then immediately went and spent $200 on several bottles of wine, I wanted someone to slap some sense into her. She just comes across as such an entitled brat.
And did I miss something about why she can't go back to being a lawyer? I know she quit her job originally to go on the Bachelor, but surely she could start back up with another firm, right? It's just hard to take her seriously when she says she's unemployed and doesn't know what to do, so she'll just coast on paid Bachelor appearances for now. Um, what? You were a LAWYER!
That being said, reading this book was like being unable to look away from a car wreck. I kept thinking, "surely she can't any get worse, right?" only to turn to a new chapter and find out that yes, yes she can. I was completely unable to stop reading this, even as I found myself hating it. Strange but true.
Andi came across extremely unlikeable in her first book, and I suspected she had a serious drinking problem, but I chalked some of that up to her "heartbreak". It's clear after reading this book, however, that both of those things are true even in her normal life. Andi spends this entire book ragging on everyone, even friends she supposedly loves. Most of her "horror dating stories" just showcase how shallow and judgmental she is, and I think it's incredibly stupid to continue to call Nick and Josh "Mr. 25 and Mr. 26" as if we don't know who they are. It's just juvenile, and makes her seem petty. And Andi, peppering your entire book with the F word every other sentence doesn't make you "edgy", it just makes you seem like a bad writer.
Her drinking problem was actually even more alarming in this book, as I don't think a single page went by without her drinking a bottle (or three) of wine and/or becoming blackout drunk at a bar. When she complained about having no money to rent an apartment but then immediately went and spent $200 on several bottles of wine, I wanted someone to slap some sense into her. She just comes across as such an entitled brat.
And did I miss something about why she can't go back to being a lawyer? I know she quit her job originally to go on the Bachelor, but surely she could start back up with another firm, right? It's just hard to take her seriously when she says she's unemployed and doesn't know what to do, so she'll just coast on paid Bachelor appearances for now. Um, what? You were a LAWYER!
That being said, reading this book was like being unable to look away from a car wreck. I kept thinking, "surely she can't any get worse, right?" only to turn to a new chapter and find out that yes, yes she can. I was completely unable to stop reading this, even as I found myself hating it. Strange but true.
February 20, 2018
This book depicts the honestly biased and shallow thoughts and experiences of a typical simple-minded privileged all-American white girl, as well as her misconceptions about life. Which we can all learn from. I know I did.
But first, let me say how intrigued I was by the 75 entries of the word "wine" and 88 entries of the word "drink", including drinks and drinking, on the book. Intrigued by the fact that they did not go with the much more interesting title of "Drunken State of Mind".
There's something endearing about people vociferously professing their love for wine these days though...I guess it makes us look classy and sophisticated, right? Perhaps sipping mountain dew while taking a bubble bath probably wouldn't sound as classy and sophisticated...
I can't help but wonder how funny it would be like if we replace all the "open a bottle of wine" instances in the book with "open a bag of Cheetos".
It also seems that going out for drinks with your friends is the ultimate (and only) activity of those young adults who are fun, interesting and know how to have a good time. Otherwise, could they really stand each other's company without being inebriated? I wonder...
I found very relatable her difficulty in finding a decent apartment in a posh Manhattan neighbourhood on a tight budget, as well as her concerns of being barely able to afford her rent. I mean, it is quite commendable her ability to barely afford her rent while purchasing a Burberry coat, a Cartier watch, and traveling to Mexico and Greece. So long as we get our priorities straight, we will all manage, right?
Another thing that I could totally relate is how difficult it is to find a decent guy to date, who will treat us like we deserve!
Seriously..it is very hard to find someone who "makes me not want to play games just to stir up drama or fish for compliments; instead I just want to be nice.".
But what I really wonder is, would it be too much to ask to find a decent guy who accepts, embraces and admires us for playing games just to stir up drama or fish for compliments while not being nice?
What is wrong with guys nowadays?
"I like this particular bar because, well, I like fratty guys and being hit on. One day, one in particular has his eye on me. He is hot in the most frat-tastic way possible. But he is wearing a hat that says MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN #TRUMP. If he weren't so hot, I would dismiss him immediately. It's one thing to be a Republican and vote for Trump, it's another thing to be wearing that advertisement on a hat in public. I make him remove the hat and decide if he buys me one more Fireball shot, I'll pretend he never wore it in the first place. He does, and I give him my number."
I mean, why is it so hard to find a guy to date, even when we have absolutely no substantial standards whatsoever, other than their looks?
And why can't we be entitled to victimize ourselves and vilify the entire male gender when we specifically seek to date good-looking douches who act like douches?
What's wrong with the world?
"Brides just don't seem to see it from the single woman's perspective. Here we are shelling out a shitload of money to celebrate your overpriced lovefest of a day, and while we are happy to do so, we do so alone. Alone at an event in which love is everywhere, which obviously will make us feel depressed and defeated by life. Every slow song that comes on will have us awkwardly hiding in the restroom, but we will show up, because we care about you. So if you care about us, throw us a fucking bone, and give us a plus-one."
I mean, it is impossible not to agree with the author here. Brides nowadays are so self-centered, it is obnoxious. How can they not see the celebration of their overpriced lovefest through a single woman's perspective? You don't invite single friends to your wedding celebration, spending a shitton of money on good food and beverages, expecting them to be genuinely happy for you and celebrate your happiness. If brides really cared about their single female friends, they would never get married in the first place. Because it is totally your fault if your friends need external validation from being in a relationship in order to value themselves and be able to be happy for someone else's happiness. Yes, brides, it is all your fault ...for being friends with someone like that.
Another thing that I learned from the book is about the importance of surrounding yourself with good friends, who have good life advices to give you.
"But why? Why did this happen? Ava says I was too nice to him both during the relationship and after. And that I was too open with my feelings for him."
We can only bring disgrace upon ourselves if we are too nice and too open with our feelings with someone else, especially in a relationship, right? I need friends like that to guide me into the light.
Overall, I would recommend this book to ...be thrown in a recycle bin so at least something useful can be obtained from it.
But first, let me say how intrigued I was by the 75 entries of the word "wine" and 88 entries of the word "drink", including drinks and drinking, on the book. Intrigued by the fact that they did not go with the much more interesting title of "Drunken State of Mind".
There's something endearing about people vociferously professing their love for wine these days though...I guess it makes us look classy and sophisticated, right? Perhaps sipping mountain dew while taking a bubble bath probably wouldn't sound as classy and sophisticated...
I can't help but wonder how funny it would be like if we replace all the "open a bottle of wine" instances in the book with "open a bag of Cheetos".
It also seems that going out for drinks with your friends is the ultimate (and only) activity of those young adults who are fun, interesting and know how to have a good time. Otherwise, could they really stand each other's company without being inebriated? I wonder...
I found very relatable her difficulty in finding a decent apartment in a posh Manhattan neighbourhood on a tight budget, as well as her concerns of being barely able to afford her rent. I mean, it is quite commendable her ability to barely afford her rent while purchasing a Burberry coat, a Cartier watch, and traveling to Mexico and Greece. So long as we get our priorities straight, we will all manage, right?
Another thing that I could totally relate is how difficult it is to find a decent guy to date, who will treat us like we deserve!
Seriously..it is very hard to find someone who "makes me not want to play games just to stir up drama or fish for compliments; instead I just want to be nice.".
But what I really wonder is, would it be too much to ask to find a decent guy who accepts, embraces and admires us for playing games just to stir up drama or fish for compliments while not being nice?
What is wrong with guys nowadays?
"I like this particular bar because, well, I like fratty guys and being hit on. One day, one in particular has his eye on me. He is hot in the most frat-tastic way possible. But he is wearing a hat that says MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN #TRUMP. If he weren't so hot, I would dismiss him immediately. It's one thing to be a Republican and vote for Trump, it's another thing to be wearing that advertisement on a hat in public. I make him remove the hat and decide if he buys me one more Fireball shot, I'll pretend he never wore it in the first place. He does, and I give him my number."
I mean, why is it so hard to find a guy to date, even when we have absolutely no substantial standards whatsoever, other than their looks?
And why can't we be entitled to victimize ourselves and vilify the entire male gender when we specifically seek to date good-looking douches who act like douches?
What's wrong with the world?
"Brides just don't seem to see it from the single woman's perspective. Here we are shelling out a shitload of money to celebrate your overpriced lovefest of a day, and while we are happy to do so, we do so alone. Alone at an event in which love is everywhere, which obviously will make us feel depressed and defeated by life. Every slow song that comes on will have us awkwardly hiding in the restroom, but we will show up, because we care about you. So if you care about us, throw us a fucking bone, and give us a plus-one."
I mean, it is impossible not to agree with the author here. Brides nowadays are so self-centered, it is obnoxious. How can they not see the celebration of their overpriced lovefest through a single woman's perspective? You don't invite single friends to your wedding celebration, spending a shitton of money on good food and beverages, expecting them to be genuinely happy for you and celebrate your happiness. If brides really cared about their single female friends, they would never get married in the first place. Because it is totally your fault if your friends need external validation from being in a relationship in order to value themselves and be able to be happy for someone else's happiness. Yes, brides, it is all your fault ...for being friends with someone like that.
Another thing that I learned from the book is about the importance of surrounding yourself with good friends, who have good life advices to give you.
"But why? Why did this happen? Ava says I was too nice to him both during the relationship and after. And that I was too open with my feelings for him."
We can only bring disgrace upon ourselves if we are too nice and too open with our feelings with someone else, especially in a relationship, right? I need friends like that to guide me into the light.
Overall, I would recommend this book to ...be thrown in a recycle bin so at least something useful can be obtained from it.
January 4, 2018
DNF at 38%
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
As a longtime fan of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette franchise, I had to see if an ARC was available for this when one of my library co-workers who knows of my love for all things Bachelor mentioned seeing something about the book coming out. Andi was someone who I liked okay when she was on the show but still not a favorite for me. Reading this book, I found myself liking her less and less every page I turned. I don't want to turn this into an attack on her, so I'll keep my thoughts to myself except to say that this book is not for me. I was expecting something different from her and from this book. I wasn't enjoying it at all, so I finally had to stop reading it. It is not poorly written, but her stories aren't all that interesting and she's not particularly likable. I'll leave it at that. I can't see myself recommending the book unless someone is a die-hard Andi fan and fully knows what she is like.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
As a longtime fan of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette franchise, I had to see if an ARC was available for this when one of my library co-workers who knows of my love for all things Bachelor mentioned seeing something about the book coming out. Andi was someone who I liked okay when she was on the show but still not a favorite for me. Reading this book, I found myself liking her less and less every page I turned. I don't want to turn this into an attack on her, so I'll keep my thoughts to myself except to say that this book is not for me. I was expecting something different from her and from this book. I wasn't enjoying it at all, so I finally had to stop reading it. It is not poorly written, but her stories aren't all that interesting and she's not particularly likable. I'll leave it at that. I can't see myself recommending the book unless someone is a die-hard Andi fan and fully knows what she is like.
January 12, 2018
Wow, save your money. This is honestly not a good book... I couldn't even get through the first half. This book simply wasn't well written, and I found it boring. She must believe that her life is so interesting, but i'm sorry it's just not... at least not for me. And for her to go into such great detail about her private life... basically running an escort service and letting that be known to thousands of people, how can she have so much pride writing a book like this? Welcome to the 21st century, where people think the definition of "having fun being single" means going around hooking up with tons of guys and having one night stands. I don't understand how she isn't embarrassed publishing a book like this or how a person can be filled with so much hate. This woman needs to see a therapist.
Check out my friend's thoughts on her blog, she has a similar opinion to me. https://forbiddenstateofmind.wordpres...
Check out my friend's thoughts on her blog, she has a similar opinion to me. https://forbiddenstateofmind.wordpres...
January 29, 2018
Oh boy, where do I start? I’ll admit, I’m a junkie for a celeb memoir & since I read Dorfman’s last book, I was excited to read the next one. I really wanted to like this book but the author made it very difficult. I am a single, 29 year old, well-educated woman, & I couldn’t relate to anything she was whining about. She came off so unlikeable; she portrayed herself as shallow, egotistical, someone with a bit of a drinking problem, & someone who really just wrote this book so she could brag & complain about her sexual escapades. Every guy she was with had some issue (it was never her, obviously) & I think she was trying really hard to be like Carrie Bradshaw & it showed. And not in a good way. Also, what was with the amount of times she used the f word? Sure, we’ve probably all said it but this was just, ugh. I’m guessing she thinks it makes her sound hip & fun, but no, just déclassé. And by the way, am I the only 29 year old who thinks because I’m currently single I probably will be forever & should therefore freeze my eggs? Ok, I just needed to get that out there. I’m sure some young ladies will find this relatable & fun but, it just wasn’t for me.
January 27, 2018
I liked Andis season on the Bachelorette and Andi. That’s why I read her first book and thought she was really open if not a little heavy on the spoiled rich girl giving ridiculous advice side. So I wanted to give this book a chance. Here is what I realized. She’s not a good writer, this reads like the diary of a high priced call girl and literally she never takes accountability for her part in the ending of any of her relationships. I started to notice every ending to her many relationships was her being strong and wise but the boyfriend being the one with all the issues. Also, that amount of alcohol consumption is not normal and getting flown places for sex does make you an escort. Please don’t write another book!
January 17, 2018
Seeing as how The Bachelor franchise is one of my favorite guilty pleasures, I often chalk up reading the books written by Bachelor contestants to that of reading my favorite guilty pleasure magazine Us Weekly....meaning I expect lots of gossip, fluff, and not to learn a lot but to be entertained by pretty people. Andi's first book fit that bill. It was fun, fluffy and filled with somewhat interesting stories. This book is just dreadful. Andi, I am shocked you used to be a lawyer because this book just makes you seem like a dumb alcoholic who was excited to parade around all the stories of the semi famous people she hooked up with over the last two years and all the fantastic parties she got invited to. This could have been entertaining, but every other word is the 'f' word (not that I am against it but using it so much just shows lazy writing skills), and she tried to be Carrie Bradshaw way too often. Example: "If we talked about our heartbreak more, would we hurt less?" Ugh, Andi you aren't Carrie Bradshaw! She also seems to shun anything Bachelor now as a part of her life that is 'over.' Umm, hate to break it to you but that's the only reason you are getting invited to fantastic parties. I really hope this is the end of Andi's writing career!
January 17, 2018
I am a bachelor fan and loved Andi on the show. I actually liked her first book, but I found this book less and less likable as I continued to read. As a former single NYC girl, some elements of her life and her NYC stories were relatable, but overall I found her incredibly rude and entitled. She frequently complains about being bored and feeling like she lacks purpose, but she doesn’t have an actual job. She is insulted when she’s denied entry to a fashion show because she’s a “reality star,” but then complains that the fashion week shows were filled with too many bloggers. She consistently speaks horribly about her friends, her super, and many people in her life, in a way that I actually found offensive. Bottom line, it’s not worth even trying to like this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 31, 2018
Andi Dorfman is seriously one of the most amazing women out there in the world right now. Having read her two books I can safely say without a doubt that she is an inspiration for women. I loved this memoir so much! The things she talks about are real and honest and at the same time she is making reader's laugh through the whole thing, even during moments that shouldn't be hysterical! I loved every second of this book!
Longer review coming soon!
Longer review coming soon!
January 16, 2018
4.5 stars
I absolutely loved reading this book, and it's just what I needed at this time in my life. Andi writes about her first two years in New York (from 2015 I think to the beginning of 2017), and a lot of it does cover her dating life (no serious relationships though). I like how honest she is about it all. On the other hand, she's not very relatable. She spends a lot of her time drinking and getting flown by guys to visit them in Seattle, Canada, and Vegas. Additionally, she was paid to attend the Kentucky Derby and then is offered to fly back on a private jet, got free tickets to the Superbowl thanks to having connections (seems like she only has rich friends) but then leaves in the middle of it to go hook up with a guy who bought her a ticket to Vegas, and so on. Plus, I highly doubt one published book can pay for her lavish lifestyle, from the high price of rent in New York City to her expensive Burberry coat ($800) and a Cartier watch ($$$?) to all those *bottles* of wine she drinks. Although she does shop at H&M as well. But I know of another NYT best-selling author who actually is still a practicing attorney (unlike Andi) who admitted that getting paid to write her first book barely covered for the time she had to miss work to write her book! So I'm thinking Andi must still get help from her parents or somewhere else. I do wonder what she does with her days though (besides drinking, going to bars, and hanging with her rich friends) because writing a book can't take up ALL her time.
To end on a positive note because I did like the book: I do like how she keeps it real and doesn't hide her emotions, isn't shy to admit that she cries (especially when she first moved to New York and it was hard for her). She's honest in sometimes feeling lonely. Those emotions are what made this book relatable in the beginning.
I absolutely loved reading this book, and it's just what I needed at this time in my life. Andi writes about her first two years in New York (from 2015 I think to the beginning of 2017), and a lot of it does cover her dating life (no serious relationships though). I like how honest she is about it all. On the other hand, she's not very relatable. She spends a lot of her time drinking and getting flown by guys to visit them in Seattle, Canada, and Vegas. Additionally, she was paid to attend the Kentucky Derby and then is offered to fly back on a private jet, got free tickets to the Superbowl thanks to having connections (seems like she only has rich friends) but then leaves in the middle of it to go hook up with a guy who bought her a ticket to Vegas, and so on. Plus, I highly doubt one published book can pay for her lavish lifestyle, from the high price of rent in New York City to her expensive Burberry coat ($800) and a Cartier watch ($$$?) to all those *bottles* of wine she drinks. Although she does shop at H&M as well. But I know of another NYT best-selling author who actually is still a practicing attorney (unlike Andi) who admitted that getting paid to write her first book barely covered for the time she had to miss work to write her book! So I'm thinking Andi must still get help from her parents or somewhere else. I do wonder what she does with her days though (besides drinking, going to bars, and hanging with her rich friends) because writing a book can't take up ALL her time.
To end on a positive note because I did like the book: I do like how she keeps it real and doesn't hide her emotions, isn't shy to admit that she cries (especially when she first moved to New York and it was hard for her). She's honest in sometimes feeling lonely. Those emotions are what made this book relatable in the beginning.
March 9, 2018
I liked this more than her first book. it read a lot like a book version of sex and the city. it was entertaining. But much like her other book, Andi comes off as extremely shallow. basically, she drinks A LOT, is horrible at picking out decent men to date (I mean she choose Josh Murray, this shouldn't be too much of a surprise.), and loves the quasi-fame the bachelor has given her.
I DO appreciate that SHE wrote it. a lot of famous people books are written by ghost writers. I respect that she has written this all on her own and done a good job doing so.
I DO appreciate that SHE wrote it. a lot of famous people books are written by ghost writers. I respect that she has written this all on her own and done a good job doing so.
January 11, 2018
I loved this book. It's like hanging out with your best friend and gossiping about everything. I kinda want to be BFFs with Andi.
January 14, 2018
Oh, Bachelor books. This was better written than Andi’s first book but still not that great.
February 22, 2019
My favorite kind of audiobook
February 2, 2018
I feel embarrassed that I am even putting this out there that I read it, and that I even liked it enough to give it four stars. Let me explain.
As a fangirl of the Bachelor, I totally read her first book for all the BTS secrets, and I also follow most of the Bachelor franchise rejects on Instagram. Of course all of Andi's BFF's shamelessly posted selfies with the book and I fell succumb as their target audience and bought the Kindle version (that way I look smarter). :)
I don't really know what I was expecting to read, but I know I wasn't expecting to connect with a late-twenty year old who's life is the remnants of being on a dating-reality-show. But in this book, underneath all the cringe-worthy first dates and copious amounts of f-bombs and sex, is a story about a woman who's life turned into nothing she thought or planned or even dreamed of. It's about dealing with the reality that your life may not be where you thought it would or that your path went a little bit off the path you anticipated.
And Andi does a beautiful job of capturing the heartache, the joys, the what-ifs, and the what-the-hells of it all. That maybe you're not where you want to be, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
As a fangirl of the Bachelor, I totally read her first book for all the BTS secrets, and I also follow most of the Bachelor franchise rejects on Instagram. Of course all of Andi's BFF's shamelessly posted selfies with the book and I fell succumb as their target audience and bought the Kindle version (that way I look smarter). :)
I don't really know what I was expecting to read, but I know I wasn't expecting to connect with a late-twenty year old who's life is the remnants of being on a dating-reality-show. But in this book, underneath all the cringe-worthy first dates and copious amounts of f-bombs and sex, is a story about a woman who's life turned into nothing she thought or planned or even dreamed of. It's about dealing with the reality that your life may not be where you thought it would or that your path went a little bit off the path you anticipated.
And Andi does a beautiful job of capturing the heartache, the joys, the what-ifs, and the what-the-hells of it all. That maybe you're not where you want to be, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
February 12, 2018
2.5 stats: I appreciated the fact that this was fun, light reading for the past few days when I was up overnight with a sick kid.
I’m not sure if this memoir was supposed to be an ode to the single life but it ended up making me feel really grateful to be in a relationship.
I was also wondering what the overall takeaway and lessons were supposed to be from this book. A lot of it was fairly unrelatable, like being able to just fly to the Super Bowl and then hop a free flight to Vegas. I also thought it was kind of hypocritical of the author to call out other Bachelor contestants for making money for Instagram posts when she has been able to sell books because of her Bachelor franchise fame.
Overall, I’d probably recommend it for my fellow Bachelor fan friends to read.
I’m not sure if this memoir was supposed to be an ode to the single life but it ended up making me feel really grateful to be in a relationship.
I was also wondering what the overall takeaway and lessons were supposed to be from this book. A lot of it was fairly unrelatable, like being able to just fly to the Super Bowl and then hop a free flight to Vegas. I also thought it was kind of hypocritical of the author to call out other Bachelor contestants for making money for Instagram posts when she has been able to sell books because of her Bachelor franchise fame.
Overall, I’d probably recommend it for my fellow Bachelor fan friends to read.
February 27, 2018
Andi, A confused 28 year old, decides to leave everything shes ever known to pursue her dreams and move to New York. Along the way she has a lot of struggles and setbacks but she will survive.
After breaking up with her fiance in front of everyone on reality TV, She decides to leave Georgia all together to maybe get rid of the bad memories. She soon realizes that living in New York is was different than Georgia. Way more expensive, a lot of long coats, and the people are nicer.
This book was supposed to be entertaining and funny and it Was both of those things. Strengths were she told us about all aspects of her life, Family, work, friends, dating, everything. but a lot of times she told them out of order.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to laugh, a lot.
After breaking up with her fiance in front of everyone on reality TV, She decides to leave Georgia all together to maybe get rid of the bad memories. She soon realizes that living in New York is was different than Georgia. Way more expensive, a lot of long coats, and the people are nicer.
This book was supposed to be entertaining and funny and it Was both of those things. Strengths were she told us about all aspects of her life, Family, work, friends, dating, everything. but a lot of times she told them out of order.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to laugh, a lot.
March 9, 2019
I liked this a lot more than her first book. A real anthem to single women and figuring yourself out. Resonated with me as I'm the same age as her. It was fun reading her disastrous dating stories and even though she's on a slightly more sophisticated level, nice to know single girl problems are the same all around. Includes tell all drama from The Bachelor that you know you want to know about. Of course, not the most well-written or insightful book, and she obviously has a single white privilege rose colored glasses perspective, but entertaining nonetheless.
January 19, 2018
I really enjoyed Andi’s book. I found it very juicy, entertaining and quite simply, some pure guilty pleasure. Her dating stories are hilarious and I just couldn’t get enough of her “single state of mind”. I find Dorfman’s writing style very remniscent of Carrie Bradshaw and this book felt like a modern day “Sex and the City” type story.
February 2, 2018
While no bachelorette author could ever compare to the infamous Carrie Bradshaw, Andi Dorfman came pretty close. I enjoyed Andi’s honest and comedic account of her crazy NYC lifestyle.
March 21, 2018
Dorfman is the most shallow woman author ever. This disgusting book is merely about her constant attempt to hook up with hot guys, judging men based purely on their looks, being high maintenance and then wondering why the guys want to dump her, and acting like a diva celebrity when truly she is nothing but a has-been who gave up a legal career to move to New York City without knowing what she was getting into.
The book is 100% worthless unless you what to learn what NOT to do with your life. It supposed to be a kind of Sex and the City wild-girls-in-NYC feel but Dorfman comes across as a desperate loser who keeps being attracted to pro athletes (hey honey if it doesn't work the third time why don't you try some other type?). Worst is that she thinks her parents are proud of her--there is no way in the world. She is a complete embarrassment to herself and her family and even The Bachelorette. If all of the women on the show are this slutty then they do not represent real America. Ironically Dorfman demeans a contestant from her season on the show for telling all on live TV that they slept together, yet she has no problem outing her immoral sleeping around with just about any guy that moves. She thinks having "old fashioned values" means waiting until the 2nd or 3rd date to have sex together (and she stays the whole night when she does!). This "moral" gal is not beyond admitting that she stays with guys just for the sex.
Add to that that she has a serious drinking problems and admits to doing drugs, and this woman is a role model for no one. Is this the way parents have raised their children today, to have no shame and to brag about being trash? How shallow. How sad. This reality star needs a dose of reality and should change her life to do some good instead of being all about self-centered hedonism. I'd give it zero stars if I could and it's much worse than her first book (which was pretty bad). The title should be "Shallow State of Mind" or "Shameful State of Mind" or even "Slutty State of Mind" to reflect the low bar this book sets in the publishing world.
The book is 100% worthless unless you what to learn what NOT to do with your life. It supposed to be a kind of Sex and the City wild-girls-in-NYC feel but Dorfman comes across as a desperate loser who keeps being attracted to pro athletes (hey honey if it doesn't work the third time why don't you try some other type?). Worst is that she thinks her parents are proud of her--there is no way in the world. She is a complete embarrassment to herself and her family and even The Bachelorette. If all of the women on the show are this slutty then they do not represent real America. Ironically Dorfman demeans a contestant from her season on the show for telling all on live TV that they slept together, yet she has no problem outing her immoral sleeping around with just about any guy that moves. She thinks having "old fashioned values" means waiting until the 2nd or 3rd date to have sex together (and she stays the whole night when she does!). This "moral" gal is not beyond admitting that she stays with guys just for the sex.
Add to that that she has a serious drinking problems and admits to doing drugs, and this woman is a role model for no one. Is this the way parents have raised their children today, to have no shame and to brag about being trash? How shallow. How sad. This reality star needs a dose of reality and should change her life to do some good instead of being all about self-centered hedonism. I'd give it zero stars if I could and it's much worse than her first book (which was pretty bad). The title should be "Shallow State of Mind" or "Shameful State of Mind" or even "Slutty State of Mind" to reflect the low bar this book sets in the publishing world.
March 3, 2018
Having read Andi’s first book, I thought I liked her as a person but after reading her second book, I realized rather quickly that I knew nothing about HER. Her first book was truly about the men she had in and out of her life and Single State of Mind was about her as a person... and I strongly dislike her.
She is incredibly insecure but not aware of it yet. She spends so much time in the book trying to describe to the reader how the party or club or event she’s at is super exclusive but if you removed all the added brags, the story would still be the same.
She is a horrible friend and yes, I’m sure she got permission from her friends before publishing but she spends a good deal of time judging, making fun of, or wishing unhappiness for her girlfriends. She actually writes how she wants one of her friend’s boyfriend to be a tool so they will break up and she can be single again with Andi. She does this a couple of times.
She’s a hypocrite about her “celebrity” status. One minute she’s talking about how lucky she is she gets to enjoy these things from just being on a reality show but whenever she’s denied something (e.g., Fashion Week show) or judged just slightly for being on the Bachelor, she completely reverses on why she’s a celebrity.
Her man bashing is extreme and unwarranted some of the time. There are certain relationships that she blames solely the guy when she is either fully to blame or entirely to blame. And this mentally that all men are jerks is a terrible belief system.
I could give specifics on why Andi is not likable but they would spoil the book.
This book was poorly written, dropped the F bomb WAYYYY too much for no reason, and the protagonist was exactly that girl you hated in high school.
She is incredibly insecure but not aware of it yet. She spends so much time in the book trying to describe to the reader how the party or club or event she’s at is super exclusive but if you removed all the added brags, the story would still be the same.
She is a horrible friend and yes, I’m sure she got permission from her friends before publishing but she spends a good deal of time judging, making fun of, or wishing unhappiness for her girlfriends. She actually writes how she wants one of her friend’s boyfriend to be a tool so they will break up and she can be single again with Andi. She does this a couple of times.
She’s a hypocrite about her “celebrity” status. One minute she’s talking about how lucky she is she gets to enjoy these things from just being on a reality show but whenever she’s denied something (e.g., Fashion Week show) or judged just slightly for being on the Bachelor, she completely reverses on why she’s a celebrity.
Her man bashing is extreme and unwarranted some of the time. There are certain relationships that she blames solely the guy when she is either fully to blame or entirely to blame. And this mentally that all men are jerks is a terrible belief system.
I could give specifics on why Andi is not likable but they would spoil the book.
This book was poorly written, dropped the F bomb WAYYYY too much for no reason, and the protagonist was exactly that girl you hated in high school.
March 12, 2020
ingle State of Mind is all about Andi’s move to New York and her dating escapades.
There are some very funny and relatable parts to the book – from the difficulty of finding an affordable apartment to attending weddings without a date to being set up with the worst guys. The story feels like a modern version of Sex and the City. Andi has a dry sense of humor that reads well and her writing has vastly improved from her first book.
The glaring issue with this book is a lack of self awareness. Andi tried to relate to the reader but flaunts her privilege all over this book. She talks about the difficultly in finding an apartment she can afford but also goes on a long rant about how she won’t live anywhere but the West Side. She gets free tickets to the Super Bowl, Kentucky Derby and makes it to Fashion Week.
She has privilege and that’s ok but what isn’t is her lack of awareness. She will throw in lines of buying things on clearance and then the next chapter she is rewarding herself with a Cartier watch. She needs her dad to co-sign in her apartment but also takes trips to Seattle, Greece, and Mexico. Her lack of acknowledgement of her financial privilege sticks out and makes her unrelatable to a reader like me.
If you like The Bachelor, this is a fun look at life post-show from the view of a contestant that doesn’t sell tummy tea but don’t set your standards too high.
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There are some very funny and relatable parts to the book – from the difficulty of finding an affordable apartment to attending weddings without a date to being set up with the worst guys. The story feels like a modern version of Sex and the City. Andi has a dry sense of humor that reads well and her writing has vastly improved from her first book.
The glaring issue with this book is a lack of self awareness. Andi tried to relate to the reader but flaunts her privilege all over this book. She talks about the difficultly in finding an apartment she can afford but also goes on a long rant about how she won’t live anywhere but the West Side. She gets free tickets to the Super Bowl, Kentucky Derby and makes it to Fashion Week.
She has privilege and that’s ok but what isn’t is her lack of awareness. She will throw in lines of buying things on clearance and then the next chapter she is rewarding herself with a Cartier watch. She needs her dad to co-sign in her apartment but also takes trips to Seattle, Greece, and Mexico. Her lack of acknowledgement of her financial privilege sticks out and makes her unrelatable to a reader like me.
If you like The Bachelor, this is a fun look at life post-show from the view of a contestant that doesn’t sell tummy tea but don’t set your standards too high.
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April 6, 2019
A light, easy-to-read and quite entertaining account by a former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestant who decides to reset her life by moving to New York at the prime age of 28. There, she begins recounting the myriad of dating disasters that she encounters, mostly with rich athletes that have her flying over to visit them. I have to give her credit for being honest and open about her feelings throughout this experience, but her snottiness is downright insulting to say the least. Rarely does she acknowledge her privilege in her bouts of first-world crises, and though she tries to pride herself in being a solo woman in the "best" city of the world, she's completely hung up on the dating/hookup culture and makes a point of bashing all the men that she's dated here.
To be honest, this book is just an outlet for her need to be on the spotlight. When the TV show ended, so did her screen time. But she makes it clear in this book that her private business is everyone's business, and if you're all about that, then you'll probably find the book entertaining. Because as much as I just bashed her on her book, I did find it an enjoyable escape from my own life, so.
To be honest, this book is just an outlet for her need to be on the spotlight. When the TV show ended, so did her screen time. But she makes it clear in this book that her private business is everyone's business, and if you're all about that, then you'll probably find the book entertaining. Because as much as I just bashed her on her book, I did find it an enjoyable escape from my own life, so.
January 28, 2018
I really really really LOVED this book! The 3 star review had me really skeptical about buying it but I decided to get it anyways, keeping in mind it might be a disappointment.
I loved Single State of Mind more than It's Not Okay. I already knew half the stuff she wrote in It's Not Okay having watched her season on the bachelorette and reading about her breakup with Josh so there wasn't anything new in it for me.
You get to witness Andi grow as a person and a woman in this second book. I also find her unapologetically funny! The shit she gets herself into when she's operating on wine and drunk.
I love how real and genuine she is in writing this book. She tells it like it is. Her story is raw and relatable all the while keeping her spunky personality. She doesn't hold anything back.
Andi has always been a favourite bachelorette of mine. Although she says she made such a boring lead, I think she has a great head on her shoulders. Hopefully this girl realizes that and stops being so hard on herself.
I loved Single State of Mind more than It's Not Okay. I already knew half the stuff she wrote in It's Not Okay having watched her season on the bachelorette and reading about her breakup with Josh so there wasn't anything new in it for me.
You get to witness Andi grow as a person and a woman in this second book. I also find her unapologetically funny! The shit she gets herself into when she's operating on wine and drunk.
I love how real and genuine she is in writing this book. She tells it like it is. Her story is raw and relatable all the while keeping her spunky personality. She doesn't hold anything back.
Andi has always been a favourite bachelorette of mine. Although she says she made such a boring lead, I think she has a great head on her shoulders. Hopefully this girl realizes that and stops being so hard on herself.
January 16, 2018
I love the Bachelor/Bachelorette! I’ve been watching it since Trista was on, so of course I’m gonna read any/all books having to do with the brand. I really liked Andi when she was on Juan DoucheBags season. I was so excited about her finding love with Josh... then that ended.. and I had to know the deets. This book though... it barely touches on the Bachelorette, mostly just her life. I disagree with her single state of mind lifestyle(like I don’t need all the deets about your love life). I do however give her credit for being vulnerable. That takes freaking guts. In a world that shames people for living their truth, I love that she owns her life. So cheers Andi for doing you!
So I would like to say that I won’t waste my time reading another book by her... but I’ll be honest because I’m freaking addicted to this franchise, and I’m nosy.. so no judging! 🤦🏼♀️
So I would like to say that I won’t waste my time reading another book by her... but I’ll be honest because I’m freaking addicted to this franchise, and I’m nosy.. so no judging! 🤦🏼♀️
January 25, 2018
I liked this one more than her first honestly! Instead of it reading like a self-help book like “It’s Not Okay”, “Single State of Mind” read like a Carrie Bradshaw column - A single girl in the big apple!
I’m not the type to pick this kind of book, but I just love Andi so much from her Bachelor/Bachelorette days that I just had to read it to find out what she’s doing now... and I definitely don’t regret that decision!
I’m not the type to pick this kind of book, but I just love Andi so much from her Bachelor/Bachelorette days that I just had to read it to find out what she’s doing now... and I definitely don’t regret that decision!
February 2, 2018
I thought Andi's 2nd book was much better written than her first (although not as juicy in content). While the private jets, free Super Bowl tickets and last-minute excursions to Mexico/Canada/Seattle with new love interests were not very relatable, her dating experiences certainly were. I also really appreciated her candor and vulnerability- not easy to publish I'm sure, especially for a pseudo-celebrity. Really enjoyed!
February 28, 2018
The Bachelor series is 100% my guilty pleasure show so when I saw Andi had a new book out about her life post-breakup from her season on the show, I figured I'd give it a read. After the show, Andi moved to NYC where she was shocked to find apartments were really expensive, went out on a bunch of bad (and not so bad) first dates, and made a new group of friends. It was a fine read, I enjoyed it more because I watched the show, but it was nothing super special.
February 22, 2018
I enjoyed the first half of the book a lot more than the second, it was interesting reading about her getting set up in NYC. Also, Ive never seen the bachelor or Bachelorette, so i think there were a few connections missing there, but still a fun read.
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