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Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?: Plan Now to Safeguard Your Health and Happiness in Old Age
Everything you need to know to plan for your own safe, financially secure, healthy, and happy old age For those who have no support system in place, the thought of aging without help can be a frightening, isolating prospect. Whether you have friends and family ready and able to help you or not, growing old does not have to be an inevitable decline into helplessness. It is possible to maintain a good quality of life in your later years, but having a plan is essential. Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old? equips readers with everything they need to prepare on their on the tough medical, financial, and housing decisions to come Real solutions to create a support network Questions about aging solo readers don't know to ask Customizable worksheets and checklists that help keep plans on course Guidance on new products, services, technology, and resourcesWho Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old? goes way beyond estate planning to help readers prepare for all the changes in store. Readers are empowered to make proactive plans for their own lives rather than entrusting decisions to family and community.
476 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 24, 2017
174 people are currently reading
231 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
October 28, 2018
This book is actually better than most of these in that it actually pulled no punches. For instance, instead of just giving suggestions for how old people can "age in place"--in other words, stay in their own, likely-too-big-now-that-they're-older home--it also advises that doing so can be very expensive (since neither Medicare or Medic-Aid will pay for even personal/medical services in the home) and that it could likely now be time to wake up and MOVE TO A SMALLER PLACE. I also like the way that she didn't just skim over but actually addressed what might help if you are childless (or have grown kids who are unwilling or unable to help) and if you are LGBTQ and dealing with the prejudice that is rampant against that (even the childless-by-choice people) in senior housing.
The reason I took one star away is because the book doesn't address at all what to do if you are not just willing but *wanting* to utilize some or all of her suggestions but are married to someone who absolutely refuses to try any of them. ("I'm not leaving this house 'till I'm carried out of here feet-first" and "We don't need to move closer to town because of no longer being able to drive! I'm gonna drive 'till I die!" Yeah, and cause an accident which results in a lawsuit and we lose the house; thanks, hon.) And she likely didn't address that at all because, after all, what can be done about that short of a divorce?
So it's a good book with good suggestions; but if you're married or partnered up with someone as described above, don't read it; it'll just break your heart reading about all the stuff that you'll likely never be able to do. Just warning ya.
The reason I took one star away is because the book doesn't address at all what to do if you are not just willing but *wanting* to utilize some or all of her suggestions but are married to someone who absolutely refuses to try any of them. ("I'm not leaving this house 'till I'm carried out of here feet-first" and "We don't need to move closer to town because of no longer being able to drive! I'm gonna drive 'till I die!" Yeah, and cause an accident which results in a lawsuit and we lose the house; thanks, hon.) And she likely didn't address that at all because, after all, what can be done about that short of a divorce?
So it's a good book with good suggestions; but if you're married or partnered up with someone as described above, don't read it; it'll just break your heart reading about all the stuff that you'll likely never be able to do. Just warning ya.
November 2, 2017
Even Better Than Expected!
My husband and I don’t have kids. Finally, now that we are in our mid-forties, people have stopped asking when we will. But for a very long time, when we indicated that we didn’t have children, people—even strangers—would inquire, “But who will be there for you when you get older?” Frequently my response was, “We have long term care insurance,” with a smile. That usually shut down the conversation.
Of course, such discussions have always reminded me that our older adulthood will differ from peers who will have adult children, grandchildren and possibly even great-grandchildren. While having children does not guarantee anyone a caregiver someday, we know that we may have less social support than other older adults.
Because of this, when I first heard about Joy Loverde’s new book Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old?, I immediately said to my husband, “We need this book.” I’m thrilled to report that this book is much more than what I was expecting. While Loverde recognizes our situation, she also reminds the reader that thinking ahead about who will support you in old age is not just an issue for the childless. Even those with many adult children should be proactive in developing a robust social network for their later years.
Loverde covers practical ideas such as how to become better at socializing (even if you consider yourself shy) so you can enjoy more social support. She also offers provocative ideas like having a funeral before you die. Repeatedly while reading Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old, I found myself thinking, “I never thought of that before!”
Though I was initially personally interested in Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old, professionally I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who wants to have a more fulfilling aging experience.
My husband and I don’t have kids. Finally, now that we are in our mid-forties, people have stopped asking when we will. But for a very long time, when we indicated that we didn’t have children, people—even strangers—would inquire, “But who will be there for you when you get older?” Frequently my response was, “We have long term care insurance,” with a smile. That usually shut down the conversation.
Of course, such discussions have always reminded me that our older adulthood will differ from peers who will have adult children, grandchildren and possibly even great-grandchildren. While having children does not guarantee anyone a caregiver someday, we know that we may have less social support than other older adults.
Because of this, when I first heard about Joy Loverde’s new book Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old?, I immediately said to my husband, “We need this book.” I’m thrilled to report that this book is much more than what I was expecting. While Loverde recognizes our situation, she also reminds the reader that thinking ahead about who will support you in old age is not just an issue for the childless. Even those with many adult children should be proactive in developing a robust social network for their later years.
Loverde covers practical ideas such as how to become better at socializing (even if you consider yourself shy) so you can enjoy more social support. She also offers provocative ideas like having a funeral before you die. Repeatedly while reading Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old, I found myself thinking, “I never thought of that before!”
Though I was initially personally interested in Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old, professionally I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who wants to have a more fulfilling aging experience.
July 11, 2019
I'm not completely sure the author answers the book's question. I also had my doubts about the organization: she frequently recommends the reader just type a phrase into a search engine. I sort of thought readers might discover that for themselves. But there is a lot of thought-provoking new information here. I hope to downsize in the near future and welcomed the idea that several job descriptions (such as professional organizer) include helping older people manage their possessions and downsize.
October 8, 2018
This is a good reference book. I don't have children, a husband, or real property, and I'm self-employed, so much of the book doesn't apply to me. Some of the writing is disingenuous, such as a one-sentence reference to the "option" of suicide tourism, without any consideration of the burden on local agencies or families who have to retrieve a dead body, or look for one. Keep your grain of salt handy.
October 2, 2021
The title is clickbait; the book does NOT answer the title question or even focus on it much. The book is a comprehensive resource on all the ways one needs to prepare for aging and death. Overwhelming in the range and amount of stuff to deal with, but probably helpful to plan in small chunks.
May 19, 2018
Excellent book that goes over many of the most important things one should be thinking about as the age of retirement nears. Lots of great questions that can prompt action.
December 26, 2017
I picked up this book two weeks before my total hip replacement surgery. Being a healthy 62 year old, needing this surgery due to an accident, I suddenly was facing things that I had previously associated with ‘old age’. This book couldn’t have come at a better time for me and I know that my future will be different because of it.
Joy Loverde, in her groundbreaking book, “Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old” has practical, skillful and the necessary steps to help us with the inevitable.
Cheeky at times, with recommended lists of songs, TV shows, YouTube videos and Ted Talks that illustrate the chapter headings, her media sources touch our aging baby boomer brains in ways that mere words cannot.
The book begins with ‘Meet Your Future Self’ (cue ‘My Way’ performed by Frank Sinatra - see what I mean about media reference...you KNOW what’s ahead). Ms. Loverde doesn’t just talk esoteric gobbledegook, she gives us real tools and instructions on how to plan and visualize our future. If you follow her instructions I promise that you will be planful about your future.
One of the tools I like best in this book are the worksheets in each chapter. Questions are asked that directly go to the topic at hand, some of them uncomfortable...which is exactly why they need to be asked. Do your work and you will be rewarded.
My mother says that ‘aging is not for sissies’ and the older I get, the wiser she is. This book illustrates many ways to age successfully. The more you get involved, the better it is for you. Unlike taxes and politics, aging/death isn’t something that shouldn’t be discussed at the dining room table. The more you think about it, plan for it and actively live it, the higher the quality aging you will have.
This is a book that should be read by everyone, whether alone or in a relationship, and is a loving gift to any of your friends. Thank you, Joy Loverde, for accumulating all the resources and writing this book.
Joy Loverde, in her groundbreaking book, “Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old” has practical, skillful and the necessary steps to help us with the inevitable.
Cheeky at times, with recommended lists of songs, TV shows, YouTube videos and Ted Talks that illustrate the chapter headings, her media sources touch our aging baby boomer brains in ways that mere words cannot.
The book begins with ‘Meet Your Future Self’ (cue ‘My Way’ performed by Frank Sinatra - see what I mean about media reference...you KNOW what’s ahead). Ms. Loverde doesn’t just talk esoteric gobbledegook, she gives us real tools and instructions on how to plan and visualize our future. If you follow her instructions I promise that you will be planful about your future.
One of the tools I like best in this book are the worksheets in each chapter. Questions are asked that directly go to the topic at hand, some of them uncomfortable...which is exactly why they need to be asked. Do your work and you will be rewarded.
My mother says that ‘aging is not for sissies’ and the older I get, the wiser she is. This book illustrates many ways to age successfully. The more you get involved, the better it is for you. Unlike taxes and politics, aging/death isn’t something that shouldn’t be discussed at the dining room table. The more you think about it, plan for it and actively live it, the higher the quality aging you will have.
This is a book that should be read by everyone, whether alone or in a relationship, and is a loving gift to any of your friends. Thank you, Joy Loverde, for accumulating all the resources and writing this book.
August 7, 2022
I read "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" in preparation for a presentation and workshop that author, Joy Loverde, will lead this coming September for a women's organization that I belong to. Having just lost a parent, after a pretty intense period of caretaking, I have thought long and hard of late about many of the subjects covered in the book. "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" is particularly relevant and timely to me.
Takeaways:
1. The book is filled with a plethora of resources - suggested books, movies, YouTube videos, TED Talks, songs, television shows, and websites accompany each chapter. My only concern is that the book was published in 2017, and I wonder if the suggested resources are still available, relevant, and contain updated information. I did test this out a few times and found that the online resources I checked were still available and updated. Since 2017, however, there may be new and better resources and examples available.
2. I like the workbook aspects of the book and hope that we will begin to work on some of these things in the workshop. I would have appreciated even more of this.
3. Some of this seems a little old school to me - especially in terms of gender roles. It seems to address my parents' generation. On the other hand, I appreciated the frank inclusion of LGBTQ issues, sex, etc.
4. I really like Chapter 2, "Good-Bye Change, Hello Transition." Loverde is a member of The Transition Network, an organization for women over 5o who are experiencing some sort of transition, which I also belong to. The signature workshop of the organization, focuses on the work of William Bridges. This particular chapter nicely supports his work, as well the goals of TTN. It would be useful to include this somewhere in the TTN signature workshop.
5. I really enjoy the anecdotal aspects of the book and wish that Loverde had taken the time to include more anecdotal evidence to support the ideas that she presents here. I believe in the power of story, and the book could have used more of this. Sometimes the book becomes just a series of lists and resources. More true stories would have solidified Loverde's points.
An excellent resource. Now to have the courage to actually follow through with some of the tough stuff Loverde covers here.
Takeaways:
1. The book is filled with a plethora of resources - suggested books, movies, YouTube videos, TED Talks, songs, television shows, and websites accompany each chapter. My only concern is that the book was published in 2017, and I wonder if the suggested resources are still available, relevant, and contain updated information. I did test this out a few times and found that the online resources I checked were still available and updated. Since 2017, however, there may be new and better resources and examples available.
2. I like the workbook aspects of the book and hope that we will begin to work on some of these things in the workshop. I would have appreciated even more of this.
3. Some of this seems a little old school to me - especially in terms of gender roles. It seems to address my parents' generation. On the other hand, I appreciated the frank inclusion of LGBTQ issues, sex, etc.
4. I really like Chapter 2, "Good-Bye Change, Hello Transition." Loverde is a member of The Transition Network, an organization for women over 5o who are experiencing some sort of transition, which I also belong to. The signature workshop of the organization, focuses on the work of William Bridges. This particular chapter nicely supports his work, as well the goals of TTN. It would be useful to include this somewhere in the TTN signature workshop.
5. I really enjoy the anecdotal aspects of the book and wish that Loverde had taken the time to include more anecdotal evidence to support the ideas that she presents here. I believe in the power of story, and the book could have used more of this. Sometimes the book becomes just a series of lists and resources. More true stories would have solidified Loverde's points.
An excellent resource. Now to have the courage to actually follow through with some of the tough stuff Loverde covers here.
December 8, 2024
This book is a great resource, although, as a person in my 40's, I think I was a bit younger than the target audience (which I imagine is around 60+.) I listened to the audio book version, and although it was well-narrated, I think there's a good case to be made for picking up a physical copy of this one. The book is jam-packed with information, and a lot of the audio book felt like the narrator was reading out various URLs. The narrator also frequently referenced the accompanying audio book PDF. Any time you have to frequently refer to a PDF when listening to an audio book, I think it's simpler to just opt for a physical (or e-book) format rather than the audio format.
2024 Reading Challenge Category: A book with a question in the title.
2024 Reading Challenge Category: A book with a question in the title.
July 20, 2022
This is a book I have to have as a reference. I'm 53, no kids, no ex, no siblings. My mother is 76 and relying on me more and more. I'm quiet and don't have friends nearby, most out of state. When I try to picture myself in ten years I see myself living alone with my mother having passed on, as well as my dog having passed on. I work part time now for various reasons. I feel my mom needs me. Also I'm 53 with no recent experience in anything other than shelving books. I would likely have to take a full time job that pays next to nothing and even then I don't know if I could afford to maintain the house I live in. Also, I admit to being lazy, and afraid to take any leap. I don't want to leave the job I have that is 3-4 days a week with flexible hours so I can take mom to her doctor's appointments. So, I don't see myself as having much of a future. Also, I would not likely get a dog because I would have to leave it alone all day while I work which is not fair. Also, I would not get a puppy, I'd get an older dog because I don't know how long I'll be functional (morbidly obese). But to get a senior dog likely means more vet bills which I can't imagine being able to afford.
The book was a little reassuring and I am getting my own copy as a reference. If you're getting older and fear the future, get this book. It's helpful and reassuring.
The book was a little reassuring and I am getting my own copy as a reference. If you're getting older and fear the future, get this book. It's helpful and reassuring.
January 8, 2018
A day does not go by that I do not worry about what is going to happen to me the older I get and start needing some kind of care and attention. This book not only has the answers I was looking for, but it also gave me a new and more positive perspective about old age in general. I also love the worksheets in this book.
January 25, 2024
Is there a book, article, or writer that discusses aging alone whose main themes aren't "you can't age alone" and "find a support group"? If you find one that doesn't have a tone that is little critical and implies that being introverted or childless is a character flaw and actually addresses how to safely and successfully be a solo-ager, please let me know. This book isn't it.
April 14, 2018
This is an OK book, depending on what you are looking for. I have read enough of this kind of book that I guess I was looking for more details and worksheets. But it's a good book to get you started.
June 1, 2024
Acceptance of your own aging paves the way for breakthroughs of all kinds. Plan ahead. You are the one and only person you can forever count on.
Whoever said, The problem is you think you have time is right.
Whoever said, The problem is you think you have time is right.
December 8, 2020
To me this was not a book to read front cover to cover. It was best read in bits and pieces that pertain to my life and situation.
There was quite a lot of good information jammed into the book. However (for me) it wasn't quite what I was looking for at this time. Maybe another time...
There was quite a lot of good information jammed into the book. However (for me) it wasn't quite what I was looking for at this time. Maybe another time...
April 5, 2018
Deal With The Realities of Aging
Joy tells it like it is! This book is full of great advice about preparing for old age. Most people are in denial of the realities addressed.
Joy tells it like it is! This book is full of great advice about preparing for old age. Most people are in denial of the realities addressed.
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August 3, 2019Good Reference Book
November 23, 2019
Great book to keep as a reference concerning changes and challenges of old age and what can be done to ease the transition.
November 30, 2019
Great resources and insight. A must read for seniors.
June 21, 2023
Lots of very helpful info for those of use heading into our senior years.
March 14, 2024
I'm probably not the prime audience for this book but none the less it has a lot of good information that needs to be chewed on and the longer time to think about it the better I suppose.
Some of the advice and knowledge is pretty general and basic but she gives lots of information and resources to expand on her advice and knowledge. So a lot of it might be things you haven't even thought of like burial options and insurance or living options etc so its nice that these ideas are brought forward into your mind and the resources she gives that can open you up to more research you can do.
I also enjoyed that she didn't sugarcoat anything or tried to shy away from the often harsh realities of aging and especially aging alone. All in all some of the information is pretty generic and kind of trite but it really does broach the subject and she gives plenty of resources for further information. Plus plenty of her ideas are pretty good and it definitely gives you plenty of material to work through as you make your plans for old age and death. My main takeaway and what I gleaned the most from this book is she said "curiosity is the killer of fear", I really enjoy that sentiment. Also I figure lots of money is needed so I'm gonna keep that in mind too.
Some of the advice and knowledge is pretty general and basic but she gives lots of information and resources to expand on her advice and knowledge. So a lot of it might be things you haven't even thought of like burial options and insurance or living options etc so its nice that these ideas are brought forward into your mind and the resources she gives that can open you up to more research you can do.
I also enjoyed that she didn't sugarcoat anything or tried to shy away from the often harsh realities of aging and especially aging alone. All in all some of the information is pretty generic and kind of trite but it really does broach the subject and she gives plenty of resources for further information. Plus plenty of her ideas are pretty good and it definitely gives you plenty of material to work through as you make your plans for old age and death. My main takeaway and what I gleaned the most from this book is she said "curiosity is the killer of fear", I really enjoy that sentiment. Also I figure lots of money is needed so I'm gonna keep that in mind too.
July 30, 2025
One of my favorite quotes: “Don’t procrastinate: Doing nothing almost always guarantees that eventually you will be at the mercy of other people making decisions on your behalf - and that is the last thing you want to have happen.”
This book will inspire you to start planning ahead. It has a wealth of online resources which help answer the question in the title. Related to YNAB, there is a chapter devoted to “The Fierce Urgency of Money”. If the author knew about YNAB Together, it would be one solution for making sure you stay involved in your money matters even if a family member is managing it for you. In that chapter alone, a wealth of resources are listed for such things as lowering your tax bill, long term care planning, guidance with social security, tips on enrolling in Medicare, POA information, taking online precautions with your finances, and I personally got several tips to finetune my ICE folder (In Case of Emergencies). It also has creative ideas if you want to start an income stream while retired.
It is definitely a good book if you are a planner/ list maker.
This book will inspire you to start planning ahead. It has a wealth of online resources which help answer the question in the title. Related to YNAB, there is a chapter devoted to “The Fierce Urgency of Money”. If the author knew about YNAB Together, it would be one solution for making sure you stay involved in your money matters even if a family member is managing it for you. In that chapter alone, a wealth of resources are listed for such things as lowering your tax bill, long term care planning, guidance with social security, tips on enrolling in Medicare, POA information, taking online precautions with your finances, and I personally got several tips to finetune my ICE folder (In Case of Emergencies). It also has creative ideas if you want to start an income stream while retired.
It is definitely a good book if you are a planner/ list maker.
June 28, 2018
A practical guide, often in Q&A format, addressing various aspects of preparing for and dealing with the issues of growing older; losing independence, relatives & friends, and helpers; navigating medical decisions and difficulties; and financial aspects.
This is not an especially captivating read, but more like an instruction manual for ourselvesover the coming years. It seems to be geared toward women in their late 60s to late 70s, though it's applicable and useful for both sexes of middle age to dotage, though as it alludes to, the longer you wait to do some things the harder they are. There are quite a few websites listed, which means this book will unfortunately be dated fairly quickly.
This is not an especially captivating read, but more like an instruction manual for ourselvesover the coming years. It seems to be geared toward women in their late 60s to late 70s, though it's applicable and useful for both sexes of middle age to dotage, though as it alludes to, the longer you wait to do some things the harder they are. There are quite a few websites listed, which means this book will unfortunately be dated fairly quickly.
April 16, 2022
Minuteman. Workbook. Lots of how-to lists, etc, mostly covered by previous books in LWN.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 28, 2025
Had some good advice but also seemed geared towards homeowners/people with money. I didn't like the listing of websites to visit in eachchapter, would have preferred more content.
August 17, 2025
Interesting information with valuable resources throughout the book.
July 17, 2024
This book will (hopefully) be on my currently-reading list for some time, as I have convinced certain family members to read it with me, and discuss — one chapter at a time — during our weekly breakfast meetings.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews