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Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy
After suffering from chronic stomach problems for several years, Bella Mahaya Carter adopted a 100 percent raw, vegan diet, which eased her symptoms but didn’t completely heal her. She looked to her mind for answers, and discovered that her own thinking was sabotaging her health and happiness. Anxiety and a desire to heal it holistically—even before knowing what “it” was—is at the heart of this story, which reveals one writer’s struggle to face her fears, release perfectionism, surrender things beyond her control, and find validation within for her life and work. Divided into three sections—body, mind, and spirit—Raw is a chronicle of Carter’s journey, which dragged her, kicking and screaming, into spiritual adulthood.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
291 pages, Paperback
Published May 22, 2018
12 people are currently reading
60 people want to read
About the author
Bella Mahaya Carter
4 books18 followersWelcome to my goodreads page! I’m a creative writing teacher, coach, speaker, and author of three books. I believe in the power of writing to heal and transform lives and I view publishing as an opportunity to deepen self-awareness, nourish meaningful connections, and delight in peak experiences while being of service. My most recent book is WHERE DO YOU HANG YOUR HAMMOCK: FINDING PEACE OF MIND WHILE YOU WRITE, PUBLISH, AND PROMOTE YOUR BOOK. I’m also the author of an award-winning memoir, RAW: MY JOURNEY FROM ANXIETY TO JOY and a collection of poems, SECRETS OF MY SEX. I’ve worked with hundreds of writers since 2008 and have degrees in literature, film, and spiritual psychology. My poetry, essays, fiction, and interviews have appeared in Mind, Body Green; The Sun; Lilith; Fearless Soul; Writer’s Bone; Women Writers, Women’s Books; Chic Vegan; Bad Yogi Magazine; Jane Friedman’s blog; Pick the Brain; the Spiritual Media Blog; Literary Mama; several anthologies; and elsewhere.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 28, 2017
In this inspiring journey to liberation, the author shares the changes that she made to move from 'I wore failure like a shawl, clutched it around my shoulders and schlepped it with me,' to whole health and joy—body, mind, and spirit. Gift yourself with the wisdom in this beautifully written book.
November 27, 2017
Courage. Tenacity. Hope. These three big words describe the author of this intimate view into a woman's journey for identity and wholeness and healing. It is as if Ms. Carter cracked open her heart and soul with each word, each step of her journey to empower us-the reader-to see/glimpse our inner potential to heal what needs to be healed both within and without. The path and or journey to healing is different for everyone. We are individuals with our own unique history and background. Yet this memoir has something for just about everyone. While reading the book, I became acutely aware of how diet affects my physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. There was this voice saying, "You need to be more attentive. You need to be more concerned with what you feed your body. Your body is a treasure house and you need to respect and be gentle with this treasure." I doubt that I would think so deeply about food if I had not read this memoir.
As I read about the author's journey through the raw food phase, and then through the grief of family members and her search for inner peace, the title began to take on multiple meanings. This isn't a book just about eating raw foods. This is a book about raw emotions and raw feelings that go to the heart of the author's lives. And in that sense, into each of our lives. My own rawness began to emerge and I found myself facing and confronting my own issues about my career, my artist life, my creative life, money and family and housework and the meaning of success versus failure. It is rare for a book to cause such commotion within me. Kudos to Ms. Carter for daring to open herself to the journey and exposing the most vulnerable parts of her, and for sharing all of this with us. It's a gift to be treasured; much like good food entering the body, the words on the pages enter into our psyche and nourish what needs to be nourished.
I have been on a spiritual path for years; probably since I was a little girl. I admire and respect a woman who finds herself on such a path and sticks to it until she can write the final chapter and name it, "Healing." We live in a time where each one of us needs to take responsibility for our happiness and good health. Ms. Carter is showing us what her process has been. I believe she wants each one of us to find the way to our healing. Isn't this one definition of healer?
For those of you who are searching, you just might find what they are looking for in these brave and honest pages written by someone who has been there and done that.
As I read about the author's journey through the raw food phase, and then through the grief of family members and her search for inner peace, the title began to take on multiple meanings. This isn't a book just about eating raw foods. This is a book about raw emotions and raw feelings that go to the heart of the author's lives. And in that sense, into each of our lives. My own rawness began to emerge and I found myself facing and confronting my own issues about my career, my artist life, my creative life, money and family and housework and the meaning of success versus failure. It is rare for a book to cause such commotion within me. Kudos to Ms. Carter for daring to open herself to the journey and exposing the most vulnerable parts of her, and for sharing all of this with us. It's a gift to be treasured; much like good food entering the body, the words on the pages enter into our psyche and nourish what needs to be nourished.
I have been on a spiritual path for years; probably since I was a little girl. I admire and respect a woman who finds herself on such a path and sticks to it until she can write the final chapter and name it, "Healing." We live in a time where each one of us needs to take responsibility for our happiness and good health. Ms. Carter is showing us what her process has been. I believe she wants each one of us to find the way to our healing. Isn't this one definition of healer?
For those of you who are searching, you just might find what they are looking for in these brave and honest pages written by someone who has been there and done that.
November 27, 2017
Bella's memoir was truly fascinating. Her honesty was evident as she shared her journey which was physical, emotional and spiritual. I finished the book in two days because honestly I could not put it down. Her writing reminded me of Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. It had that same compelling, urgency and storytelling magic. She brought you in quickly to her story and did not let the reader down. Bella truly opened herself up with the stories and with her words. She was gracious as she described the details involving her extended family, her husband and her quest for joy. I would highly recommend this novel to anyone who wants to understand that there truly is a path forward and that one can let go of anxiety and judgment. We can all relate to many parts of Bella's story. It was comforting and a beautiful read. Thank you to Bella for sharing so much of yourself and having the courage to do so.
March 3, 2021
Bella Mahaya Carter’s RAW has the three Hs—honesty, humility, and humor.
I finished her totally relatable, well-written book while on vacation at Club Med in Ixtapa. It was the perfect setting to be inspired. I started reading it with trepidation, considering her worldly sophistication and my redneck roots. My favorite foods are fried hog meat and runny fudge. Because of my own high anxiety and difficulty concentrating, I now read mostly thrillers about serial killers. Bella’s non-fiction book about healing the mind, body, and spirit had enough interesting narrative, and memorable people to hook me in. I may even cut back on fried food and eat more raw vegetables.
Her candor about her struggles is impressive--both with health and her writing career. From the beginning chapter, she puts us in an identifiable situation, a doctor’s waiting room with the feeling of not really belonging there. I kept jotting down memorable lines, like “salad was a bit player, never a leading lady.” Or about her reluctance to take colonics: “Having water sprayed up my ass was right up there with eating nothing but raw food.”
As a fellow writer, I envy Bella’s imagery, as in her description of a speaker who inspired her: “Her presence combined the beauty of an orchid with the stability of an anchor.” Every writer who has fears of publishing should read her “You Suck” poem on page 157. Her connection of anxiety to fear of success is brilliant. “It’s one thing to fall into a pit [anxiety]; it’s another when you start decorating your pit.”
She beautifully connects and overlaps her big three—body, mind, spirit—and gives realistic, flexible solutions.
Wanda Maureen Miller
I finished her totally relatable, well-written book while on vacation at Club Med in Ixtapa. It was the perfect setting to be inspired. I started reading it with trepidation, considering her worldly sophistication and my redneck roots. My favorite foods are fried hog meat and runny fudge. Because of my own high anxiety and difficulty concentrating, I now read mostly thrillers about serial killers. Bella’s non-fiction book about healing the mind, body, and spirit had enough interesting narrative, and memorable people to hook me in. I may even cut back on fried food and eat more raw vegetables.
Her candor about her struggles is impressive--both with health and her writing career. From the beginning chapter, she puts us in an identifiable situation, a doctor’s waiting room with the feeling of not really belonging there. I kept jotting down memorable lines, like “salad was a bit player, never a leading lady.” Or about her reluctance to take colonics: “Having water sprayed up my ass was right up there with eating nothing but raw food.”
As a fellow writer, I envy Bella’s imagery, as in her description of a speaker who inspired her: “Her presence combined the beauty of an orchid with the stability of an anchor.” Every writer who has fears of publishing should read her “You Suck” poem on page 157. Her connection of anxiety to fear of success is brilliant. “It’s one thing to fall into a pit [anxiety]; it’s another when you start decorating your pit.”
She beautifully connects and overlaps her big three—body, mind, spirit—and gives realistic, flexible solutions.
Wanda Maureen Miller
November 19, 2017
Anyone who has been on the path of awakening and self-discovery will recognize themselves in Bella Mahaya Carter’s raw examination of her journey towards wholeness. Bella’s courage in sharing herself is sure to guide and inspire others who wish to lead their authentic lives.
Bella has talents and accomplishments I could only dream of. Doors have opened for her and despite her fears, she has walked through and challenged herself. She has been successful on so many levels. And yet her book shows that the outside often does not reflect a person’s interior experiences.
Bella’s book is sure to help women, especially younger women, on their journeys as she’s laid out a path for them.
I am older than Bella and had experienced some of the same issues and tried some of the same “remedies,” a decade or few before her. Bella‘s words took me back to those days when I searched for answers. I eventually learned to drop the questions and life has been easier.
Bella has many gifts and a wonderful, loving, gentle healing spirit. I wish we lived closer and were friends.”
Bella has talents and accomplishments I could only dream of. Doors have opened for her and despite her fears, she has walked through and challenged herself. She has been successful on so many levels. And yet her book shows that the outside often does not reflect a person’s interior experiences.
Bella’s book is sure to help women, especially younger women, on their journeys as she’s laid out a path for them.
I am older than Bella and had experienced some of the same issues and tried some of the same “remedies,” a decade or few before her. Bella‘s words took me back to those days when I searched for answers. I eventually learned to drop the questions and life has been easier.
Bella has many gifts and a wonderful, loving, gentle healing spirit. I wish we lived closer and were friends.”
January 1, 2018
Raw is a beautifully written, gripping story of Bella Mahaya Carter’s journey from self-doubt to self-actualization. While becoming a raw vegan provides the backdrop to this book, this is more of a story about the common struggles we face with our own self-doubt and the anxiety that creeps into our lives, often manifesting in symptoms that lead us to believe there is an underlying physical ailment. Carter shares how a deep dive into her own spirituality led her to a path of healing that has enriched her life and let her blossom as a professional.
The way Carter lies herself raw for the reader draws you in to the journey she is on to heal herself. Anyone who has dealt with issues of self-doubt, anxiety, or a desire for others to see the best version of themselves (personally and professionally) will relate to this book. This book is the perfect nourishment for anyone with a spiritual inclination.
The way Carter lies herself raw for the reader draws you in to the journey she is on to heal herself. Anyone who has dealt with issues of self-doubt, anxiety, or a desire for others to see the best version of themselves (personally and professionally) will relate to this book. This book is the perfect nourishment for anyone with a spiritual inclination.
December 3, 2017
I couldn't put down "Raw". Bella Mahaya Carter takes us along on her tumultuous, beautiful, heartfelt journey, as the title says, 'from Anxiety to Joy"..Her "Raw" honesty in the telling of her story is so brave and inspiring for anyone struggling with anxiety, and anyone who wants to make a change and forge a healthier connection between their mind and their body, or anyone who just wants to curl up with a compelling memoir. Her rich details punctuate the greater theme and sometimes had me chuckling (Lion King costume) or swallowing a lump in my throat (her dying mother's beside). As someone who has dealt with anxiety my whole life, I can't recommend this book enough. I plan to read it again with a highlighter in hand.
October 29, 2017
As a fellow writer and spiritual traveler, I so loved this book. Bella takes us on a journey that starts out as a digestive issue... and then dives deep into family issues, anxiety and artist insecurity. The "I'm not good enough" yammering voices in her head plague her for years -- and yet she persists and grows and will not give up until she's figured things out. And part of figuring things out... is letting go. That and the many other lessons hit home for me. The writing is specific, detailed and entertaining. This is a compelling and enlightening read for anyone who is on a challenging life path and wants to see how someone else went on hers.
October 29, 2017
In Raw: A Midlife Quest for Health and Happiness, Bella Mahaya Carter captures the challenges and opportunities of being born with many gifts, including those of a dancer, a researcher, an intuitive, and a teacher. Her book radiates with her vibrant energy as she learns to listen to her body, her fears, her memories, her mentors, her muse, and her own stream of consciousness. The reader learns from and is inspired by her courage, her mastery, and her generosity of spirit.
Roni Beth Tower, Ph.D., award-winning author of Miracle at Midlife: A Transatlantic Romance and clinical psychologist.
October 29, 2017
Bella Mahaya Carter writes with vulnerability, humor, and wholehearted honesty. She shines a light on the truth that self care is vitally necessary if we hope not only to nurture our own gifts, but to share them with the world as well. Bella Mahaya Carter lovingly reminds us that healthy food, family, creativity, mentorship, and mental and physical health are all deeply connected. They make up the bedrock of our lives. They should never be taken for granted. I loved reading this book. Thank you for the inspiration!
October 29, 2017
I was warmed by the authors raw expose of her struggle to health. Her words landed softly on my heart and her beautiful yet difficult journey informed, enlightened and entertained me. I enjoyed the book immensely feeling with the turn of each page my body, mind and spirit knit together a little more. Placing it in my bookshelf I simultaneously felt the desire to cultivate and focus on my own health so I too can flourish just as Bella has done.
Lara Casanova, author of Heartbreak, Healing and Happiness
Lara Casanova, author of Heartbreak, Healing and Happiness
November 21, 2017
I love this book! A great read for anyone on a quest for health, happiness, and inner peace. Beautifully written, with raw openness, Bella takes you on her journey as she tries to figure out what is wrong with her body and how best to heal herself. Along the way are entertaining stories, wisdom about anxiety and happiness, and plenty of obstacles which cause her to change course. At one point she wonders, “What if every obstacle we face is an essential part of our journey; a lesson disguised as a problem?” As she walked through each lesson in her life, I did too.
November 21, 2017
Bella Mahaya Carter's "RAW" tells the story of a women's journey to accept herself on her own terms. Her path is filled with obstacles many women will find intimately familiar: food, eating, mental health, motherhood, anxiety, insecurity, and ambition. Bella's struggle to heal herself in mind, body, and spirit reminds us of the inner wisdom that resides in all of us and the difficulty of accessing it. Her honest, unflinching, relatable, and beautifully-told story is a modern-day search for self. Bella's journey will, no doubt, be a salve for so many. I highly recommend it!
December 20, 2017
Bella Mahaya Carter has written a brilliant memoir sharing the inner workings of her self with others. We all have these ‘stories’ and ‘secret experiences’ that are difficult to share, but once they are dealt with, we can grow as a person and understand our true selves. The book takes you on her personal journey to understand herself and in the process becomes a cathartic experience for the reader. I have learned a great deal about myself by reading this book and highly recommend it to others.
November 1, 2017
Bella Mahaya Carter’s Raw is a fascinating exploration of the issues, choices and conflicts related to adopting a new approach to nourishing oneself inside and out. This aptly titled book covers territory that is raw, not just the author’s diet, but the journey itself. The writing is searing, yet graceful, with many intriguing passages. I particularly enjoyed when she includes her poetry, which is spare, chiseled and beautiful. A brave and powerful book.
July 17, 2018
Raw is a powerful journey of self healing and wisdom. Carter writes with curiosity, humor, self awareness and honesty. I especially appreciate how her specific story focused on eating and healing is applicable to anyone who has ever felt like an outsider because of sobriety, abstinence, or any other choices for health that friends and family might not understand or accept. Also very relevant for creatives seeking the courage to lean into their aspirations.
November 7, 2017
Truly a "raw" and authentic memoir of a journey from dis-ease to discovery. Many highly resonant and engaging moments. Bella is generous in sharing small details that will bring great comfort and direction to others. She shares dreams and fears that many of us have but lack her willingness to be so vulnerable and her ability to articulate her experiences.
October 29, 2017
The journey shared in Raw is vulnerable and relatable, and the author’s willingness to be open and honest will provide insight and healing for others.
June 13, 2022
I was devastated by this book. Not only was the writing itself exquisite, but I recognized myself in so many passages it was like the author had been spying on my thoughts!
The story begins with one woman’s journey to healing through a raw food diet. (I found this part super interesting because I’ve also experienced radical physical improvements through a restricted diet. I don’t know that I would go full raw, but after reading this book I’m interested in incorporating more raw food into my diet overall to see how I feel.) But then the story shifts as the narrator begins to grow. We see her first tackle her limiting beliefs on the mental level, and then the root of her ongoing, longstanding anxiety on the spiritual level. Again, this REALLY spoke to me as I’ve taken a very similar journey in the past decade. It was so comforting to read the story of someone who has had eerily similar experiences and also had the skill and power to articulate those experiences in such a profound and moving way.
However, what impressed me the most about this memoir was the author’s unflinching honesty. She really went there. She included things that she upfront said were embarrassing or awkward to talk about for her, but she still was brave enough to be really honest about her experience. I found this so inspiring. I’ve definitely read my fair share of memoirs that felt a bit too light and a bit shallow. I feel like I can always tell when the author is glossing over things or not really presenting the entire complex truth. This book was the opposite of that. I felt like I got the full gorgeous, dark, sparkly, multi-faceted truth and that the author did not at all shy away from sharing that with me.
Reading this book was an amazing experience, and I feel like it helped me connect some dots for myself about my own anxiety as well. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves memoir, autobiography, stories of women writers, or is interested in spiritual psychology, or healing anxiety. Phenomenal read.
The story begins with one woman’s journey to healing through a raw food diet. (I found this part super interesting because I’ve also experienced radical physical improvements through a restricted diet. I don’t know that I would go full raw, but after reading this book I’m interested in incorporating more raw food into my diet overall to see how I feel.) But then the story shifts as the narrator begins to grow. We see her first tackle her limiting beliefs on the mental level, and then the root of her ongoing, longstanding anxiety on the spiritual level. Again, this REALLY spoke to me as I’ve taken a very similar journey in the past decade. It was so comforting to read the story of someone who has had eerily similar experiences and also had the skill and power to articulate those experiences in such a profound and moving way.
However, what impressed me the most about this memoir was the author’s unflinching honesty. She really went there. She included things that she upfront said were embarrassing or awkward to talk about for her, but she still was brave enough to be really honest about her experience. I found this so inspiring. I’ve definitely read my fair share of memoirs that felt a bit too light and a bit shallow. I feel like I can always tell when the author is glossing over things or not really presenting the entire complex truth. This book was the opposite of that. I felt like I got the full gorgeous, dark, sparkly, multi-faceted truth and that the author did not at all shy away from sharing that with me.
Reading this book was an amazing experience, and I feel like it helped me connect some dots for myself about my own anxiety as well. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves memoir, autobiography, stories of women writers, or is interested in spiritual psychology, or healing anxiety. Phenomenal read.
June 29, 2019
Raw is an unflinching and compassionate look at one woman’s search for personal understanding. The author touches on the very human desire to feel better physically while she also searches for peace of mind about her life and her work. It is a beautiful portrait of the author’s tenacity and determination to live her best life.
August 30, 2019
Much more than a recipe for "raw food," this is a recipe to wellness. Bella shares her physical, emotional and spiritual journey with deep honesty.
April 10, 2022
I don’t tend to read memoirs, more drawn to the particulars of good fiction, but I came upon this detailed, authentic, and bracingly honest memoir by Bella Mahaya Carter, and jumped right in. With an admirable depth of heart-and-soul exposing honesty, Mahaya Carter chronicles her journey, across several spectrums and methods, towards good health—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—and as we follow her in her dogged, relentless search, we, too, feel the ups and down, joys and heartaches, celebrations and crashes, along the way.
Particularly for those who experience chronic anxiety and the many tentacles that can emerge from that strange and gripping affliction, there will likely be much in what Mahaya Carter either chooses or simply experiences in her life that will resonate, that will mirror, that will present as new and hopeful ideas or well-known and familiar events, and that is the strongest, most meaningful aspect of the book. Her candid, sometimes breathtakingly frank, disclosures are sure to prick thought and spark feeling in all readers, but certainly amongst those traveling similar journeys. And because she offers hope, as well as various options for healing, recovery, and the capturing, or recapturing, of true joy, it becomes a worthwhile and consequential read.
Particularly for those who experience chronic anxiety and the many tentacles that can emerge from that strange and gripping affliction, there will likely be much in what Mahaya Carter either chooses or simply experiences in her life that will resonate, that will mirror, that will present as new and hopeful ideas or well-known and familiar events, and that is the strongest, most meaningful aspect of the book. Her candid, sometimes breathtakingly frank, disclosures are sure to prick thought and spark feeling in all readers, but certainly amongst those traveling similar journeys. And because she offers hope, as well as various options for healing, recovery, and the capturing, or recapturing, of true joy, it becomes a worthwhile and consequential read.
November 20, 2023
▪️health, wellness, change
▪️motivated me to think about grad school and future career paths
▪️a real story about a real woman who embraced her full potential in small and simple ways to live her best life
▪️7 areas of wellness
▪️motivated me to think about grad school and future career paths
▪️a real story about a real woman who embraced her full potential in small and simple ways to live her best life
▪️7 areas of wellness
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews