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Unknown Binding
"You gave up everything for that bastard and see what you got in return?"
"At twenty-six this is my life. No college degree, no savings, no husband."
"The tears run down when I think of what was deprived from Vivian, of what was deprived from both of us: The right to lean on someone, the promise that he will always be there. The father he chose not to be, who abandoned his daughter before she was even born. I didn't imagine he, of all men, would run away, but he did and he left us alone."
"We never had a future together. I was his escape, the only comfort he knew. The one who accepted him unconditionally, the one who gave up on the future he didn't even know was within her reach. . I was the rock on which he shattered, until he no longer needed me. He had to stay away from me to survive. I was unnecessary baggage, a weight that dragged him down. So he cut the rope, swam to shore and left me to drown. ."
""Have you dated anyone?" The dumb question still preoccupies me, as if that's what is important. "No one serious," he answers evenly. "I always knew that the moment would come when I would leave everything and come back here, and I didn't want to leave anyone behind." "Except me," I say in frustration."
"How many girls have you been with? Not many. I don't know if I believe him or why it even matters. He was with others, while I stopped my life."
"Colin had no problem sleeping with others, while I waited and waited and convinced myself no one would want"
""You sacrificed your future for him, and he left?""
"I want more from my life. I want . . ." "You want more?" I snort, "With Lauren?" "We’ve gone out twice, I'm not planning a wedding or anything like that." He puts his hands in his pockets. "Why plan a wedding if you're not going to show up anyway?""
""What are you thinking about?" He breaks the silence. "About Lauren," I whisper, "About you moving on.""
""Do you think it's entertaining, that you've spent the past few years screwing and learning some new tricks?""
"When I was in the army," he keeps stroking my cheek, creating an incomprehensible contrast between his delicate touch and the harsh words that come out of his mouth, "there were times when I wanted to die. It seemed like the perfect solution. You would get money, our daughter would get a heroic father, and you'd never find out what your father did."
"I haven't been with anyone since you left, Colin." I look down, my cheeks beginning to burn. "I'm not ready." "So we make out like teenagers," he chuckles. "It'll be fun."
"My mouth misses your lips." I blame the late hour for the confessions he hears from me today. "I'm so pathetic."
"I can't stop thinking about the others." I look down. "I know." "I'm jealous, and I'm afraid to disappoint you."
"Have you slept with someone without protection?" My voice shakes with indignation. "Yes." He doesn't take his eyes off me when he chooses not to lie. Son of a bitch. Couldn't you beautify the truth? "Recently?" I pray to God that I'll receive the answer I want. "Not recently." He doesn't dare come near me, not even a single inch. "Are you clean?" The tears come to me from the very thought that I should even ask, that I don't know. I was supposed to know everything about him, and here stands the man who was supposed to be my husband in the room that was supposed to be our bedroom, and he is a stranger. "I'm clean. I'll still wear a condom, and your time is over."

