Get Thee Behind Me, Santa: An Inexcusably Filthy Children's Time-Travel Farce for Adults Only

by Phillip Andrew Bennett Low, Kay Kirscht (Illustrator)

It’s December 21st, 2012, and something’s gone terribly wrong with the timeline. Now it’s up to Saint Nicholas, a soft-boiled detective, and an unknown carpenter’s son named Jesus of Nazareth to set things right in this giddily blasphemous collection of literary parodies by internationally touring storyteller phillip andrew bennett low. Fully illustrated by cartoonist Kay Kirscht!

WARNING: May contain mature language, as well as immature and insensitive humor regarding genitalia, flatulence, regurgitation, sex, drugs, rock and roll, lies, videotape, duct tape, tapeworms, subversion of ethnic stereotypes, fulfilment of ethnic stereotypes, hate culture, rape culture, ape culture, horticulture, and/or a general posture of deep reverence for deep irreverence. Not for the faint of heart or stomach.

Genres: Humor

110 pages, Paperback

First published October 23, 2017

About the author

phillip andrew bennett low is a Chinese-American playwright and poet, storyteller and mime, theatre critic and libertarian activist. His solo performances have won acclaim from Minneapolis to Atlanta, New York to LA - even as far as Melbourne, Australia. He was the co-founder of the Rockstar Storytellers (a supergroup of bestselling Twin Cities spoken-word artists), founder and producer of the touring theatre troupe Maximum Verbosity, and founder and host of the country's only recurring open-mic dedicated to speculative fiction, "The Not-So-Silent Planet," and its associated podcast. He has published three collections, "Indecision Now!", "Get Thee Behind Me, Santa," and "Monsters in a Mirror."

Reviews

[Derek · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for free from the author in exchange for writing a review of it, which was super-cool of him.

Get Thee Behind Me, Santa: An Inexcusably Filthy Children's Time-Travel Farce for Adults Only by phillip andrew bennett low (who appears to be sticking with the all-lower-case thing, despite Goodreads's and auto-correct's efforts) is an off-the-wall noir-ish tale of blasphemy, time-travel, and social commentary on the hyper-commercialization of Christmas, interwoven with a series of "Carols" that certainly deliver on the book's subtitle. Plus, fun illustrations.

The quality on this one is a bit uneven. The plot has the zaniness of something you and your friends would conceive while consuming way too much cheap whiskey after your 2:00 college creative writing class gets out, and parts of it were truly funny, and I think the second half was much stronger than the first. The running gag of no one recognizing Jesus (even though that turned out to be plot relevant) was great, and mocking the many ridiculous plot elements of The Da Vinci Code is always a worthy endeavor (even if it comes a decade and a half too late).

Still, certain parts felt a bit tedious, unnecessarily repetitive, or overly verbose. Other parts (e.g., the chimp subplot) seem to have just been thrown in for sheer shock value, while not really delivering the shock part. And the book feels a little too self-congratulatory for its vulgarity.

I'd probably give this two and a half stars if that were an option. There's some good stuff in here and a lot of potential. I think the right editor could have made this into something really fun. On the whole, though, it's not quite there, in my opinion.

[Rem · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was 10 times crazier and more funny than the last one! Thank you so much Mr. Low for considering me to receive a copy to write a book review. I really appreciate it, and I needed the humor at this time. Definitely not something you'd want to read to your kids or your grandma, this book takes a spin on Christmas stories, poems and songs. Takes you for a wild ride and makes you appreciate life a little more.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really entertaining book. Sure it is dirty, some vulgar words, and not for the faint of heart.

But if you want a quick read, that will have you laughing and entertained with a "holiday theme" then I can recommend this book. If you are a "Church Lady" and want to get this to prove how much of a prude you are and complain how no one should read this.. then pick it up too. it may just put a smile on your face and have a little fun in life too.

[Bridgett Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.
This is a very Adult book with some very dirty Christmas carols strung through. I found it really funny at parts. If you like dirty humor then this is the book for you.

[Kenya Benjamin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a final copy of this book from a goodreads giveaway.

I found this book to be completely, riotously hilarious, but to be fair, it doesn't take much to make me laugh. This is not a book for anyone who gets sick easily, or can't take a joke. The jokes and scenarios found in this book can come across as quite offensive and crude and lewd and disgusting and harsh and unnecessary but that's what I loved about it. The "christmas carols" were probably my all time favourite part especially carol #1 Seven Reasons for the Season. I was cracking up from start to finish.

When the Jesus/Santa timeline gets screwed up, the angels drink a liquor store (anybody who understands that reference gets a cookie). Honestly though, if you're an offensively funny person, give this book a read.