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Сынология. Матери, воспитывающие сыновей
Why are boys so noisy? Why do they break things? Why are they fascinated with things that can burn, blind and cripple them? Why do they lose the gift of speech and get so smelly at adolescence?
All this and more is revealed, with some surprising conclusions about what we think we know about the differences between boys and girls, and a few tilts at sacred cows. With practical examples and case studies to help all mothers raising boys, there's particular comfort for single mothers worried about the lack of men in their son's lives. Whether you're a mum, a harassed grandparent, or a guardian raising boys who may not be your sons but are your boys all the same, this book's for you.
If you want effective strategies instead of platitudes, real solutions instead of catch-phrases, and a book with chapters on 'What mums want', 'It turns out Dad's not lazy, it's in his genes', 'Throwing like a girl', 'Lion taming: managing boys' behaviour', 'How to be a cool mum' and 'Trouble in Shoe-topia', then welcome to the real world of raising boys.
All this and more is revealed, with some surprising conclusions about what we think we know about the differences between boys and girls, and a few tilts at sacred cows. With practical examples and case studies to help all mothers raising boys, there's particular comfort for single mothers worried about the lack of men in their son's lives. Whether you're a mum, a harassed grandparent, or a guardian raising boys who may not be your sons but are your boys all the same, this book's for you.
If you want effective strategies instead of platitudes, real solutions instead of catch-phrases, and a book with chapters on 'What mums want', 'It turns out Dad's not lazy, it's in his genes', 'Throwing like a girl', 'Lion taming: managing boys' behaviour', 'How to be a cool mum' and 'Trouble in Shoe-topia', then welcome to the real world of raising boys.
395 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2009
43 people are currently reading
185 people want to read
About the author
Nigel Latta
20 books23 followersNigel Raymond Latta ONZM was a New Zealand clinical psychologist, author and broadcaster. He has been described as "New Zealand's best-known psychologist".
Nigel Raymond Latta was born and raised in Oamaru, New Zealand. He attended Waitaki Boys' High School & he studied Marine Science and Zoology at the University of Otago, and completed a Master of Philosophy with First Class Honours in Psychology at the University of Auckland, along with a postgraduate diploma in clinical psychology.
Latta worked as a consultant in his field for private companies and government social service agencies, including Department of Corrections, the New Zealand Police and Child Youth and Family.
In the 2010s, he became known for his true crime documentaries and psychology-based television series, as the host of Beyond The Darklands, The Politically Incorrect Guide to Teenagers and The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show, and a science show called Nigel Latta Blows Stuff Up, among others. In 2016, Latta co-found Ruckus Films, a production company which produced several feature documentaries including Born This Way: Awa’s Story and Stan. He also began presenting general interest television shows, such as The Hard Stuff with Nigel Latta, which approached social and political issues,and You've Been Scammed by Nigel Latta which examines common types of scams.
Latta was appointed an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit in the 2012 Queen's Birthday and Diamond Jubilee Honours, for services to psychology.
In September 2024, Latta revealed that he had been diagnosed with "inoperable and incurable" terminal stomach cancer, and that he was undergoing chemotherapy that had shrunk the tumour by about 60 percent. Latta was told that he had 6 to 12 months to live. In February 2025, the prognosis was reduced to four weeks after a scan indicated that the cancer had spread to his lungs. However, Latta later said that, because of the treatment he was receiving, he believed he would continue to live for "years and years". In March 2025, he stated that he was no longer terminally ill. Latta died on 30 September 2025, at the age of 58 at the Mercy Hospice in Ponsonby, Auckland.
Abridged from Wikipedia, information about his death from the Stuff website.
Nigel Raymond Latta was born and raised in Oamaru, New Zealand. He attended Waitaki Boys' High School & he studied Marine Science and Zoology at the University of Otago, and completed a Master of Philosophy with First Class Honours in Psychology at the University of Auckland, along with a postgraduate diploma in clinical psychology.
Latta worked as a consultant in his field for private companies and government social service agencies, including Department of Corrections, the New Zealand Police and Child Youth and Family.
In the 2010s, he became known for his true crime documentaries and psychology-based television series, as the host of Beyond The Darklands, The Politically Incorrect Guide to Teenagers and The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show, and a science show called Nigel Latta Blows Stuff Up, among others. In 2016, Latta co-found Ruckus Films, a production company which produced several feature documentaries including Born This Way: Awa’s Story and Stan. He also began presenting general interest television shows, such as The Hard Stuff with Nigel Latta, which approached social and political issues,and You've Been Scammed by Nigel Latta which examines common types of scams.
Latta was appointed an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit in the 2012 Queen's Birthday and Diamond Jubilee Honours, for services to psychology.
In September 2024, Latta revealed that he had been diagnosed with "inoperable and incurable" terminal stomach cancer, and that he was undergoing chemotherapy that had shrunk the tumour by about 60 percent. Latta was told that he had 6 to 12 months to live. In February 2025, the prognosis was reduced to four weeks after a scan indicated that the cancer had spread to his lungs. However, Latta later said that, because of the treatment he was receiving, he believed he would continue to live for "years and years". In March 2025, he stated that he was no longer terminally ill. Latta died on 30 September 2025, at the age of 58 at the Mercy Hospice in Ponsonby, Auckland.
Abridged from Wikipedia, information about his death from the Stuff website.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
January 14, 2016
My [failed] attempt to actually learn something about parenting. The book taught me that boys are loud and like farting noises, and you should let them make a huge mess out of their own room in order not to raise a criminal. However, if you do end up raising a criminal keep loving him because, after all, he is your son.
Well, well, well...
Well, well, well...
May 16, 2021
Latta shares his experience and insights in a light hearted way, which is easy to digest. Lots of practical advice, backed up with research and case studies to put it into context. The general message I've taken from this book is to be succinct when talking to my boys, spend more time having fun with them (without being a helicopter mum) and give them more responsibility (emphasising what's in it for them)! Mothers should not feel patronised- Latta is simply showing us how our boys may perceive our behaviour and how changing it can have a positive effect on their development!
June 8, 2014
Must read if you have a son, essential if you have two! Before they hit teenage years make sure you read his other book Politically Incorrect Guide to Teenagers, you will need it...
August 28, 2017
This was one of the most useful books I've read for a while and just what I needed to read at this point!
I appreciate that he lays out what science has shown and also where journalists and pop culture have exaggerated or distorted science such that we end up with harmful myths about boys, education and parenting that we in turn believe are proven facts.
On the teen years, I found myself surprisingly teary to read the last few lines in the closing chapter 'How To Be a Cool Mum,': "Have the wisdom of granite (which is of course that things work themselves out in time). The last point is probably the key one. He's likely to be a bit grumpy and rude during these years, but if you keep your head in the right place, and you have faith that he'll eventually work it out, that's what he'll remember."
Now Nigel Latta doesn't try to be politically correct or to make anyone happy. In fact I think he seemed to have fun being politically incorrect and speaking to his readers like an old friend in his kitchen (ie no need to be 100% accurate nor to avoid dramatic political references here and there - you know the references to 'pesky feminists' and the 'Israelis surrounded by millions of people who hate them and therefore needing to develop the best self-defence system for individuals.' [paraphrasing the last one]).
But as a reader and mother of two boys, that made it easier to trust him, even if I figured we'd disagree about how to treat with some of the issues of the world if we happened to be in a conversation together somewhere. What also helped was knowing that he wasn't writing as a theorist but as someone who is actively working with boys as parent himself and as a counsellor whose work for years has included young men who are criminal offenders, including the hardened criminal minority.
Though he does use a tone and style that initially make you wonder if he thinks most boys are 'just like the persona' he's projecting of himself (all traditional male except for his admission that he doesn't care for sport), I trusted him enough to follow through and it was soon clear that he absolutely recognises that boys come in all sorts of styles to be embraced. Yet overall there are some things generally and justly associated with boyhood and it would be folly to play those down just because we equally know there is no One Mould and not all boys fit the 'rough and tumble, arch-pragmatist, silent type.'
I hope I'm not convincing you NOT to read it. It's the most reassuring book I've read as a parent for a while. For context, one of my boys does fit the traditional male stereotype in many ways and always has and the other is very much the opposite. So, yes, read it and I assure you it's an easy accessible read. No jargon-overload.
And follow his advice not to take all his advice blindly. I for one will not give up on asking for tidy bedroooms. My boys went through a one year period of making their beds willingly and regularly so I will hang onto the hope that of course it's possible if we stay the course!
Though of course we have bigger things to worry about!
I appreciate that he lays out what science has shown and also where journalists and pop culture have exaggerated or distorted science such that we end up with harmful myths about boys, education and parenting that we in turn believe are proven facts.
On the teen years, I found myself surprisingly teary to read the last few lines in the closing chapter 'How To Be a Cool Mum,': "Have the wisdom of granite (which is of course that things work themselves out in time). The last point is probably the key one. He's likely to be a bit grumpy and rude during these years, but if you keep your head in the right place, and you have faith that he'll eventually work it out, that's what he'll remember."
Now Nigel Latta doesn't try to be politically correct or to make anyone happy. In fact I think he seemed to have fun being politically incorrect and speaking to his readers like an old friend in his kitchen (ie no need to be 100% accurate nor to avoid dramatic political references here and there - you know the references to 'pesky feminists' and the 'Israelis surrounded by millions of people who hate them and therefore needing to develop the best self-defence system for individuals.' [paraphrasing the last one]).
But as a reader and mother of two boys, that made it easier to trust him, even if I figured we'd disagree about how to treat with some of the issues of the world if we happened to be in a conversation together somewhere. What also helped was knowing that he wasn't writing as a theorist but as someone who is actively working with boys as parent himself and as a counsellor whose work for years has included young men who are criminal offenders, including the hardened criminal minority.
Though he does use a tone and style that initially make you wonder if he thinks most boys are 'just like the persona' he's projecting of himself (all traditional male except for his admission that he doesn't care for sport), I trusted him enough to follow through and it was soon clear that he absolutely recognises that boys come in all sorts of styles to be embraced. Yet overall there are some things generally and justly associated with boyhood and it would be folly to play those down just because we equally know there is no One Mould and not all boys fit the 'rough and tumble, arch-pragmatist, silent type.'
I hope I'm not convincing you NOT to read it. It's the most reassuring book I've read as a parent for a while. For context, one of my boys does fit the traditional male stereotype in many ways and always has and the other is very much the opposite. So, yes, read it and I assure you it's an easy accessible read. No jargon-overload.
And follow his advice not to take all his advice blindly. I for one will not give up on asking for tidy bedroooms. My boys went through a one year period of making their beds willingly and regularly so I will hang onto the hope that of course it's possible if we stay the course!
Though of course we have bigger things to worry about!
April 18, 2022
There is no such thing as a perfect parenting book.
A lot of the time they are either they are too prescriptive, too gender-essentialist, or too wishy-washy.
This one? It's pretty straightforward, spends a good chunk of time focusing on how boys and girls aren't actually all that different, debunks some of the myths around boys and education, and leaves you feeling like so long as you give a toss, your boy should turn out alright. And, that it's ok to stuff up sometimes.
In a nutshell: Have adventures, be silly with them, have dessert first sometimes, have simple and clear boundaries, and give him space to talk. Treat rule breaking with common sense, and law breaking with intensity. Love him deeply, openly, and as physically and verbally as he will let you get away with.
This one does have a few moments of hetero-normativity, and often a bit repetitive, but I honestly struggle to complete most parenting books, but I laughed my way through this one and came out the other end thinking maybe I'm doing kind of alright.
A lot of the time they are either they are too prescriptive, too gender-essentialist, or too wishy-washy.
This one? It's pretty straightforward, spends a good chunk of time focusing on how boys and girls aren't actually all that different, debunks some of the myths around boys and education, and leaves you feeling like so long as you give a toss, your boy should turn out alright. And, that it's ok to stuff up sometimes.
In a nutshell: Have adventures, be silly with them, have dessert first sometimes, have simple and clear boundaries, and give him space to talk. Treat rule breaking with common sense, and law breaking with intensity. Love him deeply, openly, and as physically and verbally as he will let you get away with.
This one does have a few moments of hetero-normativity, and often a bit repetitive, but I honestly struggle to complete most parenting books, but I laughed my way through this one and came out the other end thinking maybe I'm doing kind of alright.
September 27, 2020
I am a big Nigel Latta fan... I love that he deals with the serious subject of child raising with a healthy dose of humour and irony.
I needed to read this book again, as the mother of a bolshy 14 year old boy. And whilst he does not realise it himself, that bolshy boy should be thankful that I have because it has reminded me of some fundamental truths about boys that I had forgotten. I was turning into the typical nag of a mother and the book has reminded me that I need to back off!!!
I needed to read this book again, as the mother of a bolshy 14 year old boy. And whilst he does not realise it himself, that bolshy boy should be thankful that I have because it has reminded me of some fundamental truths about boys that I had forgotten. I was turning into the typical nag of a mother and the book has reminded me that I need to back off!!!
August 13, 2023
Re-read.
Good and practrical common sense advice from Nigel Latta, as always, but I was hoping for something better since it's pretty much a rehash of the contents from his previous books. Also the humor was a bit too much for me. I'm all for lightening the mood on some subjects but I felt it wasn't always appropriate when applied to some heavy topics (e.g. with young men go off the rails, self harm etc).
2.5 stars
Good and practrical common sense advice from Nigel Latta, as always, but I was hoping for something better since it's pretty much a rehash of the contents from his previous books. Also the humor was a bit too much for me. I'm all for lightening the mood on some subjects but I felt it wasn't always appropriate when applied to some heavy topics (e.g. with young men go off the rails, self harm etc).
2.5 stars
April 29, 2023
An enjoyable read. Gave me some great insight (with humour) of ways I could tap into the world of my son. It also supports what I'm doing already! Which is great! It could have been trimmed down a bit (the info on the boy crisis at the start) in some areas while other areas could have been developed further (how to support internet usuage).
June 4, 2017
Need all the help I can get!
Am soaking up snippets from near and far.
Wealth is all around us!
Am soaking up snippets from near and far.
Wealth is all around us!
June 12, 2017
Too inconsistent, messy.
January 17, 2021
A must read for all parents with boys. Good practical commonsense. Let them be boys and enjoy them
September 9, 2021
Sort of useful, sort of interesting. But annoyingly there were elements that just got hinted at
May 5, 2013
Great read for the frustrated and bewildered mother of lively boys! My eldest son is quite a challenge at times and this book really helped me see I am not alone in managing his behaviour. There are quite a few chapters of science stuff which got a little boring but mostly it was informative and very funny too. His humour helps what could be a very serious subject become light hearted and made me laugh out loud on many an occasion. Sanity in book with useful tools to manage their behaviour.
May 4, 2014
Author argues what all difference between sexes is not there by lightweighted assertions. You should raise your kid being "cool" parent. Sometimes it works but I dont believe in it. Next he talks about crime and youth. This part is really interesting because the author worked with difficult kids and he believes in theme.
January 24, 2016
I just loved this book!! I love the fact that the author doesn't give concrete and standard solutions but he mostly tries to explain to parents the way their children are thinking. And he bases on the idea that we, the parents, shouldn't try to change and make our children the way we would want them to be but we just have to understand and appreciate the true values that they already have.
March 9, 2010
Rereading this and loving it all over again. Common sense, humour and a great reminder to be wary of "statistics" and look carefully at how studies into various child-related areas are not only conducted but their methodologies before jumping on board with the research conclusions.
March 23, 2013
Loved it, less statistics at the beginning would have been great (I got the gist pretty rapidly), but after skipping that part - the book is pretty awesome, lighthearted and frank. Thank you for all the advice!
January 24, 2018
After “Before your kids drive you crazy” I expected much, much more. Unfortunately, this one was like a very long casual talk about nothing, promising more specific and useful information “in next chapters” or “a bit later”. Well, never happened. Waste of time.
May 3, 2010
really enjoy the way Nigel writes (and speaks)This is a great book with some brilliant examples and helpful hints.... will make myself read again in a few years as Master A grows up!
March 31, 2012
Lots of helpful insights and very light hearted.
July 16, 2012
The go to book for mother's raising son's on their own, this book gives you the insight you need to cope with understanding boys.
April 5, 2014
A sharp witty insight into the world of sons. Loved it.
Read
January 22, 2016gdhgfj
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews