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Perfectly Yourself: Discovering God's Dream for You
This life-changing book addresses the opportunities and obstacles we encounter when we decide to ask life's BIG questions: Who am I? What am I here for? Full of powerful and practical lessons, Matthew Kelly shows us how to find lasting happiness in a changing world. Newly revised to reflect an even greater emphasis on spiritual growth and realizing God's dreams for us, Perfectly Yourself is a book for anyone who has failed at a diet, survived the collapse of a relationship, or wondered if he or she would ever find a fulfilling career. Kelly teaches us how to find the balance between accepting ourselves and striving to become all God dreams for us to become. It's a book for all of us who long to be at peace with who we are, where we are, and what we are doing, not in some distant tomorrow, but here and nowtoday.
210 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
567 people are currently reading
1915 people want to read
About the author
Matthew Kelly
192 books1,414 followersMatthew Kelly is a best-selling author, speaker, thought leader, entrepreneur, consultant, spiritual leader, and innovator.
He has dedicated his life to helping people and organizations become the-best-version-of-themselves. Born in Sydney, Australia, he began speaking and writing in his late teens while he was attending business school. Since that time, 5 million people have attended his seminars and presentations in more than 50 countries.
Today, Kelly is an internationally acclaimed speaker, author, and business consultant. His books have been published in more than 30 languages, have appeared on The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists, and have sold more than 50 million copies.
In his early-twenties he developed "the-best-version-of-yourself" concept and has been sharing it in every arena of life for more than twenty-five years. It is quoted by presidents and celebrities, athletes and their coaches, business leaders and innovators, though perhaps it is never more powerfully quoted than when a mother or father asks a child, "Will that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself?"
Kelly's personal interests include golf, music, art, literature, investing, spirituality, and spending time with his wife, Meggie, and their children Walter, Isabel, Harry, Ralph, and Simon.
He has dedicated his life to helping people and organizations become the-best-version-of-themselves. Born in Sydney, Australia, he began speaking and writing in his late teens while he was attending business school. Since that time, 5 million people have attended his seminars and presentations in more than 50 countries.
Today, Kelly is an internationally acclaimed speaker, author, and business consultant. His books have been published in more than 30 languages, have appeared on The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists, and have sold more than 50 million copies.
In his early-twenties he developed "the-best-version-of-yourself" concept and has been sharing it in every arena of life for more than twenty-five years. It is quoted by presidents and celebrities, athletes and their coaches, business leaders and innovators, though perhaps it is never more powerfully quoted than when a mother or father asks a child, "Will that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself?"
Kelly's personal interests include golf, music, art, literature, investing, spirituality, and spending time with his wife, Meggie, and their children Walter, Isabel, Harry, Ralph, and Simon.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 257 reviews
January 7, 2018
Fantastic read! Even if you aren't christian/catholic, this will give you food for thought and help you strive for the best version of yourself in all aspects of life!
March 6, 2018
My parish was giving away copies of this book in preparation for Lent this year, an outreach effort that culminates in discussions of the book (and, hopefully, change in people's lives). A free book is a free book, so I took one, and it's been my bathroom reader: something to nibble away at for a couple months.
At least one of the reviews I saw criticised the simplicity of the book, and it's a valid observation: this is very much a back-to-the-basics book--a self-help book even. But it's not full of snake-oil and it is often useful to go back to the basics. For myself, at least, I am entirely too easily pulled into the details and the esoterica of life; sometimes, a little bit of 1+1=2 is good. If done well (which is another way of saying "not full of snake oil"), the basics will echo things already known--in my own case, I kept hearing Aristotle's Ethics in the background, which is a good thing.
I don't know that I would recommend anyone expect life-changing moments in reading this (though changing lives is the point here), as dramatically conceived, but this is a text full of reminders: good pop-up notifications to nudge the reader along towards the life of fulfillment.
At least one of the reviews I saw criticised the simplicity of the book, and it's a valid observation: this is very much a back-to-the-basics book--a self-help book even. But it's not full of snake-oil and it is often useful to go back to the basics. For myself, at least, I am entirely too easily pulled into the details and the esoterica of life; sometimes, a little bit of 1+1=2 is good. If done well (which is another way of saying "not full of snake oil"), the basics will echo things already known--in my own case, I kept hearing Aristotle's Ethics in the background, which is a good thing.
I don't know that I would recommend anyone expect life-changing moments in reading this (though changing lives is the point here), as dramatically conceived, but this is a text full of reminders: good pop-up notifications to nudge the reader along towards the life of fulfillment.
February 23, 2018
This bit of pop psychology sprinkled with a smattering of God language proposes to tell the reader how they can find happiness by being “perfectly yourself”. If it were not for the examples from work life, parenting and marriage, I would have thought I was reading a seventh grade mini-course text on personal development. The themes addressed, the simplistic tone, the over explanation of the most basic concepts, the unending repetition, the life principles highlighted, gave this an adolescent feel. As an adult reader, it was insulting on numerous levels. The author’s frequent mentions of his large audiences, his international speaking engagements, the thousands of people who sought his advice came across as braggadocious. 1.5 stars
April 8, 2021
I've read numerous books written by Matthew Kelly, but I have to say that this has been my favorite so far. This book is jammed full of nuggets of wisdom. I've highlighted spots throughout the manuscript that I want to remember and look back at for future reference. A few of Kelly's books lately felt like they were a bit disjointed and rushed to print so they'd be ready in time for the Christmas season to be passed out at local parishes. This book, however, has so much depth to it. It's something I want to go through again just to absorb the lessons better. Fifteen years after this was published, it's perhaps even more relevant today than when it was first released. (Note: I did read the 2017 revised version.)
January 2, 2023
I couldn’t finish this. Each page was mushy, trite self-help secular psychology with Christianity sprinkled in. Not sure who it’s for. Children, maybe? There was no depth at all and the bare minimum Christian content to count as a “Christian book.” Very repetitive.
Maybe my edges are calloused from the spiritual heavyweights of the Catholic tradition, and I’m unfairly expecting more sackcloth-and-ashes and Beatific Vision… but as far as I could tell, there’s absolutely none of that in this book, nor the other one I tried to read, “The Biggest Lie in Christianity”. It’s more like a walk through a primary school hallway and a Barnes & Noble self-help aisle.
I’m not entirely against a positive outlook, and I do believe people should not despise themselves, but for any Christian book to not at all (or hardly - I did not finish and skimmed the rest) speak like it believes the basics of the faith (God is ultimately our only happiness) is automatically suspicious.
It is not theologically strong enough to recommend to my Christian friends and it is not generally serious enough to recommend to my secular friends. It’s somewhere in between and it falls short on both fronts.
Maybe my edges are calloused from the spiritual heavyweights of the Catholic tradition, and I’m unfairly expecting more sackcloth-and-ashes and Beatific Vision… but as far as I could tell, there’s absolutely none of that in this book, nor the other one I tried to read, “The Biggest Lie in Christianity”. It’s more like a walk through a primary school hallway and a Barnes & Noble self-help aisle.
I’m not entirely against a positive outlook, and I do believe people should not despise themselves, but for any Christian book to not at all (or hardly - I did not finish and skimmed the rest) speak like it believes the basics of the faith (God is ultimately our only happiness) is automatically suspicious.
It is not theologically strong enough to recommend to my Christian friends and it is not generally serious enough to recommend to my secular friends. It’s somewhere in between and it falls short on both fronts.
December 19, 2017
A friend of mine went to one of his speeches and they had extra packets. She got me one and it had about 4-5 of his books. I have read/skimmed a few of them. They are all pretty much the same. They are good reminders of things most would agree bring happiness. This book had 9. The most meaningful to me were celebrate progress, simplify your life, be disciplined, seek the good in others and everything, and don’t think too far in the future: just do the next right thing.
If you had read any other of his books there really is no need to read this one.
If you had read any other of his books there really is no need to read this one.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 11, 2019
It had good nuggets of information; however, I did not agree with everything the author said. I also felt that the writing style was not in my favor. It felt as if it was a speech written for a school paper and with it came awkward verbiage, unnecessary repetition of examples, and it was almost as if it was speaking at you rather than for or with you.
November 29, 2018
His Catholic faith considered, Matthew Kelly has written a great book on helping everyone find a way to reconnect with who they are authentically. Summaries at the end of the chapter and some exercises that are not Catholic centered are actually quite helpful
August 19, 2020
I really enjoyed this book. Kelly's nine lessons are great points to focus daily reflections or meditations upon. Kelly breaks down important ideas like character and virtue and gives good examples of what they are and lessons to help incorporate these ideas into your lifestyle.
July 3, 2012
I actually have my beginning Social Work students read this book before they start working with others. Take a moment to read and learn about who you are!
September 25, 2018
I saw author Matthew Kelly speak at our church earlier this year as part of Dynamic Catholic's Living Your Life With Passion and Purpose series. I came away from that event feeling re-energized about my relationship with God and the things I could do with the limited talents and time I have here on Earth.
Perfectly Yourself was this year's Best Lent Ever book and I didn't read it at the time so I thought I'd pick it up now and use it as a boost of adrenaline to get me back in that space I was in following the February program. On the whole, this book was not as dynamic and energizing and Matthew Kelly's live presentation. I did take away some very good nuggets of trying to attain a more perfect version of myself, but overall I found the book repetitious to the point of tedium in some places which made it a much slower read than its 210 pages would suggest.
I'm really glad I read the book because I believe some of the things I picked up are going to be life-long lessons - or at least life long language that I apply to lessons. For example:
When work is approached in the right way and with the right frame of mind, it helps us to become more perfectly ourselves. Who you are is infinitely more important that what you do or what you have.
Um yes, possessions mean nothing, work titles can mean nothing if WHO you are is not a person worth knowing, or not being value added.
I also liked this nugget from St. Augustine:
Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.
It's not enough to pray. You have to put in the work. I think this message is lost a lot today, about putting in the work in order to see results. People want the easy fix, the magic pill. There is no magic pill. Results in any arena require work.
And lastly, Kelly makes a distinction early in the book which I have thought a lot about over the last month - the difference between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is the feeling you get from a good piece of cake, or a entertaining movie, a moving song. But it's not happiness. Happiness is not a thing that can be sought an attained. Happiness is a by-product of living your life in a way as to try to be perfectly yourself. Happiness is sustaining and life changing and deep. Pleasure is momentary and shallow. So now when I find myself doing something or saying yes to something, I want to make sure that I know whether my motivation is for pleasure, which is perfectly fine, so long as I'm not looking for it to fulfill my need for happiness.
Perfectly Yourself was this year's Best Lent Ever book and I didn't read it at the time so I thought I'd pick it up now and use it as a boost of adrenaline to get me back in that space I was in following the February program. On the whole, this book was not as dynamic and energizing and Matthew Kelly's live presentation. I did take away some very good nuggets of trying to attain a more perfect version of myself, but overall I found the book repetitious to the point of tedium in some places which made it a much slower read than its 210 pages would suggest.
I'm really glad I read the book because I believe some of the things I picked up are going to be life-long lessons - or at least life long language that I apply to lessons. For example:
When work is approached in the right way and with the right frame of mind, it helps us to become more perfectly ourselves. Who you are is infinitely more important that what you do or what you have.
Um yes, possessions mean nothing, work titles can mean nothing if WHO you are is not a person worth knowing, or not being value added.
I also liked this nugget from St. Augustine:
Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.
It's not enough to pray. You have to put in the work. I think this message is lost a lot today, about putting in the work in order to see results. People want the easy fix, the magic pill. There is no magic pill. Results in any arena require work.
And lastly, Kelly makes a distinction early in the book which I have thought a lot about over the last month - the difference between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is the feeling you get from a good piece of cake, or a entertaining movie, a moving song. But it's not happiness. Happiness is not a thing that can be sought an attained. Happiness is a by-product of living your life in a way as to try to be perfectly yourself. Happiness is sustaining and life changing and deep. Pleasure is momentary and shallow. So now when I find myself doing something or saying yes to something, I want to make sure that I know whether my motivation is for pleasure, which is perfectly fine, so long as I'm not looking for it to fulfill my need for happiness.
April 12, 2018
This is a book I would recommend to anyone and everyone. Reading through it slowly but steadily throughout Lent was the best decision I could’ve made for my Lenten journey this year. But it doesn’t have to just be read during Lent...read it at any time! Start now! You won’t regret it.
It sparked so many things in me, big and small, that I don’t want to forget as I move on from the book. I found myself writing whole pages of reflection after reading just a small section and constantly quoting it and sharing it with other people.
Some people say that Matthew Kelly is a bit repetitive and that bugs them. Honestly though, I think we all need that repetitiveness for things to actually stick. I know I do! I think Matthew Kelly does a wonderful job at writing practically, realistically, and in a way that sticks with you.
This is a “kick you in the butt” kind of book. A “stop sitting around and go do something with your life” kind of book. A “take some baby steps and move forward” kind of book. It’s the kind of book that everyone needs to read at some point in their life...preferably sooner than later. Don’t waste more of your life sitting still or moving backwards anymore. Take baby steps and move forward. Maybe starting this book is a good baby step! ;)
PS - You can get the book for free at dynamiccatholic.com ;)
It sparked so many things in me, big and small, that I don’t want to forget as I move on from the book. I found myself writing whole pages of reflection after reading just a small section and constantly quoting it and sharing it with other people.
Some people say that Matthew Kelly is a bit repetitive and that bugs them. Honestly though, I think we all need that repetitiveness for things to actually stick. I know I do! I think Matthew Kelly does a wonderful job at writing practically, realistically, and in a way that sticks with you.
This is a “kick you in the butt” kind of book. A “stop sitting around and go do something with your life” kind of book. A “take some baby steps and move forward” kind of book. It’s the kind of book that everyone needs to read at some point in their life...preferably sooner than later. Don’t waste more of your life sitting still or moving backwards anymore. Take baby steps and move forward. Maybe starting this book is a good baby step! ;)
PS - You can get the book for free at dynamiccatholic.com ;)
October 29, 2018
It's taken me a while to read through this book, not so much for the content, but rather the thought-provoking suggestions it provides. It's an easy read and reread. You can't just read it and put it on the shelf. It requires that you take action on your part to celebrate and achieve the best version of yourself. The best advice..."Practice makes progress". I love that. We are so used to being told to be perfect. No one is perfect except God. We are imperfectly beautiful, we are wretched sinners, and self-absorbed. But, if we strive to better ourselves by taking small steps and keeping accountable, then, we can all be better humans. And frankly, is what we should be doing anyway.
December 19, 2020
This is the kind of book that you revisit throughout your life when you need a word of wisdom or peace. This is a book that I highlighted, underlined, and experienced thoroughly and will definitely look to when I cannot find the right words to express how I am feeling or where to go next. I highly recommend this book for anyone that needs to find stillness and comfort during this challenging time!
April 30, 2018
I have the "new & revised edition", I'm not sure what was revised except perhaps Matthew Kelly's intro into the book. I found this book to be so-so. I have read another MK book (Resisting Happiness...which was great!), so compared to that I found this one to be missing more of the spiritual aspect, which is what I was really looking for. (He says near the end of this book that "the universe is your friend"...that sounds very new age to me instead of Christian...and there are many other examples like that). I suppose if I hadn't been looking for a more Christian bent I might have rated it higher but was definitely disappointed when I compared it to Resisting Happiness.
October 19, 2020
Insightful and thought provoking
August 24, 2025
Overall, great.
August 18, 2018
You really get into reflection mode with this book. Some of it I didn’t relate to, but the majority I did. I enjoy the lesson recaps at the end of each chapter!
December 30, 2020
Good helpful and informative on self-improvement and finding your purpose. Wish I had read 20 years ago.
November 28, 2018
This was a guided meditation through Lent - reading a few pages each day. Excellent book to focus on becoming a better version of myself - I highly recommend reading this book, taking each chapter and slowly reading what Matthew Kelly writes.
February 22, 2014
consumers or consumed, branded, become best version of self, accept and improve, be kind and lighthearted, daily examination, truth lived is wisdom, serve others, choose to be happy by doing right thing, conscience is best version of self talking to you—always best path, do the next right thing, happiness as default character, problems help you become best person, character is what you give to yourself, respect virtue most which is cornerstone of character, lack of honesty leads to insanity, do not deceive or lie to self, ego/pride enemy of character, 86,400 hours, Aristotle 2350 years ago happiness in doing not to be entertained work invests in self, life is love find your love, Aesop lean into work, voice of authentic self stronger in child, true friend helps you become better version of self, live what believe, core beliefs as Constitution unchanging, happiness is discipline to choose the right thing, if rage sit still 30 min, fast from unnecessary, simplify simplify simplify, strategic anchors to succeed as SW low-cost on-time gives clarity on yes and no, live simply so others may simply live, mission and purpose-adopt a family, stories cause eyes to sparkle, focus on what here to give/serve, problems as opportunities to build character, the reality of what occurs-suffering, learn to love questions wonders mystery, start with gratitude, joy is a fruit of appreciation, seek the good, free to be best person, what common ground we share.
July 10, 2018
This is, more or less, a motivation speech weaved with Catholic ideals. There are some good principles in here—celebrating your progress. Simplify your life. Find what you love. And it's not just about you, either. What's your real purpose? Where is God leading you? There's an entire section on helping others, too, which I feel most self-improvement guides lack. It's not just about us. It's about helping the world.
It did start to lose me by the end. There were a lot of personal annotations, and not enough how to achieve. For some, it's not so easy to "live what you believe." Or even to simplify your life. It became less spiritual-centered and more motivational-speechy, which I tend to gloss over.
But there's some good stuff in here. Be the best you you can be. Don't settle. It's solid advice.
It did start to lose me by the end. There were a lot of personal annotations, and not enough how to achieve. For some, it's not so easy to "live what you believe." Or even to simplify your life. It became less spiritual-centered and more motivational-speechy, which I tend to gloss over.
But there's some good stuff in here. Be the best you you can be. Don't settle. It's solid advice.
July 10, 2011
This is the second book by Kelly that I've read and I've found them both very thought-provoking. I loaned the book to a friend so I can't record some of the highlighted quotes I have but it's one I'm glad I bought instead of borrowed so I can go back to those passages later.
August 14, 2018
I had read Matt's other book (Resisting Happiness) and really enjoyed it.
Perfectly Yourself was 'okay'; parts of the book went on and on... and in a way I felt made the book and authors words repetitive.
Perfectly Yourself was 'okay'; parts of the book went on and on... and in a way I felt made the book and authors words repetitive.
April 24, 2019
Sorry; couldn't finish. Tried for several months and this is my second-go-around with this guy. just not interesting enough; repeats himself a lot. Says obvious stuff (find what you love and do it - Ch 5). Steals ideas (Ch 2 - Do the Next Right Thing... I think there's a whole book titled that!).
June 19, 2012
One of my favorite books of all time! I use these principles in my life every day...they just make sense, sort of like the 10 commandments keep us aligned with God's will.
April 5, 2018
Not what I expected. Because it was a church gift, I thought there'd be more emphasis on the spiritual. But it was typical self help book written by someone who's experience is as a speaker.
June 18, 2018
once i got into it it was hard to put down! great lessons! made me really think about things diffrently.
November 6, 2017
A tale of two books. A few weeks ago I reviewed Ordering Your Private World Revised and Updated 2017 Edition by Gordon MacDonald my biggest complaint was the publisher was seeking reviews and yet the book had been through over 20 English language editions over the last 34 years. And overall I felt the book was very dated. There are numerous editions of this book, by Matthew Kelly but from the first words I was hooked and already have plans to reread it again in a few months. If my research is correct this book was originally published in 2006 as Perfectly Yourself: 9 Lessons for Enduring Happiness. And this new edition has a different subtitle of: Discovering God's Dream For You. To be honest I have had this book on my to be read pile for a few years. But when a new edition came out I grabbed it and literally could not put it down.
This section from the first chapter really hit me when I was reading the book. I stopped and reread it three times:
"From time to time my best friends will get this look on their faces, and I know exactly what I am about to hear: "Matthew, get honest with yourself!" I love that. They don't say it that often, so when they do it means something.
I think we all need moments of honesty from time to time. We need them as individuals, as couples, as families, and as nations. In the area of personal development, we are in desperate need of a moment of truth. We need to get honest with ourselves.
The truth is this: Diets don't fail. We fail at diets. Savings plans don't fail. We fail at savings plans. Exercise routines don't fail. We fail at exercise routines. Relationships don't fail. We fail at relationships.
This may seem harsh, but until we face this difficult truth, we will never seriously ask the really important questions that loom in the back of our minds: Why do I fail every time I go on a diet? Why can't I stick to my budget and savings plan? Why can't I be consistent about working out? Why am I constantly in and out of relationships? And so on."
A few other quotes from the book to give you some sampling of Kelly's wisdom:
"But over the years in my personal reflection, I have constantly asked myself: What do I respect? And at a deep level, I think there is only one thing I truly and deeply respect over and over again in time, and that is virtue. I respect virtue. Virtue inspires me. Virtue in other people challenges me. Virtue raises me up. Virtue allows me to catch a glimpse of what is possible. Virtue gives me hope for the future of humanity."
"Character is built one habit at a time. Good character is built one virtue at a time. Virtue is a good habit, a habit that leads us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. The cornerstone of character is virtue."
"Self-control is always accompanied by self-awareness. As we become more and more aware of ourselves and of the way we react to certain types of people and situations, our ability to control our response increases. The moment between event and response is where we choose how we are going to react. People with short fuses are almost completely oblivious to the moment because their temper-filled reactions have shortened with practice."
There are only nine chapters in this book. But each chapter has between 4 and 9 sections not counting the final section on applying the chapter. The chapters in this book are:
One: Are You Making Progress?
Two: Perfectly Imperfect
Three: Looking Into The Future
Four: 86,400 Hours
Five: What Do You Believe?
Six: Beyond Instant Gratification
Seven: Unburden Yourself
Eight: What Is Your Mission?
Nine: Why Worry?
And the application sections at the end of the chapters are:
Applying the First Lesson: Celebrate Your Progress
Applying the Second Lesson: Just Do The Next Right Thing
Applying the Third Lesson: Put Character First
Applying the Fourth Lesson: Find What You Love And Do It
Applying the Fifth Lesson: Live What You Believe
Applying the Sixth Lesson: Be Disciplined
Applying the Eighth Lesson: Focus On What You Are Here To Give
Applying the Ninth Lesson: Patiently Seek The Good In Everyone And Everything
This is one of those book that I kept planning on reading but it also kept getting bumped down my reading list. Because of that I have a few regrets. I really wish I had read this book a few years ago. Particularly around lesson 4. I stayed at a former job about a year or a year and a half too long. If I had read this book it might have helped me make the move sooner, which would have been better for me, my family and likely the organization.
Chapter 4 begins with these words:
"If you graduated from high school at the age of eighteen, went to college and graduated in four years, then went out into the real world and got a real job working forty hours a week and worked forty-eight weeks a year, took four weeks' annual vacation (two weeks more than most people), and retired at the age of sixty-five, you will have worked 86,400 hours by the time you retire."
Read that quote again and let it sink in. And then the book finishes with this advice:
"So, let me leave you with this single thought. God has an incredible dream for you, he wants you to become all he created you to be, the-very-best-version-of-yourself. Take God's dream seriously and you will quickly realize another truth:
Anyone or anything that doesn't help you become the-best-version-of-yourself is too small for you."
Of the twelve books by Matthew Kelly that I have read 11 have received a 5/5 Stars rating. And this one is an amazing read. This is one of those books that after reading it I want to put it in the hands of everyone I now.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Matthew Kelly.
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2017 Catholic Reading Plan!
This section from the first chapter really hit me when I was reading the book. I stopped and reread it three times:
"From time to time my best friends will get this look on their faces, and I know exactly what I am about to hear: "Matthew, get honest with yourself!" I love that. They don't say it that often, so when they do it means something.
I think we all need moments of honesty from time to time. We need them as individuals, as couples, as families, and as nations. In the area of personal development, we are in desperate need of a moment of truth. We need to get honest with ourselves.
The truth is this: Diets don't fail. We fail at diets. Savings plans don't fail. We fail at savings plans. Exercise routines don't fail. We fail at exercise routines. Relationships don't fail. We fail at relationships.
This may seem harsh, but until we face this difficult truth, we will never seriously ask the really important questions that loom in the back of our minds: Why do I fail every time I go on a diet? Why can't I stick to my budget and savings plan? Why can't I be consistent about working out? Why am I constantly in and out of relationships? And so on."
A few other quotes from the book to give you some sampling of Kelly's wisdom:
"But over the years in my personal reflection, I have constantly asked myself: What do I respect? And at a deep level, I think there is only one thing I truly and deeply respect over and over again in time, and that is virtue. I respect virtue. Virtue inspires me. Virtue in other people challenges me. Virtue raises me up. Virtue allows me to catch a glimpse of what is possible. Virtue gives me hope for the future of humanity."
"Character is built one habit at a time. Good character is built one virtue at a time. Virtue is a good habit, a habit that leads us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. The cornerstone of character is virtue."
"Self-control is always accompanied by self-awareness. As we become more and more aware of ourselves and of the way we react to certain types of people and situations, our ability to control our response increases. The moment between event and response is where we choose how we are going to react. People with short fuses are almost completely oblivious to the moment because their temper-filled reactions have shortened with practice."
There are only nine chapters in this book. But each chapter has between 4 and 9 sections not counting the final section on applying the chapter. The chapters in this book are:
One: Are You Making Progress?
Two: Perfectly Imperfect
Three: Looking Into The Future
Four: 86,400 Hours
Five: What Do You Believe?
Six: Beyond Instant Gratification
Seven: Unburden Yourself
Eight: What Is Your Mission?
Nine: Why Worry?
And the application sections at the end of the chapters are:
Applying the First Lesson: Celebrate Your Progress
Applying the Second Lesson: Just Do The Next Right Thing
Applying the Third Lesson: Put Character First
Applying the Fourth Lesson: Find What You Love And Do It
Applying the Fifth Lesson: Live What You Believe
Applying the Sixth Lesson: Be Disciplined
Applying the Eighth Lesson: Focus On What You Are Here To Give
Applying the Ninth Lesson: Patiently Seek The Good In Everyone And Everything
This is one of those book that I kept planning on reading but it also kept getting bumped down my reading list. Because of that I have a few regrets. I really wish I had read this book a few years ago. Particularly around lesson 4. I stayed at a former job about a year or a year and a half too long. If I had read this book it might have helped me make the move sooner, which would have been better for me, my family and likely the organization.
Chapter 4 begins with these words:
"If you graduated from high school at the age of eighteen, went to college and graduated in four years, then went out into the real world and got a real job working forty hours a week and worked forty-eight weeks a year, took four weeks' annual vacation (two weeks more than most people), and retired at the age of sixty-five, you will have worked 86,400 hours by the time you retire."
Read that quote again and let it sink in. And then the book finishes with this advice:
"So, let me leave you with this single thought. God has an incredible dream for you, he wants you to become all he created you to be, the-very-best-version-of-yourself. Take God's dream seriously and you will quickly realize another truth:
Anyone or anything that doesn't help you become the-best-version-of-yourself is too small for you."
Of the twelve books by Matthew Kelly that I have read 11 have received a 5/5 Stars rating. And this one is an amazing read. This is one of those books that after reading it I want to put it in the hands of everyone I now.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Matthew Kelly.
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2017 Catholic Reading Plan!
July 12, 2020
World Challenge: Australia
This is the first Kelly book that was useful to me personally. I picked it up because I knew it would be an easy read for the World Challenge and I had a bunch of free Matthew Kelly books in the house. I was surprised to find such depth in this book. Usually Matthew Kelly books are... meh. Good appetizers for people with one foot in the door of the Catholic Church (or one foot out the door) but nothing you can really dig into as a serious christian.
I was pleasantly surprised that this book was written as a self-help book (albeit from a generic believers perspective) rather than as a "religious" book. Kelly is much more effective in the self-help arena. He has a polished style and constantly reuses key phrases.
In the quest to be generically religious, Kelly uses examples from his Catholic faith, but also normalizes a LOT of Buddhist/eastern religion/new age concepts as well as making a couple references to the Jewish and Muslim faiths. He talks repeatedly about "accepting yourself" and "being true to yourself" with only minimal guidance/limitations. The effect is that his words could easily be misused to justify violating Catholic teaching in our current cultural & political climate. It felt very Fortune-500 PC. He makes a politically correct reference to climate change in the book. He also endorses a secular gratitude meditation and celebrating the "goodness" inside yourself. He states that "God and the Universe" are your friends and will work out the details of anything you worry about.
The problematic PC stuff aside, Kelly does a decent job at recognizing the pitfalls on both sides of most issues that he discusses. Go to far to one side and you are in danger of ABC, but go too far the other way and you are in danger of XYZ. I appreciated that. Too often people lopsidedly endorse a particular virtue or position to the extend that it becomes distorted and leads to error.
Kelly does hit on a lot of Truth in the book. Often he will start chapters with a generic feel-good position, ugh. But then in the next section, he'll dig deeper on one side. Then, he'll dig deeper on the other side. Eventually, he carves out a Truth. I loved how he stated toward the start of the book that it is a lie to tell children they can be anything they want to be. There are physical limitations and realities that have to be considered. No one says that nowadays, but it is true! He also makes a strong case for personal discipline. The book felt counter-cultural in a good way due to the tough love shared.
I would re-read this book every few years. It was encouraging and motivational in a polished way, with surprising occasional depth and Truth.
Personal things mentioned about Kelly in this book: His father grew up in poverty in London. He had many siblings in Australia. And there was a brief reference to a failed engagement. Apparently this book was written back in 2006 when he was still single. I am curious about Kelly's personal life, which he references only briefly. Does he come from a wealthy/business-oriented family? Often, he comes off as a bit fake to me. Is he just faking it until he makes it? Or does he have legitimate connections and experiences? What are they?
Note to author: Maybe your 101st book could be a self-biography? I'd read it.
This is the first Kelly book that was useful to me personally. I picked it up because I knew it would be an easy read for the World Challenge and I had a bunch of free Matthew Kelly books in the house. I was surprised to find such depth in this book. Usually Matthew Kelly books are... meh. Good appetizers for people with one foot in the door of the Catholic Church (or one foot out the door) but nothing you can really dig into as a serious christian.
I was pleasantly surprised that this book was written as a self-help book (albeit from a generic believers perspective) rather than as a "religious" book. Kelly is much more effective in the self-help arena. He has a polished style and constantly reuses key phrases.
In the quest to be generically religious, Kelly uses examples from his Catholic faith, but also normalizes a LOT of Buddhist/eastern religion/new age concepts as well as making a couple references to the Jewish and Muslim faiths. He talks repeatedly about "accepting yourself" and "being true to yourself" with only minimal guidance/limitations. The effect is that his words could easily be misused to justify violating Catholic teaching in our current cultural & political climate. It felt very Fortune-500 PC. He makes a politically correct reference to climate change in the book. He also endorses a secular gratitude meditation and celebrating the "goodness" inside yourself. He states that "God and the Universe" are your friends and will work out the details of anything you worry about.
The problematic PC stuff aside, Kelly does a decent job at recognizing the pitfalls on both sides of most issues that he discusses. Go to far to one side and you are in danger of ABC, but go too far the other way and you are in danger of XYZ. I appreciated that. Too often people lopsidedly endorse a particular virtue or position to the extend that it becomes distorted and leads to error.
Kelly does hit on a lot of Truth in the book. Often he will start chapters with a generic feel-good position, ugh. But then in the next section, he'll dig deeper on one side. Then, he'll dig deeper on the other side. Eventually, he carves out a Truth. I loved how he stated toward the start of the book that it is a lie to tell children they can be anything they want to be. There are physical limitations and realities that have to be considered. No one says that nowadays, but it is true! He also makes a strong case for personal discipline. The book felt counter-cultural in a good way due to the tough love shared.
I would re-read this book every few years. It was encouraging and motivational in a polished way, with surprising occasional depth and Truth.
Personal things mentioned about Kelly in this book: His father grew up in poverty in London. He had many siblings in Australia. And there was a brief reference to a failed engagement. Apparently this book was written back in 2006 when he was still single. I am curious about Kelly's personal life, which he references only briefly. Does he come from a wealthy/business-oriented family? Often, he comes off as a bit fake to me. Is he just faking it until he makes it? Or does he have legitimate connections and experiences? What are they?
Note to author: Maybe your 101st book could be a self-biography? I'd read it.
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