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Someone I Used to Know
It's been two years since the night that changed Ashley's life. Two years since she was raped by her brother's teammate. And a year since she sat in a court and watched as he was given a slap on the wrist sentence. But the years have done nothing to stop the pain.
It's been two years of hell for Derek. His family is totally messed up and he and his sister are barely speaking. He knows he handled it all wrong. Now at college, he has to come to terms with what happened, and the rape culture that he was inadvertently a part of that destroyed his sister's life.
When it all comes to a head at Thanksgiving, Derek and Ashley have to decide if their relationship is able to be saved. And if their family can ever be whole again.
It's been two years of hell for Derek. His family is totally messed up and he and his sister are barely speaking. He knows he handled it all wrong. Now at college, he has to come to terms with what happened, and the rape culture that he was inadvertently a part of that destroyed his sister's life.
When it all comes to a head at Thanksgiving, Derek and Ashley have to decide if their relationship is able to be saved. And if their family can ever be whole again.
384 pages, Paperback
First published August 7, 2018
120 people are currently reading
3286 people want to read
About the author
Patty Blount
18 books780 followersPatty Blount grew up quiet and a bit invisible in Queens, NY, but found her voice in books. Today, she writes smart and strong characters willing to fight for what’s right. She’s the award-winning author of edgy, realistic, gut-wrenching contemporary and young adult romance. Still a bit introverted, she gets lost often, eats way too much chocolate, and tends to develop mad, passionate crushes on fictional characters. Let’s be real; Patty’s not nearly as cool as her characters, but she is a solid supporter of women’s rights and loves delivering school presentations.
Patty is best known for her internet issues novels, SEND, a 2012 Junior Library Guild Fall Pick and TMI, a 2014 Watty winner, and her #MeToo novels, including SOME BOYS, a 2015 CLMP Firecracker winner and SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW, a 2019 double Athena Award winner. Visit her website at pattyblount.com, where you can sign up for her newsletter. She blogs at YA Outside the Lines and is also active online. She loves hearing from readers, especially when they tell her she’s cool (even though she knows it’s not true), and is easily bribed with chocolate. Never underestimate the power of chocolate.
Patty is best known for her internet issues novels, SEND, a 2012 Junior Library Guild Fall Pick and TMI, a 2014 Watty winner, and her #MeToo novels, including SOME BOYS, a 2015 CLMP Firecracker winner and SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW, a 2019 double Athena Award winner. Visit her website at pattyblount.com, where you can sign up for her newsletter. She blogs at YA Outside the Lines and is also active online. She loves hearing from readers, especially when they tell her she’s cool (even though she knows it’s not true), and is easily bribed with chocolate. Never underestimate the power of chocolate.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 281 reviews
January 13, 2019
Someone I Used to Know offers an honest & difficult look at the traumatic effects on life & family after sexual assault
It's really difficult to review a book like this. Rape is NOT an easy topic to think about, discuss or read about. It's also not an easy topic to write about Patty Blount has my respect and due credit for this book. Sexual violence permeates our culture at alarming rates so it is a topic we need to be aware of. Did you know that every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted? Meanwhile only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators ends up in prison. It's fact - I looked it up.
Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount gives voice to the idea that today's culture reinforces the normalization of sexual violence. I didn't agree with everything presented in the book but I definitely appreciate that she wasn't afraid to tell this story and encourage readers to think about rape and the idea of rape culture.
In, Someone I Used to Know , Ashley is a high school freshman who is raped by a senior football player. He is a boy she had a crush on. A boy she kissed and spent time with. A boy she trusted. It was all part of a football team scavenger hunt. The boys literally preyed on girls for points. It was viewed as a "boys will be boys" game.
The story is told through various points-of-view and goes back and forth between the present and the past. It was easy to follow and it offers us different insight at various stages of the book.
A few things I really liked:
1. Ashley grew from a terrified victim, barely surviving to a warrior. I applauded her growth even when I didn't agree with everything she did. So many instances of sexual violence go unreported because the victims are made to feel as if they were to blame. I applauded Blout's firm stance on this - the victims are NOT to blame no matter what they wore, where they were, or even if they said yes previously. This is a message everyone needs to hear!
"Justice is achieved when those who aren't injured feel as indignant as those who are."
2. I appreciated Ashley's brother Derek's story. He was a great example of what so many people think when confronted with the reality of sexual violence. Their strife was very real and emotional. We saw him go from being so angry he blamed her ("Why didn't you just stay home?") to being a voice for the cause himself. While that may not have been a totally realistic change, I felt that the emotions he went through - blaming himself, feeling like he should have done something, battling his own feelings of inadequacy over not being her hero - those were very real.
3. The depiction of the family turmoil was brutally honest. When Ashley was raped - it affected her whole family. How could it not? Her struggles became their struggles. There was so much anger in each of them. My heart ached for all of them.
"Forgiveness is rarely this once-and-done thing. It's an ongoing battle, a struggle to remember that love is worth more than pain, and that fighting for it matters more than a grudge."
4. Even though the story itself ended on a positive note I appreciated that it didn't sugar coat things and pretend everything was going to be happily ever after. Blount acknowledges that it is a never ending process but one that does get easier with support.
"Every last bit of the pain and shame and guilt and grief I've carried since my freshman year drips from soul, collecting in a reservoir. They're not gone for good though, and I know they'll leak out sometimes. But my dam is stronger now. Higher walls. Reinforced not with concrete and steel, but with unbreakable family ties."
5. Support - Therapists, support groups, family, friends! I applaud that those were all a big part of the the story and not just for Ashley but for her family as well. I think that's an important message. It's so easy for survivors to feel alone. Support is essential.
I'll be honest, some might find the book a bit preachy but this is a topic that needs to be discussed. As a YA book geared for teens I think it does a wonderful job of sending out the right message about life after sexual violence. It's a difficult process, an ongoing battle and one that can be wrought with ups and downs. Sexual violence is a traumatic experience and many people end up with trauma and PTSD symptoms. They have to learn to rebuild their sense of control to be able to move on from their traumatic experience over time.
Thank you to Patty Blount, SOURCEBOOKS Fire and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy of Someone I Used to Know in exchange for my sharing my honest review.
It's really difficult to review a book like this. Rape is NOT an easy topic to think about, discuss or read about. It's also not an easy topic to write about Patty Blount has my respect and due credit for this book. Sexual violence permeates our culture at alarming rates so it is a topic we need to be aware of. Did you know that every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted? Meanwhile only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators ends up in prison. It's fact - I looked it up.
Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount gives voice to the idea that today's culture reinforces the normalization of sexual violence. I didn't agree with everything presented in the book but I definitely appreciate that she wasn't afraid to tell this story and encourage readers to think about rape and the idea of rape culture.
In, Someone I Used to Know , Ashley is a high school freshman who is raped by a senior football player. He is a boy she had a crush on. A boy she kissed and spent time with. A boy she trusted. It was all part of a football team scavenger hunt. The boys literally preyed on girls for points. It was viewed as a "boys will be boys" game.
The story is told through various points-of-view and goes back and forth between the present and the past. It was easy to follow and it offers us different insight at various stages of the book.
A few things I really liked:
1. Ashley grew from a terrified victim, barely surviving to a warrior. I applauded her growth even when I didn't agree with everything she did. So many instances of sexual violence go unreported because the victims are made to feel as if they were to blame. I applauded Blout's firm stance on this - the victims are NOT to blame no matter what they wore, where they were, or even if they said yes previously. This is a message everyone needs to hear!
"Justice is achieved when those who aren't injured feel as indignant as those who are."
2. I appreciated Ashley's brother Derek's story. He was a great example of what so many people think when confronted with the reality of sexual violence. Their strife was very real and emotional. We saw him go from being so angry he blamed her ("Why didn't you just stay home?") to being a voice for the cause himself. While that may not have been a totally realistic change, I felt that the emotions he went through - blaming himself, feeling like he should have done something, battling his own feelings of inadequacy over not being her hero - those were very real.
3. The depiction of the family turmoil was brutally honest. When Ashley was raped - it affected her whole family. How could it not? Her struggles became their struggles. There was so much anger in each of them. My heart ached for all of them.
"Forgiveness is rarely this once-and-done thing. It's an ongoing battle, a struggle to remember that love is worth more than pain, and that fighting for it matters more than a grudge."
4. Even though the story itself ended on a positive note I appreciated that it didn't sugar coat things and pretend everything was going to be happily ever after. Blount acknowledges that it is a never ending process but one that does get easier with support.
"Every last bit of the pain and shame and guilt and grief I've carried since my freshman year drips from soul, collecting in a reservoir. They're not gone for good though, and I know they'll leak out sometimes. But my dam is stronger now. Higher walls. Reinforced not with concrete and steel, but with unbreakable family ties."
5. Support - Therapists, support groups, family, friends! I applaud that those were all a big part of the the story and not just for Ashley but for her family as well. I think that's an important message. It's so easy for survivors to feel alone. Support is essential.
I'll be honest, some might find the book a bit preachy but this is a topic that needs to be discussed. As a YA book geared for teens I think it does a wonderful job of sending out the right message about life after sexual violence. It's a difficult process, an ongoing battle and one that can be wrought with ups and downs. Sexual violence is a traumatic experience and many people end up with trauma and PTSD symptoms. They have to learn to rebuild their sense of control to be able to move on from their traumatic experience over time.
Thank you to Patty Blount, SOURCEBOOKS Fire and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy of Someone I Used to Know in exchange for my sharing my honest review.
September 3, 2018
what an amazing fucking book, i'm so shook right now.
this book made me so angry (in a very good way) to the point where i was actually fucking shaking and trying to control myself like akcnjdjcn what a fucking moving and impactful book
Ashley's story is brutal, real and honest. patty blount doesn't sugar coat shit and that is so fucking important.
Its currently 2 am and i really need sleep so I'll make a quick list about why this book is fucking awesome.
-rape is never the victims fault. Stop blaming and questioning the victim. it doesn't matter what they were wearing, whether they were drinking, it is not their fault. this is continuously mentioned in the book!!!
-men are also victims of rape.
-therapy, communication and getting help for whatever you're going through is a big focus in this book and i freaking loved how normal and casual it was in this story. talking to someone about what you're going through really helps. talking to a counselor, therapist, an adult or a friend is so frequent and positive in this book. Im crying.
-family issues and how miscommunication and lack of communication really can hurt relationships
-talk about how people should always stand up for the right thing and help someone in danger.
-how women are human beings and should be treated as such. not a piece of meat for you to disgustingly talk about or joke about.
-how normal it's become in our society for men to continuously harass women, touch them without their permission and force themselves on women. there is so much in depth conversations that take place in this book about how men/boys get mad for a girl saying no to them. a girl shouldn't live in a society where she constantly feels unsafe. A girl should be able to dress however she wants without having to worry about men coming at her. men need to control their desires. Control themselves
-the anxiety rep is amazing.
-the love interest is an actual cinnamon roll
-Ashley goes through so much shit and comes out so much stronger at the end. She's such a strong but flawed character i love her.
there's so much more that happens in this book. I literally can't stress how important this is. please read it.
trigger warnings for rape, anxiety attacks, a lot of sexism, and sexual harassment
this book made me so angry (in a very good way) to the point where i was actually fucking shaking and trying to control myself like akcnjdjcn what a fucking moving and impactful book
Ashley's story is brutal, real and honest. patty blount doesn't sugar coat shit and that is so fucking important.
Its currently 2 am and i really need sleep so I'll make a quick list about why this book is fucking awesome.
-rape is never the victims fault. Stop blaming and questioning the victim. it doesn't matter what they were wearing, whether they were drinking, it is not their fault. this is continuously mentioned in the book!!!
-men are also victims of rape.
-therapy, communication and getting help for whatever you're going through is a big focus in this book and i freaking loved how normal and casual it was in this story. talking to someone about what you're going through really helps. talking to a counselor, therapist, an adult or a friend is so frequent and positive in this book. Im crying.
-family issues and how miscommunication and lack of communication really can hurt relationships
-talk about how people should always stand up for the right thing and help someone in danger.
-how women are human beings and should be treated as such. not a piece of meat for you to disgustingly talk about or joke about.
-how normal it's become in our society for men to continuously harass women, touch them without their permission and force themselves on women. there is so much in depth conversations that take place in this book about how men/boys get mad for a girl saying no to them. a girl shouldn't live in a society where she constantly feels unsafe. A girl should be able to dress however she wants without having to worry about men coming at her. men need to control their desires. Control themselves
-the anxiety rep is amazing.
-the love interest is an actual cinnamon roll
-Ashley goes through so much shit and comes out so much stronger at the end. She's such a strong but flawed character i love her.
there's so much more that happens in this book. I literally can't stress how important this is. please read it.
trigger warnings for rape, anxiety attacks, a lot of sexism, and sexual harassment
February 16, 2019
book #5 done for the contemporary-a-thon under the challenge of: a dark/emotional/hard-hitting contemporary ✔
just like patty blount's previous book, Some Boys, this book is phenomenal
reading books on the topic of rape culture is always so painful but my goodness, is it so bloody important.
- patty blount's writing is raw and gripping. you feel the characters pain, you feel their inner dialogue, you feel their self loathing. for the most part, she intertwines her main message with the overall plot and conflict of the story and i found it came off authentic
- i LOVED how she focused the book on the family of the victim. two years after ashley's rape, and her family is still suffering on a daily basis. this book explores the trauma and guilt and anger the ENTIRE family faces and how helpless and weak they feel despite doing all they can
- having almost half of the entire book dedicated to her brother, derek's perspective was brilliant. not only did the author allow the reader to see into the struggle and guilt he felt but it also SHOWS how he expressed his remorse, how he grew and took accountability for his mistakes, and how he became a better person bc of it
- the absolute most heartbreaking part of this book was when ashley said how she 'did everything she was supposed to do' and yet still her attacker was let out early i just HKJFDAFHAKHK
- the anxiety representation was amazing and the dialogue it brought it up was done so well
- this book shows the life "after" and really highlights on how we can do so much MORE to educate and prevent rape culture
- the only reason this book isnt a full 5 star read is bc sometimes it became very preachy and i thought it tried to tackle too many topics at once (not a full flaw bc i thought most of the topics were handled really well) but some felt slightly underdeveloped due to the limited time/pages
- side note, but when ian and grace from Some Boys appeared i SCREAMED and had to clutch the book to my heart bc i love and miss those kids so much 😭😭😭 thx for that easter egg
overall, this book was excellent and i wish everyone would read it
4.5 stars
just like patty blount's previous book, Some Boys, this book is phenomenal
reading books on the topic of rape culture is always so painful but my goodness, is it so bloody important.
- patty blount's writing is raw and gripping. you feel the characters pain, you feel their inner dialogue, you feel their self loathing. for the most part, she intertwines her main message with the overall plot and conflict of the story and i found it came off authentic
- i LOVED how she focused the book on the family of the victim. two years after ashley's rape, and her family is still suffering on a daily basis. this book explores the trauma and guilt and anger the ENTIRE family faces and how helpless and weak they feel despite doing all they can
- having almost half of the entire book dedicated to her brother, derek's perspective was brilliant. not only did the author allow the reader to see into the struggle and guilt he felt but it also SHOWS how he expressed his remorse, how he grew and took accountability for his mistakes, and how he became a better person bc of it
- the absolute most heartbreaking part of this book was when ashley said how she 'did everything she was supposed to do' and yet still her attacker was let out early i just HKJFDAFHAKHK
- the anxiety representation was amazing and the dialogue it brought it up was done so well
- this book shows the life "after" and really highlights on how we can do so much MORE to educate and prevent rape culture
- the only reason this book isnt a full 5 star read is bc sometimes it became very preachy and i thought it tried to tackle too many topics at once (not a full flaw bc i thought most of the topics were handled really well) but some felt slightly underdeveloped due to the limited time/pages
- side note, but when ian and grace from Some Boys appeared i SCREAMED and had to clutch the book to my heart bc i love and miss those kids so much 😭😭😭 thx for that easter egg
overall, this book was excellent and i wish everyone would read it
4.5 stars
June 17, 2018
An innocent young girl is raped as part of a demented game, her life twisted into a mangled parody of normal and society is guilty of continuing the emotional and psychological deed in ignorant or self-righteous bliss. One family devolves into a quagmire of devastation, rage and unconsciously mimics society’s callous opinion that boys will be boys, while passing judgment on a fourteen year old girl’s “guilt.” It will take two long and painful years for the complete implosion and now the question is, can they find a way back to finally support each other, and help Ashley heal?
If you read nothing else, every man, woman and young adult MUST read SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW by Patty Blount. Although fictional, it is a scathing and raw indictment of a world where sex sells, “dirty jokes” are told and beauty is a perceived license for demeaning and condescending behavior.
Told through the voices of Ashley, the rape survivor and her self-centered brother, Derek, this tale is meant to make people uncomfortable, to make us feel guilty, to open our eyes. For parents who say, this is too raw for my teen, think again, this is EXACTLY what EVERY teen needs to read, male or female. A court verdict does not end the pain of the survivor, long after we are on to the next news bite, the cancer continues to grow, for everyone touched.
Devastating, dark and brutally raw, this gut-wrenching read is filled with triggers, truths and rightfully puts the blame solidly on “the good people of our culture.” And aren’t we ALL good people?? Buy a copy for a friend, a family member and make sure every library you know orders several. Perhaps this should be required reading in school, certainly more relevant and timely than those "classics."
I received a complimentary ARC edition from Sourcebooks Fire!
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire (August 7, 2018)
Publication Date: August 7, 2018
Genre: YA | Sexual Abuse | Family
Print Length: 384 pages
Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
For Reviews, Giveaways, Fabulous Book News, follow: http://tometender.blogspot.com
If you read nothing else, every man, woman and young adult MUST read SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW by Patty Blount. Although fictional, it is a scathing and raw indictment of a world where sex sells, “dirty jokes” are told and beauty is a perceived license for demeaning and condescending behavior.
Told through the voices of Ashley, the rape survivor and her self-centered brother, Derek, this tale is meant to make people uncomfortable, to make us feel guilty, to open our eyes. For parents who say, this is too raw for my teen, think again, this is EXACTLY what EVERY teen needs to read, male or female. A court verdict does not end the pain of the survivor, long after we are on to the next news bite, the cancer continues to grow, for everyone touched.
Devastating, dark and brutally raw, this gut-wrenching read is filled with triggers, truths and rightfully puts the blame solidly on “the good people of our culture.” And aren’t we ALL good people?? Buy a copy for a friend, a family member and make sure every library you know orders several. Perhaps this should be required reading in school, certainly more relevant and timely than those "classics."
I received a complimentary ARC edition from Sourcebooks Fire!
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire (August 7, 2018)
Publication Date: August 7, 2018
Genre: YA | Sexual Abuse | Family
Print Length: 384 pages
Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
For Reviews, Giveaways, Fabulous Book News, follow: http://tometender.blogspot.com
October 25, 2018
Sometimes when I read a really great book in a certain genre or about a particular subject matter, I just want to keep reading more books like it.
That's how I felt right after finishing The Female of the Species. It was a look at contemporary rape culture in a pretty jacked up way, and it sorta led me to this book.
This one was. . . okay. We get a really good look at the aftermath through the eyes of the MC Ashley, and her character was fantastic.
I liked the idea of throwing in the fallout of the sibling relationship between Ashley and her brother Derek, who was teammates with Ashley's rapist, but the execution of it was awful. There was zero subtlety to Derek's "journey" and his POV chapters bordered on straight-up preaching.
Anyway. I'm disappointed that this wasn't better, but it wasn't horrible. 2.5 stars and rounding up cuz I thought the writing was pretty good, and actually quite powerful in certain parts.
***
I'm there when the judge decides two years in prison is plenty for the boy with such a promising athletic future.
***
After the trial, we go home, take off our fancy clothes, and just sort of stare at each other. It's been a year, and now, it's over. We've done all we can. And now we move on.
Yeah, right.
***
When I'm able to stand again, I return to my computer and set up a blog. The first thing I post is Victor Patton's mug shot. The second thing I post is my victim impact statement. And the third thing I post is a question.
Why is my promising future worth less than Victor's?
I get lots of answers. And then I disable commenting.
That's how I felt right after finishing The Female of the Species. It was a look at contemporary rape culture in a pretty jacked up way, and it sorta led me to this book.
This one was. . . okay. We get a really good look at the aftermath through the eyes of the MC Ashley, and her character was fantastic.
I liked the idea of throwing in the fallout of the sibling relationship between Ashley and her brother Derek, who was teammates with Ashley's rapist, but the execution of it was awful. There was zero subtlety to Derek's "journey" and his POV chapters bordered on straight-up preaching.
Anyway. I'm disappointed that this wasn't better, but it wasn't horrible. 2.5 stars and rounding up cuz I thought the writing was pretty good, and actually quite powerful in certain parts.
***
I'm there when the judge decides two years in prison is plenty for the boy with such a promising athletic future.
***
After the trial, we go home, take off our fancy clothes, and just sort of stare at each other. It's been a year, and now, it's over. We've done all we can. And now we move on.
Yeah, right.
***
When I'm able to stand again, I return to my computer and set up a blog. The first thing I post is Victor Patton's mug shot. The second thing I post is my victim impact statement. And the third thing I post is a question.
Why is my promising future worth less than Victor's?
I get lots of answers. And then I disable commenting.
August 6, 2018
Two years ago, Ashley Lawrence, a freshman in high school, was raped by a senior football player during Homecoming week. Since then, it has driven a wedge between her and her brother, Derek. They were once very close, but now Ashley hates him and can’t even stand to look at him. Derek is carrying around his own guilt about the night of the rape and feels partly responsible for what happened to Ashley. With both Ashley and Derek at odds, the rest of their family is feeling the strain. Can Ashley and Derek ever learn to forgive each other so that their family can start the healing process?
Someone I Used To Know really packs an emotion punch in regards to rape culture and the term “boys will be boys.” It is a shame that till this day society often places blame on the victim. Why were you wearing that outfit? Why were you with him alone? Why were you walking at night by yourself? She was asking for it. She is lying. We have all heard these statements before. When a woman is raped why is she the one always targeted as if she did something wrong? If you want blame someone, blame the rapist. They are the ones at fault. Women are harassed every single day by men. Sometimes men don't even realize what they are doing is wrong. Cat calling a woman as she is walking down the street, touching someone inappropriately as a joke, listening to your friends talking about what they want to do to a woman even if they are joking is still wrong. Most people call it “locker room” talk or boys will be boys which really goes to show how society views rape culture.
Ashley tackles a lot of these issues when she returns back to high school. She is determine to tell her story and make more people aware of rape culture and what we can do to stop it. Ashley really shines here in her determination. Yes, she is still triggered and has anxiety attacks, but she wants to make a difference. Ashley is such a realistic character and I love how Patty Blount shows her day to day struggles and never sugarcoats anything. Ashley as a character is raw and uncensored and I can really see how she grew as a person through the story.
Derek was also an interesting character for me and sometimes, in the very beginning, I hated how he treated Ashley, but at the same time, I can also see how much he craved his independence and wanted to do things with friends that didn’t include his sister. I also had to remind myself that he was still very much just a teenager and acted like a teenager. But, I can see how traumatized he was after his sister’s rape. That moment where he finally gets it and understands that what happened to Ashley wasn’t her fault. You can feel the guilt he feels for his treatment of her. He really has the most growth in this story and I was proud of him for finally owning up to what he did and the ways he went about fixing it.
Someone I used To Know is raw and uncensored. It is a story that every high school student, both boys and girls, needs to read and understand how rape culture affects our society. This story tackles real life issues and is told in a brutally honest way. Patty Blount has such a knack of pulling out every emotion in you such as tears, sadness, anger, and finally relief for characters in a story I have come to treasure. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. This is a five star read and one that will remain on my keeper shelf.
Someone I Used To Know really packs an emotion punch in regards to rape culture and the term “boys will be boys.” It is a shame that till this day society often places blame on the victim. Why were you wearing that outfit? Why were you with him alone? Why were you walking at night by yourself? She was asking for it. She is lying. We have all heard these statements before. When a woman is raped why is she the one always targeted as if she did something wrong? If you want blame someone, blame the rapist. They are the ones at fault. Women are harassed every single day by men. Sometimes men don't even realize what they are doing is wrong. Cat calling a woman as she is walking down the street, touching someone inappropriately as a joke, listening to your friends talking about what they want to do to a woman even if they are joking is still wrong. Most people call it “locker room” talk or boys will be boys which really goes to show how society views rape culture.
Ashley tackles a lot of these issues when she returns back to high school. She is determine to tell her story and make more people aware of rape culture and what we can do to stop it. Ashley really shines here in her determination. Yes, she is still triggered and has anxiety attacks, but she wants to make a difference. Ashley is such a realistic character and I love how Patty Blount shows her day to day struggles and never sugarcoats anything. Ashley as a character is raw and uncensored and I can really see how she grew as a person through the story.
Derek was also an interesting character for me and sometimes, in the very beginning, I hated how he treated Ashley, but at the same time, I can also see how much he craved his independence and wanted to do things with friends that didn’t include his sister. I also had to remind myself that he was still very much just a teenager and acted like a teenager. But, I can see how traumatized he was after his sister’s rape. That moment where he finally gets it and understands that what happened to Ashley wasn’t her fault. You can feel the guilt he feels for his treatment of her. He really has the most growth in this story and I was proud of him for finally owning up to what he did and the ways he went about fixing it.
Someone I used To Know is raw and uncensored. It is a story that every high school student, both boys and girls, needs to read and understand how rape culture affects our society. This story tackles real life issues and is told in a brutally honest way. Patty Blount has such a knack of pulling out every emotion in you such as tears, sadness, anger, and finally relief for characters in a story I have come to treasure. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. This is a five star read and one that will remain on my keeper shelf.
July 13, 2018
***Thanks to NetGalley for providing me a complimentary copy of SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW by Patty Blount in exchange for my honest review.***
I wish I didn’t have to write this review. I’m a Patty Blount fan and preordered SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW as I do all her YA novels. When I received notification that I was approved for an ARC, I was so excited.
Blount’s writing is as appealing as ever. I love how she strings words together with beauty and ease. Initially, I was drawn into Ashley’s fears and pain. Her PTSD felt authentic.
After a few pages, the story morphed from genuine to self-righteous. I felt as if I was reading Blout’s opinions instead of a teenage rape survivor about toxic masculinity, high school football and how these issues ought to be handled. Ashley’s victim impact statements sounded like an adult writing for a teenager.
Derek was obviously the character on a journey from complicit to champion. The dialogue around his education seemed more like the writer attempting to educate readers poorly disguised as plots.
Sebastian was The Perfect Boy example of how high school young men ought to treat girls, view toxic masculinity and be paragons of virtue.
I was so disappointed with the execution of this wonderful plot premise. I don’t blame Blount for wanting to write a teachable story on these important issues. I respect her for it and wish an editor had toned down the preaching. SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW could and should have been a five star review for me.
I’d recommend the book for middle schoolers who haven’t had a lot of exposure to sexual assault and rape culture but older teens will probably see right through the over lessons.
I wish I didn’t have to write this review. I’m a Patty Blount fan and preordered SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW as I do all her YA novels. When I received notification that I was approved for an ARC, I was so excited.
Blount’s writing is as appealing as ever. I love how she strings words together with beauty and ease. Initially, I was drawn into Ashley’s fears and pain. Her PTSD felt authentic.
After a few pages, the story morphed from genuine to self-righteous. I felt as if I was reading Blout’s opinions instead of a teenage rape survivor about toxic masculinity, high school football and how these issues ought to be handled. Ashley’s victim impact statements sounded like an adult writing for a teenager.
Derek was obviously the character on a journey from complicit to champion. The dialogue around his education seemed more like the writer attempting to educate readers poorly disguised as plots.
Sebastian was The Perfect Boy example of how high school young men ought to treat girls, view toxic masculinity and be paragons of virtue.
I was so disappointed with the execution of this wonderful plot premise. I don’t blame Blount for wanting to write a teachable story on these important issues. I respect her for it and wish an editor had toned down the preaching. SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW could and should have been a five star review for me.
I’d recommend the book for middle schoolers who haven’t had a lot of exposure to sexual assault and rape culture but older teens will probably see right through the over lessons.
August 8, 2018
I voluntarily read and reviewed an copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Thanks to the author for providing a copy of this book via Netgalley
NO means NO
Harassment and mysoginistic jokes are not funny
This is powerful read. I wish this kind of books they studied at school. We need this books to change our rape culture.
I'm a new fan of this author. It's my second book but I'm looking for read more.
I loved everything about this book: the plot, the family dinamics, MCs and SCs, author's style.
That family is just falling apart after this tragedy. They trying to be the whole one again.
I loved the heroine. She is so strong, fearless, unstoppable.
Thanks to the author for providing a copy of this book via Netgalley
NO means NO
Harassment and mysoginistic jokes are not funny
This is powerful read. I wish this kind of books they studied at school. We need this books to change our rape culture.
I'm a new fan of this author. It's my second book but I'm looking for read more.
I loved everything about this book: the plot, the family dinamics, MCs and SCs, author's style.
That family is just falling apart after this tragedy. They trying to be the whole one again.
I loved the heroine. She is so strong, fearless, unstoppable.
July 19, 2018
I'll be honest when I say this, I don't think any review I give Someone I Used To Know would be able to do it justice.
No one wants to read or talk about rape but it must be done to bring awareness wherever and as much as possible.
Rape does not just affect the victim it affects the people around the victim, their family and friends. This book hits on this and really brings it home.
No one wants to read or talk about rape but it must be done to bring awareness wherever and as much as possible.
Rape does not just affect the victim it affects the people around the victim, their family and friends. This book hits on this and really brings it home.
August 9, 2018
I can sum up my review of this book with two simple words of advice to you, "Read it!" You really don't need to read more of my review than that, but I'll still write more to let you know why those two words....
This is an emotive story, dealing with the past and present relationships particularly between a brother and sister, Derek and Ashley, and most especially after she was raped by her brother's friend and teammate. It is a heart wrenching story portraying the feelings of guilt, betrayal and pressure on the family and peers as well as the victim. It also highlights how societal expectations and excuses, rape culture and more really need to change - as it says in the story, "Does anybody ever say 'Oh, it's just extremists being extremists.' No! So why is 'boys will be boys' an excuse?" It is a story about striving to change these attitudes, moving forward, forgiveness and love.
The story is superbly written, giving an insight into the difficult and traumatic impact of sexual assault on the family of the victim and the attitudes portrayed by peers and the community towards them all. It deals with difficult issues but does so within the context of the story that highlights how society still puts so much emphasis on the victim being the one to blame - wearing provocative clothing, attitude, etc - and not enough on the assailant for accepting that No means No. The character development really brings them to life, encouraging the reader to relate and react to their experiences and making them feel real.
I really think this story should be on the shelves of every high school and read by all students, their parents and their teachers, regardless of gender. It shows how rape culture permeates society, it is a brutally honest, thought provoking and evocative read. It may well not be a comfortable read but sometimes that's just what's needed to change attitudes and expectations and for many that change needs to start in schools. For me, this book is a keeper, an emotive roller coaster and a real eye opener.
I requested and was given a copy of this book, via NetGalley. This is my honest review of this amazing, thought provoking book after choosing to read it.
This is an emotive story, dealing with the past and present relationships particularly between a brother and sister, Derek and Ashley, and most especially after she was raped by her brother's friend and teammate. It is a heart wrenching story portraying the feelings of guilt, betrayal and pressure on the family and peers as well as the victim. It also highlights how societal expectations and excuses, rape culture and more really need to change - as it says in the story, "Does anybody ever say 'Oh, it's just extremists being extremists.' No! So why is 'boys will be boys' an excuse?" It is a story about striving to change these attitudes, moving forward, forgiveness and love.
The story is superbly written, giving an insight into the difficult and traumatic impact of sexual assault on the family of the victim and the attitudes portrayed by peers and the community towards them all. It deals with difficult issues but does so within the context of the story that highlights how society still puts so much emphasis on the victim being the one to blame - wearing provocative clothing, attitude, etc - and not enough on the assailant for accepting that No means No. The character development really brings them to life, encouraging the reader to relate and react to their experiences and making them feel real.
I really think this story should be on the shelves of every high school and read by all students, their parents and their teachers, regardless of gender. It shows how rape culture permeates society, it is a brutally honest, thought provoking and evocative read. It may well not be a comfortable read but sometimes that's just what's needed to change attitudes and expectations and for many that change needs to start in schools. For me, this book is a keeper, an emotive roller coaster and a real eye opener.
I requested and was given a copy of this book, via NetGalley. This is my honest review of this amazing, thought provoking book after choosing to read it.
August 27, 2021
I have many feelings after reading this book, ranging from anger/outrage to despair. "Someone I Used to Know" is a book about sexual assault, and the lasting effects upon the victim and their family. What horrifies me, is that while reading this book, I felt like I was reading a dystopian novel, one about a twisted and cruel future. But that's just the thing; what's going on in this book is happening all the time, all over the world. Right now.
While reading this book, I felt like it was talking directly to me. As a male, a white male at that, I have privilege. Lots of it, and I don't even realize it a lot of the time. Books like this help me to step out of my own shoes, into the shoes of others who deal with things that I WON'T HAVE TO. And, I'll tell you; it doesn't feel good. But it's important.
I think that books like these should be required reading in High Schools. Not only are they important, but THEY ARE RELEVANT TO TEENS IN THAT AGE GROUP! This book deals with teens, high schoolers at that.
While reading, I was shocked at how many little things (ads, social norms, etc), are made to objectify women. And people, men and women alike, see that over and over, and over. After a while, people become desensitized, and just accept it as the norm. But, that's not right. It shouldn't be the norm at all.
This book also touched on Rape Culture, which I think is really important. Women are taught from a young age that it's rude to stand up for yourself, rude to reject people, impolite to act tough and sure of yourself. However, none of that is true or safe. Rape Culture is built into the foundations of what we teach our children, and until we change something, this isn't going to end.
I'm going to end here with a quote from Elie Wiesel. I do believe that it applies here. If we don't stand up and start believing women who say they've been raped, then this isn't going to change.
While reading this book, I felt like it was talking directly to me. As a male, a white male at that, I have privilege. Lots of it, and I don't even realize it a lot of the time. Books like this help me to step out of my own shoes, into the shoes of others who deal with things that I WON'T HAVE TO. And, I'll tell you; it doesn't feel good. But it's important.
I think that books like these should be required reading in High Schools. Not only are they important, but THEY ARE RELEVANT TO TEENS IN THAT AGE GROUP! This book deals with teens, high schoolers at that.
While reading, I was shocked at how many little things (ads, social norms, etc), are made to objectify women. And people, men and women alike, see that over and over, and over. After a while, people become desensitized, and just accept it as the norm. But, that's not right. It shouldn't be the norm at all.
This book also touched on Rape Culture, which I think is really important. Women are taught from a young age that it's rude to stand up for yourself, rude to reject people, impolite to act tough and sure of yourself. However, none of that is true or safe. Rape Culture is built into the foundations of what we teach our children, and until we change something, this isn't going to end.
I'm going to end here with a quote from Elie Wiesel. I do believe that it applies here. If we don't stand up and start believing women who say they've been raped, then this isn't going to change.
The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference.
September 8, 2018
A powerful and moving book that puts misogyny and rape culture under a microscope, and observes the devastating effects of rape and sexual assault on not just a survivor, but their loved ones as well.
August 11, 2018
This one was hard listening at. I just wanted to rage against the world! But it is a book that you have to listen to/read. Even better, a book to read at school and discuss.
The book takes place in the present, but also in the past, 1 year ago, 2 years ago, and sometimes we go further back to look at the relationship between brother and sister, best friends, and where it went wrong.
2 years ago Ashley was raped. It was her brother's teammate, and someone she liked. That is also when she started to hate her brother and still do. She is still coping and will always try to cope. She has anxiety attacks and is trying to find ways to deal. Oh my heart broke for her. It was so hard to listen when she was hurting to so badly.
What was different with this one than other books is that her rapist actually got sent to jail (albeit a stupid short sentence). And even if people still sneer at her, she has a great support system and friends at school. But that does not mean she can just get over it and move on. She is angry and hurting.
Loved her friend, especially Sebastien!
Half this book is Derek's. He messed up. And I was all for her hating him, but the more I got to know him, and to see how badly he was hurting too, the more I wanted them all to forgive each other. He has his own guilt. He wishes he could have stopped it. He should have stopped it. He learns how to honestly be a better human being. If we all stood up to BS and "boys being boys", then maybe things could start to change.
I liked how it did not only show her side, but also how her family was trying to deal. You never get to see much about the those trying to help, and those that might be clueless how to help.
Powerful and raw at times. A great book
Narration
Amy is awesome as always and Nick does a great job too
The book takes place in the present, but also in the past, 1 year ago, 2 years ago, and sometimes we go further back to look at the relationship between brother and sister, best friends, and where it went wrong.
2 years ago Ashley was raped. It was her brother's teammate, and someone she liked. That is also when she started to hate her brother and still do. She is still coping and will always try to cope. She has anxiety attacks and is trying to find ways to deal. Oh my heart broke for her. It was so hard to listen when she was hurting to so badly.
What was different with this one than other books is that her rapist actually got sent to jail (albeit a stupid short sentence). And even if people still sneer at her, she has a great support system and friends at school. But that does not mean she can just get over it and move on. She is angry and hurting.
Loved her friend, especially Sebastien!
Half this book is Derek's. He messed up. And I was all for her hating him, but the more I got to know him, and to see how badly he was hurting too, the more I wanted them all to forgive each other. He has his own guilt. He wishes he could have stopped it. He should have stopped it. He learns how to honestly be a better human being. If we all stood up to BS and "boys being boys", then maybe things could start to change.
I liked how it did not only show her side, but also how her family was trying to deal. You never get to see much about the those trying to help, and those that might be clueless how to help.
Powerful and raw at times. A great book
Narration
Amy is awesome as always and Nick does a great job too
August 8, 2018
**You can see this full review and more at Book Briefs: https://bookbriefs.net**
Someone I used to Know by Patty Blount is a young adult contemporary novel that deals with a serious issue. Someone I used to Know looks at the aftermath of dealing with your life after a sexual assault. One of the things I admire most about author Patty Blount is that she is not afraid to deal with tough issues. Someone I used to Know is not a fun read by any stretch of the imagination, nor is it a light, breezy story. It is a heavy narrative, but it's an important one. Someone I used to Know is a novel that will stick with me. It is a novel that I will remember, but be warned that it does deal with rape, so if that is something that is upsetting for you to read about, this is going to be a difficult novel for you.
Our main character is Ashley. And honestly this novel was hard for me to get through, but I loved Ashley so much that I wanted to hear her story to the end. And the character growth we get to witness with Ashley is so wonderful. Patty Blount is so excellent at writing characters. Characters that you feel like you know. Ashley felt real to me, so all of the emotions she was going through, I felt. I felt her at her weakest and I felt her as she gained confidence and strength again. Watching Ashley's journey made the tough subject matter worth it for me. Someone I used to Know is a really wonderfully executed story. Ashley is a powerful character. Someone I used to Know by Patty Blount is a book I would recommend you check out for yourself.
This review was originally posted on Book Briefs
Someone I used to Know by Patty Blount is a young adult contemporary novel that deals with a serious issue. Someone I used to Know looks at the aftermath of dealing with your life after a sexual assault. One of the things I admire most about author Patty Blount is that she is not afraid to deal with tough issues. Someone I used to Know is not a fun read by any stretch of the imagination, nor is it a light, breezy story. It is a heavy narrative, but it's an important one. Someone I used to Know is a novel that will stick with me. It is a novel that I will remember, but be warned that it does deal with rape, so if that is something that is upsetting for you to read about, this is going to be a difficult novel for you.
Our main character is Ashley. And honestly this novel was hard for me to get through, but I loved Ashley so much that I wanted to hear her story to the end. And the character growth we get to witness with Ashley is so wonderful. Patty Blount is so excellent at writing characters. Characters that you feel like you know. Ashley felt real to me, so all of the emotions she was going through, I felt. I felt her at her weakest and I felt her as she gained confidence and strength again. Watching Ashley's journey made the tough subject matter worth it for me. Someone I used to Know is a really wonderfully executed story. Ashley is a powerful character. Someone I used to Know by Patty Blount is a book I would recommend you check out for yourself.
This review was originally posted on Book Briefs
June 20, 2025
4 Stars
A very heavy hitting book that feels very familiar to many rape cases in America with Chanel Millers case standing out because her rapist was an athlete and a lot of victim blaming was had once more.
I think that in the book there was a lot of help and support between past and present but somethings I found slightly difficult with her therapist kind of just being like if you say you're okay you'll get there when there's clearly a lot of trauma.
It was interesting to see how the family dealt with it and how characters felt blame for themselves and the impact of what rape does.
A very heavy hitting book that feels very familiar to many rape cases in America with Chanel Millers case standing out because her rapist was an athlete and a lot of victim blaming was had once more.
I think that in the book there was a lot of help and support between past and present but somethings I found slightly difficult with her therapist kind of just being like if you say you're okay you'll get there when there's clearly a lot of trauma.
It was interesting to see how the family dealt with it and how characters felt blame for themselves and the impact of what rape does.
February 8, 2024
Reread 02/2024 review- 3 stars?? Ashley was ever more 😑😬🙄😤😡 this time around 🙃
Reread 08/2021 review- I still agree 100% with my original review. Although, I think I found Ashley even more annoying and infuriating this go-round (like, I was even having trouble maintaining sympathy for her… instead, it was all focused on Derek)
Original 03/2021 review-3.99 stars〜4.1 stars. It’s simultaneously much better than I had hoped but yet not as awesome as I would’ve liked. I was incredibly annoyed by Ashley towards the end, especially regarding Derek ☹️. Towards the end, I felt so bad for Derek and I just 🥺💜. Also, Sebastian was 💯 (almost unrealistically so but 🤷🏻♀️).
Either way, I feel like this book did a really good job of showing the effect r*pe can I have on everybody, not just the person who was r*ped. Also, good job showing toxic masculinity in sports. Additionally, I really liked Ian & found myself shipping Ian x Derek. 😅
Reread 08/2021 review- I still agree 100% with my original review. Although, I think I found Ashley even more annoying and infuriating this go-round (like, I was even having trouble maintaining sympathy for her… instead, it was all focused on Derek)
Original 03/2021 review-3.99 stars〜4.1 stars. It’s simultaneously much better than I had hoped but yet not as awesome as I would’ve liked. I was incredibly annoyed by Ashley towards the end, especially regarding Derek ☹️. Towards the end, I felt so bad for Derek and I just 🥺💜. Also, Sebastian was 💯 (almost unrealistically so but 🤷🏻♀️).
Either way, I feel like this book did a really good job of showing the effect r*pe can I have on everybody, not just the person who was r*ped. Also, good job showing toxic masculinity in sports. Additionally, I really liked Ian & found myself shipping Ian x Derek. 😅
August 22, 2018
Copy courtesy of NetGalley
Book hangover of note
**Warning: this novel is a tear jerker of the not-pretty-crying kind.**
Rape is not a socially acceptable topic, but it's been highlighted in many books, as it should be! The way this author presented the subject was brilliant - victims, their families and their communities are vastly impacted when sexual assault occurs and this book provides amazing insight into every aspect affected.
The writing style ensured that you are captivated from the outset, drawn into each scenario and does not allow you to escape emotions this story elicits. Only a 4 star because
Book hangover of note
**Warning: this novel is a tear jerker of the not-pretty-crying kind.**
Rape is not a socially acceptable topic, but it's been highlighted in many books, as it should be! The way this author presented the subject was brilliant - victims, their families and their communities are vastly impacted when sexual assault occurs and this book provides amazing insight into every aspect affected.
The writing style ensured that you are captivated from the outset, drawn into each scenario and does not allow you to escape emotions this story elicits. Only a 4 star because
June 5, 2024
Read this in one sitting.
February 27, 2024
Audible 2/24
I received a copy of this title to read and review for Wicked Reads
5 Riveting Stars
Young Adult age-range: 14+ plus due to content.
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to review Someone I Used to Know. The novel is a journey showcasing rape culture, done so with intelligence and maturity, yet written in an age-appropriate manner befitting the narrators. The author left no stone unturned, revealing every facet from just about every angle.
Multilayered, told far in the past, two years ago, one year ago, and in the present. The author needs to be applauded for revealing the after-effects rape have on an entire community, the school, and a family, not just the victim, all wrapped up in an easy to digest package.
On the surface, Ashley and Derek appear to be working on themselves, but it's a forward momentum to repair the damage to their strained relationship as brother and sister, something that was harmed initially by how their parents felt it easier for the big brother to entertain the sister vs raising and entertaining her themselves.
When the hero not only lets his sister down, but leaves her open and vulnerable to harm. The brother and sister were compelling, proving perception is reality. How they view the situation is tainted by their experiences and not anything how others around them view it. I believe it's important to imprint this into memory and remember it when interacting with others in our everyday lives. While we may feel right from our stance, they don't view the world as we do, and they are also right from their own stance.
The events that happened didn't feel sensationalized or exploitative- organic, easily seen as something that could unfold, especially when dealing with the mob-mentality of a team in a high school, a community that is sports-minded, and a society that believes sex sells. Truly, the author hit every note, the psychology of every viewpoint.
The author explores the dynamic of how rape and rape culture affects not only the victim, but her family, the community, and the strain this places on all the individual relationships and on a whole. The guilt, the shame, the powerlessness isn't only held by the victim but everyone involved. Their lives have been knocked off their axis, each and every one of them. Everyone rallies to comfort and help the victim, not realizing they too need help processing and moving forward with this new reality.
Do I believe this is a novel for everyone? Yes and no.
Yes, I believe it's something everyone should read.
The reason I also say no is simply due to the fact that while I found it riveting and poignant, and I'll truly never forget it, the entertainment value is not that of a fictional read and it may not suit everyone. I don't want someone to pick this up and assume it's a linear novel, slowly telling a fictionalized story.
We all learn differently. While some are adept at picking up subtle suggestion, others may not enjoy being hammered in the face page after page with no reprieve. This novel is very present and forward, the sole focus the subject matter. That's why I say yes and no, as it involves the individual and what may or may not trigger them.
With that being said, I highly recommend and will be checking out the author's backlist, applauding the maturity and insight within the writing.
I received a copy of this title to read and review for Wicked Reads
5 Riveting Stars
Young Adult age-range: 14+ plus due to content.
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to review Someone I Used to Know. The novel is a journey showcasing rape culture, done so with intelligence and maturity, yet written in an age-appropriate manner befitting the narrators. The author left no stone unturned, revealing every facet from just about every angle.
Multilayered, told far in the past, two years ago, one year ago, and in the present. The author needs to be applauded for revealing the after-effects rape have on an entire community, the school, and a family, not just the victim, all wrapped up in an easy to digest package.
On the surface, Ashley and Derek appear to be working on themselves, but it's a forward momentum to repair the damage to their strained relationship as brother and sister, something that was harmed initially by how their parents felt it easier for the big brother to entertain the sister vs raising and entertaining her themselves.
When the hero not only lets his sister down, but leaves her open and vulnerable to harm. The brother and sister were compelling, proving perception is reality. How they view the situation is tainted by their experiences and not anything how others around them view it. I believe it's important to imprint this into memory and remember it when interacting with others in our everyday lives. While we may feel right from our stance, they don't view the world as we do, and they are also right from their own stance.
The events that happened didn't feel sensationalized or exploitative- organic, easily seen as something that could unfold, especially when dealing with the mob-mentality of a team in a high school, a community that is sports-minded, and a society that believes sex sells. Truly, the author hit every note, the psychology of every viewpoint.
The author explores the dynamic of how rape and rape culture affects not only the victim, but her family, the community, and the strain this places on all the individual relationships and on a whole. The guilt, the shame, the powerlessness isn't only held by the victim but everyone involved. Their lives have been knocked off their axis, each and every one of them. Everyone rallies to comfort and help the victim, not realizing they too need help processing and moving forward with this new reality.
Do I believe this is a novel for everyone? Yes and no.
Yes, I believe it's something everyone should read.
The reason I also say no is simply due to the fact that while I found it riveting and poignant, and I'll truly never forget it, the entertainment value is not that of a fictional read and it may not suit everyone. I don't want someone to pick this up and assume it's a linear novel, slowly telling a fictionalized story.
We all learn differently. While some are adept at picking up subtle suggestion, others may not enjoy being hammered in the face page after page with no reprieve. This novel is very present and forward, the sole focus the subject matter. That's why I say yes and no, as it involves the individual and what may or may not trigger them.
With that being said, I highly recommend and will be checking out the author's backlist, applauding the maturity and insight within the writing.
March 13, 2020
A heart gripping book, this book really made me think, my heart ached at the end.
I was so close to tears, because this happens all the time.
Ashley has a lot of hate boiling up inside her.
Derek said the half truth.
Derek has been living in pain, knowing his sister hates him, they are slowing and painfully pulling their family apart. But they could not see it through all the things they were going through.
I would recommend this book to anyone, I wish I could give this book more stars.
5/5 stars from me
I was so close to tears, because this happens all the time.
Ashley has a lot of hate boiling up inside her.
Derek said the half truth.
Derek has been living in pain, knowing his sister hates him, they are slowing and painfully pulling their family apart. But they could not see it through all the things they were going through.
I would recommend this book to anyone, I wish I could give this book more stars.
5/5 stars from me
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 12, 2020
This is such an important topic and we need great literature for our kids that tackles it head on with heart, mindfulness, clarity, and careful consideration.
This ain't it. A hammer instead of a paintbrush. A shotgun instead of a sniper rifle.
Putting facts and statistics into high school kid's mouths and treating them like point-making puppets instead of giving them depth and development, letting them see, learn, grow, reflect, challenge, regret...
This book takes too many shortcuts and the subject is too important and deserves better treatment.
This ain't it. A hammer instead of a paintbrush. A shotgun instead of a sniper rifle.
Putting facts and statistics into high school kid's mouths and treating them like point-making puppets instead of giving them depth and development, letting them see, learn, grow, reflect, challenge, regret...
This book takes too many shortcuts and the subject is too important and deserves better treatment.
July 4, 2018
A girl is returning to school after being raped. But to her, it seems, one of the worst parts is that her brother betrayed her and took the side of the rapist. A book about familial destruction, self-esteem destruction, victimization, identity. Some parts of it I didn't find truly believable (some dialog, the brother's sections) but could be an engaging read for teens interested in the #metoo movement.
September 10, 2018
TRIGGER WARNING: Rape & Anxiety Attacks
Wow, this was a powerful book. To be honest, I wasn’t sure about this book at the beginning it has a lot of back-and-forth with the timeline, and I kept getting pulled out of the story at the beginning, but I’m so glad that I continued with it. In this book, we follow two different perspectives the first one is of a girl, Ashley, who was raped two years ago and is still dealing with the trauma of the event. The other point of you we get is her brother Derek who was on the same football team as his sister's rapist and did not do his best at supporting his sister and dealing with this event.
We deal with two different timelines we get scenes from the year in which the rape happened and present day which is two years later. The school Ashley goes to and where the sexual assault occurred had banned football team after Ashley’s rape, and now two years later the football team is being reinstated. Ashley has to deal with this added trigger. Derek is a freshman in college, and he’s dealing with his guilt, his lack of knowledge of rape culture, and trying to come to terms with his part in what happened with sister.
This book was done so well the topics were handled in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever read in a YA book because I find with books about sexual assault if there’s a romance aspect then the romance seems to break the reality of the sexual assault trauma. This one has two different romances; Derek has a girlfriend, and Ashley has a love interest. They are both done excellently. Sexual assault is a part of each of these romantic relationships because they’re a part of these two different people. I never once felt like the actions of the couples went against the natural progression that would occur in a relationship with someone who is a survivor or family member of a survivor of a sexual assault.
I highly recommend this book I do think it could be very triggering for someone who has experience sexual assault. There are also anxiety attacks that are described in detail. You can picture and almost feel what the character is feeling when they’re having these anxiety attacks. Those are the two things I think you should be aware of going in because they are depicted realistically.
I received an e-arc of this book through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review this in no way affects my review or rating of this book.
Wow, this was a powerful book. To be honest, I wasn’t sure about this book at the beginning it has a lot of back-and-forth with the timeline, and I kept getting pulled out of the story at the beginning, but I’m so glad that I continued with it. In this book, we follow two different perspectives the first one is of a girl, Ashley, who was raped two years ago and is still dealing with the trauma of the event. The other point of you we get is her brother Derek who was on the same football team as his sister's rapist and did not do his best at supporting his sister and dealing with this event.
We deal with two different timelines we get scenes from the year in which the rape happened and present day which is two years later. The school Ashley goes to and where the sexual assault occurred had banned football team after Ashley’s rape, and now two years later the football team is being reinstated. Ashley has to deal with this added trigger. Derek is a freshman in college, and he’s dealing with his guilt, his lack of knowledge of rape culture, and trying to come to terms with his part in what happened with sister.
This book was done so well the topics were handled in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever read in a YA book because I find with books about sexual assault if there’s a romance aspect then the romance seems to break the reality of the sexual assault trauma. This one has two different romances; Derek has a girlfriend, and Ashley has a love interest. They are both done excellently. Sexual assault is a part of each of these romantic relationships because they’re a part of these two different people. I never once felt like the actions of the couples went against the natural progression that would occur in a relationship with someone who is a survivor or family member of a survivor of a sexual assault.
I highly recommend this book I do think it could be very triggering for someone who has experience sexual assault. There are also anxiety attacks that are described in detail. You can picture and almost feel what the character is feeling when they’re having these anxiety attacks. Those are the two things I think you should be aware of going in because they are depicted realistically.
I received an e-arc of this book through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review this in no way affects my review or rating of this book.
September 4, 2020
Such an important book to be written. On such a hard subject. Was more YA than I thought it was going to be. But I tackled it perfectly
May 15, 2022
3.5/5
July 19, 2018
I found this book to be very interesting and very different than what I was expecting and what I'm used to. This book is all about our main character Ashley. She was raped before this book even takes place by her brothers friend. This book is all about the aftermath of the assault and how it affects everyone involved. I really enjoyed it because I liked how sad it was, everyone telling Ashley that she should get over it because it happened years ago and they need to stop punishing the other boys by returning the sports teams. I really felt for Ashley because I feel that this is the kind of thing that happens all of the time after a specific time frame it is expected to be forgotten and that isn't always the case for people. Not only did this book show the struggles for Ashley it also showed the struggles that her brother faced with the guilt of bring those boys into his sister's life but also dealing when them in the aftermath, especially as they only got a slap on the wrist and nothing was really done while his sister's life was ruined. I found Ashley to be a very strong character and it was nice to see her not written as a shrinking violet just passively letting things go but this terrible thing happened to her and she wanted the perpetrator to be held liable for their actions. This book won't be for everyone and the strong content could be triggering for some readers.
May 25, 2020
I am sure that this is the best young adult novel I have read on the subject! I appreciated that it faced rape head on from the start and how it showed that not only the victim is affected by it but her family as well!
July 19, 2018
***I received an ARC of this bookvia Netgalley in exchange of an honest review. This does not influence my review in any way.***
Disclaimer: I was triggered when I read this book. And because of that, I cannot guarantee that this book will be “curse-free”. If you are uncomfortable reading curses, I apologize in advance. This book has a sensitive topic, which is rape. If you are uncomfortable talking about that too, you are free to not proceed and read the review. Please read at your own risk.
Let’s get started.
This book is about two siblings who are trying to recover from a traumatic experience, an experience that scarred their bond as brother and sister. One feels hate towards the other, and one feels guilt. Both are willing to do anything just to forget what happened. They will test if blood in indeed thicker than water.
Okay. Where do I even begin???
Let’s just skip first thoughts because I can’t remember my first thoughts about this book.
When I started reading this, I was immediately sucked inside the world. I immediately felt the feelings Ashley, the rape victim, felt. It was around the 2nd chapter where the triggers started. I don’t know what to feel! And the feelings I’m feeling, I don’t know where to put it.
Ashley hated her brother, Derek. She said he was one of the reasons she was raped. But Ashley blamed him for other reasons. I understand Ashley’s side. Not being a rape victim side but the side where it’s hard to recover from a traumatic experience. I know that feeling so well; that feeling where when you experience a very traumatic experience, it’s very hard to recover and move on from that. She’s healing. And she needs all support she can get even though she kind of feels like she’s alone. She feels like there’s no one who truly understands her. And that alone is a struggle. Dealing with your own emotion, your own self, is already a struggle. Add to that the uncontrollable emotions, like anxiety and fear, is another level of struggle.
When it is already difficult to deal with yourself, what makes you think it’s easier to deal with other people?
And there’s Derek, Ashley’s older brother.
I don’t know why but my initial feelings I had towards Derek’s character was not hate but curiosity. I want to know why he’s involved in his sister’s rape. And when I found out about it, bes, I almost hurl my phone. I was that triggered. I understood Ashley’s rage towards him then.
In a way, I understood why Derek wants to have some of his own “Me” time and own stuff to do that is not shared with Ashley. However, what I don’t understand is the way he handled getting it. Ashley was attached to Derek; they were close when they were little. And so when Derek started pulling away from Ashley, of course Ashley would cling even tighter because she thought that she’s not wanted anymore. Derek just got his approach wrong.
When Derek started showing signs that he wants to change, like he really was sorry for what happened to his sister, that he is willing to do anything, as in disappear from Ashley’s life, to help his sister, I felt somewhat proud of him. He was so ready to be out of Ashley’s life just for her to recover.
I have one issue though. I feel like their parents kind of blame Ashley too. It does not say but that’s what I’m feeling. Especially when the mother explained that Derek sure deserves some of his own time and do his own thing. However, why did they not explain these things to Ashley when they were little?
Derek loves playing football with their daddy. And Ashley who wants to do everything with Derek also wants to play football. But their dad won’t allow it. So why not explain to Ashley that she is not allowed to play football because it’s what Derek wants to do and there are things that Derek wants for himself that he doesn’t want to share. Is that so hard to do as a parent?
Maybe one of the reasons why Ashley felt like Derek doesn’t want her anymore is because of the lack of guidance from their parents. They did not let Ashley understand that Derek and her are two different people and that there are things that one wants to do without the other and accept those reality.
This book is the only book that made me cry every time I read it. And I mean every time. When I reach halfway in the book, I started crying. And when I reach the end, I’m still crying. This book hit me with so many emotions I needed to let some of it out because I felt like I’m close to explosion. This is so heavy!
I love that this book hit all the crucial parts of reality about society and rape culture. I love that this book talked about something as sensitive as rape and give readers lessons about how to deal with it and what is what around this stuff. I want to commend the author, Ms Patty Blount, for being so brave in writing about a topic like this.
The ending of this book is what made me cry real hard. I had to put my phone down to recover from that feels. I’m not gonna talk about the ending to avoid spoilers. But know that I cried cats and dogs after reading the last chapter before the epilogue.
To wrap this up, this book is seriously amazing. I love reading books that has sensitive topics even if it’s fiction. It says a lot about the author, writing books like this. They are brave and they see the harsh and cruel reality of the world. And they use books to open our eyes and see those as well. I totally recommend this book, bessies. I just want to warn you, there are a lot triggering situations here. This book should come with one, so consider this a warning. But if you are not comfortable reading about sensitive topics as rape, then please don’t force yourself to read.
Disclaimer: I was triggered when I read this book. And because of that, I cannot guarantee that this book will be “curse-free”. If you are uncomfortable reading curses, I apologize in advance. This book has a sensitive topic, which is rape. If you are uncomfortable talking about that too, you are free to not proceed and read the review. Please read at your own risk.
Let’s get started.
This book is about two siblings who are trying to recover from a traumatic experience, an experience that scarred their bond as brother and sister. One feels hate towards the other, and one feels guilt. Both are willing to do anything just to forget what happened. They will test if blood in indeed thicker than water.
Okay. Where do I even begin???
Let’s just skip first thoughts because I can’t remember my first thoughts about this book.
When I started reading this, I was immediately sucked inside the world. I immediately felt the feelings Ashley, the rape victim, felt. It was around the 2nd chapter where the triggers started. I don’t know what to feel! And the feelings I’m feeling, I don’t know where to put it.
Ashley hated her brother, Derek. She said he was one of the reasons she was raped. But Ashley blamed him for other reasons. I understand Ashley’s side. Not being a rape victim side but the side where it’s hard to recover from a traumatic experience. I know that feeling so well; that feeling where when you experience a very traumatic experience, it’s very hard to recover and move on from that. She’s healing. And she needs all support she can get even though she kind of feels like she’s alone. She feels like there’s no one who truly understands her. And that alone is a struggle. Dealing with your own emotion, your own self, is already a struggle. Add to that the uncontrollable emotions, like anxiety and fear, is another level of struggle.
When it is already difficult to deal with yourself, what makes you think it’s easier to deal with other people?
And there’s Derek, Ashley’s older brother.
I don’t know why but my initial feelings I had towards Derek’s character was not hate but curiosity. I want to know why he’s involved in his sister’s rape. And when I found out about it, bes, I almost hurl my phone. I was that triggered. I understood Ashley’s rage towards him then.
In a way, I understood why Derek wants to have some of his own “Me” time and own stuff to do that is not shared with Ashley. However, what I don’t understand is the way he handled getting it. Ashley was attached to Derek; they were close when they were little. And so when Derek started pulling away from Ashley, of course Ashley would cling even tighter because she thought that she’s not wanted anymore. Derek just got his approach wrong.
When Derek started showing signs that he wants to change, like he really was sorry for what happened to his sister, that he is willing to do anything, as in disappear from Ashley’s life, to help his sister, I felt somewhat proud of him. He was so ready to be out of Ashley’s life just for her to recover.
I have one issue though. I feel like their parents kind of blame Ashley too. It does not say but that’s what I’m feeling. Especially when the mother explained that Derek sure deserves some of his own time and do his own thing. However, why did they not explain these things to Ashley when they were little?
Derek loves playing football with their daddy. And Ashley who wants to do everything with Derek also wants to play football. But their dad won’t allow it. So why not explain to Ashley that she is not allowed to play football because it’s what Derek wants to do and there are things that Derek wants for himself that he doesn’t want to share. Is that so hard to do as a parent?
Maybe one of the reasons why Ashley felt like Derek doesn’t want her anymore is because of the lack of guidance from their parents. They did not let Ashley understand that Derek and her are two different people and that there are things that one wants to do without the other and accept those reality.
This book is the only book that made me cry every time I read it. And I mean every time. When I reach halfway in the book, I started crying. And when I reach the end, I’m still crying. This book hit me with so many emotions I needed to let some of it out because I felt like I’m close to explosion. This is so heavy!
I love that this book hit all the crucial parts of reality about society and rape culture. I love that this book talked about something as sensitive as rape and give readers lessons about how to deal with it and what is what around this stuff. I want to commend the author, Ms Patty Blount, for being so brave in writing about a topic like this.
The ending of this book is what made me cry real hard. I had to put my phone down to recover from that feels. I’m not gonna talk about the ending to avoid spoilers. But know that I cried cats and dogs after reading the last chapter before the epilogue.
To wrap this up, this book is seriously amazing. I love reading books that has sensitive topics even if it’s fiction. It says a lot about the author, writing books like this. They are brave and they see the harsh and cruel reality of the world. And they use books to open our eyes and see those as well. I totally recommend this book, bessies. I just want to warn you, there are a lot triggering situations here. This book should come with one, so consider this a warning. But if you are not comfortable reading about sensitive topics as rape, then please don’t force yourself to read.
August 22, 2018
I love Patty Blount’s novels so much. They are so real and don’t sugarcoat anything. This was a sort of sequel spinoff of Some Boys which both involve rape culture and overcoming hate and rediscovering their self. I thought this book was so touching and I felt exact emotions that were described in the novel. One chapter had me wanting to get out of my bed, grab a blow horn and just shout how wrong certain things in this world are. This is also a very good gender neutral novel because it has both girl and guy perspectives. Very successful novel Blount has made.
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