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The Haunted Forest Tour

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.

Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws-you'll see them all!

Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100% safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.

We promise.

336 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2007

1313 people are currently reading
10182 people want to read

About the author

James A. Moore

231 books764 followers
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.

James A. Moore was the award winning author of over forty novels, thrillers, dark fantasy and horror alike, including the critically acclaimed Fireworks, Under The Overtree, Blood Red, the Serenity Falls trilogy (featuring his recurring anti-hero, Jonathan Crowley) and his most recent novels, seven Forges, The Blasted Lands, City of Wonders , The Silent Army and the forthcoming The Gates of The Dead (Book Three in the Tides of War Series) and A Hell Within, co-authored with Charles R. Rutledge.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,536 reviews
Profile Image for Zain.
1,884 reviews286 followers
August 4, 2024
Alrighty, now! I have previously read this book back in 2020. And I enjoyed it as much then, as I am enjoying it now.

So, a strange forest mysteriously grows throughout an isolated town. Plants and foliage and trees are everywhere!

And if that ain’t enough, the forest is filled with monsters! Yep. You heard me...monsters!

So, of course, some human gets the brilliant idea to send other humans into the forest. You know, as tourists? And lots of people are lining up to come.

And as you would expect, the haunted forest, which wasn’t asked its opinion on participating in the horror show, reminded the “Einsteins,” who exactly is in charge.

So if you like to read a horror book that doesn’t show much sympathy for some of the characters, this one is for you.

An edifying five stars. ✨✨✨✨✨
Profile Image for Luvtoread (Trying to catch up).
582 reviews454 followers
April 16, 2024
This was great!! It literally had everything, complete horror but black humor thrown in which eases the discomfort of some of the shocks. Highly recommend this book, Jeff Strand and James A.Moore have imaginations on overdrive. What horrific fun! Someday I will read again, even writing this makes me smile at how fun (sick) this book was!!!


Two years later! This is still one of my favorite books, I will definitely read this book again! Love, luv, luv!!💕
Profile Image for Ginger.
993 reviews573 followers
December 30, 2021
4 STARS. Full review up

Gory, bloody and tons of action! This was a fun romp of a book!
This book felt like Jurassic Park had a baby with a monster.
I loved it!


I read this book in about two days because the action is just nonstop and I loved the monsters. Jeff Strand and James Moore collaborated together to put this creature feature together and it worked!

The Haunted Forest Tour starts off with how the Haunted Forest came into being and I was hooked from that moment. Very cool idea!

4 years later, the Haunted Forest Tour decides to do a special Halloween trip right through the middle of the forest. For four years, the tram has gone around the forest but this time, it's going right through the middle. The lucky few that got tickets to the tour will get a chance to see the monsters up close.
And so the tram goes into the forest with Eddie, the driver of the tram and Barbara, the tour guide. The tram is packed with excited and spooked out customers like Christopher, Mindy, Lee and much more. And let the adventure begin!

We've got orcs, huge hairy spiders, packs of yellow aliens, werewolves, gigantic birds with teeth, huge snakes...you get the idea.




Good grief, if there's a monster out there, it's in this book! But there is a reason behind it and I won't go into the monster smorgasbord due to spoilers.
The plot of this book actually gets a bit more complex as the story progresses and I enjoyed that. It's not a stupid creature feature book that just eats and kills people. There's a brain in that monster folks! :D

Recommended to fans of horror and creature feature books. If you love monsters, you'll love this!
Profile Image for Justin Tate.
Author 7 books1,456 followers
October 31, 2018
Starts with a great creature feature Jurassic Park premise, but gets too weird after that. Enjoyable only for the high body count, creative beasties and moments of fun writing. Had I been able to connect with the characters it might have been fantastic. As is, a decent monster mash for Halloween time.
Profile Image for Carol.
1,370 reviews2,351 followers
October 6, 2018
3.5 Stars..

Out of the blue......a mature forest sprouts in a New Mexico desert town killing 273; then turns tourist attraction....and one hell of a huge Monster Mash!

So......"Welcome to the First Annual Haunted Forest Halloween Tour"....and don't worry, H. F. Enterprises has a 100% safety record! "Nobody has ever been eaten on one of our tours, and nobody ever will."

And......"I guarantee that you'll see things you've never imagined." Demons, aliens, ogres and serpents plus beasts with every kind of grotesque appendage. What fun! Monsters in a safe environment....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Loved the concept......and the beginning, but tram ride too short for my liking and wacky monsters too plentiful. Zero fear factor (for me), but still entertaining, at times comical, definitely dangerous for the passengers....and filled with oodles of slimy gore!

Profile Image for Jakob J. 🎃.
275 reviews116 followers
October 30, 2024
“Are we entertained by the lunacy at hand?”
—Diablo Swing Orchestra, Bedlam Sticks

We are.

First things first. Happy posthumous Halloween to the late James A. Moore. This is our first holiday without one of the great seasonal sages. May he rest in Hallowed peace.

Cryptids, creatures of former myth, and hybridized abominations abound as trees pullulate from the desert floor in an anomalous explosion of biological and ethereal diversity. There are no modern, misunderstood monsters dwelling in these coniferous, carnivorous confines. They are idiot servants of hunger and Pestilence. They wait, glaring and clamoring, until the order of sacrifice for a demonic bargain struck to fulfill their sole, malignant purpose is signaled.

Those unfortunate enough to have not seen or read Jurassic Park and trusted in the precautions of a dubious corporation offering tram tours of the baffling ecosystem that should have never been one fateful Halloween night find themselves derailed, ambushed and on the all-you-can-eat buffet of flesh. (Let’s freaks not kid ourselves. We would still run the risk, even if the foundation of the tourist trap boasted a skewered town and impossible climatological conditions).

Romp and circumstance all in the service of non-stop carnage at breakneck pace. The slithering telekinetic feline; the host-seeking stachybotrys chartarum with a thousand squirming, paralyzing young; the initially obnoxious wise-cracking ice bowl ringleader; the lumbering ogre infantry; the lava swamp; the suction-mouthed humanoid lampreys; all and many more denizens of destruction ascending in a maelstrom of slaughter. I will await The Haunted Forest Reunion Tour.

**Thank you, The Belladonna, for riding along with me for our Halloween main event. You were a boon to the experience and made it that much more memorable and exciting**
Profile Image for The Belladonna.
187 reviews82 followers
October 25, 2024
“Now the real fun begins, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy the show.”

What a fun action-packed creature feature! My question is, why is this not a movie yet? I would LOVE to go on this tour, I’m irrationally jealous and so bummed it's not a real attraction. With its Jurassic Park vibe slaughter arena, I had visions of myself tearing an article of clothing for a makeshift Rambo bandana, strapped with an M60 screaming the movie quote, “When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing!!” Highly entertaining with its carnival-style amusement, breezy writing, and oddly light-hearted carnage. What a perfect read for this Halloween season!

"For we do not know what beasts the night dreams when its hours grow too long for even God to be awake." -Night Country

Special thanx and appreciation goes out to my Reading Buddy Jakob J on this one. What a delightful reading escapade! Had a blast with you and the book. Steller choice for your Halloween main event! I am honored to have shared it with you. Wish I had an ounce of your incredible writing ability, my friend.

To James A Moore – The horror community thanks you for your contributions to the craft. May you rest in peace sir.
Profile Image for Brandon Baker.
Author 2 books10.3k followers
September 21, 2023
THIS WAS INSANE

After the beginning introduction it is literally non-stop, which is crazy considering it’s almost 400 pages.

A forest mysteriously erupts from the ground, completely engulfing a small town and is inhabited by every single monster you can think of. And, because capitalism is a thing, a corporation secures the land and holds tours around the “haunted forest”. A special Halloween tour opens that goes straight through the uninhabited bits of the forest, and madness ensues.

Is this a literary masterpiece? No, but it was some of the most fun I’ve had with a book in a very long time!!
It’s gory, over the top, has an insanely high body count, is ridiculous *most* of the time, and was pretty funny- I just had a really, really great time with it, and I highly recommend!
Profile Image for Trish.
2,388 reviews3,744 followers
October 31, 2018
Yeah ... no.

I'm apparently notorious for thinking and saying that dragons need to be everywhere because they make everything better. I stand corrected.

For some reason, I wasn't aware at first that this was a collaboration or I might have been more careful. Unfortunately, I didn't and then the usual problem arose: the beginning was good enough but after about halfway through the book, a certain element is introduced () and it's as if both authors had a freaky idea and for some reason wanted to combine them instead of writing seperate books.

The story is about a forest that suddenly springs up. Like almost instantaneously. It kills 273 people in the prologue alone. *lol*
Years later, the world has accepted its presence and there's even a Haunted Forest Tour since the forest is populated by all kinds of creatures (ogres, giant vampiric bats, snake-like and spider-like monsters, ...).
For Halloween, a special version of the tour is created that not only goes around the forest, as has been usual so far, but through. What couold possibly go wrong???

As much as I love creature features and carnage, I think the other thing this story suffered from was that there were just too many different monsters. It bogged the whole thing down. I mean, on top of every spooky monster known to man, we even had dragons .

It didn't help that I didn't like a single character. There was only one memorable one (), the others mostly blurred into one giant blob of sexism, egomania, stupidity, horniness or whines and wimpers.
Oh, and a few other things were completely un-understandable. Such as ???

So mostly, I was annoyed. Not a good thing at the best of times but if I can't even enjoy bloodshed? And I wasn't scared or creeped out for a second! Yeah ... no.


P.S.: This was a buddy-read with Dennis ... who needs a drink as much as I do now. ;P
Profile Image for Montzalee Wittmann.
5,212 reviews2,339 followers
December 2, 2017
The Haunted Forest Tour by Jeff Strand and James A. Moore is a great horror book. I felt like I was watching an old time horror movie. It was part funny and part horror but I couldn't quit reading it. The crazy things that lead up to the forest and then up to the people in the forest is crazy and weird but fascinating! The last 1/4 of the book lost some stream but it was still good. I enjoyed it tremendously, even if I felt like I was watching a B movie, I loved that! It was a hoot. Gore, mayhem, creatures, terror, and strangeness, YES!!! LOL
Profile Image for Krystal.
2,191 reviews488 followers
March 25, 2021
Excuse the pun, but this really kinda went off the rails.

The idea is this: A random forest sprouts in the desert, bringing with it a host of terrifying monsters. Four years later, it's basically Monster Jurassic Park, with tourists coming from all over the world to jump in a tram that travels through the forest, stopping regularly so that all the weird and murderous wonderful creatures can be seen. Naturally, things go horribly wrong.

I really love the premise. I'm a big fan of monsters, carnage, and Jurassic Park so I was really keen to get into this one, and the opening was a lot of fun and had me pretty excited.

Sadly, it was a little too much carnage and mayhem and not enough actual substance. The monsters were coming hard and fast so I never got a clear image of any of them, and all of the characters blended together for the longest time. Even when I finally figured out who was who, I still found it really hard to get a proper image of them. Example: Lee. He began as this snooty, sceptical author in my head but then kinda morphed into an action hero?

It also majorly bothered me how important it was to the author(s) that all of the women were drooled over by the men in the story. Every woman was the object of someone's leery affection, and it just left me with the impression that at least one of these authors is clearly in need of some loving. It would have been okay if it was just one gross, pervy dude and that was his personality but it was EVERY. SINGLE. MAN.

Then of course the overall plot was pretty thin and terrible so there was nothing really driving the story other than chaos and a lot of death. Characters were introduced and killed off in the same paragraph. The explanations followed no logic. The final showdown was absolutely pathetic. Bizarre choices were made. The characters had no growth. Also kind of no personalities. There was just so much of it that left me scratching my head.

I feel like, as an action movie, this would be in the realm of films like Sharknado. Like, it is just pointless and makes absolutely no sense at all but the gratuitous violence makes it hilariously worth it.

As a book, though, it just didn't work.

So many reasons it should have worked, and so many reasons why it didn't.
Profile Image for Michelle .
390 reviews181 followers
March 7, 2021
The Haunted Forest Tour is a fast-paced read with an abundance of horrific creatures and excessive carnage mixed with cheesy dialogue.

This is B-horror at its finest. Lots of fun and nostalgia; woefully little substance.

I didn't love the book as much as I wanted. The never-ending diatribe about Hannah's chest and Barbara's ass grew tiresome. But it was a wild ride. I had a blast discovering the plethora of inspired monsters. My favorite was

I'm sure anyone looking for a little fun and a lot of destruction in their horror will enjoy this.
Profile Image for Marie.
1,119 reviews389 followers
October 15, 2020
Wow! This was an action packed blood and gore infested horror romp!

A little backstory:

Come one, come all and take a ride into the haunted forest where you will see amazing creatures the likes of what you have never seen before!

There are trams on tracks that take tourists through a haunted forest with all kinds of oddball creatures and the tourists are hoping to get glimpses of the creatures that are roaming through the forest!

Haunted-forest-with-tracks.jpg

However, with any maiden voyage though comes unexpected problems that are unforeseeable and when one of the trams comes to a stop to view the creatures the last thing expected would be that the tram would lose power, but that is what happens and when the power goes out, so does the chance of escape. When another tram rams into the powerless tram it brings about a horrific crash which that is when things get interesting as now the tourists are considered a prime meal for the creatures out in the forest.

What happened to the tram? What happens to the tourists? Do they escape the clutches of the creatures? What kind of creatures are roaming the haunted forest? No spoilers here as you will just have to read the book!

There are quite a few characters within this story which I am not going into detail with each one, but I will say that I really loved most of the characters as they tried to fight their way to survival against the creatures.

There is lots of blood and gore throughout the story which starts practically right away in the first chapter and doesn't let up till the end of the book!

The story just flows along with the fast paced action but when the trams crash and the tourists are sitting ducks is when the story goes into overdrive. From that point on the story stays in overdrive with constant blood and gore action to the point that I could literally not put the book down as I wanted to stay awake to see what would happen next!

This book was awesome and it is a perfect read for Halloween! Giving this book five "gory" stars!

Highly recommend to all horror fans!
Profile Image for Bradley.
Author 9 books4,867 followers
October 4, 2018
Welcome to Disneyland!

This novel is either bizarro fiction, a novel written on a methamphetamine nightmare, or it's a flip off for all the horror fans who've enjoyed too much of a good thing, namely blood, gore, and more blood.

The trick is to have us first CARE for the victims or possible heroes first. Failing that, we need to have a really compelling reason to hate them and want to see them die horrible, nasty, brutish deaths... EVENTUALLY.

In this case, we're given no foreplay.

It's just a carnival sideshow with super-silly demon antics with the most tired sacrifice plot ever devised, a million monsters in a magical forest, and cartoonish (if blood-soaked military action had a cartoon industry) fight scenes.

The reactions of the characters in this book are less than satisfying. What should have come across as sarcastic cardboard cut-outs actually felt less like we were supposed to laugh WITH them and felt more like the novel was laughing AT us.

*sigh*

Not happy. The novel itself was written competently enough if you leave out the purpose of empathizing with anyone... but overall, the effect was depressing.
Profile Image for Leo.
4,984 reviews627 followers
October 4, 2023
I loved listening to the audiobook, it feelt a little like jurassic Park, with tours being hosted in a mysterious forest that suddenly grew up and caused chaos. A lot of different creatures and monsters, lot of action and a bit gory and bloody. Haven't read much monster/creature horror but I'm definitely interested to read more.
Profile Image for Bridgett.
Author 41 books608 followers
July 27, 2025
I've read a few books by Jeff Strand and enjoyed them all. So when I saw this as a free option on Kindle Unlimited, I decided to dive right in. A plot revolving around a haunted forest tour with monsters and gore? Sign me up!

I really enjoy Strand's humor, so I was totally expecting a cheeky, gory horror novel. That's exactly what I got. The Haunted Forest Tour is a fun story.

If you're looking for a quick, enjoyable, and easy read...this is a good choice.

Having said that, are there a few things that could have been better? Perhaps.

Mostly, though, this is definitely worth a read....sort of a cross between The Mist and Jurassic Park, maybe?
Profile Image for Jillian.
79 reviews58 followers
October 17, 2019
So I gave this book a 2.5 stars. This book had the potential to be a really great horror or paranormal story, also from the reviews I’ve read on this author he’s supposed to be funny and witty. This book had none of that , it started off really strong and then almost immediately blood and guts just gross. That is not my thing so the first part I was like ok that is the setup for the story so I let it slide then the set up for the characters and these characters had the potential to be great but ultimately I just didn’t care about them . I think if this story had gone the route of sticking to a true haunting with ghosts instead of all the blood and guts courtesy of all the creatures it would have been so much better. But that’s just my opinion if you love blood and guts maybe this is for you.
Profile Image for mark monday.
1,874 reviews6,306 followers
October 25, 2019
sometimes a person is just in the mood for a fun, dumb rollercoaster ride of horror thrills AND if that rollercoaster is at least competently built then I will probably enjoy myself AND this was a competently written ride so I did enjoy myself, it was a breeze to read, I mean it's not like the writing wowed me in any way but it was easy going down, and up, and down again AND even though Strand and Moore write like polished tv sitcom writers who could care less about things like "depth" or "nuance" - but they do like "atmosphere" to an extent - at least nothing stood out that particularly bugged AND my God there is just an amazing display of monster-creating creativity here, I mean there were just so many fun monsters to choose from that I was able to basically ignore the boring demonic Big Bad and instead focused on things like the mind-melding alien monsters AND the ones that jumped around and giggled a lot AND the cat-thing that was wearing some kinda cape wtf AND that one giant head that was just lying down on the tram tracks smirking at its own awfulness AND of course the scary trees popping up from the ground AND that demon's ice lair was pretty nifty what with all those tormented souls frozen in ice being all tormented and frozen AND oh yeah the angry ogres AND my favorite, the sneaky black slime monster that crawls up and down walls and ceilings and wants to drip parts of itself into people's mouths and then take over their bodies AND AND AND AND AND!
Profile Image for Faerie.
119 reviews89 followers
September 24, 2025
⭐3.7

Plot:
Intense, strange and gory, The Haunted Forest Tour is a wild ride from start to finish. This standalone story begins when a forest mysteriously springs up overnight in a quiet town, bringing with it all manner of monstrous creatures. Naturally, an enterprising soul capitalises on this phenomenon, turning it into a horrifying, and notably unsafe, tourist attraction - with trams circumnavigating the forest in a manner many fondly associate with Jurassic Park. When attempting a special Halloween tour, things naturally unravel. Chaos ensues: monsters attack, and a group seeking thrills find themselves fighting for survival. The premise is bold, entertaining, and provides an original take on a familiar concept. World-building is not as prominent, though the sheer variety of monsters ensures this novel works well as a grisly creature-feature, culminating in a satisfying conclusion.

Writing Style:
Prose here is functional, direct, and vivid when required - especially when describing the grotesque. The monsters are imaginatively conceived and often described with relish. Dialogue is not the central feature, but it is laced with a darkly humourous edge. Pacing is brisk - the action starts early and rarely lets up. The narrative leans heavily on visual horror rather than psychological subtlety, providing plenty of gore and spectacle.

Characters:
The cast is large; many characters are introduced more for the purpose of serving contrast amid monstrous mayhem than for deep emotional investment. Moments of tension, humour, and instinctive reactions encourage the reader to root for certain individuals, though there is little opportunity for psychological development given the story’s timeframe.

Impact:
A thrilling rollercoaster such as this is more about shock, revulsion, and adrenaline than subtle resonance or introspection. However, it does provoke thought - about the ethics of commodifying danger, the commercialisation of fear, and human arrogance in the face of nature or the unknown. With strong gore, body horror, and frequent violent deaths - this is not a book for the squeamish reader.

Entertainment Value:
The Haunted Forest Tour delivers monster-mayhem, visceral horror, laughs in dark places, and a satisfying conclusion. This is certainly not a story for those with delicate sensibilities, nor for those seeking a more psychological thrill - but fans of classic monster stories, B-movie horror, creature flicks, gore, and dark humour are likely to find this an entertaining Halloween title.

Genre:
☠ Horror

Tropes and Themes:
☠ Haunted forest
☠ Monster attack
☠ Opportunistic Corporation
☠ Trapped tourists
☠ Human arrogance
☠ Commercialisation of danger
☠ Nature vs humans
☠ Survival under impossible odds
☠ Spectacle vs reality

Content Warnings:
⚠ Very strong gore
⚠ Body horror
⚠ Violent deaths throughout
⚠ Crude sexual references
⚠ Scenes that may be disturbing to those sensitive to graphic violence.
Profile Image for Dan Corey.
249 reviews83 followers
December 27, 2021
If you are a big fan of Jurassic Park, and you love creature feature horror, then this book is for you. The Haunted Forest Tour is basically a survival horror video game in book form. It has every type of monster and creepy crawler under the sun, all inhabiting a theme park run by tragically naive staffers. Of course, all hell breaks loose, and a rag-tag group of woefully underprepared survivors must do whatever it takes to fight off an army of evil with a couple of weapons and a dwindling supply of ammo. It’s as silly and as fun as it sounds. Great stuff!
Profile Image for Carl Bluesy.
Author 8 books111 followers
June 26, 2024
This is one hell of a monster tour.

What start off as a Jurassic Park style of book where people go on a tour of monsters only for the tour to go horribly wrong. As things progressed, but becomes very much his own story and the progression of strange and weird continues to build from start to finish.

I’m not sure if everyone will be a fan of the demons that are introduced partway through the book, some people might feel like it didn’t fit naturally with the story that was being told the first half, but I loved it! To me caught me by surprise and just when I thought I had the straight figured out I was given someone new to be surprised over. Every kept the excitement as the characters struggle to do the same.

What are some of your favorite monsters books and how strange did they get by the end?
Profile Image for Rachelle.
384 reviews94 followers
June 19, 2023
"It'd been so long since they had new things to play with..."

Ahhh, leave it to good ol capitalism to find a way to monetize monsters! Fools!!! Needless to say things go off the rails, literally.. This one is a fun creature feature free for all!
Profile Image for Farrah.
221 reviews802 followers
December 5, 2019
That was a fun adventure!
A fast paced and very unique story.
I've never before read anything by James A Moore (to be rectified!!) and I'm slowly making my way thru Jeff Strand's books and they are always awesome.
Profile Image for Hunter Shea.
Author 65 books1,007 followers
May 18, 2017
Absolute monster mayhem with wry wit and non stop action. Easily one of my favorite monster books of all time. I didn't want it to end.
Profile Image for Suhailah.
411 reviews20 followers
October 3, 2024
What if one day a forest packed with monsters and creatures mysteriously sprouted up in your town inflicting total destruction and chaos? And what if for Halloween a special and “safe” tour through this forest was offered to the public? Would you attend? And what on earth could possibly go wrong?

Well, this IS exactly what takes place in this book.


WELCOME TO THE HAUNTED FOREST TOUR

Sometimes you may just be in the mood for a creature feature. Think Anaconda, Lake Placid, Predator, The Thing, Gremlins, and even Jurassic Park. Tis Spooky Season after all! 💀

In The Haunted Forest Tour:

EXPECT
↬ Creative creatures
↬ Gory action
↬ Fight for survival
↬ Disastrous moments
↬ High body count
↬ Monster horror

All horrific deaths and seriousness aside, I would have rated this one much higher had there been more character depth and connection. Dare I say even an actual plot! Not to say it still wasn’t fun and entertaining because it most certainly was, but I just tend to crave more depth in my reads. For a fun spooky season escape, definitely consider joining the tour. It’s a wild ride indeed but also sprinkled with lots of funny and light moments.

I did myself a favor and chose the audiobook route. I think it’s definitely the way to go with this one as it would have made a much better film in my opinion—visually appealing gore and all. But the audiobook brought it to the next best level of entertainment. Deserving of a solid 3.75☆ rating.

So, what do you think? Can you survive the Haunted Forest Tour?

Read it and see for yourself!

2024 Monster Mash Challenge Met:
|Bride of Frankenstein Category|
◇ Read a book set in the forest/woods. ✔️
Profile Image for Sea Caummisar.
Author 82 books1,354 followers
April 8, 2021
I am not gonna lie. If mysterious trees sprouted and monsters inhabited the strange forest, I would be the first idiot there to sight-see. I'd rather die knowing strange truths than die being a non -believer. And this story teaches us that the monsters would tear us apart. This is a five star gorefest.
Seriously, somebody monopolizes on a train than runs through a forest of monsters. I would so take that tour. Maybe I'd be the one selling my soul to make it real. MAYBE.
This is non stop action and cool monsters and blood, guts , and gore. How could anyone rate this less than 5 stars?!?!?
I listened to this story, and I wish the voice had made me feel the terror, but it didn't. Oh well, it's still a 5 start book
Profile Image for Warren Fournier.
842 reviews152 followers
October 10, 2020
Rating "The Haunted Forest Tour" five stars, like quite a few reviews have done, is akin to rating the Ed Wood cult classic "Plan 9 From Outer Space" an A plus, or a 70s kaiju battle royale a 10 out of 10. What that means is that if you get a bit of cozy nostalgia from creature features and cheesy B-movies, and are able to see the fun and joy behind sometimes gruesome fantasies of monster mayhem, you are one of the chosen audience. But as much as I love all the ghoulies and beasties in horror, scifi, and fantasy, there was still something missing here for me to recommend this to my fellow horror hounds as a truly great piece of entertainment.

It was too funny to be scary, but too mean-spirited to be an effective horror-comedy. It doesn't pretend to be high literature, but at times this felt like two authors who are drinking buddies having a great time with each other rather than an attempt to deliver a quality fun time for their readers. It was like they were watching "Jurassic Park" and said to themselves, "What if the park was full of supernatural monsters instead of dinosaurs?" and started to write down their inspired scenarios as a semi-joke. I could picture Moore laughing hysterically at his own outrageous contributions and Strand saying "hold my beer!"

Yes, the whole thing was meant to be crude, and I am definitely one of those people who likes to have some rough fun. You can't eat at Alinea every day. But this just felt just a little too prepubescent for my taste.

Please don't get me wrong, I had a good time reading this. I especially enjoyed the first act. But some people like steel hypercoasters and others prefer the old brain-scrambling wooden out-and-backs. I'm of the latter school, and "The Haunted Forest Tour" was for me a fun little romp that was more fanfare than scare.
Profile Image for Bella.
81 reviews3 followers
March 3, 2023
Awful, awful, awful. I can’t even describe how much I didn’t like this. The horror aspects have SOME potential, hence the ONE star. The internal dialogue of the characters was stupid, pointless, childish, amateur, cringe-inducing, boring, irritating, unimportant, sexist, so male-centric at every turn that I just wanted to throw up. I want to sit down and talk to these authors and tell them how annoying this book is. Do you want to cheat on your wives that badly that every man’s internal dialogue had to be “I pictured bending her over the desk” LITERALLY EVERY TIME WE GET THEIR INTERNAL DIALOGUE? Fuck. People get paid for writing this terribly? Sign me up! I want another paycheck!
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Author 3 books1,624 followers
September 20, 2017
Of course there will be comparisons between this story and Jurassic Park, but the scale of carnage in this one goes way beyond Crichton's classic story.
I enjoyed the read, it pulled me in fairly quickly and had a decent pace and storyline, but I have to be honest and say that I expected more comedy with Jeff Strand as the co-author.
It's a pretty decent monster-horror and can be recommended to anyone who enjoys the horror genre in general.
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