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I Have Something to Tell You: A Memoir
On the eve of Christmas and a proposal, Natalie Appleton discovers she doesn’t want to settle for sevens, and starts over. So, she abandons everything in Alberta for Bangkok.
Along the way, with startling illumination, honesty and humor, Natalie unpacks the past that caused her to cheating hearts, small-town suffocation, a tattered family and a genetic disposition to madness. In Bangkok, Natalie kills an albino gecko, crawls into bed with a lampseller and nearly calls off her quest when she’s almost attacked by a leather vendor. And then, at a grimy guesthouse one year after arriving in Thailand, everything changes.
I Have Something to Tell You is a lyrical, vulnerable exploration of the meaning of love, family, home and the magic of the universe. It’s also a captivating window into two equally exotic worlds—the oilpatch-laden Prairies and the resplendent Thailand.
This is a story for anyone who remembers feeling lost in their twenties, for anyone who has been afraid to leave—a crummy partner or town or job, and for anyone who has ever wondered, What if?
Natalie Appleton is an award-winning writer whose stories have appeared in publications around the world, including The New York Times. Natalie won Prairie Fire’s 2016 Banff Centre Bliss Carman Poetry Award, and her prose has been longlisted for the CBC Creative Nonfiction Contest. Natalie is a graduate of the University of Regina School of Journalism and the MA in Creative Writing (Narrative Non-fiction) program at City, University London, UK. In her former life as a journalist, she worked at newspapers across the Prairies. Natalie lives in the Okanagan, BC, with her husband and two sons.
Advance praise for I Have Something to Tell
“Natalie Appleton’s memoir is both travel account and love story, gritty and graceful. A totally clear, honest and generous story of losing and finding oneself, and an indelible read.”
--Alix Hawley, author of All True Not a Lie in It
“Natalie Appleton writes beautifully and in the confiding voice of your very best friend. Anyone who’s ever felt the need to go far away to find home will surely see themselves in the lovely and compulsively readable pages of I Have Something to Tell You.”
--Theo Pauline Nestor, author of Writing Is My Drink
“A gifted travel writer, Natalie Appleton writes about Bangkok with a journalist’s eye for detail and a poet’s turn of phrase. In short, sparkling chapters, she tells the tale of losing herself to find herself in an original voice with a 21st century spin. I Have Something to Tell You beckons irresistibly for readers to follow from small-town Canada to big-city Asia and back again.”
--Elisabeth Eaves, author of Wanderlust and Bare
Along the way, with startling illumination, honesty and humor, Natalie unpacks the past that caused her to cheating hearts, small-town suffocation, a tattered family and a genetic disposition to madness. In Bangkok, Natalie kills an albino gecko, crawls into bed with a lampseller and nearly calls off her quest when she’s almost attacked by a leather vendor. And then, at a grimy guesthouse one year after arriving in Thailand, everything changes.
I Have Something to Tell You is a lyrical, vulnerable exploration of the meaning of love, family, home and the magic of the universe. It’s also a captivating window into two equally exotic worlds—the oilpatch-laden Prairies and the resplendent Thailand.
This is a story for anyone who remembers feeling lost in their twenties, for anyone who has been afraid to leave—a crummy partner or town or job, and for anyone who has ever wondered, What if?
Natalie Appleton is an award-winning writer whose stories have appeared in publications around the world, including The New York Times. Natalie won Prairie Fire’s 2016 Banff Centre Bliss Carman Poetry Award, and her prose has been longlisted for the CBC Creative Nonfiction Contest. Natalie is a graduate of the University of Regina School of Journalism and the MA in Creative Writing (Narrative Non-fiction) program at City, University London, UK. In her former life as a journalist, she worked at newspapers across the Prairies. Natalie lives in the Okanagan, BC, with her husband and two sons.
Advance praise for I Have Something to Tell
“Natalie Appleton’s memoir is both travel account and love story, gritty and graceful. A totally clear, honest and generous story of losing and finding oneself, and an indelible read.”
--Alix Hawley, author of All True Not a Lie in It
“Natalie Appleton writes beautifully and in the confiding voice of your very best friend. Anyone who’s ever felt the need to go far away to find home will surely see themselves in the lovely and compulsively readable pages of I Have Something to Tell You.”
--Theo Pauline Nestor, author of Writing Is My Drink
“A gifted travel writer, Natalie Appleton writes about Bangkok with a journalist’s eye for detail and a poet’s turn of phrase. In short, sparkling chapters, she tells the tale of losing herself to find herself in an original voice with a 21st century spin. I Have Something to Tell You beckons irresistibly for readers to follow from small-town Canada to big-city Asia and back again.”
--Elisabeth Eaves, author of Wanderlust and Bare
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
312 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 22, 2018
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290 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 29, 2018
From prairiefire.ca. Reviewed by Jody Baltessen.
As I read Natalie Appleton’s memoir, I Have Something to Tell You, I was reminded of a time in my life spent wandering toward a certain something I could not define, but that I believed was out there waiting to be found. In I Have Something to Tell You, Appleton returns to these restless years to examine how fate and serendipity shaped her life. But equally, to reveal the will that can be brought to bear to find a way forward.
Appleton’s journey began in her home town of Medicine Hat, Alberta, where she found herself at odds with the expectations of friends, the norms of small town life, and the burden of her own family history. From there, the story moves to Bangkok, Thailand, where she took a one-year contract to teach English at a Rajabhat university, the Thai equivalent to a British polytechnic.
Regardless that the place had changed, Appleton’s personal turmoil and uncertainty mark her days in Thailand. She writes, “the hobo, the seamstress, the sweeper, the guards—they are my neighbors now. Already, I wonder if they will come to know me, and nod at me in the afternoon as I pass by. Already, I want to be with them.” (92) But in Bangkok, by virtue of her physical stature, her hair colour, her race, nationality and gender, she finds herself distinctly “other” and alone. Of these days, she says, “I’m stuck in some kind of strange social limbo. I can’t really spend time with the teachers after hours. Even if either party wanted to, I am seen as a bad influence. Western women, if you can imagine, are thought to be loose.” (125) Using the internet to make connections, Appleton eventually meets and befriends a few expat women and begins a series of ill-fated blind dates with Thai men she finds on a dating website. Significantly, her posts on the dating website also result in an email from another Canadian living and working in Thailand.
Constructed in three parts—“Wild Rose Country,” “City of Angels” and “Magic Roosters”—Appleton’s prose propels the memoir quickly through short tight chapters rich with details that convey the smells, sounds and atmosphere of Medicine Hat and Bangkok, two diametrically opposed locations. In particular, the memoir is bracketed by Appleton’s participation in Loy Krathong, a lovely Thai ceremony that allows participants to make a wish and float their troubles away on a carefully crafted banana leaf lit with candles. Not long after arriving in Bangkok, she launched her first krathong, “a little birthday cake, iced with banana leaves, yellow carnations and purple orchids, incense sticks and a single candle.” (xv) Urged to make a wish, she asks for understanding. “I blink and make my wish: I want to know why I’m here. Just as quickly, I drop the krathong into the river. It bobs twice, then tips over. I gasp. My float’s wet underside sails away into a stream of failed krathongs, lining the river like old board ropes.” Song, her guide for this first ceremony, consoles her saying “Maybe next year will be better, na.” (xviii)
Through these glimpses into Thai life and culture and the in-between world inhabited by her fellow expats, Appleton weaves the story—veering on chaos—of her struggle to come to terms with her departure from Medicine Hat, her family’s complicated history, and the miracle she found in Thailand. A year after launching her first krathong, she is again beside a river. This time, she is not alone. She tells us, “Thais believe it’s a good omen if the krathong stands and sails downriver, candles still alight.” (273) And this time, her krathong slips along on a gentle current and “floats through the night.” (276)
As I read Natalie Appleton’s memoir, I Have Something to Tell You, I was reminded of a time in my life spent wandering toward a certain something I could not define, but that I believed was out there waiting to be found. In I Have Something to Tell You, Appleton returns to these restless years to examine how fate and serendipity shaped her life. But equally, to reveal the will that can be brought to bear to find a way forward.
Appleton’s journey began in her home town of Medicine Hat, Alberta, where she found herself at odds with the expectations of friends, the norms of small town life, and the burden of her own family history. From there, the story moves to Bangkok, Thailand, where she took a one-year contract to teach English at a Rajabhat university, the Thai equivalent to a British polytechnic.
Regardless that the place had changed, Appleton’s personal turmoil and uncertainty mark her days in Thailand. She writes, “the hobo, the seamstress, the sweeper, the guards—they are my neighbors now. Already, I wonder if they will come to know me, and nod at me in the afternoon as I pass by. Already, I want to be with them.” (92) But in Bangkok, by virtue of her physical stature, her hair colour, her race, nationality and gender, she finds herself distinctly “other” and alone. Of these days, she says, “I’m stuck in some kind of strange social limbo. I can’t really spend time with the teachers after hours. Even if either party wanted to, I am seen as a bad influence. Western women, if you can imagine, are thought to be loose.” (125) Using the internet to make connections, Appleton eventually meets and befriends a few expat women and begins a series of ill-fated blind dates with Thai men she finds on a dating website. Significantly, her posts on the dating website also result in an email from another Canadian living and working in Thailand.
Constructed in three parts—“Wild Rose Country,” “City of Angels” and “Magic Roosters”—Appleton’s prose propels the memoir quickly through short tight chapters rich with details that convey the smells, sounds and atmosphere of Medicine Hat and Bangkok, two diametrically opposed locations. In particular, the memoir is bracketed by Appleton’s participation in Loy Krathong, a lovely Thai ceremony that allows participants to make a wish and float their troubles away on a carefully crafted banana leaf lit with candles. Not long after arriving in Bangkok, she launched her first krathong, “a little birthday cake, iced with banana leaves, yellow carnations and purple orchids, incense sticks and a single candle.” (xv) Urged to make a wish, she asks for understanding. “I blink and make my wish: I want to know why I’m here. Just as quickly, I drop the krathong into the river. It bobs twice, then tips over. I gasp. My float’s wet underside sails away into a stream of failed krathongs, lining the river like old board ropes.” Song, her guide for this first ceremony, consoles her saying “Maybe next year will be better, na.” (xviii)
Through these glimpses into Thai life and culture and the in-between world inhabited by her fellow expats, Appleton weaves the story—veering on chaos—of her struggle to come to terms with her departure from Medicine Hat, her family’s complicated history, and the miracle she found in Thailand. A year after launching her first krathong, she is again beside a river. This time, she is not alone. She tells us, “Thais believe it’s a good omen if the krathong stands and sails downriver, candles still alight.” (273) And this time, her krathong slips along on a gentle current and “floats through the night.” (276)
May 2, 2019
I enjoyed this literary travel memoir set in Canada and Thailand. I do wish there had been a book jacket description, since I was confused when the memoir opened in Thailand but then the first 1/3 of the book was set in Canada. FYI. If you like traditional travel writing, I recommend this memoir. The author is a journalist and shares not only her experiences, but the history and politics of what's going on around her. As a Canadian expat who's been living in Thailand for the past year, I learned a lot!
There is also a romance subplot which I found interesting, but isn't a main theme. The main character's dating behaviour differs greatly from my own, which I found fascinating in both good and bad ways. As literary writing should, the author digs deep into her motivations, so even if she reveals an appalling anecdote (like rubbing her crotch against a motorcycle driver she's just met), the writer reflects on why her behaviour was problematic. I appreciate the honesty and the insight.
The writing is quite strong, and I came across many insights about expat/migrant life that I had to write down, as it helped articulate my own experience in ways I haven't yet put to words. Especially if you live abroad or have an interest in life in Thailand, check this memoir out.
There is also a romance subplot which I found interesting, but isn't a main theme. The main character's dating behaviour differs greatly from my own, which I found fascinating in both good and bad ways. As literary writing should, the author digs deep into her motivations, so even if she reveals an appalling anecdote (like rubbing her crotch against a motorcycle driver she's just met), the writer reflects on why her behaviour was problematic. I appreciate the honesty and the insight.
The writing is quite strong, and I came across many insights about expat/migrant life that I had to write down, as it helped articulate my own experience in ways I haven't yet put to words. Especially if you live abroad or have an interest in life in Thailand, check this memoir out.
September 11, 2018
I liked this book even if I felt really sorry for the devoted boyfriend, whose life the author probably upended, and who undoubtedly took his sense of loss on into another relationship, lol. I wish him the best. The author had/possibly still has wanderlust. WANDERLUST, and it propels her to Bangkok. So if you, dear reader, have ever felt like you would like to run away to another country and immerse yourself, this is the book for you. I found her descriptions of the people she met very interesting. Appleton is a good writer and this is a perfect read for anyone who wants to live through someone else's daring and crazy decision.
January 17, 2026
3.75*
I must have heard about this book or author when I lived in Medicine Hat. It was very wonderful to read about the place I called home for 7 years, hearing about The Monarch, Silver Buckle and Elkwater… places that hold such great memories for me. It was also wonderful to hear so much about Thailand! I’ve never been there but loved all the ways Appleton described it. She really brought it to life in my mind and I feel I learned a lot from reading this. This memoir was written in a unique way from others I have read, it’s not very linear but it is definitely beautiful. I am glad I finally got to read it!!
I must have heard about this book or author when I lived in Medicine Hat. It was very wonderful to read about the place I called home for 7 years, hearing about The Monarch, Silver Buckle and Elkwater… places that hold such great memories for me. It was also wonderful to hear so much about Thailand! I’ve never been there but loved all the ways Appleton described it. She really brought it to life in my mind and I feel I learned a lot from reading this. This memoir was written in a unique way from others I have read, it’s not very linear but it is definitely beautiful. I am glad I finally got to read it!!
May 16, 2020
I chose this book because for some reason I wondered to it googling for books about emotional abuse. It wasn't at all what I had in mind to be reading about so yet again I got a reminder not to have any expectation when starting to read a book.
Nevertheless I loved the details she added. I find myself in the same boat at times with her. I felt liberated reading of her struggles and victories written in such honest way. All in all, the reading experience was soothing and a treat for the imagination.
Nevertheless I loved the details she added. I find myself in the same boat at times with her. I felt liberated reading of her struggles and victories written in such honest way. All in all, the reading experience was soothing and a treat for the imagination.
July 2, 2018
It was an ok book. I want in the mood for it. It is a book that you can skim a bit of you're bored. Well written.
November 2, 2019
Enjoyed this memoir especially references to Thailand, Cambodia and Medicine Hat.
April 3, 2022
Interesting Memoir---though guessed the outcome when she hears from a man from her hometown. I enjoyed it. I thought she was very brave and I agree-listen to that inner voice even if it says GO.
November 29, 2025
Love a fast paced travel story of someone moving abroad - to Thailand - Bangkok focused
September 28, 2023
Not great. Reminded me of how conservative and country Alberta is and the book just dragged on too much with details about living in Thailand. Was not what I was hoping.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews