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Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You
Many of us struggle with anxiety, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy. We know that God created us in his image, but how can we be loving when we feel burned out? How can we be free when we struggle with addiction? Will we ever enjoy the complete healing God promises?
Changes That Heal by renowned psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud offers a down-to-earth plan to help us recover from the wounds of the past and grow more and more into the image of God. Combining his professional expertise and personal experience, Dr. Cloud guides us through four basic ways to become joy-filled, mature followers of Christ:
Connect more deeply with others
Separate from others in healthy ways
Understand the good and the bad in ourselves and others
Grow into greater emotional and spiritual maturity
With fascinating case studies and helpful techniques we can start using immediately, Changes That Heal reminds us that God promises to complete his good work in us.
Changes That Heal by renowned psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud offers a down-to-earth plan to help us recover from the wounds of the past and grow more and more into the image of God. Combining his professional expertise and personal experience, Dr. Cloud guides us through four basic ways to become joy-filled, mature followers of Christ:
Connect more deeply with others
Separate from others in healthy ways
Understand the good and the bad in ourselves and others
Grow into greater emotional and spiritual maturity
With fascinating case studies and helpful techniques we can start using immediately, Changes That Heal reminds us that God promises to complete his good work in us.
336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1973
45 people are currently reading
559 people want to read
About the author
Henry Cloud
210 books2,173 followersDr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.
As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships—marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.
As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships—marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
October 6, 2014
My sister bought this for me years ago and I refused to move it to the top of the towering pile of books by my bed, that is until my life got derailed.....
This has been a tough year for me. The Toughest. My ears and my heart were ready to hear what Dr. Cloud was saying. In many ways I have handed over my own adulthood to the people in my family whom I have so wanted to please. I have not pleased them and I have not been acting like an adult either.
I am trying to grow up and this book was very helpful to me on that journey.
A big thank-you to my sister who is also my friend.
This has been a tough year for me. The Toughest. My ears and my heart were ready to hear what Dr. Cloud was saying. In many ways I have handed over my own adulthood to the people in my family whom I have so wanted to please. I have not pleased them and I have not been acting like an adult either.
I am trying to grow up and this book was very helpful to me on that journey.
A big thank-you to my sister who is also my friend.
March 29, 2025
Dr. Cloud does a wonderful job viewing emotional and spiritual concerns through the lens of the character structure. I appreciate his ability to discuss specifically the lasting impact childhood development has on a person even into adulthood, while also providing manageable steps to help adults heal and grow into the best versions of themselves. Dr. Cloud writes in a way that makes these difficult topics understandable to all readers, regardless of their level of mental health education.
August 3, 2022
I read this book with my small group at church and i will say that it was an eye opening book and workbook to do! i recommend for sure!
July 14, 2024
I started this book a year and a half ago and finally got around to finishing it. I think this book is a valuable resource for emotional healing through a spiritual lens. I really appreciated the author’s stories and explanations of unhealthy patterns stemming from deeper emotional and spiritual issues. Any person could gain a deeper understanding of themselves from this book!
August 6, 2020
Interesting things about the book:
- Details how we can bond and separate from others through healthy boundaries
- Explains how to learn from the Good and Bad in your life
- Shares how to grow spiritually and emotionally as an Adult
- Helps explore the sense of self in today’s society
My opinion about this book:
I loved how the author shared stories about the people he helped. He talked about their challenges and how they healed through communication and their faith. He made good connections to psychology, the Bible, and real life experiences which made it easier to understand how we can heal on our own and with God by our side.
Favorite Quotes:
“No healing can occur without forgiveness, for forgiveness binds us to the person who originally injured us. To break that hurtful tie, we must forgive the one who hurt us.” (Pg. 312)
“If you are in a rebuilding time where God has set you aside to heal you and develop you, give him time to do this. Don’t think you have to go save the world too quickly” (Pg. 302)
- Details how we can bond and separate from others through healthy boundaries
- Explains how to learn from the Good and Bad in your life
- Shares how to grow spiritually and emotionally as an Adult
- Helps explore the sense of self in today’s society
My opinion about this book:
I loved how the author shared stories about the people he helped. He talked about their challenges and how they healed through communication and their faith. He made good connections to psychology, the Bible, and real life experiences which made it easier to understand how we can heal on our own and with God by our side.
Favorite Quotes:
“No healing can occur without forgiveness, for forgiveness binds us to the person who originally injured us. To break that hurtful tie, we must forgive the one who hurt us.” (Pg. 312)
“If you are in a rebuilding time where God has set you aside to heal you and develop you, give him time to do this. Don’t think you have to go save the world too quickly” (Pg. 302)
October 28, 2020
I was truly blessed by this book. The organisation of the chapters flow logically and seamlessly, and the categorisations of the various mental/emotional struggles we may have are clear and also purposely expounded on. These struggles are tied back to spiritual issues. I liked that the book was backed up with scriptural basis and perspectives. I feel that mental wellness is something that is so personal and important, and should be prioritised as part of our self-care. For those who have read "Boundaries", some chapters may overlap. In particular, I found that the chapters on "Bonding" and those related to adulthood truly spoke to me. Looking forward to reading more titles on this topic! :)
August 15, 2022
Highly recommend this as a companion to the book 'Changes That Heal'. It took me around two years to complete this workbook and I did different chapters depending on what situations I was facing in my life but it was perfect for what I was looking for -- a way to unpack, dig deeper into, and apply the information from the 'Changes That Heal' book. If you're looking for true change in your life, put in the work to go through this workbook. You'll forever be grateful that you invested that gift into yourself.
March 27, 2019
This is not a book I could read in big chunks, the book was packed with information I really needed to time to think about and then maybe apply to life. The book explained to me why some people act the way they do. I plan to donate this copy of the book to me local Public Library so that more people might benefit from Dr. Cloud's advice and guidance. The book was worth the time it took me to read it. I might seek out this author again in the future.
August 17, 2020
I was recommended this book after sharing with a small group about some of my personal struggles. The information was very similar to Henry Cloud’s “Boundaries” except it went more in depth about taking ownership of oneself and how to let go of whatever is hurting or holding oneself back.
I would read “Becoming an Adult” part again because it relates very closely with me taking responsibilities freely and independently.
I would read “Becoming an Adult” part again because it relates very closely with me taking responsibilities freely and independently.
March 28, 2023
This is perhaps the most inspiring book I have read. This book caused me to think quite deeply about many aspects of my life. But even more than that, this book — and the thinking it inspired — led to actual life change within me.
I don’t say this lightly, but this book has positively changed how I view myself, God, and others.
I cannot recommend this book enough!
(Recommended to me by Kate Grounds).
I don’t say this lightly, but this book has positively changed how I view myself, God, and others.
I cannot recommend this book enough!
(Recommended to me by Kate Grounds).
March 20, 2020
Every adult who struggles with mental health should read this book. The book is comprised of 4 main sections:
Bonding to others
Separating from others
Sorting out good and bad
Becoming and adult
Cloud draws some very insightful connections between the Bible and psychology and helps you apply them in real ways to your life.
Thank you, Henry Cloud, for sharing your insights.
Bonding to others
Separating from others
Sorting out good and bad
Becoming and adult
Cloud draws some very insightful connections between the Bible and psychology and helps you apply them in real ways to your life.
Thank you, Henry Cloud, for sharing your insights.
Read
January 4, 2020Not Cloud's most interesting work. Heavy on Scripture at the expense of holding attention and relatability at times. General concepts good but lacks the relatability and big insights revealed to me in Necessary Endings
January 11, 2020
Read in late 2019. I much needed the guidance in this book in dealing with some painful circumstances. Helped me see reality of the situation versus only the pain and perceived thoughts that were not truly reality.
February 7, 2019
spiritually engaging.
March 11, 2020
Oh so very Bible-y. But Dr. Cloud certainly knows his stuff, biblically and psychologically.
March 30, 2020
Useful for identifying issues one is struggling with. Could have done with a bit more practical ideas for overcoming some of them.
April 5, 2020
You'll go through this several times but it's totally worth it.
April 28, 2021
Meh, kind of like “Boundaries” but with a few other principles sprinkled in.
January 26, 2022
Cloud has sound instruction on how to live a life fulfilled.
Begin with the thought process.
Make changes
become all you are to be!
Begin with the thought process.
Make changes
become all you are to be!
March 7, 2022
This is a must read no matter what you are looking for. Amazing gift, thanks!
April 27, 2022
Learnt lots! Boundaries boundaries! Looking forwards to doing the study guide at the back
May 19, 2022
Really helpful, but really challenging
February 10, 2023
One of the best books I have ever read. I highly recommend the videos as well.
July 14, 2023
Enlightening!
November 20, 2023
Took a very long break and came back to it and don't really remember what I had thought about it before 🤷♀️
January 19, 2024
Phenomenal read
September 10, 2025
Definitely a RE-READ book!
August 27, 2018
Excellent book. Loved it!
June 4, 2013
This is an amazingly insightful look at what makes us "tick". It aims to explain why people experience various emotional and relational hangups, like relationship hopping, depression and anxiety, addictions and the like. Dr. Cloud believes that when a traumatic experience occurs in a person's life, that individual is developmentally "stuck" at the age when this event occurred. This hangup causes problems later in life as the individual finds that they are making reoccurring mistakes in relationships and in the lack of life success. Dr. Cloud proposes that four areas of development need to be achieved in order to reach proper emotional developing: Learning to Bond, Learning to Separate (setting boundaries), Learning to Accept Good and Bad, and Becoming an Adult (i.e. taking responsibility for oneself).
This book changed my life. At age 28, I found myself emotionally behaving like a 13-year-old. I was experiencing endless angst over friendships, intense emotions toward men, and a dislike for authority. It was through the teaching of this book that I was able to recognize being "stuck" at age 13 and, in examining my past, came to realize that during those formative teenage years my mother was ill and unavailable to me. I turned my attention to my boyfriend and decided to take my "growing up" into my own hands, thereby growing up too quickly. Because my mother was sick, I did not have a proper female role model to teach me how to relate to men properly and to work out all my teenage kinks.
Dr. Cloud explains that even though we cannot always go back to those relationships and fix them, God will use the relationship with other Christians to fill these voids. After praying for God to do this for me, He led me to a small group of friends where I learned to develop healthy and platonic relationships with men where I felt accepted and valued. He also gave me a female mentor to fill the "mother" role. Because of these relationships, I have been able to continue the emotional maturing process. My depression and anxiety are gone. My performance at work has dramatically increased to the point that I received a significant raise. I am not teaching a support group of women which is going through this book.
I cannot recommend this book enough. Regardless of your background, there are things to be learned. We all have healing to do and this book may very well be the beginning for you, as it was for me.
This book changed my life. At age 28, I found myself emotionally behaving like a 13-year-old. I was experiencing endless angst over friendships, intense emotions toward men, and a dislike for authority. It was through the teaching of this book that I was able to recognize being "stuck" at age 13 and, in examining my past, came to realize that during those formative teenage years my mother was ill and unavailable to me. I turned my attention to my boyfriend and decided to take my "growing up" into my own hands, thereby growing up too quickly. Because my mother was sick, I did not have a proper female role model to teach me how to relate to men properly and to work out all my teenage kinks.
Dr. Cloud explains that even though we cannot always go back to those relationships and fix them, God will use the relationship with other Christians to fill these voids. After praying for God to do this for me, He led me to a small group of friends where I learned to develop healthy and platonic relationships with men where I felt accepted and valued. He also gave me a female mentor to fill the "mother" role. Because of these relationships, I have been able to continue the emotional maturing process. My depression and anxiety are gone. My performance at work has dramatically increased to the point that I received a significant raise. I am not teaching a support group of women which is going through this book.
I cannot recommend this book enough. Regardless of your background, there are things to be learned. We all have healing to do and this book may very well be the beginning for you, as it was for me.
Read
September 23, 2013I think this is a MUST READ book for everyone. I am greatly impressed by the depth at which Dr Henry is able to address complex matters of the heart, and present it in such simple, clear but impeccably direct way. The process of reading this book is a healing process for me.
I grew up with imperfect childhood, where bonding or relationship was neither encouraged nor discussed. I also did not know this is even a problem until I reached a state in my life where I was supposedly having a great career, but really unhappy. And the worst part is that I seemed to be self-sabotaging and isolating myself. I did not like myself very much and suffered self-condemnation, inferior complex, insecurity, low-esteem, which makes me only want to run away from the very people I love the most. I suffered from lack of self-control, anger, emptiness, fear, depression that I desperately tried to hide from friends and family for fear of judgement. I also had a distorted mindset where I work ferverantly to be as perfect as possible. I used to live in the motto "Everything is possible, I can achieve anything I want that I put my mind to". This might not be too big a problem until I started to experience disappointment after disappointment, I became scare, confused, fearful. Life wasn't what I expected it to be, or working out as planned. I think of myself as a truly bad person, selfish, unworthy, useless, failure... and the list goes on.
Understanding the boundary, limit, and the imperfect reality from this book, I started to gain a better perspective of the problems I had experienced might not be because I was not good enough. Knowing that ideal and reality are different, I feel more relaxed as if I can finally remove some of the load I've carried for long time. While I am still learning from the teachings of this book, I really appreciate Dr Henry for writing and teaching people like myself to re-think and re-learn about life, and how God loves us. I wished I had been introduced to this book earlier..
I grew up with imperfect childhood, where bonding or relationship was neither encouraged nor discussed. I also did not know this is even a problem until I reached a state in my life where I was supposedly having a great career, but really unhappy. And the worst part is that I seemed to be self-sabotaging and isolating myself. I did not like myself very much and suffered self-condemnation, inferior complex, insecurity, low-esteem, which makes me only want to run away from the very people I love the most. I suffered from lack of self-control, anger, emptiness, fear, depression that I desperately tried to hide from friends and family for fear of judgement. I also had a distorted mindset where I work ferverantly to be as perfect as possible. I used to live in the motto "Everything is possible, I can achieve anything I want that I put my mind to". This might not be too big a problem until I started to experience disappointment after disappointment, I became scare, confused, fearful. Life wasn't what I expected it to be, or working out as planned. I think of myself as a truly bad person, selfish, unworthy, useless, failure... and the list goes on.
Understanding the boundary, limit, and the imperfect reality from this book, I started to gain a better perspective of the problems I had experienced might not be because I was not good enough. Knowing that ideal and reality are different, I feel more relaxed as if I can finally remove some of the load I've carried for long time. While I am still learning from the teachings of this book, I really appreciate Dr Henry for writing and teaching people like myself to re-think and re-learn about life, and how God loves us. I wished I had been introduced to this book earlier..
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews