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A Burdizzo for a Prince
Burdizzo (n.) a surgical instrument used to castrate animals
So what happens when a hitman becomes a hunted man?
Ask J.J. - he’s on the run after handing out some bloody, but poetic justice to the son of his former boss Pa Kapala, the head of an infamous Jersey crime family.
Now J.J. is being pursued by his former colleagues who’ve been told to use extreme prejudice to settle the score.
There’s one slight wrinkle in Pa Kapala’s plan though - J.J. has absolutely no intention of going down without a fight.
“Superb, a totally unique revenge road movie in three parts…”
“Violent, irreverent and so, so funny, Burdizzo For A Prince is one you won’t want to miss.”
“Worth buying for the chapter titles alone... hilarious.”
“Mark Rapacz has written a clever, pacy, violent and funny book that grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go till the final page.”
So what happens when a hitman becomes a hunted man?
Ask J.J. - he’s on the run after handing out some bloody, but poetic justice to the son of his former boss Pa Kapala, the head of an infamous Jersey crime family.
Now J.J. is being pursued by his former colleagues who’ve been told to use extreme prejudice to settle the score.
There’s one slight wrinkle in Pa Kapala’s plan though - J.J. has absolutely no intention of going down without a fight.
“Superb, a totally unique revenge road movie in three parts…”
“Violent, irreverent and so, so funny, Burdizzo For A Prince is one you won’t want to miss.”
“Worth buying for the chapter titles alone... hilarious.”
“Mark Rapacz has written a clever, pacy, violent and funny book that grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go till the final page.”
332 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 1, 2017
2 people are currently reading
3 people want to read
About the author
Mark Rapacz
22 books10 followersMark Rapacz’s stories have appeared in a number of publications, including Plots with Guns, Revolver, Thuglit, Pulp Modern, Water-Stone Review, East Bay Review, Hawai’i Review, Martian Lit and The Best American Nonrequired Reading. His latest crime novel, A Burdizzo for a Prince, is out now from Fahrenheit Press. He and his wife live in Minneapolis where he continues to write stories.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
February 27, 2019
This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
---
J. J. was having a perfectly okay day--he was out getting some supplies for the week, walking around the small Midwestern town he was calling home, when his childhood best friend arrives without pomp or circumstance. This was not a happy reunion--the reason they hadn't seen each other for years because J.J. was on the run from the Jersey crime family they both worked and killed for; and Jackie's presence meant that J.J.'s hiding spot was blown and that Jackie had been sent to kill him. So much for that good day.
Not really a spoiler: Jackie doesn't kill him, or the book would've been much shorter than it is. Instead, he aligns himself with his old friend and partner to survive. Almost immediately, it becomes clear that their former boss has expected Jackie to not follow through on things and sent in a ringer to clean up. It's not long at all before J.J. has to abandon the home he'd made for himself, the life he was on the verge of building and a woman he might love (or not like terribly much--it's one of those things), to voyage down the Mississippi with Jackie and a couple of allies.
Shortly after that, this stops being a story about a couple of hitmen trying to retire and becomes a tale of vengeance and blood. Lots of blood.
Rapacz has a dynamite style -- it's slick, it's fast, it's full of black humor. And despite some distaste I had for J.J. and his personal life and vocabulary, I really got into it. As Jules Winnfield reminds us, "Personality goes a long way," and this novel has personality by the bucket.
Somewhere along the trek down the The Big Muddy, I think you can argue that Rapacz let his style run away with him and parts of the book become too much. At the same time, some of the best moments of the novel -- not just stylistically, but plot and character-wise, are in the middle of this excess. So what do I know?
I didn't end up liking it as much as I started off liking it -- and that might be me, it might be Rapacz, maybe a bit of both. There were some real surprises, some moments of head scratching, and some great tension -- and a fight scene or two that will burn themselves into your mind's eye for at least a week. Which, given the fact that the title is about a castration device, is about what you should expect, right?
A Burdizzo For A Prince might not be your cup of tea -- or you'll love it -- but you won't forget this anytime soon.
---
"Spit it out," I said. I was hoping for an apology, or something. Not every day your best friend is pretty sure he wasn’t going to kill you, which means he was equally as sure he was going to--I think. Semantics were never my strong suit, but when speaking the language of death, these things matter.
J. J. was having a perfectly okay day--he was out getting some supplies for the week, walking around the small Midwestern town he was calling home, when his childhood best friend arrives without pomp or circumstance. This was not a happy reunion--the reason they hadn't seen each other for years because J.J. was on the run from the Jersey crime family they both worked and killed for; and Jackie's presence meant that J.J.'s hiding spot was blown and that Jackie had been sent to kill him. So much for that good day.
Not really a spoiler: Jackie doesn't kill him, or the book would've been much shorter than it is. Instead, he aligns himself with his old friend and partner to survive. Almost immediately, it becomes clear that their former boss has expected Jackie to not follow through on things and sent in a ringer to clean up. It's not long at all before J.J. has to abandon the home he'd made for himself, the life he was on the verge of building and a woman he might love (or not like terribly much--it's one of those things), to voyage down the Mississippi with Jackie and a couple of allies.
Shortly after that, this stops being a story about a couple of hitmen trying to retire and becomes a tale of vengeance and blood. Lots of blood.
Rapacz has a dynamite style -- it's slick, it's fast, it's full of black humor. And despite some distaste I had for J.J. and his personal life and vocabulary, I really got into it. As Jules Winnfield reminds us, "Personality goes a long way," and this novel has personality by the bucket.
Somewhere along the trek down the The Big Muddy, I think you can argue that Rapacz let his style run away with him and parts of the book become too much. At the same time, some of the best moments of the novel -- not just stylistically, but plot and character-wise, are in the middle of this excess. So what do I know?
I didn't end up liking it as much as I started off liking it -- and that might be me, it might be Rapacz, maybe a bit of both. There were some real surprises, some moments of head scratching, and some great tension -- and a fight scene or two that will burn themselves into your mind's eye for at least a week. Which, given the fact that the title is about a castration device, is about what you should expect, right?
A Burdizzo For A Prince might not be your cup of tea -- or you'll love it -- but you won't forget this anytime soon.
September 12, 2020
The Odyssey meets William Burroughs meets Quentin Tarantino in this over-the-top road trip novel about a couple of hit men on the run in America's upper Midwest. To say Burdizzo doesn't take itself seriously is an understatement. It's a laugh-out-loud send-up of the hard-boiled crime genre as the protagonist, J.J., and his best bud/fellow hit man Jackie run for their lives from the Jersey crime family that raised them and now wants them dead. Maybe. It doesn't really matter. Neither they nor the rough assemblage of seedy characters they meet on the run are sympathetic, to put it mildly, so why read it? Rapacz' writing, which is equal parts silly, erudite, crude, blasphemous, violent, and nearly always funny. For a taste, consider some of his Buzzfeed-inspired chapter titles: "Guess which Midwestern hellhole I'm stuck in so my machete-loving friends won't find me," "I tried to go straight for a few minutes and here's what happened," "Somebody stuffed a body in a suitcase and it was beautiful." Rapacz clearly is not a fan of much of what passes for 21st-century American culture (smartphones, the internet, Buzzfeed, endless war, small towns, suburbia, they all take a beating), another big plus that kept me turning/swiping pages. I like a writer who lets it all hang out, even when it's butt-ugly. I'm going to read more by Mark Rapacz.
January 7, 2025
Fast and stream of consciousness almost, with tangents galore, Rapacz kept me turning pages, even though I knew disaster was on the horizon, or maybe because of it I should say. Either way, go forth, seek out, purchase and enjoy. Fun was had!
April 15, 2020
A surreal book for surreal times. Besides an amazing vocabulary, he has a way of expressing beauty of language. I enjoy the way he creates an entire chapter just on a way we create scenarios in our minds. You'll ask yourself often, "Do people really think this way?" This author had me at "Boondoggle". Now I'm craving krokowska.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews