Wrestling with God: Finding Hope and Meaning in Our Daily Struggles to Be Human

by Ronald Rolheiser

The bestselling author of The Holy Longing provides an inspiring message of hope and perseverance for all of us struggling with our faith in tumultuous times   The last few decades have rapidly birthed a modern world that would have been unrecognizable fifty years ago. As long-held beliefs on love, faith, and God are challenged by the aggregate of changes that have overhauled our world, many of us are left feeling confused and uncertain while old norms are challenged and redefined at breakneck speed.In Wrestling with God, Ronald Rolheiser offers a steady and inspiring voice to help us avow and understand our faith in a world where nothing seems solid or permanent. Drawing from his own life experience, as well as a storehouse of literary, psychological, and theological insights, the beloved author of Sacred Fire examines the fears and doubts that challenge us. It is in these struggles to find meaning, that Rolheiser lays out a path for faith in a world struggling to find faith, but perhaps more important, he helps us find our own rhythm within which to walk that path.

Genres: Faith, Spirituality, Theology, Christian, Nonfiction, Catholic, Audiobook

210 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 15, 2018

About the author

OMI

Reviews

[Jacob Follent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Top quality. Encouraging, insightful & beneficial for anyone dissatisfied with the worlds (or churches) shallow answers on what living is.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spiritual and Theological Insights

Religious books I choose tend to be theological rather than devotional; this one brings a theological perspective and deep devotional insights. As ecumenical as I tend to be, I still spend most of my time in a mainline protestant bubble and hadn't previously known about Ronald Rolheiser. However, the endorsements he'd received from people I'd long been aware of convinced me Wrestling with God would be a good choice.

"Wrestling with God" clearly references the struggles of Jacob/Israel chronicled in Genesis 32 (p. 131; p. 166; on p.168, "...they can grasp Jacob's ladder (as the connection between earth and heaven) there (in the church building or structure))"; furthermore, the book opens with a quote from The Last Temptation of Christ by Nikol Kazantzakis and on p. 129 in my ARC Rolheiser expands on the concept with more Kazanatzakis, this time from his Report to Greco, with a monk's explaining he no longer wrestles with the devil because, "I have grown old now, and [the devil] doesn't have the strength ... I wrestle with God."

Chapter titles 1 through 7 each begin with the word "Wrestling ... with Self-Understanding – with Our Erotic Energies – with Fear – with Faith and Doubt ..." and other adversarial concerns most thoughtful people have—at least now and then. I particularly appreciate the author's reminding us of the difference between charity and justice in chapter 4, Wrestling with the Gospel Mandate to Reach Out to the Poor. Regarding many individual's struggles with Faith and Doubt, chapter 5 reminds us atheists and religious/spiritual nones – approximately 30% of the population of the USA and Canada – are very correct in rejecting the simplicity and nonsense of too much conventional belief that's little more than silly superstition. P. 118, "Atheism is a parasite that feeds on bad religion."

In chapter 7, Wresting for Faith Within a Complex Culture, an incident of a trusting parent during the 1950s pinning a medal of St. Thérèse of Lisieux on her son to trust him into healing [pp. 162-163] illustrates a relatively unsophisticated "porous" personality rather than one that's been shaped and "buffered" by contemporary culture. We can't return to any dimension of where we used to be, yet most of us need to claim aspects of a lifestyle that's more open and porous than we typically trust ourselves with.

It's impossible to highlight all the authors and scriptures that enrich and provide substance to this book of fewer than 200 pages. Ronald Rolheiser is a highly ecumenical professed religious Roman Catholic priest who writes from a long lifetime of being reshaped and refined by ... wrestlings. Although he necessarily write from a Christian viewpoint, by reading this book persons of any Christian tradition and from almost any religious persuasion – and those who claim none – could increase their understanding. Several times during my reading I recalled Jewel Kilcher's exquisite song, Absence of Fear, from her Spirit album; Jewel's words describe our need to encounter and know God's reality and presence:

"...I make myself translucent To let you in, for I am wanting And I am needing of you here Inside the absence of fear

There is this hunger This restlessness inside of me And it knows that you're no stranger You're my gravity"

Wrestling with God is an excellent overview of ways we can encounter and know the reality and presence of God at various stages of our chronological and spiritual journeys. I'd love to pass it along to some of my friends who claim to be atheists or nones, but would they read it?

[Lee Kuiper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read two other books by Rolheiser (and having subscribed to his bi-weekly reflections for the last few years which I also highly recommend) I found this book to contain a lot of his previously discussed ideas, only slightly rehashed. That being said, his content is always good and this is the most readable book of his I've encountered.

It's not as broad as The Holy Longing or Against an Infinite Horizon but still covers a fair amount of ground in a very small amount of time. Many of chapters were not explicitly about "wrestling" with God and faith but the chapters that did so (5 and 6) were by far the best (and freshest) sections of the book.

If you have never read any books by Ronald Rolheiser or are interested in the idea of faithfulness amid the struggle to believe then I highly recommend this book. In fact, even if you've read a few of his other books I still recommend reading chapters five and six. Good stuff.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the 3rd book I have read by Fr. Rohlheiser and I found it valuable for my personal growth. The one thing I would be aware of when reading is to have a guide or a group to read the book with. In this way you can get more out of it by questioning one another on what Rolheiser is trying to get across. What I think the author is trying to do is give us a look at what a relationship with God is like which is absolute love. The final example God gives us is the love he shows by sacrificing his son on the cross. The absolute love to give up your son to express how much God loves you.

[Andrew Goode · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so humanizing, and I loved it.

[Michelle Kidwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wrestling with God
Finding Hope and Meaning in Our Daily Struggles to Be Human
by Ronald Rolheiser
Crown Publishing

Image
Christian
Pub Date 15 May 2018


I am reviewing a copy of Wrestling With God through Crown Publishing and Netgalley:


The past few decades have birthed a modern world that would have not been recognizable just five decades ago! Long held beliefs on love, faith and God are being challenged in ways that leave us confused and uncertain about old norms.

Ronald Rolheiser offers an inspiring voice that helps us avow and understand our faith in a world that seems solid and permanent. Drawing from his life experience as well as a storehouse of literary and psychological and theological insights.


I give Wrestling With God five out of five stars!


Happy Reading!

[Nick Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

3-4 stars. As with Richard Rohr, I always find deeply helpful pieces and insights in Rolheiser’s work. And I continually think both authors could go deeper if they were more specifically Christian than they are able to by removing specificity in spirituality. With books like this I will always prefer depth over width, and I think that depth comes when authors go deep in their own traditions, which they know best, no matter how much they’ve read and experienced outside it.

[Sarah Westfall · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I think I appreciate most about this book is how questions of faith are held gently, without finger-wagging or five-point plans. Rather, Rolheiser allows nuance to
linger while also tenderly coming alongside us to draw attention to where faith and God might be already in our midst. I copied down a lot of quotes. I still have a few questions I wish I could ask him personally, but overall, a rich read.

[Brennan Uhyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the writing, concrete everyday examples and the insight provided on Spirituality and Theology. He has a depth to how he explains the connection between humans and God but speaks in a tone that is comforting and reassuring. Loved the read and was sad to finish the book, wished it could of kept going. 🙂

[Catherine Dwyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

i would give this 4.5 but that’s not an option. the hard questions that i think we all have to some degree are tackled head on and the author does a fantastic job at stating things how they are, no bs or sugarcoating, which i appreciated.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Few books will make an attempt to define the soul, but Rolheiser charges into this one right from the start as a double principle of energy and integration that can be either petrified or dissipated. This inner tension is the heart of our restlessness, and Rolheiser uses the rest of the book to help us nurture a healthy, creative tension with our inner life for the sake of a generous life.

From there he tackles our "erotic energies", fear, justice, and doubt. You get the feeling that he wrote columns on these subjects and then created the book by adding "wrestling with" in front of each subject. There is some repetition from his articles and books here. Regardless, he writes in a way that addresses the anxieties of modern human life without getting too detailed with theological jargon or cluttered with Biblical texts (although some of us would have enjoyed those details!) His writing is very inviting and as a Canadian, Rolheiser lacks the polemics that usually come with American writers.

Some things will be touchy with more conservative readers. He uses the phrase "our pagan brothers and sisters" (42) and sometimes lumps the Muslim faith in with Christian references, which is generous but also confusing and potentially presumptive.

I like how in the chapters on fear and doubt he emphasizes that God appreciates our full humanity--both our faith and our doubts, fears, resistance, and anger. This vulnerability, he says, is the stuff of a deep friendship, which is our goal with God. He writes:

“We must trust that God understands our humanity… God can handle our anger, self-pity, and resistance… as I’ve aged, I’ve come to realize that being with God… is like being with a trusted friend… God wants us, with all of our wandering weaknesses, to be human in his presence, with ease, with comfort, and with the feeling that we are home…” And later in life, we can become “intimate enough with God to precisely be ‘bold,’ as friends who have known each other for a long time have a right to be.”

He addresses the "religious nones" at one point, which is important in this day and age. He is very gracious for the most part, saying that our "spirit and conscience" is also a church. But he doesn't mince words when he says "the belief that we are self-sufficient is still a dangerous illusion and a crippling immaturity... To think of ourselves as self-sufficient is naive, an illusion, a choice to live under a pall of enchantment. We are not in control" (163). This hits self-satisfied humanism head on.

His chapter on sex is also both gracious and firm. Sexuality is more than intercourse for Rolheiser, and he's been saying this for decades--we are all sensual creatures. But he is deeply concerned that the sexual bond has been severed in just the last 100 years from procreation, marriage, and now with "hook up" trends, from love, emotion, and commitment. "Its just plain wrong," he writes. "Its also naive... don't be naive about sexual energy. It isn't always as friendly and inconsequential as you think."

"Sexuality is sacred fire," he urges, but not the salvation our world promises it will be. We need to integrate our spirituality with our sexuality, and churches need to be "more empathic and pastorally sensitive" to people's sexual issues. Sexuality and spirituality are about intimacy, connection, entering into something larger than yourself, and that puts sex close to the heart of worship, theology, and ethics. The secular world includes a deep recognition that the environment is something that desperately needs intimate attention, care and respect. The fruitfulness and shalom of our sexual lives deserves the same stewardship, while recognizing we will all be incomplete this side of heaven.

Rolheiser is a spiritual director for our times. This book makes for good evening reading, offering perspective, a chance to reassess our lives, and bring our fears, doubts, sexuality, anger, and questions to God. One small reference to Mary as our "goddess of chastity" aside, there is much for a Canadian Protestant to identify with and appreciate in Rolheiser's works.

[The Curious Spoonie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although the title Wrestling With God is a clear reference to Jacob’s struggles in Genesis 32, Father Rolheiser uses this phrase as a much broader metaphor to describe what it really means to be a human walking the path of faith. Although, at first glance, this title might appear to be describing conflict between God and follower, in reassuring words Rolheiser explains how “wrestling” with faith is not as much a battle to be fought and won but the very necessary steps of faith that the Heavenly Father has lovingly and laid out for each of us.

Although it can be easier for some to view the weakening or even loss of faith as the sinful failing of a uncommitted believer, Father Rolheiser instead suggests that the daily challenges we face in following God are not just understandable but are an intentional part of His plan. He suggests that, instead of seeing the things in life that might compete with God for our attention as distractions to be denied, they should actually be seen as gifts that He has created - that the response He wants from us is not the total avoidance of these gifts but the understanding of how to experience them while reconciling them with His will. In this manner of “both/and”, Rolheiser encourages us to accept the restlessness inside us as our Father’s creation and, in doing so, to see the full abundance and joy of God.

Although Father Rolheiser is a Catholic priest, Wrestling With God was clearly written for any believer who is hoping to create or increase their connection to God. I believe this book would be accessible to almost every Christian and, as the author states himself, even to those outside the faith. I can see how some might find his inclusion of non-Christians as believers in God upsetting but I see this depiction as encouragement for all of us to see His love and work in others. Rolheiser is also a theologian and, although this is clearly indicated in his writing, the theology lessons here are simplified and more than approachable for most readers.

I assume like most readers who picked up this book, I was curious to see how what I found inside would relate to my own faith. Hoping for something resounding to leap of the page and propel me forward on my own personal path I soon understood that Rolheiser’s message is a more direct and gentle one. Some of his thoughts were easily recognizable from my own journey and were less epiphany and more encouraging validation. Others were thought provoking and felt like steps of faith yet to be experienced but still connected to His word.

I would describe this book as one that truly focuses on the human experience of faith. Rolheiser’s message here is less interested in our actions as believers and more in the continuous grace that the Heavenly Father gives us each and every day. Because of this, I suspect that Father Rolheiser’s writing would be an encouragement to those fearful of faith or who are struggling with what might feel like religious rigidity. It is easy to get caught up in our daily “wrestling” with God and to forget to step back and see His goodness. This book reminds us that it is there.

God is good.

[Olga · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wise book about faith that refuses easy answers.

Summary
In Wrestling with God, theologian and priest Ronald Rolheiser explores what it actually means to live with faith in a complicated modern world. Drawing on Scripture, theology, psychology, literature, and personal insight, Rolheiser reflects on the many “wrestlings” that shape a spiritual life: wrestling with self-understanding, with doubt, with fear, with our desires, with justice, and with the difficult demands of the Gospel. The title echoes Jacob’s struggle with God in Genesis - a reminder that faith is rarely neat or comfortable. Instead, it is something we grapple with throughout our lives.

What worked for me
What I appreciated most about this book is its honesty. Rolheiser doesn’t pretend that faith is simple or that believers glide through life with tidy certainty. Instead, he acknowledges the tensions many people feel - between faith and doubt, between spiritual longing and modern skepticism, between the Gospel’s radical demands and our ordinary human limitations. His reflections are thoughtful but also very readable, weaving together theology with everyday human experience. I also appreciated how widely he draws from different sources: Scripture, literature, music, philosophy, and pastoral experience. It creates a sense that faith is not confined to church walls but something alive in culture, art, and the human struggle itself. There are passages that genuinely invite reflection - sentences that make you pause and sit with them for a while.

What didn’t quite land
My main critique is that the book often feels intentionally broad and ecumenical rather than clearly rooted in a distinctly Catholic framework. While I understand the desire to speak to a wider audience, for me this sometimes made the reflections feel slightly less anchored. As someone who appreciates explicitly Catholic theology and spiritual tradition, I found myself wishing the book leaned more confidently into that richness instead of softening it for a broader readership. It occasionally gave the sense of holding back just a little where stronger theological conviction might have added depth.

Final verdict
Ultimately, Wrestling with God is less about providing answers and more about giving language to the spiritual tensions most people experience but rarely articulate. It’s a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of what it means to seek God in a complex world. Even when I wished it had been more explicitly Catholic in its voice, I still found much wisdom in its pages.

A reflective book about the lifelong struggle of faith.

[Izzy Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

A refreshing and approachable read for those struggling with their faith and relationship with God. Although written by a Catholic priest, this book can be read by universal audience. A lot of the points written reminded me of my own dwellings with the traditional Javanese belief system and teachings of Sufism — proving it can be read by anyone from any background.

Wrestling With God is enjoyable read for anyone who looks to renew their faith and find inner peace before setting on a furher quest to find God. Further, it touches on the compassionate relationship between God and man in the age where divisive, and less than understanding sermon often has more platform than they should.

The book provides a relatable reflection on man’s relationship with God, how human should be charitable and just, and most interestingly: how human should not feel burdened by His omnipresence, nor should they feel insufficient when they cannot fulfill religious responsibilities such as praying — rather embrace Him as a friend and companion who understands what you are going through and what you are experiencing, and come back when they are ready.

Ronald Rolheiser eloquently takes daily occurences and takes readers to dive deeper into spiritualy and theology without sounding patronizing, while offering practical solution and tangible application to strengthen one’s faith and relationship with God, without lacking depth that makes his writing substantial. An excellent reading experience.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oscar Wilde, known for his turn of phrase, has the last words of this book:
"Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it's not fine it's not the end". What a way to end a book!
Life isn't fine. At times, it's downright difficult. At others, it's simply fantastic. Wrestling with God is an apt image and title for this book. At some intervals of life our wrestle is playful, at others it is tears and sweat. Rolheiser navigates a passage through various wrestles: with self understanding, with our erotic energies, with fear, with faith and doubt, with the Gospel mandate to reach out to the poor, with God. He concludes with some guidelines for the long haul. There are many fine moments in this book. I was particularly enriched by his treatment of faith and culture and three main ways to look at it. As usual, he draws deeply on the theological and spiritual tradition. He includes his own personal experience and adds in illustrative pieces from music, film, drama and literature. A worthwhile read of mature reflections.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the privilege of being on retreat with Father Ron this past fall so I bought several of his books while there. As I do every Lent, I chose this book as part of my Lenten journey. Within weeks, our county was ordered to shelter in place so I have had lots of time for reading and reflection. This book looks into the various ways we wrestle with God, how we struggle to keep our faith as we grapple with issues of acedia, fear, sexuality, divisiveness, and secularity, among others. Father Ron explores these heavy themes with his usual compassion and wit and shares personal stories along with Scripture. It felt appropriate given our current situation and was a good book to have in a difficult time.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow - just wow! Ron Rolheiser is one of the greatest theologians of our time. His writing is beautiful and understandable. He is a man in love with his faith and helps us see a glimpse of what he is experiencing. His joy is palpable and contagious - I found myself smiling through the passages as well as identifying with a struggle and understanding where God is in that struggle. Very often, I would read a sentence or a paragraph and sit with it all day - I could go no further as the box of endless possibilities opened up. This book is a perfect study group or bookclub choice and even has a study guide in the back. I definitely will read this book again - and all his others. What a fantastic writer!

[Mike]

Instead of writing a review, I’d rather tell a story. I was super fortunate to meet Father Ron earlier this year. We bumped into each other and had a moment to ourselves. Listen, this guy is operating at a super high level of thinking, pondering the really big questions – and I have little or nothing to offer. So instead of asking him a deep, theological question, I asked him the most Canadian thing of all (I’d learned earlier that day that he was born and raised in Canada): Father Ron, where were you for the ’72 Summit Series?

He lite up. Finally, he’d found someone at this conference who spoke the most important language of all: hockey.

[Sylvia Jeronimo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title at first seems like a misnomer though the subtitle is right on point. We all struggle to be human. Mostly because we don’t really know what it’s like to be truly human. Rolheiser subtly weaves the frailty of our doubts and wonderings with the strong foundation of God. Ultimately, our struggle is not with flesh and blood, though we often shed tears and sweat blood, stone each other and name names. No, our wrestling is against God and until we surrender to his ways, we tire ourselves out for nothing. Of note is Rolheiser’s study on metanóia and paranoia. Most excellent.

[Pat Rea · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Nobody will get to heaven without a reference from the poor” is one of the many quotes from Rolheiser ‘s latest book.

As usual his words resonates with my soul. He draws from scriptures, life , literature, music and his own wisdom and that of other figures that he shares with his audience. His range of insights adds something for everyone. I would recommend any of his books especially this one.

[Kelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

As he always does, Fr. Ron Rolheiser offers much insight and wisdom about life and faith. I highly recommend this book.

"God did not build this world as a moral testing ground, where our obedience and piety are to be tested against the lure of earthly pleasure, to see if we're worthy of heaven...It's a place for all of us...to enjoy a home together."
"The world is meant to take our breath away, even as we genuflect to the author of that breath."

[Roelof Nel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyday everywhere struggles

A great read, it was not what I expected from the title, but it was what I longed for. Rolheiser brings our everyday struggles with God to the fore and then grounds them in a healthy wholesome spirituality. A popular style that reads easily (couldn't put it down, so beware your schedule). Recommended for saints, sceptics and the rest of us.

[Michelle (michellereadsandspins) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ronald Rolheiser, thank you. This was the perfect book for where I am in my life right now!

“Only after the cross is our joy genuine. Only after the cross will our exuberance express the genuine delight we once felt when we were little, and only then will our exuberance truly radiate the energy of God”

[Anda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book! I’m not catholic but have the upmost respect for this author. He understands the body of Christ. Different and broken, we all strive to understand our Creator and live as Christ. Wrestling with God. The title explains the context. I don’t have words to give a great review, but highly recommend this book for any and every Christian at a stand still in their walk.

[Alva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful and instructional

Wrestling with God requires to be read and reread. The practical wisdom offered is timeless and helpful to adults of all ages. Imagine even when we are "cursing" God, we are still praying. Thank you for writing.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mature realistic hopeful spirituality

This is a fine book, well written, deeply thoughtful. I found it speaking to me directly in my own struggles with God and making sense of my life before God. I want to read more Ronald Rolheiser.

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book will get you thinkng

The ideas discusses are personal but I felt like I have felt the same way. Deep theological ideas and great insights that I enjoyed reading from start to finish

[Blanche · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hoopla audio book. This is a book that you need to stop and ponder before proceeding to the next chapter. Much to consider and revisit again. Father Ron is an excellent writer and one I will follow in the future

[Steven Busch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very.enlightening

I liked the way Ron brought the deeply spiritual explanation of the Gospels and Jesus life and teachings into practical explanations for living and teaching them in today's world and society.

[Bob Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book on finding hope from a mature spirituality.