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The End of Old Age: Living a Longer, More Purposeful Life
The acclaimed author of How We Age, whose "descriptive powers are a gift to readers" (Sherwin Nuland), presents a hopeful and practical model of aging -- a guide to understanding how we can all make the journey better. As one of America's leading geriatric psychiatrists, Dr. Marc Agronin sees both the sickest and the healthiest of seniors. He observes what works to make their lives better and more purposeful and what doesn't. Many authors can talk about aging from their particular vantage points, but Dr. Agronin is on the front lines as he counsels and treats elderly individuals and their loved ones on a daily basis. The latest scientific research and Dr. Agronin's first-hand experience are brilliantly distilled in The End of Old Age -- a call to no longer see aging as an implacable enemy and to start seeing it as a developmental force for enhancing well-being, meaning, and longevity. Throughout The End of Old Age, the focus is squarely on "So what does this mean for me and my family?" In the final part of the book, Dr. Agronin provides simple but revealing charts that you can fill out to identify, develop, and optimize your unique age-given strengths. It's nothing short of an action plan to help you age better by improving how you value the aging process, guide yourself through stress, and find ways to creatively address change for the best possible experience and outcome.
222 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 8, 2025
72 people are currently reading
288 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
August 12, 2019
This book I think is written more for people who are fearing growing old. I'm not thrilled with aging and have been making physical and emotional adjustments, but I think I have a more philosophical attitude towards it and have already established most of the important things necessary for aging "gracefully," i.e. keeping a positive attitude, keeping physically healthy, maintaining close relationships, and keeping my mind active and having purpose. Agronin covers a lot of territory and uses many different examples of people in the aging process.
October 22, 2023
Excellent information and go-dos.
April 25, 2018
Before I retired, I was reading books about preparing for retirement. Now that I'm retired, I'm reading books about preparing for old age. It's a challenging subject, given that there is longevity in my family and my currently 98 year old mother has dementia. This book addresses how people in the 9th stage, including dementia, can actively participate in life. I don't think that it's realistic for people with dementia to actively participate in life, but the author knows a lot more about this than me, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. I've underlined that which I think is especially meaningful in the book, and I'll review my underlining every few years to see how valuable this book is.
April 3, 2021
Takeaways:
Typical assumptions about aging have an unconscious but significant influence on how people actually age.
The stereotype embodiment theory describes how people internalize stereotypes about aging.
The brain has many adaptive attributes.
Aging offers five core strengths that correlate to older people’s roles as “savant, sage, curator, creator and seer.”
An “age point” occurs when life changes.
“Geropause” is the stagnation that often occurs in response to an age point.
Purpose is pivotal to life satisfaction, which remains true at the end of life.
Your “age culture” provides references for continuing to thrive by leading a meaningful life.
“Re-aging” is a five-step process of coming to value the aging process and its creative potential: Affirm your wisdom, identify your resilience, create an action plan, consider your legacy and celebrate your life.
Summary:
Typical assumptions about aging have an unconscious but significant influence on how people actually age.
Science has no known cure for aging, and examples of longevity can defy explanation. Long-lived elders usually experience a combination of regular physical exercise; close communities and families; and diets focusing largely on fruits, vegetables and healthy oils. Their vigor and activity keep them engaged.
Aging brings wisdom that is essential to the unity and progress of both the spirit and the community, and one forsakes it at his or her own peril.
Many people argue against prolonging old age. Some make the moral argument that space is necessary for the next generation. Others point to the pain and discomfort of old age. Medical ethicist Ezekiel Emanuel wrote passionately in his article “Why I Hope to Die at 75” about the personal limitations of old age. He explained that “living too long is also a loss” because it concludes a vibrant life with a focus on pain. He proposes refusing medical treatment. With many in the 85-and-older population suffering from neurocognitive disorders, Emanuel’s repulsion for old age seems logical to many observers.
The stereotype embodiment theory describes how people internalize stereotypes about aging.
Psychologist Becca Levy’s stereotype embodiment theory describes how people internalize oversimplified images of aging. Such stereotypes have a pernicious, unconscious but significant influence on how people age. Psychologist Laura Carstensen’s socioemotional selectivity theory views aging as a response to seeing death approach. As life becomes more important, people often choose to participate in emotionally meaningful activities and relationships.
All the knowledge, experience, maturity, perspective, balance and wisdom bequeathed by age…enable you to look back with such keen vision on your life.
Famed psychologist Erik Erikson presented eight stages of life, of which old age constituted only one. In his lexicon, tension defined the eighth stage, as people struggled to reflect with pride on lives well-lived but also experienced anxiety about everything they failed to accomplish. Eventually, Erikson and his wife, Joan, added a ninth stage that describes a period of enfeeblement, frailty, doubt and insecurity.
The brain has many adaptive attributes.
If life is measured in terms of physical ability, then age appears as a downward spiral. MRIs indicate a steady reduction of brain tissue beginning in early middle age and accelerating after age 60.
A geropause refers to a downward shift or even a moratorium on pursuing and developing new interests, skills, relationships, roles or life circumstances.
Age makes distractions more difficult to manage, and that leads people to choose more carefully where to put their attention. This narrowing is a natural response to an influx of information. It enhances “fluid intelligence,” the skills that relate to reasoning, solving problems and recognizing patterns.
The brain is capable of adapting in many ways. “Brain reserve” describes the “number, density and connectivity of neurons” that contribute to the intelligence, skills and experiences people use to support normal functioning even as the brain goes through age-related losses. The scaffolding theory of aging and cognition (STAC) developed by cognitive scientists Denise Park and Patricia
Reuter-Lorenz describes how older brains develop additional neural networks to complete assignments. Young people may do the same tasks using smaller areas of their brains, but that doesn’t mean they are doing a better job.
Compensation-related utilization of neural circuits (CRUNCH) describes how older brains send work to other parts of the brain in order to fulfill demanding tasks. Older people use both sides of their brain to complete tasks, an attribute called hemispheric asymmetry reduction in older adults (HAROLD).
Aging offers five core strengths that correlate to older people’s roles as “savant, sage, curator, creator and seer.”
Aging offers five core strengths: “knowledge, judgment, empathy, creativity and insight” that correlate to five roles older people may fill:
Savant – People who fulfill this role teach others on the basis of their lifetime of knowledge.
Sage – Those in this role use their wisdom to deliberate and offer judgment on complicated situations. They are unafraid to redesign “long-held emotions, values and goals.”
Curator – These elders show empathy and connect with others through caring.
Creator – Artists and makers in this role may manifest great creativity and produce their most profound works by mixing significant aspects of their pasts with the present.
Seer – People who fulfill this role forecast the possibilities of the future. Insightful and introspective, they often act as spiritual leaders.
An “age point” occurs when life changes.
When life disrupts the values, standards and beliefs someone has embraced until that moment, an age-point process begins. Resolving an age point leads to developing new abilities for those who are willing to forego prior ways of doing things and to adjust to a new situation.
These transitional age points can occur at any time of life, and they unfold in four stages:
“Event” – Things change. An experience transforms how you think or feel.
“Suspension” – Akin to a shock, the period of suspension occurs when your mind can’t understand what has happened or how it could. A negative suspension cultivates confusion and emotional strain. A positive suspension lets go of old ideas about how things work to make room for new possibilities.
“Reckoning” – People spend this period weighing the cost of change as they face decisions about how to fit new realities into old relationships and patterns. They recognize your limitations, weaknesses and faults. Previous strengths no longer function, and they must adapt to move forward. People may undergo a crisis of faith as they experience personal and intellectual reconfiguring.
“Resolution” – Acceptance allows altered beliefs and new behaviors to help elders navigate the new phase of life. A positive resolution grants them a more flexible approach to life.
“Geropause” is the stagnation that often occurs in response to an age point.
“Menopause” and “andropause” refer to periods of hormonal and physical alterations. These come with psychological shifts as people face the first major signs of aging; often, this affects their choices and lifestyles. Geropause addresses the stagnation that can occur in response to an age point. During geropause, people stop pursuing fun activities and learning new things. They resist new relationships or interests. Physical fear or loss of an important social role can stymie personal development.
In neglecting to preserve and enrich an aging life, whether our own or that of others, we send a message that life only has meaning when we are happy, comfortable and independent.
An “active geropause” arises from a deliberate choice to step back – for example, to retire. Some people may stop participating in an important activity, whether it’s skiing or volunteering. A “passive geropause” stems from loss of abilities, convictions or opportunities. For example, withdrawal is common when eyesight diminishes and people can no longer drive. Losing faith in meaningful religious or political beliefs may set someone adrift. Reduced income may force people to leave clubs or activities. An “inhibited geropause” stems from external blocks. An argument with colleagues can lead to refusing to participate in the local game league. Fears about driving at night can limit social interactions.
People may refuse to recognize their changed circumstances or seek solutions. Geropause often leads to being bored and inactive, but people can find creative solutions through personal growth. This requires a choice to no longer yearn for what once was. People who are aging must make peace with a changed world and participate in it. The pain of physical rehabilitation or psychological development makes many people avoid the effort to overcome geropause, but being stuck in it is worse.
Purpose is pivotal to life satisfaction; this remains true at the end of life.
Purpose comes from providing a positive contribution. The ancient Greek philosophers regarded achieving eudaimonia – when the soul experiences harmony with the practical requirements of life – as one of the highest human endeavors. The Japanese term ikigai refers to the general philosophy of having fully developed reasons for living that a person aspires to embody.
”We cannot forget our past, but often must tap into it for strength and inspiration.
Societal expectations that older people should recede from life increase the difficulty of maintaining purpose, which stems from the desire to serve the world and yourself.
Your “age culture” provides references for continuing to thrive by leading a meaningful life.
Gerontologists Paul and Margret Baltes recommend cultivating activities that are extensions of your current skills or lifestyles, are nearby or easily available, and are meaningful.
The accumulating products of our aging self represent a rich tapestry of abilities, interests, experiences, relationships and commitments that can be described as our age culture.
Creative aging includes overlapping “human potential phases” to reflect that adult development doesn’t occur within strict age parameters. What geriatric psychiatrist Gene Cohen calls a “midlife re-evaluation phase” may begin in the second half of your 30s and last through your mid-60s. He suggests that you may evaluate your choices and seek improvements by calling upon “quest energy.” You may next experience what Cohen terms a “liberation phase” that continues into your mid-70s, when a sudden urgency arises to try things that were previously unthinkable.
Retirement can make this freedom possible, even as family or friends find this new activity disturbing and try to limit it. The “summing-up phase” occurs from the late 60s into the 90s, when you want to contribute to the world. The “encore phase” begins in the 70s and lasts until the end of life, as you affirm and commemorate your life choices.
Positive models help those who are aging begin to embrace the idea that people can thrive even as they get older. The artist Matisse exemplified this idea. During World War II, Matisse suffered from many ailments and became wheelchair-bound. He was unable to stand and paint. His assistant, Lydia Delectorskaya, gave him brightly colored paper and scissors. He cut undulating shapes and instructed her where to pin them on colored canvases. These works celebrated his desire to thrive – even amid the pain of his physical ailments – at the end of his long, successful life as a prodigious painter.
Pioneering modern dancer Martha Graham faced a similar challenge at the end of her dancing career. Unable to fathom a life away from her art, she transformed herself into one of history’s greatest choreographers.
“Re-aging” is a five-step process of coming to value the aging process and its creative potential: Affirm your wisdom, identify your resilience, create an action plan, consider your legacy and celebrate your life.
No one can give another person purpose, so having an action plan provides steps an older person can follow to discover the elements of a meaningful path. For those who think all is well, an action plan provides guidance for future challenges. For those feeling trapped by a physical or mental problem, an action plan reveals opportunities, though some may require accepting help or changing long-held personal attributes. For those who are in the final stage of life, an action plan provides a vision to help their relatives and friends recognize the dignity and wisdom of the moment.
An action plan begins by recognizing your age culture. Ask three questions to unpack your core principles: “Who was I? Who am I? Who will I be?” The answers provide references for continuing to thrive and to lead a meaningful life. Re-aging calls for valuing the aging process and recognizing its creative potential.
Certain kinds of mental skills even improve with age, such as the ability to solve a problem based on experience and the integration of information, a quality best defined as wisdom.
The five steps of the re-aging process are:
Affirm your current store of wisdom – Reflect on how you played each of the five roles (savant, sage, curator, creator and seer) across your life. What knowledge and experience did you share as a savant? How did you, as a sage, help people make decisions and recognize important values? What engagements with your communities reflected your care and concern for others? Where were you most creative? How did you offer spiritual or philosophical guidance?
Identify your resilience – Examine your age points to detect what resources served you in the past and which behaviors helped you overcome challenges.
Reinvent yourself – Create an “age imperative action plan” based on each of the five roles. Ask how you currently fulfill each role and how you will fill each role in the future.
Reflect on your legacy – Consider how you want your life to affect your family, your immediate community and the greater world. Examine what contributions you made and still can make to recognize the meaning you continue to cultivate in your life.
Celebrate your life – You probably held celebrations for every other important passage, so create a ceremony to symbolize this time. Within that ceremony, devise your own rituals to honor the life you have lived and are living.
Typical assumptions about aging have an unconscious but significant influence on how people actually age.
The stereotype embodiment theory describes how people internalize stereotypes about aging.
The brain has many adaptive attributes.
Aging offers five core strengths that correlate to older people’s roles as “savant, sage, curator, creator and seer.”
An “age point” occurs when life changes.
“Geropause” is the stagnation that often occurs in response to an age point.
Purpose is pivotal to life satisfaction, which remains true at the end of life.
Your “age culture” provides references for continuing to thrive by leading a meaningful life.
“Re-aging” is a five-step process of coming to value the aging process and its creative potential: Affirm your wisdom, identify your resilience, create an action plan, consider your legacy and celebrate your life.
Summary:
Typical assumptions about aging have an unconscious but significant influence on how people actually age.
Science has no known cure for aging, and examples of longevity can defy explanation. Long-lived elders usually experience a combination of regular physical exercise; close communities and families; and diets focusing largely on fruits, vegetables and healthy oils. Their vigor and activity keep them engaged.
Aging brings wisdom that is essential to the unity and progress of both the spirit and the community, and one forsakes it at his or her own peril.
Many people argue against prolonging old age. Some make the moral argument that space is necessary for the next generation. Others point to the pain and discomfort of old age. Medical ethicist Ezekiel Emanuel wrote passionately in his article “Why I Hope to Die at 75” about the personal limitations of old age. He explained that “living too long is also a loss” because it concludes a vibrant life with a focus on pain. He proposes refusing medical treatment. With many in the 85-and-older population suffering from neurocognitive disorders, Emanuel’s repulsion for old age seems logical to many observers.
The stereotype embodiment theory describes how people internalize stereotypes about aging.
Psychologist Becca Levy’s stereotype embodiment theory describes how people internalize oversimplified images of aging. Such stereotypes have a pernicious, unconscious but significant influence on how people age. Psychologist Laura Carstensen’s socioemotional selectivity theory views aging as a response to seeing death approach. As life becomes more important, people often choose to participate in emotionally meaningful activities and relationships.
All the knowledge, experience, maturity, perspective, balance and wisdom bequeathed by age…enable you to look back with such keen vision on your life.
Famed psychologist Erik Erikson presented eight stages of life, of which old age constituted only one. In his lexicon, tension defined the eighth stage, as people struggled to reflect with pride on lives well-lived but also experienced anxiety about everything they failed to accomplish. Eventually, Erikson and his wife, Joan, added a ninth stage that describes a period of enfeeblement, frailty, doubt and insecurity.
The brain has many adaptive attributes.
If life is measured in terms of physical ability, then age appears as a downward spiral. MRIs indicate a steady reduction of brain tissue beginning in early middle age and accelerating after age 60.
A geropause refers to a downward shift or even a moratorium on pursuing and developing new interests, skills, relationships, roles or life circumstances.
Age makes distractions more difficult to manage, and that leads people to choose more carefully where to put their attention. This narrowing is a natural response to an influx of information. It enhances “fluid intelligence,” the skills that relate to reasoning, solving problems and recognizing patterns.
The brain is capable of adapting in many ways. “Brain reserve” describes the “number, density and connectivity of neurons” that contribute to the intelligence, skills and experiences people use to support normal functioning even as the brain goes through age-related losses. The scaffolding theory of aging and cognition (STAC) developed by cognitive scientists Denise Park and Patricia
Reuter-Lorenz describes how older brains develop additional neural networks to complete assignments. Young people may do the same tasks using smaller areas of their brains, but that doesn’t mean they are doing a better job.
Compensation-related utilization of neural circuits (CRUNCH) describes how older brains send work to other parts of the brain in order to fulfill demanding tasks. Older people use both sides of their brain to complete tasks, an attribute called hemispheric asymmetry reduction in older adults (HAROLD).
Aging offers five core strengths that correlate to older people’s roles as “savant, sage, curator, creator and seer.”
Aging offers five core strengths: “knowledge, judgment, empathy, creativity and insight” that correlate to five roles older people may fill:
Savant – People who fulfill this role teach others on the basis of their lifetime of knowledge.
Sage – Those in this role use their wisdom to deliberate and offer judgment on complicated situations. They are unafraid to redesign “long-held emotions, values and goals.”
Curator – These elders show empathy and connect with others through caring.
Creator – Artists and makers in this role may manifest great creativity and produce their most profound works by mixing significant aspects of their pasts with the present.
Seer – People who fulfill this role forecast the possibilities of the future. Insightful and introspective, they often act as spiritual leaders.
An “age point” occurs when life changes.
When life disrupts the values, standards and beliefs someone has embraced until that moment, an age-point process begins. Resolving an age point leads to developing new abilities for those who are willing to forego prior ways of doing things and to adjust to a new situation.
These transitional age points can occur at any time of life, and they unfold in four stages:
“Event” – Things change. An experience transforms how you think or feel.
“Suspension” – Akin to a shock, the period of suspension occurs when your mind can’t understand what has happened or how it could. A negative suspension cultivates confusion and emotional strain. A positive suspension lets go of old ideas about how things work to make room for new possibilities.
“Reckoning” – People spend this period weighing the cost of change as they face decisions about how to fit new realities into old relationships and patterns. They recognize your limitations, weaknesses and faults. Previous strengths no longer function, and they must adapt to move forward. People may undergo a crisis of faith as they experience personal and intellectual reconfiguring.
“Resolution” – Acceptance allows altered beliefs and new behaviors to help elders navigate the new phase of life. A positive resolution grants them a more flexible approach to life.
“Geropause” is the stagnation that often occurs in response to an age point.
“Menopause” and “andropause” refer to periods of hormonal and physical alterations. These come with psychological shifts as people face the first major signs of aging; often, this affects their choices and lifestyles. Geropause addresses the stagnation that can occur in response to an age point. During geropause, people stop pursuing fun activities and learning new things. They resist new relationships or interests. Physical fear or loss of an important social role can stymie personal development.
In neglecting to preserve and enrich an aging life, whether our own or that of others, we send a message that life only has meaning when we are happy, comfortable and independent.
An “active geropause” arises from a deliberate choice to step back – for example, to retire. Some people may stop participating in an important activity, whether it’s skiing or volunteering. A “passive geropause” stems from loss of abilities, convictions or opportunities. For example, withdrawal is common when eyesight diminishes and people can no longer drive. Losing faith in meaningful religious or political beliefs may set someone adrift. Reduced income may force people to leave clubs or activities. An “inhibited geropause” stems from external blocks. An argument with colleagues can lead to refusing to participate in the local game league. Fears about driving at night can limit social interactions.
People may refuse to recognize their changed circumstances or seek solutions. Geropause often leads to being bored and inactive, but people can find creative solutions through personal growth. This requires a choice to no longer yearn for what once was. People who are aging must make peace with a changed world and participate in it. The pain of physical rehabilitation or psychological development makes many people avoid the effort to overcome geropause, but being stuck in it is worse.
Purpose is pivotal to life satisfaction; this remains true at the end of life.
Purpose comes from providing a positive contribution. The ancient Greek philosophers regarded achieving eudaimonia – when the soul experiences harmony with the practical requirements of life – as one of the highest human endeavors. The Japanese term ikigai refers to the general philosophy of having fully developed reasons for living that a person aspires to embody.
”We cannot forget our past, but often must tap into it for strength and inspiration.
Societal expectations that older people should recede from life increase the difficulty of maintaining purpose, which stems from the desire to serve the world and yourself.
Your “age culture” provides references for continuing to thrive by leading a meaningful life.
Gerontologists Paul and Margret Baltes recommend cultivating activities that are extensions of your current skills or lifestyles, are nearby or easily available, and are meaningful.
The accumulating products of our aging self represent a rich tapestry of abilities, interests, experiences, relationships and commitments that can be described as our age culture.
Creative aging includes overlapping “human potential phases” to reflect that adult development doesn’t occur within strict age parameters. What geriatric psychiatrist Gene Cohen calls a “midlife re-evaluation phase” may begin in the second half of your 30s and last through your mid-60s. He suggests that you may evaluate your choices and seek improvements by calling upon “quest energy.” You may next experience what Cohen terms a “liberation phase” that continues into your mid-70s, when a sudden urgency arises to try things that were previously unthinkable.
Retirement can make this freedom possible, even as family or friends find this new activity disturbing and try to limit it. The “summing-up phase” occurs from the late 60s into the 90s, when you want to contribute to the world. The “encore phase” begins in the 70s and lasts until the end of life, as you affirm and commemorate your life choices.
Positive models help those who are aging begin to embrace the idea that people can thrive even as they get older. The artist Matisse exemplified this idea. During World War II, Matisse suffered from many ailments and became wheelchair-bound. He was unable to stand and paint. His assistant, Lydia Delectorskaya, gave him brightly colored paper and scissors. He cut undulating shapes and instructed her where to pin them on colored canvases. These works celebrated his desire to thrive – even amid the pain of his physical ailments – at the end of his long, successful life as a prodigious painter.
Pioneering modern dancer Martha Graham faced a similar challenge at the end of her dancing career. Unable to fathom a life away from her art, she transformed herself into one of history’s greatest choreographers.
“Re-aging” is a five-step process of coming to value the aging process and its creative potential: Affirm your wisdom, identify your resilience, create an action plan, consider your legacy and celebrate your life.
No one can give another person purpose, so having an action plan provides steps an older person can follow to discover the elements of a meaningful path. For those who think all is well, an action plan provides guidance for future challenges. For those feeling trapped by a physical or mental problem, an action plan reveals opportunities, though some may require accepting help or changing long-held personal attributes. For those who are in the final stage of life, an action plan provides a vision to help their relatives and friends recognize the dignity and wisdom of the moment.
An action plan begins by recognizing your age culture. Ask three questions to unpack your core principles: “Who was I? Who am I? Who will I be?” The answers provide references for continuing to thrive and to lead a meaningful life. Re-aging calls for valuing the aging process and recognizing its creative potential.
Certain kinds of mental skills even improve with age, such as the ability to solve a problem based on experience and the integration of information, a quality best defined as wisdom.
The five steps of the re-aging process are:
Affirm your current store of wisdom – Reflect on how you played each of the five roles (savant, sage, curator, creator and seer) across your life. What knowledge and experience did you share as a savant? How did you, as a sage, help people make decisions and recognize important values? What engagements with your communities reflected your care and concern for others? Where were you most creative? How did you offer spiritual or philosophical guidance?
Identify your resilience – Examine your age points to detect what resources served you in the past and which behaviors helped you overcome challenges.
Reinvent yourself – Create an “age imperative action plan” based on each of the five roles. Ask how you currently fulfill each role and how you will fill each role in the future.
Reflect on your legacy – Consider how you want your life to affect your family, your immediate community and the greater world. Examine what contributions you made and still can make to recognize the meaning you continue to cultivate in your life.
Celebrate your life – You probably held celebrations for every other important passage, so create a ceremony to symbolize this time. Within that ceremony, devise your own rituals to honor the life you have lived and are living.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 5, 2018
If you're fortunate to have Marc Agronin as your provider, you are in good hands, indeed! Dr. Agronin is a geriatric psychiatrist and the director of mental health services at Miami Jewish Health. I'm waiting for book #4, which, I hope, will dictate the qualities, and how to obtain them, of top notch healthcare facilities for the elderly. In this current book, Dr. Agronin speaks to the elderly, those who care for them, and those approaching their elder years.
The emphasis of this book is guiding patients through an action plan for aging, which is described throughout. Dr. Agronin demonstrates how to face aging, full on, with an action plan, which pulls from resources gained throughout life, in order to embrace, and move beyond, the challenges that aging brings. We must learn how to age in a creative manner that is both the antidote to feeling old and the elixir of aging well. vii The aging process enables us to see with optimal clarity the lives we've lived and the impact we've had. It forces reflection on the value and consequences of our decisions and creations. Even though we will not be present to see our full legacy, we can live a small part of it, and its pursuit can provide a powerful purpose in our lives as we try our best to craft its influence ahead of time. 85 There is a purpose in a life lived well, to the end. Death can, and should be, as beautiful and as celebratory as birth, with family surrounding on the journey.
Having worked in hospice care I've been in several of the assisted living facilities in my home city. What I found most striking was the disparity between facilities. Some places were quite depressing and I would never want them for my own family, while other facilities were strikingly happy homes for the elderly. Sadly, the differences seemed to equate with money, the happiest places and the places where I'd want my parents, were also the most expensive facilities. This should not be the case! I am hoping and waiting for another book from Dr. Agronin which will advise on how to even these disparities, so that all assisted living facilities are happy and safe places for elders. Additionally, including information on which programs are the most beneficial, would be extremely helpful. For example, in the best facilities in which I worked, there were many different programs: Bingo, music, arts and crafts, bedside spa sessions, etc. In my limited experience, I saw the most profound physical changes overcome dementia patients, with the music program. It also seemed to me that the best facilities had happier employees who took better, loving care of the elders entrusted to them.
Definitely, there is more research to be done, in this too often overlooked field, especially with the elder populations continuing to grow. Thankfully, we have Dr. Agronin, who continues to work and care for elderly patients while educating the community on his findings and the importance of this work.
The emphasis of this book is guiding patients through an action plan for aging, which is described throughout. Dr. Agronin demonstrates how to face aging, full on, with an action plan, which pulls from resources gained throughout life, in order to embrace, and move beyond, the challenges that aging brings. We must learn how to age in a creative manner that is both the antidote to feeling old and the elixir of aging well. vii The aging process enables us to see with optimal clarity the lives we've lived and the impact we've had. It forces reflection on the value and consequences of our decisions and creations. Even though we will not be present to see our full legacy, we can live a small part of it, and its pursuit can provide a powerful purpose in our lives as we try our best to craft its influence ahead of time. 85 There is a purpose in a life lived well, to the end. Death can, and should be, as beautiful and as celebratory as birth, with family surrounding on the journey.
Having worked in hospice care I've been in several of the assisted living facilities in my home city. What I found most striking was the disparity between facilities. Some places were quite depressing and I would never want them for my own family, while other facilities were strikingly happy homes for the elderly. Sadly, the differences seemed to equate with money, the happiest places and the places where I'd want my parents, were also the most expensive facilities. This should not be the case! I am hoping and waiting for another book from Dr. Agronin which will advise on how to even these disparities, so that all assisted living facilities are happy and safe places for elders. Additionally, including information on which programs are the most beneficial, would be extremely helpful. For example, in the best facilities in which I worked, there were many different programs: Bingo, music, arts and crafts, bedside spa sessions, etc. In my limited experience, I saw the most profound physical changes overcome dementia patients, with the music program. It also seemed to me that the best facilities had happier employees who took better, loving care of the elders entrusted to them.
Definitely, there is more research to be done, in this too often overlooked field, especially with the elder populations continuing to grow. Thankfully, we have Dr. Agronin, who continues to work and care for elderly patients while educating the community on his findings and the importance of this work.
October 31, 2019
This author rubbed me the wrong way. He was so instantly dismissive of the fact that 50% of all 85 year olds have some form of dementia. That is HUGE. Imagine if those were the odds for a lottery ticket. You'd be psyched. The odds would be great that you would win. The odds are great that if you make it past 85, you will be dealing with the devastating scourge of dementia. The author insists that even dementia patients who can't speak or move can still have a "purposeful & fulfilling" life. He doesn't come out and explicitly state that he is against end-of-life suicide but it's obvious from reading in-between the lines.
He kept going on about wisdom, like this is something all old people automatically have - that a mean & stupid young or middle-aged person will somehow magically become wise & intelligent once they hit a certain age. It's not a given. Maturity can certainly bring more wisdom to your life but I find it ridiculous to assume all will experience this.
His examples of great end of life experiences were all about super-agers/outliers like Matisse and Martha Graham and Picasso. Yes, obviously, a few very old people will have amazing lives up to the very end. To write an entire book proposing that most people can experience this is foolishness.
Like nails on a blackboard.
He kept going on about wisdom, like this is something all old people automatically have - that a mean & stupid young or middle-aged person will somehow magically become wise & intelligent once they hit a certain age. It's not a given. Maturity can certainly bring more wisdom to your life but I find it ridiculous to assume all will experience this.
His examples of great end of life experiences were all about super-agers/outliers like Matisse and Martha Graham and Picasso. Yes, obviously, a few very old people will have amazing lives up to the very end. To write an entire book proposing that most people can experience this is foolishness.
Like nails on a blackboard.
July 2, 2018
Marc Agronin works with elderly Miami residents as a geriatric psychiatrist. His book chronicles the ways in which aging and old age can be viewed as a positive stage of life, even with the inevitable challenges that everyone faces growing older. He focuses on the powerful ways older people experience well-being, growth, creativity, and generativity. The bulk of the book analyzes the positive responses to three questions, Why age? Why survive? and Why thrive?, by looking at the lived experience of numerous of his patients, while also drawing on examples from history. The remaining portion of the book provides a template for the reader to consider their own life trajectory and plan a positive response to aging, not seeing it as a time of uselessness and decline, but as a time for enjoyment, contribution, and value to others. In that sense, it's a self-help book, and a very relevant one for me and all the aging Boomers who aren't quite ready to give up on the wonder of being alive. Very readable.
December 9, 2019
Dr. Agronin believes that aging “brings strength” and “the most profound thing we can accomplish in life.” He argues that our aging brain not only plans for our later years financially by diversifying for our material needs but develops a mental protection in the event of unforeseen breakdown, accidents, and health issues. We build this knowledge over previous life as our reserve. He categorizes our lifetime wisdom into five rather lofty sounding types that hardly apply to everyone: “savant, sage, curator, creator, and seer.” (P. 70) Though these terms sound important Dr. Agronin shows them exemplified in the behaviors he describes of ordinary survivors of the 2005 hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and Mississippi.
More to the point is his chapter “Age Points” that deals with situations in life that some call “wake up moments” that involve periods of uncertainly, reckoning to reconcile our sudden situation and our needs, and resolution to the dilemma to move on. The wisdom we acquire from our lifetime of experiences is our stabilizing element to allow us to return to normalcy. He describes the period of uncertainty as a suspension of judgment (epoché) what in phenomenology is described as an ideal state to examine a situation outside our normal assumptions.
Chapter 6 “Renewal, Reinvention, and Creative Aging” narrows down the author’s suggestion for older age to three components to make it successful. These are: avoiding disease and disability or at least minimizing them and keeping fit physically; having good mental functioning; having a meaningful goal and pursuing it actively. Dr. Agronin tells the story of the artist Henri Matisse and the last years of his life when he was severely disabled yet continued to create art adapting to his ability from a wheelchair or bed.
Dr. Agronin has the best chapter near the end—“Redefining and Re-aging’ where encourages the reader to define his own “secret of life.” He asks to look back at our won past roads to identify our strengths, abilities, our wisdom. The purpose of this looking back and extracting your best works and days is to apply it to our life right now and make it more purposeful.
More to the point is his chapter “Age Points” that deals with situations in life that some call “wake up moments” that involve periods of uncertainly, reckoning to reconcile our sudden situation and our needs, and resolution to the dilemma to move on. The wisdom we acquire from our lifetime of experiences is our stabilizing element to allow us to return to normalcy. He describes the period of uncertainty as a suspension of judgment (epoché) what in phenomenology is described as an ideal state to examine a situation outside our normal assumptions.
Chapter 6 “Renewal, Reinvention, and Creative Aging” narrows down the author’s suggestion for older age to three components to make it successful. These are: avoiding disease and disability or at least minimizing them and keeping fit physically; having good mental functioning; having a meaningful goal and pursuing it actively. Dr. Agronin tells the story of the artist Henri Matisse and the last years of his life when he was severely disabled yet continued to create art adapting to his ability from a wheelchair or bed.
Dr. Agronin has the best chapter near the end—“Redefining and Re-aging’ where encourages the reader to define his own “secret of life.” He asks to look back at our won past roads to identify our strengths, abilities, our wisdom. The purpose of this looking back and extracting your best works and days is to apply it to our life right now and make it more purposeful.
March 14, 2018
No matter your physical, financial, or emotional challenges, aging well and embracing life comes down to a mental contract you make with yourself. Dr. Agronin does a masterful job of inspiring the reader through a myriad of personal accounts — and then, more importantly — creating a roadmap that sets emotion aside while helping people focus on a positive way forward, no matter their age or challenge. It’s something I’ve witnessed in the older people in my own life, and always aspired to, but this book crystallizes the how and reminds me that it’s an ongoing process that must be revisited at each stage. This book will always be close at hand. Excellent resource.
June 10, 2018
Think about growing old
This is a book about courage, resilience, and faith. The author tells of the courage of the people he sees growing older, their abilities to deal with the realities of aging, and the faith these people have in themselves and others. He has helped me see that retirement is really the independence to develop and grow into the person I aspire to be. A worthy read.
This is a book about courage, resilience, and faith. The author tells of the courage of the people he sees growing older, their abilities to deal with the realities of aging, and the faith these people have in themselves and others. He has helped me see that retirement is really the independence to develop and grow into the person I aspire to be. A worthy read.
April 19, 2020
I struggled to finish the book. If you have been lucky enough to have had people in you life who have enjoyed all phases of their lives then this book will have will not have any eureka moments for you.
October 5, 2021
As a true supporter of the value of aging, this book gives some excellent examples of the creativity and productivity of individuals in later years. To grow in wisdom, realize a purpose, and create something new is a way to look forward to the benefits of aging.
November 26, 2022
A new view of aging
If you are in the senior citizen category (or know someone who is) and you are struggling with all that accompanies it, fear not! This book will give you new insights that will help move you forward with confidence.
If you are in the senior citizen category (or know someone who is) and you are struggling with all that accompanies it, fear not! This book will give you new insights that will help move you forward with confidence.
Read
October 30, 2025On a 2nd read - the last during the pandemic - this turned out to be quite profound. Take your time and don't necessarily search for answers, and you will be well rewarded.
It deserves a higher rating.
It deserves a higher rating.
April 22, 2018
Very well formulated and useful theory of how to live a fulfilling old age. Good use of examples, but even more would be helpful - maybe in the follow-up book!
May 15, 2018
A little too self-helpy
May 30, 2018
too anecdotal for my tastes. more theory and analysis and research, please.
June 25, 2018
Very inspirational!
October 20, 2018
I had to return this terrific book to the library, but will take it out again to finish. It's been enlightening!
February 12, 2019
I appreciated the author's positive spin on aging. Some of the language didn't resonate with me despite the book being well-articulated. Encouraging and hopeful and a little boring at times.
August 28, 2021
I listened to about half of the audiobook. It was interesting, but not compelling. I need to move on.
April 12, 2024
Informative; we all should read it.
June 30, 2018
"When we truly act our age, our strengths burst forth and allow us to create the life, love and lasting legacy that truly make us the valuable and valued person we yearn to be. That is the end of being old and the beginning of aging with wisdom, purpose, and creativity." Page 196
"Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green." Psalm 92
"Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green." Psalm 92
June 19, 2018
Same stuff set out in dozens of books -- I saw nothing new here.
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