What do you think?
Rate this book
Brian Helsing: The World's Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter #1
Just Try Not To Die
When Helsing XII, the latest in the long and illustrious line of brave demon-hunters dies in combat, no-one would have expected his ring of power to be handed down to an idiot.
Least of all said idiot; Brian Trelawney, the most hapless car salesman in the whole of Cornwall.
With no redeeming features bar his towering height, Brian finds himself thrust into a strange and often terrifying world of vampires, banshees and all other Things That Go Bump In The Night. Trained, after a fashion, by the eccentric Masters, and equipped with strange weapons, Brian is sent into battle as the unwitting savior of mankind.
Accompanied by his friend Neil, a man oddly enough far more appropriate for the role of Helsing, Brian must bumble his way through his first mission; placating a terrifying banshee whose keening wailing is keeping the residents of Bodmin from their beauty sleep.
++Warning: This book contains copious harsh language and mind-numbing stupidity, all wrapped up in a crunchy supernatural shell.++
Least of all said idiot; Brian Trelawney, the most hapless car salesman in the whole of Cornwall.
With no redeeming features bar his towering height, Brian finds himself thrust into a strange and often terrifying world of vampires, banshees and all other Things That Go Bump In The Night. Trained, after a fashion, by the eccentric Masters, and equipped with strange weapons, Brian is sent into battle as the unwitting savior of mankind.
Accompanied by his friend Neil, a man oddly enough far more appropriate for the role of Helsing, Brian must bumble his way through his first mission; placating a terrifying banshee whose keening wailing is keeping the residents of Bodmin from their beauty sleep.
++Warning: This book contains copious harsh language and mind-numbing stupidity, all wrapped up in a crunchy supernatural shell.++
266 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 14, 2017
469 people are currently reading
526 people want to read
About the author
Gareth K. Pengelly
26 books44 followersGaz Pengelly lives in rural UK with his girlfriend, a hamster and a part time labrador.
When not writing, he can be found careening around on his motorcycle or sitting in the garden with a pipe and a nice pint of real ale, depending on his mood.
Gaz's fantasy and horror books are inspired by his favourite authors; namely Masterton, Herbert, Brooks, Pratchett, Gemmell, amongst others.
Find his books on his website, here:
http://www.garethkpengelly.co.uk
When not writing, he can be found careening around on his motorcycle or sitting in the garden with a pipe and a nice pint of real ale, depending on his mood.
Gaz's fantasy and horror books are inspired by his favourite authors; namely Masterton, Herbert, Brooks, Pratchett, Gemmell, amongst others.
Find his books on his website, here:
http://www.garethkpengelly.co.uk
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 140 reviews
April 12, 2018
Five stars from me! Obviously. I mean, it'd be silly not to, wouldn't it?
I cannot express how much I enjoyed writing this book. Brian's a very special character to me - an average, everyday Joe who dreams of nothing more than a quiet life, left alone to his Xbox and a pint of Doom Bar after a hard day's being an idiot. To foist power and responsibility upon him and watch him struggle was truly a delight. Does that make me a sadist? Probably. But he's fictional, so I don't feel too guilty. This book really let me cut loose with my stupid side (and by that, I mean the right side, left side, outside and, indeed, inside). Conjuring the cast of eccentric Masters was also a joy. I'd love to be able to say I based them all on characters I knew in real life, but that would be absurd. And if I knew people like them in real life, well, I think I'd have to reevaluate my life choices. And seeing as I already do that on a daily basis, that'd be somewhat redundant.
If you're reading this, you've probably read the book. If you enjoyed it, my humble gratitude. If you didn't - fair play! I'm very much like marmite, I've found; easily forgotten about in a cupboard and with a strange, yeasty smell. I should probably get that looked at...
If you'd like to keep up on new Brian Helsing books (yes, there will be more!) then please visit my site www.garethkpengelly.co.uk or like the Brian Helsing Facebook Page!
Thanks all!
Gaz
I cannot express how much I enjoyed writing this book. Brian's a very special character to me - an average, everyday Joe who dreams of nothing more than a quiet life, left alone to his Xbox and a pint of Doom Bar after a hard day's being an idiot. To foist power and responsibility upon him and watch him struggle was truly a delight. Does that make me a sadist? Probably. But he's fictional, so I don't feel too guilty. This book really let me cut loose with my stupid side (and by that, I mean the right side, left side, outside and, indeed, inside). Conjuring the cast of eccentric Masters was also a joy. I'd love to be able to say I based them all on characters I knew in real life, but that would be absurd. And if I knew people like them in real life, well, I think I'd have to reevaluate my life choices. And seeing as I already do that on a daily basis, that'd be somewhat redundant.
If you're reading this, you've probably read the book. If you enjoyed it, my humble gratitude. If you didn't - fair play! I'm very much like marmite, I've found; easily forgotten about in a cupboard and with a strange, yeasty smell. I should probably get that looked at...
If you'd like to keep up on new Brian Helsing books (yes, there will be more!) then please visit my site www.garethkpengelly.co.uk or like the Brian Helsing Facebook Page!
Thanks all!
Gaz
October 23, 2021
Somehow, for not being a huge vampire fan, I end up reading a lot of vampire novels. Perhaps it's more of me not being a fan of "steamy romance novels thinly disguised as vampire novels," hehe... Anyhow, I was drawn towards "Just Try Not to Die" because, unlike a lot of vampire novels, it promised to be funny. And while it wasn't a perfect read and could get a little crass at times, it was quite funny and enjoyable, and fun seeing a complete loser thrust into a hero role.
When Helsing XII, the latest monster hunter to bear the Helsing title, dies, his powers, duties, and title fall on the nearest person. Unfortunately, that person is Brian, a hapless car salesman who panics at the first sign of danger and is utterly hopeless in a fight. But he's all that stands between the people of London and the creatures of the night... if his trainers don't kill him first.
The author states in a foreword that he was inspired by the works of Terry Pratchett... and there are points in this book where it feels like he's clearly trying to channel Pratchett. There's no imitating one of the masters of the fantasy genre, and there are points in this book where the humor got a little too needlessly crude. But it still got quite a few laughs out of me, even if the story gets a little ridiculous at times. At least it's enjoyably ridiculous, I suppose...
The characters are all a little flat, and our main character's loser ways get pretty exaggerated for humor's sake. But Brian Helsing is an amusing protagonist, and it's fun watching an everyman of sorts thrown into the role of a hero... even if he doesn't want it. The story lags some in the middle, during Helsing's training sequence, but it's still worth pressing through.
I may not continue with this series, but at least its first entry was funny and entertaining. If you're looking for a more lighthearted take on the vampire-hunter genre, this is a great choice.
When Helsing XII, the latest monster hunter to bear the Helsing title, dies, his powers, duties, and title fall on the nearest person. Unfortunately, that person is Brian, a hapless car salesman who panics at the first sign of danger and is utterly hopeless in a fight. But he's all that stands between the people of London and the creatures of the night... if his trainers don't kill him first.
The author states in a foreword that he was inspired by the works of Terry Pratchett... and there are points in this book where it feels like he's clearly trying to channel Pratchett. There's no imitating one of the masters of the fantasy genre, and there are points in this book where the humor got a little too needlessly crude. But it still got quite a few laughs out of me, even if the story gets a little ridiculous at times. At least it's enjoyably ridiculous, I suppose...
The characters are all a little flat, and our main character's loser ways get pretty exaggerated for humor's sake. But Brian Helsing is an amusing protagonist, and it's fun watching an everyman of sorts thrown into the role of a hero... even if he doesn't want it. The story lags some in the middle, during Helsing's training sequence, but it's still worth pressing through.
I may not continue with this series, but at least its first entry was funny and entertaining. If you're looking for a more lighthearted take on the vampire-hunter genre, this is a great choice.
May 30, 2018
Was much better than I thought it would be. Enjoyed it immensely! I'll most likely look for the others in the series. Good fun!
Read
April 2, 2023No rating. DNF.
This is just awful. I think it's supposed to be funny? Maybe?
This is just awful. I think it's supposed to be funny? Maybe?
April 19, 2018
The first 'ordinary guy' story that I've really enjoyed. Brian is so normal that I would have recognised him at school, or been parts of him (but I'm not quite as tall).
He bumbles through life until he meets a vampire and accidentally kills her while trying to escape, thus earning the mantle of "Hesling" from the dying vampire killer who was the now-dead vampire's prey, and so starts the main story.
I found the book on a free ebook site some weeks ago, got around to starting to tread it yesterday evening and read through to the small hours. I really liked it. Brian undergoes training, finds some skills but mostly bumbles his way around, aided by his handsome, debonair friend who everyone else assumes is the new Hesling. There are some slightly rough edges - more like teething troubles - but overall, I really enjoyed it. This will be a book that I will go back to and I can feel book two calling to me.
He bumbles through life until he meets a vampire and accidentally kills her while trying to escape, thus earning the mantle of "Hesling" from the dying vampire killer who was the now-dead vampire's prey, and so starts the main story.
I found the book on a free ebook site some weeks ago, got around to starting to tread it yesterday evening and read through to the small hours. I really liked it. Brian undergoes training, finds some skills but mostly bumbles his way around, aided by his handsome, debonair friend who everyone else assumes is the new Hesling. There are some slightly rough edges - more like teething troubles - but overall, I really enjoyed it. This will be a book that I will go back to and I can feel book two calling to me.
January 13, 2020
This one is outright silly, but in an amusing way. A complete loser trying to sell cars gets attacked by a vampire and subsequently dragged into a secret society of monster hunters. Because of being at the right time and place, he becomes heir to Helsing, or was there another reason? As a reluctant hero, his survival skills start to develop in ways he finds confusing.
This was a fun book, if lightweight. It's clearly set up as an introduction to a series and despite my wicked habit of often reading free first-in-series books and stopping at that, I'm tempted to try a little more of this one. I've put the second one on my ereaderiq list for now, not that it's very expensive but I want to catch up on A-list books before I entertain the thought of buying more just-for-fun books.
Beneath the caricature expression of characters and the well-into-fantasy magic, there's a spot of depth woven into the plot about discovering one's potential. An entertaining read.
This was a fun book, if lightweight. It's clearly set up as an introduction to a series and despite my wicked habit of often reading free first-in-series books and stopping at that, I'm tempted to try a little more of this one. I've put the second one on my ereaderiq list for now, not that it's very expensive but I want to catch up on A-list books before I entertain the thought of buying more just-for-fun books.
Beneath the caricature expression of characters and the well-into-fantasy magic, there's a spot of depth woven into the plot about discovering one's potential. An entertaining read.
January 31, 2019
What would an English Buffy look like? Pretty much like Brian Helsing. Tall, lanky, generally useless, largely clueless, with a stomach for cheap cider, a taste for cheaper weed, and a thoroughly British way with profane language.
So Brian, the world’s worst second-hand car salesman, having been taken for a ride, literally, by a car-buying vampire babe, finds himself unwittingly recruited as a Helsing – a slayer. To everyone’s surprise, not least his own, he survives (at least until the sequel).
It’s all great fun and as unCalifornian as it’s possible to be.
So Brian, the world’s worst second-hand car salesman, having been taken for a ride, literally, by a car-buying vampire babe, finds himself unwittingly recruited as a Helsing – a slayer. To everyone’s surprise, not least his own, he survives (at least until the sequel).
It’s all great fun and as unCalifornian as it’s possible to be.
May 23, 2018
Great Fun! Well done!
Gareth Pengelly’s Brian Helsing is a lovable fool who accidentally becomes a fearless slayer of vampires and other paranormal beasties. You can’t help but love the fool who bumbles his way through misadventures, but ultimately wins. This is a great combination of supernatural lore and comedy with tongue firmly in cheek. The cover art for the book is a bit dodgy, but the story is well-paced and engaging. Highly recommend!
Gareth Pengelly’s Brian Helsing is a lovable fool who accidentally becomes a fearless slayer of vampires and other paranormal beasties. You can’t help but love the fool who bumbles his way through misadventures, but ultimately wins. This is a great combination of supernatural lore and comedy with tongue firmly in cheek. The cover art for the book is a bit dodgy, but the story is well-paced and engaging. Highly recommend!
July 23, 2018
Witty, weird, the world of the hunter of creatures out of myth crossed with the clumsiest man alive.
He's a nerd, a tall, gangly nerd, who shudders at the thought of speaking to a pretty girl. Suddenly he finds himself replacing a highly trained vampire killer as the newest in a string of thirteen to carry the name and do the job. Helsing, who, him? Yes, him, even though he's about as apt as a bucket of kittens.
He's a nerd, a tall, gangly nerd, who shudders at the thought of speaking to a pretty girl. Suddenly he finds himself replacing a highly trained vampire killer as the newest in a string of thirteen to carry the name and do the job. Helsing, who, him? Yes, him, even though he's about as apt as a bucket of kittens.
December 3, 2020
Brillant
Not my usual read dont usually read comic books but really enjoyed every single word very funny, very easy read!
Not my usual read dont usually read comic books but really enjoyed every single word very funny, very easy read!
October 20, 2022
Perhaps an idiot is what this world needs right now.
Well, that was a solid 3 1/2 stars of fun silliness that I don't mind rounding up! It was a little superficial and quickly finished, sure, but obviously this is just the welcome pamphlet, um, I mean, novella in the series. And besides, I'm never going to overly criticise anyone that starts off their book with an appropriate acknowledgement of Sir Terry Pratchett and his "Discworld" legacy. So, yeah, I immediately felt all warm and fuzzy inside about the chances of this being an enjoyable read! Short and, if not sweet, then definitely better than accidentally putting Marmite on your toast…
Brian is not a warrior. He’s not a genius. He hasn’t a clue how to talk to women, or, well, anyone for that matter.
Pengelly definitely doesn't waste any time as our anti-hero Brian, um, Helsing, um, XIII runs into trouble pretty much from the get-go. If you're looking for my impression of our unsuspecting protagonist, yes, mentioning Discworld again, he's got a lot of Rincewind - that most famous of all 'Wizzards' - about him. He definitely seems to escape most situations intact despite his best efforts… and I guess we can count his eventual upgrade in terms of vehicles as his own version of "The Luggage". If you're a former colonist like myself (that means American y'all), you might also want to throw in a dollop of Napoleon Dynamite in there for good measure if you at least want to complete the mental image that was floating in my head throughout.
The world doesn’t belong to warriors of old anymore. It belongs to people like you. Perhaps it is time for a new, geeky, weak-chinned Helsing to take up the mantle.
As with many English writers (or is it British? I'm never sure…), the author bases the book on a pretty random spot in the southwestern most reaches of Her, oops, His Majesty's lands. I'd never heard of any of these places before, but they're all really, um, real (and I followed on Google Maps just to make sure). Though if anyone has been there on purpose before (you know, besides local residents), well, more power to you! It does lend itself then to a kind of disconnection in that I = me had to ultimately transfer my brain to locations I = me (I said that, didn't me?) know better. So sure, a lot of this either happened in my mind outside of Manchester or even better the surrounding industrial regions of Glasgow where I spent many years on dreadfully mundane business trips. At least I was able to picture where they ate or had various wee scrape-ups before the whole "Chosen One" stuff started.
Go now, and do my legacy proud. I have faith in you. Even if you are a… blithering… idiot…
"Just Try Not to Die" has some dryly funny parts to it - no, there was no LOL'ing nor even ROFL'ing on my part but still - and was well-written enough to pass muster (ie I did not feel even slightly compelled to fling it into the ether either literally or via whatever delete function Kindle offers). I do wish this had been more of a NOVEL vs. just the short peek into this world we're provided, but I can't speak for what the author was trying to accomplish, either plot-wise or getting this series off the ground in the first place. I think I would definitely recommend to any potential readers that you not take ANY of it all that seriously and you won't therefore be disappointed. This is NOT "Monster Hunters International" or any of the overly testosterone- and weapon-laden action-adventure-oh-gods-kill-it-all-with-fire books of that ilk. No, again, its much more of Jesse Eisenberg's character in "Zombieland", where first-time viewers sense all too quickly that having someone like that actually managing to survive the Zombie Apocalypse (all caps mind you) was a stretch to say the least!
“How do you think he’ll cope with the next mission?”
“Fucking terribly, is my guess…”
Ultimately, I think this novella accomplished what it needed to, namely, sparking my interest enough that I'll most definitely probably and perhaps, too, read more down the road. Surely maybe. Not right away, as my TBR shelf is sagging in the middle it's so full, but soon-ish. It's absolutely fortunate that I'm not only intriqued by the subject matter - loving both the Helsing mythos as well as all nasty creatures great and small - but also that the books are a reliable staple via Kindle Unlimited. So when (not if) my max allotment of checked out titles ever relaxes somewhat, I'll be visiting with this crew again, particularly as I've noticed the books do tend to become more of a thorough meal in later chapters rather than this wee snack wound up being!
Keep the faith, True Believers!
Well, that was a solid 3 1/2 stars of fun silliness that I don't mind rounding up! It was a little superficial and quickly finished, sure, but obviously this is just the welcome pamphlet, um, I mean, novella in the series. And besides, I'm never going to overly criticise anyone that starts off their book with an appropriate acknowledgement of Sir Terry Pratchett and his "Discworld" legacy. So, yeah, I immediately felt all warm and fuzzy inside about the chances of this being an enjoyable read! Short and, if not sweet, then definitely better than accidentally putting Marmite on your toast…
Brian is not a warrior. He’s not a genius. He hasn’t a clue how to talk to women, or, well, anyone for that matter.
Pengelly definitely doesn't waste any time as our anti-hero Brian, um, Helsing, um, XIII runs into trouble pretty much from the get-go. If you're looking for my impression of our unsuspecting protagonist, yes, mentioning Discworld again, he's got a lot of Rincewind - that most famous of all 'Wizzards' - about him. He definitely seems to escape most situations intact despite his best efforts… and I guess we can count his eventual upgrade in terms of vehicles as his own version of "The Luggage". If you're a former colonist like myself (that means American y'all), you might also want to throw in a dollop of Napoleon Dynamite in there for good measure if you at least want to complete the mental image that was floating in my head throughout.
The world doesn’t belong to warriors of old anymore. It belongs to people like you. Perhaps it is time for a new, geeky, weak-chinned Helsing to take up the mantle.
As with many English writers (or is it British? I'm never sure…), the author bases the book on a pretty random spot in the southwestern most reaches of Her, oops, His Majesty's lands. I'd never heard of any of these places before, but they're all really, um, real (and I followed on Google Maps just to make sure). Though if anyone has been there on purpose before (you know, besides local residents), well, more power to you! It does lend itself then to a kind of disconnection in that I = me had to ultimately transfer my brain to locations I = me (I said that, didn't me?) know better. So sure, a lot of this either happened in my mind outside of Manchester or even better the surrounding industrial regions of Glasgow where I spent many years on dreadfully mundane business trips. At least I was able to picture where they ate or had various wee scrape-ups before the whole "Chosen One" stuff started.
Go now, and do my legacy proud. I have faith in you. Even if you are a… blithering… idiot…
"Just Try Not to Die" has some dryly funny parts to it - no, there was no LOL'ing nor even ROFL'ing on my part but still - and was well-written enough to pass muster (ie I did not feel even slightly compelled to fling it into the ether either literally or via whatever delete function Kindle offers). I do wish this had been more of a NOVEL vs. just the short peek into this world we're provided, but I can't speak for what the author was trying to accomplish, either plot-wise or getting this series off the ground in the first place. I think I would definitely recommend to any potential readers that you not take ANY of it all that seriously and you won't therefore be disappointed. This is NOT "Monster Hunters International" or any of the overly testosterone- and weapon-laden action-adventure-oh-gods-kill-it-all-with-fire books of that ilk. No, again, its much more of Jesse Eisenberg's character in "Zombieland", where first-time viewers sense all too quickly that having someone like that actually managing to survive the Zombie Apocalypse (all caps mind you) was a stretch to say the least!
“How do you think he’ll cope with the next mission?”
“Fucking terribly, is my guess…”
Ultimately, I think this novella accomplished what it needed to, namely, sparking my interest enough that I'll most definitely probably and perhaps, too, read more down the road. Surely maybe. Not right away, as my TBR shelf is sagging in the middle it's so full, but soon-ish. It's absolutely fortunate that I'm not only intriqued by the subject matter - loving both the Helsing mythos as well as all nasty creatures great and small - but also that the books are a reliable staple via Kindle Unlimited. So when (not if) my max allotment of checked out titles ever relaxes somewhat, I'll be visiting with this crew again, particularly as I've noticed the books do tend to become more of a thorough meal in later chapters rather than this wee snack wound up being!
Keep the faith, True Believers!
September 15, 2020
Many monster hunter style series are built around a sort of chosen one—a hero in the making who will protect the world from nefarious supernatural creatures. Pengelly’s Brian Helsing series is just this sort of book with one major twist—Brain Helsing has no traditionally heroic qualities and apparently no aptitude for learning them. While geeky and not-unintelligent, he hasn’t an athletic bone in his body and he doesn’t have the mindset that one traditionally associates with the sort of person who would go seek out monsters threatening civilization. In fact, he’s so not the hero that the good guys have to physically coerce him into training and going on missions.
So it’s an unusual sort of book and it takes too long for the story to develop, but Pengelly does manage to weave Brian’s unheroic nature and past into a solution for the ultimate problem in the novel in a convincing and frankly touching way. Everyone who’s watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer or read anything in this genre has wondered what they would do if they were chosen as the slayer. This book offers a more plausibly realistic answer to that question than many of us would wish was true. It’s a fun read with a lot of potential to be even more so as the series progresses.
If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
So it’s an unusual sort of book and it takes too long for the story to develop, but Pengelly does manage to weave Brian’s unheroic nature and past into a solution for the ultimate problem in the novel in a convincing and frankly touching way. Everyone who’s watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer or read anything in this genre has wondered what they would do if they were chosen as the slayer. This book offers a more plausibly realistic answer to that question than many of us would wish was true. It’s a fun read with a lot of potential to be even more so as the series progresses.
If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
September 28, 2021
A gangly man with no social skills takes on various creatures of the night...hilariously.
4 stars
A very different story with lots of self-deprecating humor by the protagonist, Brian. Certainly a new twist on the 'killing nasty night creatures' genre.
Upon being chosen as the new Helsing by the current Helsing XII upon his being killed, Brian finds himself unwittingly and unwillingly named Helsing XIII, the latest in a long heritage of protectors of the world from every imaginable nasty demon to walk, crawl or fly on Earth.
Thrust into training by the living "Masters" inside a hidden island cave, Brian is hilariously taught magic, self-defense, how to fight and teleport. He is given an indestructible Camero to drive and a million dollars a year salary. All along the way, his low sense of worth and severe lack of social skills (blame continuous video game playing) prevents him from taking his situation seriously. That is, until he kills his first vampire in public.
From that point forward, Brian's training and social interactions become increasingly humorous. And dangerous! When he is given his next 'assignment,' Brian fears the worst and hopes for the best. Can he dispose of the next monster without too much self-harm and property damage? Will he even survive? I suggest you read this happily twisted tale to discover the answers!
4 stars
A very different story with lots of self-deprecating humor by the protagonist, Brian. Certainly a new twist on the 'killing nasty night creatures' genre.
Upon being chosen as the new Helsing by the current Helsing XII upon his being killed, Brian finds himself unwittingly and unwillingly named Helsing XIII, the latest in a long heritage of protectors of the world from every imaginable nasty demon to walk, crawl or fly on Earth.
Thrust into training by the living "Masters" inside a hidden island cave, Brian is hilariously taught magic, self-defense, how to fight and teleport. He is given an indestructible Camero to drive and a million dollars a year salary. All along the way, his low sense of worth and severe lack of social skills (blame continuous video game playing) prevents him from taking his situation seriously. That is, until he kills his first vampire in public.
From that point forward, Brian's training and social interactions become increasingly humorous. And dangerous! When he is given his next 'assignment,' Brian fears the worst and hopes for the best. Can he dispose of the next monster without too much self-harm and property damage? Will he even survive? I suggest you read this happily twisted tale to discover the answers!
July 24, 2020
The concept of a Helsing - Vampire hunter as a held office like being a member of the Supreme Court is fun and just delightful. The story borrows a lot from other kinds of books and movies like James Bond's character Q the inventor of an amazing array of weaponry. The Character Brian Helsing reminds me of the main character of 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'. But no matter, Mr. Pengelly, giving Brian a friend who likes him despite his faults and failings and social awkwardness really helped the story. I love the fact that Brian Helsing can never quite picture himself in a hero's role. I love this not very polished at all version of James Bond/Indiana Jones/depressed robot from Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy. There were things in this story that made me laugh out loud, cringe, smile and utter aloud "Oh NO!" I read most of this book in a doctor's waiting room as my husband was getting undergoing tests...which garnered me some comments from my socially distance waiters inquiring if I was alright.
This is definitely in line with some of the tales Piers Anthony wrote about concepts like Time being held by office holders. I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. If you like your Fantasy sprinkled with humor you will really enjoy this book. Thanks Mr. Pengelly!! Job well done.
This is definitely in line with some of the tales Piers Anthony wrote about concepts like Time being held by office holders. I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. If you like your Fantasy sprinkled with humor you will really enjoy this book. Thanks Mr. Pengelly!! Job well done.
March 3, 2021
Fun Read
I was looking for something different from what I normally read. The blurb sounded good. Thought I would give it a try. So glad I did. I loved it! I loved Brian. An everyday Joe. He seems a nice guy, maybe drinks a little too much, but then he is single and had to major responsibilities, so why not. He also seems to lack ambition, just wants to make enough to pay his bills, get a drink once in a while, and play his video games. But life or fate had something else in mind for Brian. He was in the wrong place, with the wrong woman, and about to die when a hero steps in to save him. The hero does not make it, now Brian is expected to be the hero. A reluctant hero. A hero who cannot fight, who is not brave, and who is thin as a rail. The author calls him tall and lanky. I picture him as tall and skinny. Feed that boy! Nope, they do not feed him, just beat him up and call it training. They will make a hero out of him eventually. I just loved this book. Cannot wait to read the next one.
I was looking for something different from what I normally read. The blurb sounded good. Thought I would give it a try. So glad I did. I loved it! I loved Brian. An everyday Joe. He seems a nice guy, maybe drinks a little too much, but then he is single and had to major responsibilities, so why not. He also seems to lack ambition, just wants to make enough to pay his bills, get a drink once in a while, and play his video games. But life or fate had something else in mind for Brian. He was in the wrong place, with the wrong woman, and about to die when a hero steps in to save him. The hero does not make it, now Brian is expected to be the hero. A reluctant hero. A hero who cannot fight, who is not brave, and who is thin as a rail. The author calls him tall and lanky. I picture him as tall and skinny. Feed that boy! Nope, they do not feed him, just beat him up and call it training. They will make a hero out of him eventually. I just loved this book. Cannot wait to read the next one.
October 30, 2020
From Amazon, Kindle version for $0.00.
Issue #1: Language, language, language. It's not necessary to use expletives to get your point across. While the GoodReads cover shows "Parental Advisory", the Amazon cover does NOT. It absolutely should. Had it done so, I would not have considered reading.
Issue #2: I'm not English and a large portion of the colloquialisms of that fine country didn't make sense until I'd re-read the section. That's probably just a me thing and doesn't detract from the work.
Overall, I thought it was an alright read, with some good inspiration. It could be a fun little series. Take the expletives out and it'd be even better. Not quite enough time spent with all the characters that were introduced to get a good feel for them, but ... hopefully they get a bit more fleshed out in future episodes.
Ah, that's it! It felt like an episode, not a novel.
I finished it, which says enough.
Issue #1: Language, language, language. It's not necessary to use expletives to get your point across. While the GoodReads cover shows "Parental Advisory", the Amazon cover does NOT. It absolutely should. Had it done so, I would not have considered reading.
Issue #2: I'm not English and a large portion of the colloquialisms of that fine country didn't make sense until I'd re-read the section. That's probably just a me thing and doesn't detract from the work.
Overall, I thought it was an alright read, with some good inspiration. It could be a fun little series. Take the expletives out and it'd be even better. Not quite enough time spent with all the characters that were introduced to get a good feel for them, but ... hopefully they get a bit more fleshed out in future episodes.
Ah, that's it! It felt like an episode, not a novel.
I finished it, which says enough.
December 3, 2020
Engaging fun
This book is a page-turner. It starts a little too slow, wallowing in Brian’s ineptitude a little too long compared to the length of the book. But once it really gets going, it is hard to put down. The pop culture (mostly gaming) humor is spot on, with a dose of very British references that you will either get, or you can Google to explore the humor if not understanding bothers you.
He does follow Pratchett’s model: take a fantasy world and mix it with modern sensibilities (like computers beside ancient scrying vessels), and the author does an admirable job in his effort. Is it the same level as Pratchett? No. But comparing anything to an acknowledged master of the craft will inevitably fall short.
Reading this book was time well spent, and I will definitely be picking up the next book in the series.
This book is a page-turner. It starts a little too slow, wallowing in Brian’s ineptitude a little too long compared to the length of the book. But once it really gets going, it is hard to put down. The pop culture (mostly gaming) humor is spot on, with a dose of very British references that you will either get, or you can Google to explore the humor if not understanding bothers you.
He does follow Pratchett’s model: take a fantasy world and mix it with modern sensibilities (like computers beside ancient scrying vessels), and the author does an admirable job in his effort. Is it the same level as Pratchett? No. But comparing anything to an acknowledged master of the craft will inevitably fall short.
Reading this book was time well spent, and I will definitely be picking up the next book in the series.
May 27, 2021
The second star is for the author's marketing that got me to buy this book, albeit only on special for a pound. This is just a mash-up of every popular hero cliché with the hope that throwing everything together and using pop culture references will result in something new. It doesn't. The story is given no time to develop and the protagonist goes from zero to hero too quickly to make his story engaging. It reads as though a full length film was re-edited to make a single half-hour episode. It leans heavily on Buffy and Van Helsing but with far too much emphasis on a magic ring that 'guides' the hero. He never has to draw on his own resources because for every obstacle there's a magic trick. There are so many similar series that are so much better than this I certainly won't be reading any more of this one.
December 4, 2021
Brian Trelawney has hidden talents. For example leading a raid in World of Warcraft. This gives him the real life skill of herding cats, which on face value does not appear to be a major career path. So he gets the only job he can find, that of second hand car salesman. Which considering he only has a moped, is slightly ironic. However even the commute to work begins to show what he is good at, which is staying alive despite all the odds being against it. Brian likes his life; his gaming PC, his x-box and his sixty inch TV. Boring and predictable. All that changes when a vampire wants a test drive and Brian meets Helsing Xii who hands him a ring and starts him on this path as Helsing Xiii; the Chosen One in the obligatory leather trench coat and hat. This story is short, only 161 pages and squeezes in some fun and a fair bit of action in that short space.
August 15, 2020
Really enjoyed this book! It was quick, fun, and badass!
I liked following the story of Loser Brian as he becomes... well a loser but with powers. I think that the humour in this book will appeal to a certain group of readers more than others. That's not a bad a thing, all the better to Gareth for owning his specific niche. I found myself laughing at multiple points in the story.
Despite the ridiculousness of situations and the story itself, I found myself believing in the characters. Just because Brian inherits the position of Helsing doesn't mean at all that he has any clue about what's going on. I liked this.
It is a long series, but I definitely see myself picking up at least book 2 sometime in the future.
I liked following the story of Loser Brian as he becomes... well a loser but with powers. I think that the humour in this book will appeal to a certain group of readers more than others. That's not a bad a thing, all the better to Gareth for owning his specific niche. I found myself laughing at multiple points in the story.
Despite the ridiculousness of situations and the story itself, I found myself believing in the characters. Just because Brian inherits the position of Helsing doesn't mean at all that he has any clue about what's going on. I liked this.
It is a long series, but I definitely see myself picking up at least book 2 sometime in the future.
March 9, 2023
I received this book for free and am voluntarily posting this review. Any opinions expressed here in are my own.
The title character is in book is absolutely the last person who anyone would pick to fight any paranormal creatures. Yet, a man who is more comfortable playing Xbox games at home than dealing with people and truly living his life has become the chosen one. This story has many comical moments as Brian grapples to find his way in his new role. Really lighthearted fun and I look forward to the next book in this series.
Hannibal Hills has quickly become one of my favorite narrators. His tongue firmly planted in his cheek as he narrates this one with particular voices for each character and joy in his voice for each strange and funny situation.
The title character is in book is absolutely the last person who anyone would pick to fight any paranormal creatures. Yet, a man who is more comfortable playing Xbox games at home than dealing with people and truly living his life has become the chosen one. This story has many comical moments as Brian grapples to find his way in his new role. Really lighthearted fun and I look forward to the next book in this series.
Hannibal Hills has quickly become one of my favorite narrators. His tongue firmly planted in his cheek as he narrates this one with particular voices for each character and joy in his voice for each strange and funny situation.
August 14, 2022
Awesome
This is one of the funniest books, with most relatable hero, I've read in recent years. It's the funny little asides (like the fact his ex stole his dog) which really elevate the story above the average fantasy/sci-fi books available. I'm a huge Pratchett fan, and like the author says in the foreword this isn't Pratchett, it isn't Discworld, but it is Pratchett adjacent. The dynamics between the characters have just enough of an echo of Pratchetts watch to be funny while also being very different. For me, it scratches an itch I've had since the great Sir Terry Pratchett died.
This is one of the funniest books, with most relatable hero, I've read in recent years. It's the funny little asides (like the fact his ex stole his dog) which really elevate the story above the average fantasy/sci-fi books available. I'm a huge Pratchett fan, and like the author says in the foreword this isn't Pratchett, it isn't Discworld, but it is Pratchett adjacent. The dynamics between the characters have just enough of an echo of Pratchetts watch to be funny while also being very different. For me, it scratches an itch I've had since the great Sir Terry Pratchett died.
July 27, 2020
Great fun
Brian is a loser in every sense of the word. Through no particular fault of his own, he becomes the latest (13th) in a line of Helsings - a vampire hunter, gifted with preternatural powers to defeat vampires and other assorted monsters.
The style of writing is a very British one, but reminds me of the Harry Dresden series, and has similar potential to expand into a very enjoyable and increasingly complex magical world. I look forward to reading the next Brian Helsing novel...
Brian is a loser in every sense of the word. Through no particular fault of his own, he becomes the latest (13th) in a line of Helsings - a vampire hunter, gifted with preternatural powers to defeat vampires and other assorted monsters.
The style of writing is a very British one, but reminds me of the Harry Dresden series, and has similar potential to expand into a very enjoyable and increasingly complex magical world. I look forward to reading the next Brian Helsing novel...
January 4, 2021
A great intro to Brian Helsing. Fast and Funny read.
I got the first in the series free but will definitely be buying further episodes. Brian, a weak willed, lanky, nerd with no prospects, finds himself the next in a long line of heroic monster hunters. But this is no 'one man band' story. There's admin and a team of tutors. Will they accept him as the new Helsing? Will Brian accept he's the new Helsing? A fast and funny read mixing the traditional with technology. Recommended.
I got the first in the series free but will definitely be buying further episodes. Brian, a weak willed, lanky, nerd with no prospects, finds himself the next in a long line of heroic monster hunters. But this is no 'one man band' story. There's admin and a team of tutors. Will they accept him as the new Helsing? Will Brian accept he's the new Helsing? A fast and funny read mixing the traditional with technology. Recommended.
September 1, 2018
Damn, I liked this book
Snark, it has it.
British English, phrases, language, intriguing for an American
A reluctant hero, quite inept in many aspects of life.
Trading up from a scooter to a rocking Camaro.
Taking out 3 🔥 women, 2 with negative and 1 with positive connotations.
Just read the book, you'll enjoy it, and thanks for putting the follow-up on unlimited, probably the best deal running from Amazon.
Snark, it has it.
British English, phrases, language, intriguing for an American
A reluctant hero, quite inept in many aspects of life.
Trading up from a scooter to a rocking Camaro.
Taking out 3 🔥 women, 2 with negative and 1 with positive connotations.
Just read the book, you'll enjoy it, and thanks for putting the follow-up on unlimited, probably the best deal running from Amazon.
October 20, 2018
I do not know if I like it or not
After reading all the good reviews, I wanted to try this book. I do not agree with others that it is funny. I think the language and the kind of conversations are odd and even the masters seem not to be serious about the tasks. I remember one funny thought from Helsing not more. Furthermore, the end of the book was too fast. I will give the second book a try, because I already installed it, otherwise I would not read more.
After reading all the good reviews, I wanted to try this book. I do not agree with others that it is funny. I think the language and the kind of conversations are odd and even the masters seem not to be serious about the tasks. I remember one funny thought from Helsing not more. Furthermore, the end of the book was too fast. I will give the second book a try, because I already installed it, otherwise I would not read more.
July 25, 2020
Turns the Vampire Hunter tropes inside out.
If you enjoy books about a lovable loser overcoming the odds, give Brian Helsing a little of your time. Okay, "lovable" might be a stretch and "loser" is putting it mildly but, you get the idea. There is plenty of humor to go around and I enjoyed getting to know Brian, Neil, and "The Masters" who train Brian using highly suspect methods.
If you enjoy books about a lovable loser overcoming the odds, give Brian Helsing a little of your time. Okay, "lovable" might be a stretch and "loser" is putting it mildly but, you get the idea. There is plenty of humor to go around and I enjoyed getting to know Brian, Neil, and "The Masters" who train Brian using highly suspect methods.
July 29, 2020
A long, short story. Started ho-hum and ended the same way. The character Brian was not interesting. In fact, I was hoping the monsters would eat him and end this read. But surprise! It ended early anyway. I see the rest of the novel is presented as separate books. Sort of serial approach used by Dickens. His books were great, this one not at all. Luckily I read it from the Kindle Unlimited library. I need not read any more from this writer.
August 4, 2020
Good story - quick fun read
Enjoyed the read, though I feel it would have been better without most of the curse words. I had to look up some of the British slang, but that was very easily done after I thought to change my Kindle dictionary from US to English (UK). Most of the words, like snog, will be familiar to those that have watched Monty python, Dr Who, or other BBC shows. Others, not so much.
Enjoyed the read, though I feel it would have been better without most of the curse words. I had to look up some of the British slang, but that was very easily done after I thought to change my Kindle dictionary from US to English (UK). Most of the words, like snog, will be familiar to those that have watched Monty python, Dr Who, or other BBC shows. Others, not so much.
August 5, 2020
Who wouldn't laugh at Brian. He is not what you would expect at all from someone who is supposed to be the bane of the undead and demons.
This reminds me somewhat of Terry Pratchett as it is more of the comedic fantasy.
The book you can't really take that seriously but it is a great read with an unlikely hero. All in all it was a fun read and one I would recommend if you want an easier read that is purely for fun
This reminds me somewhat of Terry Pratchett as it is more of the comedic fantasy.
The book you can't really take that seriously but it is a great read with an unlikely hero. All in all it was a fun read and one I would recommend if you want an easier read that is purely for fun
Displaying 1 - 30 of 140 reviews