Amare è lasciare andare la paura

by Gerald G. Jampolsky

Gerald Jampolsky ci guida alla scoperta di un modo efficace per abbandonare e non lasciarci più condizionare dai rancori del passato e dalle ossessioni del futuro, rendendo noi stessi e la nostra vita migliori perché, finalmente, la nostra energia può esprimersi nel presente.

E' un momento fondamentale, perché cominciamo a vedere, sentire e pensare in maniera diversa.
"Durante il giorno, quando stai per essere preso dalla paura, ricorda a te stesso che puoi invece sperimentare l'Amore", dice Gerald Jampolsky.

L'autore, attraverso esercizi e suggerimenti tratti dalla propria esperienza personale, indica il percorso per comprendere che le paure sono un freno che ci impedisce di vivere pienamente e che non dobbiamo più permettere a queste emozioni negative di limitarci.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Spirituality, Relationships, Love, Philosophy

144 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1979

About the author

Gerald G. Jampolsky, MD, is an internationally recognized authority in the fields of psychiatry, health, business, and education. He has published extensively, including classic bestsellers Forgiveness, Teach Only Love, and Love is Letting Go of Fear.

Reviews

[Kimber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jampolsky shares from his life practices with wisdom and humility & gives examples of how these core concepts can be applied. He teaches 12 "lessons" that can be practiced individually- he suggests choosing one a day to concentrate on. While I wrote down some reminders- I preferred this serving as a reading where I can take what is useful at the moment- keeping one lesson written onto an index card for further practice. This could serve as an ACIM practice or as a gateway for further studies. Some of these concepts are most useful as part of a holistically based spiritual practice.

[Luminea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Long before The Secret was trendy, this little book presented the idea that our thoughts create our reality, and that what we expect from life is what we get. These are powerful concepts and revolutionary ideas, especially for the time of the original publication date. There are parts of this book that I struggle with, probably because these are lessons that I need to focus on, like fully accepting and forgiving people in my life who have repeatedly hurt me, and choosing to view them as inherently good people. Perhaps I need to read this book through several more times and sit with these ideas longer in order to fully absorb the lessons. This book does not sugar coat and focus on manifesting what you want, like other books about creating your own reality. This one is about accepting responsibility for your thoughts and your life, especially when you don't like the life you have created. It's a tough pill to swallow, but I see how it can lead to greater happiness and freedom in time by empowering you to take control of your life and not be a victim. Lots here to contemplate.

[Lee Harmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not the usual type of selection for a religion blog, is it? I’m not sure God is even mentioned in the book. But Love is, and God is Love, right? For all you Bible scholars out there, we shouldn’t get so wrapped up in our fascinating scholarly pursuits that we forget the reason for our religion in the first place.

At the risk of over-analyzing a simple book with a simple message, I confess it struck a chord with me partly because of my recent studies in the Gospel of John. Here’s why: like many scriptures, this book pits good against evil as clearly as God versus Satan, only this time it’s love versus fear. If, at the moment, one of the two (love or fear) is guiding your actions and thoughts, the other is not. Why? Well, according to Jerry, it’s because love lives in the present, and fear lives in a reflection of the past into the future. This is a lesson taught over and over. Let go of the past and future, and live in the present.

As Jerry says in the book, “Wouldn’t our lives be more meaningful if we looked to what has no beginning and no ending as our reality? Only Love fits this definition of the eternal. Everything else is transitory and therefore meaningless.”

Now, doesn’t that sound an awful lot like John, the Gospel of Love? Eternal life is ours for the grasping, by living in the eternal now. I’m reminded of another book review I just completed: My Stroke of Insight.

This is a short little book with cute illustrations that you can read in a couple hours. It’s a 25th anniversary reprint of a book that made a big splash in 1974, and it’s worth the two-hour investment.

[Mark Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fear lives in us all. Reading this book helps me overcome many senseless worries. I went from shy to a public speaker using this book.

I read it often and refer it to everyone. We all have a fear that limits us from our potential success.

[Monica Vrtiska · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would totally give this book 5 stars, and maybe I'm being too tough a critic, but I'm left thinking it's all good and great to follow all his lessons, but should we love and accept everyone? Ok that's a bad question but if my husband is a serial cheater or my kids are completely disrespectful, I kept asking myself how I can reconcile the two. This book has awesome insight and will definitely help me but I thought he could have at least added a few words about when boundaries need to be set. This is a book worth reading, but it leaves me with questions.

[Gena Tarrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Talks about letting go of fear to truly love and live. Quick read. Liked one paragraph particularly about forgiveness:

"The unforgiving mind, contrasted with the forgiving mind, is confused, afraid, and full of fear. It is certain of the interpretation it places on its perceptions of others. It is certain of the justification of its anger and the correctness of its condemning judgment. The unforgiving mind rigidly sees the past and future as the same and is resistant to change. It does not want the future to be different from the past. The unforgiving mind sees itself as innocent and others as guilty. it thrives on conflict and on being right, and it sees inner peace as its enemy. It perceives everything as separate. "

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book fell into my hands at a Cancer Society yard sale last month. I thumbed through it and noticed the theme of staying in the present moment and focusing on the "Now". I've been working on "The Power of Now" for months, and I intend to master the concepts and break some of my thought patterns that I've learned to think of as habits.

"Love Is Letting Go of Fear" was published in the late seventies and I found myself relieved to follow Jampolsky's approach to the Now at what I've been calling a "fifth-grade" level. I benefitted from and appreciate the simplified style. He brought in many basic laws of the universe including the laws of attraction and abundance, and kept it concise and productive. I'm going to seek out more of Jampolsky's books as I continue to study the Eckhart Tolle book.

[AnnMarie Latimer · Rating 5 out of 5]

a quote from the book: "Many of our attempts to correct others, even when we believe we are offering constructive criticism, are really attempts to attack them by demonstrating their wrongness and our rightness." Quote from: Love Is Letting Go Of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.

I found this book very insightful and helpful to understand a new way of looking at our own actions and thoughts.

[Iona Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important and inspiring book with the message – let go of fear and love everyone.

The titles of the 12 lessons are from The Course in Miracles

They are:

1) All that I give is given to myself.
2) Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
3) I am never upset for the reason I think.
4) I am determined to see things differently.
5) I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.
6) I am not the victim of the world I see.
7) Today I will judge nothing that occurs.
8) This instant is the only time there is.
9) The past is over – it can touch me not.
10) I could see peace instead of this.
11) I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
12) I am responsible for what I see.

Jerry Jampolsky writes in a personal style and presents inspiring stories of people who have transformed their life for the better by reading the book.

Jerry is involved with Attitudinal Healing, which is self-healing based on the principle that it is not other people or situations that cause us to be upset but our own thoughts and attitudes concerning those things. At the core of these principles is forgiveness. Forgiveness is a decision to no longer attack oneself and not to suffer, but be happy, let go of judgments, stop hurting others and ourselves and stop “recycling anger and fear”.

“Forgiveness is the bridge to compassion, to inner peace, and to a peaceful world.”

The author wrote the book because he wanted to learn inner peace.

He quotes the Course in Miracles:

“Teach only love for that is what you are.”

The book was published in 1979 and has sold millions of copies since then. It deals with inner healing and spiritual transformation.

The main principles of the book are “having a willingness to see the world differently; seeing the value in letting go of our control issues, judgments and grievances; and making forgiveness as important as breathing”.

By practising the lessons in a Course in Miracles, Jerry began to experience a sense of inner peace and to see how everyone he met was his teacher.

We learn about forgiveness, getting and giving and retraining the mind.

We learn that all minds are joined and are one. We cannot change other people but we can change how we perceive the world, others and ourselves.

There are only two emotions, love and fear. Love is our true reality. Fear is something our mind has made up and is therefore unreal.

What we experience is our state of mind projected outward. If our state of mind is well-being, love and peace, that is what we will project and thus experience.

There are 12 lessons and we should do one each day.

“The law of love is that you are love, and that as you give love to others you teach yourself what you are.”

We learn about letting go of “attack thoughts” and choosing peace instead.

We learn that we are not victims and that only our loving thoughts are real. We learn not to judge others and this is another way of letting go of fear and experiencing love.

“See everyone you meet or think about as either extending love or as being fearful and sending out a call for help, which is a request for love.”

The book is filled with entertaining cartoons.

To sum up, this is an original, enlightening book which I would highly recommend. It pushes one to take a decisive step forward in one’s spiritual development. If everyone were to read this book and transform fear to love, then there would be no more wars.

[Otilia · Rating 2 out of 5]

‘Forgiveness means correcting our misperception that the other person harmed us.’


This is dangerous shit. Sorry but abuse survivors don’t need to read this and feel guilty for protecting themselves from harm.

[Hollis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gerald Jampolsky has greatly simplified some of the essential ideas in A Course in Miracles.

[Linda O · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this in a day. Was pretty standard. Gave some good reminders, but nothing groundbreaking.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The new introductory material was 21% of the Kindle Edition I’m reading. Then there was yet more Introduction, bringing us to a whopping 39% of the book. It was all too much; where was the editor? I recommend you just read Carlos Santana’s brief intro and then cut to the book. I thought the author’s new Intro (approx pages 22-39% in the Kindle edition) was terrible: it makes big sweeping claims that are offensively not true if you’re not a middle class white man like him, such as only our thoughts can hurt us and each of us has a little bit of Hitler inside. BARF.

In the daily lessons part, the author continues to make sweeping claims that he states as universal truths, but that any decent therapist would know do not apply to all groups. His first one is about giving “To give is to receive—this is the law of Love. Under this law, when we give our Love away to others we gain, and whatever we give we simultaneously receive.” This is a massively dangerous claim to make if the giver is someone in a co-dependent relationship with a narcissist. I am a recovering co-dependent and if I had been told this instead of told how to start practicing boundaries and distancing myself from narcissists, I would be a miserable wreck right now with a completely different life (of unpaid servitude). The brevity of the book when making advice like this is a hindrance. Here he should have taken the time to explain that unconditional love and giving applies when you are receiving unconditional love in return, or when your giving won’t hurt you in any way.

There are nuggets of truth in this book, such as the following “When we expect others to satisfy our desires, and they disappoint us, as they inevitably must, we experience distress. This distress can take the form of frustration, disappointment, anger, depression, or illness. As a result, we are likely to feel trapped, limited, rejected, or attacked.” He is correct that we have to take care of ourselves and not expect someone else to fulfill our needs (that expectation is narcissism). But in such a short book, too much of it is not working for me, as per examples above. It’s great that it has helped so many people, but I am not one of them.

His second lesson was that we can forgive everyone because no one has actually ever hurt us, and he gave an example in which he phoned someone with a $500 unpaid bill and told him he forgave him. Sounds obnoxiously self-righteous and passive-aggressive to call someone and tell them that. And how lucky for him that he could afford to forgive a $500 bill! The idea that no one has ever hurt us is quite a privileged position to take. What if he was a black woman living in the segregated south who lost her house because the lost $500 meant she couldn’t pay her mortgage? Could he really then have said that no one had ever hurt another? I could give more counter-examples, but I won’t belabor the point. He has quite a lack of imagination for someone who has heard so many tragic stories as a therapist. This is when I quit the book.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars, rounded up:

While there are some “nuggets of wisdom” within this book, I struggle to get behind some of the points the author makes. For example, a thread throughout the book suggests that we must forgive to let go of fear, and thus, to both love and end our suffering. When I read this claim, I thought of someone who might be in a deep, dark, painful place and who, in looking for some guidance, might decide to forgive someone who caused that person harm. Forgiveness is indeed a part of the healing process, according to many people doing mental health work (e.g., Judith Herman, etc.). However (yes, I am using one of the author’s “[words to avoid]”), we need not let forgiveness exist without boundaries. As Brené Brown, a researcher whose work holds great credibility (something this book lacks, by the way—I mean, I could forgive the foreword by musician Carlos Santana if there were at least some references to back up author Jampolsky’s assertions), points out, people who are the most compassionate (a loving emotion) have great boundaries. What I am getting at is that we may forgive others for ourselves as a part of our own healing process but need not allow people to hurt us again; this is a crucial missing component of Jampolsky’s piece.

Once I started thinking more about this, I grew less invested in this book. Overall, this book contains some helpful CBT-esque frameworks for challenging self-sabotaging beliefs, but contradicts itself in allowing room for people to self-sabotage through forgiving without boundaries. Jampolsky’s work would not be my first bibliotherapeutic recommendation for someone going through a tough time due to its toxic positivity.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

I found this book is very grounding and a good reminder of the ways we can help achieve our own peace.

That being said, it lacked nuance, and I would have gotten more out of it if the author addressed some of the questions his thesis poses. For example, a core tenant of this book is that we should seek to forgive always. But I think many of us would see limits to what is helpful to forgive. Does the author think there are limits? Similarly, the author says you should always choose peace over conflict including constructive criticism. I think the author is primarily referring to inner conflict/peace, but as a chronic conflict avoider, I definitely would like to know more of the times the author thinks a certain level of conflict might be helpful. Finally, a central idea of the author is that we have ownership of our thoughts, which is true, but again lacks nuance for a number of ways that might be more challenging, ex/ anxiety, depression, etc. I would be curious to see how the author feels about the intersection of his philosophy and psychiatric diagnosis (especially as a psychiatrist himself).

All this to say this book is only like 100 pages, large font, and has drawings, but this is possibly my longest good reads review, so definitely thought provoking and worth a read.

[Connie Howell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second time I have read this book. The first time was many years ago. I loved it then and I love it now. It is a beautiful book,practical and doable and we re given personal examples from Gerry about how he overcame some of his difficult challenges.

[Alec Lindley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gracias a este libro tengo flaca

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book based on a recommendation from a book (You've Got to Read This Book!) and based on the highly positive reviews it has received. The principles that Dr. Jampolsky highlights are certainly not ground-breaking but he really gets the message across in this very quick, little book that includes some cartoons to illustrate his points.

This is probably one of those little jems that everyone could afford to read once. It's essentially a primer - boiling down a lot of the "self-help" concepts into this one book.

There was a section I found particularly relevant, not only for myself but based on some conversations and advice I recently gave.

"The problem, of course, is that nothing in our external world will continuously and totally satisfy us. Under the world's law we continuously search but never find. We frequently think our inner well is empty and that we are in need. We then try to fulfill our imagined needs through other people.

When we expect others to satisfy our desired, and they disappoint us, as they inevitably must, we experience distress. This distress can take the form of frustration, disappointment, anger, depression or illness. As a result, we are likely to feel trapped, limited, rejected, or attacked.

When we are feeling unloved and depressed and empty inside, finding someone to give us Love is not really the solution. What is helpful is to Love..."

It all boils down to love and letting go of fear and what stops us from giving and ultimately, receiving love.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

My therapist suggested that I read this little gem of a book. It was written over 30 years ago and I can still see why people still use the tools to put in their psychological tool bag. All humans are gripped with fear in our lives but the simple premise of this book is that if you have fear in you heart how can you love. Fear then becomes your driving force for you to manifest ways of not being able to forgive yourself or others. The author states that Fear and Love can not coexist at the same time. It's impossible.

The book centers on how our preceptions about the world, ourselves and others create the world we live in...Fear based, shame, guilt, anger and the he is trying to make the reader understand that there are ways to achieve inner peace by observing your thoughts, behaviors and how you can reframe your personal world to provide inner peace within yourself and it will improve the quality of life for you and any relationship you have.

In a way, it is a self help book but sometimes we need some tips to make our personal worlds better.
It is also provides meditative things to think of at the end of each chapter. The book is only 133 pages but it will be one I will refer to quite frequently because I admittedly can say my mind can distort the way I think things are when they really that way at all.

I would highly recommend this little book to at least see a different perspective and how it can enrich your life like it has for millions for about 40 years or so

[Brody Meade · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was shared with me at a point in my life where I was scared to fall in love & reface the challenges that come along with that journey. There was a quote in the book that resonated with me and helped alleviate that fear - “Love itself remains constant; only the particular body from whom we sometimes come to expect it may change.”

Love is really all around us as long as you tune in. It never disappears, just changes form.

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not expect to have this happen with this book, but it helped me let go of a grudge I've been holding for two years, which was making me sick even physically. Definitely a nice set of rules to live by, I am applying this wherever and whenever I can, it really makes life easier.

[Erin Vincent · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me as I was struggling to deal with my mom’s dementia, and my goodness, this was JUST what I needed. This is one of the books that I will carry with me in my mind and heart for the rest of my life. I believe I will be a better person just for having read it, and especially because I took my time reading it so that I could fully understand and implement what it talked about. This was SO much more helpful than I ever could have expected. I would absolutely recommend this book to any/every person.

[Jonah Sider-Echenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond the occasional reference to a higher power, this book has some really nice lessons, practices, and visualizations. I think I’m usually turned off to “self-help” books because the solutions the authors present are either very preachy or seemingly so self-evident as to be devoid of meaning. Much in this book feels self-evident, but sometimes it’s good to have a reminder to refocus your mind; you must be in the right space to listen. I think I’m finally in that space, and I really did enjoy this book.

[Judy Phin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version of the book which had an initial interview in the beginning, I found this section more valuable than the actual content of the book. The concept and what he is trying to say is lovely, there are a few key points that he makes about love which are very valuable and have taken away from this book, other than that, it seems very surface level.

The biggest take away for me that made this book stand out was the idea that we are function from either love or fear... so that any other emotion that is being expressed by a person that isn't love, instead of seeing it as 'Anger', 'sadness', 'shame', etc. see it as 'this person is currently experiencing a lack of love, and is therefore expressing themselves in any way that they know best'. This idea brought such a beautiful compassionate perspective to dealing with not just other people but ourselves... this person isn't attacking me, they are either feeling the lack of love from themselves, from me, or something entirely different. Same goes for myself, if i am feeling angry, i am actually feeling a lack of love in this moment... its such a humbling and kind way to look at the world. I found this point quite profound.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a simple, yet complex book at the same time. A lot of the ideas are repeated over and over which I'm pretty sure is for the readers benefit. The author really wants certain things to sink in.

At points it gets a bit into hippie talk that I didn't fully grasp, but overall I got lots of new ideas and ways of thinking from this book. It's full of wise tidbits that when applied to your own life, can definitely create positive change.

Unlike lots of books of this 'type', the author's message was very clear and was laid out on every page. You never had to wonder what he was actually getting at or what you were supposed to do in order to change. It was all right there, which I loved.

[Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

As far as practical how-to guides go, this is worth a read for those just beginning to let go of anxiety, depression and the like, and moving into a more conscious state of being. For those already well into their journey, there is nothing profound in this, just a simple reminder to truly be in the present and remove judgment/projections.

The cartoons are heartwarming and speak to the visually-oriented person. The real-life examples are relatable for all, and help provide empathic understanding.

[Nia Alexieva · Rating 2 out of 5]

somebody told me this had very insightful ideas, so i put it in my reading list and then randomly decided to pick it up. why i did not realise this is a self help book, i do not know to this day. I feel bad because I did really see a lot of potential in the author’s words, but some of the concepts were so far-fetched and basically impossible, at least for me, to apply to any reality i might be living in. I just don’t think I’ve reached the age yet of really appreciating self-help books. Maybe after a grand mid-life crisis my opinion will have changed??

[Fi · Rating 2 out of 5]

After 20 pages of introduction letting me know how much this book has helped others, and how great it is...I got to the actual book.

Just love and forgive, and everything will be grand.

Just stating sentences about life and meaning with random illustrations in between does not make a good book, self-help or otherwise.

Whilst there are some wise ideas, particularly our ability to choose how we perceive, I didn't appreciate the self-helpy 2 cents of psychology over-simplification of human emotion-ness.
It riled me up. No thank you.

[Wendy Barton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A MUST read for all... simple and to the point! Jerry is a friend and great writer... Enjoy!

[Daron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life. It taught me a lot about love and forgiveness. It helps me to love the small and simple joys of life.