If I Let You Go

by Ashley Dufault

An underground bunker. Rebels desperate to open its doors. It’s an age old-question: should they stay, or should they go?

In the near-future United States, war threatens to end humanity. Survivors follow a ruthless government in hopes of a better future. But Edwin, recently transplanted into the ruling class, discovers several secrets – ones leaders would die to keep – including that the bunker’s life support systems are failing. Samuel Garley, leader of the compound, maintains that certain death waits outside.

And then Airlee, a newly incarcerated rebel, flees to the outdoors, and returns.

Despite most of the population’s inability to speak, news of Airlee’s adventure pushes the rebellion into overdrive. Branded as traitors, they’re pushed to find out how far they’ll go to stay alive. They all face a choice: rush headfirst into the horrifying unknown, or remain in the bunker and live a recurring nightmare. One thing is for certain: time is running out.

Told in the tradition of George Orwell's 1984, Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, and Kurt Vonnegut's short story "Harrison Bergeron," this stunning apocalyptic story hones in on humanity's center.

A writer of startling imaginative vision, Ashley Dufault combines science and psychology in an innovative work of speculative fiction that offers a snapshot of a future that is both bizarre and frighteningly familiar. Dufault examines some of our society’s biggest challenges in this first novel in a thrilling dystopian series that is bold, fascinating, and altogether magnificent.

Genres: Fiction

280 pages, Paperback

First published November 24, 2017

About the author

Ashley Dufault lives in make-believe worlds and survives primarily on dark chocolate and iced green tea. She is the internationally published author of the acclaimed dystopian/post apocalyptic science fiction novel If I Let You Go, and is currently editing a paranormal horror (title TBD). When she's not inventing universes, gardening, or obsessing over her pets, she's helping writers on her blog at ashleydufault.com. She is a native of southern Massachusetts.

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Why I write:
Stories take on a life of their own. I love writing because it allows me to live uniquely fictional experiences safely from my home. I think my life is better because I'm able to live out so many lives in my work, and better appreciate the wonderful realities of my non-author life. I'm not trapped in one identity. When I sit down at my laptop, I can create any world imagineable. To be able to share those characters, ideas, and settings with readers is a gift.

Writing routine:
I devote an hour a day to writing and outlining, usually at night. The rest of my time is currently spent listening to chillwave soundtracks while I dive into editing. I talk more about my writing routine here: https://twitter.com/peneraserlove

Process:
It sometimes takes years for my ideas to formulate, but they nearly all take root the same way. After the first whisp of inspiration hits, I tweak ideas and environments, creating conflicts and dynamic characters and plot twists. Then when I'm ready, I open up Microsoft Word and tap away until I have an outline. Usually I get so into it that I complete it in one sitting.

Inspiration:
My stories are typically inspired by vivid dreams, usually dystopian, science fiction, or post apocalyptic in nature. It almost sounds like cheating, doesn't it? Most of my nightmares play out lucidly, allowing me to explore the underground bunker in If I Let You Go, walk with slow-moving zombies, and flee shapeshifters in the woods, all without ever actually feeling frightened. Most of my story ideas begin with flashes from dreams like these, and blossom into something new.

Reviews

[Stewart Hoffman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid debut from Ashley Dufault. It sets up a believable world, and populates it with characters worth reading about. I personally would have liked it to focus on Edwin’s story more, but on the whole, I appreciated this story of class struggles in a world devastated by biological warfare. If you’re a fan of grim dystopian fiction, this is worth a read.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading this book expecting your typical dystopian society, but what I found was a very dark and twisted small view of a tiny piece of this current world, one that I think will end up being a much larger story if this book continues into a series.

You learn about Edwin, as Edwin learns about himself and has his eyes opened to more than he realized existed than his small little personal cell and small confined working area which allows no personal contact. He believes in what he has been told, he is what he has been molded into, until he earns a promotion outside of his social sect. Then he begins to see and hear things are not exactly as he always thought they were.

There is a bit of rebellion going on, but not as much as one would expect in this warped existence. River who helps govern the sect, is part of the rebellion. I think there is a lot more to the story than the author has told us. She has left a lot of areas open with not much explanation yet as to how they became the way they are.

There is mutilation happening as a solution to keeping a segregated society, also as a punishment to becoming pregnant without being approved, almost like enforcing survival of the fitist, but with physical mutilations and population growth only by approved couples.

And while this is going on, they are all told everything they do is in support of a war, that no longer exists, and they must live in underground bunkers because the air is no longer safe to breathe, and while reading you think they must be the only ones surviving- existing like this, and then you find out, they are just one small group of people, there are others out in the world living in their own sets of rules, but you don’t really find out much about their story, only that they are a threat.

So, there are a lot of things going on in the book, and a lot of questions unanswered the author could take in any direction to complete a series on. I look forward to reading more and finding out about the past, what made the world exist the way it is now and what are the other factions they face, are they equally as demented in their treatment of their people, or do some have normal post-war lives? What will happen to Edwin, and also River who was part of the governing of that community but also part of the rebellion?

I guess only a sequel will tell. Definitely worth the read!

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not having a mouth is a literal nightmare, thank you very much.

If I Let You Go is a gritty sci-fi with the classic "big-bad-lie" about an underground world and supposed poisoned planet, with a unique twist of body horror that will leave you squirming.

Humanity lives in bunkers ruled by a strict class system. The Least Privileged - aka workers with no mouths - are forced to work to keep their society going.

The story hops around between a few different perspectives, with each chapter focusing on a particular character. Edwin is our main protagonist. He's the loyal Least Privileged who gets promoted and discovers the big-bad-lie. His arc from obedient grunt to reluctant rebel is compelling, even as some other characters feel underdeveloped and their alliances sometimes confusing.

Still, the story is good. It's creepy and emotionally charged. And as the twists piled up at the end I found myself wanting to know more about the greater universe, the war, the true bad guys (Those Federacy Jerks), and the next chapter for our characters.

[GP · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting concept but the story is a little disconnected

This post-apocalyptic story takes some intriguing turns combined with a hefty dose of.body horror. However, the story jumps around far too much. All the different POVs get.confusing and the writing isn't strong enough to the all the story threads together neatly.

[Jocelyn C · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great first novel about a dystopian world. I will admit that I was initially confused about the characters, but then it all became clear in the end. I had the privilege to meet this author; she is a wonderful storyteller! I can't wait for her next book.