Captivate The Science of Succeeding with People

by Vanessa Van Edwards

Publisher's Summary

Do you wish you could decode people? Do you want a formula for charisma? Do you want to know exactly what to say to your boss, your date, or your networking partner? You need to know how people work.

As a human behavior investigator, Vanessa Van Edwards studies the hidden forces that drive our behavior patterns in her lab - and she's cracked the code. In Captivate she shares a wealth of valuable shortcuts, systems, and behavior hacks for taking charge of interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren't the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science-backed, real-life manual on human behavior and a completely new approach to building connections.

Just like knowing the right formulas to use in chemistry or the right programming language to write code, the hacks in this book are simple ways to solve for people. For example:

The Social Game Plan: every party, networking event, and social situation has a predictable map - discover how to work a room and the sweet spot for making the most connections.

The Seven Microexpressions: learn how to speed-read the seven universal facial expressions and how they can be used to predict people's emotions.

Conversation Sparks: all conversations can be hacked - if you know how certain words generate dopamine in the people you meet.

When you understand the laws of human behavior, you can get along with anyone, and your influence, impact, and income will increase as a result. What's more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation - negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches. You will never interact in the same way again.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2017 Vanessa Van Edwards (P)2017 Penguin Audio

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Communication, Business, Personal Development, Leadership

Audible Audio

First published April 25, 2017

About the author

Vanessa Van Edwards is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, which has been translated into 16 languages. As founder of Science of People, Vanessa researches human behavior, communication and the science of relationships. Her innovative work has been featured on CNN, NPR, Fast Company, and Entrepreneur magazine. Her YouTube videos and viral TEDx London Talk have been seen by over 47 million people. For over a decade, Vanessa has been teaching science-backed people skills to audiences around the world, including SXSW and MIT, and at companies including Google, Dove, Microsoft, Facebook, Comcast, and American Express. Her next book Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is due out in March, 2022.

Reviews

[Sean Owen · Rating 1 out of 5]

The real benefit to slogging my way through "Captivate" is that I now have a new worst book I've read all the way through. You know you're in for a real turd when the dedication is "Dedicated to anyone who has ever felt awkward in a social situation. You are so not alone" Like OH MY GOD, TOTALLY. Believe it or not things actually get worse as you go. She has an inability to write without using vacuous slang. Every other sentence is about "hacking" social situations or "leveling up" your relationships. The book is written for nonreaders and numerous info boxes and distracting links appear between nearly every paragraph.

The central argument of the book is that human beings are all the same and by understanding the rules of behavior you can figure out how to advance yourself in social situations. If your primary goal in interacting with others is to figure out how to get something or to advance yourself this might seem like a compelling topic. Even if your goals are that shallow "Captivate" is a pretty weak resource. The evidence the author pulls together to make her case is nearly as good as double-blind, peer-reviewed studies, namely polls she posted on her twitter page.

This is clearly targetted at the people who find profundity in tedious intellectual lightweights like Malcolm Gladwell and his TED talk ilk. They are bad enough, but "Captivate" brings those shallow waters to a new low. If you are really looking for a guide on how to better interact with people go dig up a copy of Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've purchased Vanessa Van Edwards' body language and Creative Live Power of Happiness courses, so I was very pleased to see so much brand new content covered in Captivate.
The mix of both personal and professional examples provided made this book useful for considering how to improve all my different types of relationships. The examples and conversation starters feel authentic throughout the book.

This is the sort of business networking handbook I would read and recommend my colleagues review before our biggest conferences each year because so much time and money is sunk into those events. This provides great ideas on how I can get the most out of trade shows and events.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who knew that if an acquaintance says, "I love chocolate," it is a major social mistake to share and explain my preference for peanut butter?! Apparently, it follows from a first principle of social behavior that I should instead shift subjects until landing on authentic common ground. For example, it would be much better to say, "If you love chocolate do you happen to enjoy chocolate peanut butter yogurt? Yes?! Me too!! I am totally with you. Chocolate peanut butter yogurt is the best!!" Captivate is full of practical tips and insights to help social misfits navigate the world. My sense is that the worth of the book is a function of the personality of the reader. Hence three stars. My favorite advice in the book says to increase my odds by avoiding the "kinds of events that make you (me) unhappy." That I can do!

[Jess the Shelf-Declared Bibliophile · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 51%. This was just entirely too repetitive and frankly, boring. I can see how some people could benefit from it and might find it enlightening, but it’s just not a fit for me.

[Megsimps · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, from the stories Vanessa shares about her own trial and error to the useful, science-based methods she advises for different social interactions. This book taught me new things, made me laugh out loud and is extremely useful. I particularly like how everything feels actionable. I'd finish a chapter and be able to implement its lesson right away. I especially liked Chapter 12, Reveal. The lessons found in that chapter are helping to make me a better storyteller, which is something I need professionally!

[Lorilin · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an introvert who was basically raised by wolves, I found so much good stuff in this book. There's a ton of guidance on relating to and reading people, and I learned a lot. Glowing review TK.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly believe that I could happily live life as a hermit. Not because I hate people. I love people. Sometimes though, I don't know what to say to them. This book has helped me a great deal. As a long-suffering introvert, I've learned from this book how people work. Her website is just a fun and entertaining as the book. I now know how to interact with people and not feel like an idiot. For that alone, this book gets 5 stars from me.

[Chris Rutledge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to receive a review copy of Captivate - it is fantastic! For all of you "recovering awkward people" out there, this book is a gold mine of useful tips, clearly presented, to enable you to "hack" any awkward social situation. Like her amazing YouTube videos, television appearances, and blogs, Van Edwards is engaging, warm, and the best friend we all wish we had!

[hotsake (André Troesch) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fine book and has lots of information however it wasn't the information that I wanted, expected, or was looking for.

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a self proclaimed extrovert, I was hesitant about buying this book because I thought it was geared only toward introverts. Wow, how wrong I was. Vanessa, was able to provide hacks, challenges, and insights into ways make me into the best version of myself. From where to stand in a room to how to appropriately thank people based on their love language. Her hacks/lessons occasionally conjured up the reaction of "oh S*** I do that." It is those moments that made me really love this book because she was willing to call us all out on our poor social form (looking down at a phone or hands in the pockets). Not only did she illuminate the negative connotation with that form, but she actually provided simple hacks to remedy these issues.

Even if you are an extrovert who thinks they understand people, you should buy this book. Because like me, I am sure there are some negative social cues (that I was totally unaware of too!) that you possess that Vanessa will help hack.

[Mehrsa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This sentence was actually in the book: "leverage your vulnerability to elevate your relationships." There was some interesting tidbits in here for schmoozing in cocktail parties and stuff, but so there were so many times where she said "utilize" and "leverage" and "connect" that I just could not take it seriously. However, I have no doubt that this book is actually very helpful if one is a less cynical person than I am. Can you read the contempt on my face? If not, see the chapter on reading emotions.

[Nici · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting summary of all kinds of topics about relationships and conversations.
It explains personality types, love languages, core values, body language, storytelling and much more.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Introverts and logical people would find this book useful. Each chapter provides examples, "before" and "after" dialogues, and a list of actions (which research has demonstrated to be effective). After finishing each chapter, practice the techniques before moving on. While some of the suggestions are simple (like having hand gestures to make your talk more engaging to the listener), you need to develop that habit and be able to do it naturally. Or you can sign up for the digital bonus material at scienceofpeople.com/toolbox.

There are some chapters that highlight concepts from other authors, such as Paul Ekman (Emotions Revealed) and Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages). If you've already read these books, the material is redundant. There are also snippets of repeated information or research from "Predictably Irrational" by Dan Ariely and "Influence" by Robert Cialdini.

[Paige Hendrix · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an educator and entrepreneur, I'm a geek for a book that teaches me something new I can bring to my students or my business. In particular, I loved Chapter 10 "Connect: How to Speak So People Listen" because it dives into the power of storytelling. As she weaves together examples like the alternative comedy show "The Last Show I Do Before I Go on Medication", the genesis of Beanie Babies and perfecting an authentic rallying cry during fundraising calls for Emory, Vanessa wraps powerful research in relatable and engaging stories. With her own powerful storytelling that reminds me of Malcolm Gladwell, she delivers a book rich with tools that the reader can quickly apply to their personal or professional life.

[Glen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won an ARC of this book in a goodreads drawing.

A very good book about how to win friends and influence people, using science as a guide.

[Joel Witzig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vanessa Van Edwards appeared on the YouTube channel “Diary of a CEO” that I was watching at the end of last year and I absolutely loved her episode. Talk about Captivate, I was completely drawn to her as a speaker and how she presented herself, and I was smiling and laughing throughout the whole talk as she described her successful communication habits because I could tell they were working -they were working on me! Unfortunately, while her personal voice still shined through in her writing, the lessons and messages of the book weren’t all I had hoped they would be. I think overall I was a bit overwhelmed by the information shared in the book and it seemed hard to take in and remember all at once. Maybe you’re supposed to spread out the amount of time you read the book, but I would prefer themes and lessons that I can digest and understand quickly and easily, especially with topics of this nature. I did like the polls and experiments that were mentioned, the summaries at the end of each chapter, and the hands on tools and practices that were suggested for the reader. Overall, it was a good baseline or reminder for how to do many of the communication things we should already be naturally doing, and it felt like a good jumping off point. However, I definitely would not recommend it as an end all be all resource and do not think that it introduced anything overly revolutionary.

[Matthew Huang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally finished it! I was introduced to this book after listening to a podcast episode by her on the Diary of a CEO. Super interesting episode on Body Language if anyone’s interested!

Lexi finds this cover so ironic because the book is about improving your social skills, but the author looks so fake and inauthentic on the cover lol

Over all I thought this book was full of small helpful action steps I can take to improve my soft skills as a professional. Reminded me a lot of Atomic Habits! But to be honest, I would’ve preferred to just listen to the 2 hour episode, because basically everything she shared in the interview was more or less the same as in the book.

One random fact I learned.
“Doctors once thought babies learned to smile by mimicking the doting expressions of their mothers and fathers. This is a myth. Babies who are born blind also make the same facial expressions as other babies-despite having never seen a face. Our instinct to make certain expressions derives from nature, not nurture. Microexpressions are an Innate universal human behavior.”

It was also fun taking a new personality quiz with Lexi that I’ve never heard about called The Big Five Personality Test. Take it and let us know what you get!


https://bigfive-test.com/

[asogi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Despite being a heavy 300+ pages, this book feels incomplete. It is effectively just a long sales pitch for the author's workshops, making it otherwise devoid of content. Rather than elaborating on any concept or idea, the book instead offers repetitive links throughout the book urging the reader to "learn more" on her website, which requires subscribing to her newsletter and making one's way through the website, which urges you again to sign up for a workshop. This book was marketed in a misleading way with an emphasis on the book being science-based, and failed to deliver on those promises. It only discusses a superficial understanding of human behavior. Mostly recycled ideas reframed with quirky names in what seems like an attempt to create intellectual property to create the workshops. The "hacks" presented in this book will quickly become irrelevant as society changes.

The author assumes that anecdotal evidence will be enough to convince you of what's being suggested. In the rare cases that "evidence" is supplied, it's usually in the form of a poll, leaving out the details of who was polled or how. Sometimes Twitter polls (screen-captured and placed in the text, taking up more space) are used without noting the inevitable bias that comes from polling only the people following that particular account.

The thickness of the book is deceiving - it looks, at first glance, like it will contain a wealth of knowledge, but it's full of lots of overly large whitespace, images that don't add much to the text, and odd formatting. It contains distracting links, info-less info boxes, and Buzzfeed-style personality quizzes between nearly every paragraph.

[Agne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am now extremely captivating.

In all seriousness, the book is actually pretty great - easy to understand, fun, the right length. The tips on building relationships are clear and there are enough examples of questions to ask and whatnot. My favorite part was about conversation sparkers. I think the strength of the approach is in the "first five minutes" (first impressions), I was a bit less interested in the long-term things.

I've seen the paper version as well and would recommend that, as there are lots of images and extras to test yourself. The courses they give online might be worth a shot, it seems that a lot of effort and research (lots of experiments are described) has been put into making all the tools.

"Space Mountain blew my mind. All my life I had an inkling I had been missing out, but really I had no idea. The slow, monotonous humps of Dumbo the Flying Elephant did not even come close to comparing to the exhilarating dips and whirls of Space Mountain. The “speed” we reached on the Disneyland Railroad was laughable compared to the daredevil pace of a rocket! That day, my brother and I rode Space Mountain over and over again, and I swore I would never go back to the kiddie rides. This is exactly how it works with conversations. For most of our lives, we chitchat on the kiddie ride. Our conversations aren’t memorable because we aren’t very stimulated or excited."

[Karma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vanessa is good with people. I knew that by reading her blog and doing some of her online courses. She is passionate about what she does and motivated by that passion, the work she produces is of a great quality.

I believe this book is one of her best works yet.

I am a self-confessed introvert and find it difficult to talk to people and connect with them naturally. The ideas presented in this book are so easy, yet make so much sense, that it has become far easier for me to connect to people. I loved the chapter on microexpressions and reading people in minutes.

I feel that to be good with people, we need to be good observers. Instead of being in our own heads all the time, we should also pay attention to the telltale signs others are always displaying. Captivate reinforced this belief. And I have seen a marked difference in my own skills after applying the hacks given in the book.

Recommended for all people who work, students and really everyone on the planet. This should be required reading in schools.

I got an early review copy of the book provided by Vanessa's team.

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

This might just wind up being a sort of bible for me. I checked this out from the library, but I'm going to ask for my own copy for my birthday or Christmas so I can write in the book and refer to it whenever I want. I'm not necessarily awkward per se, but I've got pretty bad social anxiety where I just shut down with people and want to run from any room that has so much as one other person in it (just yesterday I was at an event where, during lunch, instead of mingling, I took my plate of food and went to a different part of the building and ate by myself). This book sort of turns socializing into a fun game. It has activities throughout that are approachable and every page has something interesting to share. Plus there are directly related resources online that the book regularly informs the reader of. I also love Vanessa's warm, inviting tone. She seems like she'd be an awesome friend.

Edit: Read this again from Jan - March 2020. Just as informative the second time around and I plan on reading small sections of it daily.

[Ghizlane Eddiba · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a deep book, her YouTube videos are better. Here is my summary:
On first impression: no fake smile, be in thrive location, choose to stand where social zone is, reach the right people, use open posture.
On conversation: ask fresh questions, bring up specific interest, make unusual requests, memorize names, read micro expressions, decode personality traits and values.
On being remembered: listen, emphasize people’s strengths, use raving introductions, use storytelling.
On being likeable: search for similarities, tie your abilities to their needs, ask Whys.
On getting the best from people: use appreciation tools like gifts and services.
More tips: empower people, reveal your vulnerability, ask for advice.

[Veach Glines · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this much more than I did, the You-Tube videos by the author marketed this book better than the book was written. I didn't expect to be amazed, but I did expect to learn something new -- or at least a new approach. Nothing in this book has been adopted, by me, to help me communicate.

The book uses bad, tiny, black and white photos (as if this were a self-help book from the 60's) combined with http-links to "learn more" on their website, and poorly written quizzes which are of value to those addicted to online quizzes only.

Won't be reading or paying attention to this author ever again.

[Jaak Ennuste · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally not a big fan of books with similar titles, but this was honestly quite good. It goes a bit down the lines of Dale Carnegie's stuff, where part of you wants to stop reading, but the other part of you understands that some tips are basic truths that you should follow. Definitely will try to keep some things in mind about the use of body language and on frameworks about analyzing people. Occasionally goes over the top about what "science" says about very complex subjects such as human interaction, and leaps to conclusions too quickly (..he was such and such a person and this is why market cap tripled during his time..)

[Kathy Heare Watts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do you know how to read people accurately? What's the science behind human behavior and facial expressions.

I won a copy of this book during a Goodreads giveaway. I am under no obligation to leave a review or rating and do so voluntarily. So that others may also enjoy this book, I am paying it forward by donating it to my local library.

[Sincerely, Angel · Rating 4 out of 5]

i learned new tricks and it also debunked some myths.

[Narilka · Rating 5 out of 5]

While prepping to give my first public speaking event I stumbled across Vanessa Van Edwards and her website Science of People. Vanessa has a passion for people, learning what makes us tick, why we act the way we do and how to use this information to become a better communicator. Understanding people is a big part of my job and I'm always looking for new tips and tricks I can use in my daily life. Turns out that her book Captivate is exactly what I was looking for and a whole lot more. Through her research Vanessa has found many science backed "hacks" and created a user manual for the rest of us on how to captivate anyone and build connections. She explains easy to follow strategies that apply to any sort of social interaction: conferences, parties, interviews, pitches, dating, etc. I was able to start using these strategies immediately and definitely see them helping with future interactions. Introvert or extrovert, social rock star or socially awkward, this book is for everyone.

I listened to the audio book read by the author. Vanessa's passion for her work shines through in her narration. As much as I enjoyed the audio, I need to buy a physical copy to use as a reference.

[Emiel De jonge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to be chosen for the early preview. Vanessa van Edwards writes in the same manner and with the same enthusiasm as she does giving presentations. When i was reading her book it felt the same as when she was presenting herself during one of her courses. The book contains the same geeky humor and she puts herself in the spotlight. The book is an easy read through because of this. Chapter 6 and 7 where my absolute favorites because they contain a lot of practical advice on personality and body language. Chapter 9 connects many of the previous chapters and makes it complete. I have learned how to make an educated guess on personality within the first minute when i am talking to people i also have learned some very important things about myself and how to handle and accept certain aspects in my relationships. This book has helped me a lot and made me even more enthusiastic about Vanessa and her school for communication.

[Hans · Rating 3 out of 5]

AN INVTROVERT MANIFESTO!!! Idle curiosity drives me to pick up books like this from time to time. I'm a sucker for seeing where latest applied psychology research is making in-roads into social behavior. That is essentially what this book is all about. The author attempts to use evidence-based techniques for 'hacking' social situations. Which is useful if you struggle with finding your groove in a group setting. A lot of it could be summed up as 1) Smile more (genuine smiles 2) Learn how to be an engaged listener, everyone loves feeling like they're heard, to do this you have to care about what is being said and 3) Learn how to be a great story-teller. Find novel approaches to answering mundane questions to drive conversations and leave memorable first impressions.

Other than that I don't remember much else.

[Jesse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have purchased three of Vanessa Van Edwards’ online classes and this book is a great addition to that collection. There are parts that are duplicative but that was good for me as this format helped distill the knowledge even more. If you are struggling to find meaningful connections with people, either personal or professional, this book will leapfrog you ahead of your peers. Using people’s words, using surprise and having a story toolbox handy has transformed my social skills.
I received a free advanced copy of this book in which I have already read it twice. I’m looking forward to reading it a third time in hardback.