The 7 Best Things Happy Couples Do...Plus One

by John C. Friel, Linda D. Friel

Psychologists and best-selling authors John and Linda Friel have written an enormously readable and infinitely practical book that delves into what makes a relationship enduringly successful. Wherever readers are in their own relationships, this book can improve those relationships dramatically, bringing them immediate and lasting benefits. In the tradition of their bestseller, The 7 Worst Things (Good) Parents Do, the authors examine the behaviors that happy, effective couples display continually. After careful investigation, the Friels synthesized years of clinical work into a manageable list of the most significant patterns of behavior couples must address and embrace if they want to become truly great couples. Recognizing that other patterns and behaviors certainly do exist, when patients come the Friels for help, the core issues illustrated in this book are discussed as the couples move boldly toward improving their relationships-with consistently outstanding results. The authors found that they had not seven, but eight, key items to identify. Here are a • Be Sexual • Be Willing To Divorce • Manage Your Fear, Hurt, Shame, And Loneliness • Own Your Part (be responsible for creating a great relationship)

Genres: Self Help, Relationships, Nonfiction, Psychology

340 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

Reviews

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm still in the middle of this book, and I find it pretty hokey at times, but it's interesting because it's helping me discover why I do the things I do in my relationship, and if those things are destructive, I can start to make changes. Aside from that, it's interesting because they discuss how your childhood, your parents, and how you were raised have affected who you are now, in ways that aren't always obvious, which is cool from a psychological perspective.

[Lucia Rukia · Rating 2 out of 5]

*2,5* Hard to understand. Tons of exemples can't be comprehended.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

stopped reading it a little over halfway through, despite the simplicity "7 best things" implies they try to cram too many concepts into the book without clearly progressing from point to point. i also didnt like the quote they used by a clinician named salvador minuchin very much - "And so you see, all marriages are mistakes, that then we spend time repairing; and some of us are more successful in repairing than others." they quote this in the introduction, and then one of the chapters with a small disclaimer that marriages arent really mistakes. that is the whole premise of munuchins statement so if the authors dont consider marriages to be mistakes it seems counterproductive to endorse a statement like that just to say, see everyone is repairing their relationships over time. mistakes are made in marriage, marriage isnt a mistake. couples struggle enough to make their marriages work without getting to use the excuse that it was just an oops to start. people may use poor judgement in choosing their spouse, but marriage isnt the problem. lets try to set people up for success, that their marriage is something magical (something the authors themselves promote) and using some critical thinking and hard work they can prove it was the best non-mistake they ever made =)

[Raul Marrero Sauveterre · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is really good. Not only for couples, but also for all the relationships in general [friends, parent/son, son/parent and siblings:]. It gives insight into what makes you and other people tick.

[Lorraine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although the book offers some helpful & insightful points, Friel continuously goes off track. I realize any words of encouragement are helpful in creating a happy & lasting relationship but that in itself does not make for a great book.

[Bill Donhiser · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really delves into the psychology of relationships and does a wonderful job of explaining maturity and development of healthy relationships. I especially learned a great deal about the reptile brain and why pursuing something when really angry is so counterproductive

[Saranga · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a big fan of self-help books but this one had some really helpful insights in human behavior and relationships. It made me think about my outlook towards not only my marriage but also other relationships. I recommend everyone to read it not just couples.

[Dorena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like most reviewers I gave it 2 stars. Although it did have a few things for me to think about overall I felt lost reading it.

[Stacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book to be somewhat helpful, with some very good points and advice. The overall writing style was a bit confusing, as the authors rambled on.

[Gordon Howard · Rating 2 out of 5]

Often seemed to wander off-topic. The 7+1 things are explained in a disjointed manner.