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The F Word: A Personal Exploration of Modern Female Friendship
If there's one piece of invaluable advice for women and girls of all ages, it is that there is nothing more important than creating and maintaining strong, positive and happy friendships with other women.
In a culture that largely pits women against each other, I want to celebrate female friendships... all strings attached!
If my 1998 diary is anything to go by, female friendships are incredibly complex and emotional but they're the mini love stories that make us who we are. For many women, friends are our partners in crime through life; they are the ones who move us into new homes, out of bad relationships, through births and illnesses. In The F Word I've set out to explore and celebrate the essence of female friendship at different life stages and in its many wild and wonderful forms.
In a culture that largely pits women against each other, I want to celebrate female friendships... all strings attached!
If my 1998 diary is anything to go by, female friendships are incredibly complex and emotional but they're the mini love stories that make us who we are. For many women, friends are our partners in crime through life; they are the ones who move us into new homes, out of bad relationships, through births and illnesses. In The F Word I've set out to explore and celebrate the essence of female friendship at different life stages and in its many wild and wonderful forms.
292 pages, Hardcover
First published March 8, 2018
74 people are currently reading
1187 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews
March 10, 2018
I’m still a big fan of the lovely Lily Pebbles, but I absolutely hated this book. Didn’t see the point and just felt like a diary entry rather than an insight into female friendship that the book promises. Feel like I’ve been sucked in here, the writing was dull and I didn’t feel anything from it. Hated it! Do not recommend!
April 6, 2018
I feel SO conned by this book. I’ve followed Lily for 5 years now and she’s been my favourite youtuber for a large part of that and so I trusted her when she spoke about what this book would entail. But honestly, after reading it, I don’t even think Lily or her publishers knew what the format of this book should be. It was described as a “book about female friendship” but after reading it it’s clear that it’s more of a “book about Lily’s friendships” and I feel so tricked by the promotion of it and how it was described.
There were times when I genuinely questioned if it had been proof-read because of the grammatical errors or annoyances I found in parts. However I’ve given it 2 Stars because it wasn’t TERRIBLE to read. I still love Lily’s YouTube content and feel harsh even posting this but I really wouldn’t recommend this book if you’re looking for anything more than personal friendship stories.
There were times when I genuinely questioned if it had been proof-read because of the grammatical errors or annoyances I found in parts. However I’ve given it 2 Stars because it wasn’t TERRIBLE to read. I still love Lily’s YouTube content and feel harsh even posting this but I really wouldn’t recommend this book if you’re looking for anything more than personal friendship stories.
January 10, 2019
Whole-heartedly the worst book I’ve ever read.
April 6, 2019
It pains me to give this book such a poor rating, as I have followed Lily’s video and audio content online for several years, which she is great at, but this book is just not what it sets out to be.
It’s not a celebration or discussion of female friendships in general, it feels far more like a teenage diary entry running through Lily’s memories of her personal friendships.
It’s unstructured and rambling in places. I, very disappointingly, found the tone to be patronising at times and also got the feeling that every female friend needs to be given a label i.e. the single one, the toxic one, the BFF, which I didn’t like.
It really lacks substance overall. I ended up flicking through from 100+ pages on, I couldn’t read it word for word.
It’s not a celebration or discussion of female friendships in general, it feels far more like a teenage diary entry running through Lily’s memories of her personal friendships.
It’s unstructured and rambling in places. I, very disappointingly, found the tone to be patronising at times and also got the feeling that every female friend needs to be given a label i.e. the single one, the toxic one, the BFF, which I didn’t like.
It really lacks substance overall. I ended up flicking through from 100+ pages on, I couldn’t read it word for word.
April 14, 2018
As a follower of Lily across all social media and Youtube, I’ve enjoyed reading the book. It was basically like a Youtube #asklily-session or even a rather lengthy blogpost.
But as an independent reader, I just thought it was okay. I found that whilst it was easy to read, it wasn’t as well written as I hoped it would be. The language used was rather simple, I wasn’t expecting high quality prose, but still felt it was a bit lacking. Also some chapters seemed to flow into each other flawlessly, but then some had a pretty random transition.
I found it interesting to learn more about Lily and her view on female friendship was heartwarming. But I honestly would have enjoyed this content more in the form of a Youtube video or podcast.
But as an independent reader, I just thought it was okay. I found that whilst it was easy to read, it wasn’t as well written as I hoped it would be. The language used was rather simple, I wasn’t expecting high quality prose, but still felt it was a bit lacking. Also some chapters seemed to flow into each other flawlessly, but then some had a pretty random transition.
I found it interesting to learn more about Lily and her view on female friendship was heartwarming. But I honestly would have enjoyed this content more in the form of a Youtube video or podcast.
October 14, 2018
Having followed Lily's blog and YouTube for many years, and seen how eloquent she is on the subject of female friendship, I thought this book for once showed a natural progression for a YouTuber. I was incredibly disappointed in the result -- it was pitched as a book for adults as well as teenagers, and as a 28-year-old woman, I thought it a complete waste of time. I didn't find it interesting, and it felt like something I might have read as a 12 or 13 year old. I don't recommend this for adults, even young adults, and I don't think it should have been marketed that way.
March 17, 2018
True rating: Probably more towards 4.25 stars. Reading 'The F Word' made me feel exactly like the picture on the cover suggests: Like having a cup of tea and a deep talk on female friendship with a really good friend. That's probably because I've been watching Lily's videos for so long that it feels like I really know her and on top this book felt so Lily-ish that it made me feel right at home. I enjoyed reading it a lot and it definitely made me appreciate all my female friendships even more.
to-buy
January 29, 2018I'm excited about Lily Pebbles book, I have followed her for a while on Twitter, I think her book will be fun to read!
June 23, 2018
I love Lily Pebbles but this book is self indulgent and not well written. I will continue to support her YouTube career.
September 22, 2019
If you are older than 18, please skip this book...
July 29, 2018
S J A J N A.
Sveobuhvatna priča o različitim oblicima prijateljstava među ženama - od dječijih, do odraslih, od privremenih, do životnih. Uživala sam čitajući. Tim više jer obožavam i Lily, njen karakter i ličnost.
Recenzija: https://lovily.net/the-f-word-knjiga-...
Sveobuhvatna priča o različitim oblicima prijateljstava među ženama - od dječijih, do odraslih, od privremenih, do životnih. Uživala sam čitajući. Tim više jer obožavam i Lily, njen karakter i ličnost.
Recenzija: https://lovily.net/the-f-word-knjiga-...
June 19, 2018
Ok, ali ništa posebno. Ko voli Lili i njen rad, vjerovatno će voljeti i ovu knjigu, jer je čitanje izgledalo kao slušanje malo dužeg videa. Knjiga je vizuelno vrlo lijepo uređena (i naslovnica i unutrašnjost), tema jeste zanimljiva, ali svedena na prikazivanje ličnih iskustava ili iskustava prijatelja i porodice. Jedino su mi oni "Draga Savjeta" momenti bili malo nepotrebni. Stil pisanja je pristojan, nije napadan, nije dosadan, daleko od toga, ali na kraju se postavlja pitanje da li je ova knjiga zaista bila potrebna nekome/ikome i kakva je njena svrha. Dakle, pristojno, ali nešto bez čega smo svakako mogli.
September 26, 2019
I picked up the audiobook of The F Word in a sale a week or so ago, I hadn't really planned on reading it at any point but can't resist a bargain. Honestly it's a bit disappointing, I have to agree with many of the comments made in other negative reviews on Goodreads.
It firstly really does read more as stories of Lily's friendships with the odd quick comment about what those stories can offer to the reader, which would be fine if it was clearly marketed as that. It also does not, in my opinion, read well for an adult audience. It felt like the sort of thing that may appeal more to a 12-14 year old, but didn't really work for me at 25. I also found some sections and comments to sound oddly condescending and boastful which was a bit disconcerting.
I did at odd points stop to reflect on some of my own friendships, so I suppose it did achieve at least that much, but wasn't really necessary to read the book to do that so I'd suggest giving this a miss if you are over the age of 16 or so, you probably won't gain much reading it.
It firstly really does read more as stories of Lily's friendships with the odd quick comment about what those stories can offer to the reader, which would be fine if it was clearly marketed as that. It also does not, in my opinion, read well for an adult audience. It felt like the sort of thing that may appeal more to a 12-14 year old, but didn't really work for me at 25. I also found some sections and comments to sound oddly condescending and boastful which was a bit disconcerting.
I did at odd points stop to reflect on some of my own friendships, so I suppose it did achieve at least that much, but wasn't really necessary to read the book to do that so I'd suggest giving this a miss if you are over the age of 16 or so, you probably won't gain much reading it.
March 24, 2018
I am filled with female friendship feels 💕
March 27, 2021
2,5/5
Le livre aborde des sujets intéressants, dommage que cela ne soit pas plus approfondi et surtout qu'il ne soit pas mieux structuré.
Je ne connaissais pas du tout Lily Pebbles, je voulais le lire car la thématique me parlait beaucoup, mais une fois de plus lorsqu'il s'agit d'un ouvrage écrit par un.e influenceu.r.se, ça reste assez autobiographique, et n'apporte pas grand chose.
Je ne me suis réellement retrouvée dans les amitiés décrites par l'autrice.
L'objet livre en lui-même est en revanche très beau.
Le livre aborde des sujets intéressants, dommage que cela ne soit pas plus approfondi et surtout qu'il ne soit pas mieux structuré.
Je ne connaissais pas du tout Lily Pebbles, je voulais le lire car la thématique me parlait beaucoup, mais une fois de plus lorsqu'il s'agit d'un ouvrage écrit par un.e influenceu.r.se, ça reste assez autobiographique, et n'apporte pas grand chose.
Je ne me suis réellement retrouvée dans les amitiés décrites par l'autrice.
L'objet livre en lui-même est en revanche très beau.
March 12, 2018
I have been so excited for this book to come out. I don't usually take an interest in books by YouTubers but I have been a big fan of Lily for years now and I love her honest approach to things. This book was no different. I love that she narrated her own book* as it makes the experience very personal and with a cup of tea in your hands, you can almost feel her presence with you. Like catching up with a dear old friend.
I loved the book and I found it incredibly relatable. My emotions ranged from big grins to tears. It made me look at my own friendships and deconstruct them. What role did they play? What role do I play? It made me revaulate some friendships and reach out to others, whether that was to touch base with a long lost friend or send a 'Thanks for being such a great friend, I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you'. I will forever think more conciously about my friendships with women, and I thank you for that.
I went to High School in the middle east and my two best friends were British. We graduated and they went back to the UK and I moved back to Australia. Overcoming distance has been the hardest part of maintaining our relationships as it's been five years since we've seen each other due to circumstance. So I get how you feel with Hannah. But just know you are not alone.
I think that's the biggest takeaway from this book. You are not alone. Female friendships come with their ups and downs but they are arguably the most important of all.
Thank you Lily for everything.
*I listened to the audio book of 'The F Word'.
I loved the book and I found it incredibly relatable. My emotions ranged from big grins to tears. It made me look at my own friendships and deconstruct them. What role did they play? What role do I play? It made me revaulate some friendships and reach out to others, whether that was to touch base with a long lost friend or send a 'Thanks for being such a great friend, I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you'. I will forever think more conciously about my friendships with women, and I thank you for that.
I went to High School in the middle east and my two best friends were British. We graduated and they went back to the UK and I moved back to Australia. Overcoming distance has been the hardest part of maintaining our relationships as it's been five years since we've seen each other due to circumstance. So I get how you feel with Hannah. But just know you are not alone.
I think that's the biggest takeaway from this book. You are not alone. Female friendships come with their ups and downs but they are arguably the most important of all.
Thank you Lily for everything.
*I listened to the audio book of 'The F Word'.
March 17, 2018
I actually couldn't put this book down, but I don't know why.
I've followed Lily Pebbles on instagram and youtube for a while, and I've always enjoyed her more adult, mature content (within the context of younger youtubers). I really enjoyed reading a book solely on friendship, with modern, and relatable advice. The personal stories of her friends and herself throughout the book was perfect, and it really did feel like having a long chat with a friend. The only thing I would mention is that it's a bit disjointed at times. I feel like it would have been better to have clearer sections. Also, the chapter on hens parties was really good, however the 'AskLP' at the end of that chapter, had nothing to do with hens parties...which just made no sense to me because hens parties are wrought with potential agony aunt questions. All in all I really enjoyed it, which is nice seeing as I wouldn't have bought it if it wasn't for already knowing Lily through social media. 3.5 stars!
I've followed Lily Pebbles on instagram and youtube for a while, and I've always enjoyed her more adult, mature content (within the context of younger youtubers). I really enjoyed reading a book solely on friendship, with modern, and relatable advice. The personal stories of her friends and herself throughout the book was perfect, and it really did feel like having a long chat with a friend. The only thing I would mention is that it's a bit disjointed at times. I feel like it would have been better to have clearer sections. Also, the chapter on hens parties was really good, however the 'AskLP' at the end of that chapter, had nothing to do with hens parties...which just made no sense to me because hens parties are wrought with potential agony aunt questions. All in all I really enjoyed it, which is nice seeing as I wouldn't have bought it if it wasn't for already knowing Lily through social media. 3.5 stars!
March 16, 2018
Really enjoyed reading this book!
Found myself nodding to so many things that I hadn’t thought about! Really good quick read!
Found myself nodding to so many things that I hadn’t thought about! Really good quick read!
March 24, 2019
I feel bad about rating this so poorly because frankly a book about empowering women to form strong female friendships (or any friendships at all, regardless) really appeals to me. The problem I had with this book was that it just wasn't what I expected - and maybe that's more my own fault than this books, but I think the abundance of similarly poor reviews might add some weight to my feelings on the matter too.
Lily Pebbles is, I'm told, a YouTube sensation. So I'm sure many readers have stumbled across this book from that platform. Not me. In fact I was recommended this book from a friend who also really advocates for lasting friendships and positive influencers (is that a real word? I'm going with it!) for women. She sold it to me, much as the blurb did, as a book with heart - a book which would open my eyes to the different types of female friendships, types of friends in general and how to make sure you're a good friend to each individual type. It sounded pretty nice, and it was a fun and anecdotal read - I feel like I know Lily quite well now actually relative to her friendships. But I'm not sure I would give the book more credit than exactly that: It is a book filled with anecdotes about Lily's own friendships, not about women in general per say, although there is some attempt to advise us how to build strong friendships if we were to find ourselves in the same situation as Lily (or sometimes her mum!).
I guess I expected more from this book. More empowerment, more theorising rather than anecdotes and definitely more weight given to the importance of having each others backs. It, for me, didn't even need to be a question of female friendships - just ANY friendships. I once saw a quote about how some "friends" want to knock the crown from your head, but true FRIENDS stop it looking crooked and keep it in place for you. And that's what I wanted to see. More of THAT. Whatever it is. Just being a good person, a good friend and generally living your life with a friendly heart. I didn't care for the personal stories or negative connotations towards most, if not all, of the particular categories of friends within this book. I'd rather focus on keeping that crown straight.
Lily Pebbles is, I'm told, a YouTube sensation. So I'm sure many readers have stumbled across this book from that platform. Not me. In fact I was recommended this book from a friend who also really advocates for lasting friendships and positive influencers (is that a real word? I'm going with it!) for women. She sold it to me, much as the blurb did, as a book with heart - a book which would open my eyes to the different types of female friendships, types of friends in general and how to make sure you're a good friend to each individual type. It sounded pretty nice, and it was a fun and anecdotal read - I feel like I know Lily quite well now actually relative to her friendships. But I'm not sure I would give the book more credit than exactly that: It is a book filled with anecdotes about Lily's own friendships, not about women in general per say, although there is some attempt to advise us how to build strong friendships if we were to find ourselves in the same situation as Lily (or sometimes her mum!).
I guess I expected more from this book. More empowerment, more theorising rather than anecdotes and definitely more weight given to the importance of having each others backs. It, for me, didn't even need to be a question of female friendships - just ANY friendships. I once saw a quote about how some "friends" want to knock the crown from your head, but true FRIENDS stop it looking crooked and keep it in place for you. And that's what I wanted to see. More of THAT. Whatever it is. Just being a good person, a good friend and generally living your life with a friendly heart. I didn't care for the personal stories or negative connotations towards most, if not all, of the particular categories of friends within this book. I'd rather focus on keeping that crown straight.
April 30, 2018
I started off reading this book enjoying the fact that it seemed like a light read. What I ended up not enjoying so much was the highly condescending tone throughout the book - whatever the author’s opinion was, sounded like we should take it for gospel.
I would have enjoyed it more if there were more studies, actual facts rather than one story/example per friend type, which made for really hard to take seriously.
I would have enjoyed it more if there were more studies, actual facts rather than one story/example per friend type, which made for really hard to take seriously.
March 27, 2018
I listened to the audiobook, and I enjoyed it. It felt personal that Lily herself read the book, as if she was chatting with you. Basically, it's a quick and easy fun book.
April 8, 2018
I really like Lily and wanted to love this book, but it fell short of the mark for me. Poorly structured and a bit on the boring side - I just couldn’t get in to it.
May 14, 2018
Did not finish. Was totally underwhelmed. This reads like a middle schooler‘s diary and there is very little exploration of the topic outside of the author’s personal experiences.
July 19, 2018
zero stars . This is not the insight or study of female friendships it claims to be but a collection of anecdotes about Lilys chums and quite frankly who cares??
July 21, 2018
Wow! What a book!
First of all this book from Lily Pebbles has exceeded my expectations- as a YouTuber/blogger/ influencer- I know Lily says she hates that word but it is the best to describe her- I didn't actually have very high expectations for this book as I expected it to be some kind of fluffy book reminiscing about sleepovers and playground bullies.
When this book was first released I resisted the social media hype for it and only ordered it some time later when I noticed that it was still being talked about online and a lot of the reviews were positive. However, what I found was a wonderful and charming exploration of friendship in which I was able to pinpoint who the "big sister" friend and the "childhood" friend are for me. This book was interesting and easy to read, along with lovely anecdotes and friendship sayings. I felt that as I was reading it I was picking up tips to hopefully be a better friend as that is how we learn and grow by constantly improving.
Secondly, I really liked her description of toxic friends, the friends for then and friendship breaks- as someone who has had to break up with a friend I can personally say that it is not easy and it hurts more than any romantic breakup, but this made me feel like yes it was horrible, but it was something I had to do and I wasn't a complete cow for ending something that was making me miserable.
I am not a particular fan of Lily pebbles- I used to be back in the day but I feel that atm bloggers and influencers are not my cup of tea. But this book has made me see Lily in another light- also knowing what she sounds like it was quite nice to hear her voice in my head as I was reading it.
This book is going to get a permanent place on my bookcase- but first I am lending it to my 'big sister" friend as I think she will really enjoy it...if she ever gets round to reading it :-)
First of all this book from Lily Pebbles has exceeded my expectations- as a YouTuber/blogger/ influencer- I know Lily says she hates that word but it is the best to describe her- I didn't actually have very high expectations for this book as I expected it to be some kind of fluffy book reminiscing about sleepovers and playground bullies.
When this book was first released I resisted the social media hype for it and only ordered it some time later when I noticed that it was still being talked about online and a lot of the reviews were positive. However, what I found was a wonderful and charming exploration of friendship in which I was able to pinpoint who the "big sister" friend and the "childhood" friend are for me. This book was interesting and easy to read, along with lovely anecdotes and friendship sayings. I felt that as I was reading it I was picking up tips to hopefully be a better friend as that is how we learn and grow by constantly improving.
Secondly, I really liked her description of toxic friends, the friends for then and friendship breaks- as someone who has had to break up with a friend I can personally say that it is not easy and it hurts more than any romantic breakup, but this made me feel like yes it was horrible, but it was something I had to do and I wasn't a complete cow for ending something that was making me miserable.
I am not a particular fan of Lily pebbles- I used to be back in the day but I feel that atm bloggers and influencers are not my cup of tea. But this book has made me see Lily in another light- also knowing what she sounds like it was quite nice to hear her voice in my head as I was reading it.
This book is going to get a permanent place on my bookcase- but first I am lending it to my 'big sister" friend as I think she will really enjoy it...if she ever gets round to reading it :-)
January 17, 2024
A poorly written book on an endlessly fascinating topic. What could have been a marvelous book fell very short.
September 11, 2019
As far as I am aware, people either love this book or completely hate it.
I personally find it as a nice and cosy read about women friendships, which warms your heart. It is a solid three star book, that is ideal for a summer vacation.
I personally find it as a nice and cosy read about women friendships, which warms your heart. It is a solid three star book, that is ideal for a summer vacation.
February 13, 2019
I should preface this by saying that I used to watch Lily Pebbles' YouTube videos but stopped a couple of years ago because I felt that all her videos were starting to get quite same-y and she managed to make a ten minute video without really saying much.
To be quite honest, I only decided listening to this because I saw a couple of 1 star reviews floating around here. And I got curious.
The best word to describe this book with is 'fine'. I probably won't re-read it but it entertained me while I was reading it and even though it felt more like a collection of anecdotes from her life than a close examinations of friendship I found it quite enjoyable. I'm pretty sure someone who never watched her videos would feel very different about it. It's very much a book intended for her audience who is already familiar with the majority of her friends through her vlogs. Many of the stories she told in the book she already shared online.
I've seen people critiquing the book for its grammatical errors. I can't really say much about that - having listened to the audiobook. But I would definitely recommend listening to it. It felt like watching a 4-hour video of her.
To be quite honest, I only decided listening to this because I saw a couple of 1 star reviews floating around here. And I got curious.
The best word to describe this book with is 'fine'. I probably won't re-read it but it entertained me while I was reading it and even though it felt more like a collection of anecdotes from her life than a close examinations of friendship I found it quite enjoyable. I'm pretty sure someone who never watched her videos would feel very different about it. It's very much a book intended for her audience who is already familiar with the majority of her friends through her vlogs. Many of the stories she told in the book she already shared online.
I've seen people critiquing the book for its grammatical errors. I can't really say much about that - having listened to the audiobook. But I would definitely recommend listening to it. It felt like watching a 4-hour video of her.
November 10, 2018
I follow Lily Pebbles on nearly all social media platforms and I enjoy her YouTube videos. I also love female friendships (the topic of this book) so I was looking forward to reading this... I very highly disappointed. Firstly, it’s pretty much about her own friends and how good of a friend she is, which almost sounds braggy at some points. It seems like it’s aimed towards a teenage girl audience, so I’m not sure anyone over 21 will enjoy how this is written. I suppose it had some tips about how to maintain friendships, if you can find them between the tales of her friends, her mum’s friends, her sister’s friends, her friend’s friends... you get the idea. Finally, I listened to this as an audiobook and ended up returning it back to Audible. Given that she wrote this book from a first person view and actually read the audio version herself, it sounded like she’d never seen it before and was reading it for the first time. It just didn’t feel natural. Overall, disappointing. Sorry, Lily.
December 16, 2018
- 1.5
- Kind of disappointed that I didn't enjoy this more but was also sceptical whether Pebbles would be able to deliver a good read (I do subscribe to her YouTube channel)
- It started out well enough, and I liked the anecdotal portions of the book well enough
- However, it fell short in terms of structure (friend type profiles were scattered throughout with no proper connection to their preceding and subsequent content)
- The way she kept trying to reference romantic relationships with female friendships got annoying quick smart
- Some aspects of friendship were clearly not something Pebbles had experienced, so she drew on her relative's experience, and when that failed just had a few paragraphs brushing over the topics
- Some chapters were so brief that they didn't even feel warranted
- Overall, it got progressively worse - like she lost steam to write in-depth as the book went on
- Kind of disappointed that I didn't enjoy this more but was also sceptical whether Pebbles would be able to deliver a good read (I do subscribe to her YouTube channel)
- It started out well enough, and I liked the anecdotal portions of the book well enough
- However, it fell short in terms of structure (friend type profiles were scattered throughout with no proper connection to their preceding and subsequent content)
- The way she kept trying to reference romantic relationships with female friendships got annoying quick smart
- Some aspects of friendship were clearly not something Pebbles had experienced, so she drew on her relative's experience, and when that failed just had a few paragraphs brushing over the topics
- Some chapters were so brief that they didn't even feel warranted
- Overall, it got progressively worse - like she lost steam to write in-depth as the book went on
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