You want to say the right thing when your children do wrong — trouble is most parents aren't sure where to even begin. Parenting Scripts is the much-needed resource for moms and dads who are desperate to speak life to their children instead of defaulting to the same old words and ineffective consequences. Focusing on the most ordinary and yet troublesome areas in our daily routines, Parenting Scripts helps parents to craft intentional and well thought out and prayed over words. When parents step back to consider their children's wrong actions, there's a chance they can plan the right reactions. In the margins of their busy day, Parenting Scripts leads parents to a calm place where they can pinpoint their family's bad habits and choose better ways of dealing with immature behavior — theirs and their children's. Laid out as a parenting book and workbook all in one, each of the thirty-one short chapters Parenting Script - main lesson, complete with a script to try at home Scriptures - verses to apply Prayer Script - prayer to pray Make the script your own - empty pages to write down your own parenting script
4.5⭐️ So good! The authors always point back to the Bible being the basis for how we parent, how we discipline, and how we talk to our children. There are a lot of great ideas on ways to respond before the situation arises, and you find yourself reacting. I'll definitely be revisiting this one.
Ugh. So I almost gave the book one star, because I did NOT like reading this, FOR ME. I didn't do my due dilligence before ordering this book and it is Super religious, to the point with regular biblical quotes and is clearly written with an intended audience of moms who are raising super churchy kids. On the other hand, while I had to skip over lots of it in order to glean anything from it, it is clear that this mom has some excellent insights in how to talk to kids, how to keep a cool head and the power of patience. So 2 stars, and to the right reader, I will admit it may be worthy of a higher rating, but not for anyone not particularly religious.
SUCH a practical book. It’s obviously not perfect or all encompassing, but super helpful for thinking about how we talk to our kids and has specific ideas on calm positive responses.
This book is a good follow-up to Triggers. If you struggle with what to say in a moment of discipline, this gives some good ideas or “scripts.” It has specific chapters that outline problems you may be having with your children and how to address them.
I guess one of my criticisms would be that these “scripts” are great but they’re not quick fixes. Sometimes the authors make it seems like if I just respond this way my child will stay in bed (or not argue, or whatever). Which is obviously not true!
BUT at least these words are God-honoring, gentle and loving, and not spur of the moment angry words.
All in all, I would recommend Triggers first. If you feel like you want more in-depth help on certain things this is a good reference. I’ll keep it just to look at in the future if I have a certain problem I’m struggling to address, but I probably won’t re-read the whole book again.
This is one of those books I'm going to be recommending to all my parent friends! Parenting Scripts is the follow-up book to Triggers, and it does not disappoint.
This book is FULL of good, practical ways to speak to your children in different situations. Some of the topics covered are disobedience, bedtime struggles, arguing, whining, forgiveness...and there's so much more! I'd say if your kids are 2 and up, this book would have something for you.
For me, I didn't memorize the scripts that they presented. But as I read through them, I saw the heart that these words would come out of, and God began to shape my heart in a more gentle manner towards my children. Sure enough, these types of responses are beginning to come out when I enter into a situation with one of my children.
If you desire to be calmer, kinder, and more gentle with your children, Parenting Scripts is a great resource. The authors write with such a peace that you can feel the Father's heart in their words. I feel much more equipped for parenting my little tribe toward God after reading this book.
Surprisingly one of the best parenting books I've read, a great companion book to Triggers by the same authors. The main idea is to take a step back and think through what and how you really need to communicate to your children rather than reacting and spouting off at them in an emotionally driven way (my besetting sin!).
SO good!! Filled with truths that my heart needed to hear as well as practical steps that I have been taking in my parenting. The audio book was great and I plan to purchase the paper copy so I can refer back to it.
This book! Yes! This material was so helpful in creating scripts to use with difficult situations with my toddler. I will definitely be reading this again and again through the different seasons of motherhood. I highly recommend this book at all parents!
This book gave me all the feels. I cried multiple times and I know I will need to look back over many chapters. I love all the biblical references and the scripts. I really enjoyed how applicable it is to many parenting situations!
I have expected more, considering the reviews. But perhaps I shoudn’t have. After all, it is mainly a book of scripts. Hardly ever has there been acomplished much just by mere talking, and when kids are involved, especially little kids (but perhaps all) talk can assist very little. Of course, the advice in the book goes beyond just what to say in key moments. And of course hearing and thinking through some well-thought examples of calm, loving, life-giving words can be helpful (especially as there are moments when we tend to talk without thinking, saying things we’d used to hear as children or around other parents over the time). And there were some chapters I felt i’ve gained from. I do like Wendy’s manner and wisdom. Especially the two chapters that call for silent-scripts. And some where I’ve identified most with the battles described (like discontentment in kids). But at the end of the day, who we are, how we think and how we walk is that really matters. When our hearts are in the right place, our mouths (who speak out of the ambundance of the former) will do what they ought. When we walk our talk, our words will be powerful. Otherwise, no matter how ingenious our ready-made scripts, they’ll fall flat on the ears of our children, especially as they grow and become more able to see through them.
Had some good points that I will apply. I like the Bible verse references and I also liked the emphasis on making it your own. A good chunk of it though I felt was a little unrealistic… several of the scripts I felt aren’t how anyone actually speaks or reacts. I’m not sure how, but I felt there was a “realness” missing
Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New Have you been stuck in a rut in your parenting? Have you been saying the same things without much response from your children, or at least the response you’d like to receive from them? If so, you must grab a copy of this book and begin reading it right away! Amber and Wendy are in the trenches right alongside us and strive to approach parenting their children with gentleness while using scripture to work at the heart level of their children rather than just correcting behavior. They have shared with us 31 scripts that work in their homes based on the common struggles we face in our day to day parenting. The scripts are not to be used verbatim, but to serve as a guide and starting point in allowing us to create scripts of our own that fit our family life, the dynamics in our home and the needs and personalities of our individual children. Included in the book is a workbook to allow us to write out our own scripts. When we are prepared with scripts for the daily struggles, we are equipped to handle things in a more gentle and intentional manner rather than joining our children in their frustration. These ladies remind us to lean into God and seek his Word to teach our children, but they also remind us that we must first do the good work in ourselves before expecting our children to follow our lead. Parenting brings out our weaknesses and requires us to grow just as much as our children. The chapters or short, but are packed full of relevant personal stories, parenting scripts, verses and prayers to equip us to write our own script and put it into action. This book, as well as Triggers, have been exactly what I needed in order to get myself out of the rut I’ve been stuck in. Get your copy now, be blessed and change the atmosphere of your home. I was blessed to be a part of the launch team for this book in exchange for my own honest review.
Some parenting books I read out of curiosity, or preparation for a future challenge, or because I’m in need of a tuneup in the parenting department. And some parenting books I come to out of sheer desperation. Sadly, this was a desperation book: Luke and I have been at a loss with our kids of late and needed a new approach. The subtitle for this book (“When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working”) was a painfully fitting descriptor of our recent parent/child interactions, so when I heard the authors discussing the book on a Focus on the Family broadcast, I couldn’t hit play on this audiobook fast enough.
We all know that what and how we speak to our children is important. Too often, though, we don’t put much thought into our words; we are reactive rather than intentional, and those instinctive words are. . . not great. We default to criticism and bargaining (or worse), and the messages we send are not only harmful to our children but ineffective in changing their actions or their hearts. With some practice and preparation, though, we can replace these poor interactions with scripts that address challenge areas and not only change their behavior but shape their hearts.
Each of the book’s thirty chapters is written to a specific issue parents may struggle with, such as bedtime battles, laziness, tattling, and growing independence. After a brief introduction with scenarios from the authors’ lives, we are are given a succinct parenting script (verbiage around a specific lesson); Scripture to apply to the situation; a prayer; and ideas for adopting the script to your family’s unique needs.
It might seem silly or desperate to turn to a book for exact ways to speak to my children, but I can’t begin to express how helpful this book has been. Nearly every one of the battles we’ve been facing with our kids is addressed here, and the scripts have been a game changer. Scripts for arguing, dissatisfaction, and weekends were especially pertinent, but it is the general approach of the book that I found most helpful. I needed this book’s reminder to invite the Lord into every moment of parenthood and to apply specific Scriptures to our daily interactions. I love the authors’ example of teaching children Scriptures and weaving them into our conversations and discipline—not to weaponize God’s Word, but to allow it to truly shape our kids’ behavior and hearts and minds, and our own. The regular reminders to talk less; to view parenting as a blessing rather than a burden; and to prioritize discipling my kids over my own temporary comfort were convicting but very much appreciated. I really loved the internal scripts (ways to speak to myself that will inform how I speak to my kids) and the marriage scripts to help spouses/coparents get on the same page, and I found the calm, confident, reassuring, truth-filled (but also compassionate) vibe of the book and of the specific scripts and prayers SO empowering.
I listened to this one straight through and I liked consuming it this way as it gave me an overview of a general way to interact with my kids. After listening, I bought this on Kindle so that I can refer back to the specific scripts when issues arise. If you aren’t up for a straight read-through, this could easily be read on a chapter-by-chapter basis. I would say this is best suited for elementary aged kids, but many of the scripts will work well into the teen years and some have been useful with my toddlers, so there really is something here for parents of nearly all kids. My only caveat with this book is that it, like most books of this nature, makes it all seem a little too easy or straightforward; these ideas are great in theory but sometimes hard to implement. But although it may be challenging to bring these scripts into our everyday lives, I can attest to their effectiveness when put to the test.
My Rating: 5 Stars // Book Format: Audiobook (Purchased on Kindle after reading to use for future reference.)
My Review of: Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New
By Wendy Speaker and Amber Lia
The Help That Parents Need
Parenting Scripts is a fantastic resource, giving parents hope and the help they need when struggling with their child's disobedience. Wendy Speake and Amber Lia have written a powerful resource for parents. It offers gentle responses with new ways of communicating with your children. Parenting at times can be overwhelming. Just as each child is different, so are the ways of parenting your children. Some days are wonderful, and then there are those exhausting days. The days when you are worn out and worn down. Nothing you say has an effect on your child's misbehavior. Now what?? Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New, is amazing. It showed me how to change my mindset, enabling me to have a different attitude because I can respond differently to my child. Each of the 31 chapters focuses on a different common parenting struggle. With personal stories, each chapter includes a prayer, scriptures to anchor your new responses, a suggested script or parenting response, and finally, practical applications for making the response your own. There is space to write your personal reflections. I have found hope for dealing with my parenting struggles, therefore, I very highly recommend Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. With Parenting Scripts, parents have a tool that is encouraging and a guide to talking with your child instead of at them. This book is a wonderful resource!
First off, the premise is actually very good. In many different professions it’s a given that you have checklists and established procedures in order to do thinks correctly and well when things get messy or when crap hits the fan. So in parenting, let’s write specific scripts to make sure we do what we want to when things get messy and emotional.
There are great nuggets throughout. I especially liked the section (short little one towards the end) about the very real spiritual struggle in the home.
But, I struggled with this book. Maybe it’s my own pride. Maybe it’s the way it was written. Or maybe actually the way it was read (I did 90% of it by audiobook). The authors did read it though so I imagine they read it in the tone they intended in jt. And that’s what was hard for me. I felt like I was being talked down to a lot. Not necessarily condescending as in I’m better than you, but more of a you’re a child and I’m an adult and I know better than you.
Some of the content just didn’t seem down to earth as well. Like, I know the authors are parents and have a whole ministry around this, but it almost seemed like they were speaking from a perfect little home where everything works all the time and the hard days they described seemed almost not genuine. The scripts given as examples often did not seem like something someone would actually say, like ever.
This book overall is probably really helpful for some people and I took a few things out of it. However, I do think it was just not for me.
This book is amazing! If you love 'Triggers' then this is the perfect companion. I recommend reading this after 'Triggers'.
This is a very practical book, giving ideas, or 'scripts' as they are called in the book, of actual words to say when your children 'tigger' a response in you due to their behaviour or what to say in cases of disobedience, that will nurture your relationship with your kids, lead them to make the right choice in the future and get out of the rut of shouting and anger, which may work at the time to get the behaviour YOU want as a parent at that time, but does not train or disciple biblically.
The idea is that if you have the 'script' prepared in your head already, you will have the right words ready at the right time, instead of resulting to anger.
Most importantly, the book is packed FULL of scripture, backing up your scripts with bible verses.
There are lots of 'scripts' written by the authors and most of these may work with your family, but the authors make it clear to write your own scripts that will work with your family and family values.
I listened to this on audio and immediately purchased a hard copy as I want to go through this as a study.
Amazing - recommend to all parents, and especially those, like me, who have a strong desire to teach and discipline biblically but often don't know the right words in the moment!
I listened to this quickly, trying to access all the info as fast as I could; then I listened again, slowly, taking notes for the future.
They have lots of good examples and cover various encounters you'll have as a parent. I'm glad to have both this and their Triggers book. I appreciate that they share their parenting scripts, but encourage you to come up with your own, because I really feel like some of theirs are either "cheesy", aren't me, or come across in a way I don't like. Ex. "How can you outdo" -- I'd have to adapt that one because I just don't like how it sounds like now you're competing to be nice.
I appreciate that they recognize the difficulty in rattling off scripts when you're tired and emotional, but they include prayer scripts to show how you'll have to draw from the power of God to try to do his will. I also love how lots of what they say, falls in line with other parenting books I've read and approaches I've learned in education.
I got a sense the author was a teacher, then she talked about having a high school student and I was like, "yep. I knew it". Some of this could be integrated into the classroom too--kind of a "Love and Logic" approach.
I was very much looking forward to reading this book as soon as I heard it was coming out as it is the follow up to an awesome book called Triggers! I went through Triggers as a bible study with some friends of mine last year, and it has had a big impact on how I deal with my kids. It has helped me change how I deal with the anger and attitudes I’ve found myself having towards my kids, that are all too easy to slip into when dealing with all the stressors that come with raising kids and with life!
Parenting Scripts has not disappointed as a followup! It is challenging me to think about the “scripts” I use with my kids, and where I need to be rewriting and replacing them with scripts that encourage and build my kids up, rather than tearing my kids down with discouraging words about what they have done wrong or are doing wrong. As a mom of 4 boys (Maybe 5!??) with a perfectionist personality, I find it much easier to be a drill sergeant than an encourager, and this book has further challenged me in the conviction I have been feeling this year about changing the way I speak to and encourage my kids.
“Dear Lord, I have felt like parenting is more of a burden than a joy, and my negative approach is doing more harm than good. I confess that I often want to control my kids and my circumstances instead of enjoying them. However, what I really want to be is a mom/dad who builds up my kids and does not simply boss them around. Help me to know what to say and when to say it to meet the needs of my child as an individual. Give me eyes to see the best in my children as gifts God has given to me! May my kids feel my pleasure in being their parent at all times, even when I am teaching and training them. In Jesus’ name, amen!”
This book was so good for me to listen to a little bit every morning (before the kids wake) while getting ready.
I wouldn’t mind having my own copy to mark as I have a few go to sections that I need to visit more than others
I loved the prayers and the different examples of scripts too, “I believe that you will do what’s right! I do. God did an awesome job when He made you with a heart that longs to do what’s right and honor others, but you’ve got to grow that muscle of obedience, just like every other muscle in your body that you want to get big and strong.”
I've only read the first few chapters, but this book has already had a major positive impact on my heart and our family. As a mom of four young boys (currently ages 1-8), I have been overwhelmed more times than I can count by the sheer emotion of surviving each day with spirited little people, and often in the heat of the moment--despite a wealth of biblical knowledge, educational training and experience, and even a ton of psychology and parenting reading under my belt--I go speechless and the "flight or fight" instinct takes over! Having Amber and Wendy's real-life (also boy mom) stories and suggestions to think and pray about, as well as their encouragement toward gentle, loving connection with our kids and personally living out the REAL script (SCRIPT-ure) is truly helping me put one foot in front of the other as a mom these days. I find myself more often able to face those situations with calm and grace because I've been better prepared. So thankful! Highly recommended to any parent who desires to gently lead their kids from a heart of love toward a full life hand-in-hand with the Lord (but knows how hard that is in the nitty gritty of daily life with kids)!
I wish I'd have taken this book off my shelf and read it earlier!
So much Holy Spirit led truth here- addressing our own hearts, parenting for our children's hearts. It's not a quote scripture in a way that beats our kids over the heads and weaponizes it, but in a gentle way, tailored to their specific needs, that calls our a vision of who they can be in Christ.
So much power and truth. I've got pre-teens and teens now, and I'm still finding ways that I can incorporate these scripts, but my biggest challenge is how to change the habits I have in parenting. I need to systematically focus on one "script" at a time, looking for ways to incorporate it until it becomes a part of our family culture.
Parenting Scripts has challenged and encouraged me to be wise in my communication with my three boys. Amber and Wendy write so clearly and season their advice with such grace. This book helps me reflect and has changed my heart to allow God to grow self-control, patience, and gentleness in me. The authors write from experience and as I read I feel a connection, a friendship, with them . The chapters are short which is great for the life of a mom, but they are packed with God's Truth. I recommend Parenting Scripts and their earlier book, Triggers, to all my mommy friends. Motherhood is tough, as we all know, and Amber and Wendy provide support and tools to do it well!
I'm still crying my way through this book but it is excellent!! It's the companion I was waiting for ever since I read Triggers. I need these scripts in my life and need a better way to talk to my kids than the same old habits that aren't working. Each chapter is easy to read, filled with scripture and examples from everyday life. Amber and Wendy are genuine and real, down to earth mamas, who have kids and challenges of their own. They aren't perfect and they are gentle and not condemning in the way they teach us how to speak and what to say, using scripture and great examples. Love and highly recommend!!!
For families and caregivers looking for situation specific scripts that are based on evangelical values, and cite biblical verses for each topic. This seems to have been left out of the description on some websites, but it's the entire basis of the book.
I'd recommend How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King as a more in depth, additional (or alternative) read. It is secular but has a similar mindset of changing ourselves first to model the self regulation we are helping our kids develop, and giving specific phrases and tools to try. Also includes a section on adapting tools for non-neurotypical kids, which is not addressed in the scope of Parenting Scripts.
I absolutely LOVED this book! The authors both spoke from positions of experience and wisdom, thoughtfully crafted each chapter with specific situations every parent can relate to, and based their advice on Biblical truths that can be easily applied to the reader’s life. Now that I’ve finished the book, I plan to go back and make flash cards out of the scripts I want to integrate into my parenting so I can have them more readily available and remember to use them when situations come up. So thankful for the labor of love which produced this book, and now I need to read the first book Triggers!
This book changed my life! This book came at the perfect time for me. I was at the end of my rope in my parenting style. "When what you are saying isn't working, try something different." This book gave me practical, easy to personalize, and valuable steps to take to improve my approach to discipline and just loving my kids in general. I also found myself using the points in this book with coworkers! Thank you Amber and Wendy for searching scripture and applying it in such a way that it has helped so many!