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Kill Me Now
"If George Saunders and Russell Edson had a baby, he'd probably grow up to write like Timmy Reed." ―Jessica Anya Blau, author of Drinking Closer to Home
Miles Lover is an imaginative but insecure adolescent skateboarder with an unfortunate nickname, about to face his first semester of high school in the fall. In Kill Me Now, Miles exists in a liminal space―between junior high and high school, and between three houses: his mother’s, his father’s, and the now vacant house his family used to call home in a leafy, green neighborhood of north Baltimore. Miles struggles against his parents, his younger identical twin sisters, his probation officer, his old friends, his summer reading list, and his personal essay assignment (having to keep a journal). More than anything, though, he wrestles with himself and the fears that come with growing up.
It's not until Miles begins a mutually beneficial friendship with a new elderly neighbor―whom his sisters spy on and suspect of murder―that he begins to find some understanding of lives different than his own, of the plain acceptance of true friends, and, maybe, just a little of himself in time to start a whole new year. When you're green, you grow, he learns. But when you're ripe, you rot.
With tenderness and tenacity, Timmy Reed's prose―written in a confessional tone via Miles's journal―captures the anguish and grit of adolescence, and the potential that comes with growing up.
Miles Lover is an imaginative but insecure adolescent skateboarder with an unfortunate nickname, about to face his first semester of high school in the fall. In Kill Me Now, Miles exists in a liminal space―between junior high and high school, and between three houses: his mother’s, his father’s, and the now vacant house his family used to call home in a leafy, green neighborhood of north Baltimore. Miles struggles against his parents, his younger identical twin sisters, his probation officer, his old friends, his summer reading list, and his personal essay assignment (having to keep a journal). More than anything, though, he wrestles with himself and the fears that come with growing up.
It's not until Miles begins a mutually beneficial friendship with a new elderly neighbor―whom his sisters spy on and suspect of murder―that he begins to find some understanding of lives different than his own, of the plain acceptance of true friends, and, maybe, just a little of himself in time to start a whole new year. When you're green, you grow, he learns. But when you're ripe, you rot.
With tenderness and tenacity, Timmy Reed's prose―written in a confessional tone via Miles's journal―captures the anguish and grit of adolescence, and the potential that comes with growing up.
240 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 15, 2018
About the author
Timmy Reed
12 books35 followersTimmy Reed is a writer and teacher from Baltimore, Maryland. He is the author of Tell God I Don't Exist, The Ghosts That Surrounded Them, Miraculous Fauna, Star Backwards, and IRL as well as a couple of chapbooks: Stray/Pest and Zeb And Bunny Build Russian Dolls. He has been featured in the Wigleaf Top 50 on multiple occasions and won a 2015 Baker Artist Awards B-Grant. Learn more here: https://underratedanimals.wordpress.com
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 24, 2017
Catcher in the Rye if all the rich kids got hit in the face with a skate deck and they fell over in the mud with bloody mouths.
December 20, 2017
I received a free advance copy from Goodreads, in exchange for an honest review. So here goes:
I didn't hate it. However, there were three things that really turned me off from the book, and they all occur/begin early on, so it sort of tinged and ultimately harmed my reading experience.
1. The kid's nickname is Retard. This book is written and set in the present day and this kind of shit just isn't necessary. Seriously. Do better. Be better.
2. The casual racism. Ditto. I get they're supposed to be kids and sound like kids, etc... but seriously, it did nothing for the story at all.
3. The hyper-sexualization of a 12 yr old girl. I get that the narrator is 14 almost 15, but we all still know that a grown man wrote the book, so the passages in which he writes about the early-stages-of-puberty 12 yr old feel really really creepy.
Coupled with all of this is the rather generic "friends with old man down street" plot line, even if a lot of weed is involved, and the book just doesn't go anywhere for me.
I didn't hate it. However, there were three things that really turned me off from the book, and they all occur/begin early on, so it sort of tinged and ultimately harmed my reading experience.
1. The kid's nickname is Retard. This book is written and set in the present day and this kind of shit just isn't necessary. Seriously. Do better. Be better.
2. The casual racism. Ditto. I get they're supposed to be kids and sound like kids, etc... but seriously, it did nothing for the story at all.
3. The hyper-sexualization of a 12 yr old girl. I get that the narrator is 14 almost 15, but we all still know that a grown man wrote the book, so the passages in which he writes about the early-stages-of-puberty 12 yr old feel really really creepy.
Coupled with all of this is the rather generic "friends with old man down street" plot line, even if a lot of weed is involved, and the book just doesn't go anywhere for me.
May 24, 2018
3.5
Being a 14-year-old boy must suck. Being a 14-year-old girl had it's challenges, being 14 in general does, but being a 14-year-old boy sounds like the pits. Such were my thoughts while reading Kill Me Now.
I liked this more than I expected. It reminded me A LOT of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Though TPoBaWF has a certain gentleness that this lacks, there are a lot of similarities. Miles Lover isn't quite as cerebral as Charlie Scorsoni, but he engages in the same kind of stream of consciousness writing to an unknown reader. He is the same kind of socially awkward that leaves you wondering if he's on the spectrum somewhere. And Kill Me Now puts a 14-year-old, not a child/not an adult into the same situations that people (and therefore their media) pretends they don't engage in—drugs, alcohol, sex, casual cruelty, etc. And like The Perks of Being a Wallflower this challenging of the national script is what I appreciated most about the book. Because I have never known youths to be as pure as people like to insist they are.
I was uncomfortable with the casual racism, repeated use of Retard as a nickname, and the overt sexualization of prepubescent girls. (This one bothered me a lot more than the 14-year-old giving Miles a BJ or the rumors that his 13-year-old sisters had done the same to someone else.) I understand Reed probably included these for a reason. But I don't know what it was. To showcase the poor decision-making of Miles and his friends, teens in general, maybe?
All in all, I think if you liked Chbosky's wallflower, you'll like this grittier version of the same idea. But if you didn't like The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I feel confident saying you won't like Kill Me Now either.
Being a 14-year-old boy must suck. Being a 14-year-old girl had it's challenges, being 14 in general does, but being a 14-year-old boy sounds like the pits. Such were my thoughts while reading Kill Me Now.
I liked this more than I expected. It reminded me A LOT of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Though TPoBaWF has a certain gentleness that this lacks, there are a lot of similarities. Miles Lover isn't quite as cerebral as Charlie Scorsoni, but he engages in the same kind of stream of consciousness writing to an unknown reader. He is the same kind of socially awkward that leaves you wondering if he's on the spectrum somewhere. And Kill Me Now puts a 14-year-old, not a child/not an adult into the same situations that people (and therefore their media) pretends they don't engage in—drugs, alcohol, sex, casual cruelty, etc. And like The Perks of Being a Wallflower this challenging of the national script is what I appreciated most about the book. Because I have never known youths to be as pure as people like to insist they are.
I was uncomfortable with the casual racism, repeated use of Retard as a nickname, and the overt sexualization of prepubescent girls. (This one bothered me a lot more than the 14-year-old giving Miles a BJ or the rumors that his 13-year-old sisters had done the same to someone else.) I understand Reed probably included these for a reason. But I don't know what it was. To showcase the poor decision-making of Miles and his friends, teens in general, maybe?
All in all, I think if you liked Chbosky's wallflower, you'll like this grittier version of the same idea. But if you didn't like The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I feel confident saying you won't like Kill Me Now either.
May 28, 2018
Written like journal. No chapters or breaks. Quite an accurate voice for today's adolescent. A little over the top in sections, especially in dealing with the constant substance abuse. Not really a YA book.
August 19, 2018
I received the Advance Reading Copy in a giveaway, so I'm not sure if anything that I comment on is different in the final publishing.
I was at first turned off by the style of writing and the way the narrator spoke and acted. It was so against everything I stand for that I had a really hard time not putting the book down. I had to remind myself that that was the point of the book: the grunge and grime and all the dirty details of Miles' life.
When I was able to get past the grunge and appreciate the book for what it was, I did appreciate it.
Miles is so human and realistic and very easy to bring to life as you read. Reed creates the world and the person so true to life that it's almost impossible not to feel like Miles exists as a child you know from the neighborhood next door.
Usually in a book like this, the narrator goes through something which forces him to grow or learn something, and I found it really fascinating that Reed was able to pull this book off without anything like that happening. Each day, something happened to Miles and he "learned" something. He never really changed, and he never really grew up, but this novel takes place over just a few months in his summer. He doesn't have much time to grow.
I appreciated that ability of Reed's, but I also would have liked to see Miles learn something, mature, or grow up in some way, and I was a bit disappointed when the Miles at the end of the story is the same as the Miles in the beginning.
I was annoyed throughout the novel with the random words that were completely capitalized. This definitely took away from my enjoyment. It was distracting to me to have these emphasized words randomly throughout the book. I understand why Reed did that, but every time I came across a capitalized word, I was taken out of the story.
I also have a very difficult time placing Miles as a fourteen year old. The words he uses (for example "copacetic," even though he spelled it wrong: I'm not sure if that's supposed to point to his age or if that's a typo in the ARC copy) don't seem like his age or his personality. Or when he's talking about the TV and how he hate the machine but can't stop watching, that doesn't sound like his age or the personality we are led to believe he has. Sometimes it seems like his thoughts are too real or too deep or too old for the character Reed has created him to be. It's all very misleading to me.
I appreciated the last sentence and the irony of it. Reed did well there; it made me laugh but it also made me think about what I'd spent the past few days reading and made me ask myself why I read it.
I was at first turned off by the style of writing and the way the narrator spoke and acted. It was so against everything I stand for that I had a really hard time not putting the book down. I had to remind myself that that was the point of the book: the grunge and grime and all the dirty details of Miles' life.
When I was able to get past the grunge and appreciate the book for what it was, I did appreciate it.
Miles is so human and realistic and very easy to bring to life as you read. Reed creates the world and the person so true to life that it's almost impossible not to feel like Miles exists as a child you know from the neighborhood next door.
Usually in a book like this, the narrator goes through something which forces him to grow or learn something, and I found it really fascinating that Reed was able to pull this book off without anything like that happening. Each day, something happened to Miles and he "learned" something. He never really changed, and he never really grew up, but this novel takes place over just a few months in his summer. He doesn't have much time to grow.
I appreciated that ability of Reed's, but I also would have liked to see Miles learn something, mature, or grow up in some way, and I was a bit disappointed when the Miles at the end of the story is the same as the Miles in the beginning.
I was annoyed throughout the novel with the random words that were completely capitalized. This definitely took away from my enjoyment. It was distracting to me to have these emphasized words randomly throughout the book. I understand why Reed did that, but every time I came across a capitalized word, I was taken out of the story.
I also have a very difficult time placing Miles as a fourteen year old. The words he uses (for example "copacetic," even though he spelled it wrong: I'm not sure if that's supposed to point to his age or if that's a typo in the ARC copy) don't seem like his age or his personality. Or when he's talking about the TV and how he hate the machine but can't stop watching, that doesn't sound like his age or the personality we are led to believe he has. Sometimes it seems like his thoughts are too real or too deep or too old for the character Reed has created him to be. It's all very misleading to me.
I appreciated the last sentence and the irony of it. Reed did well there; it made me laugh but it also made me think about what I'd spent the past few days reading and made me ask myself why I read it.
February 20, 2021
I haven't been 14-years old for a long time, and to be quite honest, I can't even really remember what it was like to be 14, except, I know it wasn't a high point of my life for sure. Timmy Reed was a lot closer to that age when he wrote Kill Me Now, a fictional memoir in journal style of Miles Lover, called "Retard" by nearly everyone. Living in a suburb outside of Baltimore, alternatively with his mother and twin younger sisters, and his father, as the two navigate their way through a divorce. Like many 14-year olds, Miles is awkward, self-involved, rude, imaginative, anxious, bored. He exists in that summer before entering high school, worried about his mother, repulsed by his body as it enters puberty, and is filled with questions. When he befriends an elderly neighbor that his sisters believe is a serial killer, he starts to develop a better understanding of his place in the world, and of how to be a friend to someone.
As Kill Me Now is basically Miles' journal, the narrative, as such, jumps all over the place. However, Timmy Reed captures the voice of this boy so believably and so consistently, that whether he's writing about his fascination with the disgusting things that come out of his body, or how much he loves and wants to take care of his mother even though they fight all the time, it's not long before we develop a real affection for him.
As Kill Me Now is basically Miles' journal, the narrative, as such, jumps all over the place. However, Timmy Reed captures the voice of this boy so believably and so consistently, that whether he's writing about his fascination with the disgusting things that come out of his body, or how much he loves and wants to take care of his mother even though they fight all the time, it's not long before we develop a real affection for him.
October 30, 2017
There are things I really liked about this book... I felt that Miles talked and sounded like a teenager, not an adult trying to remember how a teenager sounded. I did feel that some of his activities would have been more believable if they were a happening with a teenager a bit older than Miles was, rather than someone between their 8th and 9th grade years, but overall the tone was definitely a teenager. Author Timmy Reed did a great job of conveying that simultaneous bravado, and insecurity that plagues teenagers everywhere.
The story is told in journal entries. Some are short, maybe a paragraph, and some are more detailed, and last a couple pages. There is a LOT of cussing and drug use, so if that is something that offends you this would definitely not be the book for you. I started off really enjoying the story and it's uniqueness but it never really built to a suitable climax for me, and that is why I gave it three stars. I appreciate the goodreads giveaway program for allowing me the opportunity to read it though.
The story is told in journal entries. Some are short, maybe a paragraph, and some are more detailed, and last a couple pages. There is a LOT of cussing and drug use, so if that is something that offends you this would definitely not be the book for you. I started off really enjoying the story and it's uniqueness but it never really built to a suitable climax for me, and that is why I gave it three stars. I appreciate the goodreads giveaway program for allowing me the opportunity to read it though.
May 13, 2020
Angst, skateboarding, and a really big snake. Timmy Reed’s writing takes you right back to that last, hot summer before high school. Mile’s life is full on long days skateboarding, sitting by the pool, watching the Animal Channel, and writing in his school required journal. Miles discovers that sometimes you find life lessons in the oddest of places and through the strangest of friends. Through his rambling yet poignant entries, and with the help of his elderly neighbor, who happens to be pet sitting a giant boa constrictor, you watch Miles grow up, discover true friendship, and find self acceptance. This book definitely will fill you with bittersweet memories of your teenage years and how you came into your own. A nostalgic must read for anyone who was once an angsty teenager.
March 20, 2018
A pleasant little fictional memoir of the summer before high school. Nothing groundbreaking here, but a nice under-current of dealing awkwardly with the line between childhood and adulthood runs throughout the book. I actually wish it were a bit edgier, and I wish much more had been revealed about the old man Miles befriends. He became the most intriguing & mysterious character in the novel...but too little is made out of his potential.
January 6, 2020
I stopped reading this at page 50 and put in in my stack of books to sell to Half Priced Books. I did not like the voice of the protagonist, he was too whiny, dark, and hopeless and racists. I also cringed at the liberal use of the word retard. (I now wonder what made me buy this book in the first place?!?!)
March 5, 2018
The closest I’ll ever get to being inside the mind of a teenage boy.
I had to stretch my imagination a bit with all of the drug use by a character who hadn’t even started high school, but that could be my sheltered childhood more than anything else.
I had to stretch my imagination a bit with all of the drug use by a character who hadn’t even started high school, but that could be my sheltered childhood more than anything else.
February 2, 2018
The adolescent narrator is no Holden Caulfield. I didn't enjoy living in his head for 185 pages. Perhaps that was the point.....
March 12, 2018
Another book that wasn't my cup of tea.
Miles Lover is a 14 year old kid with a hilarious name but a not so hilarious existence. His life is characterized by conflicts--at home with his family and siblings, at school, with his probation officer. At the beginning of this book, he's been ordered to keep a journal. He claims to hate writing about himself, though the insight he provides into his life through his words show otherwise.
There's all of the elements here that make this the typical "boy" story: explorations of sex, girls, drugs, and in this case, skateboarding. There's also a friendship with an elderly neighbor who his sister think is a murderer that eventually Miles finds himself gravitating to. But that's where the excitement ends. Plot wise I felt this book was bland, with really nothing here that we haven't already read in a teenage boy's story before. I will even go so far as to say that this kind of ground has been covered long before, in books such as Jim Carroll's "The Basketball Diaries." And good god, even that book is far more risque than this, and that was written 40 years ago.
Not a bad book, just not really for me.
Miles Lover is a 14 year old kid with a hilarious name but a not so hilarious existence. His life is characterized by conflicts--at home with his family and siblings, at school, with his probation officer. At the beginning of this book, he's been ordered to keep a journal. He claims to hate writing about himself, though the insight he provides into his life through his words show otherwise.
There's all of the elements here that make this the typical "boy" story: explorations of sex, girls, drugs, and in this case, skateboarding. There's also a friendship with an elderly neighbor who his sister think is a murderer that eventually Miles finds himself gravitating to. But that's where the excitement ends. Plot wise I felt this book was bland, with really nothing here that we haven't already read in a teenage boy's story before. I will even go so far as to say that this kind of ground has been covered long before, in books such as Jim Carroll's "The Basketball Diaries." And good god, even that book is far more risque than this, and that was written 40 years ago.
Not a bad book, just not really for me.
December 31, 2017
This book sounded really good - upon actually reading it, I can't remember why I thought that.
With that original thought in mind, I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt, and saying I just didn't like the way it was written. Which I didn't. Now, I see why the author wrote it that way. I feel it is appropriate from what I know of 14 year old boys. I just didn't like it (or maybe the character himself). It may also seem weird that I'm going to say it was well-written - it may appear it's not, but I actually think it is, putting into consideration that it's from the point of view of a troubled 14 year old boy.
Note: I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.
With that original thought in mind, I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt, and saying I just didn't like the way it was written. Which I didn't. Now, I see why the author wrote it that way. I feel it is appropriate from what I know of 14 year old boys. I just didn't like it (or maybe the character himself). It may also seem weird that I'm going to say it was well-written - it may appear it's not, but I actually think it is, putting into consideration that it's from the point of view of a troubled 14 year old boy.
Note: I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.
December 12, 2017
I guess I didn’t realize the subject matter. Didn’t like it.
January 25, 2026
Horrible book from start to finish. Don’t waste your time buying this rubbish.
Want to Read
December 21, 2017I have not had the time to read it yet.
January 25, 2019
This book was an amazing book. This book was a great example of a high school boy that is going thru a rough patch in life right now.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews