Decluttering Your Marriage

by Douglas Wilson

Have you ever felt your marriage get cluttered up with sins and cumulative wrongs? Do you wish that you could deal with it, but don't know where to begin? Douglas Wilson loves to point out that the way you fix these sorts of sin pile-ups is the same way you declutter a garage: Begin with the first layer, work to the bottom, and then keep it clean. That's because the key to a good marriage is honest, complete, and humble confession of sin. This short little book, coming from a pastor with forty years of experience, offers concrete practical suggestions about how to confess sin properly and how to avoid other snares that married people tend to get snagged on, usually depending on whether they're the man or the woman. Decluttering Your Marriage will give you much gospel advice, with much gospel encouragement. Features an extra checklist to help implement this book in your day-to-day lives.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Theology, Family, Nonfiction, Christianity, Audiobook

42 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2017

About the author

I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.

Reviews

[Derek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Doug Wilson could write a traffic ticket and it would be an enjoyable read.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another winner from Pastor Wilson. Worthy of being read, re-read and practiced daily.

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply phenomenal. Highly recommend primer on marital conflict/resolution through a biblical framework. Walk in the spirit as you go through arguments, discussions, quickly repent, be humble. Read this.

[Mason Sherrill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short sweet, gospel entrenched counsel on loving your spouse like a Christian. I recommend reading it with your spouse! You’ll find yourself laughing with one another as you fumble through applying what you learn.

[Becky Pliego · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. You can read my review on my blog:

https://beckypliego.me/2019/01/21/the...

[Kristin Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, stern and sweet. Great things to think about and grab practical tips/reminders to keeping a marriage that’s at peace and joyful.

[Chloe Fontana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short book contains potent reminders to not let the “clutter” pile up in your marriage—repent quickly and with humility. Examine yourself and repent before you start on your spouse.

[Caleb M. Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

2025 Reread: A short, simple book about keeping your marriage decluttered by regularly confessing sin. Now being married coming up on four years, I can say that this book and similar ones by Wilson are one of the main reasons I have as good a relationship with my wife as I do. God is good.

Original 2020 Read: This book is about marriage. But it's mostly about confessing sin, and why that is the center of Christian marriage. As a result, I, though not being married, was incredibly convicted and challenged by this book. Confession of sin is so important, and we all do it so poorly.

[David Winslow Winslow · Rating 2 out of 5]

I haven’t laughed so much while reading a book in a long time. That’s not a good thing.

Fortunately this was only 50 pages or so. Mercifully.

It is poorly written (and poorly edited). The examples and points do not seem to support each other. The author uses poor expressions which left us baffled.

There was ONE paragraph that was cohesive and clear. One. We stopped. Paused. Thought “ that’s the whole point I think summed up.”

At the end I asked “why did he really write this?” I think I know why. But did he deliver? Did he explain the issues, provide insight, examples, scriptural support, clarity? Not really. Sorry.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short book but full of practical tips and wisdom. Very convicting. What a great book to end 2022.

[Gary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful stuff, as expected. Of course, my wife needs this book way more than me!! (If you honestly say that, this book will show you how you are a large part of the problem).

Liked it.

[Katie W. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I get what he’s saying but it was poorly written with disjointed examples. The language swung from him trying to sound hip (and failing) to medieval-“unlettered rube”? Really?

[Kofi Opoku · Rating 5 out of 5]

Solid. Liked his application of Galatians 6:1.

[Monique Mathiesen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick read that gets straight to the point and the heart.

[Jake · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short, simple book packs a punch. Wilson blends humor and conviction in order to call couples to examine pride, confess sin, and forgive wrongdoing.

[Grant Van Brimmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short very helpful reminders.

[Jordyn West · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a quick and easy read. Lots of good advice - definitely a reread type of book for me each year.

[Kyle Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book but after listening I will definitely be buying this to read and reread. This was very helpful in exposing the problem I probably always knew was there, my pride.

[Abigail Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good and practical marriage advice book. Short and to the point. Didn’t quite agree with everything but I agree with the intentions behind it for sure

[Rusten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Re-read. Solid.

[Jun · Rating 4 out of 5]

The brevity makes this more of a sermon transcript than a book. At least it's an excellent sermon.

[Blake Marretta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Keep short accounts and take responsibility. I enjoyed this little book that shed more light on the subject.

[Andy Ardern · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very practical, convicting, and lots of application for marriage in this wonderfully written short book.

[Márcio Sobrinho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Para ler rápido e pôr em prática mais rápido do que imediatamente.

[Austin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio. A quick and refreshing listen with a lot of wisdom nuggets throughout. I liked how Doug focused on fellowship with your spouse and all the decluttering takes place in order to not only maintain it, but to help it flourish. The analogy of learning to dance was an accurate one I thought. Feels awkward at first and sort of artificial, but quick confession of sin along with being quick to forgive really does clear out so many spiritual weeds.

[Josiah Richardson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everyone has a cluttered marriage in one way or another and whether you agree with it or not, you are part of the problem - not just your spouse. Of course, how to approach the decluttering can depend on what the actual clutter is made of, but you have to start somewhere, so why not at the top of the clutter pile and work your way down? Wilson gives some practical advice for doing so and does it well. Brevity isn't always helpful, which leaves the reader with many "what about's" and there were several typos so I had to dock it a couple stars, but the content is very good.

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful focus on keeping short accounts & being quick to forgive.

This book left me wishing it was much longer.

[Nicole Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great short little book on marriage, and really simplifies how to live with one another in an understanding manner. Definitely worth the half hour to an hour of your time to read.

[Abbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this short but wisdom filled book this morning while getting ready for work and during my commute in an effort to add another book to my finished books this year. I am always amazed how much I learn from Doug Wilson, and this book lined right up with that. Definitely will be rereading/relistening to this one, maybe even buy a copy. As Doug said, marriage is the best thing on earth if you are walking under the blessing of God. Thankful for wisdom from Doug Wilson and other folks regarding marriage so that I can do my best to keep my marriage decluttered and keep enjoying it with my husband as the best thing on earth as we have this first year.

[Josh Simons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply the best

I've read so many marriage books that I gave up on them. They are stupid and impractical laundry lists of how to tolerate things you don't like or how to manipulate your spouse. Wilson gets right to the meat and potatoes with this book. Is your marriage miserable? This is why. Do you want your marriage to be a fragrant aroma pleasing to the Lord that is also pleasing to everyone around you? This is how. In 46 pages. Don't hesitate to get this book. Don't let your cynicism raise a flag over what your marriage could be. Christ's glory and your neighbor's good is worth it.