Saving Bobby: Heroes and Heroin in One Small Community

by Renee Hodges

When Renée Hodges invited her nephew, Bobby, to stay so he could visit a doctor about his back pain, she knew he was recovering from an addiction to prescription painkillers. She believed that if he could address his back problems, he’d have a better chance of a long-term recovery—but she was completely unprepared for the lengthy journey that followed.

Unlike other books about addiction, SAVING BOBBY begins after Bobby has left the structure and protection of rehabilitation centers and half-way houses. Told in part through journal entries and e-mails, this raw, deeply moving memoir describes the resources and holistic process used to help Bobby reclaim his life, including the importance of being in a community that can move past the shame and stigma of addiction.

A riveting and timely read for those concerned about America’s most pressing epidemic. —Claude T. Moorman, III, MD, Executive Director, Duke Sports Sciences Institute and Head Team Physician, Duke Athletics

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

368 pages, Paperback

Published May 1, 2018

About the author

Although her Louisiana roots run deep, Renée Hodges and her husband have called North Carolina home for the past thirty years.

Hodges has worked as a campaign manager for a candidate for the Texas State House of Representatives (she won); front desk person at a ski resort; and volunteer recruiter and registration head during a presidential campaign in New York City.

She also co-wrote and self-published the Best Kept Secrets series of guides in the 1980s.

Settling into motherhood and raising a family has been her most satisfying work, however, and today she is a wife, mother of three, writer, investor, community volunteer, and avid tennis player.

Reviews

[Maricela · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book!
This is one you won’t want to put down. You feel the anguish, the strength, and the perseverance of each and every character. We learn of the psychological turmoil of living with a loved one who has an addiction. But most importantly, this book teaches how, in the end, love and faith triumph. It leaves you with the beautiful desire to be the best person you can be. After all, deep in our hearts, who doesn’t want to be Aunt Nee.

[Kathleen Pooler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Saving Bobby is a painfully honest, yet realistic and riveting picture of the price families pay when addiction of a loved one strikes home. When Renee Hodges takes in her twenty-eight-year-old nephew Bobby who is suffering from an opioid addiction at the same time her best friend’s son dies from an opioid overdose, she has no idea what is in store. All she knows is that Bobby desperately needs helps and she loves him. As the mother of a son addicted to alcohol, I instantly related to Renee’s urge to save her loved one from the ravages of addiction. And yet, addiction has its own agenda and the road to recovery is fraught with detours and landmines. Acting out of love, Renee sets out to create an environment that will help Bobby find a road to recovery. It is in the slow, sometimes agonizing unfolding of this process that one can see and feel the insidious nature of addiction for both the addicted person and for those who love him.

The story is effectively structured using journal entries, emails and introspection which gives an immediacy that had me turning the pages. There were times when I wondered whether either Bobby or his family would survive even though the title “saving Bobby” indicates a positive outcome. The writing is crisp and concise and the author’s honest voice adds to the authenticity that made me as a reader trust and understand her dilemma. And I cared deeply for Bobby who comes alive on the page as a believable young man caught in the crosshairs of addiction. Yes, I was frustrated with him and often times thought of my own son whose behavior signaled the progression of his addictive disease. The son I knew was gone and addiction had the upper hand. One needs all the support they can get to deal with such heartache. In addition to her personal story, she shares the latest statistics and research about the opioid epidemic that has seized our society. This lends a sense of urgency to the problem. It can no longer be denied. Immediate action is needed by both lawmakers and by society in general.

What I liked most about this memoir is Renee’s unbridled honesty and willingness to expose her missteps and flaws along the way. No one can conquer addiction alone and she wisely taps into community resources to help Bobby. She skillfully weaves in backstory about the family’s genetic predisposition to the disease and in doing so, breaks the silence surrounding addiction that is so prevalent among families. It’s a disease shrouded in silence and shame. Saving Bobby serves to break this silence surrounding addiction and provides a beacon of hope that recovery is possible when the person has access to the right resources, including being surrounded by people who understand addiction to be a disease not a moral failing.

I highly recommend this stunning memoir for anyone affected by addiction and for those in the health care field who serve this population.

[Kim Bakos · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW - if there were more than five stars, this book would get as many as I could give it!
First let me say that everyone needs an Aunt Nee, someone who is unconditionally on your side and will move heaven and earth to help you and get you the help that you need. This doesn't apply just to those battling with addiction, but to anyone who is struggling and needs support. That can be emotional, monetary, help with finding resources, etc.... And we all need a community like the one that rallied around Bobby.
But let me take it a step further and say that every community has a Bobby, someone who is struggling and needs the proverbial village to support them until they can stand on their own. And each of us has the responsibility to be a part of that village. You never know how one small act can be the thing that keeps someone afloat. Please look for anything you can do, big or small, to help someone else out.
This is a great story of hope. Renee and her family were able to help Bobby, and now, in turn, he can go on to help and support countless others. I love how Renee's husband came around to be fully in Bobby's court. What a lesson to all of us for embracing our spouse's family as fully as our own - whether that is in-laws, stepchildren, etc...
Yes, this is the story of one man's road to recovery and the way his family and community rallied around him, but it is so much bigger than that. It is a must-read for everyone and hopefully will inspire every reader to take actions, big or small, for others.

[Becky Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riveting, emotional and exhilarating all at once. The long journey for a lost young man who is saved through the sacrifices of his aunt and her family.

Reminds us what we can do to help others - but at a huge sacrifice to our personal comfort. Not for the faint of heart.

Never, never give up screams to us in this personal journal. Loved it.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing story that captures your full attention and is hard to put down. The author is so brave and authentic. She describes the journey with her nephew and the profound impact it had on her own life and family. Thank you Renee Hodges for bringing to life so vividly the personal side of addiction.

[Lauren Singer Trakhman · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read!! I couldn’t put it down. I found myself cheering for Bobby instantly. The author does a great job of making the reader feel a part of the story - at times, my stomach churned with nerves while other sections had me rooting for Bobby as if he was a close friend. What a great read!

[Libriar · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very timely book that will appeal to adult women - especially mothers - but teens and college students will also take away a lot from the author's experiences. Perfect for book discussions at school parents' associations, religious groups, and public libraries.

[Story Circle Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In 2016 alone, over 42,000 Americans died from opioid overdoses—a twenty eight percent increase compared to 2015. Deaths from fentanyl and other synthetic opioids doubled." —Lisa Hicks, Austin American Statesman, April 28, 2018

"What happened here? Over ten years ago, doctors began assessing pain as a fifth vital sign. Physicians were instructed to reduce pain levels by prescribing any number of pain medications. Shortly thereafter, millions of Americans were beginning to use opiate based medications for even moderate levels of discomfort." —B. Georgi, Clinical Addiction Specialist

Enough cannot be said about Renee Hodges' courageous memoir chronicling a nearly two-year period in which she and her husband Will took in what seemed to be a terminal, hopeless-case opioid junkie—Renee's nephew, Bobby. President Trump may make mention of our country's current opioid crisis, but policies alone cannot accomplish what the small community depicted here in Durham, North Carolina did, as led by Renee Hodges. She states: "I didn't go into my nephew Bobby's recovery with any professional experience, but...if I wanted to help my loved one, I should surround him with an atmosphere of full disclosure and transparency, a supportive place where he could not hide nor be hidden...Addiction is not a parenting failure or something to be embarrassed about. Secrecy, cover-ups, excuses, and denial do not help an addict or recovery."

Hodges enlists the help of her own psychologist, a psychotherapist for Bobby, friends, church members, neighbors and eventually even her husband Will warms up to Bobby. Renee believes that Bobby will "change the world" in setting himself on the right path to independence, but I believe this memoir—that is, the story alone—could also change the world.

The Hodges' practical day-to-day structures, successes, failures, and thoughts found within the pages of this memoir can guide families who also struggle with how to help a loved one addicted to opioids. Uncompromising in love and support, this family strives to stay hopeful in the face of overwhelmingly unfavorable odds. Because it is an easy-to-read narrative with journal entries, emails, and texts intertwined, most readers won't want to put it down. I cried, knowing that Bobby was relapsing at one point, but bolstered myself upon reading his therapist George's comment, "Bobby's recovery has to be Bobby's recovery." It's the emotional rollercoaster of addiction that just keeps readers unsure of the outcome.

In my world, I know of five deaths of young people due to opioid overdosing, so this book spoke to me in many, many ways and on multiple levels. As Hodges writes, "It was staggering to discover how many people in my circle of friends, in my neighborhood and community, were on a parallel journey, dealing with addiction in their own families, and dealing alone." We know... and thank you, Renee Hodges, simply, thank you.

by Shawn LaTorre
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book for an honest review by Net Galley. I cried reading this book but as hard as it was to read, it was full of hope. . It is a book that makes you think. The opioid crisis is real and addiction is real. I am a nurse who has seen narcotics given out like candy, but in the past couple of years, I have also seen a decrease in doctors prescribing them. Maybe it's due to the new laws, but something had to give. Bobby is an inspiration to everyone whose been an addict or have been affected by it. A supportive family is a gift, but not everyone can deal with the problems that come with addiction. Bobby's family was a gift but so was he. . I would recommend this book to anyone dealing with this problem or others There is help out there.

[Cathy Zane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This wonderful memoir took hold of me in a way that generally only fiction does – I couldn’t put it down and read it in two nights after work. I loved how Hodges structured the book, using facts about addiction as well as email and journal entries to complement the narrative. As a psychotherapist and a nurse, I also appreciated the awareness and facts she imparts regarding the opioid crisis in our country. But Hodges, with her amazing honesty, authenticity, vulnerability and storytelling, creates a narrative that is about so much more than addiction. It is about the power of love and acceptance and the resilience of the human spirit. The pain and suffering are there, but I finished this book feeling uplifted and hopeful.

[De · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Saving Bobby" is an open and engaging look at a very topical and pressing issue in our country today. What makes the book special is the deeply personal narrative that makes Bobby a "boy next door" with a well-intended and loving family struggling to understand, and ultimately find the path to sobriety for their nephew.

Through the roller coaster of events and emotions, the author Hodges is able to capture her family's vulnerability and helplessness at times during Bobby's recovery. Bobby is treated and recovers at home, and not in a rehabilitation facility successfully. Thus, Hodges describes a path typically not taken by addicts and their families, but one that may be considered for others. And prepares readers for what to expect on that path.

Hodges' faith and spirituality play a central role in the book. They are critical elements in Bobby's path to recovery and for this family. However, the book does not focus strictly on this element, but rather the combinations of family, community support, faith and endurance that make this ongoing journey relatable to the reader.

[Tom Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start by saying that I don't read as much as I wish I did.

But every know and then, a book grabs me and grips me and I can't stop until I finish. I find myself continuing to think about the characters and the situations that unfold. This is that kind of book.
Even if the book wasn't an absolute joy to read with real, relatable characters and situations I would still recommend it becuase it's important. It's timely and necessary.

Saving Bobby introduces us to a world that is too often hidden - addiction outside of the marginalized population. Addiction in families that we know and love. Saving Bobby shows us how addiction creeps into our sanctum, taking a legitimate pathway (prescribed meds) to crush families with shame and blame. Bobby, Renee, Will, and their community tackle this problem head-on with raw honesty that needs to be embraced and emulated.

This is a book that should be read by every parent and MUST be read by every physician.

[Carol Shepard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book that kept me on the edge of my seat until I was finished. It really opened my eyes about the opioid crisis and the complexity of helping addicts to continue with their recovery after leaving rehab. This memoir is told with amazing honesty about not only the trials and struggles faced by addicts post-rehab, but about the challenges for loved ones trying to provide support during recovery. It is clear that for both the recovering addict and for their family that they need a community to surround them to help.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is uplifting, heart-wrecking, and raw. It is Bobby's story, who went from the depths of addiction and suicide to a life as a functional adult. But it is also his Aunt Renee's story. She took him in at his lowest point and, with will and determination, navigated a path to his recovery. I love that Renee wants to eliminate the stigma and shame that comes with addiction, This book was engrossing; it was like I was there—feeling the pain and emotions. With opioid addiction in the US at epidemic proportions, this is a must read.

[E Walks · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Saving Bobby" is a true story which will grab you as completely as the best fictional drama on the NYT's Bestseller List. It is profound book, which will take you on a journey from a belly laugh to a gut punch, and back again. Pick it up, and you will not want to put it down. The only solace after reading, is that you will wish to share it with friend's and family. I hope this story gets out there, and takes a well deserved place on the big stage. Don't miss it.

[Tena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won signed Advanced Readers Copy #GoodreadsGiveaway

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Difficult subject but well worth the read!! More uplifting than depressing. A must read!

[Lisa Lempin dinkel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really hits home

Ours is a family of substance abusers , drug addicts and this is a great inspiration of hope which I don't have at this time

[Billy Buttons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: Saving Bobby: Heroes and Heroin in One Small Community
Author: Renee R. Hodges

Star Rating: 5 Stars
Number of Readers: 22
Stats
Editing: 9/10
Writing Style: 9/10
Content: 10/10
Cover: 19/10
Of the 22 readers:
21 would read another book by this author.
19 thought the cover was good or excellent.
20 felt it was easy to follow.
21 would recommend this story to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 12 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘subject knowledge’.
Of all the readers, 10 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style.
22 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
21 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.

Readers’ Comments
‘If only every addict had a supportive community/family like this. Possibly, if everybody read books of this nature, they’d understand how important it is to stand by people even when it’s uncomfortable to do so. Bravely written. Well done to the author.’ Female reader, aged 43
‘A story like this just shows how, with a lot of help and support – and a positive attitude, even a problem like this can be overcome.’ Male reader. aged 44
‘Addiction to pain killers is a huge problem in society. The quick fix is so often chosen due to the short term lack of expense. The problem is, in the long term, the resulting addictions are very costly to society and the health care system. Although this is set in the US, it’s very relevant to the UK and the rest of the world too.’ Male reader, aged 39
‘I thought this autobiographical account of life with Bobby was enthralling.’ Male reader, age 76
‘A very inspiring look at addiction and how it can be overcome with the right support.’ Female reader, aged 64
‘Anybody who works with or knows somebody with alcohol, drug or any sort of addiction should read this book.’ Female reader (nurse), aged 48

To Sum It Up:
‘A superbly written looking at addiction and the problems it can cause in a family and a small community. A FINALIST and highly recommended.’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards

[Hayden Pyke · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's hard to be negative about this book when the struggle for the author and her family is very real and very difficult.

Not to take anything away from their achievements, but this is the story of a very wealthy woman who dedicates her time to help her nephew recover from addiction in the most privileged ways imaginable. The vast majority of those looking for insight into how to turn around addiction for themselves or others won't find much here other than support from family is essential.

The writing is passionate though a little simplistic, the narrative, predictable but heartfelt. This is the kind of addiction-lite book that might interest those disappointed to find out James Frey made up a chunk of A million little pieces. Intake my hat off to this family for all they have done, it's just reinforces recovery is for the rich.

[Diana Mack · Rating 2 out of 5]

the author has experience with addiction..both her brother and father were alcoholics. when her brother's son, bobby, develops addiction, she stepped into help
the story doesn't go into details about bobby's addiction. it is about his stay with her while she gets him the help he needs. she has the funds to help him..he sees everyone under the sun and she stays on him with weekly meeting and planning
but...for me...it was more a book on how she devoted her life to this young man. her wealthy friends backed her up. she did fit in some very nice vacations and a lot of tennis. it just seemed more a book about her than him. not what I was expecting. admittedly I wanted gritty details and maybe that's another reason this book didn't work for me

[Kaylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! What an incredibly honest depiction of the damage shame can cause and how a community, with Renee as their compelling leader, can come together to support someone trying to pull himself out of the dark hole of addiction. Saving Bobby held back no punches to deliver a raw, unfiltered narrative of what addition can do to friends and families. The experiences Renee describes in this book transcend all socioeconomic status demonstrating the unbiased-evil addiction can cause. I highly recommend this book because it not only highlights the severity of a serious epidemic in our country but showcases the power love can have to combat addiction.

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read. My husband has an old friend that is an addict, and after an incident in 2005, I’ve spent years banning him from my home. This book has helped me realize that he is still a person, with a good heart, a steady paycheck, and desire to be loved. He needs help and guidance -not judgement from me. I’m not able to open my home like Renee did with Bobby, but I can, at least, open the door and invite him back in. Thank you.

[Leigha Saur · Rating 4 out of 5]

No one in life goes through life unscathed, and the view of generational trauma in this story was powerful. I have become dedicated to better understanding how to help someone with recovery. You can feel her love and dedication for her family. I was so worried she would turn him away after a relapse, but her unconditional love restored my hope. I know there were so many highs and lows after this story ended, and I would love to know more about where they are today.

[HSAlexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply personal and heartfelt, this book really hits home. Hodges retells the story of her experience assisting her nephew on his path to becoming clean and sober. The book is filled with genuine emotion, and is at times raw and heartbreaking, but turn the page and Hodges' love of family and life shines on. We all need an Aunt Nee in our corner!

[Rose Nyenhuis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for anyone who is concerned about the opioid problem in America. It also gave me great understanding in the shame and guilt that addicts carry with them. The author wrote about her experience with an addicted relative in this honest and open memoir. What an amazing woman this author is!

[Lynn R · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is ultimately a good feel book told by a very honest and forthright author. She took in her nephew at the low point of his addiction. They ran into obstacles, and her nephew and she and her husband made some mistakes along the way, but their deep love and commitment to saving his life transcended these and carried him forward.

[Finney Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great interesting book on addiction and the pain it’s causes.
I love books on addiction. This is also a book on families!
Renee was a brave aunt who took her nephew in when he needed it most!
Prayerfully the cycle of addiction is broken in their family!
It’s a quick read!

[LESLI A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! informative and inspiring.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5