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The Journal
What do you do when you lose the only thing that you truly care for?
Ethan Willis is a confused 18 year old who struggles with the uncertainties of life and has just embarked on a quest to find his elder sister, Charlotte, who disappeared whilst travelling in South East Asia. Ethan admires and idolises his sister for her spontaneity, individualism and worldly understanding. His quest to locate her throws him into the backpacking world and, following what could be his sister’s ghost, he is taken on a journey through the countryside of Cambodia, into the remotest parts of Laos and finally to the party islands of Thailand.
When Ethan finds his sister’s journal by chance, he traces her footsteps. The travel journal, along with flashbacks to their childhood, reveals Charlotte’s nature and her relationship with Ethan, taking the young man on an existential journey as he is led to address many of his questions about meaning, truth and beauty.
With the help of a Elodie, a fragile and complex girl with whom he has developed a meaningful relationship, and his own growing sense of self-esteem, Ethan begins to question his relationship with his sister and why she disappeared. When he finally learns of a place in which he might be able to locate his sister, will he be ready to find her?
Ethan Willis is a confused 18 year old who struggles with the uncertainties of life and has just embarked on a quest to find his elder sister, Charlotte, who disappeared whilst travelling in South East Asia. Ethan admires and idolises his sister for her spontaneity, individualism and worldly understanding. His quest to locate her throws him into the backpacking world and, following what could be his sister’s ghost, he is taken on a journey through the countryside of Cambodia, into the remotest parts of Laos and finally to the party islands of Thailand.
When Ethan finds his sister’s journal by chance, he traces her footsteps. The travel journal, along with flashbacks to their childhood, reveals Charlotte’s nature and her relationship with Ethan, taking the young man on an existential journey as he is led to address many of his questions about meaning, truth and beauty.
With the help of a Elodie, a fragile and complex girl with whom he has developed a meaningful relationship, and his own growing sense of self-esteem, Ethan begins to question his relationship with his sister and why she disappeared. When he finally learns of a place in which he might be able to locate his sister, will he be ready to find her?
253 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 28, 2017
About the author
R.D. Stevens
3 books11 followersR. D. STEVENS grew up in Kent, England, with an overactive imagination and a love of big questions.
His award-winning YA debut, 'The Journal', was released by Vulpine Press in August '22, and 'The Freeze', his sophomore novel, was released in Jan '23. He has also had short stories, creative non-fiction, and academic writing published in various destinations. He was shortlisted for the Olga Sinclair Prize 2023, longlisted for the Aurora National Short Fiction Prize 2023, and has won awards for his novels, including the Literary Titan Gold Book Award for ‘The Freeze’, and the Chill With a Book Reader’s Award for ‘The Journal’.
His latest novel - 'Ezra and the Great Bin Jah Meen' - is published by Dreamsphere Books and was released on 6th December 2024.
Outside of writing, after spending many years in secondary school teaching, he currently works at King's College University, is studying for a PhD, and loves to read books, play the guitar, and talk about existentialism (with anyone who'll listen). He lives in London with his family and FOMO-suffering dog.
His award-winning YA debut, 'The Journal', was released by Vulpine Press in August '22, and 'The Freeze', his sophomore novel, was released in Jan '23. He has also had short stories, creative non-fiction, and academic writing published in various destinations. He was shortlisted for the Olga Sinclair Prize 2023, longlisted for the Aurora National Short Fiction Prize 2023, and has won awards for his novels, including the Literary Titan Gold Book Award for ‘The Freeze’, and the Chill With a Book Reader’s Award for ‘The Journal’.
His latest novel - 'Ezra and the Great Bin Jah Meen' - is published by Dreamsphere Books and was released on 6th December 2024.
Outside of writing, after spending many years in secondary school teaching, he currently works at King's College University, is studying for a PhD, and loves to read books, play the guitar, and talk about existentialism (with anyone who'll listen). He lives in London with his family and FOMO-suffering dog.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
April 1, 2018
I really enjoyed this book, which to me had to do with the characters psyche. (the human soul, mind, or spirit.) and all three of these come into play
It is a story of questions, seeking answers and trying to find ones own way in a life full of uncertainties. Its interesting use of Aphorism, and the need to know things, makes this a very interesting story of people who just see things differently.
It is the story of a sister and brother, Charlotte and Ethan who are a couple of years apart, but who had always been there for each other, until the sister takes off, to live her reality and leaves a confused brother, full of questions. She seems to have fallen off the radar in South East Asia, and that is where Ethan decides to go in search of her, having only a clue from her last correspondence, and this takes him on a journey through Cambodia, Laos and Thailand. Once there he finds the place she had last been seen, and by chance she had moved on without her diary. This diary not only gives him a clue as to where she is heading, but through flashback to their family life, we can more clearly see how their lives were together.
Ethan meets people that help him figure out where he needs to go, who give him support and camaraderie and try to answer some of his questions..
Elodie, a young woman he meets who is also trying to find her wants and needs, joins him on his journey to find his sister. They have a strong bond and are a good support for each other.
This is not a story that will wrap up in a neat or clear conclusion in many ways but it was a story that was very interesting to read. The author has a very descriptive way of writing and the reader will feel like they are there with the characters on their journey.
A very unexpected read which I appreciated.
I would like to thank NetGalley and Troubadore Publishing (Matador) for the ARC of this book
It is a story of questions, seeking answers and trying to find ones own way in a life full of uncertainties. Its interesting use of Aphorism, and the need to know things, makes this a very interesting story of people who just see things differently.
It is the story of a sister and brother, Charlotte and Ethan who are a couple of years apart, but who had always been there for each other, until the sister takes off, to live her reality and leaves a confused brother, full of questions. She seems to have fallen off the radar in South East Asia, and that is where Ethan decides to go in search of her, having only a clue from her last correspondence, and this takes him on a journey through Cambodia, Laos and Thailand. Once there he finds the place she had last been seen, and by chance she had moved on without her diary. This diary not only gives him a clue as to where she is heading, but through flashback to their family life, we can more clearly see how their lives were together.
Ethan meets people that help him figure out where he needs to go, who give him support and camaraderie and try to answer some of his questions..
Elodie, a young woman he meets who is also trying to find her wants and needs, joins him on his journey to find his sister. They have a strong bond and are a good support for each other.
This is not a story that will wrap up in a neat or clear conclusion in many ways but it was a story that was very interesting to read. The author has a very descriptive way of writing and the reader will feel like they are there with the characters on their journey.
A very unexpected read which I appreciated.
I would like to thank NetGalley and Troubadore Publishing (Matador) for the ARC of this book
July 3, 2018
Remarkable story superbly combining philosophical insight and gritty reality
Ethan was always close to his clever, thoughtful sister Charlotte. While growing up, she was the person he most loved, idolised, and emulated, and it was she who influenced him more than anyone else, shaping the person he wanted to be. So, when Charlotte drops out of university and disappears in South East Asia without a word, Ethan travels to Cambodia to find her. With the help of a fellow traveller, he follows her trail to Laos and Thailand, experiencing all the joys and travails of backpacking while questioning the world around him as Charlotte taught him to do.
Moving childhood memories and insightful philosophical musings deftly intertwine with the main plot of Ethan’s quest to find Charlotte, taking the reader on a memorable journey of both geography and mind. The reality of backpacking is vividly evoked as Ethan is immersed in a world of cheap hostels, spicy food, bus journeys, boat trips, motorbike rides, stunning landscapes, escapades in the wild, and a colourful cast of characters. The search for Charlotte unfurls at a leisurely pace but never fails to excite and engross, leaving the reader on tenterhooks for the resolution. Will Ethan find her? If not, will we ever discover what happened to her? And if he does find her, how will she – and he – react? The existential contemplations interspersed throughout are fascinating and absorbing; complex yet accessible, never talking down to or patronising the reader.
A captivating and erudite read, The Journal is a singular mystery adventure which engages on an intellectual and emotional level. Highly recommended.
Arwen Evenstar
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review
Ethan was always close to his clever, thoughtful sister Charlotte. While growing up, she was the person he most loved, idolised, and emulated, and it was she who influenced him more than anyone else, shaping the person he wanted to be. So, when Charlotte drops out of university and disappears in South East Asia without a word, Ethan travels to Cambodia to find her. With the help of a fellow traveller, he follows her trail to Laos and Thailand, experiencing all the joys and travails of backpacking while questioning the world around him as Charlotte taught him to do.
Moving childhood memories and insightful philosophical musings deftly intertwine with the main plot of Ethan’s quest to find Charlotte, taking the reader on a memorable journey of both geography and mind. The reality of backpacking is vividly evoked as Ethan is immersed in a world of cheap hostels, spicy food, bus journeys, boat trips, motorbike rides, stunning landscapes, escapades in the wild, and a colourful cast of characters. The search for Charlotte unfurls at a leisurely pace but never fails to excite and engross, leaving the reader on tenterhooks for the resolution. Will Ethan find her? If not, will we ever discover what happened to her? And if he does find her, how will she – and he – react? The existential contemplations interspersed throughout are fascinating and absorbing; complex yet accessible, never talking down to or patronising the reader.
A captivating and erudite read, The Journal is a singular mystery adventure which engages on an intellectual and emotional level. Highly recommended.
Arwen Evenstar
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review
July 17, 2022
Ethan Willis arrives in Cambodia in search of his sister, Charlotte, who has been missing for 6 months. As he journeys deeper into the country, following clues along the way, the questions of where she is bump into competing questions about who she is...or who she was. And who Ethan himself is and who he wants to be.
That's the loose outline of The Journal, a heady and enjoyable debut from author R.D. Stevens. This book brought back memories of college, when life's biggest questions (Why are we here? What's the point of all this? Is there a God?) seemed not only deeply important, but actually answerable. As if you could tunnel to the center of it all if you just keep searching for the answers and talking to your friends for long enough.
Along his journey, Ethan meets an interesting cast of characters as he reconciles with his family's past, and the real reasons his sister left home in the first place. His interactions with the country's locals are some of the most interesting. Ethan comes to Cambodia feeling like it was Charlotte who was lost and searching, but soon realizes that his own life, and his sense of self, are also a moving target.
The novel's structure and unwillingness to provide easy answers are part of what make it so compelling. And something different among a lot of modern YA offerings. This book wants its readers to really think, to sit in a place of wondering and curiosity.
It helps that Stevens is such a thoughtful, evocative writer. While there's a lot of internal monologue with Ethan as our guide, it's balanced by beautiful descriptions of places, people, and unfamiliar cultures that thrust us into the moment, and make us feel the dust and the breeze.
This one was a thoughtful, fun, and unexpected treat!
That's the loose outline of The Journal, a heady and enjoyable debut from author R.D. Stevens. This book brought back memories of college, when life's biggest questions (Why are we here? What's the point of all this? Is there a God?) seemed not only deeply important, but actually answerable. As if you could tunnel to the center of it all if you just keep searching for the answers and talking to your friends for long enough.
Along his journey, Ethan meets an interesting cast of characters as he reconciles with his family's past, and the real reasons his sister left home in the first place. His interactions with the country's locals are some of the most interesting. Ethan comes to Cambodia feeling like it was Charlotte who was lost and searching, but soon realizes that his own life, and his sense of self, are also a moving target.
The novel's structure and unwillingness to provide easy answers are part of what make it so compelling. And something different among a lot of modern YA offerings. This book wants its readers to really think, to sit in a place of wondering and curiosity.
It helps that Stevens is such a thoughtful, evocative writer. While there's a lot of internal monologue with Ethan as our guide, it's balanced by beautiful descriptions of places, people, and unfamiliar cultures that thrust us into the moment, and make us feel the dust and the breeze.
This one was a thoughtful, fun, and unexpected treat!
August 22, 2022
The Journal is overflowing with so many wonderful attributes: Things I crave in YA novels, but don’t always make the cut—rich scenery, food that makes me salivate, relationships that make my head tilt in curiosity, and flashback chapters that actually enhance the narrative in a really substantial way. I also love novels where chapters alone would make a great story itself. The Journal is a riveting read, and one that stays with you. Stevens is so skilled in his ability to pull you into new settings with new characters with ease—as if you were on a new adventure at every turn, feeling invested in new people. That’s not easy to do, as sometimes novels have too many new faces and names, and you get lost in the chaos. Not here. This novel makes me want to travel more, and learn about every corner of the world, so different from mine. My heart grew and broke for Ethan on the regular. Charlotte’s razor-sharp absence is such a powerful force immediately and throughout. I found myself highlighting various passages as I read, because they made me think, feel, and pause. The Journal is a stunning YA debut for R.D. Stevens, and I look forward to more. Here is one of my favorite passages:
“Answers and questions I had never considered. They climbed into my mind, settling and changing things. They restructured the rooms in the cathedral: my thoughts, my ideas, my life.
If only I could have sat everyone else down and explained. They would have appreciated her the same way I did.
She had spoken in worlds. She would create them out of nothing and set them free and allow them to evolve. I would dive in and get lost. Sometimes she would guide me through, picking apart her creation piece by piece.”
Excerpt From: R. D. Stevens. “THE JOURNAL.” Apple Books.
“Answers and questions I had never considered. They climbed into my mind, settling and changing things. They restructured the rooms in the cathedral: my thoughts, my ideas, my life.
If only I could have sat everyone else down and explained. They would have appreciated her the same way I did.
She had spoken in worlds. She would create them out of nothing and set them free and allow them to evolve. I would dive in and get lost. Sometimes she would guide me through, picking apart her creation piece by piece.”
Excerpt From: R. D. Stevens. “THE JOURNAL.” Apple Books.
August 31, 2022
The Journal is a compelling, thought-provoking YA story about 18-year-old Ethan who travels to Southeast Asia to look for his missing sister, Charlotte. The story includes beautiful descriptions of exotic lands and made me want to visit every last place Ethan does.
I enjoyed the dual timelines and getting to know magical Charlotte and the special bond between Ethan and his protective older sister. I found myself emotionally invested, wondering what Ethan would find at the end of his journey—was his sister dead or alive? Or would he even find her at all?
One highlight was seeing painfully shy Ethan reluctantly form friendships with people from all over the world, especially with one girl in particular, with whom a romantic relationship was developed.
Parts of the book are beautifully written, parts are wildly funny, making my cheeks and stomach hurt from laughter, parts are heartbreaking and brought me close to tears and parts are philosophical and had me pause and really think. I enjoyed getting a glimpse into Stevens’ fascinating mind!
I enjoyed the dual timelines and getting to know magical Charlotte and the special bond between Ethan and his protective older sister. I found myself emotionally invested, wondering what Ethan would find at the end of his journey—was his sister dead or alive? Or would he even find her at all?
One highlight was seeing painfully shy Ethan reluctantly form friendships with people from all over the world, especially with one girl in particular, with whom a romantic relationship was developed.
Parts of the book are beautifully written, parts are wildly funny, making my cheeks and stomach hurt from laughter, parts are heartbreaking and brought me close to tears and parts are philosophical and had me pause and really think. I enjoyed getting a glimpse into Stevens’ fascinating mind!
July 26, 2019
Wow. A wonderful surprise under any circumstance, not least because it came through my Bookbub email as a bargain book! I would have paid full price.
I was debating between 4.75 and 5, so I'm going with 5 because this book just has soooooo damn much!
It is about love, and family, separation and feelings of inadequacy, siblings and the joy, pain and envy they can create within one another. But wait...there's more!
There is suspense and adventure, beautiful writing, thoughtful examinations of life and behaviour.
It is introspective in one moment, "Life of Pi" fantastical in the next.
There is a look at "the 1%", privilege vs the beauty of simplicity, and a fascinating sense of spirituality and writing that is downright poetic at times.
It is an odyssey that begins with an intended goal but unleashes so much more, and I didn't want it to end.
I LOVED this book!
I was debating between 4.75 and 5, so I'm going with 5 because this book just has soooooo damn much!
It is about love, and family, separation and feelings of inadequacy, siblings and the joy, pain and envy they can create within one another. But wait...there's more!
There is suspense and adventure, beautiful writing, thoughtful examinations of life and behaviour.
It is introspective in one moment, "Life of Pi" fantastical in the next.
There is a look at "the 1%", privilege vs the beauty of simplicity, and a fascinating sense of spirituality and writing that is downright poetic at times.
It is an odyssey that begins with an intended goal but unleashes so much more, and I didn't want it to end.
I LOVED this book!
December 30, 2017
Thank you Netgalley and Troubador Publishing for the ARC
"There's nothing worse than freedom when you have no place to be." This book touched me to the core. Charlotte's habit of writing aphorisms and Ethan's dealing with modes, kindred spirits thinking deep thoughts, so beautiful it hurts. I couldn't put it down and kept highlighting.
Enter Southeast Asia, very well described sights, sounds, smells and a bit of history. I could just picture myself covered in red-orange dust, on a mission to find out what happened to Charlotte.
The Journal is a gem of a story moving at a great pace, a must read!
"There's nothing worse than freedom when you have no place to be." This book touched me to the core. Charlotte's habit of writing aphorisms and Ethan's dealing with modes, kindred spirits thinking deep thoughts, so beautiful it hurts. I couldn't put it down and kept highlighting.
Enter Southeast Asia, very well described sights, sounds, smells and a bit of history. I could just picture myself covered in red-orange dust, on a mission to find out what happened to Charlotte.
The Journal is a gem of a story moving at a great pace, a must read!
June 24, 2018
Heartbreaking, thought provoking, and simply beautiful. The descriptions of Southeast Asia were so vivid that you felt like you were riding along on a moto right next to Ethan. But it was the exploration of Ethan’s inner world that grabs your heart and doesn’t let go. If you’re looking for light entertainment, look elsewhere. But if you want to think with your heart as well as your mind, you will fall deeply into this book and not want to leave.
September 2, 2019
I enjoyed it, the adventures of travel, the complexity of human nature. A lot of food for thought. However, I was confused by the ending, it read more like a short story than a novel. I kept trying to turn the page for more....while it’s nice to have some things left up to reader imagination, too much, IMHO , was left unresolved.
December 1, 2022
One of the best books I've read this year. Its filled with beautiful images and ambiguity, and very much in the vein of Salinger. BRAVO!
July 20, 2023
As a teenager I always wanted an older sister (I had an older brother who put me in painful headlocks!), so I looked forward to reading this book and it didn't disappoint. The traveling aspects reminded me of my time interrailing and staying in hostels with similar characters that rang true. I never traveled in Cambodia so for me that was a bonus, with the detective story keeping it flowing nicely forwards. I also liked the philosophical stance, asking the questions of what is it all about. I think older teenagers, and adults like myself will find this an easy, flowing and interesting read.
October 27, 2022
A wonderful and complex read!
RD Stevens takes us on an adventure in all senses of the word. Not only is there the thrilling plotline of a brother, Ethan, seeking their lost sibling, but the deeper questions around human nature. The story is at times heartwarming, heartbreaking, and ultimately satisfying through and through.
I highly recommend The Journal to fans of adventure novels that take you to new places!
RD Stevens takes us on an adventure in all senses of the word. Not only is there the thrilling plotline of a brother, Ethan, seeking their lost sibling, but the deeper questions around human nature. The story is at times heartwarming, heartbreaking, and ultimately satisfying through and through.
I highly recommend The Journal to fans of adventure novels that take you to new places!
May 23, 2022
Got to page 231 of 358 before stopping. Trying way too hard to be profound, just ends up repetitive and without much of a plot. Skimmed the last few pages for the ending and would have been annoyed if I'd wasted any more time on it
September 29, 2024
a wonderful read
It’s a delicate, but complex story, that will leave you with questions and answers and definitely a lot to think about
It’s a delicate, but complex story, that will leave you with questions and answers and definitely a lot to think about
May 18, 2018
There is a key moment in Robin Stevens’ The Journal when Ethan Willis, a young man who journeys to Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand in search of his missing sister, Charlotte, is confronted with the brute existence of Evil in the shape of S-21 in Phnom Penh. S-21 was a major Khmer Rouge torture chamber, where many thousands of people were murdered. Ethan gazes at the crude paintings made by former prisoners on the walls of their hell; sees the blood and the smiling onlookers depicted in the images. In the visitors’ book he reads the wholly inadequate responses of western tourists: ‘How terrible …’, ‘Give peace a chance.’ A tearful Cambodian woman says something to him he does not understand, touches him momentarily.
Ethan is much concerned with depth. Digging deep into life can reveal complexities that confuse and unsettle. Yet Evil is not inexplicable: it has causes and contexts, victims and perpetrators. Neither is it inevitable: it can be prevented and extinguished. Gazing upon its works with silent incomprehension or with trite responses only prepares the ground for its return. Charlotte says in one of her invented aphorisms, ‘If God exists, why wouldn’t one day of evil a year be enough for us to tell the difference between right and wrong?’ But telling the difference is not the issue; it’s making a difference that counts.
Ethan’s quest for his sister is of course another manifestation of the male quest for an absent/abducted female, with profound roots in western myth and culture. (For instance, is it by chance or subconscious calculation that Ethan shares his name with Ethan Edwards, the agonized and lonely outsider who propels that great conflicted exemplar of the search narrative, The Searchers?) It is seldom solely the search for a missing person; often, a principle is at stake, a way of seeing and living, a whole that is no longer whole. ‘I wanted so badly to feel whole somehow,’ Ethan tells us, revealing the lack he knows is there, the impossibility of being himself until he finds himself somewhere on his journey through the heat and dust of Southeast Asia. The sights and sounds of Cambodia, Laos and Thailand are described in a kind of frenzied physicality – unceasing perspiration, the squalor of backpacker hostels, the ubiquitous motorbikes, the contrast between tasteless approximations of pizzas and genuine Cambodian food enjoyed in an unprepossessing structure crammed into a narrow side street.
Sister Charlotte fled the family home, leaving Ethan to cope with his loss amid the silent anger of his morally unimaginative father and his bewildered mother, both of whom created a dull, stifling domesticity that left little room for love or spontaneity. The Journal deftly suggests the emotional vacuum at the heart of the Willis household, the words never spoken and the things left undone. This is another kind of evil, spelt with a small ‘e’ and cloaked in middle-class desperation.
Until she ceases to communicate, Ethan does not have the internal resources to emulate his older sister, whose spell he is under because she has always been just that little bit more mature, more dreamy, less ordinary than he. The Journal is constructed around his recollections of Charlotte, which seep into his mind at unguarded moments: the time she talked about the beauty of the stars; when he found her weeping over a dead hedgehog; when she built him a transformatron from cardboard boxes, into which he could crawl and be transformed into anything he wished – an eagle perhaps, his wings outstretched as he soars around the bedroom – but visible only to her. Visible only to her.
Ethan lives life in modes: survival mode, social mode, cool mode. He is unacquainted with himself, but will gradually learn who he is as his quest develops, as he finds love, and discovers skills and qualities he didn’t know he possessed. He will finish reading his sister’s journal for clues to her whereabouts and will commence his own. There is not just one journal in The Journal, but two.
Ethan has a ‘dark place’ inside him, he knows that much. One of his own aphorisms summarizes his experience: ‘A beautiful world means nothing if everything you care about gets ruined.’ Later, he says: ‘I wish the world could go back to the way it had been before it got ruined. Before it all got so messed up.’ Charlotte tells him not to worry: ‘You’re not stupid. It’s the world that’s stupid.’
The Journal takes itself seriously even as we wonder whether we should agree. Christina in Cambodia is typical of many young westerners whom Ethan meets:
Clearly, Christina is unaware that to express scepticism of this nature in an evidential vacuum merely be asserting the possibility of doubt is incoherent. This kind of adolescent thinking has its place, but we should be wary of building a life or a novel upon such foundations. Similar nonsense is spouted by Charlotte: ‘So if all life is suffering anyway, then why not smoke? What difference does it make? If it gives you relief from the torment of living, then it must be a good thing.’ Come back in twenty years and tell us that.
The trouble with travel is that it can narrow the mind rather than broaden it, confirming us in our prejudices and delusions, tutoring us in the ways of self-righteousness. Ethan’s great learning appears to be ‘The world is an amazing place, I know this now.’ That’s all right then. He tells us he ‘felt the attraction of a real travelling experience for the first time.’ His friend Seija says, ‘I travel to see different ways of life and to dive into them as deep as I can go.’ But there’s depth and there is depth, and one suspects that Seija is merely paddling rather than exploring the abyss. In other words, there is nothing inherently praiseworthy about travelling to far-away places – not if it culminates in the kind of solipsistic apotheosis contained in Charlotte’s self-regarding verses: ‘I am the World’ – dear girl, we can assure you you’re not and never will be.
The Journal is thus principally concerned with western individuals churning up other people’s cultural and physical environments with their motorbikes and all-night beach parties, blithely unaware of their largely egocentric and instrumental approach to the world they despoil. What one might accept initially as gently accurate satire of youthful pretensions becomes the unsettling suspicion that we are meant to take much of this seriously – that the novel is as blind as many of its characters. It is a significant ambiguity that colours appreciation of the novel’s moral stance, which might seem trivial, or empty, or both.
There are also minor problems: an overuse of italics for emphasis (depth); occasional typos; some uncertainty about tenses. These mistakes aside, The Journal is an enjoyable and interesting novel, full of delightful observation, characters at whom we can smile, and situations that can make us wince inside. The countries it visits are immensely real: there is never any doubt that we are there, feeling just as hot and dusty as Ethan, and local people are not presented as curious specimens for our entertainment. As for the ethics of travel, the luxury of choosing what to believe may soon be a thing of the past.
For an interesting response to this review from the author himself, see https://www.jackmessenger.co.uk/the-j...
Ethan is much concerned with depth. Digging deep into life can reveal complexities that confuse and unsettle. Yet Evil is not inexplicable: it has causes and contexts, victims and perpetrators. Neither is it inevitable: it can be prevented and extinguished. Gazing upon its works with silent incomprehension or with trite responses only prepares the ground for its return. Charlotte says in one of her invented aphorisms, ‘If God exists, why wouldn’t one day of evil a year be enough for us to tell the difference between right and wrong?’ But telling the difference is not the issue; it’s making a difference that counts.
Ethan’s quest for his sister is of course another manifestation of the male quest for an absent/abducted female, with profound roots in western myth and culture. (For instance, is it by chance or subconscious calculation that Ethan shares his name with Ethan Edwards, the agonized and lonely outsider who propels that great conflicted exemplar of the search narrative, The Searchers?) It is seldom solely the search for a missing person; often, a principle is at stake, a way of seeing and living, a whole that is no longer whole. ‘I wanted so badly to feel whole somehow,’ Ethan tells us, revealing the lack he knows is there, the impossibility of being himself until he finds himself somewhere on his journey through the heat and dust of Southeast Asia. The sights and sounds of Cambodia, Laos and Thailand are described in a kind of frenzied physicality – unceasing perspiration, the squalor of backpacker hostels, the ubiquitous motorbikes, the contrast between tasteless approximations of pizzas and genuine Cambodian food enjoyed in an unprepossessing structure crammed into a narrow side street.
Sister Charlotte fled the family home, leaving Ethan to cope with his loss amid the silent anger of his morally unimaginative father and his bewildered mother, both of whom created a dull, stifling domesticity that left little room for love or spontaneity. The Journal deftly suggests the emotional vacuum at the heart of the Willis household, the words never spoken and the things left undone. This is another kind of evil, spelt with a small ‘e’ and cloaked in middle-class desperation.
Until she ceases to communicate, Ethan does not have the internal resources to emulate his older sister, whose spell he is under because she has always been just that little bit more mature, more dreamy, less ordinary than he. The Journal is constructed around his recollections of Charlotte, which seep into his mind at unguarded moments: the time she talked about the beauty of the stars; when he found her weeping over a dead hedgehog; when she built him a transformatron from cardboard boxes, into which he could crawl and be transformed into anything he wished – an eagle perhaps, his wings outstretched as he soars around the bedroom – but visible only to her. Visible only to her.
Ethan lives life in modes: survival mode, social mode, cool mode. He is unacquainted with himself, but will gradually learn who he is as his quest develops, as he finds love, and discovers skills and qualities he didn’t know he possessed. He will finish reading his sister’s journal for clues to her whereabouts and will commence his own. There is not just one journal in The Journal, but two.
Ethan has a ‘dark place’ inside him, he knows that much. One of his own aphorisms summarizes his experience: ‘A beautiful world means nothing if everything you care about gets ruined.’ Later, he says: ‘I wish the world could go back to the way it had been before it got ruined. Before it all got so messed up.’ Charlotte tells him not to worry: ‘You’re not stupid. It’s the world that’s stupid.’
The Journal takes itself seriously even as we wonder whether we should agree. Christina in Cambodia is typical of many young westerners whom Ethan meets:
‘I mean,’ she carried on, ‘if you look at objects in the world, stuff that we perceive, like … this glass.’ She picked up her drink and held it in the air, raising her eyebrows. ‘How do you know that it exists? Really exists? Sure, we can say that it exists now, because we’re experiencing it. But if you think about it, the only time you know it’s there is when you are experiencing it. How do you know that anything exists when you aren’t looking at it, or hearing it or touching it?’
Clearly, Christina is unaware that to express scepticism of this nature in an evidential vacuum merely be asserting the possibility of doubt is incoherent. This kind of adolescent thinking has its place, but we should be wary of building a life or a novel upon such foundations. Similar nonsense is spouted by Charlotte: ‘So if all life is suffering anyway, then why not smoke? What difference does it make? If it gives you relief from the torment of living, then it must be a good thing.’ Come back in twenty years and tell us that.
The trouble with travel is that it can narrow the mind rather than broaden it, confirming us in our prejudices and delusions, tutoring us in the ways of self-righteousness. Ethan’s great learning appears to be ‘The world is an amazing place, I know this now.’ That’s all right then. He tells us he ‘felt the attraction of a real travelling experience for the first time.’ His friend Seija says, ‘I travel to see different ways of life and to dive into them as deep as I can go.’ But there’s depth and there is depth, and one suspects that Seija is merely paddling rather than exploring the abyss. In other words, there is nothing inherently praiseworthy about travelling to far-away places – not if it culminates in the kind of solipsistic apotheosis contained in Charlotte’s self-regarding verses: ‘I am the World’ – dear girl, we can assure you you’re not and never will be.
The Journal is thus principally concerned with western individuals churning up other people’s cultural and physical environments with their motorbikes and all-night beach parties, blithely unaware of their largely egocentric and instrumental approach to the world they despoil. What one might accept initially as gently accurate satire of youthful pretensions becomes the unsettling suspicion that we are meant to take much of this seriously – that the novel is as blind as many of its characters. It is a significant ambiguity that colours appreciation of the novel’s moral stance, which might seem trivial, or empty, or both.
There are also minor problems: an overuse of italics for emphasis (depth); occasional typos; some uncertainty about tenses. These mistakes aside, The Journal is an enjoyable and interesting novel, full of delightful observation, characters at whom we can smile, and situations that can make us wince inside. The countries it visits are immensely real: there is never any doubt that we are there, feeling just as hot and dusty as Ethan, and local people are not presented as curious specimens for our entertainment. As for the ethics of travel, the luxury of choosing what to believe may soon be a thing of the past.
For an interesting response to this review from the author himself, see https://www.jackmessenger.co.uk/the-j...
June 19, 2022
This is a story of a boy in search of himself. He thinks he is searching for his missing sister. During this search, he turns from his dark place and enters the light. What I liked best about this book was the descriptions of of the different Southeast Asian countries and the people that inhabit them. What I didn’t like about the book was all the philosophical ideas that were brought up. Another thing that I didn’t like was having to read about the disfunctional family that Charlotte and Ethan grew up in. At the same time, I realize that it was that disfunction that caused Charlotte to leave and Ethan to go searching for her. I am rating this book 3 stars. I would recommend it be read only for the descriptions of the countries and its people.
October 28, 2022
One thing I really enjoyed about this book was how Ethan idolized his sister, then learned more about who she really was while she was missing. That is one of my favorite things in books, how narrators learn that no one is perfect, even their role models, and how Ethan turned that questioning inward to learn more about himself and who he really was. Great book for someone who likes to travel too.
April 6, 2024
This is my debut novel and will always hold a special place in my heart
August 8, 2019
This was just an okay read for me. It didn't work well as a "mystery" and although it took place on another continent, I didn't feel steeped in the culture of that country; the story was so lacking in atmosphere for me that it could have taken place in Anyplace. The ending was anti-climactic and disappointing for me and I felt the author didn't paint the main characters in bright enough colours--they were diluted.
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