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Twenty Years: After "I Do"
May/December memoirs.
In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.
Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.
In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.
Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.
- GenresMemoir
140 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 30, 2017
3 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
About the author
D.G. Kaye
11 books143 followersD.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.
Kaye writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and the lessons that were taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome some of the many obstacles that challenged her. From an emotionally neglected childhood, to growing up with a narcissistic mother, leaving her with a severely deflated self-esteem, D.G. began seeking a path to rise above her issues.
When Kaye isn't writing intimate memoirs, she'll bring her natural sense of humor into her other works.
D.G. began writing when pen and paper became tools to express her pent-up emotions during a turbulent childhood. She began writing notes and cards for the people she loved and admired when she was afraid to use her own voice. She journaled about life, and her opinions on people and events. Later she began writing poetry and health articles for a Canadian magazine as her interest was piqued by natural healthcare.
D.G. began reading extensively on the subject of natural health care after encountering quite a few serious health issues. Against many odds, Kaye has overcome adversity several times throughout her life.
Kaye looks for the good and the positive in everything and believes in paying it forward.
“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”
Her Favourite Saying: "Live. Laugh. Love …and don’t forget to breathe!" is her website logo, to remind herself and others that we often forget to take a pause.
You can find D.G. on social media and her author and blog pages:
www.dgkayewriter.com
www.goodreads.com/dgkaye
www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7
www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7
www.google.com/+DebbyDGKayeGies
www.twitter.com/@pokercubster
www.facebook.com/dgkaye
www.about.me/d.g.kaye.writer
Books: www.smarturl.it/bookconflictedhearts
www.smarturl.it/bookMenoWhatAMemoir
www.smarturl.it/bookwordswecarry
www.smarturl.it/bookHaveBags
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
April 24, 2020
Twenty Years: After "I Do" is an autobiographical non-fiction book about the author's experience with marriage and relationships. I've previously read another of her autobiographies about her relationship with her mother, and it was such an emotionally charged and well-written book, I decided to keep reading more from her every few months until I caught up on all her works.
In this one, Debby tells us what happened almost twenty years ago when she debated whether to marry the man who is now her husband. Given he was twenty years older, she had a lot of decisions to consider when it came to how her life would change. At the core of this book, and her approach to life, is her commitment and honesty in all that she achieves. Debby knew... if she married him, she would have to accept all that came with it in the future. From there, she dives into key aspects of married life: emotions, sex life, personal time, separation of couple and individual, fighting, decision-making, and death. Lessons we all need to consider.
Debby's writing style is simply fantastic. It's easy to devour in a short sitting, but it always makes you feel like part of her life. She openly shares so much (the good, the bad, and the ugly) while holding back in all the appropriate areas to allow for proper balance, e.g. we learn about the impacts to her sex life when one partner is ill but she doesn't go into the details. She tells us how she and her husband tackled the issues from a day-to-day perspective and moved on... because they loved one another (to the moon and back).
There is a refreshing honesty and truth in her words, and readers will quickly find themselves a path to compare their own lives to that of the author's. What have I done well? What could I do better? What needs to change? Excellent questions to consider, but Debby doesn't directly tell us to do this--her actions show us why this is at the core of a good marriage. I'm thrilled I had the chance to read this one today. Although I've only been with my partner for 8 years, it's easy to track where things are and what we could do differently.
Debby bravely tells us her story, allowing us to interpret for ourselves what everything means, especially in this ever-changing world where people live longer and have access to more things but it's harder to get them. I highly recommend this book to nearly anyone in a relationship, or those who want to know how to handle one when they are. Debby shares a few secrets, some hints, and a few suggestions to consider. It's not just for newbies or long-term couples... there's a bit of everything for how to co-exist and still be who you are. Great work!
In this one, Debby tells us what happened almost twenty years ago when she debated whether to marry the man who is now her husband. Given he was twenty years older, she had a lot of decisions to consider when it came to how her life would change. At the core of this book, and her approach to life, is her commitment and honesty in all that she achieves. Debby knew... if she married him, she would have to accept all that came with it in the future. From there, she dives into key aspects of married life: emotions, sex life, personal time, separation of couple and individual, fighting, decision-making, and death. Lessons we all need to consider.
Debby's writing style is simply fantastic. It's easy to devour in a short sitting, but it always makes you feel like part of her life. She openly shares so much (the good, the bad, and the ugly) while holding back in all the appropriate areas to allow for proper balance, e.g. we learn about the impacts to her sex life when one partner is ill but she doesn't go into the details. She tells us how she and her husband tackled the issues from a day-to-day perspective and moved on... because they loved one another (to the moon and back).
There is a refreshing honesty and truth in her words, and readers will quickly find themselves a path to compare their own lives to that of the author's. What have I done well? What could I do better? What needs to change? Excellent questions to consider, but Debby doesn't directly tell us to do this--her actions show us why this is at the core of a good marriage. I'm thrilled I had the chance to read this one today. Although I've only been with my partner for 8 years, it's easy to track where things are and what we could do differently.
Debby bravely tells us her story, allowing us to interpret for ourselves what everything means, especially in this ever-changing world where people live longer and have access to more things but it's harder to get them. I highly recommend this book to nearly anyone in a relationship, or those who want to know how to handle one when they are. Debby shares a few secrets, some hints, and a few suggestions to consider. It's not just for newbies or long-term couples... there's a bit of everything for how to co-exist and still be who you are. Great work!
August 6, 2018
"Twenty Years: After "I Do" shows not only newly married couples but also those in the middle of their lives how to navigate companionship challenges and show love and kindness to their partners, handling life together gracefully and in harmony.
Multibook self-help author D.G. Kaye demonstrates, using examples from her own marriage, how to really commit to a relationship - till death do us part."
Multibook self-help author D.G. Kaye demonstrates, using examples from her own marriage, how to really commit to a relationship - till death do us part."
November 16, 2019
This book is a memoir. I do not often read memoir, but after reading this one, I really think I should read more of them.
The author married a man who is twenty years her senior. At the time of their marriage, she did reflect on what could or would happen in the future as the relentless march of time took its toll, but she loved Gordon so much that she decided to grab the happiness and job life was offering her.
I found this book particularly interesting because my mother is ten years older than my father. My mother has always been "young" for her age and my father a bit "older" for his. They are now 80 and 70, respectively, and it has been interesting to watch the changes to their relationship and lifestyle. Ten years is half of twenty years, so such a big age gap does seem rather overwhelming to me and I was curious as to how the couple managed their life together now that they were both older. It turns out that they manage very well indeed, and I found this memoir uplifting and even inspiring.
The author addresses all sorts of aspects of married life, many of which are relevant in any marriage, regardless of the age of the spouses. I learned a lot from her thoughts and ideas, in particular, the idea of counting to ten before speaking in rage and never saying anything deliberately spiteful or hurtful. I have heard this message before, but never understood it quite like this. I am going to take this lesson learned forward in my life especially in my relationship with my one son, who is so like me we often fight like cat and dog.
The information covered in this book about living with a senior and travelling with a senior is useful to anyone who spends time and travels with parents so it is all very relevant and useful. I is also interesting to note how the author manages medications and illness with her senior husband.
This is a great book with numerous important messages that can be enjoyed and appreciated by people of all age groups looking to gain the best from life and relationships.
The author married a man who is twenty years her senior. At the time of their marriage, she did reflect on what could or would happen in the future as the relentless march of time took its toll, but she loved Gordon so much that she decided to grab the happiness and job life was offering her.
I found this book particularly interesting because my mother is ten years older than my father. My mother has always been "young" for her age and my father a bit "older" for his. They are now 80 and 70, respectively, and it has been interesting to watch the changes to their relationship and lifestyle. Ten years is half of twenty years, so such a big age gap does seem rather overwhelming to me and I was curious as to how the couple managed their life together now that they were both older. It turns out that they manage very well indeed, and I found this memoir uplifting and even inspiring.
The author addresses all sorts of aspects of married life, many of which are relevant in any marriage, regardless of the age of the spouses. I learned a lot from her thoughts and ideas, in particular, the idea of counting to ten before speaking in rage and never saying anything deliberately spiteful or hurtful. I have heard this message before, but never understood it quite like this. I am going to take this lesson learned forward in my life especially in my relationship with my one son, who is so like me we often fight like cat and dog.
The information covered in this book about living with a senior and travelling with a senior is useful to anyone who spends time and travels with parents so it is all very relevant and useful. I is also interesting to note how the author manages medications and illness with her senior husband.
This is a great book with numerous important messages that can be enjoyed and appreciated by people of all age groups looking to gain the best from life and relationships.
August 16, 2018
Canadian author, D. G. Kaye has written a heartwarming memoir in "Twenty Years After I Do," detailing the ups and downs of marriage to an older man. I was eager to read this book because I am married to a man who is older than me by a decade. I wasn't sure what I'd find, but having read other books by this author, I knew I was in for a treat.
Kaye shares how she met her husband, Gordon, chronicling how he swept her off her feet with his captivating personality, and how he made her laugh. With a sense of intimacy, the writing draws you in, as if you are listening to a good friend. Their connection, a true love story, (so rare these days) was a joy to experience through her words.
This book is a memoir in the real sense of the word, where the author details her relationship with her husband based on her knowledge of his battle with prostate cancer. As time trudges along, and more health issues crop up, this couple finds themselves confronting their mortality head-on. Most people would crumble under the stress of these burdens, but not Kaye. Because of the love that she and Gordon share they discover that they can overcome whatever life throws at them.
What I enjoyed was Kaye's willingness to share the innermost details of her life experiences so others could learn from her example. There was no glossing over here, and she does tell it like it is. Ultimately, she leads the reader to the conclusion that love and humor conquer all. I've taken many of her insights and tucked them away for future reference.
A quick read, "Twenty Years After I Do," will touch you with warmth and sincerity, as the phrase "...till death do us part..." takes on new meaning.
MY RATING:
Character Believability: 5
Flow and Pace: 5
Reader Engagement: 5
Reader Enrichment: 5
Reader Enjoyment: 5
Overall Rate: 5 out of 5 Stars
Kaye shares how she met her husband, Gordon, chronicling how he swept her off her feet with his captivating personality, and how he made her laugh. With a sense of intimacy, the writing draws you in, as if you are listening to a good friend. Their connection, a true love story, (so rare these days) was a joy to experience through her words.
This book is a memoir in the real sense of the word, where the author details her relationship with her husband based on her knowledge of his battle with prostate cancer. As time trudges along, and more health issues crop up, this couple finds themselves confronting their mortality head-on. Most people would crumble under the stress of these burdens, but not Kaye. Because of the love that she and Gordon share they discover that they can overcome whatever life throws at them.
What I enjoyed was Kaye's willingness to share the innermost details of her life experiences so others could learn from her example. There was no glossing over here, and she does tell it like it is. Ultimately, she leads the reader to the conclusion that love and humor conquer all. I've taken many of her insights and tucked them away for future reference.
A quick read, "Twenty Years After I Do," will touch you with warmth and sincerity, as the phrase "...till death do us part..." takes on new meaning.
MY RATING:
Character Believability: 5
Flow and Pace: 5
Reader Engagement: 5
Reader Enrichment: 5
Reader Enjoyment: 5
Overall Rate: 5 out of 5 Stars
August 8, 2018
In TWENTY YEARS: AFTER “I DO” the author talks about some authentic problems one encounters when the love of their life experiences health issues of advancing age. In her instance there is an age gap of nearly 20 years, but none-the-less, the difficulties of illness of either partner, the marriage with not only a new partner, but with the partner’s family, and a plethora of other concerns are easily faced by a couple of any age and at any stage of their marriage if love and laughter are part of that union.. I’ve always believed that true love conquers all, and D.G. Kaye confirmed that belief with candor and wit in her book as she talks about the trials and tribulations of her own marriage.
To say that I am a huge fan of D. G. Kaye is an understatement. I love her style of writing, her honesty in telling it like it is, and her never-ending sense of humor. If you haven’t read any of her books, just peruse all the titles and find one or more you can relate to. The author writes in a way that you can easily slip into her identity and find yourself present in a real-life situation that may be similar to your own. You will laugh along with her, sympathize with her, and possibly learn something about life and your own situation.
TWENTY YEARS: AFTER “I DO” is highly deserving of 5 stars.
To say that I am a huge fan of D. G. Kaye is an understatement. I love her style of writing, her honesty in telling it like it is, and her never-ending sense of humor. If you haven’t read any of her books, just peruse all the titles and find one or more you can relate to. The author writes in a way that you can easily slip into her identity and find yourself present in a real-life situation that may be similar to your own. You will laugh along with her, sympathize with her, and possibly learn something about life and your own situation.
TWENTY YEARS: AFTER “I DO” is highly deserving of 5 stars.
December 22, 2017
D.G Kaye bares her innermost thoughts and feelings after 20 years of marriage to her soul mate Gordon, a man 20 years her senior. Gordon is suffering the effects of ageing and the aftermath of prostate cancer treatment.
The author writes with some candour in this short but informative self-help/memoir of several mindfulness strategies she employs to keep her marriage as fresh as the day she said "I do". These strategies can be used by any couple regardless of their ages, and indeed I aim to take a leaf out of this book to aid my own 37 year marriage!
It is a treat to read of the author's successful marriage, despite her initial doubts (due to Gordon's age) at the start of the relationship plus many hardships and health scares of both parties along the way. D.G Kaye and her husband laugh a lot, look after each other, and take heed of their marriage vows. Many younger couples could learn from this recommended 5 star read.
The author writes with some candour in this short but informative self-help/memoir of several mindfulness strategies she employs to keep her marriage as fresh as the day she said "I do". These strategies can be used by any couple regardless of their ages, and indeed I aim to take a leaf out of this book to aid my own 37 year marriage!
It is a treat to read of the author's successful marriage, despite her initial doubts (due to Gordon's age) at the start of the relationship plus many hardships and health scares of both parties along the way. D.G Kaye and her husband laugh a lot, look after each other, and take heed of their marriage vows. Many younger couples could learn from this recommended 5 star read.
August 20, 2019
A Memoir on Marriage and Unlimited Love.
D.G. Kaye beautifully chronicles twenty years of her marriage and along the way encapsulates the heart of unconditional love amid life's challenges. What I loved so much was her honest retelling of those years, both good and challenging. I found myself nodding again and again while I read as she honed into what the fundamental requirements were to maintain a healthy relationship. Respect, laughter, intimacy and patience are the cornerstones of a solid foundation that can withstand the trials of daily living. This is, or should be required reading for anyone in a relationship whether married or in a partnership. The author touched on so many issues that impact all relationships. This novel is a keeper and one I will return to over and over again. I extend a heartfelt thank you to the author for her candor and the gift to all of us for this remarkable book.
D.G. Kaye beautifully chronicles twenty years of her marriage and along the way encapsulates the heart of unconditional love amid life's challenges. What I loved so much was her honest retelling of those years, both good and challenging. I found myself nodding again and again while I read as she honed into what the fundamental requirements were to maintain a healthy relationship. Respect, laughter, intimacy and patience are the cornerstones of a solid foundation that can withstand the trials of daily living. This is, or should be required reading for anyone in a relationship whether married or in a partnership. The author touched on so many issues that impact all relationships. This novel is a keeper and one I will return to over and over again. I extend a heartfelt thank you to the author for her candor and the gift to all of us for this remarkable book.
July 28, 2018
Heartfelt sharing about some difficult challenges in marriage
Marrying a man many years her senior was an easy decision to make. Love was the key. Kate writes about how love, compassion, respect, and a healthy dose of humor sustains her marriage. The realities of one spouse aging far ahead of the other can be difficult to cope with. Let this story inspire you to make your own decisions about the question "should I say, 'I do?'" to your love partner no matter the age difference.
Marrying a man many years her senior was an easy decision to make. Love was the key. Kate writes about how love, compassion, respect, and a healthy dose of humor sustains her marriage. The realities of one spouse aging far ahead of the other can be difficult to cope with. Let this story inspire you to make your own decisions about the question "should I say, 'I do?'" to your love partner no matter the age difference.
January 19, 2020
A heart-warming memoir that made me smile a lot
We're nearly there, at 20 Years after "I Do", my husband and I.
I enjoyed this book tremendously. Kaye has a sharp sense oh humor, although it brought a tear or two in my eyes.
It takes courage and pride to put your marriage life on paper, a testimony that respect and communication are at the very foundation of any relationship.
Do not take tomorrow for granted, an advise I will gladly follow.
This is the first book I read by Kaye. I discovered an author with a deep understanding and respect for life, in all its aspects.
A poignant read, highly recommended for all ages, irrespective of where they find themselves in their relationship.
We're nearly there, at 20 Years after "I Do", my husband and I.
I enjoyed this book tremendously. Kaye has a sharp sense oh humor, although it brought a tear or two in my eyes.
It takes courage and pride to put your marriage life on paper, a testimony that respect and communication are at the very foundation of any relationship.
Do not take tomorrow for granted, an advise I will gladly follow.
This is the first book I read by Kaye. I discovered an author with a deep understanding and respect for life, in all its aspects.
A poignant read, highly recommended for all ages, irrespective of where they find themselves in their relationship.
May 20, 2018
Twenty Years: After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye highlights the fact that love can conquer all…only if you understand what is real love. Love is not just passion for each other, laughing or going out together. It is also listening intently, it is being emotionally present in those conversations, it is cleaning the mess of your partner who may get sick just after you marry her. Kaye has shared her personal story of marrying Gordon, who is twenty years older than her but age didn’t deter her from her decision of marrying a man whom she loved. Despite the challenges, love strengthened their relationship in the face of storms of life, taking care of each other in all situations.
This book may be based on the personal experiences of Kaye but it makes an in-depth analysis of marriage, which is not just a commitment that brings blissful joy in the lives of a couple while they are healthy and energetic but also demands care, unconditional love, respect and trust that the partner has to give spontaneously.
In a successful marriage, romantic love morphs into a loving and eternal relationship if we understand that forbearance and patience are as essential as passion and sex. A spouse who can’t pick up your luggage from the carousel or who needs a wheel chair at the airport to board a flight just after 20 years of marriage just needs your smile and support.
Conflicts are natural in a marriage but Kaye illustrates with real situations how she copes with them, giving a message that one has to devise one’s own ways to resolve them. Any married person can feel the connect with the thoughts of D.G. but if you are at the threshold of this new phase of life, you could collect some pearls of wisdom from the experiences that she shares in this book. The last two chapters of the book are heart-wrenching and left me wondering how could mortality be discussed in so many words. Kudos to Kaye for her bravery!
This book may be based on the personal experiences of Kaye but it makes an in-depth analysis of marriage, which is not just a commitment that brings blissful joy in the lives of a couple while they are healthy and energetic but also demands care, unconditional love, respect and trust that the partner has to give spontaneously.
In a successful marriage, romantic love morphs into a loving and eternal relationship if we understand that forbearance and patience are as essential as passion and sex. A spouse who can’t pick up your luggage from the carousel or who needs a wheel chair at the airport to board a flight just after 20 years of marriage just needs your smile and support.
Conflicts are natural in a marriage but Kaye illustrates with real situations how she copes with them, giving a message that one has to devise one’s own ways to resolve them. Any married person can feel the connect with the thoughts of D.G. but if you are at the threshold of this new phase of life, you could collect some pearls of wisdom from the experiences that she shares in this book. The last two chapters of the book are heart-wrenching and left me wondering how could mortality be discussed in so many words. Kudos to Kaye for her bravery!
May 12, 2018
The emphasis on partnership is present throughout D.G. Kaye’s story of her 20 year marriage to Gordon. Whilst it is clear, that theirs was a wonderful love affair from the beginning, she does not flinch from describing the various aspects of their relationship in a very forthright and honest way.
Their relationship is a May/September love affair that was put to the test from very shortly after their marriage. Despite the nearly 20 years age difference, it was Kaye who suffered a near fatal medical emergency, which brought home the fact, it is not necessarily the older partner, who will be the first to suffer ill health.
The book does highlight that in a relationship where there is a significant age difference, issues arise that might not for a couple the same age. Having children for example, or the dynamics in a relationship after retirement and natural aging; reversing the traditional roles, as one becomes more dependent on the other.
D.G. Kaye allows us an intimate view into her marriage, encouraging us to look at our own relationships, appreciate how they have triumphed over challenges over the years, and to celebrate the love that endures.
I certainly recommend the book for those who are about to embark on a relationship, whatever the age difference. In this modern day and age, when the pressures on couples and families are ever present, it is very useful to be offered the experience and guidance from someone who has successfully navigated their way through those same obstacles.
Their relationship is a May/September love affair that was put to the test from very shortly after their marriage. Despite the nearly 20 years age difference, it was Kaye who suffered a near fatal medical emergency, which brought home the fact, it is not necessarily the older partner, who will be the first to suffer ill health.
The book does highlight that in a relationship where there is a significant age difference, issues arise that might not for a couple the same age. Having children for example, or the dynamics in a relationship after retirement and natural aging; reversing the traditional roles, as one becomes more dependent on the other.
D.G. Kaye allows us an intimate view into her marriage, encouraging us to look at our own relationships, appreciate how they have triumphed over challenges over the years, and to celebrate the love that endures.
I certainly recommend the book for those who are about to embark on a relationship, whatever the age difference. In this modern day and age, when the pressures on couples and families are ever present, it is very useful to be offered the experience and guidance from someone who has successfully navigated their way through those same obstacles.
August 28, 2018
A Loving Reflection of Twenty Years of Marriage!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, Twenty Years: After “I Do”. It was a heartfelt journey through the author’s life with her devoted and loving husband who is much older than she. I laughed along with her and shed tears of sorrow when she did.
D.G. Kaye expressed herself in endearing terms when she spoke of her husband and their wonderful life together. She wrote with deep expressions of angst over serious health issues they both experienced and then joy over happy times with much shared laughter.
Marriage is a difficult union as anyone who has been married knows. This book takes the reader down this path to discover the true meaning of soul mates and undying love from one another. D.G. shares the beauty of each day that she and her husband, Gordon, have had together and continue to have even in adversity. She displays a remarkable wit in tough times and a brilliant resilience to go on no matter what she must face.
This book is a must read for all who have been married whether for a short time or a longer time. All couples face similar situations and must make tough decisions in their lives together. The author has shown how she has had to deal with serious health issues and come out stronger and more persistent to make the best of every day she and her husband have left together. For isn’t that part of our marriage vows - to love each other in sickness and health till death do us part?
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, Twenty Years: After “I Do”. It was a heartfelt journey through the author’s life with her devoted and loving husband who is much older than she. I laughed along with her and shed tears of sorrow when she did.
D.G. Kaye expressed herself in endearing terms when she spoke of her husband and their wonderful life together. She wrote with deep expressions of angst over serious health issues they both experienced and then joy over happy times with much shared laughter.
Marriage is a difficult union as anyone who has been married knows. This book takes the reader down this path to discover the true meaning of soul mates and undying love from one another. D.G. shares the beauty of each day that she and her husband, Gordon, have had together and continue to have even in adversity. She displays a remarkable wit in tough times and a brilliant resilience to go on no matter what she must face.
This book is a must read for all who have been married whether for a short time or a longer time. All couples face similar situations and must make tough decisions in their lives together. The author has shown how she has had to deal with serious health issues and come out stronger and more persistent to make the best of every day she and her husband have left together. For isn’t that part of our marriage vows - to love each other in sickness and health till death do us part?
August 26, 2018
Twenty years after her vows, author D. G. Kaye, looks back at the lessons learned about love, commitment, and aging. Kaye married a man twenty years her senior, already 58 at the time, and asked him for twenty years (at least) – thus the title of the book.
In a way, this memoir is a tribute to the man she dearly loves, a fact that comes through loud and clear. But it’s also about her journey as a partner, about the hurdles, insights, and growth long the way.
“In sickness and in health” is a major theme as bodies bend to the inevitable challenges of aging. Kaye shares her emotions and thoughts regarding her husband’s illnesses, but also some wisdom about preventative care, advocacy, and the adjustments needed to continue living a full life.
This is a poignant read to be sure, but full of practical advice too about laughter, travel, sex, communication, and preparation for the end of life. Most of all, it’s a memoir about love. An evening’s read and highly recommended.
In a way, this memoir is a tribute to the man she dearly loves, a fact that comes through loud and clear. But it’s also about her journey as a partner, about the hurdles, insights, and growth long the way.
“In sickness and in health” is a major theme as bodies bend to the inevitable challenges of aging. Kaye shares her emotions and thoughts regarding her husband’s illnesses, but also some wisdom about preventative care, advocacy, and the adjustments needed to continue living a full life.
This is a poignant read to be sure, but full of practical advice too about laughter, travel, sex, communication, and preparation for the end of life. Most of all, it’s a memoir about love. An evening’s read and highly recommended.
January 21, 2018
“Twenty Years After I Do” is a love story, all the more compelling because it is true. Kaye shines a light under the table, exposing those things many of us prefer to keep out of sight. For all of the unpleasant topics in the book, this is not a depressing journey. She doesn’t say that love concours all, but she shows us, through her own life, that it so often does. More accurately, she explains that love will help us face whatever outcome life gives us.
The author is one of the decreasing number of people who understand that marriage is “til death do us part.” Staying together is not optional, it’s not a choice to be made. That choice was made with the speaking of the words, “I Do.” She shows us that love and humor are tools we can use to overcome obstacles we would have thought unsurmountable.
This is a good read. Reading it has made me feel like I’ve made a friend.
The author is one of the decreasing number of people who understand that marriage is “til death do us part.” Staying together is not optional, it’s not a choice to be made. That choice was made with the speaking of the words, “I Do.” She shows us that love and humor are tools we can use to overcome obstacles we would have thought unsurmountable.
This is a good read. Reading it has made me feel like I’ve made a friend.
July 24, 2018
Sound advice from a well-known and respected author for those considering marriage in those circumstances, or even for people considering marriage. Or married. :) Solid 4 1/2 stars.
February 20, 2024
I am always enthusiastic about reading a book by D.G. Kaye. I have read all of her books so far and have enjoyed them all. Her sixth book Twenty Years: After I Do doesn’t disappoint. In fact, it’s probably her best, which is normal I guess. We do tend to get better with practice.
Although Twenty Years: After I Do focuses on growing old with a partner who is much older than herself, D.G. Kaye’s message is ageless as she tackles the issues of health, finance, mortality and children with clarity, authenticity and her usual grace.
D.G. Kaye is known for her ability to tell it like it is. There’s no sugar coating here although there is a lot of tenderness, affection, kind heartedness and insight drawn from her life experiences. In fact this is D.G. Kaye’s trademark – using her life experiences to help people.
Anyone who has followed her blog is surely aware of D.G. Kaye’s generosity in sharing her knowledge. Much of her blog is about that and this munificence is evident throughout this book.
The book is an easy and enjoyable read. But make no mistake; it is by no means frivolous or meaningless. The book is filled with insights regarding the author’s reflections on keeping the flames of a relationship alive.
Sure, it’s not always easy, as she points out. Her and her husband do have disagreements, as all couples do, but their commitment to each other in sickness and in health, till death do us part and even after is a model for anyone to follow.
One last thing, Gordon (Puppy) her husband is a lucky guy to have such a loving wife.
Although Twenty Years: After I Do focuses on growing old with a partner who is much older than herself, D.G. Kaye’s message is ageless as she tackles the issues of health, finance, mortality and children with clarity, authenticity and her usual grace.
D.G. Kaye is known for her ability to tell it like it is. There’s no sugar coating here although there is a lot of tenderness, affection, kind heartedness and insight drawn from her life experiences. In fact this is D.G. Kaye’s trademark – using her life experiences to help people.
Anyone who has followed her blog is surely aware of D.G. Kaye’s generosity in sharing her knowledge. Much of her blog is about that and this munificence is evident throughout this book.
The book is an easy and enjoyable read. But make no mistake; it is by no means frivolous or meaningless. The book is filled with insights regarding the author’s reflections on keeping the flames of a relationship alive.
Sure, it’s not always easy, as she points out. Her and her husband do have disagreements, as all couples do, but their commitment to each other in sickness and in health, till death do us part and even after is a model for anyone to follow.
One last thing, Gordon (Puppy) her husband is a lucky guy to have such a loving wife.
November 5, 2023
Words rang true
This book is a gem, a book that all couples planning to marry or already married should read. Personally, I found every word truthful. Why? My husband and I built our relationship on a strong foundation of friendship first, then love came along. Kaye writes about making sure the foundation your relationship is built is secure, secure enough to withstand anything, and everything thrown at it so the foundation doesn't form a crevice. Part of a piece of mortar can fall off, but be right there and prepare it ASAP. Those couples who have a great foundation can weather any and all storms tossed at them. There will be many storms amid times of splendor, and if your foundation is strong, you will survive each and come out stronger and more in love than you thought possible. I know. I have this in my life. Without that strong foundation, we wouldn't have made it, or if we did make it, the hard times would have been much worse. Both my husband and I've had desperate life-threatening issues, and each time, our love grew stronger. Even if you don't think you can love a person more, that your heart already overflows, we find out how much more we love each other. Five stars.
This book is a gem, a book that all couples planning to marry or already married should read. Personally, I found every word truthful. Why? My husband and I built our relationship on a strong foundation of friendship first, then love came along. Kaye writes about making sure the foundation your relationship is built is secure, secure enough to withstand anything, and everything thrown at it so the foundation doesn't form a crevice. Part of a piece of mortar can fall off, but be right there and prepare it ASAP. Those couples who have a great foundation can weather any and all storms tossed at them. There will be many storms amid times of splendor, and if your foundation is strong, you will survive each and come out stronger and more in love than you thought possible. I know. I have this in my life. Without that strong foundation, we wouldn't have made it, or if we did make it, the hard times would have been much worse. Both my husband and I've had desperate life-threatening issues, and each time, our love grew stronger. Even if you don't think you can love a person more, that your heart already overflows, we find out how much more we love each other. Five stars.
February 6, 2020
Honest. Heartfelt. Compelling. D.G. Kaye’s memorable memoir is a must-read!
Falling in love wasn’t in her plans. Falling in love with an older man changed her life.
What happens when you meet your other half in the twilight of his life? The author walks us through the thrill of falling in love, the reality of living with health issues, and the responsibility of becoming your husband’s caregiver.
Love is the bond that transcends and it’s proven with this couple as they travel life’s joys and obstacles with grace and laughter.
Over the last few years, I’ve become my mom’s caregiver and could relate to many of the issues broached in this book. Doctor and specialist appointments, nagging over proper nutrition requirements, cleaning and laundry for two homes, wheelchair operations, and over it all, the fear that you aren’t doing enough to keep them with you for a few more years.
I won’t lie- it scares me every day.
Thank you to the author for her honesty. It helps to know we aren’t alone, whatever our individual situations.
I give Twenty Years After “I Do” 5 lovely kisses- An Inspirational Read!
Falling in love wasn’t in her plans. Falling in love with an older man changed her life.
What happens when you meet your other half in the twilight of his life? The author walks us through the thrill of falling in love, the reality of living with health issues, and the responsibility of becoming your husband’s caregiver.
Love is the bond that transcends and it’s proven with this couple as they travel life’s joys and obstacles with grace and laughter.
Over the last few years, I’ve become my mom’s caregiver and could relate to many of the issues broached in this book. Doctor and specialist appointments, nagging over proper nutrition requirements, cleaning and laundry for two homes, wheelchair operations, and over it all, the fear that you aren’t doing enough to keep them with you for a few more years.
I won’t lie- it scares me every day.
Thank you to the author for her honesty. It helps to know we aren’t alone, whatever our individual situations.
I give Twenty Years After “I Do” 5 lovely kisses- An Inspirational Read!
November 4, 2022
Twenty Years: After "I Do" is a memoir by D.G. Kaye regarding her 20-year marriage to Gordon, a kind man 20 years her senior. While I believe the author wrote this book for people in a similar situation that have a spouse considerably older or younger, I think it is an essential read for any married couple.
Having read previous books by this writer, I knew I would get honesty and humor—two elements that make any read better. Kaye doesn't try to sugarcoat anything and describes the many challenges married partners face, particularly in her situation, having a much older husband.
Some priceless nuggets included the importance of a sense of humor, communicating about and listening to each other's problems, giving each additional space to follow individual hobbies and passions, and being flexible enough to take on different roles over the years.
I liked that there were so many relatable topics—health challenges, hearing loss, and depression, to name a few.
Having read previous books by this writer, I knew I would get honesty and humor—two elements that make any read better. Kaye doesn't try to sugarcoat anything and describes the many challenges married partners face, particularly in her situation, having a much older husband.
Some priceless nuggets included the importance of a sense of humor, communicating about and listening to each other's problems, giving each additional space to follow individual hobbies and passions, and being flexible enough to take on different roles over the years.
I liked that there were so many relatable topics—health challenges, hearing loss, and depression, to name a few.
January 31, 2025
Heartwarming and enriching
Like other books by this wonderful author I’ve read, this one is in the same league: they all are inspirational. Like a loving mother, she subtly shares her experience of how to keep the flame of love and respect through years of marriage. In her story, I love how she resolves constantly emerging difficult situations through understanding and mutual respect (such as the “I don’t need a hearing aid…” situation and others). She doesn’t say it’s easy, (in the author’s words it is “ongoing work in progress”) but it is possible if both spouses are serious about the pledge, “till death do us part.” I totally trust the author: it was her life, her own experience, her own life lessons, which she generously shares with us, her readers. This reader took important knowledge from this short but precious book, and I heartily recommend it.
Like other books by this wonderful author I’ve read, this one is in the same league: they all are inspirational. Like a loving mother, she subtly shares her experience of how to keep the flame of love and respect through years of marriage. In her story, I love how she resolves constantly emerging difficult situations through understanding and mutual respect (such as the “I don’t need a hearing aid…” situation and others). She doesn’t say it’s easy, (in the author’s words it is “ongoing work in progress”) but it is possible if both spouses are serious about the pledge, “till death do us part.” I totally trust the author: it was her life, her own experience, her own life lessons, which she generously shares with us, her readers. This reader took important knowledge from this short but precious book, and I heartily recommend it.
October 3, 2025
D.G. Kaye points out some authentic problems in Twenty Years: After “I Do" that you are going to encounter when your husband reaches his 60s or 70s. Many people jump into marriages in their later years. They will face these problems more quickly than younger people. Some examples of problems married couples might face are:
What happens when or if wee willy wimps?
How do you talk about death, burial, wills?
Does your partner have grown children? They certainly play more of a part in your relationship than you might expect since they are out of the home.
What happens when one or both of you suffer a life-threatening illness? Do you know how to navigate hospitals and doctors?
Of course, you love your husband, but what if he can’t hear very well anymore? Worse, neither of you have perfect hearing.
What if you’re childless going into the marriage? Do you consider having children when he’s 60 or 70?
What if you don’t have children to help care for you in your old age?
Is there a right way to fight with the one you love so that you both win and you don’t end up hating each other? Deb shares some insight into how to do it kindly.
Does this sound like a book you might enjoy? Maybe you just want some light reading, chisme, gossip about someone else’s life. That’s ok too, because if you’ve read any of Deb’s other books, you’ve probably fallen in love with her, and you can’t wait to hear the next installment of her life. She writes in that conspiring, secret-telling, phone-call style that you would use with your best friend. The difference is she’s gossiping about herself and, in this case, her late husband, before he passed.
What happens when or if wee willy wimps?
How do you talk about death, burial, wills?
Does your partner have grown children? They certainly play more of a part in your relationship than you might expect since they are out of the home.
What happens when one or both of you suffer a life-threatening illness? Do you know how to navigate hospitals and doctors?
Of course, you love your husband, but what if he can’t hear very well anymore? Worse, neither of you have perfect hearing.
What if you’re childless going into the marriage? Do you consider having children when he’s 60 or 70?
What if you don’t have children to help care for you in your old age?
Is there a right way to fight with the one you love so that you both win and you don’t end up hating each other? Deb shares some insight into how to do it kindly.
Does this sound like a book you might enjoy? Maybe you just want some light reading, chisme, gossip about someone else’s life. That’s ok too, because if you’ve read any of Deb’s other books, you’ve probably fallen in love with her, and you can’t wait to hear the next installment of her life. She writes in that conspiring, secret-telling, phone-call style that you would use with your best friend. The difference is she’s gossiping about herself and, in this case, her late husband, before he passed.
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