What do you think?
Rate this book
Confessions of an Average Boy
Alexander Turner just burned down his high school, but he’d be the first to tell you that he’s actually a really nice guy. Arson’s okay when you’re doing it for love, right? See, there’s this amazing girl named April, but she’s dating this rich jerk named Chet, which is ridiculous because Alex and April had a ton of fun ruining their school’s Late October Costume Dance and sneaking into a hipster bar and doing everything else pop culture taught Alex that boys should do to win over girls. But Chet’s part of a yacht club and drives a BMW, and how’s an everyday, down-to-Earth guy supposed to compete with that?
So he committed a felony, obviously. Okay, there was a little more to it than that—his heart was broken, his fellow students made him an outcast just because he happened to completely ruin a couple parties, and his friends were being total jerks for what he swears is no good reason. But seriously, he’s just a regular dude, as his own confession will happily explain to you. I mean, what other possibilities are there? That he actually doesn’t have a clue how to treat girls properly? That his entire story is a downward, self-destructive spiral of someone entranced and misled by the toxic modern attitudes towards love that young guys are taught? That Alex and April aren’t star-crossed lovers, and that he’s just a dumb, self-centred teenager who’s fumbling his way through misguided attempts to get in her pants? Of course not. He’s just an average boy.
So he committed a felony, obviously. Okay, there was a little more to it than that—his heart was broken, his fellow students made him an outcast just because he happened to completely ruin a couple parties, and his friends were being total jerks for what he swears is no good reason. But seriously, he’s just a regular dude, as his own confession will happily explain to you. I mean, what other possibilities are there? That he actually doesn’t have a clue how to treat girls properly? That his entire story is a downward, self-destructive spiral of someone entranced and misled by the toxic modern attitudes towards love that young guys are taught? That Alex and April aren’t star-crossed lovers, and that he’s just a dumb, self-centred teenager who’s fumbling his way through misguided attempts to get in her pants? Of course not. He’s just an average boy.
229 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 1, 2017
8 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
November 24, 2021
As far as plot goes, it’s somewhat thin. But then, so is the adolescence that it takes place during. Boy likes girl, boy loves girl, girl dates other boy, friends of boy try to dissuade him from girl, boy gets creepy/ infatuated with girl while still friends, boy…torches school…?
Ok, maybe it’s not so thin after all. (That’s not a spoiler, by the way— you learn of the protagonist’s crime in the first couple pages.)
Hill’s real skill is in his style and characterizations. The kids he writes about are hilarious. The narration made me laugh. It’s sophomoric wit, but when the characters are barely out of sophomore year, that’s exactly what’s called for.
If Jay Pinkerton and Robert Bevan got really high and figured out how to reproduce, they’d give birth to a child disgusted enough with the two of them to hook up with a social deviant in the neighborhood, who would turn out to be very much like Mark Hill.
More novels please, Mr Hill.
Ok, maybe it’s not so thin after all. (That’s not a spoiler, by the way— you learn of the protagonist’s crime in the first couple pages.)
Hill’s real skill is in his style and characterizations. The kids he writes about are hilarious. The narration made me laugh. It’s sophomoric wit, but when the characters are barely out of sophomore year, that’s exactly what’s called for.
If Jay Pinkerton and Robert Bevan got really high and figured out how to reproduce, they’d give birth to a child disgusted enough with the two of them to hook up with a social deviant in the neighborhood, who would turn out to be very much like Mark Hill.
More novels please, Mr Hill.
May 27, 2019
Funny, original, good hearted
Liked this a lot, it hit the notes on a few teenage boy years and was well constructed and funny. Thanks!
Liked this a lot, it hit the notes on a few teenage boy years and was well constructed and funny. Thanks!
August 23, 2019
I read this on a plane. It was fun, light but a little didactic. I don't hold that against this book but perhaps I think the target audience will.
Mark Hill is a columnist for the humor website Cracked and he uses his comedy skills to tell this story about a young man who wants a girl who is not into him. I wanted the main character to learn his lesson earlier than he did but I am not here to rewrite the story.
If you know a young man, who is into comedy writing and maybe struggles with women, this is the book for him. Otherwise, I can't recommend it much past...it was a decent airplane read.
Mark Hill is a columnist for the humor website Cracked and he uses his comedy skills to tell this story about a young man who wants a girl who is not into him. I wanted the main character to learn his lesson earlier than he did but I am not here to rewrite the story.
If you know a young man, who is into comedy writing and maybe struggles with women, this is the book for him. Otherwise, I can't recommend it much past...it was a decent airplane read.
December 19, 2017
I really liked the idea and moral of this book, and it was pretty funny most of the time, but the main character was too annoying - I had a hard time believing that HE considered himself a “nice guy,” at any point, epiphany or no. But anyway, it was a fun, easy read.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews