Dating

Choose Your Own Misery #3

by Mike MacDonald, Jilly Gagnon

From The Onion alum writers Mike MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon comes a hilarious choose-your-own-path story to that will save you hours of suffering on Tinder.

The only thing worse than getting back on the dating horse? The brutal loneliness of perpetual singledom.

That's why you're putting in the effort to find your soulmate…or at least someone to warm your bed for a night. Playing as one of two characters, you get to choose just how bad your dating life gets. Will you head to a high school party or hitch your wagon to a Steve Urkel impersonator? Dabble in the painfully shallow depths of sexualizing your arm wound, or up the intensity of your first date by entering an underground fight club? Try to relive the romance of Harold and Maude , but with more roofies and an ominous burial plot in Maude's backyard?

From the writers who brought you the hilarious parodies Choose Your Own The Office and Choose Your Own The Holidays comes the oldest form of misery in the the self-prostitution that is dating.

"Oh, how I laughed at this droll little book. Then, slowly but irreversibly, it filled me up with dread." ―Jesse Andrews, New York Times bestselling author of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Genres: Romance, Choose Your Own Adventure, Humor, Fiction, Gamebooks, Comedy

390 pages, Paperback

Published May 29, 2018

Reviews

[Vonia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Choose Your Own Misery: Dating
by Jilly Gagnon and Mike MacDonald
Read: 5/1/19
Rating: 1.5/5

Choose whichever sleazy or vulgar scenario you want- from bad to worse to worst!
Your chance to escape your mundane life for a few hours, but can these writers from “The Onion” offer anything more preferable?
Own your choices- as in the original series from your childhood, you decide how the story goes.
Misery, unfortunately, seems to be your only choice- where are the good endings you so fondly recall?
Dating can be depressing, discouraging, dismal, disappointing, and distressing, as this book unashamedly and unhesitatingly accentuates!

#SpinePoem #PoemReview #Gamebook #Nonlinear #NoveltyBook #Romance

[Kirsty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I played this through 6 times, and each time the story was funny, unpredictable and thoroughly grim. Great fun all round.

[Heidi Lynn’s BookReviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, I would like to thank Mike MacDonald, Jilly Gagnon, Diversion Books, and NetGalley for providing me with this book so I may bring you this review.

Choose Your Own Misery: Dating by Mike MacDonald & Jilly Gagnon is a MUST READ for any single ladies or men out there!! This book had me rolling on the floor laughing hysterically at most of the book! I loved how the author pokes fun of Tinder, Speed Dating, Online Dating, etc. I have been there and done that and felt their pain. However, their dates and experiences blew mine right out of the water!

I loved how the readers got both the male and the female perspective on dating. Glad to know that guys have it just as hard as girls do.

This book is full of stories of finding dates, interesting choices one chooses to make their profile picture, and their experiences on their dates. It is one book that will have you smiling, laughing, totally shocked, and feeling totally bad for that person on the date.

I will admit my ultimate favorite story in the whole book was about Ryder Strong from Boy Meets World whom I am a huge fan of. That story totally cracked me up and had me smiling ear to ear. Made me wonder if that really happened to the author or if she made it up. If it really happened to her high five to her. But, I was shaking my head at Rider at the end of the story!

[Bunny · Rating 4 out of 5]

The person you never realized was perfect for you going to greater and greater lengths to make you theirs? Getting catfished is just a new name for everyone's favorite love story.

Of all the Choose Your Own Misery books, this has been my least favorite. That being said, please note that I laughed my fool head off at the first two, and cannot recommend enough picking them up, for a bit of nostalgia, a lot of cringing, and buckets of cackling.

And this one provided all three of those, though the cringing came by the metric ton. As expected, I suppose.

The book veers off, one for men seeking women and the other women seeking men. No LGBT love here, but before you get offended, please note that you reaaaaaaaally don't want to partake in the world of dating with this lot.

There's a little something to offend everyone here, though some are a touch more O_O than others. We cover the spectrum, from Inbreeding (don't make the first move, at least while ovulating), casualties of shaving (not your face), speed dating, match making. We date older, we date younger.

And boy, oh boy, do we hit every single kink I could possibly pull up from my work place memory. One in particular I am entirely too familiar with nearly had me on the ground crying with laughter.

The gross out factor was a bit much for me, which is why I don't love it as much as the first two. That is not a discouragement, though. There is absolutely a market for this book. I'd like to give one to every Tinder user active today.

Also, I REALLY want a shirt that says, "C: DOS, C:DOS/RUN, RUN DOS, RUN". Now, please.

Received via Netgalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review

[Caffeinated Fae · Rating 4 out of 5]

When you first start this book, listen to the warning. This book is sure to leave you entertained, depressed, scared, scarred and slightly relieved that you have gone so far in your life without knowing that "wound sex" is a thing. Choose Your Own Misery: Dating was hilarious! I couldn't put it down and all of the adventures were funny, scary, or downright disturbing. I loved that you could play as a man or a woman. It really did put it in perspective that everyone has it bad.


If you need a laugh and/or a cry, this is the book for you. It has anywhere from "wound sex" to "let's contact the ex" relationship horrors. It's sure to delight and/or frighten everyone.

**I received this book in exchange for an honest review**

[Cassandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

As soon as i seen this book listed on Netgalley, i knew i wanted to read it. I was a huge fan of the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books as a child, as i was so excited to get the chance to read an adult version. I played through twice already, once as each sex, and i will probably be playing through a few more times before the weeks end. Although this book has some modern subjects ( online dating being the main topic ) it still had a shot of nostalgia and i loved that about it. I will be keeping my eyes peeled for the physical book in store, as i have a few friends who would love this as much as i did.

I received this ARC on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Tiegan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The female story lines were pretty varied, which was interesting. The male story lines were kind of repetitive, with a number of them ending with encountering the same couple of people. I did think it was interesting that the female story lines focused on having a one night stand, with only a couple of them ending in very odd and disturbing long term relationships. But the male story lines were about trying to find a long term relationship, or get back with an ex. There were some pretty funny encounters, some kind of cringe worthy, and others that were a little satisfying. Overall, a good mix, and a pretty fun choose your own story with so many options.

[Beth Younge · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was intrigued by this book and i loved the concept of picking your own depressing love life. I thought the heterosexual side was well thought out and there was a lot of choices to pick from however there was only one lesbian option and the ending for that was suitably depressing, given the nature of the book. I think this is a fun pick me up once in a while but it's not a book that i would say is one of the must reads around.

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Chase Parsley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another hilarious, rated-R installment in this series. I think it is cool how half of the storylines are from a guy’s dating life and the other half are from a woman’s. That being said, I liked the girl’s side better...I did not relate to the guy’s character (he is kind of a hipster, nerdy sort). Regardless, many of the storylines were very entertaining!

For me, I’d say that the Office is the best of the series, then the Holidays, then this one. Keep ‘em coming please! :)

[Olivia Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious! I am a huge fan of choose your own adventure books. This one has tons of different scenarios to choose from and let's you be two different characters. It's great if you have ever done online dating which most of us have. It's a quick, joyful read. This book would be a great gift!

I was given this book free from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

[✿ Mika ✿ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really short read and honestly it was pretty interesting. I read through all the endings just like in the previous books in the series and each one had its own hilarious twist in it. Though some parts were a bit weird and made me confused about the personality of this main character.

[Saran Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in the bath and laughed so hard I almost dropped the book. 10/10 would struggle to maintain slippery grip on this volume again.

[Bookworm Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny how relatable some of the endings are. An entertaining read for a trip or rainy day.

[Desi]

This book was super funny. I read through it twice - once as a female, once as a guy - and especially appreciated the sardonic humor in choosing the male path ("ah, to be born into a patriarchy jackpot.") Would be a really funny gift for serially single friends or anyone recently out of a relationship!

[January Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this a three, because clearly it is not for my age group, so I won't bash it. It is probably enjoyable for the younger generation and for those having a horrible time dating.. Cute new way to do the Choose Your Own Adventure type books. If I were in my 20's I would be totally into this book.

[Jenny Houle · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I LOVED the book, but I also LOVED choose your own adventure books as a kid, and I happen to have left the dating scene just enough pre-Tinder that I have friends who had to go through it, but I didn't myself, so it's hysterical to hear their stories for the most part. In other words, I'm the EXACT demographic Mike MacDonald and Jilly Gagnon want, and I can use their book to mock my friends lovingly (and/or show them how making the same choices over and over keeps getting them into the same Tinder match situation).

[Abigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you grew up reading choose your own adventure books then you will know that you almost never have a happy ending. Which makes this style perfect for the modern dating experience. It's a fun read, but I recommend starting with one of the female story threads. They are somehow so much weirder and funnier.

[Jim]

the first book i downloaded to my kindle and it is meant for someone younger and hipper than i am. gave up after a few pages, i don't think i was meant to be the intended reader. not rating it because it would be unfair to the writers. reminded me of The Preppy Handbook and Real Men Don't Eat Quiche.