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Love Defined: Embracing God's Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships
Our culture is obsessed with love and romance--so why are so few women experiencing satisfying, long-term love?
In this insightful and encouraging book, sisters Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird help single women of all ages discover a radically better approach to navigating their love lives. Covering topics such as true love, romance, purposeful relationships, purity, boundaries, singleness, and glorifying God in every stage of our relationships, Love Defined unpacks God's original design for romance, showing modern women how to experience God's best for them in their relationships. Full of biblical truths and step-by-step application of concepts discussed, the book also includes a chapter-by-chapter study guide to be used individually or in small groups, as well as four letters from godly women who have been married for 30, 40, and 50+ years, offering priceless, hard-won advice to single women.
In this insightful and encouraging book, sisters Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird help single women of all ages discover a radically better approach to navigating their love lives. Covering topics such as true love, romance, purposeful relationships, purity, boundaries, singleness, and glorifying God in every stage of our relationships, Love Defined unpacks God's original design for romance, showing modern women how to experience God's best for them in their relationships. Full of biblical truths and step-by-step application of concepts discussed, the book also includes a chapter-by-chapter study guide to be used individually or in small groups, as well as four letters from godly women who have been married for 30, 40, and 50+ years, offering priceless, hard-won advice to single women.
272 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2018
137 people are currently reading
1632 people want to read
About the author
Kristen Clark
13 books209 followersKristen Clark is married to her high school sweetheart, Zack, and has a background in Biblical counseling, young women's ministry, teen mentoring, online blogging, and is the co-founder of GirlDefined Ministries. She and her sister, Bethany, are passionate about fighting feminism, embracing gender distinctions, and empowering young women to live out their God defined purpose. You can read her weekly blog posts at girldefined.com or follow her on Facebook at facebook.com/girldefined.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 129 reviews
May 1, 2018
Love Defined is another incredible book from sisters Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird. After reading and loving their first book, Girl Defined, I was beyond excited to read a book from them about love and relationships. And, oh, I was not disappointed. With honesty, humor, wisdom, and real-life examples, Kristen and Bethany present a Biblically-sound and beautiful Christian Living book on navigating the world of romance.
I so enjoyed reading this book - finished it in under a week. It had a lot of insight and great advice to impart. I loved that there were chapters on ways to respond and steps to take when a man expresses an interest in you, and also red flags to watch for in relationships! The things shared in these chapters were so incredibly helpful. I know so many Christian girls/women are going to benefit from reading Love Defined!
The theme of this book is about radiantly glorifying God in how we respond to love and romance. Glorifying Him in our relationships. In our singleness. In our marriages. I've been gaining an understanding of how romantic love and marriage are so deeply entwined in pointing to God - His covenant love for us and Jesus Christ's relationship with the Church, His Bride. My future marriage (if that's in God's plan for my life) is going to be an exciting and amazing chance for me to illuminate my God and His love. Wow, this is powerful! And Love Defined just grew me in understanding this intriguing concept even better. Whether single or married, reading this book greatly encouraged me to get excited about making much of God's name wherever I am and in whatever I do.
A lovely thing about Love Defined is that it's written by a married woman and a single woman (they finished the book before Bethany entered her current relationship). It's great to get both perspectives - a peek into Kristen's marriage and awesome insight from Bethany's season of singleness. While writing this book, she was in her late twenties (twenty-nine?) with no idea if she'd ever marry. I'd say she knows a thing or two about singleness! It was so encouraging to hear from her on this topic. Finding satisfaction and joy in Christ alone is an amazing thing and I loved reading Bethany's story of finding that.
Truly, this is a book worth your time. I only wished I could have read it even before this! I really believe that God is going to use it to change women's perspectives on romance and marriage, and help girls who have the right heart - but are uncertain how to put this into practice - to figure out how to navigate these areas of life in a way that honors God, as they desire to!
Covering topics such as infatuation, romance, boundaries, warning signs in relationships, practical tips for approaching dating, friendship, singleness, being intentional, advice for marriage, sexual purity, and so on, it is packed with great content. I'm wanting to do a girl's Bible study with Love Defined now! Such a needed message! Definitely going to share with my seventeen-year-old sister.
I highly recommend to women! Love Defined is a must-read. I can hardly wait to read Kristen and Bethany's next book!
I received a copy of Love Defined from the authors and/or Baker Books in exchange for my honest review.
https://www.girldefined.com/lovedefined
I so enjoyed reading this book - finished it in under a week. It had a lot of insight and great advice to impart. I loved that there were chapters on ways to respond and steps to take when a man expresses an interest in you, and also red flags to watch for in relationships! The things shared in these chapters were so incredibly helpful. I know so many Christian girls/women are going to benefit from reading Love Defined!
The theme of this book is about radiantly glorifying God in how we respond to love and romance. Glorifying Him in our relationships. In our singleness. In our marriages. I've been gaining an understanding of how romantic love and marriage are so deeply entwined in pointing to God - His covenant love for us and Jesus Christ's relationship with the Church, His Bride. My future marriage (if that's in God's plan for my life) is going to be an exciting and amazing chance for me to illuminate my God and His love. Wow, this is powerful! And Love Defined just grew me in understanding this intriguing concept even better. Whether single or married, reading this book greatly encouraged me to get excited about making much of God's name wherever I am and in whatever I do.
A lovely thing about Love Defined is that it's written by a married woman and a single woman (they finished the book before Bethany entered her current relationship). It's great to get both perspectives - a peek into Kristen's marriage and awesome insight from Bethany's season of singleness. While writing this book, she was in her late twenties (twenty-nine?) with no idea if she'd ever marry. I'd say she knows a thing or two about singleness! It was so encouraging to hear from her on this topic. Finding satisfaction and joy in Christ alone is an amazing thing and I loved reading Bethany's story of finding that.
Truly, this is a book worth your time. I only wished I could have read it even before this! I really believe that God is going to use it to change women's perspectives on romance and marriage, and help girls who have the right heart - but are uncertain how to put this into practice - to figure out how to navigate these areas of life in a way that honors God, as they desire to!
Covering topics such as infatuation, romance, boundaries, warning signs in relationships, practical tips for approaching dating, friendship, singleness, being intentional, advice for marriage, sexual purity, and so on, it is packed with great content. I'm wanting to do a girl's Bible study with Love Defined now! Such a needed message! Definitely going to share with my seventeen-year-old sister.
I highly recommend to women! Love Defined is a must-read. I can hardly wait to read Kristen and Bethany's next book!
I received a copy of Love Defined from the authors and/or Baker Books in exchange for my honest review.
https://www.girldefined.com/lovedefined
June 4, 2018
Love Defined by Kristen Clark & Bethany Baird
I was quite excited for this book as a single woman. However, it was an incredible disappointment throughout. There are the occasionally good moments but much of it is superficial, artificial and insincere. I don’t particular like their position that kissing and hugging is equal to sexual immorality and on the same level of premarital sex. They also suggest that is not “feminine” for a woman to make the first move or show interest in a man. They also use scripture inappropriately to fit their agenda, which is ironic since they claim the Word of God needs to be the guiding point in their relationship. It’s also quite incorrect to say that a believer will hold the same values as you and that a non-believer will not hold the same values. While I agree fully a marriage works much better when faith values align, it is so inappropriate to suggest that a non-Christian will have opposing views on sexual intimacy, marriage, abortion and faith. They seem to believe that you’re either a Christian or an atheist, many non-church goers have no issue with their children going to church. Very little of the book actually fits with the title and purpose of their book. I forced myself to finish it, but would not recommend it to anyone looking for books on relationships.
Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa....
I was quite excited for this book as a single woman. However, it was an incredible disappointment throughout. There are the occasionally good moments but much of it is superficial, artificial and insincere. I don’t particular like their position that kissing and hugging is equal to sexual immorality and on the same level of premarital sex. They also suggest that is not “feminine” for a woman to make the first move or show interest in a man. They also use scripture inappropriately to fit their agenda, which is ironic since they claim the Word of God needs to be the guiding point in their relationship. It’s also quite incorrect to say that a believer will hold the same values as you and that a non-believer will not hold the same values. While I agree fully a marriage works much better when faith values align, it is so inappropriate to suggest that a non-Christian will have opposing views on sexual intimacy, marriage, abortion and faith. They seem to believe that you’re either a Christian or an atheist, many non-church goers have no issue with their children going to church. Very little of the book actually fits with the title and purpose of their book. I forced myself to finish it, but would not recommend it to anyone looking for books on relationships.
Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa....
March 14, 2019
The most unbelievably pathetic book to ever exist. If you are reading this book I recommend keeping a puke bucket handy rather than a leash for your lady.
This should be retitled: women getting paid to keep other women on a leash
This should be retitled: women getting paid to keep other women on a leash
April 29, 2018
This is honestly one of the best books I have ever read! It answers pretty much every question any single girl would have. So solid, full of wisdom, and practical. Every single girl should read it!
May 12, 2018
What an absolutely lovely book! Both Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird gave such great wisdom and insight through this book and I feel so excited to be able to write this review.
What I Liked: I was busy reading other books by the time this book came out, but I received a free audio book from Christian Audio for pre-ordering Love Defined: Embracing God's Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships and so I happily listened to it while going about some of my daily chores, etc. I was most certainly not disappointed.
These sisters were very encouraging and honest with young ladies about their past failures and successes in the area of romance and it was so refreshing to hear of their journey to realizing that true freedom is found in embracing God's vision for lasting love and satisfying relationships. I really liked the constant reminder throughout this book that no guy was ever made to satisfy me; I need to find my satisfaction constantly in Christ and HIS love for me and only when I keep Christ first in my life and focus on being satisfied in Him will I truly be able to appreciate to the full a future relationship and marriage.
Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird give such practical advice about seeking outside wisdom in relationships and being honest with yourself about any red flags or concerns you have if you are currently in a relationship, but also realizing that no guy is going to be perfect (which goes back to finding your complete fulfillment in Christ.) There's also a chapter where they have women who have been married for 30+ years give advice to younger, single women. Bethany Baird also did two whole chapter on living your single years as a young woman productively and not just surviving, but thriving. She really pinpointed how God can use your single years to glorify Him.
The authors also dealt with many other topics in this book such as qualities to look for in a future husband, purity, and more. In the back of the book they also included questions for couples to ask each other to dig deep into their relationship as well as Scriptures you can cut out and put on your wall. I was also encouraged and reminded that ultimately, marriage is for the glory of God--making His name known through marriage and striving together to grow in faith and holiness.
What I Didn't Like: I don't think there was anything I didn't like about this book. I would say that I would recommend this book to young ladies 16 or 17+ because they do deal with some more adult subjects.
I give this book 5 stars for such an encouraging book about glorifying God in romantic relationships and marriage. I appreciated how these authors shared so honestly their stories and their struggles and how God helped them grow spiritually and I am so glad they shared their wisdom and insight with us.
What I Liked: I was busy reading other books by the time this book came out, but I received a free audio book from Christian Audio for pre-ordering Love Defined: Embracing God's Vision for Lasting Love and Satisfying Relationships and so I happily listened to it while going about some of my daily chores, etc. I was most certainly not disappointed.
These sisters were very encouraging and honest with young ladies about their past failures and successes in the area of romance and it was so refreshing to hear of their journey to realizing that true freedom is found in embracing God's vision for lasting love and satisfying relationships. I really liked the constant reminder throughout this book that no guy was ever made to satisfy me; I need to find my satisfaction constantly in Christ and HIS love for me and only when I keep Christ first in my life and focus on being satisfied in Him will I truly be able to appreciate to the full a future relationship and marriage.
Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird give such practical advice about seeking outside wisdom in relationships and being honest with yourself about any red flags or concerns you have if you are currently in a relationship, but also realizing that no guy is going to be perfect (which goes back to finding your complete fulfillment in Christ.) There's also a chapter where they have women who have been married for 30+ years give advice to younger, single women. Bethany Baird also did two whole chapter on living your single years as a young woman productively and not just surviving, but thriving. She really pinpointed how God can use your single years to glorify Him.
The authors also dealt with many other topics in this book such as qualities to look for in a future husband, purity, and more. In the back of the book they also included questions for couples to ask each other to dig deep into their relationship as well as Scriptures you can cut out and put on your wall. I was also encouraged and reminded that ultimately, marriage is for the glory of God--making His name known through marriage and striving together to grow in faith and holiness.
What I Didn't Like: I don't think there was anything I didn't like about this book. I would say that I would recommend this book to young ladies 16 or 17+ because they do deal with some more adult subjects.
I give this book 5 stars for such an encouraging book about glorifying God in romantic relationships and marriage. I appreciated how these authors shared so honestly their stories and their struggles and how God helped them grow spiritually and I am so glad they shared their wisdom and insight with us.
January 18, 2021
I am going to make this a yearly read!
Love Defined answers a lot of the most common questions asked by single Christian women today. But whether you are single or currently in a relationship, I am sure you will benefit from this book!
Both sisters speak from past dating experiences and give you insight from both the single girls perspective and the married lady's perspective.
Read my full review here: https://joyandwildflowers.blogspot.co...
Love Defined answers a lot of the most common questions asked by single Christian women today. But whether you are single or currently in a relationship, I am sure you will benefit from this book!
Both sisters speak from past dating experiences and give you insight from both the single girls perspective and the married lady's perspective.
Read my full review here: https://joyandwildflowers.blogspot.co...
September 6, 2021
4/5 stars
I didn't like this book as much the second time around, which is why I changed my rating to 4 stars. Still, I highly recommend this book! It's full of great reminders and loads of encouragement!
I didn't like this book as much the second time around, which is why I changed my rating to 4 stars. Still, I highly recommend this book! It's full of great reminders and loads of encouragement!
July 2, 2020
Sometimes I really do have to wonder how two women can be so completely sexist under the guise of religion.
April 29, 2018
As a whole, I didn't like this book very much. This made me sad because I was really looking forward to this book.
There were a few things I liked about it and a few chapters that I thought were spot on. I really liked what they said about how to know the guy you're with is "the one," and what red flags to look out for in a relationship. They also had a neat chapter with advice from married women in it.
However, there were several times that they were claiming to be stating God's way of doing romance/ relationships- with only a couple of supporting Scriptures here and there. If you take this book to be "Love Defined by Kristen and Bethany" rather than "Love Defined by God" then I think that would be a better way of looking at this book. :/
Additionally, several times they pulled verses out of context to match their beliefs. When I looked up these verses in the Bible, I found that they didn't relate to what Bethany and Kristen were saying at all!
I think if you've been a Christian for a while and know the Bible well and would be able to catch these instances, then go ahead and read the book if you want. But if you're a new Christian or don't know much about the Bible, then I HIGHLY recommend looking up every Scripture reference in your Bible to see what it's really saying.
(They didn't misquote it all the time, but there were several cases of this. I can't recommend this book without saying that for fear that someone would be mislead to believe that the Bible says something that it doesn't.)
{I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.}
There were a few things I liked about it and a few chapters that I thought were spot on. I really liked what they said about how to know the guy you're with is "the one," and what red flags to look out for in a relationship. They also had a neat chapter with advice from married women in it.
However, there were several times that they were claiming to be stating God's way of doing romance/ relationships- with only a couple of supporting Scriptures here and there. If you take this book to be "Love Defined by Kristen and Bethany" rather than "Love Defined by God" then I think that would be a better way of looking at this book. :/
Additionally, several times they pulled verses out of context to match their beliefs. When I looked up these verses in the Bible, I found that they didn't relate to what Bethany and Kristen were saying at all!
I think if you've been a Christian for a while and know the Bible well and would be able to catch these instances, then go ahead and read the book if you want. But if you're a new Christian or don't know much about the Bible, then I HIGHLY recommend looking up every Scripture reference in your Bible to see what it's really saying.
(They didn't misquote it all the time, but there were several cases of this. I can't recommend this book without saying that for fear that someone would be mislead to believe that the Bible says something that it doesn't.)
{I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.}
September 30, 2020
disclaimer — I read this book as part of a book study with three other friends. we all belong to the same church denomination and after reading a book on which we all had similar (and positive) opinions, we decided to choose a book from the complete opposite end of the spectrum and talk about the differences between our theological tradition and the views that come from Kristen and Bethany. From that standpoint, it was a perfect book to read. We had lots of great discussions about why their views are poorly researched (the scriptural foundations for many of their arguments are tenuous at best) and harmful to young girls who are looking for guidance from their churches.
From a personal standpoint, I really can’t take anything that Kristen and Bethany say seriously because while they are undoubtedly very convicted in their faith and have done lots of study, their advice is riddled with homophobia, transphobia, and internalized misogyny. I hope that they can someday open up their worldview.
From a personal standpoint, I really can’t take anything that Kristen and Bethany say seriously because while they are undoubtedly very convicted in their faith and have done lots of study, their advice is riddled with homophobia, transphobia, and internalized misogyny. I hope that they can someday open up their worldview.
April 11, 2019
Very good!
May 18, 2021
I'll admit, I was skeptical about this book. I've heard both high praise for it from some and a "meh" here and there from others. Yes, I found it to be far better than I expected, and yes, I gave it a 3-star rating. Let me be clear:
Love Defined was solidly good.
The authors have a good grasp of the Biblical understanding of love, pulling from Scripture and the work of other Christian teachers/theologians to support their points. I greatly appreciated how they always came back to the Word as the final authority of truth, pinpointing certain lies and misconceptions about love that young Christian women may have bought into. I take very little issue with the content.
It was, perhaps, the presentation of the content that bothered me. (And my qualms with the presentation may have a lot to do with my background and personality - so I can see why another might give this book a higher rating than I did.)
I didn't grow up in the same way as the (formerly) Baird sisters, I'm not naturally flirtatious, others have described me as rather prim and proper (a different fault in itself) - so it was a little... offsetting? when the authors directed a good portion of their book toward "you" (the audience as a whole) who naturally "jump at the chance" to "go for the guy" or "make the first move," etc. A minor issue, but all the same it could turn quite a few people off who would benefit from the real content of the book.
This next issue is very much a personal preference, but the authors' writing style isn't my favorite. To me, it comes across as overly exuberant and just a small bit condescending, though I don't think that's their intent in the least. Who knows, maybe their style might jive with you better than it did me : ) It's really a nitpicky point.
Another small thing, but their condensed lists of how to pursue "lasting relationships" and to avoid heartache... didn't always appeal to me. And perhaps they would to others. While they had good content, good advice, occasionally they came across as too simplified. To be fair, the sisters do caveat their points by reminding readers that there is no "cookie-cutter" format for pursuing a guy. So, it could go either way for readers, I personally just had a hard time with the lists.
The final issue is one that might be the only significant cause for concern. You see, the authors spend a substantial amount of time on "red flags" in a guy, what to look for/ not look for in a future spouse, making sure you don't date a [insert bad adjective] guy because he's not the type of person who would lead Biblically, love well, etc. That's great and all. Truly. But, whether the authors intended to or not, it seemed at points as though they were neglecting to address another very important matter - the girl shouldn't just wait for or look for the right, godly guy (who may or may not come). She needs to be looking inward first, working out her salvation with fear and trembling, seeking to address her own faults before heading into marriage. No, I don't think the authors were trying to do this. They did in fact spend some time in the chapters on "singleness" encouraging personal growth. But when it came to the later chapters, the emphasis shifted and seemed to lose sight of this reality. I think this is important enough to warrant at least some level caution and integrity while reading.
I didn't spend much time on the benefits of reading this book, on the highlights of finding a book that actually explains love and sex and relationships in an easy-to-read, compassionate voice and from a Biblical perspective. Though I took issue with a few things here and there, in truth there are many things to commend about Love Defined. If you're looking for a basic look at the Scriptural understanding of love and how to have a Christ-centered approach to relationships, you might just find what you're looking for in this book.
Love Defined was solidly good.
The authors have a good grasp of the Biblical understanding of love, pulling from Scripture and the work of other Christian teachers/theologians to support their points. I greatly appreciated how they always came back to the Word as the final authority of truth, pinpointing certain lies and misconceptions about love that young Christian women may have bought into. I take very little issue with the content.
It was, perhaps, the presentation of the content that bothered me. (And my qualms with the presentation may have a lot to do with my background and personality - so I can see why another might give this book a higher rating than I did.)
I didn't grow up in the same way as the (formerly) Baird sisters, I'm not naturally flirtatious, others have described me as rather prim and proper (a different fault in itself) - so it was a little... offsetting? when the authors directed a good portion of their book toward "you" (the audience as a whole) who naturally "jump at the chance" to "go for the guy" or "make the first move," etc. A minor issue, but all the same it could turn quite a few people off who would benefit from the real content of the book.
This next issue is very much a personal preference, but the authors' writing style isn't my favorite. To me, it comes across as overly exuberant and just a small bit condescending, though I don't think that's their intent in the least. Who knows, maybe their style might jive with you better than it did me : ) It's really a nitpicky point.
Another small thing, but their condensed lists of how to pursue "lasting relationships" and to avoid heartache... didn't always appeal to me. And perhaps they would to others. While they had good content, good advice, occasionally they came across as too simplified. To be fair, the sisters do caveat their points by reminding readers that there is no "cookie-cutter" format for pursuing a guy. So, it could go either way for readers, I personally just had a hard time with the lists.
The final issue is one that might be the only significant cause for concern. You see, the authors spend a substantial amount of time on "red flags" in a guy, what to look for/ not look for in a future spouse, making sure you don't date a [insert bad adjective] guy because he's not the type of person who would lead Biblically, love well, etc. That's great and all. Truly. But, whether the authors intended to or not, it seemed at points as though they were neglecting to address another very important matter - the girl shouldn't just wait for or look for the right, godly guy (who may or may not come). She needs to be looking inward first, working out her salvation with fear and trembling, seeking to address her own faults before heading into marriage. No, I don't think the authors were trying to do this. They did in fact spend some time in the chapters on "singleness" encouraging personal growth. But when it came to the later chapters, the emphasis shifted and seemed to lose sight of this reality. I think this is important enough to warrant at least some level caution and integrity while reading.
I didn't spend much time on the benefits of reading this book, on the highlights of finding a book that actually explains love and sex and relationships in an easy-to-read, compassionate voice and from a Biblical perspective. Though I took issue with a few things here and there, in truth there are many things to commend about Love Defined. If you're looking for a basic look at the Scriptural understanding of love and how to have a Christ-centered approach to relationships, you might just find what you're looking for in this book.
September 7, 2022
4.5 ⭐
I have read this book three times now and have gotten more out of it each read-through. The pages of my copy is now filled with highlights, underlines and notes. I love to have my Bible with me and look up each and every verse mentioned, reading through them all. This of course results in it taking me an hour or more to read one chapter, but I get so much more out of it when I do this. And that way I'm not simply taking their word for it, I'm searching the Bible and backing it all in the Word.
I have read this book three times now and have gotten more out of it each read-through. The pages of my copy is now filled with highlights, underlines and notes. I love to have my Bible with me and look up each and every verse mentioned, reading through them all. This of course results in it taking me an hour or more to read one chapter, but I get so much more out of it when I do this. And that way I'm not simply taking their word for it, I'm searching the Bible and backing it all in the Word.
October 19, 2025
Actual rating 2.5 🌟
Cheesy, juvenile, and some misapplication of scripture.
There were some good points, but they were buried in stupid stories and "God is writing your story" type phrases. God isn't playing Barbies with your life. He's there, working, but not, I believe, in the way these sisters describe.
Cheesy, juvenile, and some misapplication of scripture.
There were some good points, but they were buried in stupid stories and "God is writing your story" type phrases. God isn't playing Barbies with your life. He's there, working, but not, I believe, in the way these sisters describe.
June 26, 2019
I LOVED IT. SERIOUSLY, Y'All - GO READ THIS BOOK.
October 3, 2018
So, hey, I'm twenty-something and single, but I'm actually am okay with that. In fact, I know that being single allows me certain freedoms that I wouldn't otherwise have if I was married.
Saying that, well, then why did I pick up this book?
Well, my motto for love and marriage is: "Strive to be a godly woman, know what to look for, trusting God to do the looking, so when Mr. Right does happen to show you won't fall face first and forget what marriage is really about. Marriage should be honoring and glorifying God; marriage is going change your life, you won't want anything less."
This book, kinda talks about that. Well, in a few different words.... What I put above is really my own saying I just made up two minutes ago, but true nonetheless.
I like to have an open mind about the idea of romance. But really? It's in God's control. With all the things I forget that God is in control of, romance has always been something that I am like: "Okay God, I'm not really into romance, but if there is someone you have in mind for me, I look into it."
But I do know that God is really going to have to nudge me when Mr. Right does come around. Because I have never looked.
At.
All.
BUT, I do kinda know what kinds of things I would like in a husband, which I think is important for all women to know if they want to get married or not.
I found myself nodding my head in agreement with most of what this book had to say. I really loved what they had to say about a Christ-centered romance. I mean, yes, this is pretty cool.
I might think about getting it again, one of these days, just to look at the Bible references again, as like I said, I already had some of these ideas but I didn't really have any Bible verses to support them at the time, but now I do! =)
But Why Four Stars???
So you're all probably wondering why four stars? If my beliefs are similar to this book's, then why a lower rating? Well, this is nothing against anyone, because it's just me. So, the book keeps talking about the world's merry-go-round approach to marriage and romance and how singles really want to get married and so forth... Well, I have been in this very unique situation that caused me to be sheltered in many things of the world. I'm not perfect, I have watched movies and read books that has some of this in it, so yes, I really do know what people are talking about. But, I'm not, (or I don't feel) pressured to take part of the world's merry-go-round. I was never a teenager who would talk about boys, in fact, I talk more about books and movies (and possibly the couples in those books and movies, but don't judge), ask anyone. And I never been in a heartbreaking relationship, mostly because I have never been in a girl/boy relationship before. This is just me, guys, I have a strange personality, but that's who God made me to be, and I love it. I also want to say, that not everyone is going to take part of the world's merry-go-round or is going to be boy obsessed, so that is one of the biggest things I had against this book. Yes we need to know about it, but does everyone do it? NOOOOOOO!!!!
Honestly, I'm not trying to be negative here. I loved a lot of things about this book! A lot of this book is so good and a lot of it can be taken out and put to use in everyday life. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about romances because I really do agree with a lot what they say about Christ-centered romance. I definitely got things in this book, things I'm going to consider and maybe pray more about.
Who Would I Recommend This Book To:
Those who had heartbreak before. Those who are single and want to know more about a Christ-centered romance.
Special thanks to my good Goodreads friend Shantelle Mary Hannu who recommended me this book! I really got a lot from it, thank you so much for sharing it! =D
Saying that, well, then why did I pick up this book?
Well, my motto for love and marriage is: "Strive to be a godly woman, know what to look for, trusting God to do the looking, so when Mr. Right does happen to show you won't fall face first and forget what marriage is really about. Marriage should be honoring and glorifying God; marriage is going change your life, you won't want anything less."
This book, kinda talks about that. Well, in a few different words.... What I put above is really my own saying I just made up two minutes ago, but true nonetheless.
I like to have an open mind about the idea of romance. But really? It's in God's control. With all the things I forget that God is in control of, romance has always been something that I am like: "Okay God, I'm not really into romance, but if there is someone you have in mind for me, I look into it."
But I do know that God is really going to have to nudge me when Mr. Right does come around. Because I have never looked.
At.
All.
BUT, I do kinda know what kinds of things I would like in a husband, which I think is important for all women to know if they want to get married or not.
I found myself nodding my head in agreement with most of what this book had to say. I really loved what they had to say about a Christ-centered romance. I mean, yes, this is pretty cool.
I might think about getting it again, one of these days, just to look at the Bible references again, as like I said, I already had some of these ideas but I didn't really have any Bible verses to support them at the time, but now I do! =)
But Why Four Stars???
So you're all probably wondering why four stars? If my beliefs are similar to this book's, then why a lower rating? Well, this is nothing against anyone, because it's just me. So, the book keeps talking about the world's merry-go-round approach to marriage and romance and how singles really want to get married and so forth... Well, I have been in this very unique situation that caused me to be sheltered in many things of the world. I'm not perfect, I have watched movies and read books that has some of this in it, so yes, I really do know what people are talking about. But, I'm not, (or I don't feel) pressured to take part of the world's merry-go-round. I was never a teenager who would talk about boys, in fact, I talk more about books and movies (and possibly the couples in those books and movies, but don't judge), ask anyone. And I never been in a heartbreaking relationship, mostly because I have never been in a girl/boy relationship before. This is just me, guys, I have a strange personality, but that's who God made me to be, and I love it. I also want to say, that not everyone is going to take part of the world's merry-go-round or is going to be boy obsessed, so that is one of the biggest things I had against this book. Yes we need to know about it, but does everyone do it? NOOOOOOO!!!!
Honestly, I'm not trying to be negative here. I loved a lot of things about this book! A lot of this book is so good and a lot of it can be taken out and put to use in everyday life. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know more about romances because I really do agree with a lot what they say about Christ-centered romance. I definitely got things in this book, things I'm going to consider and maybe pray more about.
Who Would I Recommend This Book To:
Those who had heartbreak before. Those who are single and want to know more about a Christ-centered romance.
Special thanks to my good Goodreads friend Shantelle Mary Hannu who recommended me this book! I really got a lot from it, thank you so much for sharing it! =D
January 4, 2020
I signed up for a JustRead Blind Read and was sent Love Defined. It didn't take long for me to realize that this book is focused on single Christian women, and while I am a Christian woman I am not single, and have actually been happily married for almost seven years. Still, I did sign up for this tour, and was actually curious since I did not have a resource like this when I was single, and let me say it was such a blessing that I read it.
I had never heard of Girl Defined Ministries before, but after reading Love Defined I can see what a wonderful ministry this is, and wish it were around when I was in the dating scene.
Written by two sisters, one married and one single, Love Defined gives you the roadmap to dating and relationships from a Biblical standpoint. While I am not a single gal I still took quite a bit away from this study. There were good reminders on Biblical womanhood and marriage principles as well as information and advice that I am passing down to my two teenage sons, who will be starting to date very soon.
Proving that this resource goes beyond singles, I would highly recommend Love Defined to anyone. With its laid-back, down to earth writing, clean study layout, and applicable questions at the end of the chapter to take you deeper in the study, and make each chapter more personal, I can say this resource is a winner!
*I have voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the publisher through JustRead Tours. All views and opinions expressed are completely honest, and my own.
I had never heard of Girl Defined Ministries before, but after reading Love Defined I can see what a wonderful ministry this is, and wish it were around when I was in the dating scene.
Written by two sisters, one married and one single, Love Defined gives you the roadmap to dating and relationships from a Biblical standpoint. While I am not a single gal I still took quite a bit away from this study. There were good reminders on Biblical womanhood and marriage principles as well as information and advice that I am passing down to my two teenage sons, who will be starting to date very soon.
Proving that this resource goes beyond singles, I would highly recommend Love Defined to anyone. With its laid-back, down to earth writing, clean study layout, and applicable questions at the end of the chapter to take you deeper in the study, and make each chapter more personal, I can say this resource is a winner!
*I have voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the publisher through JustRead Tours. All views and opinions expressed are completely honest, and my own.
January 6, 2020
I wish I had this book years ago! I had to learn all these pieces of wisdom from experience. The Hollywood idea of love is so shallow, not at all the way God shows us in His word. His love through Jesus is completely selfless, sacrificial and giving. This kind of love is very difficult to learn because it is completely different from the world!!
Ladies (especially ages 15-22) who read this and take it to heart will find themselves satisfied and content with their relationship with God first and foremost, whether they have a boyfriend or not. They will grow in the relationship with the Lord, and discovering God’s timing for a man after His heart. As a married person, I wish I had read a book like this before I began any relationships. But I also think is important for married women to keep God First and be satisfied with God’s provision so that no husband is given unrealistic or selfish expectations.
I enjoyed the book but also thought it could be more condensed. Sometimes switching between the two authors was confusing to me. Otherwise I highly recommend!
Ladies (especially ages 15-22) who read this and take it to heart will find themselves satisfied and content with their relationship with God first and foremost, whether they have a boyfriend or not. They will grow in the relationship with the Lord, and discovering God’s timing for a man after His heart. As a married person, I wish I had read a book like this before I began any relationships. But I also think is important for married women to keep God First and be satisfied with God’s provision so that no husband is given unrealistic or selfish expectations.
I enjoyed the book but also thought it could be more condensed. Sometimes switching between the two authors was confusing to me. Otherwise I highly recommend!
December 15, 2020
I'm pretty sure God put this piece into my life to grow as an individual in my spirituality and prepare myself for true commitment. This book showed me what kind of man I deserve, and as soon as I finished it, I was introduced to my current boyfriend. We have gone through the questions in the first appendix (found in the back of the book) together, and it brought us so close. I'm really grateful to have read this.
April 23, 2018
I had the privilege of being on the book launch team for "Love Defined" and I am so glad I got to be a part of sharing this book and all that it has to teach us!
I absolutely LOVED this book! I am someone who thoroughly reads any book focused on how to approach God honoring relationships from a Biblical perspective, and this book was such a fabulous asset to reaffirming the beliefs I have in regards to relationships.
I love that the book is so conversational, and you feel like you are sitting down to coffee and talking with Kristen and Bethany. It is also super relatable because you get to hear real life stories and perspectives from a marriage view as well as a single view and it is so encouraging.
I especially love that the book takes you from the "before a relationship stage" to how to approach a relationship in a God honoring way, all the way into how to carry out God's design for love and intamacy all the way into marriage.
This book was great because it built upon what I already believed, taught me new Biblical perspectives as to the "WHY" we should approach relationships in a way that pleases God and how God designed love and marriage, as well as gave tips on applying those standards of relationships, and purity into my own life and future relationships.
The book made since, gave Biblical sources and verses to back up topics, and guides you in how to live out God's design for LOVE.
The back Appendix B is also super cool because they give you a list of Important Questions to Ask During a Relationship to make sure that both you and the guy are on the right track (which I think is so helpful and important).
Also, each chapter has study guide questions at the end to help you reflect back over what you have read and apply things to your own life.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!!
I absolutely LOVED this book! I am someone who thoroughly reads any book focused on how to approach God honoring relationships from a Biblical perspective, and this book was such a fabulous asset to reaffirming the beliefs I have in regards to relationships.
I love that the book is so conversational, and you feel like you are sitting down to coffee and talking with Kristen and Bethany. It is also super relatable because you get to hear real life stories and perspectives from a marriage view as well as a single view and it is so encouraging.
I especially love that the book takes you from the "before a relationship stage" to how to approach a relationship in a God honoring way, all the way into how to carry out God's design for love and intamacy all the way into marriage.
This book was great because it built upon what I already believed, taught me new Biblical perspectives as to the "WHY" we should approach relationships in a way that pleases God and how God designed love and marriage, as well as gave tips on applying those standards of relationships, and purity into my own life and future relationships.
The book made since, gave Biblical sources and verses to back up topics, and guides you in how to live out God's design for LOVE.
The back Appendix B is also super cool because they give you a list of Important Questions to Ask During a Relationship to make sure that both you and the guy are on the right track (which I think is so helpful and important).
Also, each chapter has study guide questions at the end to help you reflect back over what you have read and apply things to your own life.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!!
January 7, 2020
I was so excited when I received this book. I was ready to read it as a single woman who honestly hasn’t had much luck with relationships. “Lasting love”, “satisfying relationships”, “embracing God’s vision” - they all sounded like excellent things I wanted. As I began reading, I took some notes of good points Kristen and Bethany made. Like on page 40 they say, “make them the kind of person you want to be,” when referring to when we’re dating we become completely blinded and see only what we want to see. I’ve been there before. I know this to be true! On page 68, she says, “true love is an action, not an emotional feeling.” But then they go on to discuss Bible verses and twist them the way they want them to fit, not necessarily how they are in the Bible (look up the verses yourself). They come across extremely homophobic. Honestly, it all becomes quite hard to read. It’s not really embracing God’s vision anymore...it’s how to embrace their vision of what they believe love is. For a book I was so excited to read, I truly began to suffer to read it.
I feel that everyone should have their own opinions and not just take someone else’s and run with it, so please read if you’re interested.
I did receive a copy in exchange for my honest opinion.
I feel that everyone should have their own opinions and not just take someone else’s and run with it, so please read if you’re interested.
I did receive a copy in exchange for my honest opinion.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 30, 2019
How do you define Love? How do you find lasting love in our modern culture? Love defined by Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird have written a book to guide single women in to seeing love and relationships the way God sees them.
Love Defined is divided in to five parts: Happily Ever Disaster, Bringing Back True Love, Single and Waiting to Mingle, Working Through the Nitty Gritty, and Living Well on this side of the Alter. Clark and Baird are sisters who write throughout this book about their own experiences, as well as the experiences of other people they know. They aren't relationship experts but they are the founders of GirlDefined Ministries and previously authored a book called, Girl Defined. Throughout this book, they share from God's Word as well as their experiences. At the end of each chapter, there is a short study to help readers grow and remember what they are learning. At the end of the book, there are two appendixes: Finding Freedom from Past Sexual Sin and Fifty Questions to Ask Early in the Relationship.
I think one of the biggest strengths of Love Defined is that these two women open up and share their hearts as women who have made mistakes and grown and then share them with the readers. They work with a lot of girls in their ministry and they act as sort of big sisters in this book to a sister reader giving helpful advice from ladies who have had similar experiences in our culture today. They break all of the information down in to bite-sized bits and they aren't afraid to tackle difficult subjects in a way that respects both God and the reader. I would pass Love Defined on to any single woman who is searching for how to better do life as a single and also as one who is in a relationship and wants that relationship to honor God and each other. I especially liked the chapter called, What Married Women Want you to know. I think we can all learn from and encourage each other and these ladies offers some great words of wisdom. In this last section, the authors encourage you to find an older Christian woman to be a mentor or to be a mentor to a younger woman if you are an older Christian woman. I think that personal relationship could be so valuable for both parties.
I received this book from Baker Publishing and Just Read Tours Blind Date book tour. All opinions are my own.
Love Defined is divided in to five parts: Happily Ever Disaster, Bringing Back True Love, Single and Waiting to Mingle, Working Through the Nitty Gritty, and Living Well on this side of the Alter. Clark and Baird are sisters who write throughout this book about their own experiences, as well as the experiences of other people they know. They aren't relationship experts but they are the founders of GirlDefined Ministries and previously authored a book called, Girl Defined. Throughout this book, they share from God's Word as well as their experiences. At the end of each chapter, there is a short study to help readers grow and remember what they are learning. At the end of the book, there are two appendixes: Finding Freedom from Past Sexual Sin and Fifty Questions to Ask Early in the Relationship.
I think one of the biggest strengths of Love Defined is that these two women open up and share their hearts as women who have made mistakes and grown and then share them with the readers. They work with a lot of girls in their ministry and they act as sort of big sisters in this book to a sister reader giving helpful advice from ladies who have had similar experiences in our culture today. They break all of the information down in to bite-sized bits and they aren't afraid to tackle difficult subjects in a way that respects both God and the reader. I would pass Love Defined on to any single woman who is searching for how to better do life as a single and also as one who is in a relationship and wants that relationship to honor God and each other. I especially liked the chapter called, What Married Women Want you to know. I think we can all learn from and encourage each other and these ladies offers some great words of wisdom. In this last section, the authors encourage you to find an older Christian woman to be a mentor or to be a mentor to a younger woman if you are an older Christian woman. I think that personal relationship could be so valuable for both parties.
I received this book from Baker Publishing and Just Read Tours Blind Date book tour. All opinions are my own.
December 17, 2019
The heart of Love Defined's perspective on relationships is glorifying God and demonstrating the gospel. It's got a lot of good stories from the authors' lives and insights from older women. It asks and suggests excellent questions to be thinking through and discussing with a guy (though the questions could be asked from guy to girl, too). And it really probes into our own hearts as girls/women, encouraging and challenging us towards the truth of *God's* definition of love.
February 18, 2024
Z częścią poglądów przedstawionych w książce zgadzam się jako chrześcijanka. Część z nich jednak stoi w sprzeczności z informacjami przekazywanymi mi przez świat w którym przyszło mi żyć. Nie zmienia to faktu iż spróbuję wprowadzić do życia niektóre metody opisane w tej książce.
April 23, 2018
I'm so excited to have been a part of the launch team for this book! I got this book a few weeks early in exchange for a review.
First, the cover is gorgeous! It looks so beautiful on my shelf. But, onto the book. Kristen and Bethany were obviously very well educated on the subject and they did a great job explaining everything. This answered a lot of questions people are scared to ask. My favorite points where how they talked about why it's important to stay pure before marriage and how it benefits you, what to look for in a guy and what the relationship process should look like, and why it's okay to be single.
However, I did have a couple negatives. For one, they constantly used fragments like this: "I read the book. Read it and loved it. Read it again and again. Read it for fun." That would have been fine with me if they hadn't done it so much. They also did have a writing few issues here and there, and to me, some of the points they made were a bit obvious (then again, they may not be to someone who wasn't raised in a Christian home).
Overall, a very nice book that I recommend to all Christian women.
First, the cover is gorgeous! It looks so beautiful on my shelf. But, onto the book. Kristen and Bethany were obviously very well educated on the subject and they did a great job explaining everything. This answered a lot of questions people are scared to ask. My favorite points where how they talked about why it's important to stay pure before marriage and how it benefits you, what to look for in a guy and what the relationship process should look like, and why it's okay to be single.
However, I did have a couple negatives. For one, they constantly used fragments like this: "I read the book. Read it and loved it. Read it again and again. Read it for fun." That would have been fine with me if they hadn't done it so much. They also did have a writing few issues here and there, and to me, some of the points they made were a bit obvious (then again, they may not be to someone who wasn't raised in a Christian home).
Overall, a very nice book that I recommend to all Christian women.
February 23, 2020
Love Defined was a gem of a read. It takes a lot for a nonfiction book on relationships to make such an impact, but I found myself rereading sentence after sentence. SO good!
I appreciate how the book was written by two sisters - one married, one single. So you get different perspectives on love and relationships. I also liked how they weren't afraid to be blunt at times.
All in all, I definitely recommend this book and can see myself rereading in the future.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
I appreciate how the book was written by two sisters - one married, one single. So you get different perspectives on love and relationships. I also liked how they weren't afraid to be blunt at times.
All in all, I definitely recommend this book and can see myself rereading in the future.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
May 22, 2020
“God-defined love is built not on a foundation of self but rather on a foundation of self-sacrifice.”
Split up in five parts, the book is well structured and easy to read with many practice tips and tricks. Kristen and Bethany share both success and failure from their own lives and yes, you will find yourself smiling at times by their stories.
Themes discussed in “Loved Defined” are anything from culture vs. biblical perspective on love, the true purpose of marriage, to the famous question “How do I know if he’s the one?” But, as the sisters write, “Knowledge alone isn’t enough. If you don’t choose to put this truth into action, your life won’t change.” At the end of every chapter you will find study questions to deepen what you have read and make it personal.
I can recommend this book to any girl out there aged 16+. For me it was refreshing (as the back cover promises) to be reminded of God’s amazing design for true love and lasting relationships, which is so different from what this world tells us.
“God-defined love is built not on a foundation of self but rather on a foundation of self-sacrifice.”
Split up in five parts, the book is well structured and easy to read with many practice tips and tricks. Kristen and Bethany share both success and failure from their own lives and yes, you will find yourself smiling at times by their stories.
Themes discussed in “Loved Defined” are anything from culture vs. biblical perspective on love, the true purpose of marriage, to the famous question “How do I know if he’s the one?” But, as the sisters write, “Knowledge alone isn’t enough. If you don’t choose to put this truth into action, your life won’t change.” At the end of every chapter you will find study questions to deepen what you have read and make it personal.
I can recommend this book to any girl out there aged 16+. For me it was refreshing (as the back cover promises) to be reminded of God’s amazing design for true love and lasting relationships, which is so different from what this world tells us.
“God-defined love is built not on a foundation of self but rather on a foundation of self-sacrifice.”
October 13, 2021
⚠️This book is incredibly challenging to read. ⚠️
If you have dyslexia I highly recommend An ebook or audiobook. The paperback book is physically just hard to read. Overall I found the book lacking. In discussion, it has nothing wrong, it is mostly fluff, with a toping of homophobia.
This is just a personal preference, but I don't like the writing style. It's too happy; it's almost artificial.
If I'm being completely honest here; I'm actually concerned that Kristen and Bethany
do not know the difference between fiction and reality. They go on and on about Hollywood, as if Hollywood is a sentient being bent on world domination. It's just
weird. Like with my, admittedly very limited knowledge of the entertainment industry, I just don't think that's how it works. I don't think it's that simple.
But go ahead, and read it, if your curious. But its not for me
If you have dyslexia I highly recommend An ebook or audiobook. The paperback book is physically just hard to read. Overall I found the book lacking. In discussion, it has nothing wrong, it is mostly fluff, with a toping of homophobia.
This is just a personal preference, but I don't like the writing style. It's too happy; it's almost artificial.
If I'm being completely honest here; I'm actually concerned that Kristen and Bethany
do not know the difference between fiction and reality. They go on and on about Hollywood, as if Hollywood is a sentient being bent on world domination. It's just
weird. Like with my, admittedly very limited knowledge of the entertainment industry, I just don't think that's how it works. I don't think it's that simple.
But go ahead, and read it, if your curious. But its not for me
January 19, 2019
Most of this book is filled with slut-shaming language, some homophobia and transphobia, some bigotry, and just a general misunderstanding of any not-religious relationships.
The only thing that I could even remotely agree with actually took me by surprise. At the end they equate a woman's worth with a one hundred dollar bill. When it's brand new and clean and untouched, it's worth $100. When it's been through some stuff and is now nasty and used and dirty, it's still worth $100. Yeah, they're still slut shaming women with that, but it's better (marginally) than the used chewing gum comparison I was expecting.
This book is garbage in regards to actual relationship advice, defining love, or anything useful.
The only thing that I could even remotely agree with actually took me by surprise. At the end they equate a woman's worth with a one hundred dollar bill. When it's brand new and clean and untouched, it's worth $100. When it's been through some stuff and is now nasty and used and dirty, it's still worth $100. Yeah, they're still slut shaming women with that, but it's better (marginally) than the used chewing gum comparison I was expecting.
This book is garbage in regards to actual relationship advice, defining love, or anything useful.
February 27, 2019
A great book for young women who desire to know God's way for love and romance!
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