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Grace Like Scarlett
Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don't know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone.
With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichEs and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for loved ones.
With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichEs and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for loved ones.
224 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2018
80 people are currently reading
640 people want to read
About the author
Adriel Booker
3 books38 followersAdriel Booker is an author, speaker, and advocate. Originally a tree-hugger from Oregon, USA, Adriel has made her home overseas for most of her adult life, and has traveled internationally as a speaker and leadership coach for close to two decades. Now Australian, Adriel lives in Sydney with her husband and children where they run a non-profit and cultivate the joy of living in a city by the sea. Adriel is interested in exploring the intersection of heaven and earth in a way that unearths God's goodness through everyday spirituality. Her debut book, Grace Like Scarlett, released in May 2018 with Baker Books, an imprint of the Baker Publishing Group.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 112 reviews
February 15, 2020
If a friend or loved one has had a miscarriage, please consider purchasing this book for them. This book has been utterly life-giving for me. Booker puts into words so many things I have/am experiencing. It felt like an immense relief to be understood and to find the aches of my heart to be put into words so honestly and tenderly. She doesn't sugarcoat loss, but rather provides ways to acknowledge grief without being overcome by it. I know my grief hasn't run its course, so I will be keeping this close. Honestly, even if you haven't experienced miscarriage, this book has a lot of great things to say about grief in general, so if someone you know has gone through it and you're looking for that perspective, I recommend it for that as well.
April 12, 2018
Adriel's book is powerful and tough. It is convicting and sweet, like holding hands with a friend. This book speaks to the grief, the loss, the doubt, the hurt of losing a baby from Adriel's personal experience of 3 miscarriages, as well as the survey responses she collected from hundreds of women. As someone who has walked this road myself, I didn't really expect to find *my voice* represented in these pages, but nevertheless, I found myself here, reliving some of the pain and grief of my own miscarriage, as well as the anxiety I faced afterward when I got pregnant again.
Not that I would wish this pain on anyone, ever, but if you are walking this road or know someone who is, this is a beautiful and compassionate way to process your grief, and comes with some incredible pre-order bonuses for those who order before release day (journal, audio meditations, grief coloring pages).
Not that I would wish this pain on anyone, ever, but if you are walking this road or know someone who is, this is a beautiful and compassionate way to process your grief, and comes with some incredible pre-order bonuses for those who order before release day (journal, audio meditations, grief coloring pages).
June 4, 2018
This book was very well written, especially about such a difficult topic. The author touches on topics such as grief, loss and doubt, from her own experience with 3 consecutive miscarriages, along with stories from other women. She also collected survey responses from hundreds of women who have been in similar situations, which adds a whole other level to this book. I think this is an excellent book for any women who has or is going through something similar. Our society often make women feel ashamed about miscarriage and loss, which is ridiculous, and it is certainly a topic that needs to be addressed and talked about much more openly and without any shame.
Thank you to the publisher, Baker Books, for sending me a review copy of this book.
Thank you to the publisher, Baker Books, for sending me a review copy of this book.
November 29, 2025
Shout out to Julie for this gift! ❤️ really loved how Adriel used her and many other women’s stories to show the variety of experiences and feelings surrounding miscarriage. Then she puts those against scripture and helps readers discern what thoughts are simply part of grief and what are actually lies creeping in. Great book!
November 5, 2019
This is an incredible book that every Christian should read (even if you haven't experienced a miscarriage). This book brought healing to my soul that I didn't even know I needed years after out miscarriage. Beautifully written and theologically sound.
May 16, 2018
“My body was a tomb and I hated it.”
“Grace Like Scarlett” is Adriel Booker‘s memoir of miscarriage, grief and hope. In her own words, she has six children, but only three sit at her dinner table. After a challenging second birth in which doctor’s falsely diagnosed her child in utero with down-syndrome, she experienced three miscarriages. Having staggered through inexpressible grief and a voyage of faith, Adriel Booker has graciously emptied her experience into print for others to journey with her through the pain of miscarriage and loss, the complex emotions of grief, and the promise of hope.
Booker’s book is a labor of love. Statistics show that between one in 6 and one in 4 pregnancies end in loss. For the unfortunately common reality of miscarriage in today’s culture as well as the intimate nature and unfortunate taboo surrounding the loss of a baby, “Grace Like Scarlett” is a rare volume; not only in its willingness to discuss bluntly the nature of miscarriage and grief, but to expose one’s own uncomfortable experiences and the long road of grief and mourning. For those who have been blindsided by miscarriage or loss, or have loved ones floundering in the aftermath of losing a child, this work offers a perspective of a fellow sojourner farther down the path of healing.
Booker’s desire is that this book would serve as a guide for women and their families to process the experience of miscarriage and think through the natural big-questions about God and life that follow. She also invites those who are grieving to participate in some helpful exercises and thought discussions which can serve as catalysts of processing and moving down the path towards hope.
Not only is Adriel Booker gifting women with a rare and necessary resource for the care of women and families in the church, she is a remarkable author. The impact of this book is expounded by her use of words.
Consider this following quote:
Tucked away in the tiny stall under the stairs where monks had once hushed their way to vespers and lonely rooms for solitary study and quiet communion with the God of hidden places, I ruptured the peace with groans and flailing. Within seconds, two of my brand-new friends were stuffed into the stall along with me while I wailed that I was having a miscarriage.
No, no, no, no, no …. I can’t remember saying much of anything else. I wanted to rage against the darkness around me–that, I remember vividly. If I could have torn down those ancient stone walls or ripped the giant support beams out of the ceiling with my trembling fingers, I would have.
For the first time I understood the passages in the Old Testament that speaks of mourners tearing their clothes and rubbing themselves in ashes–that sort of expression would have felt entirely appropriate as an external outworking of my internal anguish and lament. I distinctly remember wanting to tear my clothes off and throw myself into a fetal position on the floor.
During the thirty-minute car ride, I tried to rationalize what was happening (This is common, a little spotting is no big deal, it’s the hormonal fluctuation as I change trimesters), but I couldn’t deny that for several days I had felt much more “normal” than I had before the trip. Where was the mild undercurrent of nausea? Where was the debilitating fatigue I had experienced for weeks? Why were my breasts no longer tender? Why did my fleshy belly feel less swollen and more “squishy” during the last few days?
The truth is, I didn’t want to know the answers to those questions. If my worst fear was materializing, I wanted to deny it until I was home with my family. I wanted to stay in the Tuscan dreamland where everything hummed with the illusion of perfection.
But the other truth is, when you’ve lost a baby before, no amount of logic can shoo away the fear when the first sign of death creeps gingerly into your underpants. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. Not while I’m a world away from my family. Not during my Tuscan Dream.
The dream, it seemed, was hemorrhaging.
What a description.
This work is for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child, particularly through miscarriage, and is looking for a companion for the road ahead. I also benefited greatly from this book in diving into someone else’s experience, wanting to understand the experience of others to be able to support them the best I can. Not everyone’s experience will be like Adriel Booker, most people have never even been to the Italian Peninsula, but it can still be helpful in having considered one person’s experience of a reticent reality for many.
Even for myself in reading this book, I was excited to read it, but thought of myself more as a spectator in an experience which was foreign to me, recognizing that I am not physically capable of having a miscarriage as well as not having experienced a miscarriage in my home.
But as I started reading, I was hit with a wave of emotion thinking back to my childhood, and how in between myself and my next sister, Nadia, my parents lost two children. Of course at that time I was little, but this book got me thinking about my own experience and life. Now that I am entering into my late-twenties, what would life have looked like if I had those two siblings? Did I have another brother?
I called my parents the next day and asked them about their experiences, and I was shocked to see that the emotion of grief was still there, over twenty years later. This book will inevitably be a good catalysts for many conversations which are long overdue in families of people still hurting.
As a final comment, I wonder how potentially influential in scope Booker was intending to be when she started her manuscript. While focusing in on grieving after miscarriage, I was surprised how often the content of this book drifted towards theology and particularly, theodicy, the justification of God in the occurrence of evil.
Now in the occurrence of suffering and loss such as miscarriage, it is only natural that one would start to ask big questions about the meaning of life and the connection between a God (if he exists) and your experience. But Booker does not shy away from addressing these problems head on and in a way which I wonder if she was originally intending.
This book is very much a theology book by a theologian.
Just consider the following quote:
Suffering exists, but not because it’s God’s intention or will for our lives. It exists because he created us with the capacity to love, and love always requires free will-it cannot be forced. With humanity’s free will came the wonderful, awful ability to rebel against Love. Our rebellion in the garden set the world in motion toward suffering, and it still spins today, leaving brokenness in its wake. (46)
In this one statement there are huge doctrinal implications for how you not only understand the relationship between God and a miscarriage, but the foundation of a whole Christian worldview.
This points to two inevitable realities.
First, there is a sense in which life is a litmus test for theological belief, one’s experience inevitably will impact what you belief. Since the Bible is God’s revelation to humanity, it must be able to take into account our experiences. Most of the time, our understanding of revelation is deficient whenever it struggles to account for our situations, but every person has to decide at what point does either our experience or revelation become the ultimate authority in determining what is true.
Second, our ability to process our experiences ultimately leads back to what we believe to be true. How one processes a horrific event like a miscarriage is ultimately dependent upon what you believe about God, life, the purpose of existence, the future of all things. For Christians then, it is important for us to consider our beliefs before the storms of life come, so that we are not trying to find security when everything we know is falling apart around us.
Now in writing a book review, I am not going to enter into an critical analysis of some of the theological conclusions drawn from the author, and I respect her work and experience enough to recommend it to others in spite of some disagreements. But I will call for those who read this book to discernment and for those who also recommend this book to read it first to see where there might be potential disagreement.
We know ultimately, in the sadness of miscarriages to many other areas of life, all of these things lead back to the big questions which life does not seem to give easy answers. How you think through the occurrence of any type of suffering leads back to questions about God. Thankfully, as Adriel Booker concludes this work, we have a God who “is in the business of tear-wiping.”
I received this book from Baker Books in exchange for my honest review.
“Grace Like Scarlett” is Adriel Booker‘s memoir of miscarriage, grief and hope. In her own words, she has six children, but only three sit at her dinner table. After a challenging second birth in which doctor’s falsely diagnosed her child in utero with down-syndrome, she experienced three miscarriages. Having staggered through inexpressible grief and a voyage of faith, Adriel Booker has graciously emptied her experience into print for others to journey with her through the pain of miscarriage and loss, the complex emotions of grief, and the promise of hope.
Booker’s book is a labor of love. Statistics show that between one in 6 and one in 4 pregnancies end in loss. For the unfortunately common reality of miscarriage in today’s culture as well as the intimate nature and unfortunate taboo surrounding the loss of a baby, “Grace Like Scarlett” is a rare volume; not only in its willingness to discuss bluntly the nature of miscarriage and grief, but to expose one’s own uncomfortable experiences and the long road of grief and mourning. For those who have been blindsided by miscarriage or loss, or have loved ones floundering in the aftermath of losing a child, this work offers a perspective of a fellow sojourner farther down the path of healing.
Booker’s desire is that this book would serve as a guide for women and their families to process the experience of miscarriage and think through the natural big-questions about God and life that follow. She also invites those who are grieving to participate in some helpful exercises and thought discussions which can serve as catalysts of processing and moving down the path towards hope.
Not only is Adriel Booker gifting women with a rare and necessary resource for the care of women and families in the church, she is a remarkable author. The impact of this book is expounded by her use of words.
Consider this following quote:
Tucked away in the tiny stall under the stairs where monks had once hushed their way to vespers and lonely rooms for solitary study and quiet communion with the God of hidden places, I ruptured the peace with groans and flailing. Within seconds, two of my brand-new friends were stuffed into the stall along with me while I wailed that I was having a miscarriage.
No, no, no, no, no …. I can’t remember saying much of anything else. I wanted to rage against the darkness around me–that, I remember vividly. If I could have torn down those ancient stone walls or ripped the giant support beams out of the ceiling with my trembling fingers, I would have.
For the first time I understood the passages in the Old Testament that speaks of mourners tearing their clothes and rubbing themselves in ashes–that sort of expression would have felt entirely appropriate as an external outworking of my internal anguish and lament. I distinctly remember wanting to tear my clothes off and throw myself into a fetal position on the floor.
During the thirty-minute car ride, I tried to rationalize what was happening (This is common, a little spotting is no big deal, it’s the hormonal fluctuation as I change trimesters), but I couldn’t deny that for several days I had felt much more “normal” than I had before the trip. Where was the mild undercurrent of nausea? Where was the debilitating fatigue I had experienced for weeks? Why were my breasts no longer tender? Why did my fleshy belly feel less swollen and more “squishy” during the last few days?
The truth is, I didn’t want to know the answers to those questions. If my worst fear was materializing, I wanted to deny it until I was home with my family. I wanted to stay in the Tuscan dreamland where everything hummed with the illusion of perfection.
But the other truth is, when you’ve lost a baby before, no amount of logic can shoo away the fear when the first sign of death creeps gingerly into your underpants. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. Not while I’m a world away from my family. Not during my Tuscan Dream.
The dream, it seemed, was hemorrhaging.
What a description.
This work is for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child, particularly through miscarriage, and is looking for a companion for the road ahead. I also benefited greatly from this book in diving into someone else’s experience, wanting to understand the experience of others to be able to support them the best I can. Not everyone’s experience will be like Adriel Booker, most people have never even been to the Italian Peninsula, but it can still be helpful in having considered one person’s experience of a reticent reality for many.
Even for myself in reading this book, I was excited to read it, but thought of myself more as a spectator in an experience which was foreign to me, recognizing that I am not physically capable of having a miscarriage as well as not having experienced a miscarriage in my home.
But as I started reading, I was hit with a wave of emotion thinking back to my childhood, and how in between myself and my next sister, Nadia, my parents lost two children. Of course at that time I was little, but this book got me thinking about my own experience and life. Now that I am entering into my late-twenties, what would life have looked like if I had those two siblings? Did I have another brother?
I called my parents the next day and asked them about their experiences, and I was shocked to see that the emotion of grief was still there, over twenty years later. This book will inevitably be a good catalysts for many conversations which are long overdue in families of people still hurting.
As a final comment, I wonder how potentially influential in scope Booker was intending to be when she started her manuscript. While focusing in on grieving after miscarriage, I was surprised how often the content of this book drifted towards theology and particularly, theodicy, the justification of God in the occurrence of evil.
Now in the occurrence of suffering and loss such as miscarriage, it is only natural that one would start to ask big questions about the meaning of life and the connection between a God (if he exists) and your experience. But Booker does not shy away from addressing these problems head on and in a way which I wonder if she was originally intending.
This book is very much a theology book by a theologian.
Just consider the following quote:
Suffering exists, but not because it’s God’s intention or will for our lives. It exists because he created us with the capacity to love, and love always requires free will-it cannot be forced. With humanity’s free will came the wonderful, awful ability to rebel against Love. Our rebellion in the garden set the world in motion toward suffering, and it still spins today, leaving brokenness in its wake. (46)
In this one statement there are huge doctrinal implications for how you not only understand the relationship between God and a miscarriage, but the foundation of a whole Christian worldview.
This points to two inevitable realities.
First, there is a sense in which life is a litmus test for theological belief, one’s experience inevitably will impact what you belief. Since the Bible is God’s revelation to humanity, it must be able to take into account our experiences. Most of the time, our understanding of revelation is deficient whenever it struggles to account for our situations, but every person has to decide at what point does either our experience or revelation become the ultimate authority in determining what is true.
Second, our ability to process our experiences ultimately leads back to what we believe to be true. How one processes a horrific event like a miscarriage is ultimately dependent upon what you believe about God, life, the purpose of existence, the future of all things. For Christians then, it is important for us to consider our beliefs before the storms of life come, so that we are not trying to find security when everything we know is falling apart around us.
Now in writing a book review, I am not going to enter into an critical analysis of some of the theological conclusions drawn from the author, and I respect her work and experience enough to recommend it to others in spite of some disagreements. But I will call for those who read this book to discernment and for those who also recommend this book to read it first to see where there might be potential disagreement.
We know ultimately, in the sadness of miscarriages to many other areas of life, all of these things lead back to the big questions which life does not seem to give easy answers. How you think through the occurrence of any type of suffering leads back to questions about God. Thankfully, as Adriel Booker concludes this work, we have a God who “is in the business of tear-wiping.”
I received this book from Baker Books in exchange for my honest review.
March 16, 2021
This book was filled with such GRACE and TRUTH, it was written tenderly by someone intimate with the topic and all that came with it. Adriel did an incredible job of being honest and raw about how horrible, awful and sucky miscarriage and loss is while also reminding the reader how GOOD and LOVING our God is in the midst of it all. She never shied away from the ugliness of miscarriage which I am so grateful for. Because that’s what it is. Ugly. And raw and awful. But she didn’t let the reader stay there, she gave biblical examples over and over again of how Jesus meets us in our grief, how He encourages us to move forward and how we can have hope despite it all. I loved that she had journal prompts at the end of each section so that you can process the content you just read. I also love the different appendices in the back, a few pages each on different subtopics. Grieving as a dad/husband, pregnancy after loss, how to help a friend who miscarried, how to help your children process, etc. She also provides additional resources.
One of my biggest takeaways from this book is how much it can be applied to grief in a general sense — not just for women who have miscarried. But for people who have gone through any kind of loss — kids, parents, siblings, relatives, friends. Experiencing tragic loss of a parent myself, I wish I would have had this book back then. I will be recommending this book to all the mamas I know with an angel baby.
One of my biggest takeaways from this book is how much it can be applied to grief in a general sense — not just for women who have miscarried. But for people who have gone through any kind of loss — kids, parents, siblings, relatives, friends. Experiencing tragic loss of a parent myself, I wish I would have had this book back then. I will be recommending this book to all the mamas I know with an angel baby.
September 28, 2023
This book has really been helping me to process my miscarriage. And the author has hit on all of the different emotions I have been feeling and questions I have inevitably been asking myself. The journal entry prompts have been pivotal in my steps towards healing. I highly recommend for those who have experienced pregnancy loss or for anyone helping support a friend of theirs, who has experienced it.
June 19, 2018
Over my 14 years of being a parent, I've suffered two miscarriages that fed me two completely different sides of what grief looked like and could look like. This book is filled with a river of hope and comfort as we wade through, even different seasons of our loss.
When my friend shared this book with me I knew I needed to own it and bought it the same day I heard about it.
As I read through the pages of this book I felt a connection, I think the kind of connection you can only feel as someone who has walked where you are, experiencing what you are, thinking the same thoughts and sorting out all of the same questions and emotions. And while I'm sure this is just something I'm personally taking away from the book, my oldest daughter's name is Grace and my 4th (technically my 6th) baby, my rainbow baby who would not be here today if not for my previous miscarriage, her name is Ruby - a name I had chosen several years in advance, somehow knowing that my last baby would be a girl.
It's little things like that, that I've clung to as I've weaved through my grief, grabbing onto God's promises of redemption and hope through pain and loss. Grace like Scarlett is game changer for books that touch on miscarriage. It feels like God was with Adriel as she wrote it, if that makes sense. It touched me in a way that no other book has on this topic. Sometimes, with tears streaming down my face with feeling my loss feel fresh again, but reading about such a hope, such an honesty, with so much permission to feel and continue to feel grief. My grief for my two babies has never left it. Some days the ache is more dull and some days it feels stronger and harder. But this book was such a witness to me and truly did remind me that God is right here by my side, holding my hand, taking in my sorrow with me, but gently reminding me that HE makes ALL things new again. That truth has many facets and it's one I cling to as I hold and kiss my babies and grieve the ones I lost.
I gave Grace like Scarlett 5 stars because I truly don't think there was anything to improve upon with the message of this book. For those walking through their grief, this will help with the hope of their loss.
When my friend shared this book with me I knew I needed to own it and bought it the same day I heard about it.
As I read through the pages of this book I felt a connection, I think the kind of connection you can only feel as someone who has walked where you are, experiencing what you are, thinking the same thoughts and sorting out all of the same questions and emotions. And while I'm sure this is just something I'm personally taking away from the book, my oldest daughter's name is Grace and my 4th (technically my 6th) baby, my rainbow baby who would not be here today if not for my previous miscarriage, her name is Ruby - a name I had chosen several years in advance, somehow knowing that my last baby would be a girl.
It's little things like that, that I've clung to as I've weaved through my grief, grabbing onto God's promises of redemption and hope through pain and loss. Grace like Scarlett is game changer for books that touch on miscarriage. It feels like God was with Adriel as she wrote it, if that makes sense. It touched me in a way that no other book has on this topic. Sometimes, with tears streaming down my face with feeling my loss feel fresh again, but reading about such a hope, such an honesty, with so much permission to feel and continue to feel grief. My grief for my two babies has never left it. Some days the ache is more dull and some days it feels stronger and harder. But this book was such a witness to me and truly did remind me that God is right here by my side, holding my hand, taking in my sorrow with me, but gently reminding me that HE makes ALL things new again. That truth has many facets and it's one I cling to as I hold and kiss my babies and grieve the ones I lost.
I gave Grace like Scarlett 5 stars because I truly don't think there was anything to improve upon with the message of this book. For those walking through their grief, this will help with the hope of their loss.
June 4, 2018
If only I'd had this book a decade ago when I lost my first baby. Or even the second time, just a few months ago, when I lost a second baby. Miscarriage is beyond hard, and it can be crippling. It's a unique sense of loss that those who haven't experienced just can't quite grasp. My friends would forget quickly that I was grieving a loss because that loss was intangible to everyone in the outside world. Grace Like Scarlett addresses the spectrum of complicated emotions that follow the loss of a pregnancy, and she does it with such grace and beauty that you feel as though you're curled up on the couch with a warm cup of tea and a friend who is willing to go deep with you without judgement. Adriel becomes that friend in this book, and she's a friend you'll grow to love. She validates your grief and myriad emotions while also filling you with Scripture and promises that remind you that you won't always be in this dark place. God is too good for that.
If you've lost a baby and you're struggling, read this book. If you have a friend who has lost a baby, buy her this book and get one for yourself. Learn, as Adriel did, how to find comfort in the sorrow and joy in the grace.
If you've lost a baby and you're struggling, read this book. If you have a friend who has lost a baby, buy her this book and get one for yourself. Learn, as Adriel did, how to find comfort in the sorrow and joy in the grace.
May 3, 2018
As a Doula I am always on the lookout for resources for pregnant women, and those who have gone through the heartache of loss. I am so so so grateful to Adriel for sharing her life and journey so that others will know that they are not alone, that it's ok to feel what you feel and that there is hope. About 1 in 4 women experience miscarriage so you will likely know someone who has gone through or will go through this loss. This book is for everyone. To have this tool, that so clearly and lovingly explores the hard things and speaks to your heart, is a gift to the world.
September 8, 2019
Not a book I thought I would have to read, but so glad that it was given to me at this time. This book validated my thoughts and put words to the thoughts that I couldn't find the words for.
I highly recommend this book and will reread this over and over again.
I highly recommend this book and will reread this over and over again.
June 12, 2018
Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss
Let me start by saying I recommend this book to everyone who has lost a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, failed adoption, etc. This book gives you permission to grieve while also pointing you very strongly to one who will comfort you in your grief. I need to start carrying sticky notes with me when I read books like this so I can mark sections that speak to me. So often when I go back to find them, I can't find them anymore or they don't stick out to me like they did.
There were just so many things in this book, I could resonate with. Having lost three babies as well, so much of what she said resonated with me. I loved that they named their babies, that they took the time and effort to find out whether they were boys or girls, and most of all, that they allowed themselves to grieve. So often miscarriage, especially in years gone by, has been such a hush hush thing. Nobody talks about, you are just supposed to go on with your life as though you just lost your favorite hanky or some other trivial treasure. But the truth is, you have lost your baby. No, you maybe didn't hold him or her in your arms, but you were holding them in your heart. Even if you only knew about it for a few days, dreams were being formed for that child. They changed your view of the future and when they slip away to Jesus, those dreams are lost and your life is once again altered. This doesn't even take into consideration the physical changes your body goes through in losing a baby, at least in miscarriage and stillbirth.
I just appreciated the way Adriel was honest about her own journey, her own losses. She grieves, but not as a mom without hope. She knows we were made for more and she knows her babies are already there, but the truth remains, as her husband said, "I don't want her to be in heaven...I don't want Jesus to look after her. I wanted us to look after her." I can so say Amen to those words.
We know there is a better place coming, but listen to what Adriel says we do in this "in between" time. "We participate in the new creation now by living into the kingdom, setting our eyes on things above and things around us, and allowing the Spirit to heal us as we work together to see the whole earth healed and reconciled unto Jesus. We embrace our belovedness and give ourselves to love others even while still being healed ourselves. We bake the casserole. We write the bereavement card. We open our doors. We share our stories...We worship while we weep. We rejoice while we give thanks....We dive deep and then resurface, transformed and transforming." And that's one piece I want to take with me. While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, reaching out to help the next hurting person helps us to heal. I fail in this too many times and it's something I want to work on.
At the end of the book, there are a couple appendixes. One is ways to remember your baby, one is ways to help a friend who is hurting and one is a letter to the dads (who are so often missed), written by Adriel's husband, and a couple other ones too.
At the end of every section, there is a journaling prompt too, to help you process even more fully. I didn't do this, but I can totally see how helpful it would be, especially with a recent loss.
I received this book from Baker Books and was not required to write a positive review.
Let me start by saying I recommend this book to everyone who has lost a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, failed adoption, etc. This book gives you permission to grieve while also pointing you very strongly to one who will comfort you in your grief. I need to start carrying sticky notes with me when I read books like this so I can mark sections that speak to me. So often when I go back to find them, I can't find them anymore or they don't stick out to me like they did.
There were just so many things in this book, I could resonate with. Having lost three babies as well, so much of what she said resonated with me. I loved that they named their babies, that they took the time and effort to find out whether they were boys or girls, and most of all, that they allowed themselves to grieve. So often miscarriage, especially in years gone by, has been such a hush hush thing. Nobody talks about, you are just supposed to go on with your life as though you just lost your favorite hanky or some other trivial treasure. But the truth is, you have lost your baby. No, you maybe didn't hold him or her in your arms, but you were holding them in your heart. Even if you only knew about it for a few days, dreams were being formed for that child. They changed your view of the future and when they slip away to Jesus, those dreams are lost and your life is once again altered. This doesn't even take into consideration the physical changes your body goes through in losing a baby, at least in miscarriage and stillbirth.
I just appreciated the way Adriel was honest about her own journey, her own losses. She grieves, but not as a mom without hope. She knows we were made for more and she knows her babies are already there, but the truth remains, as her husband said, "I don't want her to be in heaven...I don't want Jesus to look after her. I wanted us to look after her." I can so say Amen to those words.
We know there is a better place coming, but listen to what Adriel says we do in this "in between" time. "We participate in the new creation now by living into the kingdom, setting our eyes on things above and things around us, and allowing the Spirit to heal us as we work together to see the whole earth healed and reconciled unto Jesus. We embrace our belovedness and give ourselves to love others even while still being healed ourselves. We bake the casserole. We write the bereavement card. We open our doors. We share our stories...We worship while we weep. We rejoice while we give thanks....We dive deep and then resurface, transformed and transforming." And that's one piece I want to take with me. While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, reaching out to help the next hurting person helps us to heal. I fail in this too many times and it's something I want to work on.
At the end of the book, there are a couple appendixes. One is ways to remember your baby, one is ways to help a friend who is hurting and one is a letter to the dads (who are so often missed), written by Adriel's husband, and a couple other ones too.
At the end of every section, there is a journaling prompt too, to help you process even more fully. I didn't do this, but I can totally see how helpful it would be, especially with a recent loss.
I received this book from Baker Books and was not required to write a positive review.
December 11, 2022
I'm very grateful the author had the courage to write this, and the faith to return to the gospel again and again throughout its pages. After losing two little ones this year, her book has been instrumental in processing the loss and making time to grieve. (That sounds ridiculous or rote, but it's not the sort of thing I usually schedule: sitting quietly and being sad, or wrestling with God, or grappling for words to ground me).
The resources in the appendices are extremely helpful, and if you're a friend of someone going through a miscarriage, it's definitely worth checking out her website for those, even if you choose not to read the whole book.
I won't say it was "perfect" for me, personally - it's emotion-packed, and while I don't doubt the author's authenticity, I have sad days when I have sad days, and I don't when I don't. I don't want to drum up all the heavy feelings if they aren't already there. But the chapters are full of hope, whatever other emotions they contain. And for that reason alone, I can happily recommend the title.
The resources in the appendices are extremely helpful, and if you're a friend of someone going through a miscarriage, it's definitely worth checking out her website for those, even if you choose not to read the whole book.
I won't say it was "perfect" for me, personally - it's emotion-packed, and while I don't doubt the author's authenticity, I have sad days when I have sad days, and I don't when I don't. I don't want to drum up all the heavy feelings if they aren't already there. But the chapters are full of hope, whatever other emotions they contain. And for that reason alone, I can happily recommend the title.
March 28, 2025
Beautiful, compassionate, Christ-centered resource. Highly recommend for anyone who has experienced a miscarriage and possibly for anyone trying to walk with a friend who has experienced one. It was a little triggering to read one of her personal miscarriage labor stories the day after I had mine, but it was profoundly validating to not feel alone as I processed my fairly similar experience. I was shockingly under-prepared even by my doctor and none of my friends or family who have miscarried had ever shared that aspect of their trauma with me, so thank you, Adriel, for speaking up and being with me on this journey. She truly empathizes with the pain while also pointing to Jesus in a highly sensitive but truthful manner.
I personally disagree with the author's theological viewpoint on God's loving sovereignty or lack thereof, but it was a minor point. I still greatly appreciated this book.
I personally disagree with the author's theological viewpoint on God's loving sovereignty or lack thereof, but it was a minor point. I still greatly appreciated this book.
February 17, 2025
I appreciated her personal stories and, since we grieved very differently, it helped me to find more compassion for moms who experience loss in their own way. I did not agree with a lot of her theology, but I appreciate that she included her faith in her story. I really liked the appendixes at the end. They were full of good information. It should have been published as its own little handbook to give couples going through a loss. The most important thing I took from this book was that every mom grieves differently, and whether their feelings are right or wrong (like Job) my place is not to judge them behind their backs, but to pray and encourage with Scripture.
June 14, 2021
I usually take a while to read a book, but I needed this and really flew through it! If you’ve had a recent miscarriage, I highly recommend this book. Adriel Booker tells her story as she encourages you through your own, and she does it really well with her narrative writing, scriptural metaphors, and honest and raw emotions. This book helped me put words to my own feelings in so many ways-super thankful for this for sure!
January 6, 2023
I hope I never have to recommend this book to anyone but am very happy it was recommended to me, would recommend to any Christian (heavy theological book) woman going through this (mostly/particularly the first half of the book and appendices), stories and experiences were relatable and great reminders to give yourself grace and that grief plays out in so many ways, connected to some of the theology but not all and that’s okay
July 10, 2023
Not a book you plan on or want to read, but it was really helpful after miscarriage to know you’re not alone, to gain some perspective and to be reminded there is hope in the deep grief. I found this book to be equal parts theologically sound and relateable.
July 31, 2024
Highly recommend for any woman who's experienced a miscarriage, her partner, and anyone who is wanting to support a friend or loved one through this difficult life event. Very well written and not cheesy whatsoever!
June 19, 2020
I found Adriel's style of honest, unafraid writing to be helpful in processing my own feelings of grief. I disagreed with her theology on suffering, but was glad she spoke to the need to HAVE theology on suffering. I skimmed the parts I didn't agree with, but found the personal stories helpful.
December 26, 2018
I am astonished to see someone write so clearly of such great pain and great hope. As a woman who has experienced miscarriage the words she wrote clearly echoed the way God spoke to me right in the middle of it all. I would send this book to any grieving mom ( along with a note to say it's ok of you aren't ready to go there yet).
May 9, 2021
Adriel is a gentle and wise friend who will walk with you through spiritual questioning following the loss of your baby.
May 25, 2020
This is the best book I've ever written.
December 18, 2018
I absolutely adore this book. Adriel’s writing and compassion in Grace Like Scarlett wraps you up in a giant hug and gives the feeling of talking to a close friend. I wish I would have had a book like this to help through my first miscarriage but it was definitely a blessing for this most recent loss. I will recommend this to any of my friends and/or family who have the unfortunate experience of pregnancy loss.
August 2, 2018
Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don’t know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone.
With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious cliches and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for loved ones.
Out May 1, 2018
MY THOUGHTS:
I received this book in exchange for my honest review.
This is a topic that I’m more than familiar with. I’ve had six miscarriages throughout my marriage with the last one nearly killing me in 2008. At that time, there was very little out there on the topic like this book that would offer help and understanding with current up-to-date information to share.
So when I saw this listed with Baker Books, I had to get it for reviewing. After reading the book, I let it sit for a few days. There were many things that I didn’t agree with that the author shared but she was bang on for a lot more. Of course, how I handle my emotions and another would when it comes to loss, well we are all individuals. So with keeping that in mind, I would offer the following:
There is a strong Christian element in this book. Where the author makes assumptions that “your body betrayed you.., I would say the opposite. We miscarry for reasons, mainly physical. The pregnant body knows when things are just not right with a pregnancy and it is my belief, that the body rids itself of a pregnancy when whatever is wrong is critical. I had difficulty carrying a child, knew I’d have issues. Also, I have a special needs child, that my body did not reject because other than her disorder, there was nothing wrong with the pregnancy. Anything that came up, happened much later after Katie was born–things that we could deal with medically.
I think a woman’s body is an amazing device for reproduction, made in such a way to bring life into the world. Sometimes, this is not possible, but it doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with the woman. I strongly believe, that her purpose in life is not to be a mother but to be something else, perhaps, a doctor, researcher, best friend, good wife, lovely and fun auntie… whatever it is, not having children doesn’t mean she is less a woman.
The best advice I can offer anyone who knows of someone who’s suffered a miscarriage is to be compassionate but not patronizing, strong but not invasive. Time does heal, I would know.
The other thing I can say, is for the woman who’s suffered to be honest with herself… there will be pain and feelings of loss, so grieve, then take care of yourself. If you love children that much, then involve yourself with children’s groups– it does help. I opened a dance studio for over 22 years using my background, and I have “many children” now because of it.
Be a mentor. As a published author, I go to many places and talk to kids, share my Iggy Squiggles series with them and talk about writing. I have a ball, and yup, kids do say the funniest things.
Do not close yourself off. Get out in the sunshine and thank God you are alive every day, because life is very precious, even yours.
With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious cliches and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for loved ones.
Out May 1, 2018
MY THOUGHTS:
I received this book in exchange for my honest review.
This is a topic that I’m more than familiar with. I’ve had six miscarriages throughout my marriage with the last one nearly killing me in 2008. At that time, there was very little out there on the topic like this book that would offer help and understanding with current up-to-date information to share.
So when I saw this listed with Baker Books, I had to get it for reviewing. After reading the book, I let it sit for a few days. There were many things that I didn’t agree with that the author shared but she was bang on for a lot more. Of course, how I handle my emotions and another would when it comes to loss, well we are all individuals. So with keeping that in mind, I would offer the following:
There is a strong Christian element in this book. Where the author makes assumptions that “your body betrayed you.., I would say the opposite. We miscarry for reasons, mainly physical. The pregnant body knows when things are just not right with a pregnancy and it is my belief, that the body rids itself of a pregnancy when whatever is wrong is critical. I had difficulty carrying a child, knew I’d have issues. Also, I have a special needs child, that my body did not reject because other than her disorder, there was nothing wrong with the pregnancy. Anything that came up, happened much later after Katie was born–things that we could deal with medically.
I think a woman’s body is an amazing device for reproduction, made in such a way to bring life into the world. Sometimes, this is not possible, but it doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with the woman. I strongly believe, that her purpose in life is not to be a mother but to be something else, perhaps, a doctor, researcher, best friend, good wife, lovely and fun auntie… whatever it is, not having children doesn’t mean she is less a woman.
The best advice I can offer anyone who knows of someone who’s suffered a miscarriage is to be compassionate but not patronizing, strong but not invasive. Time does heal, I would know.
The other thing I can say, is for the woman who’s suffered to be honest with herself… there will be pain and feelings of loss, so grieve, then take care of yourself. If you love children that much, then involve yourself with children’s groups– it does help. I opened a dance studio for over 22 years using my background, and I have “many children” now because of it.
Be a mentor. As a published author, I go to many places and talk to kids, share my Iggy Squiggles series with them and talk about writing. I have a ball, and yup, kids do say the funniest things.
Do not close yourself off. Get out in the sunshine and thank God you are alive every day, because life is very precious, even yours.
April 30, 2018
I have never experienced a miscarriage; however, I have experienced the loss of a child. My daughter was born with a fatal condition (diagnosed after birth) and passed away when she was one month old. Grace Like Scarlett is one of those books that I wish I had had in my hands then to help me through the grieving and healing process because in this book the reader will find companionship, compassion, empathy, ways to navigate the depths of loss and the chaos of emotions, and ultimately, Jesus.
Initially I was eager to read Grace Like Scarlett because Adriel’s message and heart are similar to mine, and so I thought it would be a great resource to share with the women I long to serve. However, even now, 8 years since my loss, Adriel’s words ministered to me. In sharing many of the same emotions, struggles, and faith experiences acquired by leaning into God, I found a sister in someone who understands. Moreover, this book ministered to me in areas I didn’t even know had yet to be addressed in my healing process, and so this book is leading me into further healing and hope with Jesus.
No matter where you are in your journey of loss, grief, or healing, or how many days or years have passed, I recommend you read this book and when you do you'll find something in its pages that God wants to speak to your heart.
Even if the loss isn't yours personally, I still encourage you to read this book and become acquainted with the experiences someone you love might be having and find resources in it that will help you come alongside of them (the book includes a wonderful practical section at the end especially for this).
Adriel wrote Grace Like Scarlett from "the trenches" as she calls it and because of this her words have a validity and power that will speak profoundly to you and resonate with the reader. She doesn't sugar coat her stories of miscarrying her babies nor does she sugar coat her faith journey through it all. Her voice is real, authentic, and gentle.
Moreover, this book offers freedom from the secrecy, stigma, shame, and guilt surrounding loss and grief and creates space for questions, doubts, grace, and hope. You will feel welcomed with understanding arms (or learn how to be that person for someone else) as you hear Adriel's clear and compassionate voice that demonstrates the humble authority that comes from acquiring godly wisdom and personal experience.
Thank you Adriel for sharing your heart and Scarlett, Oliver, and Ruby with us and for writing this book to minister to the hearts of many.
(I received an advanced electronic copy as part of the launch team for Grace Like Scarlett).
Initially I was eager to read Grace Like Scarlett because Adriel’s message and heart are similar to mine, and so I thought it would be a great resource to share with the women I long to serve. However, even now, 8 years since my loss, Adriel’s words ministered to me. In sharing many of the same emotions, struggles, and faith experiences acquired by leaning into God, I found a sister in someone who understands. Moreover, this book ministered to me in areas I didn’t even know had yet to be addressed in my healing process, and so this book is leading me into further healing and hope with Jesus.
No matter where you are in your journey of loss, grief, or healing, or how many days or years have passed, I recommend you read this book and when you do you'll find something in its pages that God wants to speak to your heart.
Even if the loss isn't yours personally, I still encourage you to read this book and become acquainted with the experiences someone you love might be having and find resources in it that will help you come alongside of them (the book includes a wonderful practical section at the end especially for this).
Adriel wrote Grace Like Scarlett from "the trenches" as she calls it and because of this her words have a validity and power that will speak profoundly to you and resonate with the reader. She doesn't sugar coat her stories of miscarrying her babies nor does she sugar coat her faith journey through it all. Her voice is real, authentic, and gentle.
Moreover, this book offers freedom from the secrecy, stigma, shame, and guilt surrounding loss and grief and creates space for questions, doubts, grace, and hope. You will feel welcomed with understanding arms (or learn how to be that person for someone else) as you hear Adriel's clear and compassionate voice that demonstrates the humble authority that comes from acquiring godly wisdom and personal experience.
Thank you Adriel for sharing your heart and Scarlett, Oliver, and Ruby with us and for writing this book to minister to the hearts of many.
(I received an advanced electronic copy as part of the launch team for Grace Like Scarlett).
September 14, 2018
In the days following my miscarriage, several friends sent me links to people they’d found online who were writing about miscarriage. Adriel Booker was one of those people. Her words were like a lifeline to me. Not surprisingly, her book, Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss, felt the same.
In Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel weaves together her own story (of having three miscarriages) with those of other women who have suffered miscarriages. (Prior to writing Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel surveyed hundreds of other women who also endured miscarriages). Adriel then walks her readers through the grief journey. In her words, “Grief does not follow a blueprint. It minds no flowchart. It doesn’t tick off boxes, it will not be contained in your favorite list app, and it most certainly won’t stay put on the calendar. Grief is wild like the sea, but it doesn’t need to destroy us.”
Grace Like Scarlett is vulnerable but it’s also hopeful. Throughout it, her focus remains on Jesus. According to Adriel, “Even when I felt like I was groping in the dark, I somehow knew there was a God acquainted with pain who stayed with me in mine.” She goes on to explain, “Grief invites us to a liminal space – a place to hold on to the comfort and presence of God while suspended between who you are and who you’re becoming. Liminal spaces feel disorienting because they are.”
Throughout Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel’s vulnerability invites her readers to be vulnerable (and honest) about their own pain. According to her, “Naming our suffering does not mean becoming defined by it. Rather, it means honestly acknowledging our need in the presence of Jesus. Our humility frees us to receive his grace. It’s his beauty for our ashes – the great exchange, God’s answer to our pain.”
Grace Like Scarlett also invites readers to process their own pain and discover the hope of Christ through a series of journal prompts that Adriel includes throughout the book. What’re more, it invites spouses to do the same. The end of the book includes a helpful letter from Adriel’s husband addressed to grieving dads that acknowledges their pain and gives them tools for walking through it.
Without a doubt, Grace Like Scarlett is a book that will be a lifeline to any woman who’s endured a miscarriage. But more than that, it's a vulnerable exploration of grief that anyone who’s grieving will find helpful.
*******************************************************
Disclosure: I received a free copy of Grace Like Scarlett from Baker Books in exchange for a fair and honest review.
In Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel weaves together her own story (of having three miscarriages) with those of other women who have suffered miscarriages. (Prior to writing Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel surveyed hundreds of other women who also endured miscarriages). Adriel then walks her readers through the grief journey. In her words, “Grief does not follow a blueprint. It minds no flowchart. It doesn’t tick off boxes, it will not be contained in your favorite list app, and it most certainly won’t stay put on the calendar. Grief is wild like the sea, but it doesn’t need to destroy us.”
Grace Like Scarlett is vulnerable but it’s also hopeful. Throughout it, her focus remains on Jesus. According to Adriel, “Even when I felt like I was groping in the dark, I somehow knew there was a God acquainted with pain who stayed with me in mine.” She goes on to explain, “Grief invites us to a liminal space – a place to hold on to the comfort and presence of God while suspended between who you are and who you’re becoming. Liminal spaces feel disorienting because they are.”
Throughout Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel’s vulnerability invites her readers to be vulnerable (and honest) about their own pain. According to her, “Naming our suffering does not mean becoming defined by it. Rather, it means honestly acknowledging our need in the presence of Jesus. Our humility frees us to receive his grace. It’s his beauty for our ashes – the great exchange, God’s answer to our pain.”
Grace Like Scarlett also invites readers to process their own pain and discover the hope of Christ through a series of journal prompts that Adriel includes throughout the book. What’re more, it invites spouses to do the same. The end of the book includes a helpful letter from Adriel’s husband addressed to grieving dads that acknowledges their pain and gives them tools for walking through it.
Without a doubt, Grace Like Scarlett is a book that will be a lifeline to any woman who’s endured a miscarriage. But more than that, it's a vulnerable exploration of grief that anyone who’s grieving will find helpful.
*******************************************************
Disclosure: I received a free copy of Grace Like Scarlett from Baker Books in exchange for a fair and honest review.
May 10, 2018
Grace Like Scarlett is a must-read for anyone who has experienced any kind of pregnancy loss. Though I have not experienced a miscarriage myself, her journey through grief resonated with my own grief journey. I found her honesty refreshing and she did a great job validating the various confusing feelings that can come after the death of a loved one. This book also has a lot of practical tools in the appendix section of the back of the book that would be very helpful in navigating miscarriage as a family. I would recommend this to anyone who has personally experienced pregnancy loss or are close to someone who has.
January 16, 2022
Highly recommend for anyone trying to process the grief of losing a baby before you've even met them. I've found it really helpful, from Adriel's beautiful way with words, to her beautiful relationship with Jesus. She honours the complexity of suffering, never belittling the human experience by offering pat answers or simplifying the grief.
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