How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You're Left Behind

by Steve Levy, Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman

Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.

And that means one investment opportunities!

For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane , helpfully offer both illumination and What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon?

Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, How to Profit From the Coming Rapture instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.

Genres: Humor, Religion, Fiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published October 17, 2008

Reviews

[Mykle]

Oh, the probletunities!

[Ken McDouall · Rating 3 out of 5]

A unique guide to financial security during the End Times! From the Rapture all the way through the Battle of Armageddon to the Great White Throne Judgment, this book tells you where to invest and what businesses to start during the overwhelming waves of destruction, violence, starvation, geological cataclysm, and extinction. Actually, the joke wears rather thin about halfway through the book, but it's good for some chuckles. The authors researched numerous sources on interpretations of "end times" theology, and found no two sources could agree on specifics of the events and timetables--though all agree that the Bible provides an unerring and literal presentation of these events! They decided to just follow the "Left Behind" (Tim LaHaye) version, since it's by far the most popular.

[Doug · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. Just liked, though. I am totally on board for a little mocking of people who take my holy book of choice and make a mess of it. However, while I found myself laughing plenty when I started the book, about half way through I started thinking, "Okay, it's the same dozen jokes over and over. They're funny jokes, but they're still basically the same ones!" In fact, I didn't quite finish the book because of this. Still, who knows, maybe after a break, I'll return to it and finish it off.

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good stuff unless you either are ultra-Evangelical Christian or humorless.

Bill

[Laura McGaha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The brilliance of this book is that being raised in a Rapture Cult is not required to enjoy the snark. Using the Bible (as viewed through a "Fundamentalist Dispensationalist Premillennialist Evangelical Christian" lens), the authors walk the reader through each step of the coming Rapture and Tribulation (seal judgments, trumpet judgments, bowl judgments, etc.) - and provide business ideas and money-making schemes for each stage.

If you've never been to church a day in your life, you'll finish the book with an understanding of how/why fundamental Christians can so easily be scammed into living a life of fear and judgment. And if you DID spend a good chunk of your childhood singing "I Wish We'd All Been Ready" and attending "watch nights" at your church on New Year's Eve viewing movies viewing movies such as "A Thief in the Night" and "A Distant Thunder," you'll have some true, laugh out-loud moments.

[RebL · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't remember how I became aware of this book, but the title was completely intriguing to me so I found it on Amazon Marketplace cheap (neither library I patronize had it in the collection).

What we have here is a satire of financial advise books, wrapped in what turned out to be a pretty good breakdown of the timeline laid out in the Book of Revelation. Even as a person raised in the church, I have always found Revelation to be an unreadable fever dream of dense tediousness. But, split it all out into discrete chapters and add in a soupçon of satirical financial advice along with each seal and sign and battle: now it's a comprehensible fever dream of dense tediousness.

OK yeah I get the gag gets tired after a while, but ultimately I loved it.

[Sequeira Diogo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finance esotérica. Todavia, é um livro divertido que gostei bastante de ler!

Pergunto-me: como é que depois gastamos o dinheiro se a eternidade é passada a cantar a glória de Deus nos coros à volta do trono na nova Jerusalém?

[Robert]

Just started

[Will Boncher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm fully prepared for the rapture. And now know what it entails.