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Lush: A Memoir
"For those of us wrestling with demons—and who isn't?—Lush is a solace and as powerful as red wine." —Claire Dederer, bestselling author of Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning
When Loose Girl author Kerry Cohen reached her early 40s, she realized she had a drinking problem. Yes, she could get up on time, bring her kids to school, make dinner, chat with friends, and all around have a normal day, but, throughout it all, Kerry was waiting for her five o'clock glass of wine. Maybe two glasses. Maybe a bottle. Just enough to blur the edges of her life that had become a monotony of vacuuming, carpooling, and disagreements with her husband. Kerry had replaced one addiction with another, instead of seeking sex she was seeking merlot. Instead of intimacy, she craved the fuzziness of a nice buzz.
What she also realized was: she wasn't the only one.
Lush is a gripping memoir that examines Kerry's struggle with alcohol, a struggle that a rising number of middle-aged women are facing today as alcohol dependency amongst females drastically increases. A wonderfully poignant and relatable follow up to her memoir Loose Girl, Lush follows Kerry as she attempts to rediscover the awe in her life, leaving past mistakes, regrets, and the bottle behind.
When Loose Girl author Kerry Cohen reached her early 40s, she realized she had a drinking problem. Yes, she could get up on time, bring her kids to school, make dinner, chat with friends, and all around have a normal day, but, throughout it all, Kerry was waiting for her five o'clock glass of wine. Maybe two glasses. Maybe a bottle. Just enough to blur the edges of her life that had become a monotony of vacuuming, carpooling, and disagreements with her husband. Kerry had replaced one addiction with another, instead of seeking sex she was seeking merlot. Instead of intimacy, she craved the fuzziness of a nice buzz.
What she also realized was: she wasn't the only one.
Lush is a gripping memoir that examines Kerry's struggle with alcohol, a struggle that a rising number of middle-aged women are facing today as alcohol dependency amongst females drastically increases. A wonderfully poignant and relatable follow up to her memoir Loose Girl, Lush follows Kerry as she attempts to rediscover the awe in her life, leaving past mistakes, regrets, and the bottle behind.
240 pages, Paperback
First published July 17, 2018
65 people are currently reading
437 people want to read
About the author
Kerry Cohen
21 books269 followersKerry Cohen is the author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity; Seeing Ezra: A Mother’s Story of Autism, Unconditional Love, and The Meaning of Normal; Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity; as well as three young adult novels – Easy; The Good Girl; and It’s Not You, It’s Me. Her essays have been featured in The New York Times' "Modern Love" series, The Washington Post, Brevity, Literary Mama, and many other journals and anthologies.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
May 14, 2024
It’s hard to rate a memoir like this, but I really liked the author and her feisty personality. No one should tell her what to do and she discovered her own way out of addiction. I have respect for that. What I also liked was how she underlined that every story has two sides, and she made that clear when she described her experiences of a relationship.
August 23, 2018
A different way of dealing with addiction by Kerry Cohen. She shares her issues with love, sex, smoking, and alcohol addictions and how they affected her life. What she did after two marriages and divorces to make lasting changes to keep problems from being such a negative impact on her career and personal life.
Mentions (MM) or Moderation Management, a different option that I’d never heard of before the book and found rather interesting, being an adult child and grandchild of alcoholics and having many others among the relatives. I’ve grown up knowing and learning about different types of 'cures', things in that category that the drinker and those around them use to seek relief, like AA, Alanon, rehab, therapy, Antabuse medications, cold turkey, etc.
It was interesting to learn about this different method that the author used, and hear about her particular path, especially as she herself counsels others and has been in counseling too. I’m kind of curious now to check out some of her other books she’s written, like “Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity”, and “Seeing Ezra: A Mother’s Story of Autism...”. For those with an interest in addiction, alcoholism and recovery. An advance digital copy was provided by NetGalley and author Kerry Cohen for my fair review.
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Pub date: July 17, 2018
My Bookzone blog on Wordpress: https://wordpress.com/post/bookblog20...
Mentions (MM) or Moderation Management, a different option that I’d never heard of before the book and found rather interesting, being an adult child and grandchild of alcoholics and having many others among the relatives. I’ve grown up knowing and learning about different types of 'cures', things in that category that the drinker and those around them use to seek relief, like AA, Alanon, rehab, therapy, Antabuse medications, cold turkey, etc.
It was interesting to learn about this different method that the author used, and hear about her particular path, especially as she herself counsels others and has been in counseling too. I’m kind of curious now to check out some of her other books she’s written, like “Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity”, and “Seeing Ezra: A Mother’s Story of Autism...”. For those with an interest in addiction, alcoholism and recovery. An advance digital copy was provided by NetGalley and author Kerry Cohen for my fair review.
Sourcebooks
Pub date: July 17, 2018
My Bookzone blog on Wordpress: https://wordpress.com/post/bookblog20...
December 27, 2018
Kerry Cohen’s memoir is brutally honest and without apology, which is refreshing. However her tone was so flippant and casual that I found myself really disliking her. Kerry admits that she suffered from low self esteem and sought salvation in forms of male approval/ desire. Eventually this became an addiction which ultimately lead to poor choices, heartbreak and pain. Alcohol, preferably wine became her numbing agent until she woke up one day to discover the wine was controlling her life.
I'm sure this is the case for many and it’s heartbreaking but I still could not muster sympathy for Kerry Cohen although my heart ached for her children. I was disappointed to read that during these years of total alcohol dependency, Cohen held a private practice as a therapist and saw/ treated clients. While Kerry maintains she was able to remain in control of her professional life, this seemed dubious and inexcusable.
For those reasons alone I can not recommend this book. I’m sure others will view Kerry’s situation differently and applaud her honesty and bravery in fighting her demons.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sharing an early review copy with me.
I'm sure this is the case for many and it’s heartbreaking but I still could not muster sympathy for Kerry Cohen although my heart ached for her children. I was disappointed to read that during these years of total alcohol dependency, Cohen held a private practice as a therapist and saw/ treated clients. While Kerry maintains she was able to remain in control of her professional life, this seemed dubious and inexcusable.
For those reasons alone I can not recommend this book. I’m sure others will view Kerry’s situation differently and applaud her honesty and bravery in fighting her demons.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for sharing an early review copy with me.
November 23, 2018
This book gives me hope, because if this can get published then there's hope for me.
August 30, 2018
This book is about an important topic--the unrealistic expectations that society places on women as mothers and humans, and the ones that mothers place on themselves. But the topic is not the book, and this book didn't work for me. It was repetitive (she drank, she smoked, she screwed, she fought with her guy) and so much of it was recounted, rather than told as a compelling story. Good memoir requires a balance of tone, some self deprecation, and a lot of insight. This book lacked all those. The story of a woman who develops a drinking problem in midlife that complicates and is complicated by unhealthy relationships with men isn't enough to carry the book. And while it might feel refreshing that the ending bucks the tidy recovery narrative, there is embracing messiness and there is simply stopping; this book does the latter.
September 8, 2018
Phew...
I wanted to get through the book just because I bought it. I think it’s really courageous to write about one’s greatest mistakes and dire faults but this was hard to read. It felt like the author wrote this book to convince herself that while she had a sex addiction, she didn’t have a drinking addiction simply because she didn’t drink the way a regular alcoholic drinks. Alcoholism still seems to have a huge stigma around it. I understand and emplore people to find their own path to recovery but it just felt like this whole book was designed to convince herself and others that what she was doing was working. I don’t know if because she is a therapist it’s hard to see her lack of true humility and understanding of what role she played in her life and others. I mean it was there, in small spurts but it always came back around to her. It was just tough to read! It was brave to publish and it seems the backlash was expected when she wrote it. So kudos on that I guess. It just seems exhausting constantly monitoring something like that just because alcohol plays such an important role in ones life. It was compared to sex and love, a process addiction, which needs to be moderated in order to have a fulfilled life. Is that required with alcohol too? Let me desperately try to control this thing because life with out seems less? Sounds like addictive thinking to me but to each their own. Sometimes people take way longer to figure it out than others.
I wanted to get through the book just because I bought it. I think it’s really courageous to write about one’s greatest mistakes and dire faults but this was hard to read. It felt like the author wrote this book to convince herself that while she had a sex addiction, she didn’t have a drinking addiction simply because she didn’t drink the way a regular alcoholic drinks. Alcoholism still seems to have a huge stigma around it. I understand and emplore people to find their own path to recovery but it just felt like this whole book was designed to convince herself and others that what she was doing was working. I don’t know if because she is a therapist it’s hard to see her lack of true humility and understanding of what role she played in her life and others. I mean it was there, in small spurts but it always came back around to her. It was just tough to read! It was brave to publish and it seems the backlash was expected when she wrote it. So kudos on that I guess. It just seems exhausting constantly monitoring something like that just because alcohol plays such an important role in ones life. It was compared to sex and love, a process addiction, which needs to be moderated in order to have a fulfilled life. Is that required with alcohol too? Let me desperately try to control this thing because life with out seems less? Sounds like addictive thinking to me but to each their own. Sometimes people take way longer to figure it out than others.
June 15, 2019
This is a poorly written book by someone who works as an MFA instructor. If I needed any more proof MFAs are overrated, this is it.
A few pages into the book I was so taken aback by the poor writing I asked aloud "who published this?" I looked at the spine and did not recognize the house. There are too many exclamation points (isn't one too many?) and the author repeats phrases using italics so WE GET THE POINT that this is supposed to be shocking. Good writing conveys that to the reader without use of italics or exclamation points. That's pre-MFA writing advice.
If you like books with no resolution by people who have not recovered but still feel they have the right to preach about how others should handle their addictions, this is the book for you.
The main character is unlikeable and mired in the depths of her addiction which she insists she doesn't have. She calls the book Lush, puts a wine glass on the front and proceeds to explain this is not a memoir about alcoholism (she only has a drinking problem) but about her primary addiction of love and sex.
She explains that her editor refused to accept another book about her love and sex addiction (because she'd already written one - Loose Girl - and she should've resolved it by now). "No one wants to read about a grown woman's sexual exploits," the editor told her. Rather than take professional advice, she covertly addresses the topic under the guise of an alcoholism memoir (which this is not). What a mess - both the author and the writing.
A few pages into the book I was so taken aback by the poor writing I asked aloud "who published this?" I looked at the spine and did not recognize the house. There are too many exclamation points (isn't one too many?) and the author repeats phrases using italics so WE GET THE POINT that this is supposed to be shocking. Good writing conveys that to the reader without use of italics or exclamation points. That's pre-MFA writing advice.
If you like books with no resolution by people who have not recovered but still feel they have the right to preach about how others should handle their addictions, this is the book for you.
The main character is unlikeable and mired in the depths of her addiction which she insists she doesn't have. She calls the book Lush, puts a wine glass on the front and proceeds to explain this is not a memoir about alcoholism (she only has a drinking problem) but about her primary addiction of love and sex.
She explains that her editor refused to accept another book about her love and sex addiction (because she'd already written one - Loose Girl - and she should've resolved it by now). "No one wants to read about a grown woman's sexual exploits," the editor told her. Rather than take professional advice, she covertly addresses the topic under the guise of an alcoholism memoir (which this is not). What a mess - both the author and the writing.
April 4, 2018
While the years of misdle-age drinking the author chrinicles are eye-opening, not enough time has passed for author to make a convincing argument that she can continue to moderate drinking, especially since she has ongoing issues with other addictions. As a reader I was left hanging feeling the book was rushed out the door to add another memoir to her bio, rather than offering a real sense she has a gaind realistic perspective on alcohol and her othher addictive behaviors, despite years in counseling and counseling others herself.
August 28, 2018
I wasn't going to write a review as I didn't feel it was worthy of a review. I tossed it in the used book pile at the local library to be sold or given away.
Personally, I like neither wine, nor whine. But if I do have wine, I prefer it with cheese. I flat out don't like whine, particularly when it is extremely cheesy.
File this one under "headed for the dumpster."
Personally, I like neither wine, nor whine. But if I do have wine, I prefer it with cheese. I flat out don't like whine, particularly when it is extremely cheesy.
File this one under "headed for the dumpster."
July 31, 2018
It's hard to know what to say about this book. I want to say I loved but I just can't. As a journalist, I believe everyone has a story and many are worth printing. But this one...not so much. It gets monotonous. This reads more like a diary with a few very short references to what experts have to say. She describes her mid-life onset alcoholism as a big surprise that somehow makes it different from other alcoholism. So she won’t really need to quit drinking. She briefly refers to a moderate drinking program that she uses (sort of) because she doesn’t really need to quit. I would like to have had about half the diary and much more about really quitting or moderating…what is involved? How does one do it? So she drank excessively, smoked excessively and sexed excessively while she was a therapist to other people (ahem?). I know we are all broken but I would like more about how she is healing.
It all seems a little too mixed up to me. The first page starts out telling us this is the part where she will describe the “non-drinking” part of her life. By the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs of the book she describes drinking episodes when she was 11 and then 13. I liked some of the writing but, sorry, I am just not feeling it with this one.
There is really very little here to support or inspire us also-broken people out here--unless you pick dup the book and never knew we all are broken and have issues. But is has been done many times over and with more inspiration.
It all seems a little too mixed up to me. The first page starts out telling us this is the part where she will describe the “non-drinking” part of her life. By the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs of the book she describes drinking episodes when she was 11 and then 13. I liked some of the writing but, sorry, I am just not feeling it with this one.
There is really very little here to support or inspire us also-broken people out here--unless you pick dup the book and never knew we all are broken and have issues. But is has been done many times over and with more inspiration.
May 9, 2018
This is not the first memoir in which Kerry Cohen shares her frank and fraught experiences with addiction, but it's the first I've read. She attributes her behavior to having been neglected and abandoned as a child, and to an unshakable conviction that she herself is unlovable. The author is a licensed psychotherapist, and cites research to support some of her concepts: for example advocating an alternative to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) called MM (Moderation Management) which allows for the problem drinker (or person with a drinking problem, I'm unclear on her differentiation) to continue drinking. Cohen alludes further to a distinction between alcoholism (alcohol dependence) and alcohol abuse (problem drinking), but doesn't follow through on that premise with clear definitions or prescribed methodology. Lush is an utterly forthright overview of Cohen's daily struggle, humiliation, and failure to cope with her drinking, as it ravages marriage, career, and her own well-being. To her credit, Cohen does describe the effects of alcoholism on the mind and body, emphasizes stress as an important factor in addiction, and offers a paragraph on how to quit love addiction (ironic, considering the source). I question the wisdom of validating self-destructive and risky behavior, and wouldn't categorize this book as Self-Help.
July 18, 2018
I received a free copy via Netgalley in exchange for a honest review.
This was so monotonous.
There are only so many excuses you can read until you get fed up.
This leaves you feeling sad for the author and her friends.
This was so monotonous.
There are only so many excuses you can read until you get fed up.
This leaves you feeling sad for the author and her friends.
September 9, 2018
Nah, I didn't like this. I've read several of Kerry Cohen's memoirs over the years but I think now may be the time to stop. "Loose Girl" is Cohen's story of her years of promiscuity before her first marriage while this book is supposed to be about her drinking problem, which developed much later in her 40's. The subjects are very much intertwined (she smokes, drinks, and sexes her way through her second marriage), but I felt this here story wasn't very compelling enough to be a book. For one, the author isn't a very nice person. Case in point: a particular passage about mid-way in which she writes that she flat out "doesn't like" the children of her second husband. What kind of person harbors such resentment toward children like that? And why would anything positive come out of the life of that person going forward?
Second, it's repetitive. As I said before, this book is full of recollections of the author smoking, drinking, going to bars, and fighting with her husband. This continues for about a hundred pages before she finally has an affair with someone else, which quickly goes off the rails. Now I'm not judging the author for bad behavior, but for a memoir I am judging that there seems to be a lack of insight here that makes this book unreadable. For example: passage in which Cohen writes about driving home drunk one night when a cop pulls her over, realizes she is drunk, but lets her go. She then writes that "she's not sure why that happened." Immediately I said out loud: because you're white! LOL...does she not know this? Once again, the lack of any kind of insight makes this book suck.
For a memoir to be good, there should be a mix of insight, introspection, critique, etc. This book doesn't have any of that. It's just a bunch of diary entries where she tells us what she does and what it felt like. Not good. Not recommended either.
Second, it's repetitive. As I said before, this book is full of recollections of the author smoking, drinking, going to bars, and fighting with her husband. This continues for about a hundred pages before she finally has an affair with someone else, which quickly goes off the rails. Now I'm not judging the author for bad behavior, but for a memoir I am judging that there seems to be a lack of insight here that makes this book unreadable. For example: passage in which Cohen writes about driving home drunk one night when a cop pulls her over, realizes she is drunk, but lets her go. She then writes that "she's not sure why that happened." Immediately I said out loud: because you're white! LOL...does she not know this? Once again, the lack of any kind of insight makes this book suck.
For a memoir to be good, there should be a mix of insight, introspection, critique, etc. This book doesn't have any of that. It's just a bunch of diary entries where she tells us what she does and what it felt like. Not good. Not recommended either.
August 13, 2018
I won a free copy of this book; this did not influence my review.
I'm sure many women will identify with Cohen's struggles, and she is a solid writer. However, she often contradicts herself - for example, she states that there were no warning signs of alcoholism until her mid-40s and then she shares stories of her first drinks of alcohol (at ages 11 and 13), her long-time addiction to seeking out male attention, and how she grew up with a father who hid illegal drugs throughout their apartment. Alcohol may have been a surprise, but as a clinical psychologist, I have to imagine she saw the signs in retrospect. Mostly, though, I did not finish the book because a lot of it seemed to digress into her troubled relationships with men rather than her difficulties with alcohol and how she overcame them. Cohen has a prior memoir called Loose Girl, which I did not read, so I don't know how much, if any, of the material is repeated in both books but this felt more like a companion to Loose Girl than an addiction memoir. I was also frustrated by Cohen's frequent change in tense at the beginning of the book. I respect Cohen's frankness and willingness to share her challenges, but ultimately this book wasn't for me.
I'm sure many women will identify with Cohen's struggles, and she is a solid writer. However, she often contradicts herself - for example, she states that there were no warning signs of alcoholism until her mid-40s and then she shares stories of her first drinks of alcohol (at ages 11 and 13), her long-time addiction to seeking out male attention, and how she grew up with a father who hid illegal drugs throughout their apartment. Alcohol may have been a surprise, but as a clinical psychologist, I have to imagine she saw the signs in retrospect. Mostly, though, I did not finish the book because a lot of it seemed to digress into her troubled relationships with men rather than her difficulties with alcohol and how she overcame them. Cohen has a prior memoir called Loose Girl, which I did not read, so I don't know how much, if any, of the material is repeated in both books but this felt more like a companion to Loose Girl than an addiction memoir. I was also frustrated by Cohen's frequent change in tense at the beginning of the book. I respect Cohen's frankness and willingness to share her challenges, but ultimately this book wasn't for me.
September 21, 2018
I didn’t like this book. The author is self indulgent, self obsessed and never learns from her mistakes. She seems to admire her promiscuity and is awful about her step children.
August 31, 2023
I came away thinking the author of this memoir maybe should have kept most of this to herself.
September 25, 2018
A highly readable chronicle of the author's addiction to wine and cigarettes. Candid, while maintaining a sense of humor, Cohen writes of her doomed relationships and the escalation of her alcohol intake. Like hanging out with that crazy friend and putting up with her antics, Cohen is the friend you would want to call for karaoke night, but not for last call.
Copy provided by the Publisher and NetGalley
Copy provided by the Publisher and NetGalley
August 28, 2018
Brutally honest, self-aware and often hilarious. I would recommend this to anyone.
June 22, 2018
I received a copy of Lush from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks NetGalley!
I read Kerry Cohen's book "Loose Girl" a few years ago and I liked it a lot. I loved her brutal honesty about her life. "Lush" is the same kind of book in my opinion. She is brutally honest about things that have gone on in her life. She writes fearlessly about things that I'm sure she knows some people will judge her for and I admire that in a writer. I was super excited to hear she was writing a book about her drinking because I have been a recovering alcoholic for a little over 7 years. I gobble up any book related to this subject. My story is very similar to Kerry's in her active drinking and there were parts of this book that made me feel like someone had punched me in the gut because I could relate SO much to them. The things we do when we are drinking can get UGLY and again, I appreciate her putting it all out there. I have chosen the 12 step program route for my recovery so it was interesting to read her choice of trying moderation. I do agree what she says that some people in 12 step programs act like there is NO other way to help drinking. I have been taught that we aren't the only shop out there and if people want to try other things then that is up to them and it might work for them. I do think however like she said in the book that if you are a person who just can't moderate (like myself) then you probably do need to actually seek some type of help other than just moderating and "sitting still". Those two things do NOT work for me as they seem to her.
I really liked this book and I recommend it to anyone who likes books about alcoholism/addiction.
I read Kerry Cohen's book "Loose Girl" a few years ago and I liked it a lot. I loved her brutal honesty about her life. "Lush" is the same kind of book in my opinion. She is brutally honest about things that have gone on in her life. She writes fearlessly about things that I'm sure she knows some people will judge her for and I admire that in a writer. I was super excited to hear she was writing a book about her drinking because I have been a recovering alcoholic for a little over 7 years. I gobble up any book related to this subject. My story is very similar to Kerry's in her active drinking and there were parts of this book that made me feel like someone had punched me in the gut because I could relate SO much to them. The things we do when we are drinking can get UGLY and again, I appreciate her putting it all out there. I have chosen the 12 step program route for my recovery so it was interesting to read her choice of trying moderation. I do agree what she says that some people in 12 step programs act like there is NO other way to help drinking. I have been taught that we aren't the only shop out there and if people want to try other things then that is up to them and it might work for them. I do think however like she said in the book that if you are a person who just can't moderate (like myself) then you probably do need to actually seek some type of help other than just moderating and "sitting still". Those two things do NOT work for me as they seem to her.
I really liked this book and I recommend it to anyone who likes books about alcoholism/addiction.
October 23, 2025
First allow to me to say how TRULY shocking it is that the author works as a therapist (though I may have mistakenly understood her to identify as a “sex addiction” therapist when she is a sex therapist — for which I imagine the certification and approach is very different). Even so, someone with as great a tendency toward chaos in her own life, so much pessimism, resentment and defiance (“I’m not a joiner,” “I don’t like to be told what to do,” “That wouldn’t work for me” she tells us again and again — and again) combined with such persuasion toward blaming others seems a surprising resume for someone allegedly dedicated to helping people overcome their problems by facing their flaws, fears and limitations (is this not how therapy works? Or is it, as our protagonist implicitly endorses, just talking about one’s problems but refusing to change?)
The story is also dogged by technical issues: the writing and sentences are often repetitive, the narrative is not always linear and the use of statistics is wildly flawed — the studies mentioned are vague and recklessly cited, gross generalizations or oversimplifications are stated as fact (and appear to come directly from the author — no sources given), personal anecdotes — including those of therapy clients! even if used with permission, HOW INAPPROPRIATE) are offered as evidence of…I’m not sure what, exactly. She also clearly did not bother to do much investigation into recovery or addiction science (that didn’t fit her premise, at least), which I won’t call “dangerous” or “controversial” (as I think she might have hoped the sake of sales) since every “problem drinker” is responsible for their own diagnosis as well as their own path to or away from the next drink — but it *is* lazy and it *is* self-serving. Oh, and her preoccupation with the undesirabilty of middle aged women was unsettling, especially for someone who is at least loosely in the field of mental health, which you’d think would advocate self-acceptance as a means to achieving personal peace.
But worst of all, she seems to believe that her own example — despite its many humiliating experiences, acknowledged (but unredeemed) collateral damage to loved ones, a blithe disregard for things like DUIs and a return to sexual behavior that seems a lot like her core addiction — as crucial object lessons in the dubious thesis “most heavy drinkers are NOT alcoholics.”
Where is the proof one way or the other? And does it matter what you call such perpetrators? We should worry more about the force of the hurricane, not its name.
Sadly, there is little to no “showing” here, only the rambling, self-indulgent “telling” of an unreliable narrator who cries about money troubles and work frustrations despite LITERALLY pissing away dollars and productivity by drinking to drunkenness in bars nearly every day and consuming “breakfast wine,” blames trembling hands on “insulin levels” and attempts to link the felony drunk driving conviction of Moderation Management founder Audrey Kishline with her participation in AA. “Stories we tell ourselves” is a constant motif here, but it soon becomes clear that the noun that would better serve this sentence is “lies.”
The last thing I will say is that there’s a lot the author gets wrong about 12-step recovery (including the fact that you’re free to leave at any time, and that no person speaks for the group or organization as a whole), but at least memoirs by most people who pursue that route are suffused with service, humility and hope rather than the complaint, reluctance and rage of this volume. And If I truly wanted to know how to live free of alcohol, I know which I’d rather read.
The story is also dogged by technical issues: the writing and sentences are often repetitive, the narrative is not always linear and the use of statistics is wildly flawed — the studies mentioned are vague and recklessly cited, gross generalizations or oversimplifications are stated as fact (and appear to come directly from the author — no sources given), personal anecdotes — including those of therapy clients! even if used with permission, HOW INAPPROPRIATE) are offered as evidence of…I’m not sure what, exactly. She also clearly did not bother to do much investigation into recovery or addiction science (that didn’t fit her premise, at least), which I won’t call “dangerous” or “controversial” (as I think she might have hoped the sake of sales) since every “problem drinker” is responsible for their own diagnosis as well as their own path to or away from the next drink — but it *is* lazy and it *is* self-serving. Oh, and her preoccupation with the undesirabilty of middle aged women was unsettling, especially for someone who is at least loosely in the field of mental health, which you’d think would advocate self-acceptance as a means to achieving personal peace.
But worst of all, she seems to believe that her own example — despite its many humiliating experiences, acknowledged (but unredeemed) collateral damage to loved ones, a blithe disregard for things like DUIs and a return to sexual behavior that seems a lot like her core addiction — as crucial object lessons in the dubious thesis “most heavy drinkers are NOT alcoholics.”
Where is the proof one way or the other? And does it matter what you call such perpetrators? We should worry more about the force of the hurricane, not its name.
Sadly, there is little to no “showing” here, only the rambling, self-indulgent “telling” of an unreliable narrator who cries about money troubles and work frustrations despite LITERALLY pissing away dollars and productivity by drinking to drunkenness in bars nearly every day and consuming “breakfast wine,” blames trembling hands on “insulin levels” and attempts to link the felony drunk driving conviction of Moderation Management founder Audrey Kishline with her participation in AA. “Stories we tell ourselves” is a constant motif here, but it soon becomes clear that the noun that would better serve this sentence is “lies.”
The last thing I will say is that there’s a lot the author gets wrong about 12-step recovery (including the fact that you’re free to leave at any time, and that no person speaks for the group or organization as a whole), but at least memoirs by most people who pursue that route are suffused with service, humility and hope rather than the complaint, reluctance and rage of this volume. And If I truly wanted to know how to live free of alcohol, I know which I’d rather read.
July 30, 2018
Beautiful, insightful writing. I loved this book.
March 30, 2018
Author Kerry Cohen reaches her early 40s and realises she has a drinking problem. Despite functioning perfectly normal and managing to maintain her job (as a therapist no less!) and dropping her children off to school every day, she's using alcohol to cope with all of her emotions. I devoured this book in just a few hours - I found Kerry's account absolutely fascinating. From reading her perspective, it's easy to see how someone can find themselves in this place without even realising, as the slide from regular social drinking to daily problematic drinking is pretty steady but at the times so gradual that alcoholism seemed to creep up on her.
This is a very easy read in terms of the writing style, as well as Kerry's frank and up-front honesty. I think I expected some drastic change at the end but it seems Kerry's changes to her behaviours were rather less dramatic and theatrical than I had hoped. I was so pleased to see a positive slant to finish with, but somehow I just expected a little *more* to round off Kerry's book.
This is a very easy read in terms of the writing style, as well as Kerry's frank and up-front honesty. I think I expected some drastic change at the end but it seems Kerry's changes to her behaviours were rather less dramatic and theatrical than I had hoped. I was so pleased to see a positive slant to finish with, but somehow I just expected a little *more* to round off Kerry's book.
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October 13, 2018Sad and ended with the same white knuckling behavior. No serenity. No hope. No recovery. A bandaid on a wound that doesn't heal.
September 8, 2018
When Loose Girl author Kerry Cohen reached her early 40s, she realized she had a drinking problem. Yes, she could get up on time, bring her kids to school, make dinner, chat with friends, and all around have a normal day, but, throughout it all, Kerry was waiting for her five o'clock glass of wine. Maybe two glasses. Maybe a bottle. Just enough to blur the edges of her life that had become a monotony of vacuuming, carpooling, and disagreements with her husband. Kerry had replaced one addiction with another, instead of seeking sex she was seeking merlot. Instead of intimacy, she craved the fuzziness of a nice buzz.
What she also realized was: she wasn't the only one.
LUSH is a gripping memoir that examines Kerry's struggle with alcohol, a struggle that a rising number of middle-aged women are facing today as alcohol dependency amongst females drastically increases. A wonderfully poignant and relatable follow up to her memoir Loose Girl, LUSH follows Kerry as she attempts to rediscover the awe in her life, leaving past mistakes, regrets, and the bottle behind.
My Thoughts: With a story that was honest and gritty, revealing all the least flattering aspects of her life, the author of Lush kept me gripped with its intensity. I could not stop following her battles and conflicts, and discovering how she eventually chose a new path.
I could especially relate to how feeling unloved and unlovable drove her choices, leading to situations in which she was more likely to feel those feelings.
Since she is obviously an intelligent and educated woman, I liked how she described the struggles and how she eventually chose to take an unpopular path. With all the hoopla about the disease of alcoholism, I appreciated how she realized that, for her, moderation could be a choice. That particular path was not an easy one, as she faced criticism and raised eyebrows.
She also admitted that her love/sex addictions were as much a part of her problems as her drinking, and that she couldn’t just “quit” love or sex. But she had to learn how to make choices that brought her to a more peaceful place. She described that sometimes you just have to “sit” with your feelings, instead of chasing after something that might make you feel better.
An interesting look into one woman’s world of addiction, and how she dealt with it. 4 stars.
What she also realized was: she wasn't the only one.
LUSH is a gripping memoir that examines Kerry's struggle with alcohol, a struggle that a rising number of middle-aged women are facing today as alcohol dependency amongst females drastically increases. A wonderfully poignant and relatable follow up to her memoir Loose Girl, LUSH follows Kerry as she attempts to rediscover the awe in her life, leaving past mistakes, regrets, and the bottle behind.
My Thoughts: With a story that was honest and gritty, revealing all the least flattering aspects of her life, the author of Lush kept me gripped with its intensity. I could not stop following her battles and conflicts, and discovering how she eventually chose a new path.
I could especially relate to how feeling unloved and unlovable drove her choices, leading to situations in which she was more likely to feel those feelings.
Since she is obviously an intelligent and educated woman, I liked how she described the struggles and how she eventually chose to take an unpopular path. With all the hoopla about the disease of alcoholism, I appreciated how she realized that, for her, moderation could be a choice. That particular path was not an easy one, as she faced criticism and raised eyebrows.
She also admitted that her love/sex addictions were as much a part of her problems as her drinking, and that she couldn’t just “quit” love or sex. But she had to learn how to make choices that brought her to a more peaceful place. She described that sometimes you just have to “sit” with your feelings, instead of chasing after something that might make you feel better.
An interesting look into one woman’s world of addiction, and how she dealt with it. 4 stars.
July 16, 2018
Lush is a memoir by Kerry Cohen and is about her struggle with alcohol. She realises in her mid-forties that she is drinking more than ever before and so are many of her friends.
Her whole life has been based around the need for acceptance from men and trying to find love .She then starts to replace this addiction with alcohol, trying to fill a void in her life.
Her story is well told and I think will strike a chord with many because while she never becomes a vodka hiding, fall down drunk, she drinks too much. Kerry interlaces her story with extremely interesting studies regarding addiction, moderate drinking and the failure of AA. I read this book in an morning, her style of writing pulls you in without being overly emotional.
I will definitely read her other memoirs. Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC
Her whole life has been based around the need for acceptance from men and trying to find love .She then starts to replace this addiction with alcohol, trying to fill a void in her life.
Her story is well told and I think will strike a chord with many because while she never becomes a vodka hiding, fall down drunk, she drinks too much. Kerry interlaces her story with extremely interesting studies regarding addiction, moderate drinking and the failure of AA. I read this book in an morning, her style of writing pulls you in without being overly emotional.
I will definitely read her other memoirs. Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC
February 4, 2020
4 stars. I’m surrounded by wine-dependent women. I think this book is honest and will create a lot of discomfort. Definitely worth the read.
July 21, 2023
Almost dnf. I don't want to rate anyone's personal story badly. It just had too much information about her romantic life. That being said, she stated clearly that her main addiction was to love.
August 15, 2018
I don’t agree with all of her views, particularly her views on Moderation Management and addiction. It was still a good read though. She is very candid about her struggles with addiction and often very humorous. Interesting story.
February 5, 2025
After reading some other reviews, I feel better about leaving mine.
The first half of Lush was promising, it held my interest and I wanted to see how she turned her life around. Plot twist: she doesn’t. I typically love to read quit lit but am disappointed this was recommended even as “quit lit” being that the author ended up “moderating” her wine after being unable to manage her drinking in her 40s. She consistently blames all her issues on others, never learns and never grows. It’s always slightly shocking to me still when someone past middle age hasn’t faced their root problems and made adjustments. I guess I still need reminders that time doesn’t heal everything- you literally have to do the self work. Overall, very painful and sad. Just so sad. I recently heard something along the lines of “if you wanna be miserable, make your life about you. Make your marriage about you, your kids about you, make everything about you to ensure lifelong misery”. That’s all I could think about during this memoir.
The first half of Lush was promising, it held my interest and I wanted to see how she turned her life around. Plot twist: she doesn’t. I typically love to read quit lit but am disappointed this was recommended even as “quit lit” being that the author ended up “moderating” her wine after being unable to manage her drinking in her 40s. She consistently blames all her issues on others, never learns and never grows. It’s always slightly shocking to me still when someone past middle age hasn’t faced their root problems and made adjustments. I guess I still need reminders that time doesn’t heal everything- you literally have to do the self work. Overall, very painful and sad. Just so sad. I recently heard something along the lines of “if you wanna be miserable, make your life about you. Make your marriage about you, your kids about you, make everything about you to ensure lifelong misery”. That’s all I could think about during this memoir.
April 9, 2023
This book is a rambling opus to the author's denial about her alcoholic drinking, littered with unnecessary political statements and denigration of AA. The author is in an unhappy marriage and spends six years sitting on her back porch and in bars smoking and drinking copious amounts of wine while ignoring her husband and two children. She repeatedly writes about how she knows what she is doing is terrible for her health and those around her. Ad infinitum, for 100+ pages. She makes countless awful decisions; after her husband moves out, she embarks on an affair with a married man, who she promptly moves into her home and introduces to her children. When the affair ends, the author finally decides to address her drinking and heads to a wellness retreat where she doesn't drink for three weeks. After that time, she decides to use the moderation modality to continue consuming the wine she loves so much.
Toward the end of the book, she converses with her son Griffen, who tells her he knows she is sad; she says he is so wise for a TEN-year-old. I was shocked; she had been ignoring this child for the previous six years, purposely being absent from his life by removing herself from their home every evening to drink either on the porch or at a bar. Yet, she continued to deny she had a problem with alcohol.
Addiction is genetic; it has been proven over and over again. The author's father was a drug user, the author used alcohol, and tragically Griffen, the son, died of an overdose.
I am in recovery, and before deciding to get sober, I read countless memoirs about people who were addicts and finally got sober and stayed sober, looking for answers. This is not a book I would ever recommend to anyone seeking advice or a story of salvation. I would strongly warn against reading this for anyone in the throws of addiction looking for a path to recovery.
Toward the end of the book, she converses with her son Griffen, who tells her he knows she is sad; she says he is so wise for a TEN-year-old. I was shocked; she had been ignoring this child for the previous six years, purposely being absent from his life by removing herself from their home every evening to drink either on the porch or at a bar. Yet, she continued to deny she had a problem with alcohol.
Addiction is genetic; it has been proven over and over again. The author's father was a drug user, the author used alcohol, and tragically Griffen, the son, died of an overdose.
I am in recovery, and before deciding to get sober, I read countless memoirs about people who were addicts and finally got sober and stayed sober, looking for answers. This is not a book I would ever recommend to anyone seeking advice or a story of salvation. I would strongly warn against reading this for anyone in the throws of addiction looking for a path to recovery.
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