The Art of Influence: Persuading Others Begins With You

by Chris Widener

From Chris Widener, the author of the breakout bestseller The Angel Inside, comes an inspiring new parable on the power of influence.

The Art of Influence will make you think twice about everything you've ever learned about influence. As Chris Widener’s inspiring story reveals, it’s not something you "do" to other people but rather something that starts with how you shape and transform your own life. Forget about manipulation and slick fast-talking; The Art of Influence teaches that your ability to influence others begins from within.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Leadership, Self Help, Personal Development, Psychology, Philosophy

128 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Chris Widener is one of the rising stars of the personal development field.

Chris has been speaking professionally since 1988 and has shared the stage with top political figures, nationally known television news anchors, best-selling authors, and professional athletes. He has spoken on motivation and leadership to groups at some of America's finest organizations such as General Electric, Cisco Systems, and the Harvard Business School.

Chris has written over 400 articles and 9 books and has produced over 30 audio programs on leadership and motivation. His most recent book is The Angel Inside - Creating a Life of Power and Beauty. Chris Widener's Ezine has subscribers in 105 countries, making it one of the world's most widely distributed newsletters on success and leadership. Chris is also the co-host, along with Zig Ziglar, of the nationally televised show "True Performance."

In November 2009, Chris began a group called Positively Republican on Facebook. It has now become the largest Republican group on Facebook behind the official party site. It is focused on a positive promotion of conservative ideals. Chris is available to speak on using social media in politics and the need for positive civil discourse in politics.

Brian Tracy says, "Chris Widener is one of the best speakers in America today."

Denis Waitley says, "Chris Widener is one of the brand new top stars on the International platform speaking circuit."

Jim Rohn says "Chris Widener is the leader of a new generation of personal development and leadership experts."

Reviews

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

***Spoiler- summary of the book

Clear and simple rules to live/work/lead by.

Golden Rules of Influence
1) Live a life of undivided integrity
2) Always demonstrate a positive attitude
3) Consider other people's interests as more important than your own
4) Don't settle for anything less than excellence- This applies to 7 areas in life. Physical appearance, emotional health, intellectual growth, spiritual depth, relationships, financial success, and charitable giving.

Listened to the audiobook. It was about 2 hours long, quick and easy to follow the story and characters.

[Biggest Little Book Talker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is amazing how short books can make a big impact, It’s because a good author knows how to captivate the audience in a few words as knows how to stay on point.

This book goes over the art of business in place of the science of business through a fun story of a young boy who gets to spend time with a billionaire. You learn that’ “Who you are is the most important part of influence, but you need character and skills to be successful”.
You learn about the 4 golden rules from Mr. Gold, see below.

The golden rules of influence:
1. Live a life of undivided integrity
2. Always demonstrate a positive attitude
3. Consider other peoples interests as more important then your own
4. Don’t settle for anything less then excellence

Simple examples and fun stories are given with each example in order to grasp the concepts. At the end of the day success and economics has a lot more to do with psychology than we would think.

[Elizabeth Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

[Aaron Breitbarth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a quick read and a great story.

[Avel Rudenko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended by a mentor. A parable on influence and its fundamental role in leadership. As Chris says it: "Influence is the key to success. Influence is the art of business." Through the story of Marcus and Bobby, we learn about the Four Golden Rules of Influence:

1) Live a life of undivided integrity
2) Always demonstrate a positive attitude
3) Consider other people's interests as more important than your own
4) Don't settle for anything less than excellence

While the above learnings are by no means novel, they are formulated and presented in a very educative, entertaining and thoughtful manner.

Some excerpts that I found particularly insightful:

1- "Persuasion is about what you do to other people. It is about techniques... Influence, in the other hand, is about you...Influence is your ability to change another person's thoughts, beliefs, or actions. In order to be successful in business, you have to be able to influence people."
2- "You can't decide if you are going to be a leader. You can only decide if you will become the type of person others want to follow."
3- "Thomas Jefferson quote - there is a 'Natural aristocracy among men, the grounds of which is virtue and talent."
4- On Fishing: "...you've got to have fish...you've got to wait until they are hungry...you have to use the right king of bait...the last important factor in fishing is presentation."
5- "...let me tell you about integrity. It is all you have. It is the foundation of everything else you do. Without it, you are lost in business. Ultimately the relationship between leader and follower, between buyer and seller, is about trust. Without integrity, it is impossible to trust."
6- "Always demonstrate a positive and optimistic attitude. That is how I influence these superstars I have to lead."
7- "What should they do? (When things go wrong) They need to ask the positive and optimistic question: What good can come from this? That question will help you focus on solutions. It will focus you on a better future. And bringing people to a better future is what influence is all about. Optimism is a choice that we make.
8- On leadership by walking around: "...what matters is what you do when you walk around. I make sure that I am looking out for my people and building relationships. I make sure they know that I care about them and am interested in them."
9- "People are attracted to excellence, so when we live our lives with excellence, people view us in a different way than if we didn't. They actually respect us more, and give us more opportunity to influence them."

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this book, Widener creates a parable to teach his four principles of influence (Live a life of undivided integrity; Always demonstrate a positive attitude; Consider other people's interests as more important than your own; Don't settle for anything less than excellence). It's a good message, and I certainly fall short of living up to these principles (particularly #2 and #3). But I would argue that while this message is good, it's not "good enough." It's not true enough to the gritty reality of life in this strange and very demanding world. We all fall short and are going to fall short, and I didn't get that taste of reality from this audiobook.

Reread this book in June 2017 as part of a training program. I had completely forgotten I had read it back in 2011. The lessons are good reminders of what's needed character-wise to be a person of influence. The third principle of considering others and their interests over your own is the most challenging principle for me.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

La capacidad de influir en el entorno y en los demás es la clave del éxito en el arte de los negocios. PESCAS O CAZAS? La persuasión es como la caza y la influencia es como la pesca.
Reglas de Oro del arte de la influencia:
1-Lleva una vida integra sin condiciones.
2-Demuestra una actitud positiva en todo momento.
3-Antepón los intereses de los demás a los tuyos.
4-No te conformes con nada menos que la perfección.

[Jin Kok · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could pass a book to any teenager who embarks to the working world. This would be the ultimate book that leads in career, relationship and life!

[Mehdi · Rating 3 out of 5]

هنر تأثیرگذاری :::::

تأثیرگذاری کلید موفقیته.تأثیرگذاری، هنر تجارته.»
متقاعد کردن یعنی مجاب کردن مردم نسبت به چیزی.»
تأثیرگذاری به توانایی تو در تغییر دادن افکار، باورها و اعمال دیگران مربوطه.
بهترین راه برای این که مردم قضاوت خوبی درباره‌ی آدم داشته باشن اینه که راست و درست باشیم. پس، باید تبدیل به آدمی بشی که دیگران دوست دارن ازش پیروی کنن. باید تبدیل به اونی بشی که دیگران می‌خوان ازش خرید کنن.

متقاعد کردن شبیه شکاره و تأثیرگذاری شبیه ماهی‌گیری.»
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ممکنه بتونی کسی رو یه بار شکار یا چیزی رو بهش قالب کنی، اما بار دوم و سوم و چهارمی وجود نداره. اما قضیه‌ی ماهی‌گیری و تأثیرگذاری یه چیز دیگه‌ست. تأثیرگذاران واقعی مردم رو راحت می‌ذارن و این احساس رو در اونا ایجاد می‌کنن که همه چیز در اختیار اوناست. و فراموش نکن، اونا به‌راستی عنان اختیار رو به دست طرف مقابل می‌دن. وقتی این جوری به قضیه نگاه کنی، روان‌شناسی معامله به کلی عوض می‌شه.»
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پس، اول تو باید ماهی داشته باشی، و دوم باید اون‌قدر صبر کنی تا گرسنه شون بشه. سومین نکته درباره‌ی ماهی‌گیری از همه مهم‌تره: باید از طعمه‌ی مناسب استفاده کنی.
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این که ما حاضر جواب باشیم یا با چرب زبانی دیگران رو مجاب کنیم یا از پس شکایت دیگران بر بیاییم باعث نمیشه که آدم تأثیرگذار موفقی بشیم. این که خودمون کی هستیم باعث جذابیت ما میشه. آخه مردم محصولات، خدمات، استدلال‌ها، ایده‌ها و تدابیر تو رو که نمی‌خرن. اونا قبل از هر چیز خریدار شخصیت توهستن. پس باید از خودت این سؤال رو بکنی که: من چه جور طعمه‌ای هستم؟»
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آخرین عامل مهم در ماهی‌گیری نحوه‌ی معرفیه.
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با دیدن جلد یه کتاب نمیشه به محتویات اون پی برد. ممکنه توش پر از اطلاعات مفید باشه؛ ممکنه ورق هاش سفید باشه. اما مردم همیشه کتاب‌ها رو از روی جلدشون قضاوت می‌کنن.این طبیعت بشره.
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اگه بخوایم تو کار و معامله موفق باشیم، باید برخورد و تأثیرگذاری اولیه مون خوب باشه. این طوریه که ما خودمونو به اطرافیان‌مون معرفی می‌کنیم. برای این منظور، ما نباید کاری کنیم که باعث بشه از باز کردن کتاب و بررسی دقیق‌تر اون منصرف بشن
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قانون طلایی تأثیرگذاری شماره‌ی یک:
درکلیه‌ی سطوح زندگی صادق باش!
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بذار درباره‌ی صداقت و راستی برات بگم. همه‌یانسانیت تو توی همین خصوصیت خلاصه میشه. این، اساس همه‌ی کارهای دیگه ایه که تو انجام میدی. بدون داشتن این ویژگی، کار و کاسبی تو محکوم به فناست. رابطه‌ی میان رهبر و پیرو، میان خریدار و فروشنده بر پایه‌ی اعتماد برقراره. بدون صداقت و راستی برقراری اعتماد محاله. و اگه اعتمادی در بین نباشه هیچ وقت معامله‌ای سر نمی‌گیره، خواه این معامله پنجاه دلار باشه، خواه پنجاه میلیون دلار و خواه پانصد میلیون دلار.
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خوش بینی یعنی همین: انتخاب بینشی سالم و مثبت نسبت به وقایع و دنیای پیرامون. انتخاب این باور که خیر و منفعتی در پیشامدهای ناگوار وجود داره و آینده بهتر از حال خواهد بود. این، همون طرز فکریه که مردم دوست دارن ازش پیروی کنن. اونا رهبرانی رو می‌خوان که آینده‌ای روشن‌تر رو می‌بینن.»
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نیروی مرگ و زندگی در زبان است.به عبارت دیگه، هر حرفی که می‌زنیم، تأثیر بسیار زیادی روی خودمون و اطرافیانمون به جا می‌ذاره. ما می‌تونیم با سخنانمون روح زندگی رو در مردم بدمیم، یا برعکس، اونا رو به مرگ و نیستی بکشونیم. شنیدی که میگن: سنگ و چوب استخوان خرد می‌کنه، ��ما حرف باد هواست؟»
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[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Art of Influence: Persuading Others Begins With You– Chris Widener

Small book, big impact. Good listeners steer conversations toward other people’s interest.

The Art of Influence is an inspiring parable that encourages challenging yourself to become you’re best. While many books on business cater to developing skills, the author feels that what’s missing is more about developing one’s character and influencing through who you are as a human being. Not simply persuasion, but actual influencing.

Some things I found unrealistic, such as the billionaires, but liked it overall. Through a parable, this book teaches

1. Live a life of undivided integrity.
2. Always demonstrate a positive attitude
3. Consider other people’s interests as more important than your own.
4. Don’t settle for anything less than excellence.

Some excerpts that I found particularly insightful:
1. “Persuasion is about what you do to other people. It is about techniques… Influence, on the other hand, is about you… Influence is your ability to change another person’s thoughts, beliefs, or actions. In order to be successful in business, you have to be able to influence people.”
2. “You can’t decide if you are going to be a leader. You can only decide if you will become the type of person others want to follow.”
3. “Thomas Jefferson quote – there is a ‘Natural aristocracy among men, the grounds of which is virtue and talent.”
4. On fishing: .. you’ve got to have fish… you’ve got to wait until they are hungry… you have to use the right kind of bait.. The last important factor in fishing is presentation.”
5. …Let me tell you about integrity. It is all you have. It is the foundation of everything else you do. Without it, you are lost in business. Ultimately the relationship between leader and follower, between buyer and seller, is about trust. Without integrity, it is impossible to trust.”
6. “Always demonstrate a positive and optimistic attitude. That is how I influence these superstars I have to lead.”
7. What should they do? ) When things go wrong) they need to ask the positive and optimistic question: What good can come from this? That question will help you focus on solutions. It will focus you on a better future. And bringing people to a better future is what influence is all about. Optimism is a choice we make.
8. On leadership by walking around: “what…matters is what you do when you walk around. I make sure that I am looking out for my people and building relationships. I make sure they know that I care about them and am interested in them.”
9. “People are attracted to excellence, so when we live our lives with excellence, people view us in a different way than if we didn’t. They actually respect us more and give us more opportunity to influence them.”

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Art of Influence: Persuading Others Begins With You" by Chris Widener is a transformative parable that imparts essential lessons on becoming an influential leader. Through the fictional narrative of Marcus Drake's encounter with the fictional billionaire Bobby Gold, the book explores four golden rules of influence. Influence is presented as the art of personal growth, extending beyond persuasion. Becoming someone people are attracted to is emphasized over making arguments for followership. Managing perceptions through authenticity is highlighted as crucial for success in both business and life.

In this narrative, character traits such as honesty, passion, vision, and fairness are deemed essential for leadership. The book underscores the importance of developing both character and skills, with character being more pivotal for attracting trust and influence. The fishing mindset is introduced, emphasizing patience, confidence, and the ability to attract rather than chase. Four key fishing skills are outlined: belief in abundance, focusing efforts where there is interest, developing an attractive bait (character and skills), and tailoring the bait to suit the audience.

Living with complete integrity is highlighted through a story where a CFO's minor lie costs a $50 million deal. Trust, a foundation for influence, is emphasized, and the book asserts that even small deceptions can lead to suspicion and doubt. Demonstrating a positive attitude is deemed the second golden rule of influence. Positivity is presented as uplifting and attractive, while negativity is described as repelling. The choice to be hopeful, especially during challenges, is encouraged.

Building strong relationships by caring about others' interests is portrayed as key to gaining influence. Genuine concern for others fosters trust and likability, making people more willing to do business with someone who shows authentic interest in them. Pursuing excellence in all aspects of life is revealed as the fourth rule for gaining influence. High standards and dedication to continuous improvement are encouraged, with excellence seen as a magnet that draws others to those who demonstrate it.

The book concludes with the assertion that the best way to achieve enduring success is by becoming a person of influence. Continuous commitment to developing character, skills, and perceptions is emphasized as crucial for lasting influence. "The Art of Influence" provides readers with a parable that encapsulates key principles of leadership and influence. The book's narrative structure, coupled with practical lessons, offers an engaging and insightful guide for individuals seeking to enhance their ability to influence others positively.

[Juli · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Art of Influence is a single-session read that packs a big punch.

Told in the format of a parable, this enlightening book covers four main principles of influence. And in choosing to use the parable format, Chris Widener made his points all the more significant and memorable. Rather than focusing on methods of manipulation, Widener dials in on honing one's personal character and becoming the kind of person that encourages influence, rather than trying to force it.

I would recommend this book to everyone, as these principles reach far beyond the kind of influence needed to make sales or be a leader. This kind of character can positively affect one's own habits, daily interactions, work, and relationships.

Read a summary of The Four Golden Rules of Influence here.

[Mir Shahzad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary:
The best way to achieve enduring success is by becoming a person of influence. And gaining that influence requires continuous commitment to developing your character, skills, and perceptions. 

Approach influencing others with a patient, trust-building mindset, rather than being aggressive. Attract others with your strong character and impressive skills. Maintain optimism in the face of setbacks, and avoid manipulation and pressure tactics that damage relationships. Success comes from carefully nurturing contacts over time. And remember to uphold integrity above all else. Lies destroy trust and opportunities, so safeguard your credibility.

Strive for excellence across all life domains through high standards and work-life balance. Master the art of influence, and success will follow.

[Esteban · Rating 4 out of 5]

This small but powerful book talks about things that you might think to yourself and say duh!

But honestly, It did bring out some good points.

Summary/ big takeaway from this book.

The 4 major principles: ( The Golden Rules )

. Live a life of undivided integrity.
. Always demonstrate a positive attitude.
. Consider other people's interests as more important than your own.
. Don't settle for anything less than excellence.

These Golden Rules are the main focus of this book.

After reading this book it reminded me of the bible right away and what it says in it.

Very similar points.

Do recommend it, it teaches you how to be a good influencer and how to fish rather than hunt.

[Maxine Blackwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best way to achieve enduring success is by becoming a person of influence. And gaining that influence requires continuous commitment to developing your character, skills, and perceptions. 

Approach influencing others with a patient, trust-building mindset, rather than being aggressive. Attract others with your strong character and impressive skills. Maintain optimism in the face of setbacks, and avoid manipulation and pressure tactics that damage relationships. Success comes from carefully nurturing contacts over time. And remember to uphold integrity above all else. Lies destroy trust and opportunities, so safeguard your credibility.

Strive for excellence across all life domains through high standards and work-life balance. Master the art of influence, and success will follow.

[Danielle Hall · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was looking for something halfway between self-help and business advice. This book was purportedly that, but I felt it completely glossed over privilege. Both the mentor and mentee had a lot of privilege in their upbringings, but the moral of the story is that "attitude and hard work will bring you success." Okay, but what about generational income inequality or racial profiling for start-up loans? Or what about being a woman in a "man's world"? All things that hard work alone cannot overcome, and yet completely ignored in this book.

If you're a wealthy white dude looking for other wealthy white dudes to tell you that you have what it takes, then this book is for you.

[Reggie Morrisey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to hear something positive after the weight of Million Dollar Whale an expose of corruption swallowing up the globe.
With The Art of Persuading audio book a fast-talking read taking up one hour and forty minutes of my time, I can't get worked up about how banal this book is. It was over before it started. A Meh. That it came out in 2008 costing $19.95 strikes me as more evidence of greed winning. Sigh.
If you know someone who rarely or never reads yet needs a parable to go forward and multiply dollars into a fortune, this book is the one - to get out of the library. It currently sells for more than $13 - still way too much.

[CA Ram Melam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This audiobook presents clear and simple rules that are not just theoretical, but practical and applicable to your life, work, and leadership. 

The golden rules of influence can change people's mindsets:
1) We must live a life of impeccable integrity;
2) We must consistently exemplify our positive attitude and optimism;
3) We must consider other's interests more important than our own
4) We must not settle for anything less than excellence. This rule applies to seven areas of life. Physical appearance, emotional health, intellectual growth, spiritual depth, relationships, financial success, and charitable giving.

[Pat Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!!! I currently work for a MLM business and we read Go Pro often to know the verbiage to use but developing yourself personally is just as important and that is where this book comes in. It pretty much said everything that we practice in our business but it also informes how to influence others and how to develop your personal skills. It all is pretty common sense but in this world, common sense is so foreign and that is what makes this such a good book. I know this review doesn't make much sense...just have to read it to understand.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very fast "listen." I picked up the audio CD and even though the book was published in 2008, the teaching in it is timeless. Some readers may consider it simple and nothing new but I think we need to be reminded of where influence really originates. Every action that we take or don't take affects our ability to influence others. True influence begins with character and integrity. The parable used to convey Widener's points was effective and enjoyable. In the arena of motivational, self-help and business reads, this book would be in the top 10 for me.

[Adrian Ramos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice short read presented in story format where successful businessman is mentoring grandson of his childhood nanny.
The 4 Golden Rules of Influencing
1. Live a life if undivided integrity

2. Always demonstrate a positive attitude.

3. Consider other peoples interests as more important than your own.

4. Don’t settle for anything less than excellence.

10 traits of someone who would influence you

Honesty
Passion
Vision
Empowering
Fairness
Decisiveness
Good listening skills
Ability to communicate
Courage
Positive attitude

[Mckinley · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Become the type of person others want to follow."
Understanding people. 4 rules
1. Live life of undivided integrity
2. Always demonstrate a positive attitude
3. Consider other people's interests as more important than your own
4. Don't settle for anything less than excellence

Although short there is padding as the principles are wrapped up in the story of Marcus and Bobby. Because it's short, easy and fast to read through.

[Heather Martinez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great little book. It reads like a story about a young college man who is embarking upon the business world. He is hooked up with a millionaire that gives him 4 keys to success. They each center around influence. I won't add anything beyond that as a spoiler alert. The book is an easy read & very thoughtful regarding leadership skills. If you are in a leadership role than this is a great little book to read.

[Sir-Brighton Khumalo · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book to give to your teenage kid in order for them to start learning about basic tenets of influence.

I particularly enjoyed the parables style of writing as it keeps you captivated all the time. The four golden rules of influence are pretty cool and I liked the clarity between influence and persuasion because they're not the same thing.

[Nasos Chatzilaidis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent points. Only 100 % helpful when you have prestige. It's more of a "how to influence correctly if people are already listening" and not "how to influence". The 4 golden rules are universal but they provide the best result when you are in the first category.

[Jim Miotke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the audiobook. Some reviewers just don't like parables.

Was I surprised how quickly it was over? Yes. But I still enjoyed it and appreciated the reminders.

If you enjoy parable-style business books, this is a good one.

[John LeViness · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love books like this. The story structure delivers the information in quick visual punches. You’ll ride along as a young college graduate learns some old school ropes from some typhoons. Very well done and highly recommended!

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

a short audio book about being an authentic leader, sales person, business leader with the wisdom being told in the form of a story rather than in lecture format. The rules of being ethical, honest, caring about others, etc. The analogy of being a hunter vs. a fisher was interesting

[Suzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of great information packed into a small book.

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to understand. Simple and promotes times principles.