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The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ
From the family that brought you The Lifegiving Home and The Lifegiving Table , discover how you can become a parent who gives your child a life worth living for Christ.
In today’s world, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and even paralyzed by the constant flow of parenting advice. We’re flooded with so much practical information that we wonder if we’re choosing the right way. And we may be missing the one thing God really wants us to give to our His life. God doesn’t include a divine methodology for parenting in the Bible, but He does provide principles that can enable any faithful parent to bring His life into the life of their home.
In The Lifegiving Parent , respected authors and parents Clay and Sally Clarkson explore eight key principles―heartbeats of lifegiving parenting―to shed light on what it means to create a home where your children will experience the living God in your family. Now parents of four grown children―each with their own unique personality and gifts―Sally and Clay have learned (sometimes the hard way!) that the key to shaping a heart begins at home as you foster a deep and thoughtful God-infused relationship with each child. Filled with biblical insight and classic Clarkson stories, The Lifegiving Parent will equip you with the tools and wisdom you need to give your children much more than just a good Christian life. You’ll give them the life of Christ. (Don’t miss the companion piece, The Lifegiving Parent Experience! )
In today’s world, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and even paralyzed by the constant flow of parenting advice. We’re flooded with so much practical information that we wonder if we’re choosing the right way. And we may be missing the one thing God really wants us to give to our His life. God doesn’t include a divine methodology for parenting in the Bible, but He does provide principles that can enable any faithful parent to bring His life into the life of their home.
In The Lifegiving Parent , respected authors and parents Clay and Sally Clarkson explore eight key principles―heartbeats of lifegiving parenting―to shed light on what it means to create a home where your children will experience the living God in your family. Now parents of four grown children―each with their own unique personality and gifts―Sally and Clay have learned (sometimes the hard way!) that the key to shaping a heart begins at home as you foster a deep and thoughtful God-infused relationship with each child. Filled with biblical insight and classic Clarkson stories, The Lifegiving Parent will equip you with the tools and wisdom you need to give your children much more than just a good Christian life. You’ll give them the life of Christ. (Don’t miss the companion piece, The Lifegiving Parent Experience! )
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2018
463 people are currently reading
3597 people want to read
About the author
Clay Clarkson
19 books95 followersClay Clarkson is director of Whole Heart Ministries, a nonprofit family ministry he and his wife, Sally, started in 1994 to help Christian parents raise wholehearted children for Christ. He is the author of Educating the WholeHearted Child, Our 24 Family Ways, Heartfelt Discipline, Taking Motherhood to Hearts, and The Lifegiving Parent (with Sally Clarkson). He writes online about Christian parenting, imagination, and other biblical topics. Clay is a graduate of Denver Seminary (MDIv) and has served with churches and ministries since 1975. He is also a Christian songwriter and collector of old Christian books. Clay and Sally live in Monument, Colorado. Their four children are grown, following Jesus, and following in their parents' footsteps as writers and creators.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 226 reviews
March 5, 2022
I am cheap. I read books for free if possible (and legal, of course) and don’t buy them unless I have to. But now that I’ve read this book — for free — I will be buying it.
While I was reading it I had a conversation with a child psychologist who is a Christian parent, in which he expressed his frustration (which mirrored mine with regard to a recently-read book) about Christian parenting books that take Bible verses out of context to support their rigid or specific guidelines — guidelines which may or may not be perfectly good advice but have nothing to do with the poor Bible verse lying mangled on the floor in a fetal position.
The Lifegiving Parent was a breath of fresh air. Clay Clarkson manages to write a book that is immersed in Scripture and yet avoids proof-texting. It’s full of practical ideas, yet devoid of 12-step programs or cheesy promised results “by Friday.”
Calvinist types may take issue with his position on the innocence of children, but it’s simply the early and majority Christian view and in my opinion has the weight of scripture behind it.
Somehow I found myself writing down ideas for parenting that Clarkson didn’t even mention in his book, but were a natural outflow of his theology and the parenting experience that the Clarksons have.
I had to write these down elsewhere because I knew my digital highlights and notes would vanish as soon as my virtual copy is returned to its sad cloud-based shelf in an online library. Hence the fact, again, that I’ll be buying this book.
While I was reading it I had a conversation with a child psychologist who is a Christian parent, in which he expressed his frustration (which mirrored mine with regard to a recently-read book) about Christian parenting books that take Bible verses out of context to support their rigid or specific guidelines — guidelines which may or may not be perfectly good advice but have nothing to do with the poor Bible verse lying mangled on the floor in a fetal position.
The Lifegiving Parent was a breath of fresh air. Clay Clarkson manages to write a book that is immersed in Scripture and yet avoids proof-texting. It’s full of practical ideas, yet devoid of 12-step programs or cheesy promised results “by Friday.”
Calvinist types may take issue with his position on the innocence of children, but it’s simply the early and majority Christian view and in my opinion has the weight of scripture behind it.
Somehow I found myself writing down ideas for parenting that Clarkson didn’t even mention in his book, but were a natural outflow of his theology and the parenting experience that the Clarksons have.
I had to write these down elsewhere because I knew my digital highlights and notes would vanish as soon as my virtual copy is returned to its sad cloud-based shelf in an online library. Hence the fact, again, that I’ll be buying this book.
January 9, 2025
I think I'll always cherish the little reminders in this book.
May 2, 2018
I have never heard of Clay and Sally Clarkson, but the title of their newest book, The Life Giving Parent captured my attention. As authors who have written a number of books and devotions for raising a Godly family, I was interested in what I could learn to bring God more as the focal point in our lives. I read through the book pretty quickly for this review, but I believe I will be returning to it with a highlighter and a pencil, so I can study more closely. My favorite chapters are renewing of the mind and creating your child's imagination. As a fiction writer, I have always used my imagination, so I LOVE the idea of how to grow my children's imagination. I have studied what C. S. Lewis has written about Imagination. Overall, the book talks about a number of ways that would be easy to incorporate into my family to bring God into the forefront of my kids and my life. I believe once I am done, I will be sharing the book title with other members of my church family. I recommend this book to anyone who wants bring God more into their children's lives.
I received a complimentary copy of The Life Giving Parent from Tyndale Publishing, but the opinions stated are all my own.
I received a complimentary copy of The Life Giving Parent from Tyndale Publishing, but the opinions stated are all my own.
June 8, 2019
This is a thorough book about how to raise your children with God as the center of the home, based on the author's own family life. It is heavily cited with Bible references and stories that are totally applicable.
At the end of each chapter, which focuses on one "heartbeat" of lifegiving parenting, there are practical steps to accomplish whatever truth they're addressing. I especially appreciate when practical tips are given to amorphous ideologies like Christianity and parenting.
I appreciate facts, numbers, charts, studies, logic, etc. (MBTI: ISTJ, enneagram 1) and this book doesn't rub that sweet spot of nonfiction reading for me. There's a bit of opinion and speculation peppered throughout the book and one would have to be somewhat of the same mind and opinion about parenting as this couple for this to be helpful or agreeable.
While I found some great truths and ideas for positive parenting, I can't say that any of them were novel. (For the sake of sounding as one with an air of superiority, much of my reading life is dedicated to parenting and relationship books, so I feel as if I've gathered lots of information.)
This would be an excellent book for new Christian parents and ones that haven't read many parenting books. But if you're like me, I would pass on this...unless you just love the authors. (By the way, I loved Sally Clarkson's "Life-Giving Home" book when I read it a few years ago.)
At the end of each chapter, which focuses on one "heartbeat" of lifegiving parenting, there are practical steps to accomplish whatever truth they're addressing. I especially appreciate when practical tips are given to amorphous ideologies like Christianity and parenting.
I appreciate facts, numbers, charts, studies, logic, etc. (MBTI: ISTJ, enneagram 1) and this book doesn't rub that sweet spot of nonfiction reading for me. There's a bit of opinion and speculation peppered throughout the book and one would have to be somewhat of the same mind and opinion about parenting as this couple for this to be helpful or agreeable.
While I found some great truths and ideas for positive parenting, I can't say that any of them were novel. (For the sake of sounding as one with an air of superiority, much of my reading life is dedicated to parenting and relationship books, so I feel as if I've gathered lots of information.)
This would be an excellent book for new Christian parents and ones that haven't read many parenting books. But if you're like me, I would pass on this...unless you just love the authors. (By the way, I loved Sally Clarkson's "Life-Giving Home" book when I read it a few years ago.)
April 13, 2018
“Engagement with Christian culture does not define a Christian home; engagement with the living Christ does.”
I was given the opportunity to read the first few chapters of this book before it releases and I can’t wait to finish it in a few weeks. There are so many great nuggets of wisdom and encouragement like the one above in just these few chapters and I look forward the rest.
“The first priority for strengthening your child’s faith as a lifegiving parent is to strengthen your own faith.”
This quote is one I’ve written on an index card and hung up on my kitchen calendar so I see it every day. It gives me more encouragement to pursue my own relationship with Jesus.
I was given the opportunity to read the first few chapters of this book before it releases and I can’t wait to finish it in a few weeks. There are so many great nuggets of wisdom and encouragement like the one above in just these few chapters and I look forward the rest.
“The first priority for strengthening your child’s faith as a lifegiving parent is to strengthen your own faith.”
This quote is one I’ve written on an index card and hung up on my kitchen calendar so I see it every day. It gives me more encouragement to pursue my own relationship with Jesus.
February 14, 2024
So many thought-provoking words and ideas! Lots to digest in this book.
I will say that the beginning and ending get bogged down. I did not necessarily enjoy the writing style - too dry, too detailed, too stiff. But the middle of the book, with all the meat in it, was excellent!
I will say that the beginning and ending get bogged down. I did not necessarily enjoy the writing style - too dry, too detailed, too stiff. But the middle of the book, with all the meat in it, was excellent!
January 16, 2023
4.5 stars. I love the Clarksons and I loved this book. My only caution would be if someone wasn’t familiar with their heart/ministry, they could read this book as A+B=C. If I do these things then my children are guaranteed to turn out a certain way. They say clearly they aren’t advocating for that, but I feel like it could still be taken that way if people aren’t reminded continually that it’s not our performance as parents that equates salvation or godliness—that is a gift from God alone and we must throw ourselves on Him for strength to pour into our children and trust Him with the results.
November 28, 2021
This is a book not about "how-to"s but about principles for raising a family. It's about following healthy principles inspired by the Bible, forming family traditions and rituals.
But the Clarkson family prides itself on having rituals. Their entire life is centered on 24 "family ways" which the children had to learn by heart. Throughout the book, there are various lists of steps, rules, mnemonics and so on. While that may work for them, it's hardly a model to follow.
That being said, it's an easy to read book. The chapters are well structured, weaving together personal experience and researched data. Each chapter ends with a summary and pointers for applying it your life.
But the Clarkson family prides itself on having rituals. Their entire life is centered on 24 "family ways" which the children had to learn by heart. Throughout the book, there are various lists of steps, rules, mnemonics and so on. While that may work for them, it's hardly a model to follow.
That being said, it's an easy to read book. The chapters are well structured, weaving together personal experience and researched data. Each chapter ends with a summary and pointers for applying it your life.
September 23, 2025
This was a very good book. A little wordy at times, but still a solid parenting book, one I will probably revisit a few times. It also helps in reading a parenting book, knowing the author has grown children following the LORD.
I had one point that had me cocking my head (but didn't detract from my overall feelings for the book). In his section on imagination, I felt like he tried to bend some scripture to fit his views. What he said about imagination is spot on; I just didn't think the scriptures were used quite right in that instance.
I had one point that had me cocking my head (but didn't detract from my overall feelings for the book). In his section on imagination, I felt like he tried to bend some scripture to fit his views. What he said about imagination is spot on; I just didn't think the scriptures were used quite right in that instance.
November 11, 2018
Based on the few chapters I’ve read so far, I have been so encouraged by Clay and Sally’s instruction to invest in the lives of my children for eternity. I think the idea that has touched me the most is the idea that even parenting is a walk of faith. It is NOT a formula. I’m so thankful for a godly book that doesn’t promise me that if I follow five steps, my kids will turn out perfectly. Instead, they provide principles for loving my children like Jesus and how to extend grace to them when they mess up (and how to receive grace when I mess up!). I can’t wait to read the rest of the book!!!
January 19, 2020
I enjoyed this book but not as much as "The Lifegiving Home" authored by just Sally. There were many Bible references, ideas and resources to help your children to develop spiritually, mentally and emotionally!
October 29, 2020
I wanted to love this book but just couldn't get into it like I did with other books by Sally. This one was written mostly by Clay and it was dense and just didn't resonate with me as much. I love Sally's podcast, so I also felt like I had heard a lot of this before. Still a good book that I would recommend to new parents, but if you have older kids you may have learned a lot of this already
January 31, 2022
There is so much good in this book. The principles that Clarkson lays out are biblical, practical, and life-giving. It is clear that he has thought deeply on parenthood and saturated himself in the Scriptures and reflected well on what it means to be a godly parent.
However, there are two things that prevent me from unreservedly endorsing this book. First, there is one extended imaginative retelling of a scene from the life of Jesus. This kind of imaginative storytelling about Jesus, that is not in the Bible, but meant to help us understand the Bible makes me very uncomfortable. It borders dangerously on adding to Scripture, as if it adds something to our understanding of Jesus and his teaching. The chapter did not benefit from this, nor was it necessary to make the points he did.
Secondly, chapter 8, "Cultivating Your Child's Character" is largely built upon personality tests and secular psychological methods. This too, is very dangerous, and puts readers in the position of using extra-biblical authorities to shape our parenting. This is a very dangerous path that many Christians have taken and ultimately leads to thoroughly pagan authorities such as the enneagram and neo-pagan psychology. I could have overlooked some of what was in this chapter were it not all reinforced at the end of the book in the appendices. I'm not accusing Clarkson of all this, just criticizing him for uncritically setting his readers on the beginning of a dangerous path.
Apart from these two criticisms, the book is really quite good. But I really wish I could give a full endorsement, and I cannot.
However, there are two things that prevent me from unreservedly endorsing this book. First, there is one extended imaginative retelling of a scene from the life of Jesus. This kind of imaginative storytelling about Jesus, that is not in the Bible, but meant to help us understand the Bible makes me very uncomfortable. It borders dangerously on adding to Scripture, as if it adds something to our understanding of Jesus and his teaching. The chapter did not benefit from this, nor was it necessary to make the points he did.
Secondly, chapter 8, "Cultivating Your Child's Character" is largely built upon personality tests and secular psychological methods. This too, is very dangerous, and puts readers in the position of using extra-biblical authorities to shape our parenting. This is a very dangerous path that many Christians have taken and ultimately leads to thoroughly pagan authorities such as the enneagram and neo-pagan psychology. I could have overlooked some of what was in this chapter were it not all reinforced at the end of the book in the appendices. I'm not accusing Clarkson of all this, just criticizing him for uncritically setting his readers on the beginning of a dangerous path.
Apart from these two criticisms, the book is really quite good. But I really wish I could give a full endorsement, and I cannot.
September 12, 2024
There are lots of good nuggets in this book, and it is always a blessing to read another family’s tale of how they sought to express, teach, and show their love of God to their children. However, I had a lot of issues with it… one of the biggest ones is that Clay frequently reminds the reader that there is no formula for ensuring your kids act or behave or respond in specific ways, and then goes on to A+B = C with how their family did things. So, taking your kids to Sunday school won’t ensure specific outcomes, but their family traditions will definitely do it! The other major issue I had is the Clarksons… obsession? idolizing? of their own family. Maybe I’m just a cynic. Yes, love your kids. Yes, love them A LOT. But it came off in a “love the creation more than the creator” kind of way.
I DO appreciate the overall objective of this book, which was to offer a life giving way of parenting, as opposed to the often related negative-discipline approach. (I’m not saying it IS, but I often find that it can be).
The conclusion I have is that being a disciplined parent and seeking to effectively and lovingly and LIFE-GIVINGLY discipline (disciple) your children is an *insanely* fine line that’s easy to cross over into either negative/punishment or overly positive/idolizing.
In any case, praise God that He is sovereign over our best and worst attempts to love our kids. Thank goodness He loves them perfectly and more than we possibly ever could!
I DO appreciate the overall objective of this book, which was to offer a life giving way of parenting, as opposed to the often related negative-discipline approach. (I’m not saying it IS, but I often find that it can be).
The conclusion I have is that being a disciplined parent and seeking to effectively and lovingly and LIFE-GIVINGLY discipline (disciple) your children is an *insanely* fine line that’s easy to cross over into either negative/punishment or overly positive/idolizing.
In any case, praise God that He is sovereign over our best and worst attempts to love our kids. Thank goodness He loves them perfectly and more than we possibly ever could!
June 5, 2018
This book was coauthored by Clay and Sally Clarkson, a husband and wife team. I have read a couple of Sally’s books before and enjoyed them, but this one was a little different. The bulk of each chapter was written by Clay with a lot of biblical teaching about parenting and towards the very end, Sally would give a quick snapshot of what this looked like for their family as it pertained to that particular subject/chapter. Basically Clay would teach and Sally would story tell. Obviously this is a great model, but I wasn’t a fan of Clay’s writing. It literally felt like dredging through mud at times and I’ll be honest, after the third chapter I started skimming, otherwise it probably would have been May 2019 before I finished the book.
I wouldn’t write Clay and Sally Clarkson off all together, I think they are very wise and have been writing about parenting and speaking to others about it for as long as I have been alive. However, I will say that sometimes I walk away from reading their books and think that I have failed in some way because I don’t always read the bible to my kids at dinner time or use every moment as a teaching example, etc. If you give it a shot, let me know what you think.
*The kind people over at Tyndall Publishing sent me this book to read and review.*
I wouldn’t write Clay and Sally Clarkson off all together, I think they are very wise and have been writing about parenting and speaking to others about it for as long as I have been alive. However, I will say that sometimes I walk away from reading their books and think that I have failed in some way because I don’t always read the bible to my kids at dinner time or use every moment as a teaching example, etc. If you give it a shot, let me know what you think.
*The kind people over at Tyndall Publishing sent me this book to read and review.*
July 9, 2018
I really struggled with this book, I had a hard time focusing, I typically can get through a 200-page book in a few days, this took me over a week. I know that Clay and Sally are both wonderful people, but I Came away feeling overwhelmed and defeated in some points, like I could never measure up to these ideals, although I do agree with them. I also have a hard time with fathers giving parenting advice to mothers, (I know this book is for parents, but I am a mother and he is a father), because children relate so differently to their fathers than their mother. So I felt like many of the things he suggested would work with my husband, but not necessarily me, because I’m the one doing the day-in-day-out. I still think that this book is worth reading, I just wish I had come with different expectations. My favorite chapters were the ones about personality and imagination.
October 16, 2020
How to bring the life of God into your home for your children to see and believe. Give them the life you have found in Him. How God comes alive in your family.
“You cannot put into your children’s hearts what is not first in your own heart, and it will only get there through an active and purposeful relationship with God.”
“There is no place and no time when teaching children about God should not be happening.”
Open doors and windows to let God/light in, Holy Ghost is the vent - removes bad and brings in good. Ch 1
1-Numbering your child's days:
Set goals and make plans, help your kids to do so. Like family home evening/family council. Focus on positives. Ask open ended questions to get kids participation. Make light and fun.
Make the most of every opportunity.
Take time from the world for family in God.
“Parent with the end in mind. Make the most of the time you have to shape and influence your child’s heart and mind for God.” Ch 2
2-Nurturing your child's spirit:
Give your kids life “GIFTS” Grace, Inspiration, Faith, Training, Service.
Training is shaping or forming the heart.
Pray as couple about how to improve in areas lacking. Paul’s list of traits. Also Ephesians 6:4
Be excited when talking about scripture. Ch 3
3-Guarding your child's heart:
Be alert to negative influences on your children’s hearts. Children are easily influenced. Help them make sense of what they’re thinking or feeling.
If you want to talk about faith, think of a creative thought stimulating question that will lead to it. Learn to ask for opinions instead of always giving your own. You don’t need to correct most misguided ideas. Instead, affirm your child for being insightful and thoughtful. Ch 4
4-Renewing your child's mind:
Share with your children the mind renewing things you do that they don’t see. What you learned from scripture, what and who you pray for, inspiring story you found online, a book you’re reading etc. Ch 5
5-Strengthening your child's faith:
Tell Bible stories etc but also tell your children your own life stories - childhood, parents and home life, biggest adventures, worst mistakes, most regretted missed opportunities, love story with your spouse, their birth, how you became a Christian, how you’ve grown in faith, and funny stories. Record them so they can listen again later.
Don’t read it like a boring textbook. Read with dramatic expression, timing, and emphasis. Don’t read too quickly or slowly. Vary the pace where needed. Give each character a voice and personality. Ch 6
6-Shaping your child's will:
The heart = grace, the mind = truth.
Shape their will but don’t try to control it.
Diligence - (steady, earnest, energetic effort.) internal matter of character, not quitting, endurance. Let them know you’re praying for them to develop it.
24 family “ways” (rules/mission statement). Statement of biblical principles to use in developing character in your children - kids memorized them. Use to affirm when they chose to be responsible or confront when they did not. Not to feel guilty. To let them assess their own progress and then encourage them to do better. Neutralizes the confrontational part of training the will. (See list below)
Child training toolbox - 24 ways, know child’s personality type. Doer, helper, mover, or shaker.
Charts to help children track their progress toward being diligent and making wise choices. Rewards for their goals are good incentives. Ch 7
7-Cultivating your child's character:
Choose character over confrontation - son realized boy bullying him was sad because his dad just left.
Beautiful music, pictures, literature.
Identify personality types, help kids understand them, none better than others.
Help them develop their capabilities then help them identify ways to use their skills to minister to others. Ch 8
8-Forming your child's imagination:
Expose to ideas and give opportunities to develop.
Children’s developing imaginations need to be fed to grow into mature imaginations that can anchor the deepest most meaningful concepts in scripture. Faith that is uninformed or uninspired by images, metaphors, symbols, and stories of God’s word is in danger of becoming unimaginative and unanchored. Weakened by an over reliance on reason. Adrift on a shallow sea of facts and propositions.
Henry David Thoreau - “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.“
Creativity increased annually to 1990, now steadily declining. Computers, video games, tablets, devices used by children. Degrades imagination by mental starvation.
Advertising, sensory impressions. Cluttered cognitive space. Restrict intake, consider it a treat. Only for use under your supervision.
Using screens trains children’s brains to want more of the experience. Screen engagement has a detrimental effect on children’s brain functioning and can act like an addictive drug. Some screens will grab your children’s total attention, turn off their imaginations, and fill them with empty clutter.
Make conversation about imagination.
Every day: writing - cool journal and nice pen, write something original or creative every day, fiction, fact, fantasy etc.
Drawing - sketch book, drawing pencils, and colored pencils, say sketch something you envision in minds, read in story, or see in nature. Real or made up.
Telling - set aside time for them to tell you stories, original, retelling history, narrating part of a book they’re reading, or a story idea they’re pondering.
Showing - let them demonstrate and explain something they’re working on, thinking about, or engaged in doing.
Have a box of ideas if they need one. Ch 9
Life giving parenting is not just about what you do but is mostly about who you are. It’s not what you do that defines who you are but who you are that defines what you do.
First step is to know yourself as a person. Becoming a biological parent doesn’t bring a mantle of maturity that fills you with wisdom and discernment. Godly parenting is a learned task.
Be your children’s advocate not their adversary. Draw their hearts to yours rather than bending their will to yours. Rather than a behavior cop you can be a heart counsel. Expect to find them doing good not bad.
Build your kids up rather than tearing them down.
Most of us live as if we know what the future holds. Do all you can to prepare them. Choose to invest your one life to give into the hearts of your children. Ch 10
Epilogue - Worry is a waste of time that stems from a lack of faith.
After kids were born, we still were seeking the kingdom but it was never to the exclusion of our children.
*List of 24 ways:
•Authorities
We love and obey our Lord, Jesus Christ, with wholehearted devotion.
We read the Bible and pray to God every day with an open heart.
We honor and obey our parents in the Lord with a respectful attitude.
We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.
•Relationships
We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness, and respect.
We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first.
We encourage one another, using only words that build up and bless others.
We forgive one another, covering an offense with love when wronged or hurt.
•Possessions
We are thankful to God for what we have, whether it is a little or a lot.
We are content with what we have, not coveting what others have.
We are generous with what we have, sharing freely with others.
We take care of what we have, using it wisely and responsibly.
•Work
We are diligent to complete a task promptly and thoroughly when asked.
We take initiative to do all of our own work without needing to be told.
We work with a cooperative spirit, freely giving and receiving help.
We take personal responsibility to keep our home neat and clean at all times.
•Attitudes
We choose to be joyful, even when we feel like complaining.
We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing.
We choose to be patient, even when we feel like getting our own way.
We choose to be gracious, even when we don’t feel like it.
•Choices
We do what we know is right, regardless what others do or say.
We ask before we act when we do not know what is right to do.
We exercise self-control at all times and in every kind of situation.
We always tell the truth and do not practice deceitfulness of any kind.
*Knowing your child’s personality- like getting glasses for nearsightedness - life comes into focus and things begin to make sense.
Educating the whole hearted child book is about personality.
Three primary elements of personality
Modes of thinking: looking for or at info
1-Investigation - seeking info to gain knowledge
•Investigating Facts - based on five senses, practical, routine, details, concrete, linear thinker.
•Investigating Insights - subjective, look for a better way, theory, big picture, abstract, global thinker.
2-Determination - sorting info to reach conclusions
•Determining by Logic - sort info based on impersonal logic, systematic, analytical, task oriented, value competence and being correct.
•Determining by Values - sort info based on personal values, relational, people oriented, value social skills and harmony in relationships.
Doer - Facts + Logic, industrious child who gets things done, “I can do that.”
Helper - Facts + Values, serving child who encourages others, “How can I help you?”
Mover - Insights + Values, inspiring child who influences others, “Let’s do it together.”
Shaper - Insights + Logic, imaginative child who conceives new things, “I have a better idea.”
Mental focus: Where you focus your mental energy (externally or internally) in addition to how you think.
1-Active - focus on people and events, think as they speak, more easily distractible, finish tasks quickly to move onto something else, verbal and outgoing, refuel mentally by being with other people.
2-Reflexive - focus on thoughts and ideas, think first then speak, strong concentration, slower to finish because perfectionistic, quiet and mysterious, refuel mentally by being alone.
Life orientation: do the work first then enjoy life or enjoy life first because work will always get done.
1-Time Oriented (TO) - needs predictability, order, structure, schedule. Motivated to move toward decisions and seek conclusions to know what to expect and plan for it. Get the work done first. Think EO are lazy and aimless.
2-Experience Oriented (EO) - needs flexibility, spontaneity, openness, curiosity. Lee options open and put off decisions to get more input and avoid wrong decision. They enjoy life first and think TO people are rigid and joyless.
8 personality combinations without TO and EO but can add it. Example: “a TO Active Doer” or “an EO Reflective Mover.”
Knowing personality is not about comparing or being better, it’s about appreciation.
“You cannot put into your children’s hearts what is not first in your own heart, and it will only get there through an active and purposeful relationship with God.”
“There is no place and no time when teaching children about God should not be happening.”
Open doors and windows to let God/light in, Holy Ghost is the vent - removes bad and brings in good. Ch 1
1-Numbering your child's days:
Set goals and make plans, help your kids to do so. Like family home evening/family council. Focus on positives. Ask open ended questions to get kids participation. Make light and fun.
Make the most of every opportunity.
Take time from the world for family in God.
“Parent with the end in mind. Make the most of the time you have to shape and influence your child’s heart and mind for God.” Ch 2
2-Nurturing your child's spirit:
Give your kids life “GIFTS” Grace, Inspiration, Faith, Training, Service.
Training is shaping or forming the heart.
Pray as couple about how to improve in areas lacking. Paul’s list of traits. Also Ephesians 6:4
Be excited when talking about scripture. Ch 3
3-Guarding your child's heart:
Be alert to negative influences on your children’s hearts. Children are easily influenced. Help them make sense of what they’re thinking or feeling.
If you want to talk about faith, think of a creative thought stimulating question that will lead to it. Learn to ask for opinions instead of always giving your own. You don’t need to correct most misguided ideas. Instead, affirm your child for being insightful and thoughtful. Ch 4
4-Renewing your child's mind:
Share with your children the mind renewing things you do that they don’t see. What you learned from scripture, what and who you pray for, inspiring story you found online, a book you’re reading etc. Ch 5
5-Strengthening your child's faith:
Tell Bible stories etc but also tell your children your own life stories - childhood, parents and home life, biggest adventures, worst mistakes, most regretted missed opportunities, love story with your spouse, their birth, how you became a Christian, how you’ve grown in faith, and funny stories. Record them so they can listen again later.
Don’t read it like a boring textbook. Read with dramatic expression, timing, and emphasis. Don’t read too quickly or slowly. Vary the pace where needed. Give each character a voice and personality. Ch 6
6-Shaping your child's will:
The heart = grace, the mind = truth.
Shape their will but don’t try to control it.
Diligence - (steady, earnest, energetic effort.) internal matter of character, not quitting, endurance. Let them know you’re praying for them to develop it.
24 family “ways” (rules/mission statement). Statement of biblical principles to use in developing character in your children - kids memorized them. Use to affirm when they chose to be responsible or confront when they did not. Not to feel guilty. To let them assess their own progress and then encourage them to do better. Neutralizes the confrontational part of training the will. (See list below)
Child training toolbox - 24 ways, know child’s personality type. Doer, helper, mover, or shaker.
Charts to help children track their progress toward being diligent and making wise choices. Rewards for their goals are good incentives. Ch 7
7-Cultivating your child's character:
Choose character over confrontation - son realized boy bullying him was sad because his dad just left.
Beautiful music, pictures, literature.
Identify personality types, help kids understand them, none better than others.
Help them develop their capabilities then help them identify ways to use their skills to minister to others. Ch 8
8-Forming your child's imagination:
Expose to ideas and give opportunities to develop.
Children’s developing imaginations need to be fed to grow into mature imaginations that can anchor the deepest most meaningful concepts in scripture. Faith that is uninformed or uninspired by images, metaphors, symbols, and stories of God’s word is in danger of becoming unimaginative and unanchored. Weakened by an over reliance on reason. Adrift on a shallow sea of facts and propositions.
Henry David Thoreau - “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.“
Creativity increased annually to 1990, now steadily declining. Computers, video games, tablets, devices used by children. Degrades imagination by mental starvation.
Advertising, sensory impressions. Cluttered cognitive space. Restrict intake, consider it a treat. Only for use under your supervision.
Using screens trains children’s brains to want more of the experience. Screen engagement has a detrimental effect on children’s brain functioning and can act like an addictive drug. Some screens will grab your children’s total attention, turn off their imaginations, and fill them with empty clutter.
Make conversation about imagination.
Every day: writing - cool journal and nice pen, write something original or creative every day, fiction, fact, fantasy etc.
Drawing - sketch book, drawing pencils, and colored pencils, say sketch something you envision in minds, read in story, or see in nature. Real or made up.
Telling - set aside time for them to tell you stories, original, retelling history, narrating part of a book they’re reading, or a story idea they’re pondering.
Showing - let them demonstrate and explain something they’re working on, thinking about, or engaged in doing.
Have a box of ideas if they need one. Ch 9
Life giving parenting is not just about what you do but is mostly about who you are. It’s not what you do that defines who you are but who you are that defines what you do.
First step is to know yourself as a person. Becoming a biological parent doesn’t bring a mantle of maturity that fills you with wisdom and discernment. Godly parenting is a learned task.
Be your children’s advocate not their adversary. Draw their hearts to yours rather than bending their will to yours. Rather than a behavior cop you can be a heart counsel. Expect to find them doing good not bad.
Build your kids up rather than tearing them down.
Most of us live as if we know what the future holds. Do all you can to prepare them. Choose to invest your one life to give into the hearts of your children. Ch 10
Epilogue - Worry is a waste of time that stems from a lack of faith.
After kids were born, we still were seeking the kingdom but it was never to the exclusion of our children.
*List of 24 ways:
•Authorities
We love and obey our Lord, Jesus Christ, with wholehearted devotion.
We read the Bible and pray to God every day with an open heart.
We honor and obey our parents in the Lord with a respectful attitude.
We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.
•Relationships
We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness, and respect.
We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first.
We encourage one another, using only words that build up and bless others.
We forgive one another, covering an offense with love when wronged or hurt.
•Possessions
We are thankful to God for what we have, whether it is a little or a lot.
We are content with what we have, not coveting what others have.
We are generous with what we have, sharing freely with others.
We take care of what we have, using it wisely and responsibly.
•Work
We are diligent to complete a task promptly and thoroughly when asked.
We take initiative to do all of our own work without needing to be told.
We work with a cooperative spirit, freely giving and receiving help.
We take personal responsibility to keep our home neat and clean at all times.
•Attitudes
We choose to be joyful, even when we feel like complaining.
We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing.
We choose to be patient, even when we feel like getting our own way.
We choose to be gracious, even when we don’t feel like it.
•Choices
We do what we know is right, regardless what others do or say.
We ask before we act when we do not know what is right to do.
We exercise self-control at all times and in every kind of situation.
We always tell the truth and do not practice deceitfulness of any kind.
*Knowing your child’s personality- like getting glasses for nearsightedness - life comes into focus and things begin to make sense.
Educating the whole hearted child book is about personality.
Three primary elements of personality
Modes of thinking: looking for or at info
1-Investigation - seeking info to gain knowledge
•Investigating Facts - based on five senses, practical, routine, details, concrete, linear thinker.
•Investigating Insights - subjective, look for a better way, theory, big picture, abstract, global thinker.
2-Determination - sorting info to reach conclusions
•Determining by Logic - sort info based on impersonal logic, systematic, analytical, task oriented, value competence and being correct.
•Determining by Values - sort info based on personal values, relational, people oriented, value social skills and harmony in relationships.
Doer - Facts + Logic, industrious child who gets things done, “I can do that.”
Helper - Facts + Values, serving child who encourages others, “How can I help you?”
Mover - Insights + Values, inspiring child who influences others, “Let’s do it together.”
Shaper - Insights + Logic, imaginative child who conceives new things, “I have a better idea.”
Mental focus: Where you focus your mental energy (externally or internally) in addition to how you think.
1-Active - focus on people and events, think as they speak, more easily distractible, finish tasks quickly to move onto something else, verbal and outgoing, refuel mentally by being with other people.
2-Reflexive - focus on thoughts and ideas, think first then speak, strong concentration, slower to finish because perfectionistic, quiet and mysterious, refuel mentally by being alone.
Life orientation: do the work first then enjoy life or enjoy life first because work will always get done.
1-Time Oriented (TO) - needs predictability, order, structure, schedule. Motivated to move toward decisions and seek conclusions to know what to expect and plan for it. Get the work done first. Think EO are lazy and aimless.
2-Experience Oriented (EO) - needs flexibility, spontaneity, openness, curiosity. Lee options open and put off decisions to get more input and avoid wrong decision. They enjoy life first and think TO people are rigid and joyless.
8 personality combinations without TO and EO but can add it. Example: “a TO Active Doer” or “an EO Reflective Mover.”
Knowing personality is not about comparing or being better, it’s about appreciation.
August 20, 2019
No matter what your family looks like, what you've done or where you've come from, or where you are in life right now, you can become a lifegiving parent."
I loved the principles throughout this book. It was exactly what I needed right now in my parenting journey. I needed to remember and relearn how to parent from grace and not frustration or anger. I needed to remember the gift and reward that parenting is. The Clarkson's do a beautiful job at reminding us parents what our job is...to raise godly, strong, independent adults and how to help, guide and shape them to their purpose, calling and passion.
What I loved was that it wasn't a book about discipline--they never directly talked about being pro or against spanking or such. It is about nurturing and shaping your child. I loved how everything was so grace-based--not letting the child get away with poor behavior but shaping them and directing them toward the better behavior.
In fact, Clay even directly addressed one of my major issues with so many other Christian parenting books when he said, "While statistics can legitimately tell a story that engages our minds and hearts, they can also be misused to generate a crisis that we need to fear." So many other Christians books quote the stats of kids who are growing up without such discipline or whatever...but usually those books are full of fear-mongering. And that angers me.
But I loved that this book never once pointed toward the fear that I'm sure all parents face--getting it wrong and screwing up our kids. Not this book. It encouraged and even gave many practical examples of how they did it (and all of their kids are thriving, creative and passionate adults).
Granted, I will acknowledge that some of the ideas were a little too pie in the sky for me. I'm not a fan of some of their creative ideas. And I do let my kids play on screens far more than he advises. But I'm okay with that. They time with other things far outweighs their time with screens.
Anyway, all in all, this is a FABULOUS book that I will go to again and again. Especially the appendixes where he includes a child-friendly version of the Myers-Briggs personality test to better understand your child. And he includes "Our 24 Family Ways." I love that they use the term "Ways" instead of "Rules" to create a more grace-filled approach. Same thing with the term "Shaping" their child's will through influence instead of controlling their behavior through punishment. What a mindset change it creates...and I LOVE it. I've already started implementing so many of these parent-tools, and I feel more at peace with myself as a mom and with my kids. And their behavior and hearts have already started to open up to me even more. Highly Recommend!
*Thank you to the publisher and author for a free copy of this book. My opinions are my own.
I loved the principles throughout this book. It was exactly what I needed right now in my parenting journey. I needed to remember and relearn how to parent from grace and not frustration or anger. I needed to remember the gift and reward that parenting is. The Clarkson's do a beautiful job at reminding us parents what our job is...to raise godly, strong, independent adults and how to help, guide and shape them to their purpose, calling and passion.
What I loved was that it wasn't a book about discipline--they never directly talked about being pro or against spanking or such. It is about nurturing and shaping your child. I loved how everything was so grace-based--not letting the child get away with poor behavior but shaping them and directing them toward the better behavior.
In fact, Clay even directly addressed one of my major issues with so many other Christian parenting books when he said, "While statistics can legitimately tell a story that engages our minds and hearts, they can also be misused to generate a crisis that we need to fear." So many other Christians books quote the stats of kids who are growing up without such discipline or whatever...but usually those books are full of fear-mongering. And that angers me.
But I loved that this book never once pointed toward the fear that I'm sure all parents face--getting it wrong and screwing up our kids. Not this book. It encouraged and even gave many practical examples of how they did it (and all of their kids are thriving, creative and passionate adults).
Granted, I will acknowledge that some of the ideas were a little too pie in the sky for me. I'm not a fan of some of their creative ideas. And I do let my kids play on screens far more than he advises. But I'm okay with that. They time with other things far outweighs their time with screens.
Anyway, all in all, this is a FABULOUS book that I will go to again and again. Especially the appendixes where he includes a child-friendly version of the Myers-Briggs personality test to better understand your child. And he includes "Our 24 Family Ways." I love that they use the term "Ways" instead of "Rules" to create a more grace-filled approach. Same thing with the term "Shaping" their child's will through influence instead of controlling their behavior through punishment. What a mindset change it creates...and I LOVE it. I've already started implementing so many of these parent-tools, and I feel more at peace with myself as a mom and with my kids. And their behavior and hearts have already started to open up to me even more. Highly Recommend!
*Thank you to the publisher and author for a free copy of this book. My opinions are my own.
June 6, 2018
"The Lifegiving Parent" by Clay and Sally Clarkson completes the "Lifegiving" trilogy that also includes "The Lifegiving Home" and "The Lifegiving Table" by Sally Clarkson. This particular addition focuses on parenting and can easily be read together by spouses, as opposed to others that Sally writes that are specifically geared for women.
If you want to get to the beating heart of being a lifegiving parent, you'll find it in opening your home to the love of God, the light of God, and the life of God. If you faithfully keep the symbolic door, windows, and vents of your home open, then your house will be full of God's love, light, and life. Lifegiving parenting is all about creating a home for your children that is loving, enlightened, and alive with the presence and life of God. (p. 16).
The book presents eight heartbeats of lifegiving parenting, including guarding your child's heart, renewing your child's mind, and cultivating your child's character. These heartbeats help give Christian parents a way to bring the life of God into the home, as opposed to simply exposing children to Christian activities and media. Clay writes the bulk of each particular chapter. Sally offers her reflections in a little section at the end of each chapter called "Momoirs". Each chapter concludes with some tips on how to practically bring each heartbeat into your own home.
I absolutely love everything the Clarksons write. They draw on years of marriage and parenting experience and manage to make everything incredibly relatable. While not everything they have done is practical to implement in my own home, I find my own wheels turning on how I can make things work in ways that suit my own family. This book is an outstanding treasure to add to anyone's parenting collection. As a bonus, they did a podcast series corresponding to the different heartbeats which was enjoyable to listen as I completed the chapters for some added insights.
(I’ve received this complimentary book from Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for a review. A positive review was not required and the views expressed in my review are strictly my own.)
If you want to get to the beating heart of being a lifegiving parent, you'll find it in opening your home to the love of God, the light of God, and the life of God. If you faithfully keep the symbolic door, windows, and vents of your home open, then your house will be full of God's love, light, and life. Lifegiving parenting is all about creating a home for your children that is loving, enlightened, and alive with the presence and life of God. (p. 16).
The book presents eight heartbeats of lifegiving parenting, including guarding your child's heart, renewing your child's mind, and cultivating your child's character. These heartbeats help give Christian parents a way to bring the life of God into the home, as opposed to simply exposing children to Christian activities and media. Clay writes the bulk of each particular chapter. Sally offers her reflections in a little section at the end of each chapter called "Momoirs". Each chapter concludes with some tips on how to practically bring each heartbeat into your own home.
I absolutely love everything the Clarksons write. They draw on years of marriage and parenting experience and manage to make everything incredibly relatable. While not everything they have done is practical to implement in my own home, I find my own wheels turning on how I can make things work in ways that suit my own family. This book is an outstanding treasure to add to anyone's parenting collection. As a bonus, they did a podcast series corresponding to the different heartbeats which was enjoyable to listen as I completed the chapters for some added insights.
(I’ve received this complimentary book from Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for a review. A positive review was not required and the views expressed in my review are strictly my own.)
April 17, 2020
This is an absolute first. I have never given any sort of parenting book 5 stars, because each book has so many little things that I can't agree with so it brings the overall rating down. This book though? Five stars all the way. I just regret that I didn't read it before now.
Broken down into sections that cover each aspect of parenting, this book looks at parenting through a Christian/Classical lens. It not only encouraged me to be a more diligent parent; it encouraged me to be a better reader and to work more on my walk with God. There is a strong Charlotte Mason theme, which I appreciate, and there is a whole chapter on imagination which I loved. So many parenting books don't delve into that aspect of childhood, and I feel they're missing out. While this book would have probably gotten 4.5 stars from me without that chapter, having a chapter on encouraging a child's imagination was brilliant.
This book generally references ages 4-14, but both of my children are younger than that. Yet, I think it is still applicable.
5/5 stars. I think every Christian parent should read this book.
Broken down into sections that cover each aspect of parenting, this book looks at parenting through a Christian/Classical lens. It not only encouraged me to be a more diligent parent; it encouraged me to be a better reader and to work more on my walk with God. There is a strong Charlotte Mason theme, which I appreciate, and there is a whole chapter on imagination which I loved. So many parenting books don't delve into that aspect of childhood, and I feel they're missing out. While this book would have probably gotten 4.5 stars from me without that chapter, having a chapter on encouraging a child's imagination was brilliant.
This book generally references ages 4-14, but both of my children are younger than that. Yet, I think it is still applicable.
5/5 stars. I think every Christian parent should read this book.
May 19, 2018
I have to start this review by saying that I do not like to write in books. I don't underline nor do I highlight on a regular basis, yet some books compel me to mark them up and this is one of those books!
As a homeschooling, Christian parent, I am well-acquainted with Clay and Sally Clarkson and their influence in this sphere. Often parenting books bore me or make me feel unequipped as a parent, but this one was so encouraging and inspiring.
The book is divided into two parts: 1) Heartbeats of Parental Lifegiving and 2) Living as a Lifegiving Parent. I just love the concept of "heartbeats"....the very thing that gives proof to our being alive! There are so many ways we can ensure our parenting style is breathing life into our children - from nurtuting our child's spirit to renewing our child's mind - from cultivating our child's character to forming our child's imagination. Clay and Sally lay out eight different heartbeats and share scripture, personal stories and wisdom for how we can incorporate these lifegiving practices into our family.
As I mentioned at the beginning, this book is already underlined and highlighted and I imagine coming back to it again and again in the next several years.
As a homeschooling, Christian parent, I am well-acquainted with Clay and Sally Clarkson and their influence in this sphere. Often parenting books bore me or make me feel unequipped as a parent, but this one was so encouraging and inspiring.
The book is divided into two parts: 1) Heartbeats of Parental Lifegiving and 2) Living as a Lifegiving Parent. I just love the concept of "heartbeats"....the very thing that gives proof to our being alive! There are so many ways we can ensure our parenting style is breathing life into our children - from nurtuting our child's spirit to renewing our child's mind - from cultivating our child's character to forming our child's imagination. Clay and Sally lay out eight different heartbeats and share scripture, personal stories and wisdom for how we can incorporate these lifegiving practices into our family.
As I mentioned at the beginning, this book is already underlined and highlighted and I imagine coming back to it again and again in the next several years.
April 27, 2022
As I started this book I found it overwhelming. Clay and Sally are both very type A. The amount of lists and charts in their home as they raised their children is intimidating to say the least 😆 (and I love lists). It did get less intimidating as it went.
As someone who leans quite strongly toward reformed theology, I could not agree with much of this book or at least their theology behind their actions. Regardless, I appreciate the intentionality this book teaches and did think it was worth the time and plan to read Sally's The Lifegiving Table.
My favorite quote from the book,
"Some suggest that nearly all children start kindergarten full of creativity, but by 2nd or 3rd grade many lose the creative impulse. Why? ...
Most agree that childrens' need to conform to the expectations of teachers and classrooms trains them to be compliant, not creative.
"Your home should be known, not for conforming to strict rules and parental expectations, but for its love, freedom, creativity, and childlike faith."
As someone who leans quite strongly toward reformed theology, I could not agree with much of this book or at least their theology behind their actions. Regardless, I appreciate the intentionality this book teaches and did think it was worth the time and plan to read Sally's The Lifegiving Table.
My favorite quote from the book,
"Some suggest that nearly all children start kindergarten full of creativity, but by 2nd or 3rd grade many lose the creative impulse. Why? ...
Most agree that childrens' need to conform to the expectations of teachers and classrooms trains them to be compliant, not creative.
"Your home should be known, not for conforming to strict rules and parental expectations, but for its love, freedom, creativity, and childlike faith."
April 20, 2018
I received 3 chapters from the publisher on this wonderful book by one of my most favorite authors on parenting, motherhood, and Christian living. The principles for life in this book will not only permeate your parenting but also just your daily life as you seek to serve the Lord and glorify Him in all that you do. As always, Sally and Clay share bits of wisdom and nuggets of profound truths that you can camp out on let them help you to see your personal testimony while parenting, strengthening you and encouraging you to being the best leader, encourager, and guide to your child in the Christian life. There is practical know-how that is conveyed through story and real life experiences, shared with a gentleness and inspiration that is missing in to today's culture. This book will transform the family for the better.
April 23, 2018
Clay and Sally have written an amazing book with The Life Giving Parent. Honestly, I think I can give a lot of my other parenting books away because this book gets to the heart of children, which is teaching them to love Jesus in a world that is messy, chaotic and unsettling. There isn't a formula or method, but this is a lifestyle and I love how they approach their parenting, just like they approach their dinner table. Which is you haven't read any other books by Sally, I highly recommend them! This book is all about passing on a legacy of Christ to children and it doesn't matter what age, you can pass this on to your children. I love how relational Clay and Sally are as people and I think it makes all the different in their approach to parenting. I love this book, just like I loved the Life Giving Table. I highly recommend this book. I give this book 5/ 5 stars. A favorable review was not required.
March 3, 2020
I try to save 5 star reviews for books that were transformational in my life. Where has this book been hiding in the Christian culture?
Clay and Sally Clarkson mix biblical worldview saturated in scripture with developmental and psychological knowledge and provide balanced wisdom on how to “train up a child in the way they should go”
Clay, a seminary grad and pastor, lets scripture drive this entire book and gives theological and practical wisdom. Each chapter ends with a story told by Sally of how the topic of the chapter played out in their life. They have many other parenting books including one on discipline and I plan on reading all of them.
The chapter on renewing your child’s mind based on Romans 12:1-2 alone is worth the purchase of this book.
Clay and Sally Clarkson mix biblical worldview saturated in scripture with developmental and psychological knowledge and provide balanced wisdom on how to “train up a child in the way they should go”
Clay, a seminary grad and pastor, lets scripture drive this entire book and gives theological and practical wisdom. Each chapter ends with a story told by Sally of how the topic of the chapter played out in their life. They have many other parenting books including one on discipline and I plan on reading all of them.
The chapter on renewing your child’s mind based on Romans 12:1-2 alone is worth the purchase of this book.
March 18, 2023
The Life Giving Parent is a parenting book with a Biblical worldview. While it felt very basic at times (you have to have a personal relationship with the Lord to teach your children about the Lord, etc ) it was factual and included a lot of practical things that the Clarksons did in their family. It's not exactly a "how to" but is somewhat written that way - although they do say at the beginning & the end that they're not writing a "how to" book. I had some takeaways but didn't feel all their family activities were perfect fits for my family. Also, it may be because I'm consuming a lot of content like this lately, but it didn't feel super original or new. Still a good book, but I don't feel like I learned a lot.
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July 6, 2023Faithfulness is in the pursuit, not reaching the goal.
No ultimate goal means no path forward
Prov 4
Guard relationship, appetites, and influences.
Are you a primary relationship in your child’s life?
Your children will tend to value what you value.
Learning never exhausts the mind.
Discipline includes correction and direction.
Spiritual discipline, verbal discipline, and behavioral discipline.
A garden does not become beautiful by accident.
Character is a true, working moral compass
Cultivate identity, personality, capability
It’s not what you do that defines who you are, but who you are that defines what you do - Clay Clarkson
Avoid fear and formulas. Choose love and freedom.
Be an advocate not an adversary.
No ultimate goal means no path forward
Prov 4
Guard relationship, appetites, and influences.
Are you a primary relationship in your child’s life?
Your children will tend to value what you value.
Learning never exhausts the mind.
Discipline includes correction and direction.
Spiritual discipline, verbal discipline, and behavioral discipline.
A garden does not become beautiful by accident.
Character is a true, working moral compass
Cultivate identity, personality, capability
It’s not what you do that defines who you are, but who you are that defines what you do - Clay Clarkson
Avoid fear and formulas. Choose love and freedom.
Be an advocate not an adversary.
January 10, 2021
This is my favorite parenting book that I’ve read so far. I listened to the audiobook (which has a good narrator) and would like to get a physical copy of the book as well to underline and highlight. I like how this book begins with the end in mind of wanting to be a “life giving” parent. There are lots of practical examples, no dry lists of “things to do”, but instead guidance on how to coach and keep your child’s heart, and having the sound mindset that you are a parent, your children are good, your God is faithful, and your time belongs to God.
July 16, 2022
Entertaining: 2/10
Transformational: 6/10
Rating influenced by the mediocre reader on the audiobook. The Clarksons' ministry has been formative for our homeschool and family, I've been to several conferences and read many of their books. This one flows with their very consistent positive (and non-denominational) messaging about parenting and its joys. Being proactive to engage the children's hearts, minds, and palettes, and providing nice "how to" recommendations is my favorite part of this series.
Transformational: 6/10
Rating influenced by the mediocre reader on the audiobook. The Clarksons' ministry has been formative for our homeschool and family, I've been to several conferences and read many of their books. This one flows with their very consistent positive (and non-denominational) messaging about parenting and its joys. Being proactive to engage the children's hearts, minds, and palettes, and providing nice "how to" recommendations is my favorite part of this series.
April 13, 2025
I really enjoyed this, but unfortunately had to rush through it due to the library borrow deadline; but this is a book I would certainly read again, even purchase to savor and reference the content. I found it most helpful in connecting the imaginative, story-focused childhoods that I love about the Clarksons, with a biblical and spiritual character focused upbringing. It’s philosophical more than practical, but that’s because they believe parents have that responsibility and opportunity to apply it in whatever ways they need to.
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