The Benzo Devil: How I Recovered From Prescription Drugs

by R.W. Pharazyn

‘...all I wanted was a good night’s sleep.’ Rob’s journey began the day he walked into a medical centre and walked out with a prescription for Ativan, one of the world’s most commonly-prescribed drugs. This potentially highly-addictive benzodiazepine drug would change his life forever. It would lead this ‘accidental addict’ to a 13-year chemical dependency and a life eroded by its soul-sapping effects. This real-life account details the effects the drug had on his daily life, then plunges you into the merciless abyss of detox, tapering withdrawal and borderline madness that followed when Rob finally decided to free himself from the chemical clutches of ‘the Benzo Devil’. However, this book is definitely not a ‘misery memoir’ with only horror and no solutions. Rob’s story and the hard-won wisdom he shares is a light for millions of others accidentally caught up in the grip of benzodiazepine drugs like Ativan, Valium, Klonopin and Xanax. The book also provides a comprehensive plan to follow during your self-detox, tapering withdrawal and the eventual freedom to live a full and happy life. Rob sleeps well these days. His journey into hell and back eventually led to him being pill-free and becoming a highly successful businessman— proof that a great life after addiction can be achieved if you will only take that first step.

Genres: Nonfiction

302 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 4, 2017

About the author

R.W. Pharazyn has been involved in radio and media for 25 years both in his home country of New Zealand and Australia.
He’s best known as a former top rating talkback radio host and ‘rock jock’ but has also been a successful newspaper publisher.
He swears that retirement is for fools and horses and instead chooses to use the term ‘refocusing’ when it comes to taking on new projects.
He loves wine, craft beer, good food, happy women and Paris (not necessarily in that order). He is grateful to be alive.
The author can also be found at Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/benzodevil/

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

With the USA opioid crisis declared a national epidemic, and the use of prescription and illicit drug use increasing each year on a global level: “The Benzo Devil: How I Recovered From Prescription Drugs” by R.W. Pharazyn arrives in a timely manner. After taking benzodiazepine medication for over a decade, Pharazyn realized the medication that was supposed to work to help him had only made his problems worse, he was addicted to his medication and was be forced to endure a painful and traumatizing withdrawal to be drug-free.

While living and working in Byron Bay, Australia, Pharazyn sought the help of a physician after his marriage ended in a painful divorce. Prescribed Ativan for his acute anxiety symptoms, he was given no information by medical professionals about the potential risk of addiction.
As a popular radio host and broadcaster, he enjoyed a large following and fan base. Unable to enjoy his success, and suffering from sleeplessness and acute anxiety-- he quit his job . This would be a reoccurring coping strategy throughout the book, yet he triumphed over his addiction. Pharazyn had a surprising breakthrough in New Zealand and became a millionaire-- when he took over a near bankrupt newspaper and turned it into a highly profitable enterprise that employed an increased number of staff.

It wasn’t Pharazyn’s style to go into much detail about the roots of his depression and anxiety or family problems. The support he found in 12 step groups was vital in his recovery. It was apparent he cared deeply for others who are struggling to be free of alcohol and/or drug addiction; and offered many suggestions from his own experience. Improved methods of treatment and current information are widely available online. The strategies he used to free himself from addiction did not involve costly rehab or hospital ward treatment programs, and offered hope for those with limited or no resources. This is really an inspirational story of addiction and the journey to wellness. **With thanks and appreciation to The Acorn via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

[Dimitris Passas (TapTheLine) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a personal account of the writer's battle with one of the most horrendous types of drug addiction, that is the benzodiazepine dependence. Benzodiazepine is the basic component of a large group of pharmaceuticals, usually prescribed by doctors in order to treat psychological problems such as anxiety and panic attacks as well as insomnia and, sometimes, depression. Those drugs are truly potent and initially seem to be the solution for the anxiety/depression patients but in a relatively short span of time the human body becomes physically dependent on them and the sufferer himself becomes immersed in the infernal world of drug addiction. The reader follows step by step R. W. Pharazyn personal story from the beginning, which covers the first part of the book, and the problems he had to deal with panic attacks which led to his
first prescription of Ativan (the brand name of Lorazepam benzodiazepine) till his final recovery in the third part of ''The Benzo Devil''. R.W. Pharazyn adopts a plain narrative style intending to prioritize the realistic descriptions of every stage of addiction as well as a number of related issues and background information on the subject of chemical dependency. The writer also, in the fourth and final part of the book, gives the addicts tips which could help them to get through the -notorious- benzodiazepines withdrawal as well as suggests relevant help agencies and websites. You have to keep in mind that this is NOT an easy or enjoyable read and the reader who, for any reason, is not specifically interested in the book's subject will find it hard to engage with Pharazyn's story. Overall it is a useful book which offers a glimpse of hope for all the people who fight drug addiction throughout the world.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received this book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I started the book last night and as of right now, I'm not sure I can finish it. The book is divided into 4 sections: prior to the addiction, the addiction, after the addiction, and resources for others to seek help. On just about every page or so it seems, there's a reference to something later in the book. If you followed the section outlines, you would already know that the author plans on discussing his 13-year addiction to benzos and the fallout after, it doesn't need to be brought up to remind the reader time after time in hopes that the reader will hang around long enough.

After the 2nd or 3rd instance of this, I couldn't keep reading. This set up makes it hard to fully focus on what the author is describing at the time.

I'm going to try to finish the book and will update my review if, and when, I complete it.

[Swamp Ophelia · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book contained important information on the dangers of Benzos, but I found I couldn't connect with the author on his personal story. The author attended NA, but I think he got stuck on the early steps of taking a moral accounting and admitting the wrongs you did.
The author mentioned several times that he wasn't going to go into detail on certain experiences under the guise of not wanting to scare anyone away from giving up the Benzos. To me, it just seemed like he was avoiding, which is a typical behavior of someone still actively in addiction. Hey, if I'm going to do something, like give up a drug, I want to know the whole truthful information. Don't hold back or sugar coat things in the name of "protecting" me. The author's technique of withholding information mirrors that of the doctor, who didn't give him the truth and the full information on the Benzos.
I don't buy it when the author says that he NEVER would have taken a Benzo if the doctor had told him of the addictive potential. Before ever taking a Benzo, the author seemed to use a good amount of alcohol, marijuana, and other substances. (In fact, he seemed to continue using a good amount of alcohol throughout the book.)
I truly believe that in his attempts to rid himself of the horrible insomnia, anxiety, and panic, he still would have used Benzos to some extent -- many people would. I can't fault anyone for turning to Benzos to quickly relieve extreme distress, but just be honest. It's a lot easier to totally blame your problem on someone else, like a doctor, rather than to take an honest look at yourself and how you got into that situation.
The other problem I had with the personal part of the story is that the author seemed to be very superficial. He seemed to equate success with having a lot money, a fancy house, and "pretty woman." In fact, the way that he talked about women in the book told me that he has a problem relating to women in a healthy way. (His biography on websites has changed the wording to "happy women" rather than the wording in his book that says, "pretty women.")
I'm glad the author beat the Benzos, but I think he still has a lot of work to do on issues related to trauma, addiction, and personal and spiritual growth.

[Christi · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Benzo Devil by R.W. Pharazyn is the story of Rob Pharazyn, a man who becomes addicted to the highly-addictive, yet commonly prescribed drug, Ativan, and his journey from addiction to recovery.

Reading Rob's account was difficult for me, and brought up a lot of memories of my own journey. After starting the prescription drug Cymbalta, without researching it first, I went against doctor's orders and quit the medication cold turkey. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. All of the experiences that Rob had to suffer through mirrored my own experience and the memories came flooding back. I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemies.

Coming off of many prescription drugs can be compared to someone coming off of heroin, with side effects including "brain zaps" (or electric shock sensations), nausea and vomiting, anxiety, and insomnia, to name a few.

Though painful to read, I commend Mr. Pharazyn for accounting his journey in such great detail. He describes the effect of recovery on every aspect of his life and shows how things can get worse before they get better, but they do get better! I can see how The Benzo Devil can give those who want to break their prescription addictions hope but Rob does not sugar coat a thing. His storytelling is raw and real but shows the good with the bad, which is both sad and refreshing at the same time.

I will say, in all honesty, this book was one that was hard for me to get through and was a struggle to finish. The Benzo Devil is eye-opening and is a story I think everyone should read, as hard as it is to read. It is so important to research the prescriptions that are prescribed to you before you begin them, read the side effects carefully, and make an educated decision for yourself. Knowledge is power!

*I received a complimentary copy of this book from The Acorn and NetGalley in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. All opinions are my own.

[April Forker · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was sent this book by Net Galley for an honest review - thank you Net Galley!

I am always very interested in any book involving addiction as I am a recovering alcoholic/addict myself. I have read a TON of these books in addition to living it! With this particular book I have a lot to say - some negative and some positive. It was a quick read for me but I do have to admit to skimming through some pages as I feel some of the information was repetitive and some of it for me I just didn't care to read like the detailed information about coming off of bentos. If you are someone trying to do that you might get a lot out of that section but I didn't really need that info.

So the positives - I enjoy the authors sense of humor and I really enjoyed hearing his personal story of his life and everything that went along with it. I was glad at the end of the book he did say that his experience isn't like everyone's and that you cannot do recovery or coming off of meds alone. Those things are very true.

Some things that I didn't necessarily like or agree with - I felt like he was all over the place especially in the beginning of the book. He was jumping from his childhood to later in life to discussing doctors back to childhood...it was discombobulated in my opinion. I don't agree with his constant negative talk of the medical field. Is there an issue with the medical field and prescribing meds? Absolutely. Without a doubt. But that isn't the case for every medical professional. On this same line, some of that comes down to patient responsibility in asking questions about the drug they are being prescribed. For someone like me who is an addict, it is very much up to me to NOT take a prescription for these types of drugs. Period. I realize his experience was quite some time ago and there wasn't as much information but for today's purpose, I believe patient responsibility is important. I liked that he talked about NA meetings but some of his information isn't exactly true like the fact that he says in the steps it says to not have a relationship for two years. That is absolutely not true. That is a suggestion from people in the program but nowhere in the 12 steps does it state that. That leads me to the fact that a reader must realize that there is a difference between someone who is an actual addict/alcoholic versus someone who just becomes physical addicted to a medication. For someone who is an actual addict/alcoholic there might need to be a different path taken which should be discussed with a professional. Also, he says he was drinking while taking benzos which is highly suggested against so if you do take these drugs make sure you are following all of the instructions.

I would recommend this book maybe to someone who is wanting to come off of benzodiazepines who is only merely physically addicted to them. If you are suffering from actual addiction or alcoholism though this book might not be your best bet to read. In saying that though I don't think you should ever try to come off of a benzo without talking to the person who prescribed them to you. It can be very dangerous as discussed in this book.

[Maria Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Pharazyn’s personal accounting of his thirteen year addiction to Ativan and the gross misconduct and negligence of the medical community at large in irresponsibly prescribing this and other psychotropic med categories for long term use with no education, willingness, or ability to taper in a way that would provide the least amount of upset to the patient. You probably will not be surprised at yet another story about rampant medical misconduct. It seems like we all have a relatable story to tell.

Pharazyn cites his motivation to tell his personal story and the hell he went through to get clean as a beacon of hope to all those who suffer and a cheerleader’s mantra that “if I can do it, so can you.” This is largely a story of recovery. Pharazyn roughly outlines his treatment protocol but makes sure to mention several times that a taper plan has got to be customized to the individual. Gender, weight, drug of choice, dosage, half-life, tolerance, etc. all need to be taken into account in order to ensure the best chance of success and the least risk of relapse and withdrawal symptoms.

Perhaps the best things Pharazyn does aside from his honesty in telling his story is to spell out the long term effects of benzodiazepines, something your doctor will NEVER do and offer the kind of resources you will need if you ever find yourself addicted to these little pills. He specifically mentions the foremost expert in benzodiazepine withdrawal, Professor Heather Ashton and whose papers on the subject provide comprehensive information on these types of drugs. Links to her website and works are provided in the back of the book. She herself ran a successful benzo withdrawal clinic for twelve years and is the author of The Ashton Manual.

Pharazyn’s book isn’t the flashiest or the best written but it does offer much needed advice and information about a problem that has reached epidemic proportions around the world. He does it with honesty, integrity, and hope for a better existence.

BRB Rating: Own It. (You may not be addicted but I'll bet you know at least one person who is).

[Dwight Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a magazine writer and editor in a land down under I was honoured to be called the Hunter S Thompson of the Southern Hemisphere...sans the truly wretched excesses. Which I think makes me eligible to make commentary on RW Pharazyn's The Benzo Devil. This is a very important and engaging book on a number of levels. An entertaining read about an interesting and talented man and his plethora of adventures...in some ways a walk down memory lane of shared events and periods of history. Has a Hunter S Thompson/Bill Bryson feeling and turn of phrase. Definite entertainment value...but on another level is the crazily outrageous and dangerous influence the Benzo Devil has played in this journey. In this area RW Pharazyn has amassed a significant amount of insight and factual accounts of what these drugs can do to ones heart, soul and sanity. The catch phrase How I Recovered From Prescription Drugs could well be How I Survived...and in that sense it is both a miracle and call to action that there IS hope, salvation and opportunity once the Devil has been put in its place. The experiences happened in many different 'worlds' which makes it a work that can be read by anyone and anywhere. Hunter S ended up in a rocket ship...RW Pharazyn could have followed in his jet stream but instead turned anxiety and trauma well and truly around. Part of the benefits of this work is the amassed references to authorities on the subject. It is well and truly revealing how quickly physicians can decide to make these part of patients' lives without really knowing the consequences. BUY THIS BOOK NOW.

[Cindy Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a true story of a young man who, in seeking care for his anxiety and sleeping problems, is prescribed a benzodiazepine drug called Ativan. Despite a series of side effects that accumulated over time, he kept taking them. The situation got worse and he realized that he needed to get off the drugs.
The process was horrifying, and enduring. Things seemed to get worse way before they got better. He rockets from bad situation to bad situation, taxing his relationships with friends and family. He moves back and forth between New Zealand and Australia and that health care system. He visits the characters of Narcotics Anonymous and many others along the way.
He does prevail after many ups and downs, and ends up in a good place.
The book moves quickly and the author is very articulate about this terrifying journey. He is quite heartfelt and sincere, and it is easy to understand his misery.
The book is a wonderful warning about the use and dependence on drugs that seem initially as they would be good for you.
The only issue I had was his constant reference to why he was writing this, for the benefit of his audience. I am very happy he chose to share his story, the good, bad and awful and only need to be reminded of his motivation to write a few times, not quite as constantly.
It is comforting to know that someone can tough it and and end up better off than he began.
I am very glad he wrote it and I had the opportunity to read and learn from his story.

[Dede Janzen · Rating 2 out of 5]

First, I must admit that I am a registered nurse. I was excited to read this book to see if it was something that I could refer to anyone that may need it. It is good if they are looking at what possible side effects benzodiazepines can have. The author definitely has an opinion of the healthcare community making people take these products and making them addicted. This may just be my interpretation. I stopped reading it as I couldn't get past the negativity about the medical community. I feel medical personnel are really trying to treat people with their best interest in mind. At least in the community I am in. If you are addicted or have a friend or family member that are addicted to benzodiazepines they may want to check this book out.

[Jen Juenke · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great little book about the addiction of Benzos....Ativan and Valium class drugs. It was eye opening because I never knew the side affects and that a person COULD be addicted to these medications. The other shocking thing was the withdrawal from these drugs.
Plus the author goes into his own struggle, some of his addiction, and how he got off the drugs. Its a great book that needed to be published!

[April Forker · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was sent this book by Net Galley for an honest review - thank you Net Galley!

I am always very interested in any book involving addiction as I am a recovering alcoholic/addict myself. I have read a TON of these books in addition to living it! With this particular book I have a lot to say - some negative and some positive. It was a quick read for me but I do have to admit to skimming through some pages as I feel some of the information was repetitive and some of it for me I just didn't care to read like the detailed information about coming off of bentos. If you are someone trying to do that you might get a lot out of that section but I didn't really need that info.

So the positives - I enjoy the authors sense of humor and I really enjoyed hearing his personal story of his life and everything that went along with it. I was glad at the end of the book he did say that his experience isn't like everyone's and that you cannot do recovery or coming off of meds alone. Those things are very true.

Some things that I didn't necessarily like or agree with - I felt like he was all over the place especially in the beginning of the book. He was jumping from his childhood to later in life to discussing doctors back to childhood...it was discombobulated in my opinion. I don't agree with his constant negative talk of the medical field. Is there an issue with the medical field and prescribing meds? Absolutely. Without a doubt. But that isn't the case for every medical professional. On this same line, some of that comes down to patient responsibility in asking questions about the drug they are being prescribed. For someone like me who is an addict, it is very much up to me to NOT take a prescription for these types of drugs. Period. I realize his experience was quite some time ago and there wasn't as much information but for today's purpose, I believe patient responsibility is important. I liked that he talked about NA meetings but some of his information isn't exactly true like the fact that he says in the steps it says to not have a relationship for two years. That is absolutely not true. That is a suggestion from people in the program but nowhere in the 12 steps does it state that. That leads me to the fact that a reader must realize that there is a difference between someone who is an actual addict/alcoholic versus someone who just becomes physical addicted to a medication. For someone who is an actual addict/alcoholic there might need to be a different path taken which should be discussed with a professional. Also, he says he was drinking while taking benzos which is highly suggested against so if you do take these drugs make sure you are following all of the instructions.

I would recommend this book maybe to someone who is wanting to come off of benzodiazepines who is only merely physically addicted to them. If you are suffering from actual addiction or alcoholism though this book might not be your best bet to read. In saying that though I don't think you should ever try to come off of a benzo without talking to the person who prescribed them to you. It can be very dangerous as discussed in this book.

[Shadira · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found reading RW Pharazyn's hair raising and brutally honest, life and death encounter with prescription drugs very entertaining from a readers perspective. Just when you thought this guy could take no more - another new low in human experience was plumbed. It was entertaining also in a perverse way for someone with no connection to addiction of this kind to realise there were probably many close calls where ones self or those close could be snared by medical incompetence and worse. I enjoyed the writing style and made the connection to this and the writer's previous life as a DJ.

Pharazyn not only kicks his addiction,but becomes a successful businessman and human being again.Also,this book contains much valuable advice,information and insight into this public health disaster.This is one of the most socially important books to come out in a long time.Buy this book for anyone you know who is using,or considering using these poisons.If you are trapped by this scourge yourself,this is an inspirational story of one man's refusal to quit,and his exhortation that we can also recover and thrive.Very good read,lot's of good info.Thanks to the Author.Telling this story took guts

The reader follows step by step R. W. Pharazyn personal story from the beginning, which covers the first part of the book, and the problems he had to deal with panic attacks which led to his
first prescription of Ativan (the brand name of Lorazepam benzodiazepine) till his final recovery in the third part of ''The Benzo Devil''.
R.W. Pharazyn adopts a plain narrative style intending to prioritize the realistic descriptions of every stage of addiction as well as a number of related issues and background information on the subject of chemical dependency.
The writer also, in the fourth and final part of the book, gives the addicts tips which could help them to get through the -notorious- benzodiazepines withdrawal as well as suggests relevant help agencies and websites. You have to keep in mind that this is NOT an easy or enjoyable read and the reader who, for any reason, is not specifically interested in the book's subject will find it hard to engage with Pharazyn's story.
Overall it is a useful book which offers a glimpse of hope for all the people who fight drug addiction throughout the world.

[Michelle B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rob writes an honest, disturbing and yet hopeful and inspiring account of an addiction to, and recovery from, prescription drugs.
When suffering from anxiety in the midst of a busy and successful career in radio, Rob sought advice from a GP who after a very short appointment immediately him prescribed 3x1mg per day of Lorazepam (Ativan), a benzodiazepine, which is the equivalent of taking 30mg of Valium (Diazepam) per day! That is a huge dosage of a highly addictive drug. What made it worse, was that Rob was never advised by this doctor, nor any other professional, that it was a highly addictive drug (even though the addictive qualities of the drug were well known within the medical profession at that time).
Rob quickly became addicted to the drug and in the Benzo Devil he details the struggle with Lorazepam and how he triumphed over his 13 year addiction.
Whilst it absolutely appalling how Rob was treated by the medical profession, this is a real book of inspiration and success. It should offer hope for anyone who is struggling with addiction (either to prescribed medication, or I would say, any other type of drug addiction) in that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Whilst I would not advocate ‘getting clean’ in the way that Rob did (indeed Rob says in the book it is not advisable and reproduces advice from respected professionals on the right way to reduce down the dosage of any medication rather than immediately go ‘cold turkey’ which can be dangerous) it is an absolute credit to Rob that he was able to do this and to achieve and maintain drug free status.
Rob deserves every happiness in life that he has now achieved and long may it continue.
Thank you to NetGalley for a Kindle copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Nick Piper · Rating 2 out of 5]

Same stuff, different title

While I couldn’t be happier for the author that he was able to emerge from benzo tolerance (we don’t use the “a”word anymore) so successfully. I’m sure he knows that his story is not the norm. Emerging sane is the best most any of us can hope for, emerging a millionaire is only a fairy tale for most. There are so many books out there that are basically a carbon copy of the book Mr. Pharazyn has written. I have read many of these books and I’ve never taken away anything that I didn’t learn in my first book “I’m dancing as fast as I can” by Barbara Gordon. If this is your first book on the subject, save yourself some time and make it your last. Everything you need to know is here. Maybe someday there will be something new to write about, but for now, books like this one are all the benzo tolerant have. Many thanks to Mr. Pharazyn for sharing his story.

[Cheryl Bellingham · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book came across brilliantly it gave me an insight of the journey from addiction to being benzo free. It’s not a journey I have experienced but I really felt authors pain and strong will to battle his way through. It’s a book that has certainly left its mark and hopefully will encourage me to be more empathic and open to seeing the person separate to the illness. Thank you for giving such an honest account

[Lucinda Leblanc · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bad read

Not very helpful if you're in tolerance, going through withdrawal or easily triggered. The writing is all over the place. This is triggering, hard to follow, and written poorly. I'm sure there are better options out there.

[DENISE LEE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book

[Janice · Rating 3 out of 5]

An absorbing read for sure. The author describes his 13 years of hell of addiction to, and the difficult recovery from, prescription drugs. Well-written and insightful, this book serves as both a warning to the general populace and as encouragement to those already addicted. The only problem I have is that the message is often lost that there are cases where such drugs are needed. For example, all the current publicity about the evils of opiates overlook (and may well harm) the patients for whom the opiatesgive much better quality of life free from severe chronic pain. Overall, a worthwhile read.