Blessed Are the Unsatisfied: Finding Spiritual Freedom in an Imperfect World

by Amy Simpson

Christians often hear the idea that following Jesus means that we should be living a life of full satisfaction. How many of us actually experience that kind of life? Amy Simpson wants to debunk this satisfaction myth in the church. After forty years of walking with Jesus, she writes, "I am deeply unsatisfied not only with my ability to reflect Jesus, but also with the very quality of my intimacy with him. I strongly suspect that the abyss of my nature has not been entirely satisfied by Jesus." Hers is a freeing confession for us all. Simpson explains that our very unsatisfaction indicates a longing for God, and understanding those longings can bring us closer to relationship with him. And that is where true spiritual health and vitality reside. Read on to discover anew what it truly means to be satisfied in Christ.

Genres: Nonfiction, Faith, Theology

192 pages, Paperback

Published February 13, 2018

About the author

Amy Simpson is a passionate leader, communicator, and coach who loves to encourage people to discern and fulfill their calling in this life.

She works as an author, a personal and professional coach, a speaker, a freelance writer, and an editor. She has been writing for 20 years, authoring numerous resources for Christian ministry, including her newest book, "Anxious: Choosing Faith in a World of Worry," and the award-winning "Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission."

As a coach, Simpson is trained and certified (CPCC) through The Coaches Training Institute, the industry’s most rigorous and highly respected training program. She also holds an English degree from Trinity International University and an MBA from the University of Colorado and has more than 20 years of experience as a creative professional, corporate leader, and executive.

A former publishing executive, Amy Simpson serves as senior editor of Leadership Journal. Her background includes a unique career path through both the editorial and business sides of publishing, including for-profit and nonprofit organizational leadership.

She has published articles in Leadership Journal, Christianity Today, Today’s Christian Woman, Relevant, PRISM Magazine, Her.meneutics, ThinkChristian, Christian Singles, Group Magazine, and several others. She has worked for Tyndale House Publishers, Group Publishing, Standard, Gospel Light, Lifeway, Focus on the Family, Christianity Today, and others.

She is married with two children and lives in the suburbs of Chicago.

Reviews

[Lori Neff · Rating 5 out of 5]

A meaty book. I underlined so much of it - she writes some real zingers that leave you thinking. As I read, I found some freedom and new ways of thinking about unsatisfaction.

[Annette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: Recommend.
Audience: Christians who are given a reminder that ultimate satisfaction is not on earth, but while living this life we are to live with purpose by sanctification.
Summary:
Amy Simpson hopes this book will clear-up the belief that by being a Christian this automatically means we have satisfaction. She refers to this belief system as a myth.
She mentions several well-known pastors and speakers in the Christian community who teach happiness and satisfaction in this life for a Christian is to be expected.
Simpson clears up the difference in the words, dissatisfaction versus unsatisfaction. To be dissatisfied is a negative. Whereas, to be unsatisfied means we are not satisfied at this point in earthly life, but we will be satisfied in heaven.
We are to focus on God and His will for our lives. This does not mean we will not have suffering. And things will not always work out the way we had hoped. And we will have disappointments. Yet, Jesus equips us with His peace.
Simpson encourages us to embrace the unsatisfied life.
My Thoughts:
When I began reading this book, I had two thoughts. My first thought is this is not a theme in a Christian nonfiction book I’ve read: embracing the unsatisfied life. Secondly, what exactly is Simpson proposing and what does this theme mean?
I didn’t have to search long to find my answers. Simpson reminded me that I am, “made for another world, and God wants His people to long for it.” Page 21.
I become wrapped up in my daily life of family, hobbies, news events, weather, and forget that I am, “made for another world.” My true home is heaven. In this earthly life, I will never have true and fulfilling satisfaction.
Simpson remarks on people who put all their energy in having satisfaction in this life. They are like “spiritual consumers.” They are constantly shopping for a fix of satisfaction.
Chapter 4 is pivotal for me. God uses sadness to shape me. I am to grieve the sadness, because grieving, “keeps my heart open and tender.” But don’t focus on the pursuit of always being happy and satisfied. Instead, focus on, “living with purpose.” This type of living and pursuit is personal growth.
Chapter 6 digs deeper in pursuing the purpose filled life. “The ultimate form of personal growth is sanctification, the process through which God transforms us, more and more, into the image of Christ.” Page 121.
Further teachings are on gratitude, and making an impact with our purpose and legacy.
The last chapter is “Satisfaction is Coming.” The following quote is a clincher for me.
Lest you believe this book is about lowering your expectations of God, let me say clearly that this book is about living unsatisfied not because God will disappoint us but because he will not. Living unsatisfied means living in hope of satisfaction far beyond what we are capable of wanting now. The blessings of unsatisfaction are not only for now. We live in hope deferred. Page 164.
“Exercises” are at the end of each chapter. These are questions following up on the chapter topics. These questions are personal and meant to stir the heart towards growth. At the end of the book is a “Discussion Guide.” I feel this book is adequate for individual reading and study, but also for a small group discussion.
Amy Simpson is a deep thinker. This is a big reason why I love her books. So far, I’ve read: Anxious (review pending), and Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission. Troubled Minds is her first book. It is a starting point for giving a strong explanation for her mission and theme in writing. A family members mental illness deeply impacted her childhood.
Amy writes on her website and in periodical writings about this subject; and, has given interviews about the church’s role in helping people who have a mental illness: How can the church minister to a group of people and their families who have been placed in the background?
Mental illness is a subject that was not talked about in church for a long time. I’ve noticed a growing number of churches who have support groups for life situations: life groups that are like small families, divorce care, and grief support.

[Heather]

This book was so wonderful and thought-provoking. I have a digital copy and I highlighted so much in it that I plan to read it again in a physical copy so I can underline and tab pages to come back to!

I would recommend this to anyone who is looking to grow and learn.

* Thank you to Amy Simpson, the publisher and Netgalley for providing a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Michele Morin · Rating 5 out of 5]

8 Blessings of the Unsatisfied Life

Amy Simpson noticed early on that the tidy claims of Christianity were not lining up with the reality she was living at home. Suffering from the impact of her mother’s serious and debilitating mental illness, her family was certainly not strolling toward heaven with all their needs met and a smile on their faces. In fact, even though they seemed to be “doing the Christian life” according to all the patterns and prerequisites, their family was always just shy of “normal” and the provision they experienced always just short of enough. Unsatisfied with government cheese and feeling deprived on every level, Amy’s childhood was characterized by unmet longings and the dream of a “normal” life.

At this point, standard issue story-telling practices beg for an ending tied with a bow: college, marriage, a successful career, and a loving family of her own–all a straight arrow toward deep satisfaction. However, in Blessed Are the Unsatisfied: Finding Spiritual Freedom in an Imperfect World, the reader is caught up in paradox, for even though many of Amy’s personal and professional goals have been met, she confesses that she still lives “with a kind of unsatisfaction that will not be lifted in this life.”

If this is (secretly) your experience as well, find companionship with the writer of Ecclesiastes and take hope from these words from the author:

“Jesus doesn’t fulfill all our longings in this life. Instead, he offers us his peace. Jesus does not remove us from the fog of death and the ongoing consequences of human rebellion against God. He does not give us a ‘get out of suffering free’ card.” (4)

The moments of satisfaction we experience on this planet are transient at best. Here, we live in the tension of embracing the blessing of an unsatisfied life in which contentment lives alongside longing, and where we rest and rejoice in the given without succumbing to a Pollyanna-ish form of optimism.

Living unsatisfied is acres and acres apart from living dissatisfied, for nothing is ever acceptable to the chronically discontented soul. “Dissatisfaction is an active–sometimes even purposeful–absence, rejection, or refusal of satisfaction in a context where satisfaction is expected. It breeds discontentment, contempt, and a feeling of emptiness. And it is miserable.” By contrast, an unsatisfied life combines acceptance with anticipation in an “embrace of the God-shaped vacuum in us, . . . a healthy hunger that is content to wait for the feast.” (41)

With this mindset, Amy Simpson shares 8 blessings that accompany the unsatisfied life:

1. The Blessing of Need
Unsatisfaction is a reminder that we need God. No matter how gifted or “together” I am, my self-sufficiency is insufficient for living Christ-like and for managing the disappointments that come. Moses knew it and tried to warn the nation of Israel:

“Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied,then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery…”

2. The Blessing of Perspective
If I can be satisfied by clicking “Add to Cart,” I will not go looking for answers beyond my next purchase. However, living in an awareness that there is NOTHING (even on Amazon!) that will slake my cravings and fill my emptiness, my ears are open to the voice of God, and my heart is looking for answers in the intangible Truth of Scripture.

3. The Blessing of God’s Heartbeat
My longing heart is the puzzle piece that will connect with the big picture of God’s family and with humanity at large, a collection of longing people, all with their own disconnected edges. When I stop longing for a better world and miss the needs of others, I’m a corner piece, hanging off the edge of the picture and missing the truth of God’s great love and HIS ache for the disconnected and the hurting.

4. The Blessing of Focus
If you’ve heard the plaintive refrain of U2’s “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” and identified with the serial disappointment of chasing after the visible and the temporal, you know the importance of turning our eyes toward the unseen–“for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

5. The Blessing of Company
My husband and I have tried to portray this truth to our kids with the old adage: “People who are all wrapped up in themselves make a pretty small package.” And it’s obvious: if I’m satisfied with my own company and that of a few safe others, I’ll never venture into the unknown. Living unsatisfied pushes me into community.

6. The Blessing of Growth
Back in the 90’s my co-workers and I rolled our eyes at employee meetings that were basically pep rallies for the latest Continuous Product Quality Improvement initiative. As annoying as institutional rah-rah-rah can be, the notion of continuous improvement is a line from the playbook of Scripture and the unsatisfied life of the Apostle Paul: “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:14)

7. The Blessing of Vision
Amy recalls a joint project in which her own predominantly white church partnered with a predominantly African American church with both congregations enjoying “fellowship” staked out on opposite sides of a cafeteria. She remembers thinking that this was unnatural and wrong . . . but inertia won out and she stayed in her seat instead of reaching out and mingling. I want to be unsatisfied with “as is” so that I will keep dreaming about how things could be.

8. The Blessing of Anticipation
Every once in a while my boys will ask with a sleepy voice, “What’s for breakfast tomorrow, Mum?” I’ve stopped asking them why they want to know, because I remember from past experience: they want to know what they have to look forward to in the morning, and when you’re a teen boy, food is a pretty big deal. Anticipation is risky, but if I remain immune to the sadness of loss that comes with death or if I fail to enter into the reality of God’s promises, still pending fulfillment, I may fall prey to the short-sighted notion that redemption is limited to what my eyes can detect today and that this temporary world is my real home.

Sustainable Faith Is Expectantly Unsatisfied
The Sermon on the Mount, with its pronouncement of blessing upon the most unlikely of people, lands like an indictment on the ears of those who prefer to thrive on their own terms. Sometimes it’s easier for us to lower our expectations and to live disappointed and without hope than it is for us to embrace an uncomfortable hope. The truth is, however, that the only sustainable Christian life is one in which we give up the chase, embrace delayed gratification, and lean into the blessings of living unsatisfied.

Many thanks to IVP Books for providing a copy of this book for my review which is, of course, freely and honestly given.

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that I knew from the title I would probably really resonate with, because feeling unsatisfied or disappointment is something that I have often struggled with throughout my lifetime. And I did resonate with the book and the concept that we are not supposed to feel satisfied. The author's thesis is that feeling unsatisfaction is actually how we are propelled forward to seek more meaning, fulfillment, and contentment in our life and faith.

One thing that makes this book helpful is how the author shares from her own life the struggle with unsatisfaction. She possesses insight into this issue and how to work toward a better, deeper meaning of life. Included in each chapter are suggestions for things to do to help grow in your faith and how to deal with an area of unsatisfaction.

I found the book to be a blessing as I considered how to think about these issues and work through them. There were several chapters that I read at times when they blended and agreed with sermons at church or other books I am reading to point me to new truths or think about ways to improve my life and faith. I will continue to work through the process over the next couple of months as my small group will be using this book for our weekly discussions for the next 9 weeks. I think my small group, and others who choose to read this book, will resonate with the idea of living an unsatisfied life, and how it can propel us forward to greater growth and work in the world and in our faith.

I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for a fair review.

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the privilege of working with Simpson while she was an editor at Christianity Today and I have deep respect for her as a woman, as an editor, and as a writer. She's a deep thinker and not afraid to challenge her readers. Here's an example: "Something is wrong if we feel deeply satisfied, or believe we are satisfied in this life. Show me those who are completely satisfied in their intimacy with God, who do not long for much more, and I'll show you people whose knowledge of God barely scratches the surface, who have lost sight of heaven, who have forgotten the first song their soul ever learned to sing, who are much too easily pleased."

Here's a few more quotes:
Pleasure makes a wonderful gift—and a terrible god.
Living unsatisfied ... is not about suppressing our appetites; it's about keeping our appetites sharp in anticipation of a banquet.

Rather than making us feel like there's something wrong with us if we're not constantly happy and satisfied, she gives us permission to long for more.

[Matt Hill · Rating 3 out of 5]

want to slot this somewhere between 3 and 4 .. i mainly agreed with everything the author said and she often had some helpful illustrations, turns of phrase, citations, etc .. one of the more helpful aspects of this book is trying to consider the differences between key ideas like satisfaction, dissatisfaction, unsatisfaction, contentment, happiness, meaning, fulfillment, etc.

my "issue" w the book is that the organization of it is not immediately apparent and a lot of chapters seem to tread similar content .. granted, these ideas are all related, but on the whole the impression left is that this is a book about very few core ideas, plenty ideas you've heard before, etc. etc.

it's not the author's fault, but when i read books like these i usually unfortunately react a bit like "yeah, i get all that, but what do i *do* ?" .. i react that way here as well . .

still tho, overall a good and solid read . .

[Blake Western · Rating 5 out of 5]

Contrary to what many Christians often say, the author contends that we should not be fully satisfied in this life. The satisfactions and happiness are only temporary. There is a "not yet" to the Christian life. There should be unsatisfaction, not dissatisfaction in our lives. This keeps us living in anticipation and promotes spiritual growth. This would be a most helpful book to give to a new Christian so they will not have unrealistic expectations. It would also be a wonderful book for more mature Christians to realize that many of their unmet longings are not signs of weakness or failure.

[Rashida B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book arrived at a time when I needed it most. Not only for myself but others as I disciple and share the Gospel. Amy managed to put into context what I'd been feeling in my heart, yet lacked the words to articulate. We do ourselves and others a disservice by wearing the, "I'm fine mask". Not too long ago, I posted a message on IG that, trusting God doesn't mean pretending everything is fine. The feedback from that post, made it apparent that this type of authentic message is what we're longing for. We can rest in the tension of being unsatisfied.

[April Yamasaki · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first heard the title of this book, I was immediately intrigued. Of course, our world is imperfect. And who wouldn’t want to find spiritual freedom? But how does that relate to being unsatisfied, and where is the blessing in that?

This is an excellent book to ponder alone or with a small group. I’m still mulling over what the author says about living unsatisfied and yet being content; accepting that life does not always go my way, yet still being able to experience joy and fulfillment; realizing that this life is not all there is, yet still finding meaning and purpose in it. My full review is: Blessed Are You Who Live Intentionally Unsatisfied.

[Ally · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. If only every Christian could read this. I think this book completely disarms the 'prosperity gospel' without directly doing so, which was neat. Also, if you're an INFJ you might love this author :)

Contentment, mental health, relationships, & our intimate need to be with Jesus AND his creation. This book is a gold mine, and I think it pairs well with Dave Ramsey's "More Than Enough" if anyone is struggling with the feeling that they need more or are never fulfilled with what they have, or what they want.

[Kathy Ericson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very valuable to read. It presents the ideas in an understandable way and does not shy away from tough topics of the Christian faith. It has the potential to help sort out beliefs that don't always make sense and strengthen others. And the author uses contextual scripture references throughout. There are also exercises at the end of each chapter, which help soak in the knowledge and apply perspective change to daily living. This is also useful for book study.

[Maribeth Van loon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely worth reading as a fleshed out reminder of how to live unsatisfied but not dissatisfied and in hope of ultimate true satisfaction. I intend to read again as a study using the included study questions.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book!!!!! By far my favorite. I found it useful as an encouragement in my spiritual walk and think it would be great as a devotional. I couldn’t put it down once I started it.

[Brandon Rathbun · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of those books that might have been better as a long blog post. That being said, I enjoyed the read and I think the message is really important.

[Luke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have enjoyed all of her books and this one is also very good and encouraging. One to set aside to re-read. Can't get no, satisfaction... That kept running through my mind.

[Stephen Bedard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many Christians strive for satisfaction and then are disappointed and experience disatisfaction. This book argues instead for unsatisfaction. I found her ideas to be very freeing.

[Gaby]

Leaving this unrated because its difficult to read something I read to be informative not to be entertained by

[Tony Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was introduced to Simpson's work through her book Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church's Mission. As a pastor who has battled bipolar disorder, I felt liberated reading her passionate and compassionate call to open our pulpits and pews to the voices and service of persons with troubled minds. As the child of a father/pastor and mother with mental illness, Simpson speaks as one who knows both the failings and blessings of how believers within.the body of Christ can and do respond to persons who often fall through the cracks.

Blessed Are the Unsatisfied is not specifically about mental illness and the church's mission, but it is inclusive of it and addresses a whole lot more. It is a deeply personal book written by a woman of faith who profoundly feels the spiritual longing that leaves us unsatisfied in this life. Simpson appeals to readers who have been let down by false promises of the world, particularly the false promises of a health, wealth, and prosperity so-called gospel. Being a disciple is not being a passive recipient of what we most want. It is following Christ, often where we don't want to go.

Blessed Are the Unsatisfied may not make you feel better about your faith, but it will help you honestly deal with your feelings about yourself, your world, and your hope. God does not often give us what we want when we want it. Yet, God always gives us what we need when we need it. And in God's own time, we will be discover that our puny satisfactions pale in comparison to the great blessings ahead.