What do you think?
Rate this book


232 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1979
Sashenka put her hands on her thighs and squeezed them with her fingers, feeling a sweet, ticklish sensation. Then she ran her palms under her armpits, touched her erect, springy nipples and quietly laughed at the sudden surge of happiness. She put on a pink silk bra and lacy panties, took a cool, sleek slip that smelled of perfume and held it against her face, then dived into the slip, shuddering at the tender touches of the silk against her skin, glanced at her little shoulder with a little sky-blue ribbon stretched over it, and rubbed her cheek against the ribbon. All these clothes had once belonged to her mother, but now they fitted Sashenka perfectly.
The desire to be loved is inherent in everyone, but there are strong, high-strung, sensitive natures, in whom the longing for someone else’s love is so great that they lose the ability to love anyone themselves, and in order to constantly feel the strength of the other person’s love for them, they make that loving person suffer. These unfortunates don’t become like this in a single instant, all of a sudden – one vivid example of such a character is Judas, the Hebrew youth who was misunderstood or maligned by the four evangelists – Christ’s most handsome, most passionate, and most beloved disciple.
What happens to people, why they act one way and not another toward someone else, is still hard to understand after all, no matter how well it might all have been studied, how primitively easy it is to explain and how thoroughly the answer has been learned. There is always a little “but” about liking and disliking, running throughout that infinitely unclear world that is called human relationships, in a world full of fleeting mirages and chain reactions, in a world where living organs – blood, lymph, nerve fibers, seminal fluid, bile – interact in a mysterious sequence with the phenomena of the earth’s magnetism, the sun’s emanations, and the phases of the moon. The human ocean is the most amazing, fathomless, and unknowable.