Date Night on Union Station

EarthCent Ambassador #1

by E.M. Foner

"Good SciFi comedy is as rare as hen's teeth. This was a fun read."

Kelly Frank is EarthCent's top diplomat on Union Station, but her job description has always been a bit vague. The pay is horrible and she's in hock up to her ears for her furniture, which is likely to end up in a corridor because she's behind on rent for her room. Sometimes she has to wonder if the career she has put ahead of her personal life for fifteen years is worth it.

When Kelly receives a gift subscription to the dating service that's rumored to be powered by the same benevolent artificial intelligence that runs the huge station, she decides to swallow her pride and give it a shot. But as her dates go from bad to worse, she can only hope that the supposedly omniscient AI is planning a happy ending.

Genres: Science Fiction, Romance, Humor, Fiction, Fantasy, Space Opera, Science Fiction Romance

188 pages, Paperback

First published May 3, 2014

About the author

I wrote Date Night on Union Station while taking a break from work on a science fiction epic I've been struggling with for years. The goal was to cheer myself up and to find out if there is still an audience for a science fiction comedy that gets its laughs from dialogue and funny situations rather than from gross-outs and shocks. As many readers have pointed out, the EarthCent series could be rated PG under the old fashioned system, no bloodshed, no graphic sex, no four letter words. And after years of imagining a galaxy for my epic in which multiple human civilizations are at war with each other, it did me a world of good to write about a galaxy where most people are just trying to make a living and find some joy in life. I received so many requests to extend the Date Night universe into a series that I put aside my epic for an extended period to write a sequel, Alien Night on Union Station. The events take place five years after the conclusion of Date Night, and the plot involves a mix of business, diplomacy, gaming and family relations. As a bonus, we finally get to meet Kelly's mother. After the positive response to Alien Night, I wrote a third book for the series, High Priest of Union Station, which is currently in the editing stage and due out in mid-October. I just started a book that extends the EarthCent galaxy with a different mission and cast of characters, though they may intersect at some point.

Reviews

[Richard Derus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3* of five

Entertaining, I guess, but insubstantial. Perfect plane read, or vacation, or other distracted times because not much will demand your concentration and the words flow by while retaining your attention.

The Eternal Verity Generator is permanently stuck in the On position here: that little girls dream of weddings and adults are clueless and dating is flat-out awful are all trotted out. For my part that was a tiresome and ultimately deadening error. But the Stryx, the omnipotent AI aliens, are a cliche that was amusing and fairly well-handled here. An example of Stryx thinking:

It’s easy enough to measure job performance, but a person could be a highly professional worker and still feel no loyalty to humanity or to EarthCent. The lower salary for the executive-track positions helps filter out those who are just in it for the money.

The cover teases but the book doesn't deliver a cheesy smexy space romp. The verdict from me, all things considered, is:
~meh~ plus...go enjoy it if silly and slight is what you're in the mood for. Women are cautioned against expecting the tropes deployed to amuse very much.

[Charles van Buren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kitchen Gadgets

Verified Purchase
This review is from: Date Night on Union Station (EarthCent Ambassador Book 1) (Kindle Edition)

Yes, kitchen gadgets. You will have to read the book to find out what they have to do with: multiple sentient species; a very strange dating service; disastrous first dates; diplomatic incidents; sabotage and much more. All of this is told in a simple easy to read style which reminds me of Dorothy Gillman's Mrs. Polifax books. As long as I'm plugging other authors. The humour is not the dry, oddball wit of Douglas Adams. Nor the laugh out loud zany style of Dave Freer in his Rats, Bats and Vats series. It is more akin to the subtle humor of Timothy Gwane's Chronicles of Old Guy books.

[Trevor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up while it was free on Kindle expecting a quick, fun read. I definitely got one. Date Night on Union Station was a refreshing, comedic take on Sci-Fi that I haven't seen lately in the genre. Parts of it reminded me of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, one of my favorite Sci-Fi Comedies. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone looking for a fun read and I'll be checking out the rest of the series in time.

[Leiah Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer." - Rita Mae Brown

"“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.” ― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

OK, Ignore. The. Cover. It has nothing to do with the book. It is silly, and over the top, but you know what works? This is a funny book! I mean, really funny, really interesting, and creative. I guess they were going for the funny on the covers of this seven (so far?) books. But Kelly, the heroine of the tale, is nowhere as freaky trampy looking as the female on the cover! Anyway, that is beside the point . . . ignore how freaky-deeky the woman looks (she wears a black dress for her dates, kids! LOL)

But anyway. Here is the deal – this book is Funny! Did I say that already? Yep. Funny. Kelly Frank is a great character. Strong, patient, funny (yep, there is that word again) she is struggling, and struggling hard, just to survive. Living in space, paid less than a janitor, she is still doing her best and giving her all for her position as Ambassador for Earth on Union Station. The Earth is flat broke, and most of its population is off on other worlds, thanks to the Stryx Intelligence, a highly advanced race of artificial intelligence. A race who gathers up the dross of the universe, playing nursemaid to the galaxy’s lowest achieving lifeforms – a group Earth is definitely a part of. It is pretty hard to keep up when everyone has better technology, cheaper manufacturing, spaceships – well, you get the picture. But on Union Station humans are welcome, and finding a new life is, well, interesting!

I enjoyed this first in the series a lot. Relaxing, humorous, and truly sweet. No erotica, nothing rough, just a really fun book. If you want to relax and laugh out loud, pick this up. It’s PG rated, and so cute!

[T00zday · Rating 1 out of 5]

YUCK! People like the story? Thank goodness it was short because I found it horrible.

For the record, I don’t recommend this book AT ALL.
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Spoiler alert below!
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The poor heroine, Kelly is manipulated by everybody in it. I wanted to murder her best friend's kids every time they were on page.
The Stryx who pay her so little that she has to sleep on the floor of her office. The dating service that sets her up as bait to be kidnapped so they can catch people in the act.
Then the good guy the story is set up for her to end up with implies she is a prostitute on their first date ? And at the end of their first date she is tipsy and tricked into getting married in the hallway by an Elvis impersonator. There is zero romance in this story. It wasn't funny or interesting.
Kindle Unlimited
Not recommended. Hard pass.

[K.T. Katzmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Earth's low-paid ambassador must juggle an awful dating service subscription with the whims her mysterious robot bosses and interstellar diplomacy. If Isaac Asimov wrote a romantic comedy, this would be it.

Seriously, it really reminded me of things like Foundation or I, Robot in that each chapter has a serious problem that our protagonist has to accomplish by trickery, bluffing, wheeling or dealing, but never violence. That's a real Golden Age of Science Fiction mentality. It's also a fun world with interesting world-building any amusing character bits.

Ends a little abruptly, but this is one of those that I instantly bought the sequel to after finishing. And, I suppose, it's entirely appropriate for the genre.

[Leo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a hard book knowing quite how I feel about it. In one hand I found it to be a fun space romp but in another I wasn't overly attached to the story. Quite mixed feelings while listening to the book. So my exact rating is 3.5 stars

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted something light-hearted, something sci-fi, an antidote to the grimdark that seems to be de-jeur amongst popular genre fiction at the moment. That's the mood I was in when I picked up Date Night on Union Station to listen to, and to be honest I wasn't expecting a great deal. It looked romancey, and with the name of the book (I mean date-night, come on), I wasn't sure i'd get all the way through it.

But I have read romances that I have enjoyed, or at least not despised, and I have been so burned out on the usual I gave it a try. And stumbled on a world of hilarious science-fiction gold.

This book was just wonderful start to end, including the narration. It is definitely part science fiction, part romance, but with huge lashings of Wodehouse style witticisms and situations (something that is unlikely to be accidental, given that one of the AI's has chosen to call himself Jeeves.)

It doesn't take long for the pattern of events, the way in which the AI are manipulating the humans (through the titular "dates") to become obvious and the ending wont come as a surprise to anyone paying attention, but even that didn't spoil the fun. I found myself rooting for the main characters, looking forward to their inevitable meeting, and excitedly anticipating each new ridiculous situation the AI's cook up for the hapless humans.

I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good slice-of-life story, but anyone who, like me, is a fan of both well characterised science fiction and wodehouse owes it to themselves to read this one.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wait! Yes, YOU! I think you'll love it!

I got the book because a reviewer's headline said "Last time I'll judge a book by it's cover." Damn glad I did. A truly enjoyable read. Well written with excellent character development. You get to know them and like them. And though there are quite a few side characters the author takes the time to write them fully. It's a fun read! I'm very glad that there's a sequel because even though it's a full story, I want to know what's next. I do hope you enjoy this book. I certainly did.

[Lena · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was everything it said it would be: good sci-fi romantic comedy with a happy ending. It was short, catchy, and even had some good sci-fi ideas I'd never read before - all without ever forgetting that its prime directive was to keep you smiling. Now I want to read them all because how can you eat just one skittle?

In the most general terms this book is about 3.5 stars but, unless I hated it, I prefer to base my stars on genres. This is the best of the sci-fi romantic comedy genre. Five stars.

[Laz the Sailor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a cute story of a couple of misfits on a giant space station, managing their way through minor pitfalls and even smaller triumphs. Well written and clever in places, the story moves along nicely.

This is the first in a series of short stories. I may read the next one when I need something light and cheerful.

[Lyndi W. · Rating 2 out of 5]

You jump back and forth each chapter between the two main characters until they finally meet at the end. Interesting way to do things, but the ending is so incredibly ridiculous that it ruins the whole thing. These people don't even know each other but they get married in an alley while walking home at the end of their date. The book loses a whole star for that.

The other issue is that the author very obviously had an idea of How Things Work in this world they've created. But they did not do a very good job of explaining it at all. I'm not even sure theoretical physicists could have made sense out of some of these explanations. And things were explained very matter of factually, not convincingly or in an educational sense. It wasn't so much explained to you as told to you. "This is how it is, period." The literary equivalent of "Because I said so." But way more complicated and using words you have to look up in the dictionary.

Aside from that, it was an engrossing little drama that had just the right amount of humor and intrigue to make up for the lack of romance throughout the first 95% of the book. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it, but I don't regret reading it.

[Deena · Rating 2 out of 5]

So not only will I read pretty much anything IA writes, apparently I'll also read pretty nearly anything I. recommends - which is how I wound up reading this kindle freebie today.

It wasn't bad; the world was nicely imagined, if somewhat superficial (inventing names doesn't equal world-building depth. Sorry.). I liked Kelly and Joe, despite the predictability. I don't know that I'd bother with another one, but it was cute, for very quick and lite.

[K.M. Shea · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are certain kinds of books I adore that you just don't see that often. Date Night on Union Station is one of the sadly rare humorous sci fi books that is sprinkled with romance and adventure. It's soft sci fi--so you never feel like you're drowning in science terms--and the characters are so vivid you feel like you really get to know them. I love it, and I can't recommend it enough!

[Glen · Rating 2 out of 5]

In a version of outer space that is mostly run by robots, two mismatched people subscribe to a dating service that knows the subscribers better than they know themselves. Hilarity theoretically ensues.

Readable, but not very funny, really.

[Nooilforpacifists · Rating 4 out of 5]

Talk about a rushed ending! But an amusing two-hour read. Kind of like "Parents Trap," only on a space station, with aliens as puppetiers.

[Phrodrick slowed his growing backlog · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is something about 2 staring E. M. Foner’s Date Night on Union Station (EarthCent Ambassador Book 1) that feels like taking a shot at Bambi. The concept is wonderful. What is dating like in an unlimited universe? There is a rich field for imagination and some neat ways to satirize the life on earth’s upper middle class contemporary dating scene. It not so much that Foner fails, it is that this is bland. On the page there is nothing overtly naughty and much of the suggestive stuff is only slightly more so than a typical 1950’s TV comedy. So just barely more edgy than The Many Loves of Dobey Gillis. Parents I think you can look the other way if your tweens are reading this. It may even be a fair warning about just how strange the dating scene will be.

Plot? Umm yeah there is one, sorta. We are on a remote Space station where and up and coming Earth Diplomat, Kelly Frank is attempting to find romance via an alien operated super computer dating service dating service. In between and during dates, she is confronted with a variety of challenges, but none of them seem to require anything like actual study or hard work. All work related problems will solve themselves or go away. Finding romance abides.

For the male perspective we have Joe McAllister an ex space mercenary now dealer in space junk. He is also an adoptive father and has his chances to be somewhat heroic. Again this is not about danger it is about dating.

There are some smiles to be had and Mr. Foner has a rich imagination. His failure is that he has little taste for either sustained narrative tension or hard biting satire. His world has potential such that a more convinced fan want to read follow on volumes. Date Night is not bad it is bland.

[james · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just reread this initial foray into the EarthCent series by Foner. It was delightful the first time. The second, equally so. Best described as a clean for all ages piece of fiction with witty quips peppered throughout. And "Date Night" picks some of the most outrageous cases for 'blind' dates to make some folks feel better about their worst ever dates. But given the omniscient Stryx AI runs the dating service, each somewhat disastrous hook-up fulfills a moderately hidden agenda to shaping outcomes for these newly introduced characters. Great story.

[Randy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What's it like to use a dating service on a space station where there are many varieties of sentient beings? This story was a real hoot with lots of zany encounters as two people try to find a mate. As you might expect they both find someone. Mr. Foner has written three more books that continue the tale, and I'm going to read them. If you like sci-fi with humor, you'll enjoy this one.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this little sci-fi romp on Union Station. The characters were a little two dimensional and could use some fleshing out, but I did like them. The story was amusing and well written. The only thing that was not so great about this book was the end. It ended really abruptly and it didn't really give a good sense of the main characters triumphing over troubles to finally meet each other on their date. It would have been better to give a better ending with them meeting and dating for awhile. There wasn't enough time between Kelly and Joe for there to be any kind of connection or chemistry between them. That would have made the story even better and would have wrapped up the end nicely. I didn't like that Kelly and Joe got married randomly after their date. It felt very rushed and after such a lead up with the rest of the book, was a major disappointment. Also it seemed out of character for Kelly to just jump into something like that while realizing that she was a little drunk, especially after fighting so long to not be attached.
Overall 3 out of 5 stars, with a star taken for the rushed ending that sort of ruined the lead up of the rest of the book. Even with the crappy ending, I will be reading the next book in the series.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s Next Stop Wonderland IN SPACE!

Kelly and Joe have never met. (Or have they?) Neither of them have been on a date in… a while, so they are using a dating service run by alien technology – and proceed to each go on a montage of bad blind dates with all sorts of people – and when you live on an intergalactic space station that’s a central hub for all sorts of commerce, politics and travel, the variety of types are quite broad. Think of it as New York meets Deep Space Nine, run by Dr. Who.

It’s a 1990’s RomCom using the props and settings of a 1980’s SciFi show, complete with the cute kids and the dog you get in both genres.

There’s more diversity here then you see in most human-centric Sci-Fi stories, and more optimism given the lack of either huge wars and evil plans, just regular folks trying to make rent, but also a lot less arrogance, given the backstory that humans became interstellar thanks to some “remedial help” from some Superior Beings.

The advanced beings, called the Stryx, run the universe like a nursery school teacher running a playground – the teacher makes sure everyone gets equal access to the toys, is fairly hands off but has set boundaries, and will wade in if little Suzy starts hitting Bobby with a toy truck. They are also the ones responsible for the dating service and they are willing to admit matching up humans has been the first real challenge they’ve had in millennia.

The dating service turns out to be the Stryx killing two birds with one stone as most of Kelly’s dates turn out to have ties to her job helping to run the sector. The dates turn out to have links to exposing knockoff luxury goods, kidnapping rings, smuggling trades, among other illegal activities.

Kelly is understandably miffed her dates keep turning into work.

The story is silly and satiric and funny and actually fairly G-rated. Only two things drew me out of the story:

One was Kelly’s oddly human-ist attitude. ‘Oh no! I’m on a date with an alien!’ ‘Oh no! I was flirting with an android!’ Sheesh, Kelly, aren’t you supposed to be in a post-species age?

Second, the salary issue hit a nerve. It was beyond arrogant for Kelly’s bosses to flat out ignore her valid points about her excellent performance and her non-reimbursed job-related expenses.

Still, overall the book was a great read and a very fun twist on the romance genre.

One of my favorite parts was all the theme restaurants the blind dates take place at. My favorite is a toss-up between the very romantic Spanish restaurant (with a wedding ring reveal that actually might have been inspired by Next Stop Wonderland) and the hilarious medieval themed restaurant catering to a group of aliens who are the SCA on steroids.

All the bad dates build up to both Kelly and Joe thinking 'I'll just try one more blind date...'

It all ends in typical RomCom fashion The Job She Always Wanted AND A Ring! and I had a wonderful time reading this entirely unexpected SciFi twist on the genre.

[Peter Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please give my review a helpful vote - https://www.amazon.com/review/RTNNI2J...

This is a delightful, well-written, engaging read.

This the first book in author E.M. Foner's "Union Station" series, with their curious and clever "variations on a theme" covers. The story involves the travails of EarthCent diplomat Kelly Frank. EarthCent is the autonomous pseudo-government set up by a species of robotic AI beings, known as the Stryx. After the Stryx discovered Earth and gave humans the technology for interstellar flight, for reasons known only to the Stryx, although they seem to be a good sort with a fondness for taking charity cases under the wings, Earth nations became redundant and in the interstellar reaches, it is the seemingly anarchic EarthCent that represents the interests of humanity, with Stryx support.

As the book opens, Kelly is a consul and she is looking for a man, or at least a decent date. Kelly has been given a subscription with the elite, expensive and exclusive Eemiss dating system to see if that situation can be rectified. The dates do not go well, to put it mildly, but, at least, Kelly is able to shine as a diplomat and save the Earth from losing the topsoil of a continent pursuant to a bad contract and put an end to a bride-kidnapping scheme and solve the problem of alien counterfeiting of human trade goods.

The book also winds around the similar dating disasters of Joe McAllister, who is having similar luck with his Eemiss subscription. He dropped out of his mercenary life to raise his foster son, Paul, a war orphan Joe found during one of the wars that he was employed to fight. He is generous and decent. Joe does seem like a good guy who deserves a good woman.

Will Joe and Kelly meet? Will they find love? Why are the omnicompetent Stryx such bad matchmakers?

You will have to read the book to find out.

This book is lightweight and played for an easy-going humor. The insanity of EarthCent's diplomacy and the zaniness of the aliens that Joe and Kelly interact with reminded me of Keith Laumer's Retief stories, albeit Retief didn't seem to have a personal life (or a first name, if I recall.) I found this to be a thoroughly enjoyable diversion and I look forward to future instalments.

[Malum · Rating 2 out of 5]

I held off on reading this for a long time because it looks like it is an erotic novel (not that there is anything wrong with that but, at the same time, that genre is usually pretty terribly written). To my surprise, however, this turned out to be completely clean. It's also not that great. It isn't as terrible as I feared it would be, but I found myself pretty bored through most of it.

It's also worth mentioning that I listened to the audiobook version of this which is narrated by Hollie Jackson, who always makes me want to jam knitting needles into my ears whenever she pops up on an audiobook. That may have influenced my feelings about it a bit (I'm still pretty sure I wouldn't have loved it even with a better narrator, though).

I don't regret checking it out, but I won't be continuing with the series.

[Cloak88 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good natured, SF slice-of life story.

Humanity has reached the stars with a little help from the benevolent IA race the Styx. Kelly Frank is one of the top human diplomats to represent her species. Not an easy job considering how vague and strange as her task description sometimes gets. Now stationed on Union station one of the larges stations run by the Styx she has her work cut out for her. Doubly so because she received a gift subscription for a AI run dation service. Hilarity follows...

This was a humour filled slice-of-life story. No moudy angst filled characters here. Just upbeat characters is weird and hilarious situations and at the end a happy ending.

[Ayse · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked this book right up until the ending. It's funny, the characters are endearing, the antics on the dates were hilarious, but the ending just ruined the whole book for me. I was considering reading the sequel, I was even looking forward to it, hoping the author would develop the story further. Then the last pages happened and now I have zero interest in reading further.

[Coyora Dokusho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Has a Consider Phlebas vibe but far, far, far funnier!! I laughed, a lot! And the story was interesting.

[Jeanny · Rating 1 out of 5]

2017 Cliterary Genius Challenge "Read a book based entirely on its cover art."

DNF @51% Boring Boring Boring!

[Love · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, charming and funny.

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had a tough time getting into this story. It took me time to catch on to what was going on.
Set far into the future, with space travel between different star systems & planets.
Most of the action takes place on a space station near Earth. Two main characters, Kelly & Joe. Kelly is the Earth's (earth cent) Ambassador on the station. Joe runs a junkyard he won in a card game.

Both get signed up for a dating system, created by the super intelligent beings that have put together the space station, and help maintain the relationships between all the different races from all the different planets.

The dates turn out to be something else. Seems each date Kelly goes on, she winds up solving a diplomatic issue between one species and earth.
Each date Joe goes on, he seems to be saving someone, as he is a former military leader.

Both keep questioning the artificial intelligence that runs the dating system, about what is going on, but they get very cryptic answers.

A bunch of humorous incidents and conversations because of language barriers, where certain things do not translate very well.

Not sure if you call it a love story, as we wait to find out if Kelly or Joe ever meet anyone they could actually date. In the meantime, there is all this intrigue and subterfuge about goings on at the space station or in space near the station.

A very different kind of scifi. I did wind up enjoying it, and immediately ordered the sequel.
Gave it 4 stars because of the confusing beginning.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was 4+ stars until the very end. I enjoyed hearing both Kelly’s and Joe’s stories. But they never get to interact in the book until the last few pages and their relationship goes from 0-60. So confusing and disappointing.

The ending just made absolutely no sense.