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The Dark Interval: Letters on Loss, Grief, and Transformation
From the author of Letters to a Young Poet, one of the greatest letter collections of all time, comes a new selection of the great poet's writings to bereaved friends and acquaintances, reflecting on death and dying, providing comfort in a time of grief.
Gleaned from Rainer Maria Rilke's voluminous, never-before-translated correspondence, this book collects the poet's best writings on grief and loss in one place for the first time. The result is a profound vision of the mourning process and a meditation on death's place in our lives, as well as a compilation of sensitive and moving expressions of consolation and condolence. Following the format of Rilke's classic, Letters to a Young Poet, this volume arranges a series of letters to Rilke's mourning friends, composed into a continuous, uninterrupted sequence, showcasing the full range of Rilke's thoughts on finding meaning and, perhaps, some form of comfort in the process of grieving.
Gleaned from Rainer Maria Rilke's voluminous, never-before-translated correspondence, this book collects the poet's best writings on grief and loss in one place for the first time. The result is a profound vision of the mourning process and a meditation on death's place in our lives, as well as a compilation of sensitive and moving expressions of consolation and condolence. Following the format of Rilke's classic, Letters to a Young Poet, this volume arranges a series of letters to Rilke's mourning friends, composed into a continuous, uninterrupted sequence, showcasing the full range of Rilke's thoughts on finding meaning and, perhaps, some form of comfort in the process of grieving.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published August 14, 2018
292 people are currently reading
12365 people want to read
About the author
Rainer Maria Rilke
1,798 books6,932 followersA mystic lyricism and precise imagery often marked verse of German poet Rainer Maria Rilke, whose collections profoundly influenced 20th-century German literature and include
The Book of Hours
(1905) and
The Duino Elegies
(1923).
People consider him of the greatest 20th century users of the language.
His haunting images tend to focus on the difficulty of communion with the ineffable in an age of disbelief, solitude, and profound anxiety — themes that tend to position him as a transitional figure between the traditional and the modernist poets.
His two most famous sequences include the Sonnets to Orpheus , and his most famous prose works include the Letters to a Young Poet and the semi-autobiographical The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge .
He also wrote more than four hundred poems in French, dedicated to the canton of Valais in Switzerland, his homeland of choice.
People consider him of the greatest 20th century users of the language.
His haunting images tend to focus on the difficulty of communion with the ineffable in an age of disbelief, solitude, and profound anxiety — themes that tend to position him as a transitional figure between the traditional and the modernist poets.
His two most famous sequences include the Sonnets to Orpheus , and his most famous prose works include the Letters to a Young Poet and the semi-autobiographical The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge .
He also wrote more than four hundred poems in French, dedicated to the canton of Valais in Switzerland, his homeland of choice.
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July 11, 2018
Rainer Maria Rilke wrote over fourteen thousand letters during his lifetime to anyone who was close to him, anyone with whom he felt a connection, and this included those who contacted him after reading one of his works. Rilke considered his letters to be as significant as his more formal writings, and academics believe the letters to be even more accessible for the general reader.
Spiritually, Rilke believed that we should make sense of, or make peace with, our circumstances while living. He felt strongly that we should live fully in the now, in both the good and dark times.
The preface is an exceptional introduction to Rilke’s work and his beliefs, values, and points-of-view. In fact, the author of the preface used Rilke’s words to make sense of the loss of his own father. He felt the words were a companion to him in his grief. In short, Rilke’s philosophy is to focus on moving with and through the pain of loss rather than trying to overcome it. If we focus solely on overcoming loss, we do not acknowledge the loved one we are missing, and we do not allow ourselves to be shaped by what we learned while grieving. Folks, this is deep and meaningful, almost overwhelming in its depth.
Like all of us, I have experienced tragic losses in my lifetime, and I seek out knowledge and texts on grief and loss to both help me as I continue to move through my own feelings (and hopefully grow), but also to help connect me to others who are moving through similar experiences. It is not something that is ever complete. I cannot check off that box. Grief has been a part of my life and will continue to be, as difficult as that is for me to write. Rilke’s words resonate fervently with me, as I, too, believe that grief is a process that we must walk though. And through his profound words, I am opened up to many more opportunities for personal growth and introspection.
The Dark Interval is a book that I had to read slowly and savor. It requires thought and reflection, but the benefits of that were tremendous. I highly recommend it to anyone who has experienced loss. It is not heavy, or difficult, other than in the weight of your own self-reflection.
Thank you to Random House for the ARC. This Dark Interval will be published on August 14, 2018.
My reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com
Spiritually, Rilke believed that we should make sense of, or make peace with, our circumstances while living. He felt strongly that we should live fully in the now, in both the good and dark times.
The preface is an exceptional introduction to Rilke’s work and his beliefs, values, and points-of-view. In fact, the author of the preface used Rilke’s words to make sense of the loss of his own father. He felt the words were a companion to him in his grief. In short, Rilke’s philosophy is to focus on moving with and through the pain of loss rather than trying to overcome it. If we focus solely on overcoming loss, we do not acknowledge the loved one we are missing, and we do not allow ourselves to be shaped by what we learned while grieving. Folks, this is deep and meaningful, almost overwhelming in its depth.
Like all of us, I have experienced tragic losses in my lifetime, and I seek out knowledge and texts on grief and loss to both help me as I continue to move through my own feelings (and hopefully grow), but also to help connect me to others who are moving through similar experiences. It is not something that is ever complete. I cannot check off that box. Grief has been a part of my life and will continue to be, as difficult as that is for me to write. Rilke’s words resonate fervently with me, as I, too, believe that grief is a process that we must walk though. And through his profound words, I am opened up to many more opportunities for personal growth and introspection.
The Dark Interval is a book that I had to read slowly and savor. It requires thought and reflection, but the benefits of that were tremendous. I highly recommend it to anyone who has experienced loss. It is not heavy, or difficult, other than in the weight of your own self-reflection.
Thank you to Random House for the ARC. This Dark Interval will be published on August 14, 2018.
My reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com
March 20, 2018
After witnessing my mother’s death last month, I found myself asking: how do you reconcile such a transformative event when you don’t have faith to lean on? What does it all mean?
I found the answers in Ranier Maria Rilke’s letters on loss, grief and transformation, which is surprisingly accessible and unsurprisingly well-crafted. Rilkie believes that between the two notes of birth and death we pass through “the dark interval” – a separation that, if we allow it to, contributes to life as a beautiful song.
Death, in Rilkie’s view, is not something to avoid or fear but contributes to an intensely lived life. He writes, “Death does not exceed our strength” and urges the recipients of his letters to not withdraw in bitter loneliness from life but to remain in life, using the pain to forge another path back. While he does not sugarcoat the raw pain that comes from loss, he urges his his readers to use pain to actively transform life.
Moving forward, in Rilke’s view, is to move with and through the pain rather than overcoming it. Religious tenets that strongly suggest that our loved one is “beyond” makes the deceased less approachable and real; rather, Rilke believes we are never closer to the loved one than when we carry him or her inside us, in our hearts. He writes, “Nature…has all the power to heal as long as one does not eavesdrop or interrupt it.”
The lengthy prologue by academic Ulrich Baer is a reason in itself to read this book, as he captures the essence of what Ranier Maria Rilke is saying. While this book may not appeal to staunch religious advocates, it is a much-needed read for anyone trying to find meaning and comfort in the unknowable.
I found the answers in Ranier Maria Rilke’s letters on loss, grief and transformation, which is surprisingly accessible and unsurprisingly well-crafted. Rilkie believes that between the two notes of birth and death we pass through “the dark interval” – a separation that, if we allow it to, contributes to life as a beautiful song.
Death, in Rilkie’s view, is not something to avoid or fear but contributes to an intensely lived life. He writes, “Death does not exceed our strength” and urges the recipients of his letters to not withdraw in bitter loneliness from life but to remain in life, using the pain to forge another path back. While he does not sugarcoat the raw pain that comes from loss, he urges his his readers to use pain to actively transform life.
Moving forward, in Rilke’s view, is to move with and through the pain rather than overcoming it. Religious tenets that strongly suggest that our loved one is “beyond” makes the deceased less approachable and real; rather, Rilke believes we are never closer to the loved one than when we carry him or her inside us, in our hearts. He writes, “Nature…has all the power to heal as long as one does not eavesdrop or interrupt it.”
The lengthy prologue by academic Ulrich Baer is a reason in itself to read this book, as he captures the essence of what Ranier Maria Rilke is saying. While this book may not appeal to staunch religious advocates, it is a much-needed read for anyone trying to find meaning and comfort in the unknowable.
December 26, 2022
”When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one
I think I am--I think I am.
“Then you gently re-remind me
That You've made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who
You are, who You are.
And all I ever have to be is what
You've made me”
All I Ever Have to Be,Amy Grant, Songwriters: Gary Winthur Chapman
”At the time of his death in 1926 at the age of fifty-one, Rilke had written more than fourteen thousand letters, which the poet considered to be as significant as his poetry and prose.”
Born René Karl Wilhelm Johann Josef Maria Rilke, better known as Rainer Maria Rilke, a man who has written one novel, several poetry collections, and a collection of some of his correspondence is included in this collection. An author that I have meant to read for too long, and have now read this one collection of correspondence.
Included are over twenty letters of condolence, which serve as a reminder of the value and lessons of life, among them the tenuous nature of life, and the inevitability of loss. And yet, these are so elevating and inspiring that it never feels burdened with the sorrow, although it is acknowledged as a necessary part, perhaps even an enriching part of the journey through loss. There is a sense of Rilke’s genuine closeness with the recipient, an intimacy with their emotional constitution, what they must be feeling, and what they need to hear, that elevated these letters from a formal note of condolence to ones are personally felt.
From the very first letter in the collection to the last, this is just lovely, and wise, and wonderful.
Highly recommended
Pub Date: 14 AUG 2018
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Random House Publishing Group – Random House / Modern Library
August 22, 2025
The Dark Interval: Letters on Loss, Grief, and Transformation - Rainer Maria Rilke
من أجمل وأرق ما قرأت مؤخرًا؛ رسائل راينر ماريا ريلكه لأصدقائه ومعارفه المكلومين...
هنا مجموعة مؤثرة من رسائل الشاعر الشخصية عن الحزن والفقد، وعبر كلماته المُواسية والمُعزية تقدّم هذه الرسائل رؤية عميقة لـ الحداد وتأمل في تجربة الموت.
ولعلَّ ما زاد إعجابي بهذه المختارات أكثر هو أنّ ريلكه كتبها مع علمه باحتمال نشرها يومًا ما.. لأنه يزعجني نشر خصوصيات الناس ورسائلهم - حتى وإن كانوا مشاهير من الكتاب والشعراء بدون إذنهم.
الكتاب قيد الترجمة الآن وسيصدر قريبًا من منشورات وسم..
من أجمل وأرق ما قرأت مؤخرًا؛ رسائل راينر ماريا ريلكه لأصدقائه ومعارفه المكلومين...
هنا مجموعة مؤثرة من رسائل الشاعر الشخصية عن الحزن والفقد، وعبر كلماته المُواسية والمُعزية تقدّم هذه الرسائل رؤية عميقة لـ الحداد وتأمل في تجربة الموت.
ولعلَّ ما زاد إعجابي بهذه المختارات أكثر هو أنّ ريلكه كتبها مع علمه باحتمال نشرها يومًا ما.. لأنه يزعجني نشر خصوصيات الناس ورسائلهم - حتى وإن كانوا مشاهير من الكتاب والشعراء بدون إذنهم.
الكتاب قيد الترجمة الآن وسيصدر قريبًا من منشورات وسم..
August 18, 2018
Rilke writes compassionately and directly about grief to friends who have suffered losses. His kindness and willingness not to just evade the subject reaches across the years. I think people who have suffered loss will find comfort in the words, but also those of us who struggle to know what to say may find some ideas.
May 29, 2025
I read this. And then bought 10 books to have on hand to give to clients or friends who recently lost someone. Rilke does, somehow, with his poems and letters, cleft my heart with his words. I love his poetry, but god his prose is fantastic too.
October 31, 2018
My life is not this steeply sloping hour
Through which you see me hasten on.
I am a tree standing before my background
I am the rest between two notes
That harmonize only reluctantly:
For death wants to become the loudest tone—
But in the dark interval they reconcile
Tremblingly, and get along.
And the beauty of the song goes on.
My dad passed away last November, and as fate had it scripted, I was the only one who happened to be near him in the odd hours of the night when his frail body that has fought a fierce battle against the looming weight of death gave away its last grip, and he heaved his final breath. I remember feeling his warm hands encircled within my fingers turning cold as ice, so much that the coldness began to spread to my limbs, thighs, waist, and to my heart. And it stuns me that another a November has come and the world rushes to mark the one year death anniversary for my dad when I am still there, near him, holding his hands, crying out in vain, and requesting him repeatedly to come alive, one more time. Just one more time.
Time does not heal. Rather it boxes the memory to be left untouched and it makes me throw myself to my routines. It asks me to laugh, smile, and spread love when the memories keep stored up behind the rumbling business of every day, in silence, while the nights act as a secret vault where I would reopen the memories to live in them and be with the man I love dearly. Just one more time.
In the initial days after the passing of my dad, I always believed that the engulfing grief would just dissolve as days go by. That's what I am told. "You keep learning. You keep inventing yourself. Move on. You will forget all these". Consolations, endearings, sweet notes, hugs come with the single message that somehow the fact of the death would just vanish away and one day I would return back to my normal life. I believed in all the consolations. But, grief works differently. It changes its terms, shapes, forms. And, it remains. The absence of the loved one strikes you when you least expect it. You might be prepared to meet the life's grand challenges without them; the long hard ones. But where would you turn to when life throws at you the pencil lines drawn by them on the sides of a book? Or when you realize that the way you carry your coffee mug is as same as the man who made you? Or those long night you remain wide awake because you want to share something so impersonal as a poem with a man whom you are sure would love it as much as you do?
Grief is an island. You belong there as its sole citizen. Even those who love you so much may not know what you suffer. Because what you lost upon the death of someone you love is something so precious, private, and an invisible space shared by two individuals in their own world. An inch towards the grave yet miles away from reaching your loved ones again. That's grief. At least to me.
After my dad's death, I read a lot to negate the fact of facing anything sad or would bring back my reality stark in front of me. I avoided books, movies, songs that would push me into a whirl of sadness. I laughed, dressed well, worked, traveled across boundaries. But, a year after, I am again here at the point where I started. But this time with the book of Rilke in hand.
Of all the writers I read, Rilke is the one who understands loss and gives me words that I have lost. The language of grief is so serenely mute that sometimes even the one who survives the loss cannot understand what happens to them because articulation fails. The identification of the process of grief, the narration of its process, acknowledging the strangeness, the forever alteration left by death on life are never put in words or we don't consume them when we are busy living otherwise. Rilke draws the picture of grief here. He gives the shades it's missing, draws a fair identification of its boundaries (and acknowledges it's boundness), takes away the strangeness surrounding the most embarrassing topic - death, and most importantly he makes grief life-affirming.
'Liberation' is the word that came to my mind after I finished reading this book. Liberation not from the grief or the long mourning for my dad, but rather I have at last found a refuge to take shelter. And, this refuge is neither dogmatic as religion or bumptious as the move-on attitude or sentimental in its aggregation of values. Rilke's wisdom asks us to take life in all its dimensions - in its sadness, grief, loss, death - so that life could be lived in depth and not grassed on the tip of its surface. As he aptly puts in, "Death is the highest mark etched at the vessel's rim; we are full whenever we reach it, and being full means (for us) a feeling of heaviness, that something is difficult.....that's all."
The beauty of the book lies in the fact that it invents a language to the grief and sometimes reinvents a different perception to deal with it, face to face, just as we dare deal with our lives. One of the most rewarding reads I have done in recent times. A book that has helped me find words to assuage a troubled heart and a mind that misses someone so much. Much grateful.
Through which you see me hasten on.
I am a tree standing before my background
I am the rest between two notes
That harmonize only reluctantly:
For death wants to become the loudest tone—
But in the dark interval they reconcile
Tremblingly, and get along.
And the beauty of the song goes on.
My dad passed away last November, and as fate had it scripted, I was the only one who happened to be near him in the odd hours of the night when his frail body that has fought a fierce battle against the looming weight of death gave away its last grip, and he heaved his final breath. I remember feeling his warm hands encircled within my fingers turning cold as ice, so much that the coldness began to spread to my limbs, thighs, waist, and to my heart. And it stuns me that another a November has come and the world rushes to mark the one year death anniversary for my dad when I am still there, near him, holding his hands, crying out in vain, and requesting him repeatedly to come alive, one more time. Just one more time.
Time does not heal. Rather it boxes the memory to be left untouched and it makes me throw myself to my routines. It asks me to laugh, smile, and spread love when the memories keep stored up behind the rumbling business of every day, in silence, while the nights act as a secret vault where I would reopen the memories to live in them and be with the man I love dearly. Just one more time.
In the initial days after the passing of my dad, I always believed that the engulfing grief would just dissolve as days go by. That's what I am told. "You keep learning. You keep inventing yourself. Move on. You will forget all these". Consolations, endearings, sweet notes, hugs come with the single message that somehow the fact of the death would just vanish away and one day I would return back to my normal life. I believed in all the consolations. But, grief works differently. It changes its terms, shapes, forms. And, it remains. The absence of the loved one strikes you when you least expect it. You might be prepared to meet the life's grand challenges without them; the long hard ones. But where would you turn to when life throws at you the pencil lines drawn by them on the sides of a book? Or when you realize that the way you carry your coffee mug is as same as the man who made you? Or those long night you remain wide awake because you want to share something so impersonal as a poem with a man whom you are sure would love it as much as you do?
Grief is an island. You belong there as its sole citizen. Even those who love you so much may not know what you suffer. Because what you lost upon the death of someone you love is something so precious, private, and an invisible space shared by two individuals in their own world. An inch towards the grave yet miles away from reaching your loved ones again. That's grief. At least to me.
After my dad's death, I read a lot to negate the fact of facing anything sad or would bring back my reality stark in front of me. I avoided books, movies, songs that would push me into a whirl of sadness. I laughed, dressed well, worked, traveled across boundaries. But, a year after, I am again here at the point where I started. But this time with the book of Rilke in hand.
Of all the writers I read, Rilke is the one who understands loss and gives me words that I have lost. The language of grief is so serenely mute that sometimes even the one who survives the loss cannot understand what happens to them because articulation fails. The identification of the process of grief, the narration of its process, acknowledging the strangeness, the forever alteration left by death on life are never put in words or we don't consume them when we are busy living otherwise. Rilke draws the picture of grief here. He gives the shades it's missing, draws a fair identification of its boundaries (and acknowledges it's boundness), takes away the strangeness surrounding the most embarrassing topic - death, and most importantly he makes grief life-affirming.
'Liberation' is the word that came to my mind after I finished reading this book. Liberation not from the grief or the long mourning for my dad, but rather I have at last found a refuge to take shelter. And, this refuge is neither dogmatic as religion or bumptious as the move-on attitude or sentimental in its aggregation of values. Rilke's wisdom asks us to take life in all its dimensions - in its sadness, grief, loss, death - so that life could be lived in depth and not grassed on the tip of its surface. As he aptly puts in, "Death is the highest mark etched at the vessel's rim; we are full whenever we reach it, and being full means (for us) a feeling of heaviness, that something is difficult.....that's all."
The beauty of the book lies in the fact that it invents a language to the grief and sometimes reinvents a different perception to deal with it, face to face, just as we dare deal with our lives. One of the most rewarding reads I have done in recent times. A book that has helped me find words to assuage a troubled heart and a mind that misses someone so much. Much grateful.
December 21, 2022
If someone wrote me a letter like this I would tattoo it on my face
July 11, 2018
Rainer Maria Rilke wrote over 14,000 letters before his tragic death from leukemia at age fifty-one, we are informed in the Preface to The Dark Interval. This volume consists of two dozen of Rilke's condolence letters, newly translated and gathered into one volume. Also included is a letter Rilke wrote to his Polish translator in which he discusses the themes communicated in his poetry.
The letters convey Rilke's philosophy of accepting death as part of existence, embracing the pain, and ensuring that we never truly lose loved ones, they are always with us and their work becomes our work.
I was in my late 20s when I picked up Rilke's slim volume Letters to a Young Poet. I kept the book close, often rereading it, and I gave copies to friends. I added Rilke's poetry to my shelves. I will never forget sitting on the cliffs of Mt. Desert Island, under blue skies with gulls circling overhead, the rushing sea and lobster boats below, and opening for the first time Duino Elegies to read
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the Angelic
Orders? And even if one were to suddenly
take me to its heart, I would vanish into its
stronger existence. For beauty is nothing but
the beginning of terror, that we are still able to bear,
and we revere it so, because it calmly disdains
to destroy us.
Forty years later I still return to Rilke again and again, struggling to understand the letters and poems that have moved me so. I had no idea that The Dark Interval would offer so many answers.
I read a letter at a time, for Rilke's original ideas take concentration and thought. These are letters I will read and reread.
On the death of Countess Alexandrine Schwerin's father Rilke wrote, "...have faith in what is most horrible, instead of fighting it off--it reveals itself for those who can trust it," for "death is only a relentless way of making us familiar and even intimate with the side of our existence that is turned away from us."
To Nanny Wunderly-Volkart he wrote, "We have to get used to the fact that we rest in the pause between two of God's breaths: for that means: to be in time...The brief time of our existence is probably precisely the period when we lose all connection to him and, drifting apart from him, become enmeshed in the creation which he leaves alone."
To Countess Margot Sizzo-Noris-Crouy on the death of her mother, Rilke wrote, "...we should make it our deep and searing curiosity to explore such loss completely and to experience the particular and singular nature of this loss and its impact within our life." He again mentions death as the side of life "permanently turned away from us, and which is not its opposite but its complement to attain perfection, consummation, and the truly complete and round sphere and orb of being." Death is a friend, he consoles, the true yes-sayer. In another letter to the Countess he writes about life's horrors and the unity of bliss and horror as "two faces of the same divinity" as the meaning of his Sonnets to Orpheus.
Rilke's letter to Witold Hulewiz, who translated Rilke's writing into Polish, he addresses the central theme of "the affirmation of life-and-death," death being the "side of life turned away from us."
"Transience everywhere plunges unto a deep being," he wrote Hulewiz. The angel of the Elegies "is that being which vouches for the recognition of the invisible at a higher order of reality."
Rilke states that his angels are not biblical but is "that creature in whom the transformation of the visible into the invisible...appears already consummated." And that is what terrifies we mortals so for we cling to the visible world.
As Letters to a Young Poet can help us learn how to live, The Dark Interval can show us how to accept the mystery of the future which we cannot see or know.
The title The Dark Interval comes from a poem in Rilke's Book of Hours which ends,
I am the rest between two notes
That harmonize only reluctantly:
For death wants to become the loudest tone--
But in the dark interval they reconcile
Tremblingly, and get along.
And the beauty of the song goes on.
I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
The letters convey Rilke's philosophy of accepting death as part of existence, embracing the pain, and ensuring that we never truly lose loved ones, they are always with us and their work becomes our work.
I was in my late 20s when I picked up Rilke's slim volume Letters to a Young Poet. I kept the book close, often rereading it, and I gave copies to friends. I added Rilke's poetry to my shelves. I will never forget sitting on the cliffs of Mt. Desert Island, under blue skies with gulls circling overhead, the rushing sea and lobster boats below, and opening for the first time Duino Elegies to read
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the Angelic
Orders? And even if one were to suddenly
take me to its heart, I would vanish into its
stronger existence. For beauty is nothing but
the beginning of terror, that we are still able to bear,
and we revere it so, because it calmly disdains
to destroy us.
Forty years later I still return to Rilke again and again, struggling to understand the letters and poems that have moved me so. I had no idea that The Dark Interval would offer so many answers.
I read a letter at a time, for Rilke's original ideas take concentration and thought. These are letters I will read and reread.
On the death of Countess Alexandrine Schwerin's father Rilke wrote, "...have faith in what is most horrible, instead of fighting it off--it reveals itself for those who can trust it," for "death is only a relentless way of making us familiar and even intimate with the side of our existence that is turned away from us."
To Nanny Wunderly-Volkart he wrote, "We have to get used to the fact that we rest in the pause between two of God's breaths: for that means: to be in time...The brief time of our existence is probably precisely the period when we lose all connection to him and, drifting apart from him, become enmeshed in the creation which he leaves alone."
To Countess Margot Sizzo-Noris-Crouy on the death of her mother, Rilke wrote, "...we should make it our deep and searing curiosity to explore such loss completely and to experience the particular and singular nature of this loss and its impact within our life." He again mentions death as the side of life "permanently turned away from us, and which is not its opposite but its complement to attain perfection, consummation, and the truly complete and round sphere and orb of being." Death is a friend, he consoles, the true yes-sayer. In another letter to the Countess he writes about life's horrors and the unity of bliss and horror as "two faces of the same divinity" as the meaning of his Sonnets to Orpheus.
Rilke's letter to Witold Hulewiz, who translated Rilke's writing into Polish, he addresses the central theme of "the affirmation of life-and-death," death being the "side of life turned away from us."
"Transience everywhere plunges unto a deep being," he wrote Hulewiz. The angel of the Elegies "is that being which vouches for the recognition of the invisible at a higher order of reality."
Rilke states that his angels are not biblical but is "that creature in whom the transformation of the visible into the invisible...appears already consummated." And that is what terrifies we mortals so for we cling to the visible world.
As Letters to a Young Poet can help us learn how to live, The Dark Interval can show us how to accept the mystery of the future which we cannot see or know.
The title The Dark Interval comes from a poem in Rilke's Book of Hours which ends,
I am the rest between two notes
That harmonize only reluctantly:
For death wants to become the loudest tone--
But in the dark interval they reconcile
Tremblingly, and get along.
And the beauty of the song goes on.
I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.
December 29, 2020
5 stars
It would be impossible for me to put into words the impact this collection has had on me, so instead of a review I will give you some quotes that resonated with me. If you want to face your own grief and become acquainted with it, I would recommend Rilke’s letters to help you do this.
“No constellation is as steadfast, no accomplishment as irrevocable as a connection between human beings which, at the very moment it becomes visible, works more forcefully in those invisible depths where our existence is as lasting as gold lodged in stone, more constant than a star.”
“Where things become truly difficult and unbearable, we find ourselves in a place already very close to its transformation.”
“In my case what had died for me, so to speak, had died into my own heart.”
“We, who live here and now, are not for a moment satisfied in the time-world nor confined in it; we incessantly flow over and over to those who preceded us, to our origin, and to those who seemingly come after us.”
It would be impossible for me to put into words the impact this collection has had on me, so instead of a review I will give you some quotes that resonated with me. If you want to face your own grief and become acquainted with it, I would recommend Rilke’s letters to help you do this.
“No constellation is as steadfast, no accomplishment as irrevocable as a connection between human beings which, at the very moment it becomes visible, works more forcefully in those invisible depths where our existence is as lasting as gold lodged in stone, more constant than a star.”
“Where things become truly difficult and unbearable, we find ourselves in a place already very close to its transformation.”
“In my case what had died for me, so to speak, had died into my own heart.”
“We, who live here and now, are not for a moment satisfied in the time-world nor confined in it; we incessantly flow over and over to those who preceded us, to our origin, and to those who seemingly come after us.”
June 17, 2022
If you have ever dealt with grief read this ❣️
توی بهترین زمان ممکن بازخوانیش کردم :)))
دو هفته بعد کنکوره ...
چند روز بعد سالگرد یکی از عزیزترین هامه ...
و آرومم کرد :))
توی بهترین زمان ممکن بازخوانیش کردم :)))
دو هفته بعد کنکوره ...
چند روز بعد سالگرد یکی از عزیزترین هامه ...
و آرومم کرد :))
February 27, 2025
i need this mans words to be injected into my veins tbh
December 1, 2018
This is a short collection of letters from Rilke to his various friends and acquaintances following the death of a loved one. They contain his thoughts on death as a side to life not to shy away from, and his attempts to encourage them to see “the unity of the horror and the bliss”. Thoughtful and insightful.
September 24, 2020
I read this letter collection very slowly. Only a letter or two everyday. Letters of him written to his long time acquaintances, past passionate lovers, mistresses, muses, friends. Reread a few passages and lines. Highlighted and mused over them for hours some days.
And this journey had to end briefly with the realization of mine that there are so much to explore, so much to experience - love, heartbreaks, parting of close ones, friends and fam that whatever happens it moves on. It has got to. Not in a delusional optimistic or through abstracting things into cynical patterns which I don't know what to call it yet it made me feel there's a way. Its like you're looking at the mirror and it shows everything that's you. All the beliefs, faults, wounds, scars and patches, delusions, joys, hatred and just that you're aware, and so it makes you move on. Maybe I'm just blabbering and failing to express that somehow Rilke makes life more bearable.
"..I am trying nothing more but to be close to you with these simple words...for nobody comes close to true assistance and consolation, except by an act of grace."
And this journey had to end briefly with the realization of mine that there are so much to explore, so much to experience - love, heartbreaks, parting of close ones, friends and fam that whatever happens it moves on. It has got to. Not in a delusional optimistic or through abstracting things into cynical patterns which I don't know what to call it yet it made me feel there's a way. Its like you're looking at the mirror and it shows everything that's you. All the beliefs, faults, wounds, scars and patches, delusions, joys, hatred and just that you're aware, and so it makes you move on. Maybe I'm just blabbering and failing to express that somehow Rilke makes life more bearable.
"..I am trying nothing more but to be close to you with these simple words...for nobody comes close to true assistance and consolation, except by an act of grace."
August 24, 2022
Rilke had some important things to say in his letters to bereaved friends. It's very relevant to me today, as it shines a different light on how one may untangle and work through complex negative emotions and withstand hard times.
"Each time we tackle something with joy, each time we open our eyes toward a yet untouched distance, we transform not only this and the next moment, but we also rearrange and gradually absorb the past inside of us. We dissolve the foreign body of pain of which we know neither its actual consistency and makeup nor how many (perhaps) life-affirming stimuli it imparts, once it has been dissolved, to our blood! Death, especially the most completely felt and experienced death, has never remained an obstacle to life for a surviving individual, because its innermost essence is not contrary to us (as one may occasionally suspect), but it is more knowing about life than we are in our most vital moments. I always think that such a great weight, with its tremendous pressure, somehow has the task of forcing us into a deeper, more intimate layer of life so that we may grow out of it all the more vibrant and fertile. I gained this experience very early on through various circumstances, and it was then confirmed from pain to pain: What is here and now is, after all, what has been given and is expected of us, and we must attempt to transform everything that happens to us into a new familiarity and friendliness with it. For where else should we direct our senses, which after all have been exquisitely designed to grasp and master what is here?"
"...what we welcome now above all, that human beings are making a new start here and there to rebuild life with the strength and the faith of their indestructible hearts. There are others who could try this but who still just stand there, staring and trying to make sense of it all, and for whom sadness and sloth finally become utterly insurmountable. And this even though, based on feeling and reflection, only one thing is urgently needed: to attach oneself somewhere to nature with unconditional purpose, to what is strong, striving, and bright, and to move forward without guile, even if it can happen only in the least important, daily matters."
March 12, 2025
"Time itself does not 'console', as people say superficially; at best it assigns things to their proper place and creates an order. And even this works only because later we pay so little mind and hardly give any consideration to that order to which time so quietly contributes, that instead of admiring everything that now softened and reconciled comes to rest in the great Whole, we treat it as the forgetfulness and weakness of our heart just because our pain is no longer as acute."
June 21, 2022
rilke proven, once again, to be my most effective therapist.
June 17, 2024
This is my bible. I know that I'll take something new from Rilke's words every time I revisit these letters; he is definitely a top contender for the "if i had to invite someone famous dead or alive to my dinner party, who would I choose?" scenario. I would recommend this book to every person dear to me who has experienced loss in some way shape or form (which I believe is basically everyone).
Now, for my top three favorite quotes:
1) "...you must continue his life inside of yours insofar as it was unfinished; his life has now passed onto yours....Just think how much in our daily lives misleads and troubles us, and renders another person's love imprecise for is. But now he is definitely here, now he is completely free to be here and we are completely free to feel him."
2) "Death is not beyond our strength, it is the highest mark etched at the vessel's rim: We are full whenever we reach it, and being full means (for us) a feeling of heaviness, that something is difficult...that is all."
3) "Pull [death] toward you with all your strength, this horrific thing, and as long as you cannot do that, pretend that you are comfortable and familiar with it. Don't scare it off by being scared of it (like everyone else). Interact with it, or is that is still too much of an effort for you, at least hold still so that it can get very close, that always chased-off creature of death, and let it cuddle up to you."
Now, for my top three favorite quotes:
1) "...you must continue his life inside of yours insofar as it was unfinished; his life has now passed onto yours....Just think how much in our daily lives misleads and troubles us, and renders another person's love imprecise for is. But now he is definitely here, now he is completely free to be here and we are completely free to feel him."
2) "Death is not beyond our strength, it is the highest mark etched at the vessel's rim: We are full whenever we reach it, and being full means (for us) a feeling of heaviness, that something is difficult...that is all."
3) "Pull [death] toward you with all your strength, this horrific thing, and as long as you cannot do that, pretend that you are comfortable and familiar with it. Don't scare it off by being scared of it (like everyone else). Interact with it, or is that is still too much of an effort for you, at least hold still so that it can get very close, that always chased-off creature of death, and let it cuddle up to you."
December 22, 2025
رسائل يغلب عليها طابع المواساة والسلوان، كتبها ريلكه في محاولة لتخفيف ألم المرسل إليه، ومواساته، والشدّ على يديه، عبر إرشادٍ وجودي هادئ يبتعد عن النصح المباشر.
صيغت هذه الرسائل بلغة شاعرية نثرية، تنبع من تأمّل داخلي عميق، وتخاطب القلق الإنساني دون ادّعاء.
كما تكشف عن إيمان ريلكه بالفقد، وتسليمه بقدر الإنسان المحتوم؛ الموت، بوصفه جزءًا لا ينفصل عن التجربة الإنسانية.
وغالبًا ما جاءت بلغة حميمية عميقة، بلا ابتذال، تمنح القارئ شعور القرب دون أن تُفرِط في الكشف.
January 6, 2021
Rilke's character and wisdom shine through all these letters. He offers no consolations, yet his acknowledgment of the loss and his kinship translate a coaxing for the grievers to find their way through this dark interval. Rilke's distinct and consistent tone stirs the heart of the reader and serves as a guide towards that learned resilience and unhurried transformation.
December 3, 2025
Rilke continues to move me through his graceful and heartfelt letters. I picked this up in a time of need, and reading Rilke feels like having someone hold your hand and look deeply into your eyes, attentively listening to what your heart is trying to express.
I appreciate that Rilke doesn’t try to comfort us with the idea of an eternal soul, i.e. a sort of conceptual escape from death. Rather, he encourages us to treat death as a friend; something that will inevitably play a role in our life and which might help us live it more fully. The death of our loved ones, and other harrowing passages of life, will always feel unbearable, surreal, and painful. Yet it is through our most challenging experiences that we can learn the most about ourselves and plunge more deeply into the life experience.
«It still seems to me the most wonderful thing in life that the blunt and rough nature of any intrusion and even an obvious disturbance can become the occasion to create a new order within ourselves. It is the most splendid achievement of our life force that it finds a way of looking at evil as something good and fundamentally reverses it.»
He emphasizes how important it is to acknowledge your own pain and give space for your grieving process. Grief is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of how much the loss means to you, and thereby a sign of your strength to love and care. The pain is not a consequence of us failing to move on; it’s evidence that your life has been touched in a way that’s precious and meaningful. Be grateful for the opportunity to be able to feel so deeply, because these feelings are proof that you’re truly living.
«Alas, how little the heart forgets — and how strong it would be if we did not stop it from completing its tasks before they have been fully and truly accomplished! — Not wanting to be consoled for such a loss: That should be our instinct. Instead we should make it our deep and searing curiosity to explore such loss completely and to experience the particular and singular nature of their loss and its impact within our life.»
«There should be no fear that we are not strong enough to endure any and even the closest and most horrible experience of death. Death is not beyond our strength, it is the highest mark etched at the vessel’s rim: We are full whenever we reach it, and being full means (for us) a feeling of heaviness, that something is difficult… that is all.»
Instead of guiding our vision to a «beyond» into which our loved ones disappear, Rilke emphasizes how physical reality (nature, human relationships, experiences) serves as the fundament of our more spiritual reality (identity, love, inner strength). We, the people left behind, become the new vessels of our loved ones and everything they meant to us. We become living creatures fueled by love and our forebears’ wisdom, with the power of carrying it forward into the lives of those who come after us.
«When things become truly difficult and unbearable, we find ourselves in a place already very close to its transformation…»
Moments of challenge and suffering - the loss of something important to us - are powerful because they can catalyze quiet yet fundamental transformations in us. Maybe your values become changed or more clearly outlined; maybe it helps place things into perspective; maybe it clarifies how you want your own time on earth to be. With the death of a loved one, the departed person transform from something alive and visible, into something invisible - the idea of them remaining inside of everyone who knew them. I’d like to think that they haven’t gone off to a heaven, a beyond or an empty void; they’re inside our hearts and minds, closer to us than they’ve ever been, existing through their influence on our lives. Through us, their story continues.
«When I looked for the person who had passed away, he gathered inside of me in peculiar and such surprising ways, and it was deeply moving to feel that he now existed only there.»
«You must continue his life inside of your insofar as it was unfinished; his life has now passed onto yours. You, who quite truly knew him, can quite truly continue in his spirit and on his path. Make it the task of your mourning to explore what he had expected of you, had hoped for you, had wished to happen to you.»
I appreciate that Rilke doesn’t try to comfort us with the idea of an eternal soul, i.e. a sort of conceptual escape from death. Rather, he encourages us to treat death as a friend; something that will inevitably play a role in our life and which might help us live it more fully. The death of our loved ones, and other harrowing passages of life, will always feel unbearable, surreal, and painful. Yet it is through our most challenging experiences that we can learn the most about ourselves and plunge more deeply into the life experience.
«It still seems to me the most wonderful thing in life that the blunt and rough nature of any intrusion and even an obvious disturbance can become the occasion to create a new order within ourselves. It is the most splendid achievement of our life force that it finds a way of looking at evil as something good and fundamentally reverses it.»
He emphasizes how important it is to acknowledge your own pain and give space for your grieving process. Grief is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of how much the loss means to you, and thereby a sign of your strength to love and care. The pain is not a consequence of us failing to move on; it’s evidence that your life has been touched in a way that’s precious and meaningful. Be grateful for the opportunity to be able to feel so deeply, because these feelings are proof that you’re truly living.
«Alas, how little the heart forgets — and how strong it would be if we did not stop it from completing its tasks before they have been fully and truly accomplished! — Not wanting to be consoled for such a loss: That should be our instinct. Instead we should make it our deep and searing curiosity to explore such loss completely and to experience the particular and singular nature of their loss and its impact within our life.»
«There should be no fear that we are not strong enough to endure any and even the closest and most horrible experience of death. Death is not beyond our strength, it is the highest mark etched at the vessel’s rim: We are full whenever we reach it, and being full means (for us) a feeling of heaviness, that something is difficult… that is all.»
Instead of guiding our vision to a «beyond» into which our loved ones disappear, Rilke emphasizes how physical reality (nature, human relationships, experiences) serves as the fundament of our more spiritual reality (identity, love, inner strength). We, the people left behind, become the new vessels of our loved ones and everything they meant to us. We become living creatures fueled by love and our forebears’ wisdom, with the power of carrying it forward into the lives of those who come after us.
«When things become truly difficult and unbearable, we find ourselves in a place already very close to its transformation…»
Moments of challenge and suffering - the loss of something important to us - are powerful because they can catalyze quiet yet fundamental transformations in us. Maybe your values become changed or more clearly outlined; maybe it helps place things into perspective; maybe it clarifies how you want your own time on earth to be. With the death of a loved one, the departed person transform from something alive and visible, into something invisible - the idea of them remaining inside of everyone who knew them. I’d like to think that they haven’t gone off to a heaven, a beyond or an empty void; they’re inside our hearts and minds, closer to us than they’ve ever been, existing through their influence on our lives. Through us, their story continues.
«When I looked for the person who had passed away, he gathered inside of me in peculiar and such surprising ways, and it was deeply moving to feel that he now existed only there.»
«You must continue his life inside of your insofar as it was unfinished; his life has now passed onto yours. You, who quite truly knew him, can quite truly continue in his spirit and on his path. Make it the task of your mourning to explore what he had expected of you, had hoped for you, had wished to happen to you.»
September 5, 2018
Grief is something that almost everyone will experience to some degree or another in their lifetime after the loss of a parent, partner or another close relative. Each person has to deal with it in their own way; anger, sadness, tears, withdrawal and melancholy and it leaves a lasting effect on your psyche, something that you get past, but never over.
Until The Dark Interval dropped on my doormat last week I had never come across Rainer Maria Rilke, but according to the research that I have done since reading this he is a lyrical and intense poet who travelled through a number of European countries before settling in Switzerland. He was also an extensive writer of letters and the ones that comprise this short collection that he wrote to his friends and acquaintances to provide comfort and solace to them in their moments of need.
Death does not exceed our strength
They have been sifted from the vast collection of letters and translated for the first time into English by Ulrich Baer. In each letter, you hear his clear but sympathetic voice as he tries to bring the recipient back to a world away from the pain they are feeling and to use it to forge a new path back to life. There is genuine compassion in his words to all those that he writes to, and it is his words today that can still offer a much needed reassurance to those in their moments of need.
Until The Dark Interval dropped on my doormat last week I had never come across Rainer Maria Rilke, but according to the research that I have done since reading this he is a lyrical and intense poet who travelled through a number of European countries before settling in Switzerland. He was also an extensive writer of letters and the ones that comprise this short collection that he wrote to his friends and acquaintances to provide comfort and solace to them in their moments of need.
Death does not exceed our strength
They have been sifted from the vast collection of letters and translated for the first time into English by Ulrich Baer. In each letter, you hear his clear but sympathetic voice as he tries to bring the recipient back to a world away from the pain they are feeling and to use it to forge a new path back to life. There is genuine compassion in his words to all those that he writes to, and it is his words today that can still offer a much needed reassurance to those in their moments of need.
December 17, 2021
5+.
This book found me earlier this year when I was dealing with the abrupt, untimely loss of a loved one. It is a small book with a stunning preface by Ulrich Baer and 23 letters by Rilke to his fans, friends, family who reached out to him after losing their loved ones. Over the six months I took to savour this book, it managed to wrap me in its warmth and comfort and hold me together with its words and pragmatism.
This will be the year I rediscovered Rilke. It will also be the year I rediscovered why I read. If I could recommend just one book to people, it would be this little gem.
This book found me earlier this year when I was dealing with the abrupt, untimely loss of a loved one. It is a small book with a stunning preface by Ulrich Baer and 23 letters by Rilke to his fans, friends, family who reached out to him after losing their loved ones. Over the six months I took to savour this book, it managed to wrap me in its warmth and comfort and hold me together with its words and pragmatism.
This will be the year I rediscovered Rilke. It will also be the year I rediscovered why I read. If I could recommend just one book to people, it would be this little gem.
August 3, 2024
4.5
Rilke's writing is filled with such compassion and understanding, I just have to admire him for being able to put some of the most difficult feelings into words. These letters reinforced many of my own thoughts regarding loss and grief and death, and I still learned so much (as evidenced by my highlights on nearly every page).
“And while I am completely engulfed in my sadness, I am happy to sense that you exist, beautiful one. I am happy to have flung myself without fear into your beauty just as a bird flings itself into space. I am happy, dear, to have walked with steady faith on the waters of our uncertainty all the way to that island which is your heart and where pain blossoms. Finally: happy.”
Rilke's writing is filled with such compassion and understanding, I just have to admire him for being able to put some of the most difficult feelings into words. These letters reinforced many of my own thoughts regarding loss and grief and death, and I still learned so much (as evidenced by my highlights on nearly every page).
“And while I am completely engulfed in my sadness, I am happy to sense that you exist, beautiful one. I am happy to have flung myself without fear into your beauty just as a bird flings itself into space. I am happy, dear, to have walked with steady faith on the waters of our uncertainty all the way to that island which is your heart and where pain blossoms. Finally: happy.”
April 11, 2021
3.5 stars
March 19, 2023
thanks for the free therapy rainer
February 7, 2025
It’s like a hug from someone 50x better at hugs than anyone you’ve ever met.
April 29, 2021
overall i didn’t find this collection particularly touching, but the letters that were moving moved mountains.
my favorite lines:
“but death is so deeply rooted in the nature of love (if we only become cognizant of death without being misled by the ugliness and suspicions attached to it) that it nowhere contradicts love.”
“we wildly gather the honey of the visible, in order to store it in the great golden hive of the invisible.”
my favorite lines:
“but death is so deeply rooted in the nature of love (if we only become cognizant of death without being misled by the ugliness and suspicions attached to it) that it nowhere contradicts love.”
“we wildly gather the honey of the visible, in order to store it in the great golden hive of the invisible.”
June 18, 2023
A good book for difficult times.
“No constellation is as steadfast, no accomplishment as irrevocable as a connection between human beings which, at the very moment it becomes visible, works more forcefully in those invisible depths where our existence is as lasting as gold lodged in stone, more constant than a star”
“No constellation is as steadfast, no accomplishment as irrevocable as a connection between human beings which, at the very moment it becomes visible, works more forcefully in those invisible depths where our existence is as lasting as gold lodged in stone, more constant than a star”
March 1, 2023
A book to come back to whenever you're grieving. Not just a death, but any loss. It might help.
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