What do you think?
Rate this book
Stay with Me by Ayobami Adebayo | Conversation Starters
Stay with Me by Ayobami Adebayo | Conversation Starters
In “Stay with Me”, readers are taken on a familiar journey with an original cast of characters and unique literary voice. The novel follows Yejide and Akin, a Nigerian couple who have been married since they met at university. Yejide’s difficulties with becoming pregnant eventually lead Akin to take a second wife, breaking the couple’s agreement to remain monogamous. As Yejide attempts to get pregnant, she must deal with the jealousy and fury she feels at her husband’s choice.
Ayobami Adebayo’s debut novel is unforgettable, bursting with color and heart and, as The Guardian describes, “demonstration of female spirit”. The beautiful and nuanced prose invites readers to explore the familiar motif of marital struggles through the lens of a culture that is patriarchal and oppressive. Heartbreak and the expectations of family and community weigh heavily in Adebayo’s narrative, creating a rich and layered story that earned both critical and commercial acclaim.
A Brief Look
EVERY GOOD BOOK CONTAINS A WORLD FAR DEEPER than the surface of its pages. The characters and their world come alive, and the characters and its world still live on. Conversation Starters is peppered with questions designed to bring us beneath the surface of the page and invite us into the world that lives on.
These questions can be used to...
Create Hours of
Promote an atmosphere of discussion for groups
Foster a deeper understanding of the book
Assist in the study of the book, either individually or corporately
Explore unseen realms of the book as never seen before
This book you are about to enjoy is an independent resource meant to supplement the original book. If you have not yet read the original book, we encourage doing before purchasing this unofficial Conversation Starters.
In “Stay with Me”, readers are taken on a familiar journey with an original cast of characters and unique literary voice. The novel follows Yejide and Akin, a Nigerian couple who have been married since they met at university. Yejide’s difficulties with becoming pregnant eventually lead Akin to take a second wife, breaking the couple’s agreement to remain monogamous. As Yejide attempts to get pregnant, she must deal with the jealousy and fury she feels at her husband’s choice.
Ayobami Adebayo’s debut novel is unforgettable, bursting with color and heart and, as The Guardian describes, “demonstration of female spirit”. The beautiful and nuanced prose invites readers to explore the familiar motif of marital struggles through the lens of a culture that is patriarchal and oppressive. Heartbreak and the expectations of family and community weigh heavily in Adebayo’s narrative, creating a rich and layered story that earned both critical and commercial acclaim.
A Brief Look
EVERY GOOD BOOK CONTAINS A WORLD FAR DEEPER than the surface of its pages. The characters and their world come alive, and the characters and its world still live on. Conversation Starters is peppered with questions designed to bring us beneath the surface of the page and invite us into the world that lives on.
These questions can be used to...
Create Hours of
Promote an atmosphere of discussion for groups
Foster a deeper understanding of the book
Assist in the study of the book, either individually or corporately
Explore unseen realms of the book as never seen before
This book you are about to enjoy is an independent resource meant to supplement the original book. If you have not yet read the original book, we encourage doing before purchasing this unofficial Conversation Starters.
ebook
Published November 26, 2017
8 people are currently reading
594 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
July 16, 2019
MARAVILHOSO
September 12, 2023
Wow, for a debut novel, wow!
September 3, 2019
This is a wrenching account of the impact of infertility, childhood illness, and the crushing grip of traditional family culture on a marriage. Set in Nigeria in the last few decades, the narrative is interspersed with coups or attempted coups, but these are just markers of the passage of time . It is intensely emotional, and the chapters on longing for a child will certainly hit a chord with anyone who has been in that position.
Yejide and Akin meet as students, they are instantly and deeply attracted. The story unfolds in short chapters, alternating between the two main protagonists, and most pack a powerful emotional punch, some are quite hard to read. Adebayo writes very well, with economy and impact. The timeline can be a little confusing, with flashbacks gradually clarifying the implicit history.
Early on in the story, we come across deep cultural differences between generations. Yedije is an orphan, brought up in a polygamous household, an outcast as she has no “lineage”, and tormented by the idea her mother died because of her, during birth. She is bright and feisty, well educated, somewhat arrogant with caustic comments on extended family and boorish uneducated neighbours.The deference expected of her by relatives, kneeling before “ elders and betters” takes the western reader by surprise. Akin’s mother, Moomi, is a fairly sympathetic character, but very traditionalist, no believer in medicine but traditional rites and potions, and holds sway over her sons. Akin, the elder, a successful banker and in many ways very caring, is under intense pressure to produce a son.
We have highly credible sympathetic portraits of the feelings of both central characters. Akins!s wayward brother Dotun comes to play a pivotal role, and the joshing sibling relationship feels totally authentic. The story weaves between these central players, a little like braiding hair, Yejide’s successful career, and draws on traditional stories that point up the feeling of the moment.
There is an interesting comparison with another Nigerian novel dealing with polygamy, though much more centrally, “The Secret lives of Baba Segi’s wives”. The latter focuses on the dynamics between the wives and is quite amusing in places. There isn't much humour in “Wait for me” except for a grotesque story early on when Yedige visits a guru up a mountain.
Adebayo’s plot is not especially original, but the novel is hugely enriched by the details of Nigerian life, the sharpness of the writing, and the credibility of the emotional reactions to each fateful stage in the crumbling of the marriage. As a man, I felt a real insight into the feelings of a woman faced with intense anguish in relation to children.
A hugely assured debut, do read this one, but be prepared to shed a tear, admire the grit of true independence, and finally, the warm glow of hope.
Yejide and Akin meet as students, they are instantly and deeply attracted. The story unfolds in short chapters, alternating between the two main protagonists, and most pack a powerful emotional punch, some are quite hard to read. Adebayo writes very well, with economy and impact. The timeline can be a little confusing, with flashbacks gradually clarifying the implicit history.
Early on in the story, we come across deep cultural differences between generations. Yedije is an orphan, brought up in a polygamous household, an outcast as she has no “lineage”, and tormented by the idea her mother died because of her, during birth. She is bright and feisty, well educated, somewhat arrogant with caustic comments on extended family and boorish uneducated neighbours.The deference expected of her by relatives, kneeling before “ elders and betters” takes the western reader by surprise. Akin’s mother, Moomi, is a fairly sympathetic character, but very traditionalist, no believer in medicine but traditional rites and potions, and holds sway over her sons. Akin, the elder, a successful banker and in many ways very caring, is under intense pressure to produce a son.
We have highly credible sympathetic portraits of the feelings of both central characters. Akins!s wayward brother Dotun comes to play a pivotal role, and the joshing sibling relationship feels totally authentic. The story weaves between these central players, a little like braiding hair, Yejide’s successful career, and draws on traditional stories that point up the feeling of the moment.
There is an interesting comparison with another Nigerian novel dealing with polygamy, though much more centrally, “The Secret lives of Baba Segi’s wives”. The latter focuses on the dynamics between the wives and is quite amusing in places. There isn't much humour in “Wait for me” except for a grotesque story early on when Yedige visits a guru up a mountain.
Adebayo’s plot is not especially original, but the novel is hugely enriched by the details of Nigerian life, the sharpness of the writing, and the credibility of the emotional reactions to each fateful stage in the crumbling of the marriage. As a man, I felt a real insight into the feelings of a woman faced with intense anguish in relation to children.
A hugely assured debut, do read this one, but be prepared to shed a tear, admire the grit of true independence, and finally, the warm glow of hope.
August 5, 2019
Stay with Me is a wonderful novel set in Nigeria. Ayobami Adebayo skillfully tells her tale, incorporating Nigerian culture and history from the 1980's forward. I lived in Nigeria as a child; this book feels real to me.
October 26, 2018
Raw story that my partner and I enjoyed talking about like it was a movie :)
April 29, 2019
It is a great book taking you on the journey of each character
May 26, 2020
Good book. Humorous.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2021
FAV BOOK EVER. FINISHED IN A DAY
July 27, 2021
RAMAI CU MINE
Rămâi cu mine este povestea unei soții care, în incapabilitatea de a rămâne însărcinată, este gonită de familia soțului care decide să-i găsească o a doua soție. Povestea are loc într-o societate unde poligamia este acceptată. Povestea este spusa din perspectiva lui Yejide, prima soție a lui Akin si a lui Akin
Romanul este foarte frumos scris, sub forma unei scrisori Așa facem cunonștință cu Yejide, o femeie care nu poate rămâne însărcinată și luăm cumva parte la drama ei de a-și vedea soțul alături de o altă femeie.
Totusi nu stiu ce a vrut sa spuna autoarea cu acest roman.
In unele capitole ne prezinta Nigerias anilor 1980 cu instabilitatea poolitica dar nu aprofundeaza subiectul doar tangential
Unele situatii din roman nu au o nici o logica elementara. Pe fondul unei societati dominate de traditii si superstitii personajele actioneaza uneori in asa fel incat nu le mai poti intelege.
Actiunea este desfasurata pe mai multe planuri dar legatura dintre ele nu e lina parca sunt fragmente care au fost adaugate unul dupa altul.
In final intelegem ca Akin, sotul desi are doua sotii nu reuseste sa devina tata deoarece este impotent, lucru pe care il ascunde desi vede ca Yejide se considera ea vinovata.
Nu am inteles cum au fosty structurate personajele, deoarece doua persoane cu studii superioare nu pot fi sclavele unor superstitii care sa le distruga vietile din cauza unor minciouni
Rămâi cu mine este povestea unei soții care, în incapabilitatea de a rămâne însărcinată, este gonită de familia soțului care decide să-i găsească o a doua soție. Povestea are loc într-o societate unde poligamia este acceptată. Povestea este spusa din perspectiva lui Yejide, prima soție a lui Akin si a lui Akin
Romanul este foarte frumos scris, sub forma unei scrisori Așa facem cunonștință cu Yejide, o femeie care nu poate rămâne însărcinată și luăm cumva parte la drama ei de a-și vedea soțul alături de o altă femeie.
Totusi nu stiu ce a vrut sa spuna autoarea cu acest roman.
In unele capitole ne prezinta Nigerias anilor 1980 cu instabilitatea poolitica dar nu aprofundeaza subiectul doar tangential
Unele situatii din roman nu au o nici o logica elementara. Pe fondul unei societati dominate de traditii si superstitii personajele actioneaza uneori in asa fel incat nu le mai poti intelege.
Actiunea este desfasurata pe mai multe planuri dar legatura dintre ele nu e lina parca sunt fragmente care au fost adaugate unul dupa altul.
In final intelegem ca Akin, sotul desi are doua sotii nu reuseste sa devina tata deoarece este impotent, lucru pe care il ascunde desi vede ca Yejide se considera ea vinovata.
Nu am inteles cum au fosty structurate personajele, deoarece doua persoane cu studii superioare nu pot fi sclavele unor superstitii care sa le distruga vietile din cauza unor minciouni
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 21, 2024
é impressionante a capacidade da autora de utilizar a cultura não como justificativa para decisões que, para pessoas de culturas distintas, poderiam parecer irracionais. os costumes são somente um pano de fundo para decisões psicologicamente justificadas de personagens complexos, complexos para além das convenções sociais do contexto nigeriano.
e a história política da Nigéria sendo contada por momentos dessa família, desse casal, juntando pedaços dessa ficção tão domiciliar ao contexto, é impressionante.
grata pela leitura!
e a história política da Nigéria sendo contada por momentos dessa família, desse casal, juntando pedaços dessa ficção tão domiciliar ao contexto, é impressionante.
grata pela leitura!
August 28, 2019
Ein wirklich fesselndes Buch.
April 10, 2020
This book is as real as you and me.Twisted at the end of every chapter.
Read
October 13, 2020This was a very type of book I read but I loved. It was set in Nigeria in 1990 somehere around there. WHat I loved about it the way different cultures see things in their lives.
July 7, 2022
Loved it!!
January 13, 2023
Bra bok, definitivt läsvärd. Det var ett tag sen jag läste men minns den som väldigt gripande och fin.
December 6, 2023
Engaging as a debut novel and twisting subplot
April 13, 2024
Amazing read. Learnt so much about infertility and families
June 23, 2024
What a beautiful read😭❤️❤️!!! Absolutely loved it🥹.
July 4, 2024
I love this book
January 19, 2025
The sadness is unending...:-(
December 7, 2025
Not a book I would choose, read for bookclub.
Interesting and sad, I was a bit confused on who was who?
Interesting and sad, I was a bit confused on who was who?
October 24, 2025
If your a mother this book will make you feel a way only a mother could feel🥹
January 27, 2021
O livro é muito bom! Tira-nos o fôlego a cada reviravolta e provoca muitas sensações a cada acontecimento.
Recomendo
Recomendo
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews